Welcome to Bogan Bribe Watch!

14 05 2010

Welcome dear readers, to a new TBL initiative for Fridays. In our never-ending quest to ensure that the bogan menace is properly catalogued, assessed and mocked, it is about to hit a whole new level. There is an election coming. When, we’re not sure – the smart money seems to be sometime from late August to early October, but no one really knows right now. And when there’s an election, the bogan-industrial complex goes into meltdown.

So, for the next howevermany weeks, we here at Things Bogans Like will undertake the civic service that is bogan psephology – the study of whichever political party throws money/fear at bogans, and who promises to make housing more affordable while ensuring that house prices keep rising. The party that does these things more effectively will win. The bogan has the power. So, let’s get to it.

14/05/2010 – Back in Black

The bogan loves AC/DC. It matters not, here, whether we are referring to the bogan of old, or the modern bogan menace; they all love AC/DC. Hence, the ALP was onto a winner when they decided to release a budget that was all about ‘returning the budget to surplus’, thereby guaranteeing a raft of headlines the next day that riffed on the idea of Australian being ‘Back in (the) Black’. By associating itself so closely with the Young brothers, the government virtually assured itself a bump in the polls after a horror week of losing the votes of every smoking bogan in the country.

However, in terms of pure bogan politics, the budget was a mixed bag. The bogan is deeply assured that the government is capable of running the country in a manner that avoids crippling debt, as it stares mournfully at its own credit card statement, and contemplates how long it will be before Mr Norman comes to retrieve his couch. The bogan is also thrilled at the idea that the government has abolished tax returns. While the annual tax return is the one and only piece of official paperwork the bogan will lodge on time, the abrogation of that responsibility is an enormous, vote-winning burden off its shoulders.

Elsewhere, the government has promised to spend $1.2 billion extra dollars fighting illegal foreign people. The bogan loves this idea because it sounds warlike, and the bogan deeply believes that its true place is on the frontline, if only it wasn’t burdened with crippling laziness and cowardice. Previously announced, was the mining ‘super-profit tax’. The bogan doesn’t really know what that means, and is confused. It hates tax, loves the things tax buys, likes hearing about super things, but not super taxes. It’s enough to make a bogan’s head spin. However, it is reassured that much of the money will go towards working families. The bogan works periodically, and has a family. Kevin did it for them.

There are, however – and this is important – no new handouts to bogans. The first homeowners’ grant has not been extended. Its child’s ADD medicine will be more expensive as PBS funding has been cut. And the negative gearing tax break has been halved. This is terrible news for the bogan considering expanding its already bulging property portfolio (which is a word the bogan just LOVES using). Also, there is a line in the budget setting money towards ‘removing material which is refused classification’ from the net. The bogan will publicly suggest that it is in favour of this law, in order to protect the children. In the privacy of the polling booth, however, the bogan male will vote to protect its porn.

All in all, the bogan is unlikely to change its mind over this budget. It fails to pass the ‘what’s in it for me’ test, which the Howard government made the ultimate litmus test for the success of a budget at bogan-baiting. The Herald Sun and Daily Telegraph will tell the bogan what to think about it via a crisply produced infographic.

ALP Score: 5 killer riffs out of 10


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185 responses

14 05 2010
Grass Mud Horse

“The Herald Sun and Daily Telegraph will tell the bogan what to think about it.” – hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha

14 05 2010
Brimstone

I thought everyone loved AC/DC
might be an American thing… my ex and my dad both said they didn’t like Acca Dacca and it took me a bit of time to process the phrase ‘don’t like AC/DC’

can you do a post on bogan music? apparently i’m not supposed to like The Angels, Chisel, or The Whitlams

also the budget has $3 million for Internet censorship. fuck that!

Good point – added. Also, pretty much everyone does love AC/DC. The bogan, however, appreciates AC/DC on a much deeper level than you do. TBL

14 05 2010
Brimstone

“The bogan will publicly suggest that it is in favour of this law, in order to protect the children. In the privacy of the polling booth, however, the bogan male will vote to protect its porn.”

okay… on a serious note, the Open Internet campaign seems to have stalled. can you suggest ways to get bogans on our side? you do say the like ‘free speech’

and i dunno if you can appreciate AC/DC on a deep level, though i read some book that suggests they’re underrated as guitarists

they do rock very hard

14 05 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
never thought i’d say this, but your doing real good for a septic.

14 05 2010
ohnobogan

yeah I agree, there’s nothing wrong with turning on the radio and hearing some AC/DC but I wouldn’t line up for days on end, pissing into a cup just to get tickets to their concerts or argue until I’m purple in the face the merits of AC/DC music.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

i can’t imagine needing an argument beyond ‘AC/DC rock!’

the Iron Man 2 AC/DC soundtrack is pretty funny. last movie with an all AC/DC soundtrack was Stephen King’s directorial debut, Maximum Overdrive. but the film isn’t all AC/DC… half of the soundtrack is Clash songs

i’m kinda fascinated by how they’re part of the same family as the Easybeats. who also rock

14 05 2010
Lol-plates

I got my tickets for free 😛
I did how ever do the lining up thing for metallica tickets.

14 05 2010
libertarianvegetarian

I don’t think the Whitlams are bogan. I’m pretty sure they are inner city lefty wanker rock. Although bogans may enjoy their music, which then makes them things bogans like…………. bogan by proxy perhaps. Which is great because I’m sure that wank Tim Freedman would hate being called bogan:):)

14 05 2010
Brimstone

yeah but all my Inner City wanker friends hate the Whitlams
which is ironic, ’cause we all hang out in Newtown and drink at the Townie and the Sando
i don’t have a bad word to say about the guy… he’s championing my friend Perry Keyes, one of the greatest songwriters Sydney has recently produced

14 05 2010
martin

The Whitlams aren’t bogan. They just suck. Like Something For Kate. Something for Kate are bogans trying to be inner city lefty wankers.

Most people like ACDC, but it’s really only 10 or so songs. Over a 30-40 years period it’s not that good.

14 05 2010
BonoScotto

Ask any true AC DC fan and they will agree that post Bon they did really stick to one riff and just made a few variations with a squealing leader singer. As soon as i hear post Bon ac dc i switch off. They went from being true ballsy australian rock and roll to just heavy cock rock shit. They should have re-named the band out of respect for Bon.

15 05 2010
vivisection

I would have put The Whitlams in the popular with 1st year Bachelor of Business undergraduate student camp. Kind of like the way REM ended up, despite having a great start. And how much more does Kate need? Surely she has enough?

15 05 2010
libertarianvegetarian

I would think it more likely first year arts students than business, due to them being named after their hero, the bogan baiter extraordinaire, Gough. Without whom the bogan could not enjoy the massive levels of welfare it does today. Whose electorate (which I would strongly doubt he lived) would have to have one the highest rates of bogans (both old school and NaB/CUB) wogans & brogans (particularly the islander variety). An electorate subsequently held by Gough mini-me and poster boy of the NaB, Mark Latham.

15 05 2010
brad

god i hate SFK, a flatmate used too constantly play them,i can still hear the the vocalist’s whining voice in my head years later- i would love too glass the c$%t.

