#122 – Ernie Dingo

8 04 2010

As we have amply discussed here at this salon of civic discourse, the bogan is fiercely proud to be Australian. It is wracked with patriotic quiverings whenever Australia’s history is mentioned.  It is like the proverbial horny bull at a rusty gate when making a spectacle of its ‘patriotism’ – whether on its car or on its skin. It fully supports any initiative to keep the country’s borders safe from outsiders. The bogan wants foreigners to know that Australia is bogan country, and any prospective Australian should become a bogan themselves if they expect to be welcomed – otherwise, they should simply ‘go home’.

The bogan believes it possesses all qualities unique to Australians, and has appointed itself both gatekeeper and keymaster to the thrice-locked security locker of boganic Australianness. The existence of indigenous Australians, however, throws a distinctly obstinate spanner into the works of this line of thinking. Whenever a bogan uses the apparently water-tight “I was here first” logic to engender in itself a snugly fitting sense of unchallenged entitlement to the country, a distant but unshakable feeling of self-doubt is stimulated. When this feeling gets too much for the bogan, it reminds itself that it likes Ernie Dingo.

Like many Aboriginal people who are elite athletes or media personalities, Ernie Dingo is embraced with enthusiasm by bogans as the smiley, clean cut face of Aboriginal Australia. In his TV journeys into the outback, Ernie allows the bogan to see the country it is so proud of, witness some maxtreme four wheel driving and perhaps a spot of fishing. It desirously gazes at sumptuous food and luxury accommodation, and chuckles at the assorted on-road hijinks, without, of course, having to leave the couch. More comforting still for the bogan, engagement with the local population is kept to a minimum, and when it does occur, it is at the depth one might expect to accidentally plumb whilst on a Contiki Tour of Thailand.

The bogan’s take on the situation is similar to the bogan’s take on most politically charged topics – simplistic and ill-informed, yet held onto with the white-knuckled grip of the truly terrified. When quizzed on Aboriginal disadvantage, the bogan will take a massive swig on its sixth massive can of Woodstock, and tell you everything would be perfectly fine for Indigenous Australians if they only “got off the booze”. It will tell you Aboriginals get an unfair share of government handouts, yet remain vigilant for opportunities to rort workers’ compensation schemes, and vociferously decry any attempt to reduce indigenous poverty or increase lifespans as “political correctness gone mad”.  The bogan is, however, happy to be pro-Aboriginal when it comes to Ernie Dingo, who delivers it sharp pangs of patriotic pride, mixed with pleasant, light-hearted, unchallenging entertainment. Just as the bogan is happy to take ownership of any Indigenous athlete who earns a gold medal or Premiership trophy. The bogan does a similar thing with New Zealand actors and, at times, homosexuals of note, but is quick to switch around when they fall out of favour, and toss them on the scrapheap of fame.


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319 responses

8 04 2010
Glass 'em all

“The bogan does a similar thing with New Zealand actors and, at times, homosexuals of note, but is quick to switch around when they fall out of favour, and toss them on the scrapheap of fame.”

And, of course, forgive them if they really, really beg.

8 04 2010
bec

And yet, does Ian Roberts really sit in the bogan’s good graces?

The femme-bogue certainly embraced him during his brief Dancing With the Stars tenure…TBL

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh, good point TBL. I forgot about femme-bogues for a moment!
Their male counterparts couldn’t get away from him quick enough. The idea that he was gay might mean there were more gay sports people – a thought best avoided.
(Male gay sports people I mean, of course. The attractive lesbians will always be the stuff of fantasies for them – despite lesbians having committed to discard men altogether…)

8 04 2010
T-ra

I was living in Townsville at the time that Ian Roberts was playing for the Cowboys. Townsville is perhaps one of the most homophobic places in Australia and yet, they loved Ian! I was at a Cowboys game once (yes I have bogan elements about me) and I recall one punter yelling out after Ian had done something particularly brilliant on the field ‘Roberts….you’re a farkin poofda…but we bloody luv you!’ The bogan ability to forgive anyone anything if they are good at sport is truly remarkable.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

T-ra, I was living in NQ then, too, and encountered the same head-scratching logic (loosest possible definition of the word applies here).

Had a rabid Cowboy-supporting, p00f-hating acquaintance explain this apparent conundrum to me thus: “Robbo’s not like them other ones – he’s not a fairy.”

Robbo’s gayness was eclipsed by his rampaging aggression on the field. And as far as most of the bolted-on supporters were concerned, he could have played in sparkly hotpants, as long as the Cowboys kept winning.

8 04 2010
Boganator

I imagine the male bogue admires his fighting ability and playing league for Australia but would choose to ignore his personal life. It might be contagious and that.

