#149 – Homophobia

17 06 2010

The bogan will tell you it is open and tolerant. To scratch the surface of this claim, however, is to uncover pure, 24 carat bullshit. When challenged in an argument, the bogan will search its vocabulary for a stinging riposte, fail, and settle for a synonym of ‘homosexual’. In bogan circles, this is as good as gold. The safety-conscious should note that synonym for homosexual has been used before every known case of glassing in Australia. The bogan will use similar terminology when in a state of confusion or awkwardness about something it sees as a threat, or doesn’t fully understand – whether that’s someone being smart, expressive, refined, or in any way diverging from suburban boganic orthodoxy. If the bogan doesn’t like something, it’s for pooftas, because the bogan doesn’t like pooftas or things that pooftas like. So during the bad times, when the bogan needs help in an argument, or merely comfort in unfamiliar circumstances, homophobia is there. The bogan male likes homophobia.

While bogan females may give more of an impression of being tolerant of different sexualities, do not be fooled. Its enthusiastic pelvis-grinding and occasional attention-hungry pashing on dancefloors is primarily an attempt to increase their appeal to heterosexual bogan males. Any approaches by genuine lesbians will be met with the same horror a bogan male would regard a gay male’s advance.

There are some notable exceptions to the bogan’s homophobia – gays who have been provided defacto non-homo status, generally for services rendered to boganity. This includes former rugby league star Ian Roberts and Ex-Idol Anthony Callea (although the bogan will quickly point out that the latter’s second record was ‘totally gay’). Often the bogan will signpost its tolerance and openness to different sexualities by being able to identify various gay celebrities, and potential others that it claims are yet to ‘come out of the closet’. The trashmedia kraken has trained the bogan in how to engage in this type of speculation.

But despite how it might try to hide it when inconvenient, the bogan’s homophobia is clear enough. If a straight male bogan is told that his hairdo is a bit gay, you can be sure that it will spend numerous minutes in the bathroom at the next opportunity, trying to carefully tousle the homosexuality out of his hair in the mirror, and fretting about whether his outfit is contributing to the problem. The bogan wishes to make itself as conspicuously un-gay as possible in life’s various sexuality challenges, including approaching the urinal in the most manly way possible, and staring at the best available blank space of wall whilst standing around naked during a footy trip gang-bang.


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474 responses

17 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bogans like the den.
but they’ll never admit it.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Anthony Callea had a second record? Who knew!

17 06 2010
miss dahl

This is the first time I’ve heard of him … is he famous?

17 06 2010
Shirley M

He was once. Briefly. Best not to delve any further miss dahl. You already have learned too much.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirly,
“delve” is a word that one ought be careful with in these conotations

17 06 2010
Antosha

ALAS !! Extricate mind from gutter Mr Hunter.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
Sorry, It was just the first thing that came to hand
Opps done it again

18 06 2010
Antosha

WOEFUL !!!

aarrghhh !!

17 06 2010
pb

all you need is two words, miss dahl: australian idol.

17 06 2010
vivisection

4 words actually ” Australian Idol Runner Up” 🙂

17 06 2010
LT

…who actually did much better than the winner I might add.

17 06 2010
pb

yes, well he wasn’t outed until a few years down the line, whereas the winner wasn’t very pop marketable.

17 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

What’s all this guff about Australian Idol? Wouldn’t have a clue about who was in line for their fifteen minutes of mass-manufactured-and-market-researched-to-the-nth-degree version of fame, I’m sorry pleased to say.

Oh, I do tell a small fib…a good friend of mine, who’s well behind enemy loines giving me the inside dope, whether I like it or not, regales about the misfortune of a local gal and former Idol contender, Cosima DeVito, who managed to corral her family’s financial support to bankroll an ultimately doomed career beyond the confines of Idoldom: nil return on investment and the folks went along for the ride.

Kinda tragic, when you think about it, knowing that it is likely that she wasn’t the only one who tried to buy more time beyond the allocated fifteen, not accepting that “time’s up”, and perhaps looking at more realistic (and likely more fulfilling) options beyond the glamourous, yet fickle, milieu that is showbiz.

17 06 2010
Boort

The bogue is not tolerant of the homosexual – unless its his favourite footy player/celebrity on the Footy Show. In which case, the bogue relishes the opportunity to release in woman within – this explains why some many footballers and co. on The Footy Show cant wait to cross-dress with gay abandon.
Any other time, the bogue will be uncomfortable, and ready to defend it manhood by a justified act of ‘glassing’ – yet when a tv/film crew are present – ‘Gay-up boys!! we’re about to be the centre of attention…’

17 06 2010
Paddington

My favourite line: “… trying to carefully tousle the homosexuality out of his hair”.

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Also known as the Akermanis Effect. And don’t they realise that nothing looks gayer than a neat faux-hawk with a suit?

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. A slight correction, if I may be so bold: “nothing looks gayer than a neat faux-hawk with a suit… and pale faux crocodile leather shoes”. See entry on “Melbourne Cup”.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

There’s a fine line between metrosexual and homosexual… apparently.

17 06 2010
the trav

no there isn’t. a metrosexual, if someone yet to come out of the closet or reealise they are gay..

17 06 2010
Shirley M

As I said. A fine line.

17 06 2010
TheMon

Absolutely. Any bogan who waxes his chest is crossing the line.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

I guess that would depend on the reasons for said waxing.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. What are some acceptable reasons?

17 06 2010
vivisection

I’m sure professional trampolinists would wax chest hair, those springs would hurt if they got caught.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Waxing one’s chest is a personal choice, so in that sense I guess all reasons are acceptable. TheMon suggests that if a straight bogan waxes his chest he is ‘crossing the line’. I would say that if the man waxes his chest because he personally prefers to be hairless, or to appease his partner, then that would not constitute ‘crossing the line’. If he did it to impress the other boys at the gym, even though he hates fags, then perhaps that would be crossing the line.

17 06 2010
TheMon

There are no acceptable reasons. Sorry guys. A ‘man’ should have some hair.

17 06 2010
vivisection

So are the Bear community not gay? Are gay men not “men”? We don’t all anal bleach either.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

A woman is supposed to have hair too, but the majority of them remove pretty much all of their body hair.

So if a woman doesn’t shave her legs, does that automatically make her a lesbian?

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. No. Just unattractive.

17 06 2010
TheMon

Certainly not Shirley. It just means she’s keeping warm during the winter months.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

And if she doesn’t shave her legs in summer, and wears shorts?

17 06 2010
vivisection

No , it would make her a man. because men have hair.

19 06 2010
miss dahl

So, if a woman takes up fencing, soccer or sailing? I took up sailing several years ago, and a pair of male bogans at my workplace called me a man. BTW, there is no way I can be mistaken for a man.

18 06 2010
BoganDetector

Woop Woop Woop! Bogan comment detected.

20 06 2010
Kat

Yep

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. What if the partner he is appeasing is a man? I suggest that would be pretty gay.

17 06 2010
TheMon

Ps: this also applies to the ‘back, sack & crack wax.’ GAY!!!

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Well I don’t know about that…

17 06 2010
Shirley M

If he’s already gay then he’s not crossing the line, is he Fiona?

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. You have earned your PhD my child.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

*proud*

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Fi, is it from a G8

17 06 2010
vivisection

A bossy girlfriend?

17 06 2010
vivisection

A bossy girlfriend was meant to come up under ” A fine line between a metrosexual and a Homosexual”….

17 06 2010
Lotus

you’d have to admit when a pack of footy bogans stand around trying to keep erect while watching one of their friends slamming a chick, trying to keep to their eyes off said footy players gooch, it’s kinda leaning towards homosexuality……kinda

17 06 2010
Death Squad

In the footy squad gang bang, the woman is purely window dressing.

17 06 2010
Sibyl Ince

“you’d have to admit when a pack of footy bogans stand around trying to keep erect while watching one of their friends slamming a chick, trying to keep to their eyes off said footy players gooch,”

Nwevermind the bogan, you’ve just described player behaviour.

17 06 2010
simon of south yarra

The pic of the fev with dildo is a classic – he obviously is proud to show males what he has, he probably gets naked with a heap of other guys on a regular basis, he also lets other blokes rub oil all over his body two maybe three times a week, he and billy brownless (if he still exists) enjoy a bit of cross-dressing. sounds like he would fit into gay porn really well

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Still trying to work out which one’s the dildo…

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. The one on the left.

He has one hanging out of his pants too.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

The “fev” wears a dress plus an enormous appendage in public and treats women very badly. Who’s kidding who here?

25 06 2010
Azza83

There was an article about fev encouraging the lions to get naked in the shower about a month ago.

17 06 2010
vivisection

There’s an old joke, which in my experience has been more often than not true.

Q .Whats the difference between a straight man and a gay man?
A: A six pack of beer.

Most of the worst bogan homophobes know this deep in their heart and don’t like this one iota. What they don’t realise, is that there is a significant difference between homosexuality and bestiality and most self respecting gay men wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole. And those who would only do it out of charity.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

On the topic not differentiating between homosexuality and bestiality, why is it that homophobes can’t differentiate between homosexuals and pedophiles?

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I have a theory about that – perhaps one of the boys can confirm or deny…???

I think it’s because most heterosexual males would have sex with a youngish girl if they had the chance so they assume most homesexual males would have sex with a youngish boy.

I should clarify that I am talking about post-pubescent young people here – but only just.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

I have a gay friend and his sister wouldn’t let him take her 2 children, one girl, one boy, both under 10, camping, because she feared what might be done to them. So, is the thought process that only dirty perverts are gay, and children, regardless of their sex, are unsafe with dirty perverts?

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Good Lord, that’s just plain old bogan (il)logic. I can’t explain that I’m afraid.

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Pretty much. Ironically it’s always the “trusted” straight uncle, grandfather etc who turns out to be the molester.

17 06 2010
Nelson Esq

Maybe your friend’s sister got confused about what kind of camping was going on…???

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

She probably had some silly innuendo about a row of pink tents or something. I fully concur with g.’e.a. about the myth that exists about gay men being molesters: most of them, if not all, have experienced that homophobic view imposed upon them directly, so they’d often be all too aware of this negative stereotype and perhaps shrug their shoulders and resignedly accept that there’s many folk who’ll not change their minds, in spite of the aforementioned facts that g.’e.a. has cited.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Not a bad theory Fi.

My theory would be that it stems partially from the covering up of sexual abuse issues within the various religious institutions. Even recently Pope Ratso has stated that paedophilia in the Catholic Church has been a direct result of gays in the clergy. A lot of people listen to this crap, for a long time.

It’s easier to blame homosexuality than challenge their archaic notions of abstinence which provides a secure and safe cover for paedophiles to hide behind.

Given that sexual abuse of children is largely (but not exclusively) perpetrated by men who identify as heterosexual, it has been convenient to maintain the myth that homosexuals are the true offenders.

What is missing from all of this is the understanding that paedophilia stems from an adults inability to create , sustain or maintain adult sexual relationships and the fact that most paedophiles will abuse both boys and girls over their lives.

Homosexuality on the other is defined simply by attraction to one’s own sex and has nothing to do with relationship dynamics, power, or the age of the person desired. Just a s heterosexuality is defined as attraction to the opposite sex, not the age of the person desired. It wasn’t until the 1860’s that either were defined, prior to that people were just sexual.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Well put, Viv. But I would like to add that lesbians are not excluded from the pedophile connection.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Quite true, as long as female PE teachers are around in a man’s domain, they will be decried as lezzo paedos too.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. And for their love of hockey. Sticks.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Oi. I am hockey player from way back. And I’ve only ever used my stick for hitting balls. Hockey balls.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Fine, fine – so, you went to Band Camp then…?

17 06 2010
Shirley M

No. But I did go on tour with the debating team…

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I’d like to have this statement tested: “the fact that most paedophiles will abuse both boys and girls over their lives”.

I guess I assumed they would have a strong preference for one sex based ON their sexuality (as opposed to their pathology).

17 06 2010
Shirley M

It’s not so much an attraction thing as a power thing, that stems, as viv said, from an inability to effectively engage in an equal, adult relationship.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Well, I have no experience in this (thankfully), so I really can’t contribute further.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Not necessarily, the profile for a victim of sexual abuse is more often based on other factors such as the child’s age and personality ie the withdrawn child, the socially isolated, the ability to groom the child and parents and offend without being caught. While some paedophiles will have male or female victim preferences, for many this is not an issue.

Just like with other sexuality, bisexuality exists in the paedophile communities.

17 06 2010
T-ra

Well said Viv! Wholeheartedly agree!

17 06 2010
TheMon

The whole reason clergy ARE gay is because they are not allowed a sex life at all. All that pent up frustration has to eventually explode & unfortunately it comes out in evil ways. If they were just allowed to have some sort of adult sex life, there would be much less abuse in the church.

17 06 2010
vivisection

No, if the clergy are gay, it is because they are gay. No environment can make you gay. If they are paedophiles it is because they always have been and would be in or out of the church.

What the Church offers though is a convenient front .i.e Priests are traditionally perceived as non-sexual,trusted pillars of the community and therefore will not molest the children. It provides teh perfect grooming environment, easy access to the disenfranchised, a trusted position and historically, a scott free environment to be in if they are caught.

If they were allowed to have an adult sex life, they would still molest children if they were paedophiles.

Pent up frustration can easily be overcome by masturbation.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

All hail vivi – the purveyor of modern truths!

17 06 2010
TheMon

Masturbation & an actual sex life are two very different things Vivi! I don’t think these people plan to molest kids & thus become clergy. Being an ex Catholic school girl I know all about repression & guilt. What I am saying is, these people should be allowed to have normal sexual relationships, maybe then they won’t take their evil frustrations out on little kiddies. Expecting these human beings to be super human, non sexual beings & to deny any sexual desires is just asking for trouble. Amen.

17 06 2010
vivisection

They aren’t allowed to have relationships with kids , but they still do.