17 05 2010
ozFinn

No, Bogans don’t like The Whitlams…
The Whitlams want to blow up their beloved pokies.
The Whitlams are a pub band who enjoyed some moderate mainstream success yet still support smaller live music venues around the country. I don’t see that as being a bad thing at all… And if being a fan of them makes me an “inner city left wanker” then I’ll take that label and run with it.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

“There are, however – and this is important – no new handouts to bogans. The first homeowners’ grant has not been extended. Its child’s ADD medicine will be more expensive as PBS funding has been cut. And the negative gearing tax break has been halved. This is terrible news for the bogan considering expanding its already bulging property portfolio (which is a word the bogan just LOVES using).”

wait… bogans like handouts? back in the States rednecks hate ‘entitlement spending’ (welfare)

14 05 2010
Tone

The bogan is more complicated than its simple exterior would suggest.

It loves receiving handouts, but hates the idea of others getting them too. It also hates the notion of paying for them, even though they use the hackneyed phrase ‘I pay my taxes!’ as justification for rattling their maxxxtreme can every so often.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

ah… American rednecks hate they idea of paying for anything that might help poor/black people that they’ll oppose healthcare that benefits themselves

14 05 2010
ohnobogan

yeah that mindset doesn’t make any sense to anyone outside of America.

Bogans love hand outs to the max; the baby bonus, Family tax benefit A, Family tax benefit B, the child care rebate .. they love it. They just don’t like paying for it or hearing that all these handouts may not be coming their way anytime soon.

Aren’t the rednecks in America poor? Wouldn’t they benefit from welfare?

14 05 2010
Brimstone

“Aren’t the rednecks in America poor? Wouldn’t they benefit from welfare?”

yeah, but they all think they’re going to be rich. and some are middle-class

also MY TAX DOLLARS! BLACK PEOPLE! COMMUNISM!

yeah, it doesn’t make sense to me either

14 05 2010
LT

Go to CNNs website and open any article concerning Obama, go to the comments section at the bottom of the page. You’ll see a whole trove of rednecks calling him a socialist/communist, that hands out their tax dollars to support illegal immigrants. Never mind that most of the rednecks probably don’t even work (sort of like our bogans), but love to say they do.

14 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Spot on Tone…:D

14 05 2010
urbanreverie

Brimstone and Tone are correct.

If you want written proof that the bogan loves to kick the socially excluded and disadvantaged while they’re down, please feel free to look at this Facebook group:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=117583291599854&v=wall&ref=search

Meanwhile, here’s proof that the bogan does not mind a national insurance system at all, and will actually profess to go to quite maxtreme lengths to preserve this system, as long as it is a beneficiary:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=85017006808&v=wall&ref=search

If I could be bothered, I’d compare the membership lists in each group and see if there are any bogans who belong to each group. But there are more interesting things to do.

WARNING: Both the above pages feature illiterate ramblings scarcely recognisable as the English tongue, and it may be prudent to go to Dymocks and spend $30 on an English-Boganese bilingual dictionary.

14 05 2010
pb

yes, that’s one of the biggest differences between our bogans and your rednecks. our bogans love getting given stuff. but they do join with your rednecks in hating stuff being given to people who aren’t them.

14 05 2010
martin

The bogans loves handouts because it knows that those nerds who are making $100k odd are the ones paying for them and can’t dodge tax like the bogan can with their cashies and or with a combination of low level wages plus children. So along with the free money they get to exercise their anti-intellectual beliefs.

Did I miss something? Was it said in jest that negative gearing has been halved because I don’t think it has been.

14 05 2010
Sam

I thought that Swan rejected it because it didn’t fit in with Labor’s values.

High income investors being given tax breaks that increase house prices, all at the expense of low/middle income earners, is A OK with Labor’s value system.

14 05 2010
miss dahl

They can’t make the connection about how tax dollars make their welfare payments happen …

14 05 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
makes one wonder how the welfare supportees can live at all if they have to buy 10 ltrs of coke zero per day ?
Back in the states though; is it true that the rednecks still like to use illegals as workers and dodge tax returns? maybe we imported the bogan traits from “over there”

14 05 2010
Kate @ work

TBL improving international understanding of bogans – I had no idea that Rednecks and Bogans had this difference.

Now we need someone from the UK to tell us if Chavs (is that the equivalent?), like handouts or not.

And what is a Kiwi-bogan called?

14 05 2010
Brimstone

rednecks seem alot scarier and aggressive then bogans, as they’re much better armed and organized

14 05 2010
miss dahl

Take a good look at the Tea Party – they are bogans on the same level as ours, possibly more dangerious in that they carry guns (some of them quite openly) and they profess to having God on ther side (remind you of anyone else?) On a previous post I copped some derision from “Johnno” who asserted I was “gullible” and needed to “read more widely”. Well, I’m guessing he’s one of them, so I’m not too stressed that I made any egregious errors in my assertions of the bogan/redneck/teabagger beast.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

Aussie bogans seem alot more harmless

i mean, i don’t want to be glassed, but they’re not organizing to fuck up the country

14 05 2010
BonoScotto

Socially they already have..well we are 90% there.

14 05 2010
Chairman Miaow

Forgive my ignorance Brimstone but it seemed to me the tea baggers weren’t so much yer rednecks, as your white, suburban middle management types with a solid streak of the Pauline Hansons in them. 2.3 kids, SUV in the garage, loves dogs, guns and America.

Not bogan per se, just a little stupid.

No?

14 05 2010
Brimstone

i dunno… there’s overlap. i should mention i’m from the Northeast, so I’ve got the same snobbish attitude toward rednecks/tea party types that people here do toward bogans

there’s probably a difference between the dangerous Tea Party types and your general rednecks
guess i’ll have to listen to even more Drive-By Truckers until i figure out the difference

14 05 2010
miss dahl

A few years back when we first got cable TV, I used to watch the FOX channel (a lot!) so I got a really good take on the likes of Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, FOX & Friends, Glenn Beck, any number of Republican GOP types, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh. Then you’d get to see the types of people they’d interview in the studio and on the street. I reckon that in America the rednecks are bred bigger and nastier – some even have college degrees.

14 05 2010
LT

Ahhh Faux News LOL! Yeah don’t get me started on them!

” some even have college degrees.”

Yes, well at least one, his name is David Duke.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

Yes, and yet another – that noxious blonde bint (wretched Gretchen Carlsson) on Fox & Friends went to Oxford, albeit for a degree in orgaisational skills, or somesuch. You know the one, opens her mouth and sounds like a shrill, yappy chihuaha. A bad advertisement for Oxford, I should add…

14 05 2010
James Hunter

most do not have the organisational skills nor the dedication

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Most can’t even spell organisation, let alone do it 😛

15 05 2010
miss dahl

sorry, Pinky, that’s a typo …

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

miss dahl, I wasn’t referring to you, I was just replying to James Hunter’s post. Didn’t even notice that you spelled it wrong, I am not one to criticize any ones spulling. 😉

14 05 2010
LT

These are people who seriously believe Sarah Palin would be an excellent President. They also wholeheartedly believe that Fox News speaks the truth, and that anyone that disagrees with them is a communist liar.

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Bruce.

14 05 2010
vivisection

A kiwi

14 05 2010
Mick

Russell Crowe.

14 05 2010
vivisection

Richard Wilkins

14 05 2010
Mick

The trump card gets played…

14 05 2010
concern troll

Bro

14 05 2010
libertarianvegetarian

A kiwi bogan is a bro-gan

14 05 2010
Chairman Miaow

Westie. And they love handouts.

14 05 2010
Lala

Chavs like handouts.

