#151 – Clashing With Reporters

23 06 2010

The bogan knows its rights. It knows that one of those rights is privacy, and that it is particularly entitled to privacy when in public. The bogan is especially protective of its right to privacy when committing criminal acts in public, rioting in public mobs, engaging in episodes of road rage in public, and exiting courthouses in public. The media are nothing but leeches and cockroaches. It is these beliefs that lead the bogan to, when filmed in public against its wishes, clash with reporters. Cameras are smashed, profanities ring through the air, and reporters are assaulted. In many cases, this is recorded by other reporters, which only serves to increase the bodycount.

The bogan does not believe that enforcing its right to privacy in public by clashing with reporters is in contradiction with any of its other behaviours. Meanwhile, its appetite for paparazzi shots of celebrities in tabloid magazines remains unquenchable, it continues to audition for Big Brother every year, and reporters are still expected to expose the unsavoury behaviour of other bogans for its infotainment on Today Tonight and A Current Affair.

There are certain instances in which the bogan will waive its rights to privacy. These include: when waving, gesticulating and holding up poorly spelt, improvised signs in the background of live crosses; when not committing a crime or exiting a courthouse; and any other instance in which the bogan deems the benefits of the publicity to its quest for celebrity status to outweigh any negative impact on any ongoing or future civil or criminal proceedings. Most importantly, the bogan will post every moment of its life on Facebook, encouraging the world to view and wonder at the awesomeness of its life, and the amazing variety of shit groups it can join. This belief will last until it finds itself clashing with reporters. Suddenly, the bogan will believe that everything it posts online under its own name is entirely private, and not to be viewed by anyone.

The bogan that finds itself clashing with reporters will then close itself in its home, bemoaning the papers that have the freedom of speech to say things about it, and the news networks that attack it by showing footage of them clashing with reporters. Despite the fact that the bogan is now at least three degrees closer to Underbelly, its experience as a notorious person has not lived up to its expectations, leaving it disillusioned and sad.


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486 responses

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

The old bogan will always wear its best tracksuit for said court appearance but curiously leave its teeth at home.

23 06 2010
Tone

Usually Fubu or Dada, as bogans like clothes they can spell. Or, in the case of wogans, Kappa.

23 06 2010
Gregbie

It takes its teeth when making an appearance at the food court though.

24 06 2010
lol-plates

Its funny that white bogans wear Fubu (For Us By Us) a black persons brand in the states…

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. If only the bogan knew all it has to do is look into the camera and state loudly that they are not giving permission for their image to be used.

23 06 2010
common man

fi?what about those belly shots we see in the media,the reporter claiming the camera’s off.The bogan forget’s that the michrophone is still turned on hurling abuse for all of sundry to laugh about.Another perfect example is lara bingle one day the meida’s best friend the next giving them the middle finger lol!!

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. What about it? All they have to do is make the statement… Of course, one assumes they not so secretly revel in their new found notoriety.

23 06 2010
Antosha

Ms Bingle giving the media the finger was quite amusing indeed CM! I think they should have set up a 24/7 Bingle Brigade – following her every move. Bets could be taken as to how long she would last before she cracks.

Ahh Miss Bingle… the price of fame..

23 06 2010
Mitch-Jay

You just have to look into the camera and state “LOL”.

Then there’s no way they can use that image.

23 06 2010
Paddington

Incorrect, Fiona. Images taken in public space are entirely usable, regardless of whether a person “states loudly” or not. That’s why it’s called “public space” and the reason Google Earth is able to roam neighbourhoods taking pics of homes and inadvertently capturing images of people picking dog poo off the front of their lawn.

23 06 2010
Simon of South Yarra

which reminds me, the #MCGgunman was arrested wearing a suit! It is nice to know that there are some people that respect the niceties and try to look nice when they are surely going to be on the TV

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Perhaps he was dressed for afternoon tea, given the time of his arrest?

23 06 2010
common man

or off to a meeting with mark marxxxson

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Maybe his mum ran out of name ideas and was so used to going koochie koo to the baby that is what she called him. ? bets are his second name is Koo ? or Poo ?

1 07 2010
Matt

For christs sake enough with the lol lol lol lol lol lol its not neccessary

23 06 2010
the trav

I have stated before that there should be a law passed that if you wear a track suit in public and you are not going to/coming from some sort of sporting endeavour you should be arrested and held in detention for 24 hours..

23 06 2010
Antosha

ALAS !!

Sometimes a certain Antosha can be seen walking the 100 meters to the local ‘Product Store’ in trakky daks.

Here the militsia are more concerned with having the correct identity papers and registration cards etc than what one is wearing…. thank God..

23 06 2010
Pandabater

Trav, does the law specify a full track suit (I agree) or to the wearing of 1/2 a suit (I disagree)? Like Antosha I regularly go & purchase the morning paper in said daks.

23 06 2010
Antosha

Agreed Panda. There’s a time and a place for the good ol’ Trakky Daks.

Can’t say I have worn the full tracksuit, however, since my high school rugby union days.

Toowoomba at 7am in July. I clung to my tracksuit like my life depended on it! My nose freezes over just remembering that day!

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
I can appreciate the Twoomba winter, I grew up in the New England Tablelands mostly in the Armidale area but also spent about 4 years at LLangothlin ,Just North of Guyra and about the same time when at primary school at Furracabad ,just outside Glen Innes. One winter at Glen Innes My dad and I were out in a blizzard getting sheep in to shelter. Wind that would blow a dog of its chain, sleet like little ball bearings, stings like s#@t where it hits the skin and the temperature? 7degrees Farenhite. or minus 13 Centergrade/Celsius.. I Know its not cold by Moscow standards but by the same token with the wind chill its not bad and we dont have the clothing to realy suit those conditions.

24 06 2010
Antosha

Totally agree. I have felt colder in my Mum’s old open breezy Queenslander during a Brisbane cold spell than I ever have in my 3 foot thick, brick, central heated Moscow apartment.

Mind you, last December here I burnt my hand when I touched a metal door handle. It was minus 33 and I literally gave myself a 1st degree burn by touching the cold metal! I had removed my glove to open the door to a bank.. I won’t make that mistake a again!

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
My sister in Toronto tells similar stories.
She always carries a pressure pak of antifreeze for car door locks or house locks .

I remember myself in winter in the cold country we never put the hand brake on when parking in case the cable had water in it and froze up, you could not get the brakes off.

Me I prefer cold weather in as much as one can always put extra clothing on but can only take so much off.
I spent 12 months managing a machinery installation in Malaysia and the humidity with the temperature is a real killer.
we all had to have at least two pairs of safty boots so you could wear them turn about. only way to get them dry enough and help prevent fungus infections of the feet.
Nice enough country and lovely people but frightful weather.

25 06 2010
Antosha

I did 2 years in Jakarta.. the humidity there was a killer too.

Mind you.. the air con in my car and apartment.. and all office buildings, cinemas and shopping centers was excellent.

Problem is in Moscow.. when it hits 30C + (like it is all this week) the city is just not built for the heat. The sun goes down at 11.30pm and it is f*ing hot!!!

5 07 2010
harris28

Hey James Hunter, nice spelling! The cold must have frozen your brain. “OFF its chain.” “Farenhite”? Fail. “Centergrade”? Fail. And you missed the apostrophes in ‘it’s’ & ‘don’t.’ But fear not, these errors certainly make your piece easier for the bogan to read. Well, those than CAN read.

25 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I am with The Trav, no tracky, ever, outside sporting events. Not even in the comfort of your own home.

25 06 2010
vivisection

Me too – appalling lack of standards these days.

25 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You’re a good man Viv.

23 06 2010
miss dahl

Fiona, could you be suggesting that the bogan being “dressed for afternoon tea” is actually aware that looking good and being well dressed is a question of courtesy to those around it? Sounds incredibly evolved to me.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeh, not going to happen is it. Just randomly suiting up.

24 06 2010
FT

I’m pretty sure that it was not a random suiting up… If I recall correctly, at the time of his escapades around the MCG, he was wearing trakkie daks (and I have a vague recollection that they were silver!). The safe money is on the fact that he somehow acquired a suit before being arrested, in an attempt at disguising himself.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Hmmm, perhaps not, given his afternoon tea was a Mars Bar eaten whilst huddled under a piece of tin.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

or as per Ned Kelly a piece of damper eaten behind the shelter of a piece of boiler plate ?

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Sans the visceral fortitude Ned showed, however.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Don’t forget that the said Mars bar is to be washed down with either a flavoured milk, energy drink, functional water or cola, observing the correct etiquette when imbibing said beverage, by chugging it down at speed and announcing their completion of afternoon tea by splitting the air with a powerful eructation.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

What I find incongruous is the bogans ability to simutaineously hold the views that :
It is anti social, criminal and anti Australian to wear a Burka in public
But
It is totally acceptably to wear a hoody everywhear except the shower.

Dont get me wrong, I think both should be banned in all public areas like malls and shopping centres and all banks and all government buildings and schools and universtiies.and…and…and….

Now all we all have to do is sit back and await Pete’s informed comment !! ??

23 06 2010
miss dahl

It’s both sad and funny that bogans are at university. You see, dumbing everything down, including university curricula, was not the best thing to do, after all …

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Oh my word, you’re SO right. And look at how far it’s been dumbed down – James not H is actually EMPLOYED by one!

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
your on the money again,I was employed at UNE untill my mid twenties when i decided to go get a real job in the real world.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Goodness me! Given what your “real world” turned out to be, perhaps you’d have been better off in academia?

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Ah,Fi,
What ifs.
Mind you, I have found engineering most interesting and certainly it has allowed lots of business travel which broadens the mind and numbs the bum
The entertainment side, well I just do tha to keep a perspective on life. I meet lots of interesting people get a bit more travel and besides it helps in the huge task of maintaining personal sanity !

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

JH

You know that I ❤ you very much, but what is it with engineers and spelling? I know a lot of them and none can spell…

Not that I can cast any stones… 😛

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkelstein,
I suspect that a good number of them may be dsylexic to a greater or lesser degree since the condition does entail certain capacities that make for good engineers.
Thinking in pictures and being able to look at objects as if they are floating in space so that one can “walk” round then .
a general ally insitefull problem solving capacity.
oh and crap spelling and for a lot poor maths because of the transpositional errors.though once awarness comes that can be overcome.
hope this helps

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JHster

My dad is a civil engineer, incredibly bright, can do probabilities in his head and has amazing spatial awareness and understanding. But can’t spell to save himself. Which has always made me chuckle.

I hope I didn’t offend you, I was being silly 😕

Having issues myself, I know how hard it can be. I can hardly sit in judgement, I leave that too Peta. 😉

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I have generally good spelling, yet I am also able to a good spatial sense, working out dimensions and proportions.

I suppose we all have our gifts 🙂

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I have generally good spelling, yet I am also able to have a good spatial sense, working out dimensions and proportions.

I suppose we all have our gifts 🙂

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. @BoT. Yes, the rest of us know it as “intelligence”

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Turnips

Indeed we do have our gifts. Not to blow my own horn, but I have a gift for medical analysis and remembering details from years ago. It’s a gift and a curse. 😉

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. *choke*

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Fi

Are you chocking on your hairy chestnuts again?

23 06 2010
Sten

That, and the drunkenness.

Though I feel like I’m throwing stones in a greenhouse in saying that.

23 06 2010
Simon of South Yarra

There are really only two Universities in melbourne, the Shop and the Farm, all the rest are just tech schools with delusions of grandeur offering degrees in make-up et al,

23 06 2010
miss dahl

This is exactly my point: degrees in hairdressing, make-up, HR, acting, etc etc. I mean these used to be the domain of the technical college. University degrees were for medicine, law and philosophy, academia. I almost gagged visibly when a bogan aquaintance and his equally noisome wife, referred to himself as an “academic”; just because he got a pass mark to do a computer techie course at UOW. I mean, I still remember what a real academic looks and sounds like!