So if they aren’t allowed to relationships with adults, why don’t they anyway? They do with kids.

Because no amount of adult sex is going to satisfy the need of a paedophile to have sex with a child.

Paedophilia isn’t simply about putting bits in holes, its about the distorted relationship with the person.

17 06 2010
Johnny

Like you said, both adult and child relationships are not allowed but a relationship with an adult would be harder to keep under wraps. The institution makes the child relationship more convenient.

17 06 2010
vivisection

So are you saying that all men, under certain circumstances, have the ability to desire sex with children? And that the choice of sex with a child is based on convenience?

Why would it be harder to have sex with a consenting adult than a child? Brothels are discreet and used by many clergymen. Surely grooming a child and emotionally abusing it to keep it silent is significantly more effort.

I know for a fact, that children have absolutely zero sexual appeal to me, and would continue to have zero appeal to me even if i was banned form having relationships with adults. Abstinence has more appeal to me than sex with children.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

Being an ex-catholic school girl, I can say that if the catholic clergy were allowed to marry, then maybe it could alleviate the sexual frustration. The point of the monastic life is that the people who CHOOSE it, rise above their sexual frustrations and desires. It’s not like the concept was a surprise – they know this going in. Therefore, the clergy who engage in sexual activity, have FAILED. If one wants to be cleric and still have a sex life, then one can choose between all the other denominations that allow marriage e.g. Anglican, Orthodox, Uniting Church, just to name a few. A regular straight or gay guy won’t shag a child when he wants a bit of nookie, in other words. He will seek a suitable adult partner. I have heard of a few clerics who have had secret love affairs and even had children. A pedophile however, will specifically want a child. Totally different scenario.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Exactly, a paedophile is a paedophile regardless off surroundings and rules and this wont change.

I am still quite cynical about many priest’s decision to join the clergy in the first place. I do think many paedophiles see the church and the role as a good place to harbour paedophilic desire and guilt. Perhaps they initially try to pray it away, but obviously this doesn’t work but it remains a good place to act upon it. And seek redemption.

In saying this I don’t think that all men who have religious vocations are paedophiles, its just that a religious vocation can and does work work to a paedophiles advantage. If the churches acted responsibly in dealing with these elements, perhaps it would stop cynicism like mine.

Historically, all of the churches have failed quite shockingly at bringing offenders to justice and protecting their communities. Until they stop blaming gays and looking at their own shortcomings I will remain suspicious.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

A sheltered place where they protect their own – a pedophiles’ paradise! Naturally, not everyone who seeks religious vocation is one – that’s just ridiculous and untrue. I also think that a pedophile knows himself, therefore to think he can pray it away… I’m not convinced. Maybe a few of them, but certainly not all. I see religious vocation like any other job. Except this one comes with accommodation and extra special rules, like poverty, chastity and obedience. Like I said before, if one is not up to the job description, then one should stay away. As far as the forgiveness thing is concerned, at Catholic school, we were taught that in order to gain God’s forgiveness, one has to be truly penitent and not sin again; the premise being that only the individual and God know what’s in the individual’s heart, then there’s no debate. By that definition, no forgiveness from God because a serial, unrepentant pedophile can hide his evil from other people, but not from God. He is just using the institution of the church to his advantage. I also strongly believe that the pedophile predators should be kicked out of the church, no question.

18 06 2010
Abdul Rahman

let’s not leave out the fact that most child survivors of sexual assault are like their adult counterparts, female. There must be an awful lot of gay men having sex with little girls.

20 06 2010
Kat

Hang on… that degree in the classics should be telling you that liaisons between adult males and pubescent males was ‘how it was’ back in the day. The stereotype comes from historical facts about homosexuality (or bisexuality) in early Western (and for that matter, Eastern) culture.

As to whether older men still like to lie with much younger partners … hmmm…. I think it takes a special kind of inability to face reality to pretend that isn’t still ingrained in this culture. Nikki Webster … Miley Cyrus … Hermione Granger… those anorexic twins and the ‘countdown’ until their legality, and the memory of various over 20 men describing girl’s schools as ‘smorgasbords’.

As to gay culture … no idea myself but at least one gay man has declared to me that all men are paedophiles and gay men doubly so. I guess he’d had a little too much rejection since he’d turned 25. But women tend to experience that too … you lose a whole market. Luckily, a market with little intrinsic value.

21 06 2010
Shirley M

When talking about homosexuality in ancient times, it’s important to understand that the relationships between older men and younger boys was based on much more than just sexual relations. The older men were like mentors and society considered this kind of relationship very beneficial. Further to this, homosexual sex was seen as a form of birth control, and it was actually believed that a man would not produce his own semen until he had ingested the semen of another man.

I think it’s also important to separate the attraction to ‘almost legal’, highly sexualised teenagers in the public eye, and the attraction to average kids. I do not accept at all that all men are paedophiles and gay men doubly so. It’s preposterous.

21 06 2010
Kat

Well I didn’t put if forward as the truth, the gay guy who said that did.

21 06 2010
Kat

And also … they use the same arguments for the pairings of old men and young girls too. Regardless of the reasons, there must be some kind of attraction going on or it wouldn’t happen (we don’t see women of 55 marrying 15 year old boys all that often, do we?)

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

A lot of men, especially bogans, seem to like women getting Brazilian waxjobs. Personally, I like to see at the very least some token amount, but that’s just me.

I wonder if there’s some link there, unresolved issues for them to ponder, hmm?

And to talk about matters depilatory, I have no problem if men wish to remove their body hair, for no other reason that if it is acceptable (and I dare suggest, by many, encouraged) for women to remove theirs, then I think men should be allowed to do so without persecution, if it is what they choose to do. Conversely, I have no umbrage whatsoever with women who don’t wish to conform to this double-standard of hairlessness.

To me, it’s a matter of personal preference and no one should feel bound to these gender stereotypes—which can be extended to hair on one’s head as well as that of the body—and not be coerced into appeasing anyone in that matter. Beyond maintaining sound personal hygiene, it’s no one else’s business whether you choose to shave/wax/trim/pluck or not.

18 06 2010
nico

although, technically, a girl with a brazillian doesn’t look like a child, she looks like a chick who has had a wax.

18 06 2010
miss dahl

It’s just a grooming issue – for those who practice muff-diving, as it were.

20 06 2010
Kat

Though it could be argued that if hair there is a big problem, they are doing it wrong.

17 06 2010
reparty

You know, watching the footy on 7Two late at night brings back quite a few memories. One of those is standing in the outer watching two teams of untatooed, un-faux’d, mullet sporting dudes get busy on the field at The Parade. When a player went down at Port-Norwood game (Cockatoo-Collins I think) someone in the crowd shouted, and I dread typing this, ‘Get up ya poofta boong’ His mates turned around and said, ‘Mate, you can’t call ’em boongs anymore’ But hey, poofta’s cool. And for the record, they were supporters of the prison bar team.

17 06 2010
Greyam of Sydney's Eastern Suburbs

Vivi, it’s not a six pack of beer, it’s 6 schooner’s of beer, after which they are bloody good sex.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Whichever is cheaper works for me!

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I have always chuckled at the bogans anti gay attitude. Once in a moment of bravery (?) I pointed out to some bogans that “he who protests the most, has the most to hide” There was silence and I could hear the slow turning cogs of their minds as they worked out what I meant. Luckily I had plenty of time to get out of there tee hee

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Hopefully you weren’t any older than about 13 when you wheeled out that hoary old chestnut.

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

That wouldn’t make a bad caption for the above photo…

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

aww come on fi, play nice and leave your hairy chestnuts out of it.

17 06 2010
Brimstone

is it just me or is there less open homophobia here? or is that just in Sydney? i’m straight, but when i went to Mardi Gras at the advice of some relatives i expected protesters (we even get them in gay pride parades in New York). i didn’t see any controversy

and during my pre-work cartoon watching (shut up) there are ads with various celebrities who are either gay or promoting gay rights (Dave Hughes? WTF?). i’d expect stories about the ‘gay agenda corrupting the kids’ but i haven’t seen any

17 06 2010
Shirley M

EVERYONE (except maybe Fred Nile and the Fielding twat) loves mardi-gra! I think you’ll find the prevailing homophobic attitude is conveyed nicely and succinctly in the article at the top of this page.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Yes for the garden variety bogue, just like with the aboriginal Ernie Dingo, the homosexual in question will be tolerated on television just as long as they don’t challenge the status quo or get uppity and expect human rights. He may offer fashion advice, hollywood celebrity gossip and overall sassiness and his lezzo sister may partake in some sports coverage, perhaps netball.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

This is all quite relevant to a situation occurring in my family at the moment. My cousin, who was long suspected to be gay, has just come out – he’s 30. On the whole, everyone has been accepting. Just how superficial this acceptance is, however, I learned when my cousin took his boyfriend to my mum’s place for the long weekend and she refused to let them sleep in the double bed. So she’s happy to accept that his gay, but not happy for him to ‘be gay’ under her roof. When I expressed my disappointment in her attitude she said “It’s about respect”. Ahh.. yeah.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. To be fair, it may have also been about clean sheets.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Shirley, this is why i make a point of muttering loudly under my breath to Mr Viv “I don’t mind what they do at home, but why do they have to do it in public ?” every time i see straight people holding hands in public, pashing on the bus, canoodling etc.

It’s a fact of life that most queers accept, the double standard and the constant need to keep a constant check and regulate one’s behaviour lest you risk offending the refined sensibility of one’s family or strangers on the street. Which partially explains why gays have such a huge party subculture, clubs and parties provide a space for queers to do what they like without recrimination. ie hold their partners hand, kiss, celebrate, feel safe etc. Things that the rest of the community take for granted.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

I really hope this all changes with future generations, but I fear it wont.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Still, you’ll agree the trend is positive (if slow)?

17 06 2010
Shirley M

You know, I really thought that the acceptance of homosexuality grew remarkably with my generation and that generations to come would see this acceptance furthered, but I find that those younger than I are far less accepting than I was at their age, and I don’t really understand why.

17 06 2010
Scott in Perth

I find exactly the same thing. The early twenty something age group (All seem to be Bogans as well), are very homophobic. On the positive side this does seem to be an Australian only phenomena. The Youth in Europe and the UK seem very accepting.

18 06 2010
common man

adam an eve not adam an steve

18 06 2010
vivisection

Yes, but as Eve was the original sinner, I prefer to be with Steve.

17 06 2010
Antosha

Agreed 100%

My late teen / early 20 nieces and nephews use ‘Gay’ as American’s would use ‘lame’, or as I would have used ‘ordinary’ when I was their age.

Such as:

‘my weekend will be so gay, I have a 2,000 word assignment to write’; or

‘They are such a gay football team’

.. aaah.. Gen Y….

21 06 2010
miss dahl

Yes, and their use of grammar is atrocious too! Blame the teachers, for they are just as dumb.

22 06 2010
euro goth bogue

the word gay has been used in the meanin of bad/lame (not ordinary) for a very long time.the early twenties dont even know that there is a connection and will argue with u that thats one of the meanings.im definitely c them as being much more ignorant than ever b4.

22 06 2010
James Hunter

E G B,
I suspect that you in common with lots of others both here and elsewhere tend to become pedantic over misconceptions fo both the posters and postees with regard to the differences between historical meanings and common use meanings for words or expressions.
Languages and the English language especially change and develope continuously. To ignore this is a sign of an arrested intellectual development.

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

I don’t see it. Homophobes are still quoting Leviticus to justify their views, so at least another 2,000 years?

17 06 2010
vivisection

I think it will, all change is gradual. There will always be morons, there always has been, but i think with each generation it will get better. Even in the last 20 years I have seen huge changes for the better. In another 20 hopefully society will look at this period in time and wonder what the f#ck was that about?

18 06 2010
Abdul Rahman

i’d really much prefer it if everyone left it at home beyond the hand holding.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

I’ve also heard similar about straight, unmarried couples staying overnight. I guess respect runs both ways – if you’re at someone’s house, you have to abide by their rules. I wouldn’t do a song and dance over that, myself.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

I don’t think he did do a song and dance about it. I’m just making the point that ‘acceptance’ of homosexuality is often very superficial.

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I wonder if his mother would’ve imposed the same conditions if it was a woman he wanted to have share his bed under her roof? That is the question some would ask: some Boomer parents, despite all the newfound freedoms they had at their disposal in when they were of similar age in the 1970s, may still have inherited some of their parents’ social mores re sexual relations while under their roofs, as parents of adult children now themselves, regardless of orientation. Yet there’d be more than a few who’d be all cool if it were some hetero horizontal action, but would baulk at their son or daughter performing “unnatural acts” (what they’d perhaps call acts of same-sex congress) and draw the line at that.

18 06 2010
Shirley M

It was my mother and I can assure you if he took a young lady to stay, they would have had the double bed.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Did they gay couple have a choice about being married?

20 06 2010
Kat

To be fair, I know plenty of people who won’t let their adult children sleep under their rooves with unmarried partners of either sex.

21 06 2010
vivisection

True, but Shirley’s point was that her mother told people she was accepting of the couple, allowed straight couples to share a bed under her roof, but wouldn’t allow the gay couple.

17 06 2010
pb

i think there’s less open homophobia – we don’t have an equivalent of the westboro baptist nuts – but the casual stuff mentioned above (gay as a general word to criticise anything and everything) is pervasive.

17 06 2010
Brimstone

yeah but i’m still weirded out about seeing explicity pro gay ads – like Ian McKellean literally wearing a sign saying ‘I’m gay and i’m awesome’ on the ads for a kids cartoon

i mean weirded out in a good way, obviously

17 06 2010
vivisection

We do have a few right wing christian groups who run gay conversion camps here. I think you are right though in saying that Australia has moved forward significantly in the last 30 years. Still a fair way to go though. I also think that once you get out of the the gay ghettoes ( usually inner city) it can be a different story.