Chavs like handouts more than bogans because there’s a lot more given out.

This is a bit of a generalisation but I know many people, from very wealthy, to friends who grew up in very poor homes.
Not one of them has even looked at council housing. I’ve never seen a white person walk out of a commission flat.

In the UK thousands of chavs live in public housing, thousands live soley off state handouts.
This makes the racism even more prominent as they love a bit of “I was born in this country and a darkie gets a house before I do!!”

Of course the situation is not as bad as the Daily Mail would have you believe, but still, it’s pretty rife.

Here a teen mum stays with her parents, over there they’re straight in a flat of their own. Stereotypical but true

14 05 2010
miss dahl

In the distant past, I worked in the social welfare field. Generations of certain families are welfare orientated. Of those where the welfare lifestyle is the norm, very few break out. Just like some people would never dream of being on welfare willingly, there are those who would never dream of being without.

14 05 2010
LT

Because a Darkie got off his ass and made something of himself rather than lay about drinking and smoking? Losers will be losers!

16 05 2010
Sten

Ah, all this talk of Chavs reminds me of Shameless, one of my favourite shows. It’s Chavs that make me glad my family moved her in the 80s.

Mind you, that means we got saddled with Bogans instead… out of the frying-pan, into the fire?

14 05 2010
bellastarkey

I believe Jack Marx has taken out a detailed study of this issue and has released his findings:

http://blogs.news.com.au/jackmarxlive/index.php/news/comments/budget_2010_a_bogan_perspective/

14 05 2010
Gorey

“Also, there is a line in the budget setting money towards ‘removing material which is refused classification’ from the net”

Fuck, are they still trying to push this barrow? TBL better watch out, what with the gratuitous use of the words “fuck” and “cunt” and the constant mocking of people like Bolt. This page will be the first thing expurgated.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

like i said above, the Open Internet campaign is stalling. i’d love to appeal to bogans…. we need everyone on our side

14 05 2010
Tone

All we need to do is to get the word out that under Chairman Rudd’s Great Firewall Of Australia, any adult enjoying a bit of maxxxtreme donkey punching anal action downloaded from the Internet is as bad as a paedophile. It still won’t spur them into action, but it might make them bleat loudly enough for the regime to throw another $900 bone their way, thus placating them until the next Election campaign.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

That’s actually a good, serious suggestion… especially given the amount of casual nudity on TV
but the movement is trying to make this about more then my right to get porn

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

We have talked previously about which is the most bogan city and I now have proof positive that Melbourne is indeed that city.

MELBOURNE still likes Hey Hey It’s Saturday but it is being abandoned by viewers in every other Australian capital city. (Thanks Herald Sun)

In Sydney, it was the 14th most watched show of the night with 267,000 viewers.

In Brisbane and Adelaide it was the 16th most watched (153,000 and 78,000 respectively). In Perth it crashed to 20th (79,000).

14 05 2010
Gorey

There’s a reason it was axed in the first place.

14 05 2010
Mick

Maybe if AC/DC make an appearance with Dazza and the gang it would help?

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’m thinking a Powderfinger appearance can’t be fay away. Or perhaps if The Grylls went on and ate Dazza’s spleen that could help.

14 05 2010
Gorey

I don’t think there’s much that can save Hey Hey. Even Wolfmother wouldn’t go on it.

14 05 2010
Mick

Am I the only one who doesn’t refer to Bush Tucker Man Jr as ‘The Grylls’?

*rolls eyes*

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Mick, taking the piss dude.

14 05 2010
Mick

I take every opportunity to have my objection to said name recorded.

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Noted.

14 05 2010
the trav

re the Bogan Bribe Watch, any chance of a piece on the terms “working families” and “ordinary australians”.

It’s a long campaign…TBL

14 05 2010
Dazz

Or a simple tally of the number of times the terms are uttered by KRudd, Gillard, Swan, Tanner etc… in the next 4-5 months.

Interesting to also see the tally of ALP “Work Choices” references.(a threat to bogans potential for huge earnings in the mines). Cant wait for the adds of bogans appealing to other bogans to vote ALP to save their jobs and welfare entitlements.

14 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

“…the government has promised to spend $1.2 billion extra dollars fighting illegal foreign people. The bogan loves this idea because it sounds warlike, and the bogan deeply believes that its true place is on the frontline, if only it wasn’t burdened with crippling laziness and cowardice.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so good, so true. Well done TBL

14 05 2010
Tee-Agra

What has the Rudd government actually achieved?

Here’s the list so far:

1 Said Sorry several times.

2 Ratified Kyoto as it is about to expire without successor.

3 Organised “best and brightest summit” – if anything useful came out of that, I missed it..

4 Set up “fuel watch”, a costly fiasco since abandoned.

5 Set up “grocery watch” another costly fiasco since abandoned.

6 Established the Australian Social Inclusion Board. This rarely heard of bureaucracy was set up because “Every Australian should have an opportunity to be a full participant in the life of the nation. Unfortunately, too many Australians remain locked out of the benefits of work, education, community engagement and access to basic services. This social exclusion is a significant barrier to sustained prosperity and restricts Australia’s future growth”. If there is any evidence to support this argument it wasn’t included in the announcement. The Board has been described as “the biggest waste of tax dollars imaginable, towards some more Rudd-style feel-goodism”. That was in May 2008. It probably did seem a big waste of tax dollars then, but it’s been turned into a drop in the ocean by what’s happened since.

7 Set up the home insulation program – what a disaster! It was a disaster because Rudd so wanted the Feds to be able to claim the credit he gave it to his Dept of Environment. This feel-good department, whose Minister’s previous experience was lead singer with a rock band, is full of environmental scientists and climate change disciples with zero experience in dealing with the real world or delivering real programs.. Four deaths, a minister demoted, (not sacked or had his salary reduced) and $50 million to former union heavy Greg Combet to fix it, and Combet says that may not be enough. And the claimed environmental benefits were grossly exaggerated. Rudd said he took full responsibility but I don’t know what that means – he’s still PM, he’s still drawing his salary and privileged superannuation benefits.

8 Set up SIHIP (Strategic Indigenous Housing and Infrastructure Program). This program was initiated by a Memorandum of Understanding in September 2007. In July 2009 the ABC (hardly a hot-bed of opposition to the ALP) reported on its Lateline program that it was yet to build a single house. That was despite $45.54 million of its $672 million budget having been spent. A government report dated August 2009 said the program was being criticised as: too slow to deliver; its governance was overly bureaucratic; the program is too costly in terms of unit cost of housing and administration. The revised program budget is still $672m with each new house expected to cost $450,000 or $529,000 after factoring in a proportion of administration costs and “contingencies”. As at 1 February 2010, only 2 of a target of 750 houses and 70 of 2,500 refurbishments had been completed.

9 Sent money direct to taxpayers and non-taxpayers to spend on large screen imported TV’s to stimulate the economy and avoid the effects of what Rudd and Swan called the worst depression since the 1930s. In fact unemployment was 11% in 1991 and in 2009 didn’t get to 6%, which not too many years ago would have been regarded as virtually full employment. Remember Beattie’s target 5%? But if you can’t maintain your popularity rating by sending money to voters what can you do?

10 Promised that every child in every school in Australia would get a computer. This program is moving so slowly that most of the people who were high school students at the time of the promise will have left school before they see a new computer.