23 06 2010
Shirley M

A young bogan lass I am unfortunate enough to know just finished some beauty ‘degree’. Thank f*ck, because if I had to hear her tell me one more time how much study she had to do in order to pass her waxing exam, I was going to bury her alive.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirly ,
Its a reaction to their personal poor self image and their own knowledge of their lack of brains.
They have to make it appear that they have brains and claiming some academic status when all they have done is a beauty thearapists course is pathetic. Not to say that a beauty thearapist doesnt need some brains but to compare to true academic study and qualification is purile.

23 06 2010
Sten

Shirley,

Bury her alive anyway. You’d be doing society a massive favour.

24 06 2010
FT

While you’re at it, Shirley, could you also take care of a bogan acquaintance of mine? She seems to never tire at comparing the ‘extensive study’ she’s done in her customs brokers course to my combined Arts/Law degree, Grad Dip, and Masters…

If it stopped there, I wouldn’t have too much of a problem. However, it’s inevitably followed up by the fact that she will earn more than me when she’s finished her course, because of my chosen career path.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Miss Dahl

I’m interested in your opinion on Nursing as a degree.

23 06 2010
miss dahl

I accept a degree in Nursing. I’ve also long held a belief that they should be paid more.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ miss dahl

I think the cross over from hospital based teaching to full degree is a mistake. Training nurses need more time on ward, in real situations.

I believe wholeheartedly that it should be a degree, but I think there needs to be more ward time DURING the degree and not just grad year.

I only did 13 weeks prac a year and it’s three years. I was lucky, I started my nursing career as Div 2 so I alreay had years of on ward time. As a Div 1 I was surprised when I was offered exemption for first year prac.

And yes, we should be paid more for dealing with Bogans or get a tax break. 😉

25 06 2010
miss dahl

Totally agree with you that the training should be mostly hospital based rather than classroom.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ miss dahl

I don’t want to take away from the classroom work as theory is important, but having done both Div 2 and Div 1, I can see why those who have done their Div 2 are far better nurses because of the prac. You can’t have one with out the other and I think this is where the problem is. 50/50 split would work much better.

But what would I know I’m just a dumb nurse.

23 06 2010
Sten

Agreed. A very good friend of mine has been a nurse for years… but has recently completed a Law degree and is starting a new job as a Solicitor as nursing was hard slog for not enough pay.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. So now she can work harder for less.

23 06 2010
Sten

Maybe so… I’m not really sure how much Solicitors earn, but I guess she also has the satisfaction of being able to spend more time with her husband (also a dear friend of mine) and young son.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. And a tad more respect from society at large.

23 06 2010
Sten

Sadly, I would say that is also correct.

I sure am going to miss all her stories of Bogans ending up in ER for doing stupid things… like masturbating with a Coke bottle and having to get it removed with an angle-grinder… or splitting their shins open because they decided to attach a circular saw blade to their whipper-snipper.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten (16:05:42) :

“Maybe so… I’m not really sure how much Solicitors earn”

Have you ever met a poor solicitor before?

😉

25 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster
The solicitors that work the streets are also known as pimps and they make good money !!

25 06 2010
Sten

Not sure I’ve ever met a Solicitor of any stripe before, Pinky.

On the other hand, one of my friends is a lawyer… and he makes an average of $60k a month.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

This has been the scourge of modern tertiary education, whereby certain courses—of which are no business even being allied to such—are now incorporated into their faculties.

Nowadays, with the advent of the former teachers’ colleges and institutes of technology becoming incorporated as universities, this has allowed a broader range of subjects covered: this in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if there is a strong research element.

But that is the raison d’être of the university: if it exists just to turn out students who can rote learn without question and provide strictly a vocational context to their education, it may as well just be called a polytechnic or a technical school. With the addition of those types of degrees to the syllabus, it has diluted the prestige of universities, to which even the sandstones aren’t immune either. There needs to be that delineation.

There is a place for TAFE and polytechnics, which indeed turn out better students than similarly offered courses at uni, where a strong practical vocational component is more beneficial in learning and ought to be no shame in doing those type of courses in an such facilities (careers across all educational levels have a valid role, no matter what their station). In the greed of some chancellories in attempting to recruit the maximum number of students, they are creating a rod for their own backs by affording a false and pretentious cachet for qualifications that do not involve the required intellectual rigour.

We really need to get away from the whole idea that unless it comes from a university, then it must be crap. Horses for courses…don’t try to run a galloper on a trotting track.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I completely agree. Courses that are designed to train people in particular jobs have no place at a university. I’m thinking of things like engineering, nursing and international relations in particular.

The role of the university is to train one in the Classics and for those so gifted, a higher degree in the Classics beckons.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Must point out that a large amount of research is conducted at universities in all fields of engineering.
A large amount of it is cutting edge maths, physics and both organic and inorganic chemistry.
A large amount of researsh into materials and fabrication technologies needed to be undertaken for the Large Hadron Collider to be built thus enabling the research of the particle physicists and astronomers to mention a few to actually take place.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

Engineering is most definitely university, Fi was just choking on her hairy chestnuts again.

I think nursing should be a degree. It is a highly technical and ‘intellectual’ subject matter.

I think it needs to be 4 years. Adding an ‘intern’ half year or full year. Nursing is incredibly demanding and is more of a ‘vocation’ than a career. Career nurses are weird as they lack the gift of bedside manner. Which cannot be taught.

Hairdressing as a ‘degree’ I’m sorry I can’t agree with that.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Im on your team there
Just hope the hairy chestnuts are Fi’s own ?
Nursing yes Degree pluss one year internship .the old vocational way had some good points but the unwarrented wielding of power by the nurse teachers was often a problem.
My mum and sister were both nurses so have some idea of what your on about

Hair dressing as a degree ? what a Hair Brained Idea.

24 06 2010
vivisection

And bring back the big starched hats!! I tried to get my nurses at work to wear them, but they wont have a bar of it…

24 06 2010
Paddington

According to your theory, then, medical schools that turn out surgeons, specialists and any other practicing medical doctor should be located within a TAFE college. It follows, then, that this should apply to law schools and the schools of science, since they are, ultimately, based on the premise that the individual will practice what they study.

Just to be clear: Medicine, law, engineering, nursing, sciences, archaeology, business, education, creative arts, international relations, journalism, applied/creative media, public relations – all practice-based.

So that leaves you with about three programs within the humanities – literature, sociology and history – doesn’t it?

You sir (and I do mean “sir”), are an idiot.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Paddington,

Who was your post directed at?

24 06 2010
Paddington

Fiona of “Toorak”. It’s just the way the threads sit. It’s a direct response to “her” post at (18:57:35). Unfortunately, the flow of responses get a bit higgeldy piggeldy when there are multiple replies.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Anyone else would have realised who you were referring to. But nope, not P!nky…

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Paddington,

Thank you just wasn’t sure.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Apologies Fiona, but I will have to make a strategic withdrawal and avoid battle this week. I have far to many essays (written largely by bogans) to mark to be able to comprehensively defeat you.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Yes, like THAT’S the reason…

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Given that you have no work to do at all, what is your reason for being unable to successfully flank me?

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Your self-delusion.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

LOL indeed.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Can I suggest that next time you entrench you don’t dig it in quite so straight a line? You’re like shooting fish in a barrel at times.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

All the better to enfilade you, Fiona.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I’m sure you’re aware that trench warfare evolved from as described above due to the fact that it’s I that would be enfilading you! Need I remind you of the horrors of Bloody Lane?

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

You need not. But your enfilading that line does no good unless you intend to occupy it.
Hold on, are we having a Civil War or First World War battle?

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. We are, of course, focused on the ill fated Late Unpleasantness.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I see. I am currently marking papers relating to the causes of the First World War, and thus that “unpleasantness” and related trench fighting is on my mind.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. So? I should be first and foremost in your mind and thus, the War of Northern Aggression should be too.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

If the War is truly the first thing in my mind, then surely the preservation of the Union would come before you.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi beware the trench warfare you may catch trench feet from someone as pedestrian as James(not me)

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I, however, do not wish to preserve the Union as you so desperately (and naturally) do!

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Miss D,
worse , the lowering of the pass mark as the only way to get the bogans through to a degree just so the unis can get their funding

23 06 2010
martin

Ergh, yeah right. The dumbing down of uni degrees was done by the libtards and neo cons to bring in hordes of fee paying Asian and Indian students. So the arts students could feel good about themselves whilst not having to put up with the Asian students because they don’t do arts, the deans and chancellors or whatever get paid obscene amounts of money as ‘bonuses’ and whatever, the governments get a shite load of money, baby boomer property ‘investors’ get to make a lot of money of constantly rising house prices and being able to stuff students in a two bedder at $100+ a week, and the bogan gets to remain employed building houses and apartments.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Libtards and neo cons? Do you like anyone, martin?

23 06 2010
martin

No. Not one single person in the entire world.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Consistent. I respect that. But please, tell me that you at least like martin…

23 06 2010
martin

No. Why do I have to like myself? That’s new age hippy shit. I like that I don’t like myself. Therefore I like martin.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I like you Marty 😉

23 06 2010
martin

Aw thanks Pinky I like you too. 😀

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Martin

Am I the first person on that list? hehehe

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Martin

Ignore that last post as it makes no sense whats-so-ever. hehe

Huge day for brain farts here at Pinkelstien Manor.

What I was trying to say was:

Am I the first person on the ‘like’ list apart from your good self of course 😉

24 06 2010
martin

No Pinky. I was being sarcastic when I said I didn’t like anybody. Sure you knew that anyway.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Marty

I was hoping the winky face would show that I got the sarcasm.

I’m not having a good day **shakes head**

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’ve had the misfortune of seeing Aussie Swassis on the rear windows of the cars of a few fellow collegiates.

But my university, unfortunately, does offer some of those aforementioned Mickey Mouse “degrees”, that really should be the domain of the TAFE college across the road.

I’m not a gamblin’ man meself, but I’m sure I’d wager successfully that those nationalistic knobjockeys are enrolled in those selfsame types of courses. Not likely that those who proudly emblazon such affiliations on their conveyances would pursue a course that demands critical self-examination and open-mindedness from their undergraduates.

Clearly they’re not studying a Higher Degree in the Classics then, Fi…

23 06 2010
pominoz

I saw a Bogan the other evening wearing a hoodie with the hood up and sunglasses on top of the hoodie. It was dark and raining. I live on the Central Coast, do I need to say anymore!

23 06 2010
miss dahl

That could be a reason to relocate?!

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

no you don’t pom. Did you point and laugh?

23 06 2010
pominoz

Well the natural beauty of the area still makes the place worth living in, and I have decent neighbours so it has not reached the desperation stakes as yet.

I have this illogical hate of the hoodie. In the UK its a sign of a chav, but in Oz it seems to be the domain of the bogan. Do they think it makes them look like a moody mysterious stranger? Or they are on the streets of Harlem.

Do I laugh at them? Mmmm I reckon a glassing would come my way!

Oh the things I observe on the Central Coast.

I must admit I was a latte ponce from Balmain until I moved up here!

23 06 2010
Sten

Chav, Bogan, what’s the difference? It’s all in the environment and superficial differences in branding. Their Bogans have EasyJet, ours have Jetstar (even their liveries are similar!), their Bogans have Burberry, ours have Ed Hardy. Their Bogans have Stella Artois, ours have Heinekken.

At the end of the day, an ill-educated, bigoted parvenu is the same, no matter where you look.

That said, I love my hoodie. It’s not branded, it’s nicely lined and it sure keeps me warm on those chilly apres-binge walks home after midnight. Funnily enough, I’ll be wearing it out to the Pub tonight.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

“…ill educated, bigoted parvenu”: marvellous context in your utilisation of the latter word, I wish I had said it myself 🙂

Don’t worry about donning the hoodie, Sten, as I’m sure you’re safe in reminding yourself of the mantra that in not being a bogan, that “it’s not what you do, but how you go about doing it”.

24 06 2010
Sten

Very true, Turnips… or “it’s not what you do, but WHY you do it”. In my case simply for comfort and practicality.