8 04 2010
Brides

I’ve been waiting for this delicate issue for bogans… to dismiss or adore indigenous australians because they’re welfare grabbing alcoholics or absolute sports heros who carry their sports teams home every week.
Top work TBL, as an aussie traveler you provide me with daily reminders of why I’m traveling.

8 04 2010
Tubesteak

I was worried it was going to denigrate Ernie Dingo. Something that would be undeserved. But it didn’t and tied it in well.

8 04 2010
Gorey

The “embracing NZ stars” is always amusing. And, given the bogan’s sense of Aussie Pride, extremely confusing.

8 04 2010
Glass 'em all

It’s the flag. A lot of bogans just haven’t counted the stars… or can’t.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

I’m hanging out for a piece on Russell Crowe – surely, he’s the pinnacle’o’bogue? Self-important tosser.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps with a Sam Worthington chaser?

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I agree wholeheartedly. Not only is he an NZ’er that we have claimed as our own, he is famous for being a crap actor in crap movies, aspires to be an artist and a musician (both of which he is even more crap at than acting), and most importantly, bashed some dude with a telephone.

8 04 2010
Tone

The relationship between Russell Crowe and bogans is perplexing. When he’s at a Rabbitohs photo op or he’s just made an x-treme film, bogues think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. However, when he pulls a stunt that manages to outbogue the lot of them (think along the lines of hotel lobbies and telephones), the bogan is the first one to dismiss him as being a ‘fuckin’ sheep shaggin’ Kiwi c*nt’.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Ha! My personal fave was when he got into an altercation with a producer at the BAFTAs.
Lesser lights (Sir Ian Mackellan, Dame Judy Dench et al) managed to adhere to the brief-speech-ruling, but Aussie Russ had prepared a multi-page ode to his grandfather and, dammit, was determined to share it with the world. In its entirety.
Producer had the nerve to prune this tiresome, self-indulgent windbaggery, propelling Aussie Russ in to a truly majestic tantie, which was captured by the cameras.
Champagne comedy. What a spanker.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Balwyn

He should have taken Karl Pilkington’s advice, made some photo copies and handed them out by the door upon the closure of the ceremony!

8 04 2010
Benjamin

He used to be cool. I once saw him interviewed by Andrew Denton, back before he hit the big time (He’d just done Romper Stomper or The Sum of Us – can’t remember which). He was both interesting and amusing.

I guess Hollywood got to his head.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I beg to differ, Benjamin. He was never cool. Or talented. He was the worst thing about Romper Stomper, which wasn’t very good anyway.

8 04 2010
Glass 'em all

I have copy of Jack Marx’s piece about the Rusty machine. It gives perspective.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Haven’t seen Romper Stomper myself. I thought The Sum of Us was pretty good.

I guess what I should have said is that he didn’t appear to be such a wanker then, as he does now. Talents (or lack thereof) aside.

8 04 2010
brad

he was great in romper -given it too those gooks and then given it too that blonde bit.

8 04 2010
Sibyl Ince

The only good thing Crowe has done is “The Colour of War”, where he narrated over original colour WWII footage, and read excerpts from letters written by soldiers. If you’ve not seen it, I recommend it, and preferably before you view Spielberg’s “Pacific”, which I expect to portray the same incidents and battles, only with lipgloss.

8 04 2010
Antosha

ALAS !!! My Bogan count is now two! I must add being a Russell Crowe fan to my enjoying of holidaying in Thailand…

ALAAAASSS !!! I shall never look upon a glass the same !!

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Instead of having your eye on a nice piece of glassware, you might find it in your eye.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Here’s hoping Ernie doesn’t go the same route as David Gulpilil.

8 04 2010
brad

he’ii always have Mr Percival

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I predict a tumultuous day in the comments room today.

You heard it here first, kids.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Is this a good time to bring up Godwin’s Law then? Having just learnt about it here yesterday, I’d say racism will get us there today, for sure!

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Godwin’s law is always relevant, but today we will approach one with increased velocity.

8 04 2010
Indeed

Sorry this is a bit off topic….but could you please do a post on Andrew Bolt? It would be much appreciated.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

“…the thrice-locked security locker of boganic Australianness”.

Frighteningly true.

Furthermore, I would like to offer this emotive phrase up to yesterdays naysayers as proof of TBLs blossoming writing talents.

8 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Along with “simplistic and ill-informed, yet held onto with the white-knuckled grip of the truly terrified.”

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Quite right Shirley. I believe I, more than anyone else here (as I have a higher degree in the Classics), am best able to judge TBL’s linguistic capabilities and I hold them in very high regard.

I do, however, suspect that the final product is being polished prior to delivery by one particular member of the team.

8 04 2010
Sten Mk II

say, fi fi, did you do a course at university by chance??