11 Set up the $70m green loans mess – people gave up their jobs, paid $3,000 for qualifications and insurance to be trained as assessors, only to find the demand for green loans had been grossly exaggerated, many more assessors were trained than the program envisaged, and there was no work for most of them. The Courier-Mail reported on 2 Feb 2010 that: “The Federal Government predicted up to 200,000 home-owners would take up the loans and only 1,000 have done so ….instead of training 1,500 to 2,000 well-qualified assessors the Government permitted a blow-out and it is now estimated there will be up to 11,500 well-qualified assessors”. The program has now been transferred to Penny Wong’s department – that should fix it.

12 Turned a good budget surplus into such a huge debt that our grandchildren will have so much trouble servicing it that our population will have to increase rapidly. Blamed the global financial collapse while steadfastly refusing to give any credit to Howard or Costello for leaving them an excellent budget position to work with.

13 Didn’t include any major infrastructure in the stimulus package because the effects would be felt too slowly (except for duplicating school halls and gyms).

14 Set up the home solar hot water initiative which was abruptly ended three weeks early with eight hours notice. This caused chaos in the industry, and many people intending to lodge applications missed out. Peter Garrett blamed a cost blow-out from the original estimate of $150 million to $750 million a year for the cut-back.

15 Disbanded “Work Choices”. He had to do this because it was the unions’ self-funded campaign against it that got him elected. Replaced it by giving back powers to the unions and re-instating the Industrial Relations Club. Set up Fair Work Australia with what seems to many as an over-representation of people with union backgrounds.

16 Changed the previous government’s immigration laws so successfully that the exponential blow-out in illegal boat arrivals created a need for a lot more accommodation on Christmas Island.

17 Has recently suspended the processing of applications for permanent visas until after the election. presumably hoping there won’t be a dramatic build up on Christmas Iland and that the electors will forget about the whole situation by the next election.

18 Said “the science is in on climate change” and claimed the Emissions Trading Scheme would fix it. Labelled sceptics as deniers.

19 Attempted to railroad the ETS through the Senate before Copenhagen for no other reason than it would have allowed Rudd to strut the world stage.

20 Went to Copenhagen taking 114 government free-loaders with him (one of the largest of the 190 delegations), at huge cost to the Australian taxpayer and the world’s environment. I haven’t seen any announcement of the cost of the junket (and I doubt I ever will), but I’m sure that whatever was going to be achieved, at least 100 of the free-loaders were superfluous to requirements. And it was fairly predictable that nothing would be achieved.

21 Refuses to debate the use of nuclear power generation to reduce pollution because it’s against ALP and union policy.

22 Has opened one of 2,650 promised “trades training centres”, one of 260 promised child care centres in schools and TAFEs, and 2 of 31 promised GP Super Clinics.

23 Attracted 752 retired nurses back into the profession using a return-to-work bonus. When they announced this scheme Labor hoped 7,750 would take up the offer.

24 Removed Labor’s original election 2007 promises from the ALP website.

25 Promised to take Japan to court on whaling, but now says that will not be until November, probably after the election. As time goes on, I find I’m becoming less convinced about who is really at fault here, Japan for fishing in international waters, or the protesters for disrupting a legitimate commercial operation.

26 Has so far kept the Henry tax review secret for political reasons.. Last week Rudd was saying it wouldn’t be released until after the election. Wiser heads have since made him realise people won’t vote for a new tax system when they don’t know what’s in it. And there must be something nasty in it, either unpalatable to the voters or inconsistent with ALP policy, or it would be heralded as another triumph for the Rudd government.

27 Announced he will keep 30% of the state’s GST to fund 60% of their hospital costs. The 60% funding will have strings attached. The states have not been given any of the details, just the executive summary, and he expects them to agree to the proposals without knowing what the strings are, or what he might take back with the other hand under the Henry tax review. The announcement doesn’t explain how it will improve delivery of hospital services, but it will probably add another layer of bureaucrats to the health system. Australia already has 450,000 bureaucrats looking after 290,000 health professionals. The announcement was hurriedly made in March 2010 after it had been pointed out that he had imposed a June 2009 deadline on himself for reform of the hospitals system. Perhaps this explains the lack of details. Refer back to the criticisms of SIHIP above. I think it’ll be deja vu all over again. Rudd said if the states block his plan he will take it to a referendum, which of course is just grandstanding.

28. Turned Gillard loose with $16.7 billion to give building contractors, states and bureaucrats a feast in return for COLA.s and unwanted libraries and gyms – the insulation racket all over again in spades.

29 Last week he trotted out five senior ministers to criticise the Senate for being “obstructionist”.. The 5 were Jenny (SIHIP) Macklin, Penny (ETS) Wong, Lindsay (clean nose) Tanner, Nicola (new hospital system) Roxon, and Greg (Mr Fixit) Combet. I think Rudd is lucky the Senate has been obstructionist because if it wasn’t he’d have more failures to add to his already impressive list. I noticed Julia was too smart to join the line-up of losers, and has managed not to be associated with too many of the above “achievements” – actually lying low while the schools building fiasco and criminal activities are unfolding. But watch your back, Kev.

As you might have guessed, I think Rudd’s a dud. But everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, and if I’ve missed some real achievements I sincerely apologise.

I can’t wait to hear how he will try to turn these “achievements” into something which will encourage the Australian electors to give Labor and, equally important, the unions another chance

This is thorough. TBL

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Tee-Agra,

That, my friend is impressive. And yes Kev is full of sh*t. Most things he attempts fail and he seems to have skated through, not sure how because he always strikes me as a snakeoil salesman, but I think it is catching up with him.

Also in reference to Bogue names, do we pronounce the – or are you bogue free?

14 05 2010
Brimstone

TLDR

any government that tries to censor my Internet loses my vote

14 05 2010
James

Despite the lack of achievements the ALP has one thing up its sleeve going into this election: Tony Abbott.

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I’d argue the other way but there you go. Bloody Libtards.

14 05 2010
James

Now I’m confused Simon. Are you talking about Liberals (like the party) or liberals (like the American misuse of the word)?

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No, I’d just been dying to use that word since Martin bought it to the table and it seemed as good a time as any.

14 05 2010
James

I see. In that case, nice usage.

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks dude. On your other point I think your average dull bogan is getting sick of Rudd stuffing up and blaming it on everyone else or just dumping things when the going gets tough. Also he has no opinion on anything and bogans love an opinion. Abbott does at least have an opinion, just should not express it whilst wearing budgies.

14 05 2010
Brimstone

I’m voting for whoever doesn’t censor my Internet. which might end up being Abbot, but he might make it worse

14 05 2010
James

Spoiled for choice, aren’t we Brimstone?

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m voting greens, I refuse to vote for either that religitard Abbott or kfudd. It probably won’t change anything, but I’ll give it ago. 🙂

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Simon, they are ALL the same. When Howard was in, he was useless, he didn’t follow through on a lot of his promises either.

I despise both parties equally these days. As I said somewhere else on this page, I will be voting greens, come what may.

They are all the same, there’s no real dividing line between them these days. Bastards.

17 05 2010
Kat

So true. What is the choice? Wanker or wanker.

14 05 2010
James Hunter

hearn hear , here here and there as well.

14 05 2010
Tee-Agra

I’m very very un-bogue, but Tay-Lah calls me “Taagra”, Shay-Lee calls me “Teegs”. Kay-Shay-Lah calls me “Tegan”

14 05 2010
Tone
14 05 2010
Chairman Miaow

Thank you Tone. My first suspicion was a flunky in the Young Libs office, but no…just some lazy prick with google or an email address.