Re: the parvenu thing, thanks! Parvenu is one of my favourite words, and sadly I find myself having to use it more and more often. CuBs spring up like mushrooms (and not the good, hallucinogenic variety) these days.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

I love my hoodies too. Practically my uniform these days. The hoodie allows extra neck warmth.

The bogan ruins everything. So I get “one off” hoodie’s that way I know the bogan wont be able to get one 😉

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Tell us about any single one of your “one off” hoodies.

24 06 2010
Sten

Mine is very much in the style of the Parka worn by Mods in 60s England. Faux-fur trimming and everything. It’s very comfortable. And yes, eliminates the need to wear a scarf.

23 06 2010
Antosha

@ JH

I think young Peter is busy in the kitchen today. I hear he is whipping up quite an extravaganza involving artichokes, a particularly ripe eggplant, and a goat.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
God you broke me up with that, picture of petey whipping a goat while trying to stuff artichokes and eggplants down its throat through a funnel fashioned from an old boot with the toe cut out.
The purpose being to fatten the goats liver for to make “bovid pate”

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Peter once cooked a goat, from the inside.

23 06 2010
common man

?Was tbl refering to that horror kochie@mel with:background live crosses? im geussing so

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Mel is awesome, the very embodiment of the real aussie housewife.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Fat and stupid. I agree,

23 06 2010
AntiPajero

“Frumpy Chic”. Maybe.

By the way:
Is there such a thing as unauthorised video footage? Even with the
I’m labouring under the assumption that while certain locations prohibit photography (like trains and train stations), one’simage is fair game everywhere else, yes..?

23 06 2010
Dan

The law in Queensland – and it’s presumably similar in other places – prohibits the recording (still shots or footage) of private acts or in private places. The former includes people being in a state of undress or engaged other types of activities where one would reasonably expect privacy (such as changing at a community pool) – the latter refers to places where one reasonably expects privacy (such as bathrooms).

Anywhere is pretty much fair game (unless there are other offences, like it being a minor or if you are trespassing).

23 06 2010
vivisection

So get your kit off if reporters start chasing you down the street 🙂

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

You can Vivi, just let me know where and when. 😉

23 06 2010
Shirley M

What is it with those clown shoes that will stand behind a reporter on locale and gawk at the camera? I bet they get on the blower immediately to tell all their friends and family they is gunna be on the telly!

I applied to go on big brother…. true story.

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Why weren’t you accepted? Or were you…

23 06 2010
Shirley M

I don’t know why I wasn’t accepted. Even if I was, I’m not sure if I would have gone through with it. I just wanted to see if I could get in. I remember being furious that I wasn’t chosen over the eventual housemates. I can’t remember which year it was now.

23 06 2010
Sten

I don’t think you’d post here if you were accepted, Shirley. The token intelligent person that show had was a Lefty friend-of-a-friend of mine. From memory, he lasted a shade longer than a jellyfish would in a blast-furnace.

23 06 2010
pb

i think that token lefty was a friend of an old colleague of mine.

23 06 2010
Sten

Tim, I think his name was.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Yes, he also did get some gigs with The Chaser.

Uncharacteristically sharp; the selection panel must have been asleep at the wheel, or were simply had a sadistic desire to dump (likely, in their view) a smartarse amongst a phalanx of fatheads and see how long he could endure the torture.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

Was he the one who gave a knockback to that slapper in the private room? Ahh the electric toothbrush, the poor girls vibrator.

P.S.
I fear I may have just destroyed any credibility I may have had by revealing a memory of that fetid stenchpit of a show.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pandabeater
electric tooth brush also makes a good look pic.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

*lock pic*

24 06 2010
Sten

Indeed, James. I’m surprised the notion hasn’t popped up in Burn Notice yet.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

I watched a lot of BB and have no idea what you’re talking about. Electric toothbrush? Details! I want details!

23 06 2010
Pandabater

It was shown on the mid-week naughty bits show. Slapper was in the bath giving obviously uninterested male every non-verbal come-on she could muster. Eventually uninterested male left the room & slapper swithes on toothbrush to um I beleive the term is ‘finish herself off’.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

With her toothbrush!? Or someone elses toothbrush (’cause that would be totally fine).

You’ve reminded me why I never watched the ‘uncut’ show.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

I am not an expert on female masturbation techniques (but I’ll take a look at it for you, boom boom) but I would imagine you wouldn’t use the brush end (not more than once anyway) but the other end.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

Still…..

23 06 2010
Pandabater

Shirl, I have beat around the bush trying not to be too vulgar but the idea is to massage the clitoris with a vibrating object to acheive orgasm.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

Hahahaha! Yes I understand the point of the exercise. I meant, still…I have hygiene issues even with using the handle end of one’s toothbrush for self pleasure.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

See above “slapper”.

There endeth the lesson, Spicks & Specks time. Bye for now.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

That’s why I decided to make a slight anagram of the uncut show’s title to “Big Brother Uc*nt”

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

No idea. I only knew of who he was after the fact, by which time he escaped (or perhaps was even spat out, barely tasted by) the ravenous maw of Endemol Productions.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

The above comment was @pandabater, in reply to whether he knocked toothbrush queen back.

I don’t even recall that controversy, to be perfectly francis with you.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

BOT,
Is that “Panadol Productions”

23 06 2010
Pandabater

Don’t be worried BoT, it’s just another one of the millions of worthless pieces of crap that reside in my overloaded brain. Now where did I put my lifesaving medicine?

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

In the packet of Ende…ah, scheiße! Panadol.

As always in the critique of the strange habits of the boganry, one can reliably cite the rapier wit of TISM for both observation and inspiration.

They had a pearler of a ditty titled “As Seen On Reality”; for SGaA and g’ea, there’s even a line which pertains to their preferred martial art within.

Enjoy.

If you watch Reality;
Got your crotch on Reality;
If you act on Reality;
Know a fact from Reality;
If you make up Reality;
See a break up on Reality;
If you produce Reality;
Don’t want to reduce Reality;
If you costume Reality;
Know a better rest room than Reality;
If you write on Reality;
Do the lights on Reality;
If your ad’s on Reality;
Follow the fads on Reality;
If you grew up on Reality;
Didn’t throw up on Reality;
If you write about – bring about – fight about – sing about; admire it – inspire it – hire it – acquire it;

If you love it, you deserve it.

If you make Reality
If you fake Reality
Get your face on Reality
Product placed on Reality
Your song’s on Reality;
It belongs on Reality;
You relate to Reality
You fellate Reality
Gay or straight on Reality
Celibate on Reality
If you renovate Reality
If you decorate Reality
If you argue ‘bout the stinking
Body Corporate on Reality
If you cook on Reality
Even look at Reality
Give garden tips on Reality
Give me the shits on Reality
If you program Reality
Don’t wanna pogrom Reality
If you’re addicted to Reality
To who’s evicted from Reality
If you getaway on Reality
Not get away from Reality
Find a match on Reality
Not put a match to Reality
Cameo on Reality
Funniest video Reality
If you do a deal on Reality
If you keep it real on Reality
If you vote on Reality
Cross-promote on Reality
Like the cast on Reality
Don’t wanna glass them on Reality
If you don’t can it – bash it – ban it – trash it; If you follow it – observe it – swallow it – “lurve” it:

23 06 2010
Shirley M

I remain convinced that if I had been accepted, I would have won.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Oh.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

Hey Petey! Did you see the lovely songs I recorded just for you? xxx

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Still struggling with the english language I see Peta.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Give Pete a break, ( no! not an arm or leg)
remember that English is not Pete’s native language. he struggled through the ESL classes to get to where he is.

That is not saying What his native language is
Nor is it saying Where he is at.

23 06 2010
SD

Common Man to Peter (post #150):

“his loss, i love the commentor’s humour here the fb group is..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

23 06 2010
Shirley M

You keep saying that. ‘Try and keep up’. Problem is, I don’t think anyone knows exactly what they are trying to keep up with, Petey.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirly M,
Dont worry be happy
Petey doesnt know either.

23 06 2010
common man

pete everyone here knows i have a conbined order:3/4 dsylexic and 1/4 adhd.SO whats your excuse for the irrelevant of topic inane banter?

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Common Man,
Well everyone here doesnt know. At least I didnt and I would have noticed because I am blessed and cursed with full dsylexia since before trhey had a name for it. Mind you I thought everyone on this site knew my “Blessed Problem”
Teachers used to call me stupid and when I got extraordinary scores for some sections of the school IQ tests they accused me of cheating. Had to redoo special tests under special supervision. Got better scores the second time so they just said well he may be cleaver at something but mostly hes stupid and lazy. Grrrrrrr
I actually wasnt lazy, just bored stupid.
mind you my idiosyncracies have been very useful to me in engineering and I would not want to be “normal ” for quids.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

I had a similar experience during childhood. Except not dyslexia. 😀

I was lucky enough to go to a private high school, so I was spared during my teenage years and was encouraged rather than put down.

You’re not stupid…you’re silly. 😀

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Praise the (insert diety of choice) .

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

I’m an atheist 😉

I have a few ‘disorders’ that mess me up royally. I wasn’t officially diagnosed until I was 24.

Since diagnosis things have been easier and harder.

23 06 2010
Sten

I’m an Atheist as well, but will often loudly extoll the virtues of Evil Lord Xenu, on the off chance a Scientologist is around to hear it.

Scientology… the perfect religion for the Nouveau-Bogue.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Angelina Jolie has just turned Scientologist. I saw it on the cover of No Idea whilst getting my lunch so it must be true.

23 06 2010
Sten

The thing is, Simon, this doesn’t surprise me one bit. Nobody would notice her at all if not for her increasingly-bizarre antics.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Sort of famous for being famous these days. I don’t see her as a beauty by any stretch of the imagination.

23 06 2010
Sten

Me neither, though many of my mates do. I think they need their heads read.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bogans Sten, the same ones will chortle at 2 1/2.

23 06 2010
Sten

Not too sure about that, Simon. Most of my friends are at least somewhat educated and cultured… but you’re right about 2 1/2 Men.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

So where is the line I wonder. I find it hard to align a liking of 2 1/2 with cultured and educated. I have the same problem with good friends of mine who love the show yet all other signs are non bogan.

23 06 2010
Sten

I suppose that’s the thing… the line can appear to be quite blurry these days, and I find that frankly disturbing.

Pre-resources boom, it was easy to tell who was what. If you wore flannies and ugg boots, you were a Bogan. If not, you probably weren’t.

Anyway, orff to the Pub now. ‘evening all.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

I wouldn’t be able to say it in a serious enough tone to draw them out.

I do however enjoy saying “Save me Tom Cruise” a la Ricky Bobby.

Are you active in the atheist community?

24 06 2010
Sten

No, Pinky, though I should be. Separation of church and state (and the latter’s constant insidious attempts to encroach on the former) is a big concern of mine, along with teaching of religion in state schools and so on and so forth…

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Thank God (pun intended – in case you know what that means) you’re smart enough to know not to speak in front of actually intelligent people.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. A “fear of atheism in the general community”? Uh, where exactly? Not in any community I’m aware of.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Sten, I would be much more concerned with the attempts of the church to influence affairs of state.

24 06 2010
Sten

James, that’s exactly what I said.

24 06 2010
Sten

Viv, you lucky bastard. All my mates got to skive off Scripture, but because my parents are religious, I was not so fortunate.

Pinky, good on you. I’m sure you’re a fantastic Mum.

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I believe in maintaining a distinct separation of Church and State, which extends to my belief that public schools are not the place to teach Religious Education: there are private schools that exist to cater for this and for those who cannot afford to send their children there, the churches usually offer after-school tuition to them.

If there are Government schools that do indeed offer RE, then it ought only be offered strictly on an “opt-in” basis, perhaps offering instead a subject on based on humanistic ethics as either the default.

But this issue brings up the inverse of this: those of who send their children to religious-based schools. There are far too many parents (often CUBs) who want all the benefit (i.e. perceived better discipline) of those schools, but struggle with the accompanying dogma. With this shift to the private system and the easing of the requirements to be enrolled into them (i.e. not being communicants), this has contributed to the undermining of public schooling.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
I am pretty much an atheist but if ever i lean towards a “god ” type critter then my thoughts are agnostic.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

Your like my dad. Totally atheist except for the bad stuff, like the drought that saw him have to kill (gulp) most of his live stock. Really sad so he blamed god 😉

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

AFA is doing a campaign (I think) on the religion state schools issue. I do as much as I can by going to the meet up’s etc.