9 04 2010
James

Nothing particularly advanced, unfortunately. But Fiona does appear to be reasonably well educated.

9 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. As if. I’m sure you are aware of the prestige of an M.St. from the place I received it.

9 04 2010
James

I am. I am also aware that while it is prestigious compared to other post-graduate degrees on offer, it is still a lesser degree than my own highest accomplishment.

9 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Taking into account your likely place of conferral and the content (International Studies), it’s clear that your higher degree is in fact inferior to mine.

9 04 2010
James

Not according to the venerable institution which conferred your higher degree, madam.

9 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Tell me then, which venereal institution DID confer your PhD in International Studies?

9 04 2010
James

My own venerable institution does not deal in international studies. I highly doubt that “venerable” would apply to any institution that does.

9 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Good thing I referred to it as venereal then, isn’t it?

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

A “higher degree” in classics, how does this bear relevance to the Aboriginal ? We know what the Spartans did with the Helots.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

As I recall it, our M.St. graduate hasn’t weighed in on the Aboriginal ‘debate’.

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

what is a “higher degree” exactly ?

Rather unsual term.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. An educational attainment from a university higher than a Bachelor’s degree. In my case, a Master of Studies from… a certain place.

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Im sorry , Im still not getting you..A master of studies in classics ??

Hmmmm

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And that’s my fault? I answered your question, must I also research it for you?

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

A “higher degree in classics”means exatly what ?

*stifled laughter*

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Ernie, who mutual acquaintances assure me really IS a fantastic and very genuine bloke, is beloved by bogans because there is nothing challenging nor confronting about him. “Look, Daz – he’s just like a proper Aussie – if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t even know he was black!”

Ernie has published bogue-unfriendly views on bogue-unfriendly issues such as racism and endemic indigenous alcoholism which he sheets home to the whities, but he has had the good sense to express these sparingly, apolitically, and in media channels not usually accessed by bogues (ie, Zoo or ACA/TT). If a bogue DID stray from its approved meedja avenues and accidentally stumble across such an interview, the shock of this would be soon superceded by Ernie’s next whacky jape in the Maldives. (“Look Daz – Ernie caught another fish – what a legend!”)

You see, we don’t like our handful of bogue-approved blackfellas to actually say anything. The erudite, progressive, articulate and eminently practical Noel Pearson is regarded with suspicion, largely because he’s even worse than “indigenous” – he’s an “academic” (*shudder, conniption*)

It’s also worth noting that Tall Poppy Syndrome is alive and well in indigenous communities, where those with aspirations or significant achievements to their credit run the risk of being dismissed as ‘coconuts’ – dark on the outside, but white to the core.

It’s all rather discouraging…..

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Thank you.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Sorry. Probably sounds a bit ranty. But that’s how we roll in these here parts.
😛

8 04 2010
T-ra

Well said Tombarina! I must admit when I read this morning’s post my first thought was ‘ooo I’m not touching that one’…but your comment put it in a much better perspective for me!

8 04 2010
Benjamin

No, the thanks was genuine. Really!

You’ve added insight into a difficult debate.

8 04 2010
Sibyl Ince

“is beloved by bogans because there is nothing challenging nor confronting about him.”

Precisely. I think Bogapedia states that they’re bloody dinky-di, true blue ‘little Aussie battlers’ so long as they don’t hold an opinion.

10 04 2010
pinky has a brain

True and excellently put.

10 04 2010
Tombarina

Yep. Cathy Freeman lost a lot of her lustre for that outrageous blackfella flag-around-the-shoulders nonsense.

And Anthony Mundine (surely, one of the biggest wnkers to walk this earth) would be a bogue God if only he’d stuck to slagging off at his opponents in faux-Bronx fashion and being a brilliant footballer/boxer. Instead, he blathered on about “his people” (although it was never clear if the people in question were indigenous or Muslim). Ba-bong…..