On a lighter note, here’s a sure-fire way to spot a hipster wanker…

http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to-spot-a-masturbator/

… I thought the Duran Duran T-shirt was the perfect giveaway myself.

14 05 2010
martin

If a person can’t afford to give their $800 for a lappy I’m not sure they have any business having children.

14 05 2010
vivisection

He did amend 85 laws which discriminated against me and my relationship, something which the previous govts did squat about. He didn’t have the balls to amend marriage and adoption laws though.

14 05 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That sums it up a bit really. fiddles around the edges but no depth to his policy or lack of balls to make hard calls. Equality is equality, not with qualifications.

15 05 2010
Sam

When are these bigot politicians going to allow polygamy too?

15 05 2010
vivisection

Who cares if they do, it works well in islamic countries, the mormans even make it work. Oh no, but what would Jes&s do?

I’d like to know when they are going to ban heterosexual divorce? If marriage is so sacred, it should be a committment for life.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

C’mon vivi, polygamy works in favour of THE MAN in most cases. Even if you were referring to “Big Love”, I would bet the polygamous state of the character Roman is more the reality – a tyrannical bastard of a man and a harem of low-IQ, dumb-as- dogshit women, dressing like it’s 1842, being the wives. And don’t get me started on the status of women In Islamic countries – women don’t really get a look in, let alone asked their opinion of the state of affairs. Burquas are great for hiding the physical effects of domestic violence, don’t you think? Really, vivi, I didn’t take you for a Keyser Trad fan!

15 05 2010
Vivisection

I know several polygamist lesbians, no man screwing them over. I have not watched Big love, so cannot corny on it. My point is that we do not all subscribe to Christian views and that other forms of relationships exist on other cultures. I am also unaware of any polygamist movements asking for equal rights on the same scale as the queer rights movement, making sam’s comment clearly an attempt to create moral panic.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

Also, re the burqha hiding the effects of domestic violence, so does make up, should that be banned too? Stop The condescending assumption that all Islamic women are victims. While some may be, many are educated, intelligent women that freely choose to practice their spirituality and express it openly. Our socities pressure for women to wear cosmetics and dress for men is equally opressive as any woman forced to wear a burqha. Any visit to an eating disorder clinic will highlight this point.

15 05 2010
James Hunter

viv,
make up even intentionally does not make for much of a didguise however a burqua is a disguise with or with out intention and thus should not be allowed in places where other forms of disguise are not allowed. I.E. banks, post offices, government buildings.
If one cannot wear a moterbike helmet or a hoody then no burqua. simple. equality and our way of life. after all that is what these people came here for.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

Agreed james, my point aboutthe burqha is not about public safety in banks, it’s about ms dahl claiming it is used to hide domestic violence.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

I assume you put make up on for a job interview though?

15 05 2010
miss dahl

I always do make up when I dress to impress! I just love the restorative, transformative and psychological power of a good maquillage.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

You are correct that Islamic women in UK, USA, Australia and Europe are mostly not victims. But, in Africa and the Middle East and the Absurdistan region, they most certainly are NOT mostly educated and free to express anything. Girls are mostly prohibited from getting a basic education and a girls’ school was destroyed by bombing only two weeks ago (with the girls in it!) Wearing makeup and the burqua are worlds apart. Our society by and large doesn’t fundamentally give a shit if a woman wears makeup every day or not as many women actually don’t, myself included. However, the burqua is fundamentally required in the hardline Muslim areas that I mentioned above, no question or negotiation on that one. If I, as a westerner, were to travel to those states, I would be required to be covered from head to toe, as was an acquaintance of mine when her husband and she lived in Riyadh for a couple of years. Step out of the house as a woman uncovered in those places and you will soon learn the real meaning of fashion police.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

You speak of a minority of Islamic women, I raised Islam as an example of alternitive cultural relationships. There are Christian women in equally bad circumstances All should be supported, and none should be held up as typical of a religion or race.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

I do appreciate what you are trying to convey, but I disagree that it is just a minority of women who suffer under the tyrannical rule of Islamic fundamentalist states. The bottom line is, education is the only answer. However, it may take a few generations of concerted efforts to implement real and lasting change. With all the crap that we think we have in our country, it is nothing close to what they have to endure.

16 05 2010
vivisection

But only a very small percentage of global Muslim women, I think about 1-2% ( would need to check that), wear the full Burqa. I don’t know if you are including the Hajib? If you are, i expect the argument would apply to a Christian Nuns too? Don’t forget that historically Islam has been very pro women. Wasn’t Mohammed first wife was a business woman? Isn’t the Burqa and Hajib also considered a way for a woman to be judged by her opinion and not on her appearance? Given that neither of us are Islamic ( or I assume you aren’t), I think it’s difficult for either of us to comment fairly. We can only base our opinions on what the popular media feeds us, which in this day and age , is often fear mongering. I assume we both speak part of the same truth, as well as we can.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

And re polygyny working in favour of the man. Remind me again, how perfect is it for women in monogomous marriages? No domestic violence? How does it all work out when the 1 in 2 marriAges fail? Equally? Financially I’m sure they must do well after giving up careers to raise the kids.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

Relationships are only as good as the people involved in them. Hook up with an obvious loser (man or woman) and live in misery. Losers come in many forms – compulsive gamblers, liars, philanderers, alcoholics, addicts etc. It isn’t rocket science. I know many people who have been married for decades and have by their own admission, been very content and happy. I also know a few who have been divorced. Polygamy isn’t the solution for that. Also, people should quit with this notion that giving up a career to care for the kids makes someone an abysmal failure. Infancy and young childhood is fleeting and a time to be treasured and enjoyed. A career can be picked up down the track.

15 05 2010
Vivisection

I wouldn’t suggest polygamy is An answer, I suggested it is a legitimate option that people should be free to choose. I spent five years as a return to work trainer for women , yes it is posible, no it isn’t easy, and very few men offer to make the sacrifice that women are often forced to make.

15 05 2010
miss dahl

Personally, I’m not in favour of polygamy, not because I’m religious, (because I never make decisions based on religion) but more because I think your average Australian woman wants to be the (only) apple of her man’s eye. IMHO, I just don’t think it would work in the long term for most women either (I personally don’t know of anyone who would go for it). On the second point, yes, I do personally know the frustration and hardship involved in re-entering the workforce and/or switching careers later in life. I also believe that you can have it all, just not all at once!

16 05 2010
vivisection

Polygamy can also be a woman with several partners of either gender. I’ve met women with a male and female partner, I’ve met women with two female partners and I’ve met women with two male partners. If you move of of the hetero-normative model of the man being the “dominant “partner and the female needing to bet he apple of his eye, you can see that 2 or more people, who consider each other as equals, can and do have any form of relationship they want without having to subscribe to what is narrowly defined by our legislation. Why should these people who have actually thought about and openly negotiated their relationships, be considered any lesser than the “boy meets girl, get married and then divorced three years later” model which is the dominant and only legally recognised model in our society?

16 05 2010
James Hunter

miss dahl,
you are so on the money

15 05 2010
Sam

Hetro marriage is not perfect, therefore polygyny is just as good for everyone concerned.

I love this kind of logic and conclusion drawing! It works a treat on simpletons.