Nice people too. Really smart. I don’t speak 😉

24 06 2010
vivisection

Pinky, when i was growing up, I went to state schools and my mother would write a note for each of us kids saying”

“Vivisection is not religious, please send him to the library during Religious Education”.

My sisters and I would go to the library every wed morning at 9am and hang out with our cousins, listening to 80’s cassettes, reading Choose Your Own Adventure Books and playing Uno while all the other 700 kids at the school sat through R.E. I still thank my mother for this, and have thought about getting her to write me another of these notes so I can print it on a t-shirt.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Vivi

My kids don’t do it either. A lot of the kids in my daughters school don’t. She gets to play games in the hall or can go to the library.

I got cross when the RE teacher said a ‘prayer’ for the children leaving the room. I nearly had a heart attack, but didn’t say anything because there is a fear of Atheism in the general community. I know you know what that feels like. Not that I am comparing experiences.

These people are mental.

I wont start because I wont stop. 😉

Love your work always Vivi!

23 06 2010
common man

here,here I cound’t have written that any more truthfull myself.Also once an A grade bored shitless with the curiculum some 15yr’s go but i still crave education and knowledge,Hence why i love reading the comment’s here while working a tedious job to pay the mortgage.God i really need do start doing a night course of some sort but finding the time amongst doing all the household chores and hobbies is hard

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Cm,
there are some excellent websites and books on dsylexia,
if you want to know more my email address is on my website , give me a call.

24 06 2010
martin

@ Re Viv and Pinkys thing about religion at school, damn wordpress, there’s no reply link under a lot of the posts.

I went to a public school as well and we were visited by a Christian once a month. My dad said I didn’t have to go, he was an atheist, but I went anyway, I find it useful to learn how retarded people generally are. I remember only one other girl had the guts to say she was an atheist as well. I was an atheist when I was a kid.

As of now I guess I’m sort of agnostic, in that you can’t tell one way or another if there’s *something* out there. Sure as hell ain’t nothing on earth though. Sometimes I also find it somewhat satisfying that certain people *may* be punished for their evil deeds if there is *something*.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Petey,
Is Special Needs your Native Language ?

23 06 2010
Antosha

Peter! Welcome back good sir!

I must say, the Austrian Cabbage went splendidly with my Kolbasa on Sunday night! Great work!

23 06 2010
Brimstone

This, like the ‘free speech’ entry, seems disturbingly fascist. Bogans, like everyone else, have the right to privacy unless they waive it.
Jonathan Holmes on Media Watch has been defending people who clash with reporters on the grounds that, often, the reporters are following grieving people around or forcing their way into their private lives

23 06 2010
AntiPajero

As I understand it, you have no “right” to privacy when it comes to your image or voice. You have the right to close your curtains, and the right to glass intruders bearing cameras on your property, but if they record you in any form from anywhere else: it’s not yours, it’s theirs.

23 06 2010
Brimstone

I’m talking basic human rights, not legal rights

If my mother had just died and reporters decided to follow me into my home even after I told them to leave would i be justified in yelling at them? Or would i be called a ‘bogan’?

Again, I’m getting this from Media Watch, not ACA. if you can’t trust them who can you trust?

23 06 2010
Shirley M

I think we all are aware that the media are scum and are willing to harass anyone for a good story. We’re not talking about the grieving or downtrodden in this case. We’re talking about bogans doing stupid shit and then claiming their rights to privacy, when they ordinarily wouldn’t care about it.

23 06 2010
pb

i think there’s also the hypocrisy in that they’d happily watch it happen to someone else, but when the camera is shoved in their face they don’t like it.
brimstone, you’re right that the way the media think they can film anyone in any circumstance is horrible – the cameraman in melbourne repeatedly insulting someone leaving court until he got a reaction is a prime example – but this type of reporting is encouraged by the ratings it gets from bogans who like watching other bogans getting cameras shoved in their faces.

23 06 2010
AntiPajero

Heh.

It’s like a symbiotic boganic feeding cycle. Each nourishing the other with its cr@p.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

I didn’t attempt to make it at all ironic, Petey. xx

23 06 2010
common man

pete?isnt a bit early to be on the coolaid

23 06 2010
pb

peter’s never off it.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Is coolaid on the PBS ?

23 06 2010
Sten

I wish it was Kool-Aid a la Jim Jones…

OH YEAH!

23 06 2010
miss dahl

I still think Lotto is the better alternative to the media whorehouse that is BB: you buy a ticket, win, stay anonymous, enjoy the good life!

23 06 2010
kenny

Nor so sure abut this one.
Media are scum, in general, and they do meddle in matters they shouldnt.

23 06 2010
miss dahl

Media meddle in matters they shouldn’t: probably because they have been empowered to do so via “the right of free speech” – so, because of this dictum, we are forced to take the good with the bad. However, there are ways around this problem, one being, don’t throw yourself in front of every camera and then cry about lack of privacy – it only makes one look at best, indecisive, at worst, bipolar. Madonna being one such example. We all remember her press antics of the past. Even Princess Di, but I won’t say bad things about dead people (publicly, at least).

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Miss Dahl,
Bi Polar ? or Schophrenic ?

23 06 2010
miss dahl

Well, strictly speaking, bipolar would fit the behaviour because of the way they desperately seek out media attention, even alerting an unsuspecting media to a private event (ever wondered how the press get wind of “secret”events?) and then the manic denial of ever wanting to have anything to do with the media. That, to me, smacks of uncertified bipolar disorder. And, as a disclaimer, I will add that if any bogan is reading this now and decides to call in and tell us of his offence at my using bipolar as a descriptor for crazy behaviour, because his father’s sister’s aunt’s cousin is currently doing time in an institution for similar aberrant behaviour, then don’t bother. Where I come from, they don’t ask if ytou have crazy people in the family, they just ask what side they’re on!

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Miss D
where I come from its how many on each side !

23 06 2010
common man

if this is the same peter blight that haunts the fb group i wound’t be surprsied in the least

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I reckon it is CM. I wont go on the FB page anymore because of wasters such as Peta.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Peter once had a friend, once.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

simon,
another 8,9,8,9,9,
could have been made a tad clearer by underlining the “a”

23 06 2010
Antosha

ALAS.. Poor Peter…

Misunderstood songwriters have such a hard time in the modern world…

23 06 2010
Brimstone

what’s wrong with being bipolar?
and just because I, say, broadcast my life on Facebook doesn’t give reporters the right to invade my house or harass me. we choose our own level of privacy

again, Jonathan Holmes at Media Watch has been great with this

23 06 2010
FIONA OF LOL

LOL. Fiona, can you please stop starting every single god damn post you make with LOL? Do you have any idea how annoying it is? You do it in practically every comment you make on this site and it drives me nuts every time I scroll down. You did it in EVERY comment in this post, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS BOGUE, PLEASE STOP!!!!!!

Surely i’m not the only one that finds it annoying. I find most people who capitalise LOL to be annoying, lol is far less annoying and intrusive, LOL is just lame, and really annoying to see.

23 06 2010
Shirley M

Ahhh so your handle is ironic, I take it?

23 06 2010
FIONA OF LOL

Yes, very ironic 😉

23 06 2010
common man

No shirley it just doesn’t understand the pisstake thinktank that is fi

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Fiona of LOL
Your pretty precious and F#@king anoying yourself.

23 06 2010
urbanreverie

________________________
| |
| DO NOT |
| FEED THE TROLLS |
| |
| By order |
| Shire Clerk |
|________________________|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
\ | | /
_______\ \| |/______________

23 06 2010
urbanreverie

Bugger, ASCII art doesn’t work on here. Oh well!

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Urban

I’m with you
“No feeding the trolls, they are wild animals”

26 06 2010
Whistling Nixie

That’s simply because it’s not a fixed-width font. Is it possible to use HTML on this blog?

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Petey bub,
You saving the environment with your economical use of words ?
Beter then the usual commical.
giggle, smirk, yawn

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Not practically every comment, actually every comment.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

I see another one (FOL) has been hooked & is flapping in the bottom of the boat. I will leave to Fiona (FoT) to despatch it with the oar.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

What was I thinking?

Fiona will ask one of the staff to despatch said Troll with the oar.

Simon – GaA, your services are required.

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Here,

I just love it when someone pops a vein and tells Fi to desisit or tries to call her out. I always wonder if she has a scoreboard at home and if so how many scalps are on it?

23 06 2010
Pandabater

Simon, it gives me a giggle every time.
I was also amused by the irony, sadly it turned out to be the Alanis Morrisette type irony.

23 06 2010
martin

I think the media are way more bogan than the bogans who get nailed on TT or ACA or News Ltd or Fairfax.

Like that cameraman who called the persons of Middle Eastern decent ‘terrorists’ in order to provoke them. The channel nein cameraman.

23 06 2010
SD

True – e.g. like the bizarre story reported yesterday with the Channel Nein guy in some weird concocted murder “sting”.

23 06 2010
urbanreverie

I don’t think clashing with reporters is something that is necessarily bogan, or even something bogans like doing. I just think that having a camera shoved in your face by the Hounds of Willoughby is an extremely menacing experience, and that humans being human, it’s to be expected that some people might lose their cool and lash out. Especially if you’ve never experienced it before. The sudden awareness that your face may be seen by four million viewers across the country this evening can excite one’s primitive emotional responses.

At the opposite end of the “losing your cool” spectrum, did anyone see the Media Watch story about said Hounds of Willoughby harassing colourful identity Ken Ibrahim on the street in Kings Cross? Now THAT’S what I call keeping your cool!

23 06 2010
Brimstone

“I don’t think clashing with reporters is something that is necessarily bogan, or even something bogans like doing. I just think that having a camera shoved in your face by the Hounds of Willoughby is an extremely menacing experience, and that humans being human, it’s to be expected that some people might lose their cool and lash out. Especially if you’ve never experienced it before. The sudden awareness that your face may be seen by four million viewers across the country this evening can excite one’s primitive emotional responses.”

EXACTLY

and again, it’s a matter of choice. i choose what i broadcast on Facebook and Twitter and on here. reporters who hound grieving widows aren’t giving them that choise

this reminds me of the ‘free speech’ entry. i know the site is snobbish but it’s getting pretty fascist too…

Ah, there’s the F word. The central point of this entry isn’t a value judgement on the scope of the media. While the bogan’s voyeuristic media consumption tastes have helped to drive the standard of journalism in this country ever lower, the juxtaposition in today’s entry is the bogan’s selective and internally contradictory courting of maxtreme media attention when it suits it, and the furious, indignant, righteous rejection of that same media’s attention when it doesn’t suit it. TBL

23 06 2010
Peter

Hang on, doesn’t James Hunter record for Juxtaposition Records?

23 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Along with his stable mate, David Brent? *cue vaseline covered lens, linen suit, hardwood floors and doves*

23 06 2010
Antosha

Fi… If you don’t know me by now….

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Pete ,
If there is any disconect round here you have internalised it.

23 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

And you’ve done it very well TBL

23 06 2010
Peter of Kensington

TBL, your views on dealing with the media may be put to the test considering the impending release of your book.

I assume you will embrace the media if cameras are shoved in your face, for you are not Bogan, right? Or do you believe publicly publishing a book on a controversial subject is not considered courting the media? If not, I would be interested to know what constitutes ‘courting’ as it relates to the Bogan.

Out of curiosity, will you revert to your real names or continue to use pseudonyms?

This is a media-related enquiry. Media-related enquiries are handled via thingsboganslike@gmail.com. TBL

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bogans = Controversial subject?

What an exciting life you do lead in Kensington.