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Gloria Jeans coffee places donate a portion of their profits to gay conversion therapy. They call it charity work.

In the interest of accuracy, James, Gloria Jean’s severed their relationship with Mercy Ministries (who carried out the stuff you’re referring to) in October 2009. GJ’s is still cosied up to Hillsong Church, though. TBL

17 06 2010
amr

Owned by Hillsong ‘elders’ that’s why apparently.
Disgusting behavior.

17 06 2010
AntiPajero

@James
“They call it charity work.”

Which would make it tax-deductible. As in support from the tax base. Which includes my tax dollars. I think I just felt a bogan resistor in my logic circuitry heat up.

https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2010/05/06/137-their-taxpayer-dollars/

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Thanks TBL. I missed that one, obviously.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. You wouldn’t have if you were more focused on domestic matters. Obviously.

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I’ve assiduously avoided being a patron of their cafés for those reasons aforementioned.

Never mind that their coffee ain’t that flash either (tried one when someone bought me a cuppa one time).

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I watch Cartoons too Brim… Secretly a lot of growed up do… Bet Fi does. 😛

17 06 2010
Shirley M

I happen to know that our Fi is a huge fan of Daria.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Who isn’t? Sick Sad World is like ACA

17 06 2010
SD

Can’t wait for the Daria DVD…

17 06 2010
Shirley M

You can purchase them online right now. Right now I say!

17 06 2010
pb

daria was the best! i know what my next online purchase is going to be…

21 06 2010
miss dahl

Now you’ve lost me, guys ….

21 06 2010
vivisection

It’s children’s television Miss Dahl 🙂 But it’s one of those rare shows that work for non-bogue adults too.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Losers. That’s who isn’t. Trent is the embodiment of most of my ex-boyfriends, only better looking.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Hands off bitch! Trent is mine. Or maybe Mack Daddy. ❤

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Trent is so not your type. You can have Mack Daddy. Or Kevin. Kevin and you would make quite a cute couple, actually.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I have to agree, but what would I talk to him about? I have a higher degree in the Classics and he’s illiterate! Tom is probably the best match.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

You wouldn’t TALK to him, you silly girl!

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I must admit, I do like the way he’d call me “babe”.

17 06 2010
Antosha

There are no good cartoons on anymore. I miss Trapdoor, Duckula and Gadget.

Speaking of… how ’bout that camp skeleton from SuperTed. wtf??

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Antosha,

gadget, he man and she-ra are available on DVD. Also the original transformers is around.

I love cartoons 🙂

20 06 2010
brad

Pinky you are a true nerd(i mean that in the nicest way),what about Danger Mouse?And would you agree that Sketetor is the most evilist being in the universe?P.s have ordered first season of The Monk and am awaiting delivery.

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brad

I am a nerd. I don’t care who knows. I look like a nerd, I talk like a nerd, I am a… 😀

I love Danger Mouse, struggling to find it on DVD. I have all of Astro-boy as well(1980’s and some of the 60’s too) I also love Sailor Moon and I also have almost all of A-team, am really pissed that they made that crappy movie.

I couldn’t get into Monk, to much like look at my own reflection in some cases. hahaha

I do love Lie To Me, I refuse to watch commercial teev, so I hire them from Video Ezy.

Skeletor is one of my all time favourite villains.

20 06 2010
brad

When i was younger as i watched Masters of The Universe i used too ponder what would be preferable.My reasonably pretty face on my skinny body,or too be ripped like Skeletor but live with skull face.Im still undecided,woulnt mind being Skeletor for a week too gain a better perspective.The A-Team was good ,i find the Mr T snickers ads hilarious.

21 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I always wanted to be Sorceress turn into a bird and have mental telepathy. Tela always annoyed me. Constantly bitching at Adam. LOL

Skeletor is awesome. He tries so hard. LOL

I saw an original boxed Cringer for a lot of cash. I am a bit of a collector and was very tempted to buy it. But I’d pull it out of the box and ruin it! LOL

If they had used Mr T in the new movie I would have been stoked, but they replaced him. You can’t replace Mr T.

Where you big on Transformers? The original 1980’s series is the best, but even some of the newer stuff is cool. I even liked the lastest movie.

Sh!t, I’m such a nerd…hahahah

21 06 2010
brad

That you are ha ha , i actually liked Mighty Machine Men better than Transformers,they had more depth of character.Cringer is a legend and i can still do a perfect impersonation of him “oh no Adam not again” whenever something stressful is required of me(ie dishes,laundry ghanging nappies,going too work).Battle of The Planets was another good one for having a purely evil adversiary(The Evil Spectre).Im not a nerd though(eyes turn downward too the right,scratches nose),i just have really good re-call.

17 06 2010
Tone

Homophobia is pretty gay if you ask me.

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

My favourite anti-gay argument is that it is apparently a choice to be so. Admittedly, this is most often wheeled out by the Christians, rather than bogans, but I would assert there is significant overlap there.

I like to throw a counter argument at them when this is raised. If someone tells me being gay is a choice, then I respond that logically they are also gay, but choose not to act on those tendencies. Haven’t tried it on a bogan yet, for fairly obvious reasons relating to glass and skin integrity.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Or you could ask, why would anyone choose to be potentially socially ostracised and discriminated against? The only choice I had was whether to be honest and risk losing my families love, risk losing my job and accept the fact that legally I still a second class citizen. Luckily, I have fared well so far, but many don’t which is why we have statisically higher rates of teen suicide, drug and alcohol issues and anxiety and depressive disorders in the gay community.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Or you could ask them if their heterosexuality was a choice? Presuming they answer in the affirmative (as I guess they must), you could point out that as they could have chosen to make an alternative choice, they’re probably actually bisexual.

And…

Who do you suggest I read on the Lowy Institute blog?

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

On Australian defence policy, I would suggest Hugh White. On regional affairs, particularly with reference to China, I suggest Fergus Hanson. Michael Wesley is also excellent, see particularly his ongoing debate with Hugh White.

Rikki Kersten and Andrew Selth are very interesting to read, if you are into Japanese and Burmese politics respectively. Graeme Dobell also receives my respect, albeit grudgingly.

Commentators I tend to avoid include Anthony Bubalo, Malcolm Cook, Raoul Heinrichs, and Mark Thompson. Although I do not think Mark has posted for quite a while now.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. re: the latter four. Why?

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I’ve just never really been a fan of the type of analysis they conduct. Don’t get me wrong – they are all great guys. However, in the case of Anthony and Raoul, I find that their analysis is coloured by the emotive stance they take on several issues, particularly as they relate to the Middle East. Malcolm I just disagree with generally (because he is wrong). Mark is an economist by training, and his analysis is often based on statistics and figures, and it can be a little boring. He did write an interesting report on demographics and national security for ASPI recently, however, I disagree with much of his analysis, based as it was on extrapolating on current trends and making projections on that basis.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Very well. Thank you. Reading Fergus Hanson’s offerings now…

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

James

They have found the Gay gene. There is no choice. You’re born that way. Love telling Religitards that. LOVE IT.

Not the best article on the subject but good enough.

http://www.generationq.net/news/GLBT/Proof-of-Gay-Gene-9108.shtml

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Did you even READ that article or did you just not understand it?

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

FUCK SORRY WRONG ARTICLE. TWO TABS

SORRY

**leaves room head hung in shame**

22 06 2010
euro goth bogue

try out my argument and that is asking them if they chose to be straight

17 06 2010
miss dahl

Interesting you mention losing your job. I can understand families being ambivalent about accepting a member’s homosexuality, but as far as I’ve been in the workforce, there was never any question of people losing a job because of it. I recall way back in the 80’s, I worked with the most overtly mincing homosexual man (I’m not kidding, I’ve never seen anyone behave like that in a corporate workplace before or since). He and I got on like the proverbial house on fire because he was so utterly adorable. He would even leave little pressies on my desk – chocolates and pastries. I reckon that was just bribery though so I could do his typing, but nevertheless, he was accepted just as he was. The rest of the men in the office were never disparaging or unkind. Now, why can’t everyone be nice these days?

17 06 2010
vivisection

I worked as an employment consultant for 5 years within the gay and HIV positive community – I saw numerous clients who had been sacked over their sexuality. One I distinctly recall was a guy who was having a child with a lesbian couple, he told everyone at the bank he worked in, they assumed he was straight and having a child and gave him a promotion. As soon as they found out he was gay and having the child with lesbians he was let go.

When I mention the risk of losing your job, i guess often the risk may be small but the consequence would be huge if the worst were to eventuate, so standard risk management rules apply ie. tell no-one and lie about fictitious girlfriends.

It’s different in various industries too. The fact that we don’t have many out gay sportspeople is a good example. (or they come out after their careers have peaked and they don’t have sponsorship to lose) While gay hairdressers are a dime a dozen.

17 06 2010
miss dahl

vivi, I think the issue here is that unsophisticated, uneducated and religulous people are the one’s who are the problem, not just about homosexuals, but EVERYTHING! Education is the answer.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Well said.

17 06 2010
Mark

Aussie Rules, a sport involving men in hot pants and vests manhandling each other, NOTHING HOMOSEXUAL ABOUT THAT!

and now the World Cup is on, they’re quick to point out that soccer is a sport for poofs…

17 06 2010
Brimstone

agreeed

17 06 2010
pb

league bogan comments are even worse – look at the sort of stuff being hurled at timana tahu for choosing to leave the nsw state of origin team because of racism. anyone’d think it was him who’d done something awful.

18 06 2010
common man

he did overeact like a typical sophist

17 06 2010
brad

Comment on something you know about Mark.like soccer-that girlie,wog-ball game you poofs all like.

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I wouldn’t be all to surprised there was some latent homoeroticism amongst the bogan set. Just don’t discuss with those types how awesome their ripped bodies are, unless you want them to question your own sexuality!

17 06 2010
h

Once again the irrational fears of society are responsible for hate of minority groups. If you’re not born a white, heterosexual, male you may as well expect to be disrciminated against at one point in your life.

Bogans also have a strong dislike of transexuals and bisexuals. It confuses them even more than homosexual individuals. Once again confusion= hatred.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Unless they are in Bangkok, then they love trannies. But should one confuse them at home, look out.

20 06 2010
Kat

Hey, even if you are a white, heterosexual male I am sure you will be discriminated against at some point in your life. People have this ability called ‘discrimination’ so it’s unfortunately always going to be around. In fact, it’s revered in some contexts (ie. wine tasting, the artistic and literary world, science) but reviled in others. Either way, it’s a fact of life.

17 06 2010
hel

This post is so spot on, which makes it bitingly funny and horridly tragic as well. What would be the hardest part about being a gay bogan? The constant desire to beat yourself up (up, not off).

17 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Coming out would be the worst for a gay bogan. The pressure to “act straight” would be emotionally breaking. I’ve seen what bogans do to someone they THINK is gay. Not nice at all.

17 06 2010
Nelson Esq

“If the bogan doesn’t like something, it’s for pooftas, because the bogan doesn’t like pooftas or things that pooftas like.”

So true! Anyone can be a poofta just because they like something a bogan doesn’t. Case in point, last week-end I visited the NGV to see the Rupert Bunny exhibition. I really enjoyed my few hours at the gallery not just for the paintings but for the totally bogan free environment I found myself in. One can therefore make an assumption (using bogan logic) that the bogan free environment means that bogans do not like classical art exhibitions and if bogans do not like classical art exhibitions, they must be liked by pooftas!

On those grounds, I do declare that I am a poofta and I like doing poofta stuff! And being a poofta, I therefore am not a bogan! Woo Hoo!!

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I might be straight, but I’m a total poofter too! Seconded.

18 06 2010
common man

just boring instead?

18 06 2010
James Hunter

CM,
Could be worse
Necrophilia, thats dead boring

18 06 2010
Antosha

Isn’t good to see CM back up and running. I have missed his erudite observations of late..

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Erudite or erratic

22 06 2010
euro goth bogue

erm, im a poofta and a bogan in a way,as r a fair bit of my gay (male and female) friends

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Riddle me this:

• Why so bogans assume that the most interesting, defining, profound fundamental of a gay person’s existence IS their sexuality? Who someone bonks is not deemed the primary descriptor for a straightie. It’s not “Dave, the heterosexual guy” – instead it’s “Dave – y’know, the short, brown-haired wingnut from Accounts…drives that black Honda, has a heap of old 60s band Ts”. Versus the gay descriptor: “Poofta Dave”.

• Why do bogans sexualise every little thing a gay person does? Gone to the loo? Probably tearing one off! (tee-hee) Went out Friday night? Probably to a gay bar, full of gay people, doing (nudge-nudge) gay stuff! (titter). The assumption is that gay people are too busy shagging to dine out, sleep, pay taxes, wee, own a non-fluffy dog, buy socks or get stuck in traffic the way “normal” people do.

• Why do bogans cry “the horror, the horror” at anything remotely or even potentially man-gay then ‘stranger’ themselves to within an inch of their insular little lives at the prospect of two chicks putting on a show?

D!ckheads.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

My mum thinks she is so effing now because she has a gay friend. His name is Mick. She talks about Mick as often as she talks about Karen. Whenever she talks about Mick, however, she calls him ‘Mick the poof’. Funny how it’s never ‘Karen the fatty who’s married to a loser’. It’s just Karen.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

*Why DO bogans…*

17 06 2010
urbanreverie

Not sure about the first two, Tomba. The last question, I think it’s the imagined prospect of the “two girls on one guy” thing.

17 06 2010
vivisection

taxes? what are they??

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Ha! I KNEW it!

17 06 2010
vivisection

And my dog is fluffy. dammit! In fact he is so fluffy at times, he gets called gay. I have had losers say “Hey is your dog gay?”. To which i replied,”He will do anything for cash, how much are willing to pay?” And then i stretched my long legs and hightailed it as fast as possible.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Off you go – back to your super-gay bonking and whatnot. No time for chatter, like we “normals”….

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Are you jelous that Viv is getting more boom boom the you?