Let me try:
Suncream doesn’t stop all cancer, so you may as well go to the tanning salon.
Cars cause pollution, so we should encourage helicopter usage.

16 05 2010
vivisection

Nearly as good as the logic behind the “if we allow gay marriage, people will want to marry their cats and polygamy will take over the world” argument isnt it? Sam, you raised polygamy in a discussion about gay marriage. I didn’t. All my argument is, if you bother to read it, is that people should have the right to choose whatever form of relationship they want to be in. I would qualify that by stating that I think it should be consensual.
I personally do not have an opinion one way or another about polygamy. If people freely choose that as a relationship framework, I respect that decision, and would not deny them the opportunity to pursue happiness in that way. Like all forms of relationship, there is no guarantee that happiness will come from that framework, any more than it would come from a homo or hetero relationship.

Remind me again Sam, what exactly is your position, aside from creating moral panic, based on fear?

16 05 2010
vivisection

And Sam, you still haven’t come out as Anti Divorce yet? Doesn’t that fit in with your high moral ground position? Personally, as much as I would love to see this ban on divorce applied, until marriage is open to everyone, I wouldn’t be so cruel as to inflict a life sentence on a woman to spend it with a twat like you. That would be inhumane. Must be the compassionate homo in me, maybe i’m just like Jes*s?

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Viv, I’m sure not Will S is pro choice for anything for anyone other than himself. Sounds like a bog standard bogan to me.

16 05 2010
vivisection

I think Will put that video up as it takes the mickey out of the anti-gay marriage argument.

16 05 2010
vivisection

Whereas Sam hasn’t offered any great feats of logic or considered opinion yet!

16 05 2010
Sam

Haha, it’s funny when Viv gets all catty and queeny and starts lashing out with name calling.

I don’t care who marries who. You homos should be allowed to marry too.

Based on what I have read most polygamous marriages in 2010 are not on equal terms and are mostly used by religious nutters to expand their brain washing. Therefore, I would not support it.

I am all for equal rights for gay men. I just draw the line at adoption though.

I am pro-choice for everyone! Not just gays, not just god freaks.

Kids should get a chance at having a mum and a dad, rather than having a top and a bottom. Right or wrong this is the social norm in 2010 and most kids would want to slot into a conforming family.

I have seen what happens to a couple of kids when their dad pranced out of the closet during their teen years…not good. I can only imagine what 2 x Vivis would do to a child’s state of mind – LOL!

16 05 2010
Vivisection

A quick peek into any juvenile detention centre or foster care facility wil prove what an excellent job straight people have done in raising children. Who raised these gays, that’s right, straight people. Better to be raised by two loving parents of any gender than a bigot. And what is it with your obsession with tops and bottoms, straight people just call it man and wife, it’s not as derogatory as you think

16 05 2010
Sam

There you go again Viv.

Some straight parents are bogans who have done a bad job of parenting, therefore all gay parents will do a better job.

Hard as it is for you to admit this, gay and bogan are not mutually exclusive terms.

How can you assume (without using bigotry as a tool) and openly state that the ratio of gay parents that are negligent will be any lower than straight parents? Your post above clearly concludes on this!

Gays are not more (or less) loving and caring than straights and will not make better parents. Gays may not make worse parents either, but I question the effect on the kids. For example young kids at schools can be nasty, you must have come across a few bullies during your school years Viv.

16 05 2010
Vivisection

Yes, the problem is the children being raised by bigots, why aren’t they prevented from breeding? I’ve never been bullied myself, but many children of nuclear families are I believed. Best they be removed. Also, why are the gay community actively recruited by foster organisations if we are such a bad environmentfir children to be in? That’s right, we’re good enough to clean up your mess, but not good enough to make our own. Double standards, again.

16 05 2010
Sam

Here is a little thought experiment:

1000 kids adopted to good, happy, stable hetro couples vs 1000 kids adopted to good, happy, stable gay couples.

Regression analysis is used to remove other variables that are recognised as being bully targets (eg ugly, fat, stupid, nerdy, uncoordinated kids). So that the effects of gay parenting can be directly compared to straight parenting.

In today’s bogan rich, intolerant society, which set of kids do you think would suffer a higher incidence of bullying?

I am not saying that it is right, it is a sad fact, but in today’s society the kids with 2 x dads holding hands at the sports carnival will get terrorised in the school yard.

16 05 2010
Will S

why are sam’s posts being blamed on me? :S

17 05 2010
vivisection

Sam, Very admirable that you are able to assume that outcome. Have you researched any actual data on the effects of gay parenting? What background do you have in researching Bullying? How did you draw these conclusions? You have a history of making up statistics to back up your theories. Is this another example of this fine forward thinking?

You still miss the point that the problem in your scenario is the parenting of the children doing the bullying, not the parents of the child being bullied. What kind of crap is going on in the house of the bullying child that lowers their self esteem to the point where it can only be raised by bullying other children?

17 05 2010
vivisection

Sam, I hope you realise it’s actually irrelevant whether adoption is legalised or not. In my workplace, not typical, I agree, we have 7 children born to 5 sets of gay parents. Kids all aged from 3mth to 14 years. All seem to be doing just fine.

At the end of the day, no law can stop a turkey baster and a determined lesbian. The reality is, gays, lesbians, transsexuals and all sorts of queer folk are having children. Perhaps rather than sticking your head in the sand and judging this decision, you could look at ways of making the lives of these children easier by reconsidering how you live your own life.
Perhaps instead of baiting gay people with made up statistics into bickering with you online would be a fine place to start. After all, if you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

17 05 2010
vivisection

Sam, from the Australian Psychological Society Literature Review on The Effects of Lesbian and Gay Parenting.

“Research indicates that children of lesbian or gay parents, like their parents, use a range of strategies
in an attempt to lessen the likelihood that they will be treated in a discriminatory or prejudiced way,
including being selective in talking about and/or letting people know about the sexuality of the parents
in the family or the family structure, or not correcting people’s incorrect assumptions about the family,
and seeking out contact with other children and families who have same-sex parents (e.g., Barrett &
Tasker, 2001; Bozett, 1987; O’Connell, 1993; Ray & Gregory, 2001; Perlesz et al., 2006b; Lindsay et
al., 2006; Vanfraussen, et al., 2002). However, researchers who have explicitly compared the amount
of victimisation or teasing experienced by the children of lesbian parents and by the children of
heterosexual parents have found no differences (see Anderssen et al., 2000; Golombok & Tasker, 1994;
Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Vanfraussen et al., 2002; Wainwright & Patterson, 2006). ”

Oh imagine- actual research, by an impartial organisation.

15 05 2010
Will S

It’s the Lord’s holy word
as my second wife said to my third

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

HAHAHAHAHAHA well done

15 05 2010
Will S

Unfortunately that’s not mine, but from this song, which nicely makes fun of those against gay marriage

15 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m not anti gay marriage, I’m pro. I’m sorry I laughed now, knowing that it came from hate mongering.

Bad P!nky

16 05 2010
Sam

Can you not see that the guy in the video is pro-everything? wow.

Look up satire in the dictionary Pinky.

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

i didn’t watch it. I assumed from your post that it was another piece of hate mongering.

You’re so aggressive Will S, it’s a real concern. You should talk to your doctor.

16 05 2010
Sam

Pinky – so you didn’t watch it and yet you have formed a solid opinion on what it stands for…

The prosecution rests!