23 06 2010
Brimstone

“elective and internally contradictory courting of maxtreme media attention when it suits it, and the furious, indignant, righteous rejection of that same media’s attention when it doesn’t suit it”

all that says is ‘a bogan likes media attention that it asks for and doesn’t like unasked for media attention’. isn’t that true of anyone?

like someone else said you’ll probably want media attention when promoting the TBL book but wouldn’t want it under other circumstances

23 06 2010
Peter of Kensington

This is a media-related enquiry. Media-related enquiries are handled via thingsboganslike@gmail.com. TBL

amirite?

23 06 2010
pb

brimstone, i think part of it is that the bogan likes to watch unasked for media attention of other bogans – it likes watching it happen to someone else, but doesn’t like it when applied to itself.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

It’s the old story of the fisherman getting caught in his own net. They love the taste of the blood of vengeance. Until it is their turn to bleed.

23 06 2010
martin

I agree. I’m surprised nobody has killed any of them yet. The last bashing I saw was two plumbers who bashed some TT guys. But the plumbers were bastards by the looks of things because they charged a pensioner nearly $2k I think it was to fix a tap. That’s one of my pet hates, rip off bastard tradies so in this case the story was a good thing. It would be good to catalogue the stories to know which ones were good and which were unjustified bullying.

Certainly the way they treated the air hostess who banged that Fiennes bloke in the toilet was unjustified.

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

It’s all fun-and-games, until one of their own cop it in the neck.

Not a matter of if, but when, one of those foot-in-the-door “journos” or camera-ops will get killed in their ham-fisted pursuit of scraping the lees in the name of securing a salacious scandal scoop.

Only then might they have a long hard look into their degenerated ethical rationale. Maybe for a week after their hagiographic tribute special to their fallen fellow friend, with the footage in slo-mo with some clichéd mawkish dirge for the soundtrack. Then it’ll be once again BAU, but with an added level of sanctimonious zeal in grubbily grasping the inside grime.

23 06 2010
melz

You forgot ‘when exiting a courthouse accompanying family member or friend who has committed a crime’ as an instance when the bogan will waive its right to privacy. PS the last line of this one made me a little melancholy.

23 06 2010
vivisection

Just in – another Glassing for Victoria – is anyone keeping a state by state Glassing Toll? We could make ned kelly pie charts and graphs and things with the collated info.

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/teen-slashed-in-pub-glassing-20100623-yxtv.html

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Being investigated by…..

Detective Senior Constable Andrew Henneken – Gold

An Aussie born cop who models himself on overseas plods.

23 06 2010
vivisection

Possibly New Zealand plods with a name like Henneken?

23 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think he droped the I to anglisise the name.

23 06 2010
citizen74

I have oft thought that when a bogan takes umbrage at being filmed, for example, after having its day in court, it does so as a means of showing what a “hard c#nt” it is to friends and family; all of whom will be watching the news that evening having been told to do so by the very same bogan who put on such a display of violent righteous indignation in the first place.

23 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I get it now. Peter is one of those internet bullies. I finally get to ask an internet bully this: what makes you do it Peter?

23 06 2010
Antosha

Speaking of clashes – the locals were very arggy bargy on the metro today. I have arrived at the office all flustered. It seems the locals do not respond at all well to 30C+ temperatures.

If only there were some media they could take their frustrations out on!

23 06 2010
Sten

Sounds like my esteemed self. The only time you won’t hear me complain about the weather is winter.

Where is it you hang your hat these days anyway, Antosha?

23 06 2010
Antosha

I have quite a large hat / coat stand just inside the entrace to my humble apartment. In high summer I can deposit all my coats and winter hats into the cupboards. But changes of seasons are quite the inconvenience. One day it can be 25C, then 7C and raining a few hours later.

It makes for a very crowded coat stand!

Seems it will be 30C all this week.. I do hope the locals calm down.. I don’t think I can tolerate another rugby scrum on the metro.

23 06 2010
Antosha

Just getting back to your original question – I am a Muscovite these days Mr Sten…. have been for 3.5 years now.

I happened to be in the Queen Street Mall in Brisbane on 2009 New Years Eve afternoon. I signed on for another year in Moscow after what I saw.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Antosha

I am so jealous…really…

24 06 2010
Sten

Despite what I said previously, I too am jealous as hell. They’ve even got Bogans of a sort in Russia… they’re called Skopniks.

25 06 2010
Sten
24 06 2010
Sten

Wow… wish I had the guts to live there. Probably not as bad as it was back in the ’90s, but still…

24 06 2010
Sten

Oh, and now I have a certain 1979 Dschinghis Khan song stuck in my head… awesome.

24 06 2010
Sten

Back to your original post, now knowing where you live… I could only see 30+ days in Moskva as a wonderful thing… all those comely young Russian lasses wearing as little as they possibly can.

Sigh…

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

HAHAHAHA

I will go there one day, even if it is in an urn. 😀

24 06 2010
Sten

I might end up there some time next year. A friend and I may be planning a European rampage. Should such a trip eventuate, you can count on thousands of photos.

24 06 2010
Antosha

Pinky,

you, Sten, Mr Hunter, Fi and all the gang are most welcome!

And there are plenty of cabbages here for Peter to enjoy!

24 06 2010
Sten

Hey, cheers Antosha!

24 06 2010
Antosha

I tell you what Sten…. it is unbelievable..

Try working in an office of over 1,000… where the average age is about 25.

Poor Antosha…

24 06 2010
Sten

Wow… not sure I could handle that, Antosha… especially after my previous job… I had the largest office on the floor, to myself, at the opposite end of the building to the main office. Talk about peace and quiet, plus the perk of being able to keep my eyes glued to TBL and other entertainments instead of doing actual work.

25 06 2010
Antosha

But the sights in our office in the summer young Sten…. my word…

Yes.. it can get a little rowdy… but dear God… the sights of Moscow in summer…

* shudder *

25 06 2010
miss dahl

You must tell us all about it …

25 06 2010
Sten

Indeed, miss dahl.

25 06 2010
Antosha

I fear my mere words would not do some of these fine specimens justice..

25 06 2010
Sten

Don’t worry… I’ve read The Exile extensively. I feel prepared for whatever goes on there.

23 06 2010
Brimstone

Tabloid Magazine by The Living End just played on my pod… strange

23 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

TBL again beautifully illuminating the conundrum wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a brand label with a core of solid sh!t that is the bogue.
people who don’t get it make baby jesus cry.

23 06 2010
Pandabater

The contradictory nature of the the New Age Bogan is all encompassing. Self awareness is not one of his strengths. The inability to recognise his own boganity is proof of it. Safe under his hoodie of delusion he can justify anything he does/buys/wears/drinks/vilifies/glasses etc & bask in his own awsomeness.

23 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

big day on TBL. dredged up a fiona protest, some ASCII graphics (empathy Urb. I crashed a roflcopter in here a while back. tragic loss), couple of shots at the authors and some burning bush in reply, CM bordering on the lucid (wtf?), peter cockneck outed as a facebooker, some celebrity goss…
busy.
but like, quiet at the same time…
hmm
bowen has BOWENWOOD written in massive white letters on a big water tank on a hill approaching the town. the reason being Baz Lurman (yes i know it has an H in there somewhere, I just never know where) made a film there. which no-one watched. I have mentioned this previously, but I feel it bears reiterating as just the saddest most pathetic thing I have ever seen.

breaking news

white people are being harrassed on “border security”!
yes. we were shocked too until it began to appear they were gay.
then it all made sense

23 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@ Chubby & Edna:

How’s Bowen? Is it alright, or does it need to lose two letters and gain an enema?

23 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

and can we PLEASE leave the “wogan” bullsh!t for the facebook site?

racial epithets are bogan

f¤ckt@rds

23 06 2010
Peter

Ask James Hunter#30

– James’ Revision Quiz.

James
Hunter,
a
few
questions:

1/ How soon after a contestant has won a TV reality/talent show is it permissible to lose all interest in them?

1.4.3/ Are the lives of architects and designers as relentlessly well-organised and tasteful as their homes that are endlessly featured in the Sunday supplement magazines?

7/What is the best biscuit to dunk in a cup of coffee?

112/ What is to blame for celebrity chefs?

– 56/ Chips or fries? Rudd or Gillard?

5/ Name the difference between a Pinter and a panto.

698029/ By how much should you expect any large-scale construction project or computer system modernisation scheme to go over budget? (not a Government funded project).

Grades

0-3 questions answered correctly. Congratulations you’ve passed! You have achieved an A Grade.
3-4 questions answered correctly. Congratulations you’ve passed! You Have achieve an A* Grade.
4-5 questions correctly. Congratulations you’ve passed! You have achieved an A** Grade.
5-6 questions correctly. Congratulations you’ve passed! You have achieve an A** Version 2.0 Grade.
7 questions answered correctly. Congratulations you have achieved the highest, most coveted, rarest grade of all. You have achieved a fail. Well done you!

24 06 2010
Sten

Pee-ter,

If you’re going to post here, it would help if you’d stop huffing contact adhesive, you whelk-brained man-child.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
So thats what does it.
Peter Peter the Peter Eater is using contact as a n apetiser.
Maybe he is using it as a lubricant or Petey is it libricunt ?

25 06 2010
Sten

Further cogitation has lead me to posit that Pee-ter’s strange behaviour can be explained by him possessing the brain (or at least brain function) of an actual whelk.

Even glue-sniffers have some modicum of intelligence.

23 06 2010
James Hunter

Petey bub
do you realy believe that ordinarily sensible people will bother responding to these verbal ramblings that are like some primitive call from a sick animal?

Simon, Bring the .50 caliber, I have an animal to put down.

24 06 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter, the reoccurring theme in the majority of your responses involves anger, guns and violence coupled with and driven by a seething resentment. Cool it, pops, cool it.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Petey Petey, The Petey Eater,
at least I am aware.
Ha de ha ha Giggle burp,
Pass the metho

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

…and the award for the most pathetic excuse for a typo goes to…
Peter Cockneck!
*applause*
Peter’s use of the ‘writing in special needs’ defence impressed the judging panel so much they have added the “insult fail” award. this takes petey out to an epic lead in the pale insult stakes, leading some to speculate he may actually be attempting some sort of open misére strategy in the lead up to next month’s “poor misguided fool” contest. certainly his continued appellation of Urban Dictionary words would reinforce this idea.

24 06 2010
Peter

Yawn…

24 06 2010
vivisection

Petey, you been up all night writing love songs and ramblings again? No wonder you are tired.

24 06 2010
SD

Peter has suspended the blog after the Austrian Cabbage disaster so as to concentrate on demonstrating his poetic prowess in the forums of TBL. So yes he is tired – and TBL can expect a barrage.

24 06 2010
vivisection

But I was planning Mackeral for dinner, what will I have as a side???

24 06 2010
SD

Peter?!

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@turnips
we passed by bowen. the sign was enough to drive us on.
near townsville for a while now. a soul sucking hole if ever there was one, alas chubby has much history here and edna is perfecting her eye roll as we tour around with chubby bellowing “that’s where I…” and “jeepers! that wasn’t there 20 years ago” etc

24 06 2010
Mandi

I was born there 23 years ago, and christened in a cyclone. Went back a few months ago and I quite liked it, if you want to see some good bogan action go to a Crocs basketball match

24 06 2010
Antosha

Or a Cowboys game !

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

mixed emotions.
this is firming as an historic day for Strayan pollytics.
Alas and Hurrah.

an abject lesson for K Rudd, from which miss fiona could learn a trick,
to wit:
it’s not effective communication if no-one understands what you are saying.

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Well, it IS a marvellous and historic day for women in Australia.

Stand up, Julia Gillard.

I bet Tony Abbott will be packin’ his dacks…couldn’t happen to a nicer person 🙂

24 06 2010
martin

Haha. Looks like that $700k is going to be tough to pay off on his opposition salary. Man, $700k. So much for being conservative. His house would not be worth much more than that. And that’s at today’s supposedly ( or not ) bubble prices.

Does anyone know is Gillard from the left or the right faction? I hope she dumps the firewall.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Are you serious? Gillard is more left than Karl Marx! But with Right (and right) support… Interesting.