17 06 2010
Tombarina

I doubt we’re in the market for quite the same brand of boom-boom, JH. Or whatnot, for that matter…

17 06 2010
nico

because they’re waiting to step in and finish off the two girls, who are dying for a big bogan man to step in!
their faces always fall when, after finding out i’m a lesbian (‘you pass for a straight chick’…oh thanks guys) they see my girlfriend (‘but she’s a total dyke!’ yes, as am i. i just look less threatening to you, idiots)

22 06 2010
euro goth bogue

funny how no body mentioned yet the fact that lesbians face a slightly different challenge to gay man and thats the invisibility.a guy sees to chicks making out and he gets a boner unless he doesnt find them attractive so hes gonna call them tom boys. also lesbians often r or were excluded from anti homosexuality laws.in nazi germany no woman ended up in a concentration camp for being a lesbian but for not fulfilling her gender role of being a breeding machine.not to say that there isnt any violence against lesbians.i really feel for them,they have to fight homophobia,sexism and invisibility all at once.to varying degrees of course

22 06 2010
James Hunter

EGB
You dont suppose that Society and sexuality have mooved on since Nazi Germany !
That is not to say that
Salon Kitty
is not still a great movie.

23 06 2010
euro goth bogue

some countries have but others have fallen behind.belize for example outlawed male homosexuality in 2003 while female homosexuality remains legal. here is a good wiki page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

i havent seen salon kitty or heard of it. a great one is amie and jaguar

17 06 2010
DP

Arriving late. Going by this article, I guess the bogan male should use less hair-gel, leave the pink polo shirt in the closet before leaving the house and indulge in less ‘horseplay’ with mates while out at the club…

BTW, how did Australian Defence Policy get worked into the thread of conversation? Dog with a bone?

17 06 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

My fault largely. Apologies.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. My fault too. But no apologies. I shall do as I please, thank you very much.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Stuck in moderation. And I didn’t even use rude words, other than d!khead…

Vivi, loving your work today. Also enjoying the fine contributions of H, PB, Shirl, James and Fi.

Now, as you were…..

17 06 2010
SD

Coincidentally was reading about a new doco on Stonewall. Its hard to believe how far things have come – and how some things have remained unchanged.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/16/movies/16stone.html

Homophobia is perhaps a little lesser here – but that’s just an impression. But there is – how to put it – a sort of tittering terror of gayness i.e. the nervous laugh, the proclamation of empahtically not being gay? Almost any behaviour outside of the Neanderthal is often seen as poofterish. This is for e.g. the first place I have been in where a man reading a novel can be deemed gay……

17 06 2010
martin

So what’s with the guys who can get any girl they want with the greatest of ease turning gay? I’ve known of a couple of guys like this. They’ll spend 10 years or so banging every hotty in the world and then turn gay. Seems a bit peculiar. For them it seems as though it’s very much a choice. As opposed to I suppose most gays who know they’re gay from a young age and never have sex with a woman ever.

Maybe they’re turned off by all the women being so eager? Weird.

Oh btw, you’re all a bunch of fags. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Bisexual perhaps? Sexuality is fluid, not polarised with straight at one end gay at the other. People should be free to explore all aspects of their sexuality if they are comfortable enough to do it. As i mentioned earlier, sexuality is not always about bits in holes, there is the cerebral aspect of sexuality to consider too. The choice aspect comes down on whether to act on attraction, not a choice on who you are attracted to.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Well yeah, there’s a lot of guys (and girls, to be fair) that will f*ck anything.

There’s also the guys who are gay, but don’t want to be. Guys that want to live the dream – wife, kids etc. etc. If you’re the kind of dude who wants a family, it must be really hard to accept that you’re gay, so I understand why this happens. It’s terribly hard on the trophy wife and children though, when dad decides he can’t live a lie anymore.

20 06 2010
vivisection

There are many more middle aged men who decide they are leaving their wives and children for younger / other women than for other men though. And many women leave their husbands for relationships with other women too. I guess if homophobia wasn’t acceptable and if alternative lifestyles were portrayed in the media as anything other than offensive, this sort of thing would be less likely to happen. The pressure to be heterosexual is incredibly pervasive and society indoctrinates children with it from a very early age.

21 06 2010
Shirley M

Agreed. But I also think that above and beyond societal pressure to be heterosexual there is also a biological pressure. Being gay means having children is impossible in some cases, and at best very difficult.

21 06 2010
vivisection

I never understood the biological calling for children on a personal note – I just don’t have it. Though that doesn’t mean it isn’t true for many others. Outcomes from the recent baby boom in the queer community – spanning the last 10 years will be interesting to watch. Lesbians, if they decide to do it early enough are finding it relatively easy – or as easy as artificial insemination can be. I probably personally know 10 lesbians who have achieved this and have seen many more come thorough work.

For most gay men it is a either a matter or co-parenting with lesbians or overseas surrogacy which is incredibly expensive – first round cost a friend of mine $150 000. Second time was cheaper because he kept some round 1 spare eggs on ice!

Maybe as these families gain social acceptance the incidence of gay men getting married for the sake of having children will be reduced? I’m still not convinced that that is the reason they get married to women though. I also don’t believe that people are biologically locked into a particular sexuality either – i think we all have the biological capacity to have sex with all genders, it’s the brain that exerts most influence over what we actually do.

21 06 2010
Shirley M

Plenty of heterosexual people don’t desire children either. My point is that your sexuality is completely separate from your desire to either have or not have children.

Lesbians are lucky in the sense that there are 2 of them able to carry a child, and it’s just a matter of getting some sperm. A problem in Australia is that sperm donation is not prevalent, and a most of the sperm available comes from a small group of men. This means that if you use australian sperm, there is a good chance that your child will have a great many brothers and sisters out there. I know a lesbian couple who bought sperm from America because of this, and it didn’t come cheap. And as you say, it’s all much harder for gay men.

I’m sure there’s loads of reasons why men marry women and then at some time in their life they decide to have a relationship with a man. And I’m not saying that this is an extremely common practice, but I do think that the desire to have a family is one reason why. I also agree that we all fall onto a spectrum of sexuality, and that no one is completely ‘one way’. And I hope you are right that some day it will be a complete non issue who a person decides to sleep with or marry and that this will have a positive effect on all kinds of families everywhere.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

The current beer add where the theme is for every indescression there is a relevant amount of beer to settle the matter.
How much beer to square your mates when you tell then that your gay ?

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Depends if you’re putting the hard word on them at the time…

17 06 2010
vivisection

6 is the general consensus

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Preferably from a can – makes the inevitable glassing that much more difficult to accomplish.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Is that Cans,Sixpacks or Slabs ?

17 06 2010
vivisection

With some men i’ve met, its 6 middies. Then they are “straight” to bed and “straight” on top of the nearest cock they can find. Then “straight” home to their girlfriends.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Jeezus. It would take more than 6 middies for a man to take me home, and I’m a heterosexual woman.

Maybe you’re just irresistible, Viv.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Back in my 20’s it was easy 🙂 Now i’m a dinosaur in gay years (36 1/2) and living in the golden age of monogamy – which means i should lose 10 kilos!

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Shame it doesn’t seem to work the other way around. I’ve tried to turn a gay man or two in my time, but no dice.

17 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

alas. empathy is the solution. the bogue, by definition is incapable.

did we explore this?
homosexual behaviour, by nominally straight men is infinitely more common than is regularly admitted, I mean who hasn’t had a wild night in a bath house at least once? but who tells their mates? I will defend homosexuality in the third person to the death, but never admit I’ve been there…
and I think I’m a pretty confident cat usually. certainly open minded.
exactly why did ‘society’ get scared of gayness in the first place? is it because if all the blokes suddenly realised they could root eachother nothing would get done?

17 06 2010
Will S

Religion.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

In my lifetime, I think aids contributed to the poor attitude towards homosexuals as well.

17 06 2010
vivisection

It certainly didn’t help, but even by the advent of AIDS in Australia, homosexuality had been decriminalised in most states, so things had improved a little.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Society isn’t “scared” of gayness. It is prejudiced. Even the word homophobia is misused. A minute percentage of the redneckery out there can be attributed to a phobia against gays. The rest is pure “ism” and prejudice. To call it scared implies that the straight person has something to fear, and this in turn justifies violence against gay people – the good old self-defense legal defense which is still successful today in many courts (just this year in Maryborough QLD 2 men were acquitted of bashing a gay man to death because he approached them in a park using this defense)

Why is a good question though, we know it is a relatively recent phenomena in historical terms – sexuality was only defined and explicitly legislated against in the Mid -Victorian era. Perhaps the churches, in a post industrialised age were losing control over the masses and needed to create a common enemy (boat people of Victorian age??) to bring them back into the fold. Or was it simply that it didn’t fit into the strictly defined Victorian “Family” ethos?

Interestingly the Victorians didn’t legislate against lesbianism because Queen Vic herself didn’t believe that such a thing could happen!

17 06 2010
SD

Don’t know if this will make it through moderation – my comment seems to be stuck – but Graham Robb’s book actually locates a rich gay culture amongst the Victorians. The Oscar Wilde case seems to overshadow all else?

http://books.google.com/books?id=Ra4bT-kE0Z4C&sitesec=reviews

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

Because the Marquis of Queensbury was an archetypal bogan.

17 06 2010
Glass 'em all

sorry, “Marquess”

17 06 2010
miss dahl

You were correct the first time.

17 06 2010
SD

Wikipedia says Marquess.

I think Vivisection what I meant to say was that Robb’s book is a move away from the idea that sexuality was defined in the Victorian era – which is sort of a Foucaltian premise that gay identity is a modern invention. That gay identity was born as a result of the criminalisation may not be true – but I guess these are all just ideas.

Interesting tidbits on Australia in the 19th century.

Nelson, you will have to go back all the way to Sappho for lesbianism.

17 06 2010
vivisection

I agree SD, just because the words were defined then, doesn’t mean the behaviours didn’t exist before. I raised the Victorians earlier in response to Chubby because I do think their spotlight on and criminalisation of homosexuality did contribute to today’s societies intolerance and prejudice.

17 06 2010
SD

That’s true – and the laws re criminalisation live on as a colonial legacy in many countries – who ironically now think of it as part of their “culture”

17 06 2010
miss dahl

pardon, c’était en français …

17 06 2010
Nelson Esq

I find it ironic that it was Queensbury who ratified the rules of boxing, yet he deplored the fact that his son got punched in the ring…(pardon the pun!)

17 06 2010
vivisection

Now i have “Eye of the Tiger” stuck in my brain. Damn you Nelson Esq.

18 06 2010
Nelson Esq

“Yo Adrienne…!”

17 06 2010
vivisection

There are some great Australian examples from the Victorian era too – there was the transgender f2m who worked in the ballarat goldfields as a man, married twice and even fathered a child! It wasn’t until he was arrested for public drunkeness and hosed down at the police station that it was discovered that he was a she. Of course, his wife had no idea!! He went to psychiatric ward and eventually was released after making a public statement in the newspapers that she would never cross dress again. Several years I believe he/she joined a touring circus.

Then there was also the bushranger Captain Moonlight who was buried with a lock of his best mates hair. He requested to be buried next his special friend so they could lie together for eternity, but was put in an unmarked grave until a few years ago when they exhumed him and buried him according to his wishes.

And the Molly houses in Britain were notoriously debauche prior to all of this. It wasn’t considered a problem until the laws were changed.

17 06 2010
Nelson Esq

If lesbianism did not exist in 19th Century Victorian times, it must therefore be a 20th Century phenomenum!! 🙂

17 06 2010
Nelson Esq

Sheesh…I mean phenomenon…need a coffee…!!!

21 06 2010
Kat

Not really true. I’m sure the people of Sodom felt legislated against. And also, what the Romans had to say about the Greek culture they enveloped before it corrupted their own. Also, um .. not big in the Middle East, and careful rules set up around the place of homosexuality in those cultures that were less fearful. Having looked at some of those rules, um … not really that great to be gay in some of those cultures either. Unless you really like dressing up and acting as a woman.

21 06 2010
vivisection

The Bible doesn’t actually stipulate that the people of Sodom who practiced sodomoy were gay men. Sodomy, just means anal sex. The rate bogans are taking up this prized activity, we are living in a modern day Sodom!

21 06 2010
Kat

Yeah but there is that awful bit where the townfolk have seen the young male angels and desire them, so Lot offers them his young virginal daughters instead in order to avoid the crime of sodomy with men, and this apparently makes him a good man, and then the angels save Lot and his daughters and nobody else.

21 06 2010
Kat

However I agree that the practice of sodomy does not make a person gay.

21 06 2010
James Hunter

Kat
it may not make them gay,, but ,,maybe a little bit merry ?

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Shily,
Phew
wipe forhead.
You had me worried there until i reread. It is Proud you said not Prod.

17 06 2010
Jerry

http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/article/2007/12/06/8843_hpnews.html

I first read this article a couple of years ago online where the only headline that was available was ‘Poofters Beware’. The moment I saw that, I immediately thought of North Queensland. Imagine my (lack of) surprise when I opened the link…..

17 06 2010
urbanreverie

Ahh yes, the good old Townsville Bulletin. When I lived in TSV about ten years ago, the front page would often be devoted to the “parkies” – yes, they used this word in the headlines (parkie is derogatory slang in TSV for homeless indigenous people who sleep in city parks).

I’m surprised it wasn’t the Townsville Bulletin that had the “Poofters Beware” headline … it would fit that News Ltd. paper like a hand in glove!

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Parkies, Palmies (indigenous visitors from Palm Island), AJs (AKA army jerks), the Cowboys and crocodiles – that’s pretty much the Bully’s bread and butter.

I’m sure there are $httier places than Brownsville: Isa By The Sea, but I’ve yet to see one.

I was shocked that the story referred to Mish, though – it’s was always a favourite spot – very laid-back and live-and-let-live.