One of Pinky’s key trigger words was mentioned – “gay” – the eyes then glaze over, foam starts forming in the mouth, ears close, mouth opens and out comes the standard response, regardless of context – hate! bigot! ignorant!

All I can do is laugh at people like you. Nothing else is warranted.

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Like I said Will S, you have an anger problem, maybe it’s anxiety based, I do not know.

I told you I assumed it was hate mongering bullshit, so it’s no surprise to me that I may have got it wrong. I can wear that. No problems.

People like me? What is that? What do you actually know about me? Other than what I have cared to share with this blog?

I am truly concerned for you mental health.

16 05 2010
Will S

Wait, what?

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Will S, I have an apology to make to you. I keep confusing you with Sam.

i really need to get my glasses checked…Fuck I’m heaps embarrassed. Shouldn’t watch Arrested Development and being on here.

I do apologise most sincerely.

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Like I said SAM, you have an anger problem, maybe it’s anxiety based, I do not know.

I told you I assumed it was hate mongering bullshit, so it’s no surprise to me that I may have got it wrong. I can wear that. No problems.

People like me? What is that? What do you actually know about me? Other than what I have cared to share with this blog?

I am truly concerned for you mental health.

16 05 2010
Sam

She thinks we are the same person.

It is called paranoia…

Who has the mental health issues?

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Not paranoia, just poor vision.

16 05 2010
Sam

My bad, not paranoia…she just can’t keep up 🙂

16 05 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Sam, I can admit that I am wrong. I got two people mixed up. Shit what a terrible thing!! At least I can say “Yeah, I fucked up.” Unlike you.

16 05 2010
Will S

well i’m a bit confused

i just try n post harmless funny stuff, no anger here :O

16 05 2010
Sam

sorry you got dragged in. That video was funny and I don’t understand how people can be offended by it?

No anger here either. My only crime is tainting idealism with a little bit of realism.

Therefore, I am an angry hate monger.

14 05 2010
Mick

As a recovering bogan I still have the ‘couldn’t be bothered reading all that shit and stuff’ troubles.

Anyone want to shorten it to something i can manage?

14 05 2010
15 05 2010
Mick

Ok, I read the link that Pete put up. I was staggered by the insightful argument put forward.

I did finally read that long post. It made even less sense.

14 05 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

STFU

14 05 2010
Going Bogue

The real tragedy is that, despite that long (and somewhat impressive) list of failure, the opposition have put Tony Abbott up against him and so he will probably retain the PM role (just). Why no one in the Liberal party had the foresight to realise that people would get sick of Rudd, and should therefore keep the Turnbull-Hockey leadership combo, is beyond me.

As the South Park boys said in 2004, voting in this election will be like choosing between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich.

14 05 2010
Will S

You had me until 18… they are deniers!

14 05 2010
Will S

That “real action” video from Tony Abbott deserves a bashing, the one with the giant red arrows bearing the names of war-torn countries, enroaching on the vast, empty spaces of Western Australia. Representing a total of about 5000 people since Rudd got in.

Stay tuned for that one…TBL

14 05 2010
Will

Yeah, seriously, the modern LNP wipes the fucking floor with the Labor Party when it comes to bogan-baiting. Abbott is a Jedi master at it.

14 05 2010
Will S

I do so want to see Labor voted out. But Abbott’s latest seems to be a complete throwback to Howard.

14 05 2010
AlyssaKT

(Sorry this isn’t in the right spot but it’s the best I can do from my mobile.)

Tee-Agra, that was brilliant! You managed to do what the opposition (with all of their pathetic arguments and name calling) haven’t been able to do; make me doubt my next vote. You should work for them- they’re doing a God-awful job of convincing many people that they’re the lesser evil.

14 05 2010
Tone

Yep, brilliant! Because, as we all known, copying and pasting an email is such a huge achievement.

14 05 2010
tim rogers

ouch

14 05 2010
James Hunter

alyssakt
please do not presume that the liberals are the lesser evil

14 05 2010
Will S

Why settle for the lesser evil?

14 05 2010
Nelson Esq

“The bogan is also thrilled at the idea that the government has abolished tax returns. While the annual tax return is the one and only piece of official paperwork the bogan will lodge on time, the abrogation of that responsibility is an enormous, vote-winning burden off its shoulders.”

Really, bogans do their tax returns? Not from what I have seen. I would have thought that PAYE bogans without any (significant) deductions, such as huge interest bills from their negatively geared investment properties, wouldn’t bother doing their tax return, much like the bogan I worked with many years ago. He boasted that he only did his tax return in the years he was due for a big return. In the other years he said he “can’t be fucked because the government already got me money anyway! They know how much fucken tax I’ve paid. Cunts!” Either that or maybe it’s because he “doesn’t understand numbers and shit”?

I also know of a friend-of-a-friend tradie bogan who wouldn’t know what a BAS statement looked like. He often boasted that he just kept the GST charged on customer invoices and he spent it on home entertainment gear. Funny thing was I was talking to his (pissed) wife at a mutual friends place sometime later, who said she had just received a letter from the ATO demanding $70K for unpaid taxes. She then ‘fessed up that she was going to divorce her husband, take most of his assets and leave him with the bill. He had no idea the letter existed…

14 05 2010
David

Considering the budget is a $40bn deficit (53bn if you don’t count the mining tax), perhaps a more suitable song is “I see Red” by Split Enz

14 05 2010
Pandabater

At the risk of exposing myself to what will probably turn out to be deserved ridicule, can TBL “please explain” WTF “What to Have For Dinner” is?

14 05 2010
James Hunter

Thats when you cant decide whether to have maccas or kfc with your 2 ltr coke zero

14 05 2010
Peter

Ask James Hunter # 3 V 7.5 – one per post.

James Hunter:

Bit of good luck re. the dizzy blond: while engaged in business at a local “live music” venue today (a rather dull subterranean speakeasy) a chance encounter with the joint’s chief knave and boot polisher, whom I know is friends with DB, presented an opportunity to inflict a bit of well deserved venom via the equally rewarding third party technique.
so, I mentioned her name in disparaging terms, following-up with (the well rehearsed) ‘she’s very Northern Beaches’. and this Johnnie, who I’d spotted as practically her brother in kindred spirit, very predictably asked me: ‘where are you from?’ ‘ er, the Northern Beaches’, i replied, then mentioned DB was femmebogue. the rusty blade wasn’t familiar with the term, so i spelled it out for him stating, ‘it’s a female bogan’. conspicuous by its (as yet) unpublished absence was my (well thumbed) copy of Things Bogans Like, so after asking if he knew of ‘that internet thing’ closely followed by my own doubtful glance re his knowledge, coupled with a brief summary of his Luddite countenance, at which he continued grinning like a Cheshire cat, as though I’d just been massively complimentary, I directed him to this site, with a suggestion to ‘check out’ the What Is A Bogan Today? page. a fairly constructive half hour. I’m sure you will agree.

now, tonight’s question (# 5 – question form only, knobwrenches).

James Hunter:

i share office space with a small firm of chartered accountants. for reasons i find continually baffling, two of the bean counters seem to think it perfectly reasonable to flush inappropriate objects down the loo. things such as crisp packets (empty, Samboy, Tomato fizz flavour or something), fag ends and half eaten apples often appear lurking in the otherwise clear water. the situation is getting out of hand as both i and co-tenants book appointments to interview potential clients at the space. some clients are elderly, while others, namely the remainder, are understandably reluctant to use the brush to push the offending object downwards.
i propose installing a sign tomorrow that states: please don’t flush anything down the lavatory that you have not eaten first.
pretty shrewd, what? i mean, it should solve the dilemma, yes?