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

This will be a long one.
Let me tell you, first of all, about me.
I had a gentle upbringing in Hobart and on The Sunshine Coast. In that order. I didn’t really encounter racism because it was all so Billy Bunter and then White Bread that there was nothing to be racist about. or at.
and here in the early 21st century I am in my early forties a semi retired tattooed tradie. I own an english bull terrier and I still smoke white ox. Chances are most of my esteemed company would not want to chat with me if they say me letting Nuts out of the New Stater (Lizbef!) for a romp on the oaklands road oval!
anyway
Scroll back to the mid 1990’s and our hero arrives on the west coast of australia as a tradesman of some years experience, soon to be in the employ of the state electricity commision.
This is the first time in my life I truly encountered racism.
A montage if you will.
…day one on the job standing with a workmate on a public street as a Noongar man approaches us dressed normally in shorts and Tshirt. “Look at this filthy bl*ck c*nt.” Certainly got a cramp in my eyebrow off that one.
The hierachy at this institution was that Anglo’s were the tradesmen, European Migrants (yes wogs) could be plant operators or drivers (interesting to note that old poms were also considered wogs in the hierachy), aboriginals could be shit shovellers and labourers or completely absent. Of course if they were in the crew they had to be ‘integrated’. I had a particularly vociferous day with a colleague once. Apon our return to the depot that afternoon, he singled out one of the only two noongar guys in our yard “Hey Charlie, this bloke thinks your people have had a rough trot!” Charlie’s reply was “F*ck the drunken Caants!” cue laughter. The saddest f@cking thing I’ve ever seen. (except maybe Uncle Ho quietly weeping at work one morning in sydney during the Hanson years. Some bogan yells at him from a car “Go Home ya expletive epithet!” he was malay chinese. “I live this country thirty years. my children born here. my children Aussie.” It had never happened to him before.)
By the way, I bought a darling little piece of real estate in the west, at a place called Redcliffe. it was under the flight path, but literally five minutes from the CBD. Capitali$ed on that baby! bought it for 130k!! A haha a ha a hahahaa! anyway. it seems it was previously a housing commission area. full of y’know… them. anyway. commission moved everyone out to a new subdivision north east somewhere, split all the old blocks in four and sold it off to yuppies like me! oh that’s right, they called the new suburb Coondoola.
Cue laughter.
The whole attitude was ingrained. Indigenes were fauna in the west australian zeitgeist. dangerous fauna also. Around the suburbs where I worked “Gangs” were at “War”. Vietnamese and Aboriginal. (it was in the paper) fighting over the bottom rung. Hey I bet the vietnamese want more muslim immigration right? Sure took the heat off them.
where was I?
What a horrible kick in the life to be a fifteen year old boy living in mirrabooka and suddenly realise “I’m a c**n.”
I can not fathom the hard hearted pig f@cking ignorance of racism.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Thanks for that. I think I’m going to get an education today. Happily, while I’ve had (and have) friends from a variety of races, creeds etc, I’ve never really personally experienced or seen much racism.

On a more amusing note, I once read this somewhere on the net (can’t find it now):

“Son, don’t be racist. Most people are arseholes and will give you reason to hate them anyway”.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. tl;dr.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Good grief. How did you ever finish your Classics degree?

I’m beginning to think you are actually ancient, using your inheritance to grossly and vilely extend your lifespan (more machine than human), and that your degree came from a time when only attendance was necessary to achieve it.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m less than 30, thank you very much!

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Is that round the hips?

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not quite, but close. 🙂

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

but on topic and poignant.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

…and colourful.

😛

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Yes Chubby I have also experienced this type of discrimination/racism.

My husband and I were up in the Burdekin Region NQ on a working holiday.
Hubby was working with a contractor planting sugar cane. The same division of labour was present. White fellas operate the machines, black fellas do the manual work. The contractor would rather put a backpacker on the tractor than let one of the Murris at it. We experienced this directly when a tractor driver walked off the job one day. Hubby was instantly promoted to tractor driver despite having been on the crew a few weeks. The two Murri fellas he was working with absolutely refused to operate the machinery, despite having been working for the same contractor every season for ten years.

8 04 2010
Glass 'em all

You up to writing a book, chubby? Cause I’d buy a copy. Worth reading, thanks.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the bastard love child of andrew denton, paul mcdermott and the bader meinhoff group.
Raised by his uncle Gough.
coached by Roy Slaven at Lithgow under nines.
it writes itself.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Beautifully and passionately put, Chub. You should don the Serious Hat more often.

I’m with you 100pc. There are people I heartily dislike, for an astonishing array of reasons; and people I adore for equally varied attributes, views and actions. I can honestly say it’s never been on the basis of ethnicity.

I don’t respect the lazy, am repelled by the determinedly ignorant and have no time for gimme-gimmes. And in my experience, these traits are pretty evenly scattered across ethnic groups, societal strata and income bands.

8 04 2010
Simon

A story if I may. I sent many years working in the far north of WA in the livestock industry and did alot of work with aboriginal owned stations, some good, some bad but thats not the point here. I was at a station outside of Onslow drafting sheep to go to the abatoirs. We drafted about 5000 sheep and one particular aboringinal boy stuck up the front all day pushing the sheep up to me which is really hard work.

When we finished drafting I looked at him and said “how did I go?”, He said “not bad for a whitey, how many sheep there”, I replied “no idea, I was too busy drafting to count, how many did you count?’. He then said “don’t ask me boss I’m just a black fella” with a huge grin on his face. I nearly wet myself with laughter.