17 06 2010
Jerry

Those terms are starting to sound all-too-familiar. And just to top it all off…

http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/article/2008/03/04/11124_newsphoto.html

And apparently this still occurs on a frequent basis.

17 06 2010
urbanreverie

Wow. The Bulletin took the side of the gay pub! Even called the perpetrator a “gutless vandal”. Now if only they could show the same sympathy towards North Queensland’s indigenous population and the homeless.

And Tomba, I see your Townsville and raise you a Port Hedland in the competition to name Australia’s $hittiest town.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Urb, can’t take you on there. Haven’t been to PH.

I am, however, going to up the stakes with an unholy Qld trinity’o’shite towns: ROCKHAMPTON! (!pow!) GLADSTONE (!zap!) CABOOLTURE (!come back, you coward….!)

…and don’t make me unleash a Nambour on you….

18 06 2010
vivisection

Don’t forget Mackay, Sarina, Bowen and Gin Gin!

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Ah, Sarina. Luvverly Sarina.

You’re really getting down in the mud now.

18 06 2010
vivisection

I can smell the ethanol production plant as I think about it. mmmmm ethanol

18 06 2010
Tombarina

And the scenic AND fragrant salt flats and plant outside of Bowen – the perfect scene-setter for the town.

Oh, you’re taking me back, Vivi. Taking me somewhere I don’t wanna go. (That line’s reminding me of an early 80s song…Sharon O’Neill, I think…”Tea In China”?)

18 06 2010
urbanreverie

Believe me Tomba, you don’t WANT to go to PH. The whole CBD is rust. Yup. They built the town far too close to the iron ore ship loading facility (or vice versa) so the entire town centre is covered in iron dust. Along comes a cyclone to turn it into rust. Every roof, every sign post, every street light mast is deep burgundy rust.

Oh, and I didn’t notice too many indigenous people in town. Because the WA government in all its wisdom decided to build a huge public housing estate for them called South Hedland about 15 mins drive out of town surrounded by desert with few facilities! Brilliant! What a marvellous example of social inclusion! Town planners from all over the world are lining up to admire the social and economic conditions of South Hedland! Not to mention that the mining boom has priced everyone but the mine workers themselves out of the rental market.

Now back to QLD … Rockampton … only been there once, spent one night at a motel. The only dining option I could find near the CBD was Red Rooster. The only radio stations I could pick up were 4RO (standard commercial AM) and ABC Local Radio. I asked the guy behind the counter if there were any other stations, he went “Uhh … nup.” So I agree with you there.

Gladstone, haven’t been to. Caboolture, its only saving graces are the strawberry fields and its proximity to Bribie Island. Apart from that it’s a bogan hell. So, you win Tomba. I can’t think of three towns worse than your Unholy Trinity.

Though a couple of also-rans … Maryborough isn’t exactly paradise either (though it does have gorgeous architecture). And who can forget the sheer brazen tackiness of the Gold Coast?

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Urban, I have had the fortune to reside in both and Rocky is heaven compared to PH. However if you want to visit the arse end of the universe Halls Creek is just up the road! Not far from Fitzroy Crossing! And who can forget Roebourne!

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Charters Towers used to be a great place for a vacation too If I recollect correctly

20 06 2010
Whistling Nixie

@urbanreverie: “Caboolture, its only saving graces are the strawberry fields”

Let me take some downers,
‘Cos I’m going to
Strawberry fields
Dog food for meals

20 06 2010
Whistling Nixie

@Tombarina: Although I’ve never been up in that area (and am in no hurry to, either), my understanding is that Mount Morgan is even worse; it’s Rockhampton’s colostomy bag.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

I remember dining al fresco not far from the Sovereign several years ago and having my meal interrupted by a particularly dim-witted Cowboys NRL player was wandering around pi$$ed with his willy hilariously hanging out of his trousers, calling for volunteers to ‘kiss it better’.

The locals thought this was thigh-slappingly amusing – what a scamp! Drive-by dullards cheered on our hero, and his nearly-as-ridiculous mates.

Welcome to T’ville, where behaving like a complete feral bogan in public (as long as you’re white, and especially if you’re a meat-axe footballer) is acceptable, but the mere presence of a gay pub isn’t.

The best view of that place is in your rear-vision mirror as you drive out of there….at speed.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

My son hurt his little diddle the other day, and wanted me to kiss it better. He’s 2. ‘Nuff said.

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Yep. Age-appropriate.

Although, that probably works just as well for our footballing friend, if it applied to mental and social development age.

17 06 2010
Antosha

$hittier places than TSV? I can think of some eastern Siberian hamlets which are not too pleasant.

And closer to home, Newcastle takes the cake for me.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Agreed. Hate Newcastle. Always have. I have a special place in my hateheart for Hervey Bay, as well.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Shirl! I, too, am not an advocate for Le Bay. There’s something very creepy about it. Sort of a low-rent Truman Show meets Stephen King.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

My uncle used to live there, and he went to some pub with a broken leg. Some kind of brawl broke out, and a clarssy bitch nicked his crutches to crack skulls with. Noice.

18 06 2010
vivisection

I had to spend 6 weeks at the end of every year camping at Hervey Bay as a child – all because my mother loathed housework and thought camping at that dump was a better option!

17 06 2010
Pandabater

Is the term Homophobia being correctly used? As far as I can work out it is used today to describe someone with open hostility towards gay people but isn’t the phobia part meant to describe fear of something? To my way of thinking these are 2 different things. I am not afraid of homosexuals but I am uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality. It’s difficult to put my feelings into a form that won’t label me but I don’t have to like/celebrate something that makes me uneasy. I do not have a problem with people being gay, that is their own business & I will not nor do I have the right to judge how people lead their lives but it is not something that I find attractive. I will accept it but I do not have to celebrate it. I believe that I am a reasonable person & I will continue to judge people on their character & not by any race/colour/sexuality etc. I have been casually aquainted with gay people, some are nice people, some are arseholes same as everyone else. I am sorry if some of the terms/words I have used are offensive/incorrect but I hope that what I have written is taken in the spirit of sharing my feelings on the subject.

17 06 2010
Pandabater

I seems that I have been gazumped (so to speak) by the beginningof Vivi’s post above but I was writing for about an hour & did not see his post before I hit the submit button.

17 06 2010
vivisection

You are correct, it is the wrong word. A person isn’t called Asianphobic, they are called racist (or ignorant). As I said above, by claiming it as a phobia, it makes it excusable. In terms of your position, I think that is fair enough. I personally don’t feel easy about heterosexuality, and see no reason to celebrate it either. Yet find myself going to weddings with gifts in hand….

I guess gay people (myself at least) don’t expect everyone to like or celebrate us or on our behalf. What we do want is to be treated with respect and offered the same support that has been generously given to many other minority groups in the past who have faced legal and social discrimination (suffragettes, negro slaves, refugees, indigenous communities etc). I personally don’t want special treatment, just the same treatment afforded to everyone else.

17 06 2010
Pandabater

Cheers Vivi, It’s great that there is a place such as this where we can have this sort of exchange & remain civil which would not be possible in a lot of places.

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Excellent thread peeps.

You guys are awesome.

17 06 2010
urbanreverie

TBL. Thank you. I really mean it – thank you.

This blog certainly has its comic value, and God knows I’ve laughed manically often enough at the articles and the discussion threads. But TBL is so much more than that. It’s biting, accurate, edifying, incisive social commentary which points out what is so wrong with our society in a way that can almost bring a tear to my eye …

I grew up with bogan people in a bogan neighbourhood way out in the bogan suburban wastelands where most Australians are condemned to live. And I am not straight. And everything in this article, and the things Viv and others have said, are true.

Being socialised as a child in a culture where it’s perfectly acceptable to take up a career in petty crime or treat women like sexual chattels or spray-paint swastikas on motorway underpasses or do burnouts at the roundabout while pumping AC/DC at noxiously loud volumes – but NOT acceptable to be effeminate in any way, a culture in which armed robbers are held in more esteem than queers … and during adolescence, coming to the realisation that you are something that you were taught by countless jibes and careless comments in the playground and at the dinner table was repugnant and reprehensible – well, as Viv alluded to earlier, it can send you into a tailspin of depression and anxiety. Something compounded by extremely negative reactions from family.

I’m now approaching middle age, and it’s only now that I can say that I’m well on the way to self-acceptance, and that I’m “un-learning” all the stupid, baseless, immoral prejudices that a childhood in a bogan district inculcates in you from the moment you leave the womb. This is my personal victory over the bogan. My way of saying “f#$^ you” to these creeps that are a blight on our society.

I can also say that moving from said bogan district to an inner-city district helped a lot. In the block of ten flats that I live in, three of us are queer – and that’s only the ones I know of! I would heartily recommend that any same sex-attracted young adult in the boganic wastelands who is being harmed by the conflict between their environing culture and their sexuality should consider moving to an area that’s more inclusive and accepting.

Anyway, that’s my story I wanted to share. Cathartic! But what I’d also like to know is – WHY? Why is the bogan so damn prejudiced? You can’t say religion. Despite the growth of “megachurches” in certain districts like The Hills Shire in NSW or the City of Tea Tree Gully in SA, most bogans wouldn’t know what a hymnal or an altar was if it came up and bit them on the nose.

Is it the media? No. Not even the “trashmedia kraken” (guffaw) stoops so low to engage in hostile queer-baiting – with the possible exception of one or two News Ltd. columnists.

Is it history? Perhaps. Folk cultural attitudes have a habit of being persistent, long after official/elite attitudes have changed (e.g. attitudes towards multiculturalism, towards mental illness, etc.)

I just hope that Viv is right and that those folk-level attitudes will fade away within 20 years.

17 06 2010
vivisection

I will remain living in the gay ghetto / buggery belt until things improve too!

17 06 2010
Antosha

Well said Mr Urban. Well said indeed.

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Beautifully poignant.

And I concur heartily on your observation about the multifaceted nature of TBL. Sure, there’s $hits’n’giggles aplenty, but also some pretty incisive social commentary, sharing of views and, occasionally, a thread which makes me question my views or opinions.

Thanks for your contribution, Urb. Loved it.

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Urban

Awesome, thank you. I’m glad you’re starting to accept yourself. And I’m glad that the Bogan didn’t bring you so down that hurt yourself. 😀

Warm and fuzzies.

20 06 2010
Whistling Nixie

@urbanreverie: “I would heartily recommend that any same sex-attracted young adult in the boganic wastelands who is being harmed by the conflict between their environing culture and their sexuality should consider moving to an area that’s more inclusive and accepting”

The problem is that not everyone can afford to live in the inner city anymore. And unfortunately, leaving gays, aesthetes, eccentrics etc to rot in beer-and-belting suburbs has NOT seen improvements in those suburbs, but instead led to such characteristics being beaten out of gays, aesthetes, eccentrics etc. Inner city yuppification has been disastrous.

21 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

And what compounds it are those types on the uppermost fringes of boganry—the professional CUB. These are the types who make an awful amount of money from speculation and trading of such items as property, shares, vehicles, appliances and equipment. In most cases, a university-level education is not necessary and when it is, the course is strictly vocational. These are the types you’ll often see motoring about in either BMW or Mercedes coupes (Audis are far too subtle for them generally).

These are the spivvy types who think they’re too good for the hoi-polloi of outer suburbia: they want a piece of the inner-city/inner-suburbs action and to have some of the cachet, that those of alternative lifestyles have conferred upon the area, rub off (selectively) onto them. Once these flashies have an area in their crosshairs, they’ll bring their spec-house developer’s ethos (or lack-of-thereof) to the area and price it out of contention, when all their buddies outbid the current inhabitants that made the area what it is. Then it just becomes another trendy (rather than hip) cashed-up ghetto, once all those previous denizens move away and a wash of sterility changes the character into just another anodyne dormitory suburb, albeit a more vertical version closer to town.

The yuppie or wanker, whatever you like to call them, are just bogans in same-old designer suits, but with the labels cut off. They are just as prone to the virus of conspicuous consumption to the ones who work in the moines or building industry; instead these folks are the overlords of the ones who populate outer suburbia, although their worldview is completely interchangeable.

As TISM sang in “Whatareya”, both of them are equally ugly, but the wanker hides it better. Not to mention spoil the areas they colonise.

21 06 2010
urbanreverie

Whistling & Turnips, we are of one mind here. I’m sick of the yuppification of the inner city too. Especially developments such as Docklands in Melbourne and Green Square in Sydney which have zero to stuff-all affordable housing built into them. All glass and steel with a bit of old brick kept to give it all an oh-so-slight edgy feel.

I yearn for the day when we finally have a government that has the guts to introduce a decent affordable housing policy and will put an end to this whole “let the market rip” ethos which has devastated our cities’ social cohesion. Man, in a sense I wish I were born two decades earlier, so I could live in the inner city in the 1970s/1980s, when the inner city was grotty and down-at-heel but at least it was affordable and not so yuppified.

And Turnips, I know exactly what you mean by the inner-city CUB wanker. Let me guess …. far too much gel in their spiked hair, rimless glasses (if they wear specs), unusually shaped sideburns, garish ties (lime green or purple seem to be in ATM), a great fondness for locally produced foreign beer (Stella and Carlsberg seems to be the go right now)? Working in jobs such as PR/marketing, luxury car dealerships, “consultants” and the like? Funnily enough I never thought of them as bogans (just wankers and/or yuppies), but now that you’ve made me think about it, yes they’re new-age bogan – the lack of empathy, the materialism, the “bugger you I’m all right Jack” attitude, the inability to delay gratification (and consequent excessive personal debt).

The only difference is that the yuppie CUB has a sharper dress sense than the ordinary bogan.

23 06 2010
euro goth bogue

and once they moved near their favorite pubs/clubs they try to shut them down cos they r too loud for their cheaply built expensive excuses for a house/flat and destroy everything they wanted to b close to.