-Peter

15 05 2010
James Hunter

peterShould read” please dont flush anything down ………………..thet you have not TASTED first”
you wally

14 05 2010
Grumster

TBL, you have touched upon something that I’ve been pondering of late … that we live in a Bogocracy, which seems to be a result of unconstrained (d)evolution of democracy … in which the Bogan vote carries the same weight as the non-Bogan vote. I’m not sure of the way out of this (alive), perhaps other than to allow legal purchasing of said votes or offering the Bogan a handout to decrease the effective value of their vote? E.g. an entire Bogan electorate might only get the equivalent of one non-Bogan vote – or do you thtink this is still too generous? What about some ruse to keep Bogans away from the polling booth on voting day? E.g. a give-away !3D-DVD-Blue-Ray, interest free* day at some far flung place that doesn’t have a polling booth nearby, the threat of some public intellectual challenge (other than remembering one’s addresses) before being let into the booth? Any ideas?

15 05 2010
David

Thats an easy one: make voting optional. It refines the voting public down to those who can be bothered. The bogan will prefer to stay in its interest free bed.

15 05 2010
Will S

Voluntary voting would put more power in the hand of religious nuts, and other extremists. I’d prefer the bogan, thanks.

15 05 2010
Tombarina

I like your thinking, David, but it’s never gonna fly, for the simple reason that only thing the bogue loves more than an AC/DC tour is a federal election.

It becomes quite excited about the opportunity to exercise its constitutional rights, and enthusiastically fronts the ballot box in an effort to keep the darkies out, the baby bonus a’comin’ and the fishing unrestricted.

Thus it manages to vote quasi-conservatively, while issuing its preferences to the loony fringe.

16 05 2010
miss dahl

So, if bogues can get free money for having babies, can the rest of us get free money for choosing to not have babies? It’s only fair – if the guv’ment can throw money their way, why not throw some our way – are we lesser citizens? I could get on a roll with this and possibly start a revolution…

16 05 2010
Tombarina

People who choose not to breed are indeed ‘lesser citizens’ – as are childless singles, same-sex couples and male/female couples withOUT a sufficiently large brood – eg, only one (as is the case at Chez Tombarina).

The much-beloved election-time phrases “Australian families”, “working families” and “mum and dad investors” only apply to whitebread middle Australia with 2.2 kids, a meedja room and a 4WD they can’t afford to run.

By aligning itself “with” the good ol’ nuclear family, gumments are therefore able to deflect any criticism of their middle-class welfare, internet filters or Nanny State inclinations as “anti-family” or “anti-children” – ie, if you’re not FOR them, you’re automatically AGAINST children. And quite possibly a violent paedophile as well.

I had this nutty notion that if you choose to breed, you fund your kids yourself. Turns out that we also enjoy the right to fund everyone else’s, too. Hurrah!

16 05 2010
miss dahl

Well said, T.

BTW, I’ve always wondered what .2 of a kid looks like ….

16 05 2010
James Hunter

Miss dahl two of a kid look very like twin lambs !

16 05 2010
Sten

Hand me a machete, and you will be enlightened, miss dahl.

16 05 2010
Sam

In a perfect world you are 100% correct.

Unfortunately this isn’t one. Stupid, irresponsible people breed because they can and because they are stupid. There is nothing we can do about it, apart from try and give their kids a chance to make better decisions than their parents.

I disagree with the baby bonus and all it stands for. However, in the beginning, I like to think that the intention of child benefit payments was to benefit children of poorer parents. Unfortunately it has been politically hijacked over the years.

I like to think that the children belong to a) a family and b) to a society. It is in everyones interest (not just the parents) to have decent, well looked after kids. As they have a better chance of growing up into decent adults.

More non-bogans will be bred if paid maternity leave is proportional to income. Things like baby bonuses and means testing of benefits causes devolution….survival of the shittest.

Better yet – offer long term welfare recipients money to not breed.

16 05 2010
James Hunter

sam,

If we could eradicate the catholic church then one of the most evil promoters of rampant fecundity and procreation would be gone. Maybe to late to stop the damage they have done to underdeveloped economies but maybe in time to sopt more of the same.
Then taking the Malthus concept to its conclusion maybe the yanks and the ruskies together could burn up some excess nukes in the middle east, north and south africa and parts of south america.Not to forget large parts of India and China and Pakistan and afganistan. well most places ending in stan would have to go.
Result worlds unproductive yet hungry population halved and the rest live happily ever after
yea bring the revolution.

15 05 2010
reparty

Just gimme my cheque.

16 05 2010
James Hunter

I lnow its about done to death but this business of the Burqua; as as been pointed out if our western socialised women go to Riyadh(sp?) they have to cover from head to toe. so it meqans that they have to conform to the local rules.
Similarly their cranky cunts socialisation women when they come to our society should conform. Certainly if they ever want to be part and have their children be part of this country that they soooo much wanted to come to then they should ponder “when in Rome do as the Romans do” it is not a new concept.
If their husbands are the problem then they(the men) need to be given a quick reality check. Maybe a quick chat behind the toilet block ! ?

16 05 2010
Irrationalist

TBL, I think a post on bogan economics is long overdue. Despite only doing first year economics at a second rate university as part of their business management degree, the bogue seems to think itself an expert on all things economic, and will comment on News ltd. websites to demonstrate this. It shits me to no end to have public debate on economic revolve around the bogan understanding of economics. It whinges about paying too much tax, then whinges about poor quality services. It thinks of Barnaby Joyce as some kind of economic messiah. It criticises the RBA yet doesn’t understand the real impacts of uncontrollable inflation. It whinges about the mining tax, yet has not read the Henry Review and wouldn’t know the first thing about the economics of taxation.

I’m sure a lot of other experts in their field would also have plenty of gripes about the bogan understanding of the field dominating mainstream media.

16 05 2010
Pete

The bogan simply does not appreciate that the economic problem is one of scarcity.

16 05 2010
chubbybloodfart

nice one TBL. this can be like ACA/TT for un-bogues.
I don’t expect I’ll be much use; I tend to ignore the media, and more especially so during elections. A descendant of Broken Hill socialists I vote on genetic lines, irrespective of pork barrelling.
and I will brook no criticism of Gough. I am proudly one of Gough’s children (promised so much, delivered so little) and will go to the grave revering him as a visionary.

16 05 2010
brad

Cough,not Gough-a true shit stain on our nations history who imposed unnecessary economic hardship that lasted the good part of a decade.-I know i grew up in it.

17 05 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter, how would a ‘quick chat behind the toilet block’ undo years and years of culture and tradition. Put a plug in the jug, pops!

17 05 2010
Peter

While information tends to move out to provincial areas at a fairly relaxed pace today, based on this ludicrous comment re. Gough: ‘a visionary’, a carrier pigeon might have been faster last Century.

17 05 2010
Chris Taylor

Nice to see the bogan love of AC/DC being acknowledged. It become pretty obvious after a glassing after their subiaco gig.

1 07 2010
HomeOwner Loans

god i hate SFK, a classmate used too constantly play them,i can still hear the the vocalist’s whining voice in my head years later- i would love too glass the c$%t in mylife.

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