24 06 2010
martin

Thanks Fiona for an actual useful contribution.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. You’re welcome. You may refer to me for all manner of analysis on all manner of subjects. This is just one of the benefits of a higher degree in the Classics.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Fi,

Think James not H is the one to answer these questions. Surely Classic’s isn’t politics.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. What’s “Classic’s”? Also, please explain how changing beds and bedpans is an “intellectual” pursuit…

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Fi,

I think it’s more than that. What about cannulas, lines, injections (IM and the rest), wound managment, midwif, gerries, psych, medications, anatomy, physiology, cardiology, chest sounds, blood sounds, xray, theatre, ICU, NICU, and the list goes on.

So please, go shove your classics up your bum, because you are ignorant. Nurses run the medical side of the hospital. If it weren’t for people like me, you wouldn’t have been able to have your boobs done and hips shrunk. You probably wouldn’t have had your prev. disease injections, you’d probably have choked on your nannies tit.

It’s people like you that make me want to walk slower to the buzzer. But as I take my job seriously and my oath of ‘do no harm’ I still hurry to botox faced ‘people’ like you.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster, Fi’s just going for a wind up.
personally i woul;d rather have a nurse, even a five 2 one put my pic line in then some scruffy intern .
I have 1 venesection per month 1 5 hr infusion and two blood test per month.
what do you think about having a port put in ? and can they take the venisection out through it?

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I know JH and I get so angry. I don’t want to bite but I think of how hard I worked to make people comfortable and to be told that my knowledge, skills and experience is nothing more than bed pans.

I was in palliative care, so comments like that make me rise up…and Fi knows this.

What can ya do? I’m 1/2 french, my gene’s make me do it 😉

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Your jeans suit you ,quite tightly, held too.
Mwah

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. You’ve described a series of tasks that require no more than a modest command of language and probably less than basic numeracy.

All quite achievable by a person of less than average intelligence (as your qualification attests) and mere vocational training.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Fi

Medicine is intellectual.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Medical research is. Nursing isn’t.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

nursing is medicine. Ever heard of Nursing Practitioners.

Anyway, I don’t try and have conversations with people who aren’t open minded enough to realise that they can’t possibly know everything.

24 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. But it’s not medical research, is it?

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@ Fi

True, these careers and tasks within them may not always necessarily command a great degree of intellectual rigour.

However, they do require something that cannot be conferred by the confines of academe: compassion and empathy. Grand as it is to have a supreme grasp of scholastic classicism, it requires a high level of emotional intelligence to be in the service of improving the amenity and wellbeing of humanity when they are ill, vulnerable and disabled, regardless of occupational status, or educational level to attain thus.

Most of us here (myself included) can appreciate your font of knowledge. But a Higher Degree in the Classics does not afford automatic wisdom. I am in solidarity with P!nky in defence of the field we work and study in. I have would have hoped that your learnings would have allowed sufficient insight to appreciate this work.

25 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
7,8,9,7,8,
you can still reel them in !!
Good thing long line troll fishing is not allowed !
I would blow you a Mwah, except it may make you shudder !could not have that, especially if I am not there to enjoy it.

25 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Thank you BoT, you have agreed with my point exactly.

24 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I’ve spent the morning at Parliament House P!inky, watching events unfold. Heading back there now.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

James,(not me)
Listen as well , wont you.

24 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Indeed I was, JH. One thing I heard from a Liberal Party insider is that Tony Abbott is “fudging his dacks” today. And that is a direct quote.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

James (not me),
Tony Rabbit Fudging his daks ,,, that is an instant classic.
Be even greater if he fudged his bike lycras ????
Bahahahaha

24 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Or his budgie smugglers…

24 06 2010
James Hunter

James,
I think this has reached the stage of “too much information” !!

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ James not H

Who will you be voting for?

If you have answered this previously can you point to where and I’ll read it.

Cheers

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
well I am a swinging voter but esentially a labour voter by inclination.
If your talking Federal and labour verses conservative(liberal, then it would have to be Labour. The thought of Fony Any man who is against abortion and against fair and reasonable work place laws is dangerous. In his case it is compounded by his being from a cranky religion Rabbitt running the country would be hard to stomach.
Tonight I watched Julia Gillard on the Kerry O’Brian show and as is her wont she handled herself exceptionally well.
I just hope she gets them over the line
On the “The Punch” site today was gillards comment to Julie Fiscup. Fiscup in question time asked how did Gillard feel about knifing rudd. The reply was,”Julie Bishop , the real question is how do you find it working for your THIRD Leader. Ka Boom
Hope that make my position clear ? if not , Im in the study on the typists chair !!!!

25 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Not sure at this point P!nky. Don’t much like Abbott – I was right behind Turnbull though. If the Libs roll Abbott for Turnbull I could get behind that. Otherwise, I will be looking to a smaller party this election. In Queensland they are forming a party called the Republican Democrats which, if its turns out to not be a bogan party, I would consider (if they even run in my electorate). For those who straddle the centre-right it is not looking like there are many options in the upcoming election.

24 06 2010
martin

She used to work for Slater and Gordon. It might be difficult to reconcile Bogan Bribe Watch with her but that’s one angle.

I can’t resist. Rangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

BoT,
well said.
asside from the content, SEE you can say something succinctly.
My English lecturer in business communications always used to praise anyone who could say in ten words what the other took 100 pluss to do.

24 06 2010
Antosha

Very good point Mr Hunter.

I hate ramblers.. Mr KRudd used to lose me with some of his strange sayings..

What is “Due Season” anyway???

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
Due season?
In what contex? Due process I understand Due season , does not ring any bells for either myself or mrsH

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

The Chaser wondered aloud if that was Chanukah.

25 06 2010
pb

the chaser’s in due season song was pretty good too.

25 06 2010
Antosha

On many an occassion the illustrious chairman Rudd would assure the gathered media throng that a pertinent issue was going to be dealt with “In due season”

Suspect he could have used “In due course”, or “In the near future” but no… he had to use silly phrases that no one had ever constructed before…

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

There’s a truly stupendous anthology of work by Don Watson, in exploring the mind-numbing and soul-destroying pervasion of weasel words, management-speak, pollie-speak and bureaucratese into everyday language. This is different to “big” words or purple prose, which at least can be poetic and mellifluous to the ear. Unlike weasel words, of which certainly aren’t.

The titles in this trilogy are Death Sentence, Weasel Words and most recently, Bendable Learnings. The author suggests that with the latter, that you read the cited phrases aloud, just to perceive how ridiculous the words used sound. KRudd is a master of this verbiage and you know it has truly reached plague proportions when the boganry start to enunciate these same words, like when football players and coaches (of any code) couch their phrases in these terms, albeit with clumsy effect.

Here’s a link to the website for more information and laffs.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

I love Don Watson. Truly, madly, deeply.

I remember a lunch at which he was speaking when, following the applause which accompanied his arrival at the microphone, he opened with “Thank you for self-actualising me”.

But he had me at “hello”.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
cc that to Peter.

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@fiona
does heat destroy psilocin?
it’s a contentious issue in some circles…

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Chubster,
eat them raw , for quicker effects put in drink blender with some favourite hoock and blitz first.

24 06 2010
miss dahl

Mushrooms containing psilocybin and psilocin are available fresh or dried and are typically taken orally. Psilocin cannot be inactivated by cooking or freezing preparations. Thus, they may also be brewed as a tea or added to other foods to mask their bitter flavor. The effects of psilocybin and psilocin, which appear within 20 minutes of ingestion, last approximately 6 hours.

24 06 2010
Sten

Mmm… I’ll be partaking in that particular delicacy this weekend…

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

Lucky… grr 😉

24 06 2010
Sten

I’m stoked. My friend’s crop didn’t come up as well as he’d hoped, but I discovered purely by chance that the certain chef friends of mine also grow them!

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten
aww you don’t live in Melbourne do you? 😉

25 06 2010
Dave

Tis a very good crop this year

25 06 2010
Sten

No, Pinky, I live in the most vaccuous (sp?) over-grown country town in the world.

ie Sydney.

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Sydney, like my native Perth, is a great place to be a spiv.

In both places, it is considered the height of poor manners if you don’t talk about the potential value of your property by the second sentence after being introduced to someone, especially with an out-of-towner.

25 06 2010
Sten

Yeah… because we all know the correct and polite first question to ask is “So, what do you do?”, with the unspoken rider “to be able to afford to live wherever you do.”

Sydney and Perth… twin sisters tragically separated by geography, but brought together by avarice and superficiality. Really, I weep for this poor country someetimes.

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@martin
a ranga
a woman
and a migrant.
a proud day for so many.

24 06 2010
martin

She’s Welsh too. I thought she was a Scot. Cool. I’m a good part Welshie.

Her boyfriend is a hairdresser and I reckon there’s a good chance he might be bi. So there you go.

Great day.

24 06 2010
SD

Over at Bolt’s rantings some one has already prononced Julia to be “A tough childless female communist” – so there you go. The tough, the childless, the females and the communists – hitherto sorely neglected -are thus all now represented.

24 06 2010
SD

duh, pronounced.

24 06 2010
martin

As opposed to a souless, zionist, fuedalist, exxtreme capitalist. That being Bolt himself and the Liberals. Wow, tough choice. I wonder if Piers Akerman might give a more balanced view. *Fiona LOL*.

24 06 2010
vivisection

yaay!

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I hope we hear less about “Family Values” and “Working Families”.

Even though those narratives make up the status quo, why should they hold so much bloody sway? What about the rest of us—be it through choice or circumstance—for whom those values are not applicable? Who is to say that the nuclear family is the be-all-to-end-all?

I sincerely hope that Gillard, in not being a fully franchised member of that indifferentiated mass, will allow the minority voices to be heard and have meaningful representation.

24 06 2010
martin

I agree Turnips. These so called “working families” have had more than their fair share for 15+ years now. It’s time to give the youngins and everyone else a break and create a more balanced system where the winners aren’t just decided by how much money they had to “invest” before the year 2000 or by simply being a baby boomer.

Fingers crossed that Gillard has a spine and isn’t just another machievellian piece of shit that cares for nothing more than retaining power. She doesn’t look like it but I guess I thought of that about Rudd back in 2007.

If I were PM I’d just do what was required and if Australia didn’t like it then it can go fuck itself and I could just get a job in the private sector. For Rudd it was looking more and more like pure vanity.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ SD

And so it beings. Lets slag the lady off by using no children angle. Cause we all know how commies feel about kiddies. 😉

24 06 2010
miss dahl

There is a section of induhviduals out there who slag off the childless. I have had the misfortune to meet a number of them, myself. In this country it seems that having produced (one’s own) offspring automatically bumps one to the front of the queue for everything from general opinions about celebrity spottings to running the country. For example, I recall the excitement over the airwaves when Sarah Palin was first mentioned by name here. The fact that she had 5 kids somehow made her look and sound perfect for presidential election to the local radio nobs. Never mind that she could barely string a sentence together without peppering every sentence with woeful teen-speak and that she proudly proclaimed that she could see Russia from her backroom window, and the truckloads of unfiltered rubbish that she happily dribbles on about given half a chance. No, apparently for the these types, you ain’t anyone, unless you’ve squuezed out a ltter of brats and breastfed them till they qualified for car license.

24 06 2010
SD

Miss Dahl, the single greatest accomplishment for a woman is to pop out kids – because you know there are so few of us around.

The reality is if you are single or coupled andchildless your only job is to cough up the taxes – it’s not a constituency that it by any means courted anywhere in the world. One doesn’t mind the taxes but it’s these tired tropes of being barren or being “non-working” if you don’t have a few brats around that are offensive.

24 06 2010
martin

For the bogan. It’s their way of marking their territory. Seeing as they are incapable of leaving their mark on the world through achievements, it resorts to breeding, like a dog pissing on a tree.

24 06 2010
Antosha

I can see Russia from my backroon window too 🙂

24 06 2010
Sten

Yep, we eat ’em. 😀

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten
nom nom nom

25 06 2010
Sten

Hahahahahaha.

Yeah. 🙂

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Who’s this Bolt nutter?