Anyway bit off topic but I loved my work on the aboriginal stations despite the frustrations encountered with “the aboriginal industry”.

8 04 2010
Scotoolarf

Chubbybloodfart, I can truly sympathise, unfortunately working in the same industry. Waste-of-power truly is a concentration of everything wrong with the west aussie bogan. From the top to the bottom.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

just off topic scot..
while I was working at WPC circa 1998 I enquired about getting study assistance to work in remote (ergo renewable) power systems ( a big gig over there as so much is off the grid and diesel powered) I spoke to whoever was in charge of the ‘environment’ wing; I dont think the word renewable was in popular usage then. he told me essentially that it was all just tokenism really and he couldn’t see much of a future for renewable energy. I’ll bet I beat him to retirement.
visionary place.

8 04 2010
brad

Perth is such a trip,the in ya face animosity and racism is an eye opener for a for an outer east cracker from Melbourne.A very contentious issue and having spent some time with friends/family in this fine city the issue is a two way street(isnt everything?)Spent a couple of months some years ago exploring and enjoying WA (not on the moines!),and the running joke with my mates was that i wasnt a chick-magnet,but an ab-magnet as i would always end up on the piss with the locals.I guess i just liked there honesty and lack of pretension,ill take people as they come and then decide if they’re peanuts.Besides they always knew the best fishing spots,and loved AFL,good enough reason too share a jar with someone.

8 04 2010
loftie

I just loved his ‘cameo’ in Crocodile Dundee as – you guessed it… an Abo in the bush…

Wonder how many ‘bogues’ figured this was a rort…
‘Hey Tommo, that abo isn’t acting – thats reality TV!!’

8 04 2010
reparty

Anyone remember Bush Mechanics? THAT was an outback lifestyle show.

8 04 2010
Tone

I wonder how many of the bogues that are Ernie Dingo fans also have a copy of ‘Treaty’ by Yothu YIndi on cassingle stashed away somewhere …?

8 04 2010
Jasper

Cassingle!

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I still have a Cassingle. It’s Andrew Ridgley’s ‘Shake!’

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Great job TBL!!

I agree with the comments posted already. I don’t really know what to say. I just can’t understand racism at all. It makes no sense to me.
What is really frustrating is that these bogues are so ignorant and insular that they are not even aware of how ridiculous their views are and how they don’t stand up to any rational thought.

I have actually been present at a BBQ and someone has hushed everyone so they could tell a racist joke about an Aboriginal.
Gobsmacked!
Tumbleweeds

What the f@ck!!

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I don’t want to get all ‘heavy’ or anything, but let me tell you a story about a young tasmanian bogue lassie.

She had moved to Brisbane and was regaling me with tales of her homeland. She lamented that Tassie just wasn’t the same as it used to be because so many mainlanders were moving down there. She had a Tasmania for the Tasmanians policy (Godwin’s Law, right here, folks). I reminded her that her forefathers had rounded up and slaughtered every single one of the original ‘Tasmanians’. She said ‘Well I didn’t know that, and what the fuck has that got to do with me, anyway?’

I bet she loves Ernie.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

My friend and her brother who are half Torres Strait Islanders had rocks thrown at them by other children every day when they were walking to and from school. In Tasmania. They were 10 and 8 years old.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

She probably has no idea why we said sorry.

“Yeah, and what was that fuckin’ sorry thing anyway”

8 04 2010
Shirley M

She had no idea about anything at all, really. Blissfully ignorant. Exactly the kind of person I have no time at all for.

She thought lightning caused earthquakes. I’m not even joking.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

hahahahahahaa!
etc.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Wow. That’s truly excellent.

I was once argued with by someone firmly convinced lions were male and tigers were female. No amount of logic (including that they exist on separate continents) would convince them otherwise. I wish I was making this up!

8 04 2010
Tombarina

No. No. Just…..no.

Shirl, pls reassure me this person was only visiting Bris, and doesn’t actually live here. Please. I’m pretty sure stupidity on that scale could actually kill off the braincells of innocent bystanders. I need to know if it’s time to whip up a piece of tinfoil dumb-deflecting headwear.

Also how did you react to news of the lightning/earthquake confluence? Details, details!!!!

8 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

“I’m pretty sure stupidity on that scale could actually kill off the braincells of innocent bystanders”
Especially since most Brisbane residents don’t have much in the say of brain cells in the first place. But then again, being so stupid could equip them to assimilate (which you’re expected to do in this overgrown country town – or else).

8 04 2010
S

All you intellegent people must, MUST, make more babies.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Instead of what currently happens: you less “intellegent” (sic) people having them all.

9 04 2010
S

Just showing my suppor and spelling dyspraxia.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Nixie! Harsh!