17 06 2010
Steve

One day Australia will progress to the “I’m not a homophobe, but…” stage.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Best post today. Except for all mine of course.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Been away most of day and just noticed ; it appears you have all been spared the attentions of “spot”,”dot. or BFF (Big Fat F#$%^&) today ??
Maybe Homophobia is her “Soft “Spot”” ??

17 06 2010
Antosha

LOL Mr Hunter!

Good point.. no ‘spot’ to be seen anywhere…

Mayhaps a NSW supporter… wallowing in his/her (how does one establish the gender of a punctuation mark anyway?) mysery…

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Big Fat Floppy Jaloppies generally only makes an appearance when race is pertinent the the topic du jour. Her Wii Fit appearance did seem odd at first, but then I realised, Wii..nintendo…asia…asians…yeah.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
I only refer to “it”, usually ,as “Period”

I think “it” pretty much says “it” all.

Although “Period” has conotations.
What say You ?

18 06 2010
Antosha

You are a master of the double entendre Mr Hunter.

I say, you weren’t at some point in your life a script write for ‘Are You Being Served?’ were you ???

Might I add.. that post of yours will certainly have ‘it’ seeing ‘red’ !!

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
score 78968
straight to the finals for that!
Never worked on the scripts for anything actually but did grow up on a diet of Oscar Wilde and P.G. Wodehouse .
Wilde is my real soul mate if you like.His use of the English language is exquisite .
Mind you, Winston Churchill our own Robert Menzies and of latter years Paul Keating were not to be trifled with

21 06 2010
Antosha

As Churchill would have put it…

TBL will fight on.. “if necessary for years. If necessary… alone.”

17 06 2010
vivisection

i’m just embarassed for you. really.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Mostly I find ignoring him best.

He is not a very bright chappy and seems to enjoy the sound of his own monologues, Get it into a debate and it is pathetic.

Looking at the lack of functioning synapses drugs are a possible cause giving me cause to suspect that the crack he is most familiar is the one he smokes.

17 06 2010
Shirley M

James Hunter. You have NEVER ignored dear little Petey once! Shame on you.

17 06 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Well I thought it was OK.

17 06 2010
Tombarina

I’m thinking of a word, Peter. Rhymes with “knob”.

Oh! I’ve spoiled the surprise…

17 06 2010
Tombarina

BTW, Pete, full props for finding time in your super-busy schedule to compose this lengthy ode to Viv.

I do hope it didn’t impinge on your hard day’s work blogging on the culinary virtues of Austrian Cabbage. The world needs to know the truth, dammit! If you don’t stick up for Austrian Cabbage, who will?

17 06 2010
vivisection

It is flattering to know he cares so much to dig out his old record collection and spend the afternoon composing all on my account. Pity about the lame song choice, i’d have preferred something a little more contemporary. Just a sign of the silly old fart’s aging sensibility. Still, who doesn’t love a novelty song!

17 06 2010
Tombarina

Would have been nice if he’d combined his two obsessions du jour – you and cabbage.

Sadly, there’s a dearth of novelty songs about cabbages. Although exhaustive research (thanks, Google!) reveals the Beach Boys did record a ditty entitled Vegetables in 1967:

I’m gonna be round my vegetables
I’m gonna chow down my vegetables
I love you most of all
My favorite vege-table
If you brought a big brown bag of them home
I’d jump up and down and hope you’d toss me a carrot

Rich pickings, non?

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina
a true case of “non ami”

17 06 2010
vivisection

Oh a surf song from his Salad Days no less. He was surfing in 1973 at Copacabana Beach, NSW no less. If I recall his fascinating blog correctly.

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
What would be a real novelty would be peter composing a song about himself
Hahahahahahahah

17 06 2010
vivisection

Folks , I have an awkward predicament. Perhaps it’s time for a Dear Peter question:

Dear Peter, I have an etiquette question and I believe your many, many years of experience may be able to guide me. I will try to use short, simple words to make it easier for you. In recent months, whilst on the Shiny Book Web, an elderly coot has been reading my every comment and saving up the info i have posted about myself.

Even though he has on numerous occasions outwardly declared his homophobic dislike for anything gay, today, on a site discussing the bogan penchant for homophobia, he curiously decided to take the opportunity to post a lengthy dittie dedicated especially to me.

My question, am i obliged to write an equally lengthy song or poem in return? And if you think I do, would you have a few words or phrases that rhyme with Sad Kunt that I may borrow?

Eagerly awaiting your reply. Hopefully you haven’t taken yourself yet, after all its just gone 8.

Vivisection

17 06 2010
Pandabater

Vivi, I suggest the following

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/red+hot+chili+peppers/pea_20114798.html

Sorry, can’t work out this copy paste stuff.

17 06 2010
Antosha

ALAS !! Love it! Go Viv!

17 06 2010
vivisection

James , I can see where this is heading, i think he may be on his 6th beer and before he broaches the topic, there’s no way I’m doing a threesome. He’s all yours.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Actually, I am surprised at the song choice, I would have expected something to the tune of “Roll Out the Barrel” or its a long way to “Tipparary”

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Re the threesome we are on the same channel.
Maybe after hes had another sixpack he can do the threesome on his own ?

Anyways welcome to the not so exclusive club of those that are stalked by Peter.

17 06 2010
vivisection

Are there any benefits to club membership? Discounted prescriptions? A free train trip twice a year? Full access to his riveting restaurant reviews of Crows Nest and surrounds?

17 06 2010
James Hunter

Petey will need all the discounted prescriptions he can get I think.
Maybe free access to group therapy sessions ? Hm Cept they dont seem to do him much good.
I dont want a free membership to the Liberal Party.

I Know, His autograph. in years to come it may be valuable and if not we can always wipe our bums on it

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Oh Petey. Dear little Petey. This is a fine effort, however I’m disappointed that there weren’t more graphic, insulting and juvenile references to Viv’s homosexuality.

I love you, Petey. xxx

17 06 2010
Shirley M

Again little Petey. I’m disappointed. Your efforts at syllabic matching are shithouse at best. ‘May hepatitis stay away from you’? Really? Best you can do?

I love you Petey. xx

18 06 2010
vivisection

Good lord Shirley, you read that much of it? Masochist

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

This is similar in premise to a version in an Aunty Jack Show spinoff, featuring a newish Norman Gunston introducing an act that that sang that same song, except that everywhere they went was Woolongong, except once, for when they went to Dapto. Which is a suburb of the ‘Gong.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@peter
where’s mine?
(I’m hoping for something along the lines of ‘outside the wall’ by pink floyd or ‘smash it up’ by the damned.
…no wait! ‘new race’ by radio birdman.
but just the chorus…

18 06 2010
vivisection

Oh Pinky, so lucky, he stayed up all night for you! It does show in the standard of his work, but i’m sure that after a few hours of working The Stranger and doing god only knows what to a hollowed out Austrian Cabbage filled with gravy, he must have been exhausted by the time he turned his thoughts to you.

No doubt the poor old man is off to bed for the day to catch his rest before arising later tonight to perhaps review the new Mai Thai takeaway in Crows Nest – no doubt he’s heard about a Hot Asian Skirt working there and desires a good Pad Thai and leer. Welcome to the club – we haven’t found any benefit to being in it yet, but you at least have James Hunter and I to keep you company 🙂

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
What an exclusive club we belong to !!
The Perer Stalkee Club !
What a club to aspire to, Peter is bound to have readers clamouring to be considered.
Still even with “Just the Three Of Us” we will be able to spend quality time together comparing the monologues dedicated to us. Way to go ?

18 06 2010
Antosha

You are indeed fortunate Mr Hunter.

As cabbages one of the staple food items here, I am going to give Peter’s ‘recipe for success’ a whirl over the weekend.

I will post the results once I am checked out of the clinic.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
Ha, if you find the inmates are running the asylum,please be careful of any staff member who looks remotely like Peter.
Particularly if he brings medication or food. You know what they say about Greeks bearing gifts.

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m so there JH!!

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Vivi

WOO HOO

Did he have a go at my mental health? I got to the end of the second sentence and couldn’t read any more.

Sorry* for the late reply, have had a full on weekend and have been setting up my new mac. WOOT

Do we have meetings? Do we have an FB page? hmmm

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

…oh and “Good Morning Gold Coast!”
chubby and edna reporting from Nerang on our way to smowhere nicer
😀
@Tomba: I call Gympie for the quinella!

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Judging by your peregrinations, you should be hitting Gumpie later today. Windows up. Don’t make eye contact. No sudden movements. And mind the pitchforks.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

*Sound of dueling Banjoes*

Dalang, dalang Dalang lang

18 06 2010
vivisection

Does Gympie still have it’s own slightly smaller Big Pineapple / petrol station? A must do if you are in town.

18 06 2010
Tombarina

I’d forgotten about that. It was quite apologetic, really, in comparison to its oversized cousin down the Bruce.

So many big things up the Qld coastline – pineapple, cow, mango, gumboot, Brahman. There’s a servo near Charters Towers sporting what purports to be a giant gold nugget on the roof. Goldy-coloured paint is long-gone and it’s now a sullen grey-brown. It’s known as The Big Turd.

Nanango was looking for something ‘big’ to define itself about 10 years ago – something which really encapsulated the region. Suggestions included The Big Marijuana Leaf and The Big Pregnant Teenager.

Quensland. Bless. Wouldn’t live anywhere else.

18 06 2010
vivisection

Tiaro – the Big Bypass

18 06 2010
Tombarina

…and Gatton. And Oakey. And Tugun – although that one just bypasses you through more crappy parts of the Goldie, so I don’t really rate it.

20 06 2010
Whistling Nixie

@Tombarina: “So many big things up the Qld coastline – pineapple, cow, mango, gumboot, Brahman”
And don’t forget the newest one, The Big White elephant (officially known as the CLEM7 tunnel) in the state capital.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

brand new, live from the goldy;
a sticker in the shape of Oz with the boxing kangaroo superimposed and the legend “fit in or f@ck off”
full back windscreen sized.
the creativity of the bogue knows no bounds.
delicious. pity I couldn’t wait aroumd to see the retard responsible.
we will observe, at this juncture that in lour recent experience such phenomena is pretty much confined to urban areas.
“out bush” in “the real australia” we don’t see it much. with the exception of the grey nomads (who are effing ubiquitous) who frequently sport “if you don’t like it leave” sentiments in decal form on their absurdly over capitalised caravans and fourbies. there is a certain delicious irony to moi in these sentiments, but there’s just no point arguing. lets face it, if you’re shallow enough to swallow that guff in the first place….

19 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Here’s a gem for you Chubby, fresh from The Worst of Perth, from our very own sh¡thole south of Freo, Rockingham.

I mean, WTFNext? “Franga Pride”, “‘Gong Pride” or “Hunna Pride”?

18 06 2010
Ronny Jonny

Let’s not forget a couple of time honoured practices from the “footy sheds”.
Pissing on other mens legs in the shower and that old source of much hilarity, shoving the bar of soap up your mates arse. Nothing gay about a little anal rape with an inanimate object. if you actually profess to being a little miffed at this behaviour it must be because you enjoyed it…

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

omg!
Brewery Tour!
bogan nirvana.
see where the heineken comes from…
that’s right!
Beenleigh

18 06 2010
vivisection

don’t forget to stop off at the rum distillery !!

18 06 2010
Antosha

Last October I went on the Heineken Brewery tour in Amsterdam.. and saw Europe’s equivalent of the bogan! Hundreds of them !

Then to my amazement.. Cue English, American and Australian accents…

ALAS !!!!

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Dutch beer, is the second best thing about Holland. The best thing is the autobahn that leads to Germany.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

logan hyperdome.
that one just stands alone.

(though the semi homophonic nomenclature is almost irresistable – I mean Logan Central… C’mon!)
underwood
springwood
shailer park
(sure I scored smack in shailer park once)
this is just from the freeway…
no wonder ppl think qld is bogan if this is the gateway.

18 06 2010
Shirley M

Logan Bogandome. Congregation point of the largest number of teenage mothers and their unfortunately named offspring in Australia.

18 06 2010
Antosha

Wind your windows up and lock your doors.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

edna has requested that she be distanced in the strongest possible terms from previous comments I may have made regarding cottage industry provendores in or around the shailer park region.
it was the nineties, she was probably only about ten years old and we were most definately not in a relaionship at that time.
for myself I will add that I certainly do not do that sort of thing anymore.
just…
there was a glut. it was hard not to.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That is why you are our Professor of Pharmanautics Chub. For lunch I would suggest a smorgesboard at the nearest RSL. You will probably see Peter there writing a review.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
I can just immagine the review:
The first beer was excellent, the glass clean and the beer came with a nice head.
The cecond beer was same as trhe first.
The third beer was pretty good and they are still giving me a clean glass with each one, a good sign.
Fourth beer…
Fifth beer….
Sixth …..
Seventh…
Eight….
Ninth….
Tenth…
Eleventh Beer schill swerving straight spleers.
Twelveth beer, smatter, i juss wanna nuther bleer
don wanna go nooo . leeeve me lone ore isllcrallme mum, sheszell fizyous
..??

18 06 2010
vivisection

13th beer ” wheres me austrian cabbage – Adolf, Adolf, Adolf, come to Pappa – Adoooolf. daddys horneeeee. I love you adolf….”

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
Must have been Peter that I saw on TV , group in thearapy painting, and there was this dude painting a thin black mustach on a cabbage.
Never clicked till now.

18 06 2010
vivisection

Had a carved a luscious Nigella Lawsonesque mouth into it to? And some wobbley eyes stuck on?

18 06 2010
vivisection

“Had he carved ..” ..

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That is much more interesting than Peters reviews.

On another note have you ever taken your beagles on a hunt JH. We did the other day for the first time and it was great.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon, No we havent but sounds like it would be good for them.
We do make sure that they get at least half an hour every day walkies and on Sundays we have an athletics training woman comes and takes them for a 45 min run.
I made a two into one Y lead that we can attach to one of those 20Mtr extendo leads.
At the Hunts is there much walking or running required by the people?