24 06 2010
pb

the worst hack of them all. best to remain ignorant to his shriekings.

24 06 2010
vivisection

Pretend you have never heard his name and carry on as you were.

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@martin
cool!
I’m welsh (and french) too!
and I have ginger pubes!
and I’m a lefty libtard.
finally I feel represented

24 06 2010
martin

I got French in me too!

I’m a bit libtard. Except for when it comes to immigration. In which case I’m a bogan.

24 06 2010
vivisection

Whats his name, Jean-Claude? And how can you type so well with him in you? Boom Tish! That’s for you JH!

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Chubby

I’m 1/2 French 1/2 English. Sometime I hate myself…

24 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

So you don’t know whether to fight or run away Pinky.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Something like that Si. HAHAHAHA I have both physical traits as well. Little (5’3 on a good day) but sadly thanks to my English heritage, can’t eat whatever I want. I also have dark hair and dark eyes but very much a traditional French complexion. I also have a love for wanting to start a revolution and despise government. 😉

24 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I have Scots and Polish way back so that makes me pretty stubborn.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
With you, Im Scots X 4 although my mother had the dark hair and olive complection, we always teased her that there was a bit of Spanial in there. after all thousands of Spanials from the amada were taken in by the welsh, the irish and the scots , anything rather then let the english capture them.

24 06 2010
Sten

Ah, a woman after my own heart… only I’m 100% Pom and can eat whatever I bloody well like.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Sten

Your lucky. But I fear turning into a ball like my english grandma. HAHAHA She only 4’3 and round. Ewww.

😉

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
Grand ma 4’3″ in every dimension. !!
do you know the song by Marty Rhone “A Mean Pair Of Jeans”
It just sort of wafted into my head !

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

JH

I don’t know the song, but your discription fits my grandma to a tee. HAHAHAHA

Will search for song. 😉

27 06 2010
Sten

Nice work, James. I’ve always had a strange love of the word “waft”.

24 06 2010
Sten

Oh… I see. I thought you were referring to the very narrow taste in food ascribed to my fellow Englishmen. In that case, well, I eat whatever I bloody well like, and it shows.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

It is a bit dull isn’t it. 🙂

25 06 2010
Sten

Apparently so. But since I have not been to India before, I would have to say the best curry I ever had was at a restaurant in Brick Lane.

I think times are changing though, as more young British people than ever before experience parts of the world outside of the whitey-sphere. Most of the Poms I’ve met in recent years have had a pretty well-developed culinary pallete.

27 06 2010
pinkelstien

@ Sten

That is very true. I am thinking more of my Grandma’s offering. She would never dream of having a curry. She’s the one missing out. She is 85 so you know… 😉

27 06 2010
Sten

True, true. Neither of my grandparents would eat a curry either… granddad eats very little except cheese (cheddar, of course).

Come to think of it, my parents (especially my Dad) have pretty bland tastes as well.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon that combination of traits is from an english/italian mix ! You know the italian tank ? it had 4 forward gears and 1 reverse gear. the reverse gear was in case they got attacked from behind ?
!

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’m half Italian, the other half being of English descent.

I’d like to believe that I have the best of both worlds: tasteful with flair and passionate yet cool in response.

Woggy where it’s useful (like food), but not too much Skip to become uncouth.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Turnips

We have marathon meals in my family. Dinner takes 6 hours to eat. LOL Christmas takes two days. 😉 French food is my favourite of all, but I love all foods except fast food…ewww

25 06 2010
miss dahl

Mealtimes should be an event. It can take hours to prepare a meal and then having people gobble it down within 5-10 minutes is such a disappointment! I’m speaking on behalf of the cook. I’ll allow that breakfast and lunch can be economical (timewise) because of the work aspect factored in, but dinner should be all about good food, good wine and good conversation, in my book.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ miss dahl

I totally agree. We have a strict no teev over dinner policy except on Friday nights which is very relaxed. I can spend all day making dinner (when I have time) and enjoy watching everyone enjoy it.
Mr Pinky cooks on the weekend and will start cooking for Sunday on Saturday. We love our food.

I love to cook.

24 06 2010
Shirley M

I’m 1/5th haiku on my mother’s side.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Isnt haiku some sort of Austrian Cabbage dish ?

24 06 2010
Pandabater

I’m half drunk

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Pandabeater,
Whats wrong with you man, go finish the job !

24 06 2010
martin

Huh? Jean-Claude Van Damme? He’s Belgian.

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

aaaanyway…

@TBL is there a self referential link missing on ‘freedom of speech’?
or is it because you’re talking about actual freedom of speech and not bogue freedom of speech?

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

does miranda devine blog?
I couldn’t find one.
that might be interesting in a “that’s not very interesting” kind of way.

ok I’ll stop now.

24 06 2010
24 06 2010
Sten

Couldn’t find one, eh Chubby? I’d go looking for one for you, but, eh…

Randi Devine… goddamn rabid attack-dog of the Right.

Though she did once write a piece defending underage drinking. Had to agree with her on that.

24 06 2010
pb

miranda makes sense about twice a year, given she writes about 100 columns a year, that’s a strike rate of 2%

24 06 2010
James Hunter

PB,
2 %
wow thats about what you get from direct marketing.

24 06 2010
martin

I noticed one of her last ones was about how Gen Y have still got the Anzac spirit going because some of them are going over there and dying for oil. That was awesome.

Oh well, I shouldn’t complain, I like driving, well I don’t fancy the driving bit much, unless it’s at night and no one is in my way. But I do like transportation.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

no don’t Chubby

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

…except to say Vale Kevin Rudd.
it was fun.

24 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Where’s Benji? 😦

24 06 2010
SD

Duh, bogans at work congratulating themselves on being in a country which is the first to have a woman premier….history lessons in order.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

SD,
First things first JG is a Prime Minister not a Premier
That asside, you are drawing a long bow to make such a small amount of sense.
If you are refering to Thatcher and Helen Clarke then remember that they are/were from the other side of politics.
If refering to Merkle and Ghandi or then you have two compasionate successful people.
So what sort of sense are you trying to make.
Sri Lanka or Iceland , not much to critise there either.

24 06 2010
SD

I used Premier as shorthand for women leaders in general.

My point was the bogues at work appear to be unaware of Thatcher and co.

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Thatcher was indirectly responsible for giving the chav underclass a real gee-up, in dismantling many of the useful aspects of a well-ordered society, into a race-to-the-bottom, each-person-unto-themselves rabble of dysfunctionally individualistic consumers.

It was her who declared that there was “no such thing as society”; no doubt the aforementioned scenario would’ve panned out anyway with the rise of neoliberalism, she simply spurred it on by referring agency to those who really should have been kept at close quarters to the welfare state and its support systems.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

BoT,
She probably sowed the seeds for home grown terrorism, a whole new underclass who unlike the previous one did not believe it was their “Station” in life.

24 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Also, Thatcher and Clark came from different sides of the political divide: the former was a Conservative, the latter from NZ Labour.

27 06 2010
Sten

She also loudly proclaimed that the class struggle was real (no shit), and that her and hers were going to be on the winning side.

I tell ya, Turnips, the day she dies, I’m throwing a massive party, and will joyfully burn her in effigy.

Damn, I hate Thatcher.

27 06 2010
pinkelstien

Make it a party Sten. I’m with you. She was a monster.

27 06 2010
Sten

As it happens, we might not have to wait very long.

27 06 2010
James Hunter

Sam,
The first time I was over there was in 88 and I do not think I met a single person who liked her or respected her. Every one from taxi drivers ,academics, industry representatives and engineers, all absolutely hated her. Makes one wonder who voted for her !

24 06 2010
Sten

She was responsible for my parents giving up on Old Blighty and moving us here.

The only good thing she did was kick the bloody Argies out of the Falklands.

24 06 2010
Antosha

LOL @ Sten… Maggie did love to kick an Argie up the date didn’t she!

Splendid !

24 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
MrsH and I were in B.A. on way back from business in Brazil and we found the restarunts staff had no english menues and could not understand our speach.
All because they thought we were ENGLISH
Next day we went out with our Aussie and Kanga lapel pins and wow, every one ,even in the very same places, had menues and could speak english.!
So it still rankled over there,’ bout 8/10 years ago.

In public loos ,the person with the cleaning franchise makes money by selling toilet paper to you when you go in. Lousey cheap paper with see through patches . Point was though we worked it out that it was cheaper to use the local paper money to wife ones bum then buy the toilet paper. !

25 06 2010
Antosha

I used to work here with a bloke who was born in Peru who used to swear by Argie steaks.

As a Queenslander, I think we do a pretty good steak too.

Thoughts / comparisons? I have never been to the Americas so am curious..

I would ask Peter but I don’t want to distract him from his latest literary work in progress.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Ah, steak. My specialty subject.

Sth America loves its beef, especially Brazil, Argentina, Uraguay and Paraguay. Unlike a lot of Australian, Canadian and US beef, Sth American product is almost exclusively grassfed, so you get a more flavoursome steak, but far more variable eating quality/tenderness. Immediate pre- and post-slaughter handling is also very different, and this can also impact negatively on eating quality.

Qld produces some of the best beef in the world – we have very clean production systems, there’s been massive long-term investment in genetics, nutrition and stress factors which can compromise eating quality and – critically – people actually know how to cook it. A Queensland-grown MSA-graded grassfed steak, flame-grilled medium-rare, is a thing of rare beauty.

Nom, nom, nom…..

PS: Antosha, you should be able to do your own comparison in Russia – it’s the biggest export market for Sth American producing countries, and also imports significant quantities of Australian beef. A fair whack of US and NZ beef there, too.

25 06 2010
Sten

Anyone ever been to one of those Brazilian barbecue places? I went to one down in Darlo and, well, let me put it this way… by the end of the night, I’m pretty sure I was meat drunk… I had the meat-sweats (something to do with all that protein I guess) and I was pretty sure my sinuses were packed with meat.

So yeah, Brazilians know their way around a barbecue.

25 06 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
In Brazil you go to a resturant and sit down, order the Bar b Q and they bring a large empty plate and sit it in fromnt of you. The it starts. the meat is cooked on vertical rotiseries like you see in a kebab shop. the waiter brings the whole skewer over and places the end on the plate and starts to carve untill you ask him to stop. that was lets say beef. about ten minutes later he is bach, with the lamb. ten minutes later with pork, then the chicken. then it all starts again. These meats are whole great roasts. not preslic3ed stuff like the kebab places use.
If you are silly enought to want it there are side dishes and bread and always desert especially red wine /sago pudding.
But yes they sure know how to cook and serve meat

25 06 2010
Sten

Yeah, I know, James. That’s exactly the sort of place I was at. I believe the style of service is called “Rodizio”. It was fantastic stuff, especially the sirloin and pork. The chicken hearts were a bit weird, but I still ate one with no complaints.

25 06 2010
Antosha

There’s a chain here called Goodmans which specialises in Oz beef. They are pretty good.

Will try and source a Sth American steak. I love a good grass fed steak. Grain fed is too marbly for my liking.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Goodmans is supplied by Nippon Meat Packers – ie, you’re almost certainly eating grain-finished Queensland beef fed and killed on the Darling Downs.

I think you have an upmarket series of supermarkets called Alphabet of Taste? They have supply arrangements with Australian and Sth American distributors and, I think, designate country-of-origin in their labelling. That could make tracking down what you’re after easier.

25 06 2010
Sten

They had it coming. Islas Malvinas my arse.

The best thing the UK Government could do is grant Falklanders their independence – while guaranteeing said independence in the event of Argie/Mercosur aggression.

25 06 2010
Antosha

Gotta love it when your Order of Battle reads as:

SAS
SBS
Royal Marines
Parachute Regiment
Royal Gurkha Rifles

The Argies never really had a chance!

Smashing!

and of course.. there’s gas in them there hills! (or oceans.. as the case may be..)

25 06 2010
Sten

I don’t know why they bothered. Nearly their entire air force was annihilated, and they lost the Admiral Belgrano.

And I love how their Spanish ancestors blew the whistle on the Argies’ “cunning plan” to inflitrate and bugger up Gibraltar.