I’d argue that, for the most part, Brisbane has a brilliant balance between accessibility and diversity. And has yet to entirely disappear up its own bottom.

Then again, living here, I’m probably not bright enough to judge. Sorry….(*shambles off in search of glass*)

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Most of the Brisbane people I know have a healthy collection of brain cells. Perhaps that says more about the company I keep rather than the over-reaching intelligence of the city, though.

8 04 2010
Tone

Brisbane’s problem is that it is sandwiched between two regions whose main claim to fame is hoovering up a never-ending supply of bogues from South Of The Border.

I suspect that the ignorant Brisvegans mentioned by Nixie may be Mexican imports.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

My thoughts, precisely!

8 04 2010
Antosha

Now now Whistling Nixie…. you are knocking the likes of Bernard Fanning and myself…

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Bernard Fanning deserves to be knocked.. and then some.

8 04 2010
Tone

Bernard Fanning is worthy of a TBL entry on his own.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

and Daniel bloody Johns!
even though he’s not from Brisbane.
a jolly good knocking for Daniel.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I think the lass in question moved on to somewhere else. Don’t know for sure, and I’m not at all interested to find out.

Naturally, I thought her earthquake theory was a joke, and laughed heartily. The look on her face told me she was serious. Actually – she always had the same fish-like look on her face, so I probably just made that bit up. Anyway… I proceeded to inform her about tectonic plates, fault lines etc. She said… and I kid you not “So, lightning caused the fault lines, right?”

8 04 2010
Tombarina

*coffee snort*
Ouch!

I don’t know which is more entertaining – this fresh and vibrant new take on geological forces, or Alyssa’s “boy lions and girl tigers” person.

And ALL of these people vote. Excellent.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Vote AND breed.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Oh yeah. They breed. More frightful than the voting, really.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Nah.. they don’t vote. They’re hungover on Saturday mornings, and have to get ready to go out clubbing by mid Saturday afternoon.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Baby-bogues, sure.

But the adult of the species becomes quite excited about the opportunity to exercise its constitutional right and enthusiastically fronts the ballot box in an effort to keep the darkies out, the baby bonus a’comin’ and the fishing unrestricted.

Thus it manages to vote quasi-conservatively, while issuing its preferences to the loony fringe.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

oh dear

8 04 2010
Benjamin

And their blood runs through her veins…

It is such a pity – such a beautiful place, with such a history, and such apparent insularity (so I’ve heard – I’ve spent time there but haven’t experienced it myself).

Maybe the folks moving down there will help, depending on why they are moving. I have hopes of retiring there someday, down south of Hobart near Cockle Creek. Even with the ghosts of complete and utter genocide and whaling, it is such a peaceful, profoundly beautiful place.

Having said that, where I live now isn’t exactly exempt from the genocide – here it was simply less extreme, and less insidious (poisoned flour for Pete’s sake! Who came up with that?).

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Wow. I say “such” a lot. Sigh.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

s’okay Benj.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Ta.

It is often good to write stuff down, and then reread it.

It reminds myself what a wanker I am. Nothing like perspective for an educator.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I used to have a problem like yours. I used to say ‘substantiate’ a lot. I think it was a side effect from my degree.

8 04 2010
Sten Mk II

a degree in the classics? available free in boxes of coco pops.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. RWP.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Not exactly. And no.

8 04 2010
Simon

At least you don’t say like alot.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Or “alot”.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Indeed. “alot” is right up there with incorrect your/you’re and the misspellings of definitely, for me…

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So you’ve turned on me now too?

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Was that reply on the wrong comment? 😉

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Sure – well it makes perfect sense there then! 🙂

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’re dead to me.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I am sooo bad at spelling definately.
no idea where I picked it up. the other one is maintainance.
just ingrained.

i also don’t like the way I write 9.
just a bit more about me 🙂

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

just remember it’s “finite” and it’s easy

8 04 2010
Simon

Bugger!

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Maybe you and your claimed friend deserve each other because the Tasmanian Aboriginals were not “slaughtered” out of existence.Disease and PRIVATE warfare and a little warfare with us on the side is what in fact killed them but mostly disease.Where on Earth do you people get your history from ?

15 04 2010
Shirley M

I could ask you the same question.

15 04 2010
Tombarina

Don’t bother.

BFFJ is clearly reading from Keith Winschuttle’s revered historic tome “Naughty Dirty Tassie Jungle Bunnies and the Excellent White Folk Who Tried So Hard To Save Them”.

15 04 2010
Shirley M

I daresay you’re right.