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No the hounds do all the running. A trail is laid by dragging something dead behind a motorbike and then the hounds are released to run the scent. There are different abilities. Richo was a novice so they run a scent about 200m long. Not sure he really knew what was going on scent wise, just ran off with the other hounds. Once they get the hang of it trails going up to 10 km are set. You just wait at the end for them to show up.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I was going to write Peter a song called “All my friends are Imaginary” sung to the tune of a Skyhooks classic, but I really could not be f*cked.

18 06 2010
vivisection

Totally understood. I too made every effort to help reduce the glut back in the 90’s. It was the done thing at the time.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

riverside
turbot st
valley
the wickham!
hi from the wickham Viv.
great night out.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

jesus!
look what happened to hamilton!

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@simon
just passed the brekky creek before, think I saw peter cockneck asleep out the front.
still commiserating the SoE

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bloody hell!
there’s two gateway bridges!
or I’m having a flashback.

@simon.
saw peter asleep in the gutter outside the brekky creek. still sleeping off the SoE.
he’ll never admit he loves league.
or the Den

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think Peter loves a few things he will not admit to. Ferrets are one of them.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Ferrets, OMG, Lady at a place where I weorked last bought her ferret in to the office for a day, later in the week i bought my beagle in to office. Beagle spent all day vacuuming every square inch of the place and mooved drawers filing cabinetes and all looking for it.
Maybe a ferret is what we need for bait in a Beagle hunt ?

However re peter peter cabbage ( doesnt fit in like pumpkin does it) eater
I immagine him with his trowsers full of ferrets wow way to go.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

The dead thing is soaked in tuna oil to make it more obvious. A ferret could be good. Do you think Peter would lend us one of his?

18 06 2010
James Hunter

That would be fun especially the removing of the ferret from Peter.?

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m going to leave that bit to you as a man of experience JH.

18 06 2010
vivisection

Just send a beagle in. Or is that cruelty to animals?

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Probably cruelty to animals and your not using my sweet innocent Beagles !
Better to borrow a pig dog from a bogan ?

18 06 2010
vivisection

Perhaps an american pit bull – get it riled up with the mixed scents of austrian cabbage and ferret and let it go.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Just immagine it with its jaws locked on Peters ferret. Makes me come all over weak and dissy

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

LOL.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I am not sure my beagle would go there Viv. Beagles are not real fussy but that is probably a bridge too far.

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Shouldn’t imagine it’d be a chuckle-buffet for the ferret.

The beagle should be OK, though.

18 06 2010
vivisection

It would be humane to the ferret given its current circumstance in Peter’s pants.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@viv.
I’m sure our efforts were appreciated.
think of the battery acid and other nasties we diverted from all those kiddies.
should get a medal.

18 06 2010
vivisection

I know , another Queens birthdays passes by and still no f#ckin honours! I’m outraged.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

@ james.
LOL.

northside now.
nice here.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

is it friday?
where’s our bloody Bogan Bribe Watch?

…I mean I can sit here and rack up the comments count all day if you like, but…

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Lets hope TBL is not involved in research that involves drinking beers with Peter ?

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

so…
did my comment querying the whereabouts of today’s Bogan Bribe Watch go up?
Optus 3G is seeeeriously pus.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yes Chub. I was thinking the same but amusing myself by taunting Peter.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

from all evil comes some good

18 06 2010
Pandabater

No Bogan Bribe Watch this week, we are stuck in some sort of RSPT Groundhog Day, it could & probably will go on for months (more).

18 06 2010
Antosha

Just imagining the beagles following Peter’s scent…

They’d all be drunk within 3 minutes !

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

The fumes would blow out their olfactory system for sure Antosha.

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Would that mean the beagles were drunk on the scent of Peter OR drunk on the scent of a”peter”

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’d go with the Peter!

18 06 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Spoil sport, the dogs love sausages!

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bugger.
couldn’t TBL just delete those obvious reiterations?
or maybe they like to let us look like arse halves…
I’m doing fine on my own thanks.

btw Southern Cross sticker count stands at seven for this morning, but we’ll be passing the sunny coast soon, so you can expect a bit of a spike there.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

bribie island.
y’know perth always reminded me of bribie.
and adelaide always reminded me of perth, but with less money and more class

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Ah, Bribie. Caboolture-By-The-Sea.

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Hi Chubb & Edna

Hope the drive’s going well, despite the prevalence of the Aussie Swazi. Never been to Bribie Island—or Queensland, for that matter. But what you said about Adelaide being like Perth, but with less money and more class rings totally true, as a reluctant Sandgroper meself. In fact, here it is almost considered rude not to talk about the potential value of your property immediately after greeting a visitor. A great place if you’re into “Family Values”, or a speculator spiv on the take. Or preferably both.

If it weren’t for family ties, I’d have probably moved away from Dullsville, as what some of us label Perth. On The Worst of Perth, there’s a t-shirt that calls Perth the Bunbury of the North, given the latter is a somewhat dull place amongst many other charming or interesting ones in the Southwest. Not quite as shouse as Port Hedland, but similarly dreary.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

this is why people twitter right?

i never quite got that.

I should just get my own damn blog when I’m in this mood.

f@ck it too lazy,
I mean, ADD.

it’s the ADD

18 06 2010
Shirley M

Right. However I think the 140 character limit may be infuriating to you.

18 06 2010
Sten

Heh heh… they have drugs for that, Chub.

18 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

I too had ADHD, long before it became a fashionable diagnosis applied to thuggish kids, who display none of the genius that those truly afflicted often possess.

I’d be craptastic at Twitter, simply because I struggle with brevity all-too-often. It’s great at times to wax lyrical, prolix with purple prose, but even I realise that I should get to the kernel of the message of what I’m saying more often.

Maybe I should do tweets as a means of practicing succinct communication. But there’s one undeniable benefit of being verbose: it sends the bogan scurrying, after the obligatory comment questioning my sexual orientation, which I couldn’t care less about anyway.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

edna is road raging.
chubby massages her neck with his biiiig stroooong hands.

@ shirley
140? I could totally do that, why, my capacity for brevity and succinticity has been one of the characteristics of chubbybloodfart which so many commenters and, no doubt, our esteemed bloggers themselves, have become so enamoured of these past few sets of thirty odd. in fact I think my mastry of the pithy rejoinder and succinct, yet illuminating anecdote would adapt with the greatest facility to the medium of twittersphere.
surely you’d follow me?
maybe you already do…

s

18 06 2010
Shirley M

Yes. I would follow you, if I don’t already, which I might.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chub,

Have you checked out Fi’s twit site. Could provide a role model to you. I think you should stay here though. I can’t be bothered with twitter or faceplant myself.

18 06 2010
Sten

Don’t forget the original, Simon, from the days of relative yore, when social networking was largely the domain of pathetic Emo kids… I refer, of course, to CrySpace.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

chubbybloodfart truly stunned at the scale of terra forming involved in new bruce hwy construction south of gympie.
humbling.
…in the sense that when jah sent adam and eve out and gave them dominion over the earth,
I don’t think this is what he had in mind.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

As you head up the road you will go through a town famous for it’s pies. Can’t think of the name, perhaps one of our Qlders can help.

This is no idle boast, their pies are seriously good.

Then you will get to my short lived home town Rocky, statues of bulls and 4 fastfood joints on every intersection. It is Australia’s fattest town. I look forward to your report Chub and Edna.

18 06 2010
vivisection

You’re not talking about Sauers Pies in Maryborough are you?

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No, Further up, I am resorting to google, hold on.

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Got it, Gin Gin.

18 06 2010
vivisection

They ought to build a Big Pie, cause they don’t have much else going for them in Gin Gin!

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Aw come on there’s the… um the, you know that feature, ………………….. damn fell asleep thinking about it.

18 06 2010
Sten

Big Pie… sounds like a fantastic idea to me, Viv… (seriously contemplating what to have for lunch here).

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

May I recommend a Gin Gin Pie, you could meet Chub and Edna there.

18 06 2010
Sten

That’s quite a way from the city dignity forgot (I refer, of course, to Sydney).

18 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

True, unless you feel like a weekend away Sten. To discover some dignity of course, but on second thoughts a trip to the land time forgot may not help with that.

18 06 2010
Sten

Oh, I have some small measure of dignity, living on the northern outskirts as I do. No, if I’m going anywhere anytime soon, it’ll be back to Europe (no Contiki tours for me, thanks). Germany (if I wasn’t living in Australia, I’d be living there) for the most part, but wouldn’t mind a quick jaunt to Hungary and the Baltics.

18 06 2010
Tombarina

Weirdly, for an inland down, they also do brilliant mud crab sandwiches at Gin Gin. Miriam Vale, too.

18 06 2010
Antosha

@ Sten

The Baltics are quite nice. Just avoid the English chavs on their bucks nights and you’ll be fine.

This particular Eastern European based Queenslander got particularaly sunburned drinking beers in the town square in Riga last Spring.

18 06 2010
Jay

Yatala, down Beenleigh way, was (maybe still is?) well known for its pies in the days when I lived in Queensland. Kilcoy Bakery was also a highly recommended pie-haunt. Sounds like Queensland has the whole pie thing down to a bit of an artform 😛

18 06 2010
Sten

Even their mass-market pies aren’t too bad these days. I’m quite enamoured of Sargents new(ish) Chicken, Potato and Bacon pies.

Might have one for lunch, come to think of it.

18 06 2010
vivisection

In no time at all it’ll be the Bowel Cancer Capital of the World! Imagine the marketing opportunities then.

18 06 2010
chubbybloodfart

alas, the little big pineapple has gone from Gympie. there appears to be an Aldi where it once stood. in commiseration there is essentially a four lane highway through Gympie making ones stay deliciously more brief.
we are sojourning at Agnes this eve, so will endeavour to research Gin Gin pies tomorrow.
thanks for the tips.
we love bakery goods in all their myriad forms, but reserve a special afficiance with the meat pie.

18 06 2010
common man

i loved how some critisism was responed to by all.If you were accepting of other’s like most ignoring/not caring was the answer? the same attitude held for gender confused folk.ps thanks for the giggles pete and closet labour commentator ruled to the others.lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 06 2010
vivisection

CM: What do gender confused folk have to do with homophobia as a topic? If the topic was transphobia, then it would be relevant. Its wrong to assume that all gay people are transgendered and that all transgendered people are gay.

Sexuality and Gender are different issues. Gender is how you identify as male, female or inbetween, sexuality is how you are attracted to sexually.

The two minorities have worked together for many years, and it was in fact transgender people who started the Stonewall Riots and effectively the Gay rights movement. However many trans people today are tired of being lumped in with gay issues at the cost of their own being ignored.

18 06 2010
brad

Viv you just made me realise there are four types of sexuality-
hetreosexual
homosexual
bi-sexual
married(no sex)

19 06 2010
vivisection

5 actually – pansexuals – will root anything

19 06 2010
Tombarina

Isn’t that just a bogan with a skinful?

Most I’ve seen in that state would shag a hole in a lump of timber. Or the cat.

19 06 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina
Is tha the bogan iteration of “stalking Pussy”

19 06 2010
brad

thanks for the heads-up didnt even think of that! Blow-updoll enthuisuasts/Kiwi farmers/Greek morticiations(Confarkathekarcus)

18 06 2010
Will S

Things Bogans Like, 149.1: Prefacing homophobic statements with “I’m not homophobic, but…”

18 06 2010
Andrew

the homophobes are out in force today on the Daily Telegraph website… outrage that “taxpayers’ funds” are being used to fund sex education for gay men…

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw-act/tax-funds-gay-sex-training-program/comments-e6freuzi-1225881084479

but of course said bogans will be applauding the new paid maternity leave provisions which most taxpaying gay people will never ever lay eyes on… again highlighting the bogan’s mentality that taxpayer dollars are only good when it’s spent on them and when it’s spent on anyone else then it’s wasteful.

19 06 2010
James Hunter

But Andrew,
Didnt you realise that gay men dont pay tax ? Even a bogan would know that !!

19 06 2010
Tombarina

Kudos, Petey. You’re improving.

The chorus, in particular, is droll. The intro is silly and the first chorus is tosh which simply doesn’t scan, but the second is rather good.

I think Chub will be quite chuffed. Especially considering that while he was snuggled up, warm and oblivious, to the lovely Edna in a delightful seaside village while holidaying, you were burning the midnight oil obsessively composing in his honour.

Sten, James, Simon, Shirl, T-Ra, Edna, Antosha, Will S, Mick, Glass Em All, Common Man, Brad, The Mon, Fiona, Urbanrev, Turnips, Martin, SD, Miss Dahl, Nelson, Panda, Hel, PB, Brim, Tone, Anti-Pajero, Reparty, Sibyl, myself and other regulars now await our tuneful salutes.

19 06 2010
Shirley M

If someone were to salute me in the format of a popular tune from days gone by, I’d like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John.

19 06 2010
pb

i don’t mind mostly what mine is, as long as it isn’t anything by dire straits or the eagles.

19 06 2010
Tombarina

And I’ll be a very sad panda if I get anything by The Beatles. Never saw what all the fuss was about…..

19 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

However, I’ll gladly take those altered Lennon/McCartney (or Harrison) tunes off your hands if you like, even if I cop a roast in the process.

Mmm, roasted turnips…

19 06 2010
James Hunter

Dont know about roast turnips but how does roast Beetroot (most apropo concidering the Homophobia headline) with roast Pork hocks sound . Brocolli , carrotts and fluffy roast potatoes. Oh and a light mustard sauce.

19 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Everything you suggested—especially roasted beetroots, nom, nom, nom!—sounds delectable, except the hock, given that I’m a vegetarian (for the record, I have no issue with others eating meat, I just choose not to myself for manifold reasons).