I really have no idea why they insist on taking it back. If they want to raise sheep, they can bloody well do it in Patagonia.

Unless it really is because they think it’ll strengthen their position in taking a slice of Antarctica. Which would be worthless anyway, since nobody is allowed to mine there, or set up industry or anything which would give any kind of economic adventage.

I put it down to sheer post-colonial bloody-mindedness.

25 06 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
Its the Spaniel in them all the ex Spaniel colonies are the same.

25 06 2010
Sten

Mmm… Venezuela is starting to make noises about Guyana these days, and of course, every few years the Spanish start complaining about GIbraltar.

What these cretins fail to realise is that even if the UK acquiesces to their demands, the people living in these actual areas, while ethnically Spanish (except the Falkland Islanders, who are largely of Scottish and Welsh stock), consider themselves to be closer to the UK in a cultural sense.

So really, the decisions should be left to those who have been living there for hundreds of years.

24 06 2010
brad

Heard a good one today-“First we get a Black President,now we,ve got a Female PM,that progress i spose”

25 06 2010
miss dahl

Don’t tell me, it was uttered by either a bogan or a moron.

24 06 2010
SD

The whole world appears to have taken to twitter to declare that “Julia Gillard has deleted Kevin Rudd as a friend on facebook”.

24 06 2010
James Hunter

SO

24 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@James not H the anti anti…
two questions:
1. do you have scandinavian heritage?
b. do you blog?

cheers

25 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

No to both chubs. Parents are Irish migrants and this is about as close as I come to a blog.

25 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

discussions on the falklands bring to mind our own gubmint’s change of heart on the Timor Leste sitchyayshum…
maybe the only decent thing to come out of the howard era.
Timor Gap oil and gas what?

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

TBL

Is there a new post today?

25 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@p!nky
maybe we have to do our own?
maybe we already have…
labour party offers ranga tomboy.
liberal leader soils his smugglers.
mining industry still says they’ll be rooned.
bogans wonder if julia will up the handout to cover a 3D telly (bored with the flat screens Kev bought them).

25 06 2010
James Hunter

Chubster,
Good idea,
Maybe if the regulars had a schedule and took it in turns to do one a week?or even one a month? one a week sounds better.
What about it TBL ??

25 06 2010
vivisection

Or a Bogan Fan Fiction page on the site – where contributors send in short stories featuring their favourite bogans, bogan related incidents and bogan experiences.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Vivi

Excellent idea Vivi!!

Please TBL

25 06 2010
Sten

Love it. Bring it on.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

OK – here’s a burnt offering.

Spotted last night at Brisbane airport – an overweight braless sloven with the personal grooming of a gnu in an overstretched T-shirt with “DRINK TILL YOU WANT ME” on the front. She was screaming at a brattish child named (phonetically) Teeyarneeeeeeee.

25 06 2010
vivisection

No Tombarina, that’s how you spell it.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Vivi, don’t be silly.

My amateurish spelling above clearly suffers from a dearth of Hs. There are very few names which can’t be bogue-enhanced with a liberal sprinkling of Hs. Vhivih, for eg. Nor is there irregular capitalisation or an enlivening graphic element, like a hyphen or apostrophe, as in t’Ohmbah. Or Shir-Lehhh.

25 06 2010
vivisection

Oh like T’hyarhn’Ehe

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

…or Bhagg Ohh’Thurnhips 😛

25 06 2010
vivisection

that’s pretty, sorry pr’tthi

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Much better. Or, b’Ttaaaah.

25 06 2010
miss dahl

Once upon a time, people used to dress for airline travel…

25 06 2010
Sten

Then came JetStar and it’s repulsive ilk.

25 06 2010
Sten

What a cracking first Bogue anecdote (who said it had to be fanfiction?). Indeed, Tombarina, I can picture it now.

Though as far as I can remember, gnus (or Wildebeest as they’re also known – one of my few memories of Old Blighty was seeing the Wildebeest in Woburn Abbey) can actually be quite neat and presentable… in contrast to many Bogues I spot in my perambulations around Shit-nee.

I’ll have to grill my aunt some time soon… she’s got some fantastic stories about the scruffy Bogue harpy who live across the street from her. I do remember they were some eye-opening stories though (as in your eyelids will slam open in abject horror when you hear these sordid tales of boganity).

25 06 2010
vivisection

I have a short story I have written featuring a glorious boguette, I’m not going to paste 12 pages into a comments screen though …

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Couldn’t you read it out like a bedtime story and Twitvid it? Shirl could sing the opening and closing credits.

It could be a warmup practice run for Bogues On Ice: The Musical Spectacular.

25 06 2010
Sten

Maybe there should be an affiliated spin-off of TBL – true Bogue Stories or somesuch.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

She really was an appalling yakbeast.

At the time, I was exhausted and beyond the reaches of humour, but I actually doubled back to confirm this sighting.

Funnier/worse were the flashes of horror on the faces of passing males as they absorbed the full import of the invitation/threat on the shirt. You could actually see them making mental notes to give up the grog, just to be on the safe side.

25 06 2010
vivisection

I get int trouble from Mr Viv for backtracking or pointing discretely at at Bogue sightings. He fears them and worries i will be glassed.

So i usually settle for mumbled narrations of what i see – usually something like “Christ did you see that Ed Hardy shirt,tracksuit panted,cretin with the knocked up , tangerine, bra-less scrubber in the bedazzled tank top with rat-tailed , pickpocketting, pierced toddler in tow….”

25 06 2010
Tombarina

Hey – another business opp: Bogue Safaris.

Paying customers are escorted through bogan-rich regions so that they can ogle, mesmerised and appalled in equal measure, at the full glory of the bogue in its natural habitat – and all from the safety of a Prius or other relatively sustainable type of vehicle.

It’s like swimming with sharks from the safety of a cage. Or a hybrid vehicle.

25 06 2010
Sten

That sounds like a fine idea, Tombarina, but I fear the game wardens would need to be armed, left potential clients realise they’re looking in the mirror and get stroppy about it.

25 06 2010
vivisection

Doesn’t Your mother deserve a Bogan Safari this Mother’s Day? From the safety of our steel reinforced, glass proof Prius, see the Bogues tussle to get free Massive Cans of Mother from our faux Black Thunder Exhibit.

See the Bogues glass each other at the EOFY Ed Hardy Sales Outlet Sale – they’ll kill each other for Massive Savings.

But it’s not all fun, our experts offer educational games for the children. Bogue Spotting, Glass Evading, Pin the earing into the bogue toddler. Not enough, taunt a wild Bogue using our in car shredding machine and Pink Tickets, see them follow like lemmings when they hear Kings of Leon….

25 06 2010
Pandabater

Tomba, great idea but normally only bogans go on an organised tour & having non-self aware bogans observing bogans might result in some sort of bogan awareness vortex that could destroy ciivilisation as we know it.

25 06 2010
Tombarina

IT’S A WINNER!

I hadn’t even thought about this as a Mother’s Day option, but you’re right – the possibilities are endless. Tour would have to include a run through the Tiger Airways section at any domestic airport, plus a Westfield food court.

Bogues are quite seasonal, too. We’d need to consider charging a premium for safaris during the spring racing carnival, in the runup to the peak wedding season (Saturday Night Special Viewings: Hen’s Nights) and during Sexpo.

25 06 2010
vivisection

Pandabater, thats the beauty of it all – the bogue recognises itself during the tour – at the end we send in someone who is dressed in a long leather jacket – matrix style – we offer the newly aware bogue 2 pills – Red to forget all they saw and remain as they are, Blue to go on with the knowledge they have been bogue, but want to change.

Naturally the red kill them.

25 06 2010
Sten

Okay, the dam has broken, and torrents of laughter have emanated from the breach in this armchair social commentator.

Faux Black Thunder Exhibit… brilliant work, Viv.

Just as long as the safari isn’t 144 months interest-free.

25 06 2010
vivisection

It could have a Running with the Bogues at the Myer Stocktake sales – just like Pamplona!

25 06 2010
Pandabater

Re running of the Bogues, instead of carrying a rolled up newspaper you have to carry a store gift card & make it out alive.

25 06 2010
vivisection

Or the last quarter price size 16 Allanah Hill hideous feathery, frou frou, french silk pink frock.

25 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Whilst clutching an intact 3d TV.

25 06 2010
vivisection

and two children

25 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Without spilling a drop of their Boost Juice.

25 06 2010
Pandabater

Ear-splitting screaming, awake since 3-33am, hyped on sugar children, Deisel & Monhtahnnna

25 06 2010
Sten

That shirt would have me thinking the same thing. And I drink at least twice as much beer as the average Czech, so it’d be no mean undertaking for me to heed that warning!

That said, even if I have had sixteen schooners, I still know a swamp donkey or a psycho hose-beast when I see one.

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Unfortunately, I need not look too far for stories about the rool loife bogans, for in amongst my family, there are some number of them. I try to keep a safe distance as best as I can and I’m grateful that I’ve been inoculated against virus of the spirit and soul.

It ain’t fiction for me. I could reel ’em off without having to prevail upon my fertile imagination!

25 06 2010
Sten

I’m still thinking about that damn T-shirt… on the one hand, I’m repressing gales of laughter, on the other, I internally weep for all concerned.

Then there’s the other aspect: presumably these shirts are mass-produced (in Bali, methinks)… I shall have to see if I can observe one in the wild and follow up with a True Bogue Story.

25 06 2010
miss dahl

Could there possibly be enough alcoholic beverage in any place to warrant that? I must mention though that today I was watching the tv and happened upon an attractive, middle aged Parisian woman discussing the benefits of good grooming, good dressing etc with her equally attractive middle aged ex-patriate Irish friend. They mentioned that such attention to these details was important in life, and for the purposes of seduction. My point is, how do SO MANY harridans like the aforementioned t-shirt wearer, get to the process of seduction without the obvious charms of the Parisienne on the tv?

25 06 2010
vivisection

They take their teeth out?

25 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bottle of Bourbon?

25 06 2010
martin

Bogans wonder if they should support Abbott who’s going to kick the reffos butts or Joolia who’s going to kick the miners butts, but not as much as Kev was. But that’s good coz the rich people media says that was bad.

Neither of them offer relief from the hordes of migrants coming in the front door, except maybe a little empathy and lip service from Abbott. But Abbott likes his work choices but the bogan likes his overpaid dummie’s job.

What a conundrum for the bogan. And everyone else for that matter.

Personally I say we need a whole new party. The Stable Population Party of Australia is the most appropriate.

25 06 2010
martin

Ergh, there was meant to be a strikethrough over “rich people”. Can’t do HTML it seems Bleh

25 06 2010
martin

Oh, I used for the first post and for the second.

25 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

maybe the pace of recent events has forced an urgent rewrite.
maybe they’re busy with another radio play after the success of the Blow Parade.

25 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Chubby

“…radio play after the success of the Blow Parade.” What is this you speak of?

25 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Two of The Chasers, Andrew Hansen and Chris Taylor, have produced a radio serial mockumentary of musical artist histories.

Very hilarious. Love the Putney Curries (their mock sponsor) jingles and the song “Corgi Scum”, in the profiled punk band in the year of 1975, The Fatcocks.

25 06 2010
Sten

On an entirely unrelated note (which will disappear like a fart into the tornado of other unrelated notes), I’ve just this second coined an axiom I see fit to flog to death… “Truth is what facts become when they die”.

Thank you, Trashmedia Kraken!

8 07 2010
Fat Tony

I could not agree more. Universities would make Socrates swallow
hemlock again if he came around to lecture. They are not for intellectuals
by intellectuals teaching about the sciences, arts , law and engineering
disciplines but rather the holy dollar. I once boasted about by
uni training now I prefer just to do my work.

Most students these days I would not want to graduate with
as guilty by association would come through. I did a IT
and Law degree and I thought that most of the studies centered
around modern world with little to do with anything before WWII.
Short attention spans, no wisdom, money grabbing fools.
The human race is doomed if we continue to put such dregs
to positions of power rather than levels of ridicule and scorn
which is more deservi

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