Just in case she/he returns, I’ll leave this link.

http://australia-day-and-night.blogspot.com/2007/06/aboriginal-holocaust-in-tasmania.html

15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

What a fucking sad story. I vote for a republic.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

y’know.
I was anti in the ref.

but it occurs to me that if we did go republic just now, we could say “right. this is it. starting now, this is australia – black brown yellow pink, beige or orange.”
if you don’t like it you can piss of to a refugee camp.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

The referendum was a farce. It was ‘do you want this particular style of a republic, or no republic at all’

I donkey voted.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It was actually fascinating to watch – John Howard was at his masterful best. He played Phil Clearly like a cheap violin, using him to turn the Republicans in on themselves and effectively killing their side of the issue.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I realised how many of my friends were idiots that year.

When will Australia be old enough to grow up?

29 08 2012
Spyder

*bows* You’re simply the best!

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh.
tasmanians mysteriously got sick simultaneously and went to war on each other?
what an unfortunate coincidence.

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

It is a stretch to say we “slaughtered “everyone when disease played such a major role.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmanian_Aborigines
A number of historians point to introduced disease as the major cause of the destruction of the full-blooded Aboriginal population.

I know this doesnt tee up with your “nasty whitey slaughtering everyone” fantasies to fuel your self loathing/general loathing of Australian people/culture but it is a fact supported by many historians. People like you inhibit the capacity to have Aboriginals engage with us when you spoon feed them an idea we hated them so much that all we did was slaughter them for kicks.

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

how did the disease get there?
“self loating” style language is straight out of white pride diatribe.
in all seriousness and with all the love in the world, change your reading material. you are being fed hate.

It’s not so much that tasmanian aborigines suffered disease and mal treatment which stands out here. That is the story of all indigenes in colonial times. The tasmanians stand out because they were destroyed utterly. to the last man and woman. they should live forever in memory as a testament to the ignorance of the times, lest we forget.

ask your Nanna how she feels about Japanese people.
ask her how she felt during the war when everyone was terrified the yellow horde would come and wipe them out.

seek empathy.

15 04 2010
chubbybloodfart
15 04 2010
AlyssaKT

nice move, Tony 🙂

15 04 2010
Shirley M

I could only have put it a little better myself 😉

By the way jallopie dude. Wikipedia is probably not the most reliable vehicle of education. You know those things called books? Give ’em a go. Go on.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

well I never had no fancy book learnin’s

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

You are talking about a time when people barey knew a thing about disease and it’s spread.We were dying of these diseases ourselves, it was a part of life.
How is it hate that historians recognise disease contrbuted to many deaths among Aboriginals ? That is rather melodramatic.
Hate speech is more ” we hated you so much that your deaths were result of sunday hunting spees”

You do realise that the reason they were wiped out so quickly by all this was because they numbered less than 9,000 and quite possibly as few as 2,000?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Did you even read the article you linked to back up your argument?

“5,000 to a few hundred, as a result of the ethnic conflict called the Black War, one of the first documented modern genocides. The few survivors were kept in a camp on Flinders Island, where disease and neglect reduced their numbers even further until one of the last of the full blooded Palawa, a woman called Trugernanner (often rendered as Truganini), died in 1876.”

What I take from this is that over 4000 aboriginals were killed by white people, those who survived were locked up, neglected and ultimately died from disease. So according to the evidence you presented, my original point that the tasmanian aboriginals were slaughtered firmly stands.

Now run along.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

*golf clap*

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

The same as the Prisoners of her Majesty then ?

From “the”source “Bonwick also recorded a strong Aboriginal oral tradition of an epidemic even before formal colonisation in 1803. “Mr Robert Clark, in a letter to me, said : “I have gleaned from some of the aborigines, now in their graves, that they were more numerous than the white people were aware of, but their numbers were very much thinned by a sudden attack of disease which was general among the entire population previous to the arrival of the English, entire tribes of natives having been swept off in the course of one or two days illness.” “ [32] Such an epidemic may be linked to contact with sailors or sealers.
At the Wybalenna Aboriginal establishment on Flinders Island, described by historian Henry Reynolds as the ‘best equipped and most lavishly staffed Aboriginal institution in the Australian colonies in the nineteenth century’,[37] they were provided with housing, clothing, rations of food, the services of a doctor and educational facilities. Convicts were assigned to build housing and do most of the work at the settlement including the growing of food in the vegetable gardens. The Aborigines were free to roam the island and were often absent from the settlement for extended periods of time on hunting trips.[38] However, of the 220 who arrived with Robinson, most died in the following 14 years from introduced disease. The birth rate was extremely low with few children surviving infancy

The Aborigines began to raid settlers’ huts for food. This resistance first took shape in 1824 when it has been estimated by Lyndall Ryan that 1000 Aborigines remained in the settled districts.