Whenever I state, amongst some circles, that I abstain from fur, feather and fin, I often get perplexed looks and quizzed on how I couldn’t find a freshly carved roast or sizzling bacon at all appetising. And especially relevant to this topic, I have had a couple people (with strong boganic tendencies, natch) querying my sexual orientation because of my refusal to take the express route to bowel cancer by eating red meat in maxxxtreme (or any) quantity.

19 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

JH, was that not a subtle innuendo that dinner, or is that I have a dirty mind, requesting to have my lunch wrapped and all that nonsense?

19 06 2010
James Hunter

Make of it what you will but my thought train was:
Turnips
Other root vegetables,beetrootcooking in kitchen .old joke about you can beet an egg but you cant beet a root.
Our Dinner on Cooking accurately described
So it was no more than that.

As an asside I am sure you have answeres for all the old stories about our dentition reflecting our diet and eskimoes having very healthy bodies and the bodies lack of ability to synthasise most amino acids predicating a dietry source of all of them ?
Oh and farmers of pigs which phisiologically are very similar to ourselves cannot get decent groth rates, lean meat or animals healthy enough to bread reliably with out feeding them animal protine?

20 06 2010
miss dahl

What’s the connection between vegetarianism and sexual; orientation? Someone enlighten me.

21 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

If you go behind enemy lines, i.e. go to a gathering where the bogans feel at ease, like a BBQ or a buffet (which happens occasionally with some parts of my family), and they notice that you don’t have any meat of any type on your plate. They start to think that something’s wrong with that picture: hey, why isn’t he gettin’ his teeth around a snagger, steak or chop?

Immediately, the bogan begins to twig that you’re not quite one amongst them and starts interrogating you; early on, I foolishly rose to the bait and stated my reasons why I refrain. Intrigued, they’d then pump me for more information by asking other questions, like vehicular, sporting, televisual and musical preferences, of which I would proceed to give them answers that fell well outside of their gamut. Hell, I even allowed myself to make known my difference of opinion of matters sociopolitical when they asked for my views on such things.

Well, what I feckin’ earnest mug was I!

After about half-a-dozen-or-so aspects of my being revealed, they would then compute that because I didn’t comply with their standards of conformity, they would finally surmise that I must be a bit of a pinko lefty fag, from which I respectfully would disengage myself, in order to avoid escalation and a potential glassin’. So that’s where the link is; I didn’t even have to broach anymore than two topics—one of which was why I didn’t have a piece of steak—in one instance for some bellicose dimwit to question my sexual orientation explicitly.

Needless to say, I avoid any further discussion out of self-respect, as much of self-preservation!

19 06 2010
martin

To me that’s like saying what was good about the Renaissance. I had a big Beatles period in my life. But whenever I had them on during social gatherings I kind of got a response similar to what taking a shit in the middle of the room would have. So I respect your opinion. Although I’m sure you would at the very least respect The Beatles my friends in my youth were primarily bogans so they never cared much for any music other than what might get them girls which was usually techno, dance and maybe a bit of indie and alternative.

Personally I never got Elvis.

20 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Yes, martin, similar story for me when I was about 12 when I fell to the charms of the Fab Four: I too was ridiculed, while they all got into the whiny hair-metal bands that polluted the airwaves in the late 80s.

However, my appreciation of The Beatles music afforded me insight into other musicians and groups, both past and contemporary, as I grew up. By the time my contemporaries and I were in senior high school in the early 90s, some of them who had mocked me four or five years prior, had too themselves come to appreciate and respect their lasting influence on popular music.

As for Elvis, I would have to agree with John Lennon, who said that Presley was great until he joined the US Army, where upon returning, had lost that raw energy that his 50s records had ably captured and just became a caricature of himself after that.

Also, thanks for your clarification, JH: I warned you that I was of a smutty mind. I have no probs with others consuming meat (I’m no vege-nazi!), but I feel that people would have a better appreciation of the fact that an animal had lived and then died to provide nourishment, if all omnivorous humans, at least once in their lifetime, actually caught or reared any animal—even a chicken, a fish or a crustacean—and slaughtered it and then eating it, being involved with the animal when it was a living entity and respecting the effort involved in the whole process. But factory farming has obliterated that concept and many folks—especially bogans who have little care for that cycle of life and death—have been far removed from the process, in all its gore and glory. Thus whenever I entertain guests who eat meat, poultry and fish, I make all endeavours to obtain those from the most ethical and sustainable sources, i.e. free range or biodynamic, or seafood from local fisheries.

20 06 2010
James Hunter

BoT
I understand exactly what your saying,
I grew up on a mixed farm and my job when I got home from school was to shoot rabbits for the dogs and the occasional nice younger ones for table.
We used to grow and eat our own lamb, pig and chooks and jointly kill and eat a bullock with our neighbours.
My first wife ,before she went to a better place,was a school teacher at Green Valley in Sydney, in those days, deepest housing commission area. The Young kids she used to take on a day trip to a dairy so they could see that milk didnt just come from a bottle.

20 06 2010
martin

Yeah well that’s it isn’t it. The Beatles basically invented pop music, or at least the pop music up until it became all technoy and hip hop like it is today.

They also covered the whole spectrum of music, especially on the white album, from hard rock like Helter Skelter to 20s type music, err forgotten the name of the song, and even kids songs like Buffalo Bill.

20 06 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Honey pie, a pastiche of that interwar style, with a rare Lennon solo, played in period jazz guitar style.

20 06 2010
miss dahl

In the recent past, there was talk of lab-creating steaks etc, for mass production. The rationale of this was to downscale the horror of battery farming, animal slaughter and address the “methane issue” emanating from livestock in fields. I would imagine this would be along the lines of stem cell science. Only for mass production to meet the needs of feeding populations who must eat meat. Haven’t heard much of late, but I guess some clever American or Euro is busy right now, as we write, in a lab somewhere doing just that. Knowing that your food never had a face and eyes or enjoyed the warmth of a sunny day or a kind word actually makes me feel good. I’m no vegetarian these days, but still feel the pang of guilt when I eat a steak.

20 06 2010
James Hunter

Miss Dahl,
It is good to remember that it is natures way to eat and be eaten. it is just that like sharks and lions we are at the top of the food chain.
It also means that our bodies evolved over millions of years to rely on an omniverous diet.
In a similar way that cats cannot live a long or healthy life with out lots of animal protien so we have developed such that we need a goodly percentage of it.
Also similarly cows eat grass and wouldnt know what to do with steak and eggs.
Unless you dont realy like being one of the most successful predators on the planet, then to my mind you may as well revell in your heritage.
Pass the steak tartare !

20 06 2010
martin

I feel guilty if it isn’t medium rare.

20 06 2010
martin

Anyway don’t they just use one of those thingies that the guy in “No country for old men” had. They kill the cows like it’s just a quick bullet to the head. So I can’t see them being in pain much at all throughout their lives. Not that I’d really know for sure.

There was a story on 60 minutes about how they kill the cows in some ( or maybe all I’m not sure ) Islamic countries. It was pretty gruesome and horrific for the cows so I won’t go into detail.

20 06 2010
James Hunter

Martin, What is used is known as a “captive bolt gun” Usually air powered ,shoots a steel bolt into the animals head rendering it unconscious , very raspidly then its throat is cut and the body hoisted by the achillies tendon so that the blood fully drains.
Similar thins for sheep , pigs are often electro shoched through the chest stopping the heart.Like a big Defibrillator.
Chickens I dont know what is current. Used to be they were hung by the neck and their heads cut of with a revolving blade.
Fish ,you know how thats done.
Its the vegies that get the cruel treatment. rooted out of the ground, arms and legs cut off then suffocated in plastic or frozen to death in CO2

20 06 2010
vivisection

Don’t say that near Shirley – we had a very big discussion after i said that the beatles were bogan music !! But we are good now hey Shirl 🙂

20 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I think you are right on that though Viv.

20 06 2010
Shirley M

Neil Young aficionados are not qualified to make that call I’m afraid, Simon.

21 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No, true, it makes me quite over qualified.

20 06 2010
Shirley M

I love you, Viv. (not in the same way I love Petey)

19 06 2010
Tombarina

Pete, apologies. I meant to bag the first VERSE, not the first chorus.

This error is particularly woeful, given that I had a full night’s repose before posting, whereas you were up all night, you poor old thing. Again, my apologies.

19 06 2010
Shirley M

Dear Petey,

It’s Ayn Rand, actually.

Love always,
Shirl.

20 06 2010
urbanreverie

Indeed. And her name is pronounced “ine”, rhymes with “dine”. Nothing like “Ann” at all.

19 06 2010
Shreiking Wombat
19 06 2010
Tombarina

I didn’t know it was called ‘hair tattoo’.

I knew it was vile and uberbogue, but I assumed it was just a couple of stoned kids with a stencil and a set of clippers. Wasn’t aware there was an entire cottage industry out there, with ‘artistes’ who practice their craft on the rude noggins of morons.

D!ckheads.

20 06 2010
pb

oh wombat, why did you reveal those to me? i’ve seen a few around, but i really did enjoy my ignorance to the wider craze. alas that ignorance is now gone.

21 06 2010
Shreiking Wombat

The true horror of this monstrosity was revealed to me on the weekend when I went to the local hairdressers to get a trim. There were three bogans lined up to get their hair tattoo.

I assume they were part of a wedding party.

19 06 2010
martin

Looks like they’re gonna push for Julia Gillard to take over from Rudd. That will probably be the next bogan bribe watch post. Well she sure talks like a bogan. And we can all laugh about having a ranga for a PM.

20 06 2010
vivisection

Bit of a one trick pony aren’t you peter?

20 06 2010
James Hunter

Viv,
was that a “sick pony”

20 06 2010
Shirley M

Oh Petey. You know that’s not true. I love YOU as well as me. xxx

20 06 2010
Shirley M

Ummm Petey, Tombarina is a GIRL! xx

20 06 2010
James Hunter

Shirly,
Comprehension is as beyond Pete as Pete is beyond comprehension.
!

21 06 2010
Tombarina

True, Pete. I checked. I’m a real girl.

Sorry I didn’t see this earlier – I’ve been somewhat busy with, you know, family, friends, social activities, gainful employment, etc. But I truly appreciate you devoting your Sunday to writing an entertaining ditty about my dreadlocked male other-self being in a band and having rather a jolly old time (I think – it’s either a very odd song-of-origin, or it just hasn’t translated well).

So thanks – you’re coolsie, too!

20 06 2010
James Hunter

Putrid Pete,
Using Centerlinks payments to keep you sustained so as to enable you to vilefy other persons parents is a misuse of public monies

Most people like you have been taken screaming and dribbling to the funny farm long before they become a hazard to navigation on otherwise friendly websites.

Do yourself and the rest of us a favour, go and seek help or at least commit yourself to a safe place where you may find peace.

That you had a dreadful childhood does not mean that the rest of us did and is no excuse for you to take out your sorry at a childhood lost by reviling others more fortunate.

Whatever your parents did to you Pete is long in the past. It is time to move on and to get yourself a job try and find some other soul with whom to spend the rest of your life. You never know there may even be an opertunity to have little Petes .This would be a challenge to you as the conflict of your own miserable past and the future that you should wish for your offspring may be beyond both your comprehension and your capacity for self controll.

Any way Pete, good luck get your self a life , even a $2.00 one and moove forward.

The sad thing is that you probably have worthwhile things to say. If only you could expunge the anger that clouds your outlook on life you may be able to bring fourth these things from the better, kinder and more lucid part of your soul .

20 06 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Will S

Religion is defiantly a bit part of it. With America’s religious right having so much power, we are starting to see the “religious trickle down effect” All of the sudden Tony Blair was religious. KFudd seems to be pretending to be.

Religion is an excuse to be an arsehole to those who are ‘different’. Gay, Mentally ill, bi-sexual etc; If it can’t be explained by God then it is always labeled as the Devil’s work. They have no sense of acceptence. Personally, I think being religious is a mental illness.

This is my opinion of those who are really mad for it. The Religitards, they don’t believe in medical intervention. You know, those ones. 😉

21 06 2010
Shirley M

If you say that being religious is a mental illness then I can’t see how you are different from religious people. Isn’t that ‘being an arsehole’ to those who are different from you, not to mention showing a lack of acceptance and understanding of mental illness?

Perhaps homosexuality is a mental illness. It goes against our biological purpose after all. From an anatomical point of view, penises are supposed to go into vaginas. But so what if it is? If people can function in society without hurting themselves or anyone else, why does it matter?

21 06 2010
Tombarina

Pete – you haven’t gotten Chubby and Viv just a little bit confused have you?

I ask this as a concerned friend, given that you appear to have melded the two into a single, rather befuddling whole – ie, travelling Viv, the frustrated News Ltd one-trick-pony journeyman.

The recommended treatment is two Austrian cabbages, washed down with a bracing draft of absinth, followed by a colonic irrigation administered by a highly-trained beagle named Colin.

21 06 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

ChubbyVivFartBloodSection.

22 06 2010
Laura

The two things I hate most in the world. Homophobia and bogans.

A homophobic bogan is like a tall giant: a tautology..

22 06 2010
James Hunter

Laura, Yes
BUT
“an example of tautology” yes,
NOT ” a tautology”
Got to look at the appropriate parts of speach

6 09 2010
sk

things bogans like – stephany rice… i just spent ages argueing with bogans about this its so frustrating… i hate being gay in such a bogan country… i wanna move to sweden… cute boys, relaxed views, wikileaks, shame i’m not old enough to leave the country… 😦 ah well i guess i can put up with three more years of my bogan father bashing the shit out of me every chance he gets…

17 02 2013
chris

I’m surprised that this is on the list, because I have known many gays, and no one qualifies the ‘new age’ bogan like the Australian gays. They pretty much tick every box on this list, especially when it comes to fake european taste and consumerism that lacks intellectual depth. Not to mention lifestyle obsessions, short courses….Richard Mercer (how many lesbians call him every night!!!)

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