Between 1826 and 1831 a pattern of guerrilla warfare by the Aborigines was identified by the colonists

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

so what is your source for the “nglect” at Flinders?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

neglecting the fact that they preferred not to live in houses, wear “clothes”, or eat european food, perhaps?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

From the article you linked.

I suppose you’re an advocate of ‘the holocaust never happened’ movement?

8 04 2010
Robbie

I love today’s post – once again, brilliantly written 🙂

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Linking to Wikapedia makes a person a holocaust denier as well ?
When knowledge fails you then get out the straws! That is paranoia on a massive scale.

Wiki nazism too is it ?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Paranoia?

I have no idea what you are talking about.

8 04 2010
SD

I was to abstain from posting today – too much work. But taking a cue from Fi, I think I am going to develop the “SD the Asian” persona with the express purpose of being a bit of a disruptor in the love fest here.

More often than not by reason of economics it is bogues who tend to hang out and fraternise with immigrants and aboriginals (and let’s face it, immigrants and aboriginals have their own set of racial prejudices)-if anyone ventured out to Sydney’s west this would be quite apparent. Even new age bogues span all types, glued together by new wealth and similar attitudes. In contrast, inner city suburbs pretty much tend to be white enclaves inspite of a plethora of cuisine stops-white indie culture can be quite insular. As are the Mosman and Tooraks of the world which combine loads of money with shockingly narrow perspectives on life (they are as ripe for satire as bogues).

As for indigenous disadvantage, it’s far more complex than usually portrayed. In a previous life I spent a fair bit of study time up north and I have never forgotten what a school teacher there told me. Namely, any ideas of aboriginal upliftement had eventually turned into a middle class job industry, be it the missionaries or the NGOs and government bodies at work now. It is true that some of these people were very dedicated and lovely people, still at heart it was about creating jobs for middle classes opting out of the system.

Also I know aboriginal is an easy catch-all term but its really quite generic. Given the largeness of the country, there is no single aboriginal culture but most people I know can barely reel off the names of even half a dozen aboriginal groups in this country even as they are mocking a bogue’s Ernie worship. Without wiki we wouldn’t even know Ernie’s origins apart from as a generic aboriginal.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Encyclopedia Dramatica has (or had) an interesting article on what it means to be aboriginal.

8 04 2010
A-Bomb

I remember reading about the gentrification of the inner suburbs of Melbourne.

A journalist was pleased with himself that he was mixing it with “real people” because he was sipping his coffee in a trendy new-age cafe across the road from the housing commission flats. Much better than the white bread suburbs he grew up in.
Then he looks around and sees the cafe is full of white hipsters, the shops are all full of white hipsters, and the “real people” (immigrants) that he and all the other white people wanted to be around have all gone because the place is too expensive to live now.

8 04 2010
A-Bomb

I remember having my inner-suburban Melbourne latte sipping views on Aborigines rattled by a lady I worked with. She was pretty bogan; a nurse from Townsville who voted One Nation (to which her husband was appalled apparently) and whose son worked in the mines.
She told me with very non-bogue conviction that the aborigines in Townsville were dangerous drunks who did nothing to help themselves, and that walking around town at night felt unsafe because of them.
While I may be uncomfortable with how rascist her views were, I’ve got no reason to believe that she wasn’t telling the truth. It’s pretty sad.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Despite what any of us think (or rather, want to think), the fact remains that the closer you live to ANY particular ethnic group, the more racist you are likely to be about them.

8 04 2010
A-Bomb

Yeah, I hate those scum from South Yarra. Frickin’ South Yarraians, take our jobs, steal our women…and don’t get me started on bloody native Richmondians and Malvernites.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So true. Except that of course, I don’t care about anyone taking anyone’s job. I do mind them taking up seats at the places I have coffee and take luncheon, however.

8 04 2010
Will S

That’s probably why we all dislike bogans so much…

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You may well be right!

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Exactly Fi,
That is why we hate Bogans so much ?

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

True. I’m lucky enough to have never seen one race behave worse than another. Apart from my own, of course. (White guys glassing cunts.)

8 04 2010
Shirley M

This is only partly true. Living close to, or regularly dealing with an ethnic group other than your own often leads to judgements based on comparison of culture (eg. Indians are rude). Becoming more intimately involved with another ethnic group allows for an understanding of these cultural differences to develop.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Also true – I don’t disagree.

I wonder what would happen if I lived near poor people? Like in South Yarra, Double Bay or Peppermint Grove.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

They would kill you Fiona. Don’t do it.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The coroner’s report: “death was brought on by excessive blood loss from a facial laceration”.

“Oh yeah mate, we glassed that c*nt good!”

😦

8 04 2010
Sten Mk II

they’d shove your phoney ‘classics’ degree from university of Sanitarium fair and square up your spacious arse.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

yeah!
they’re well hard at peppermint grove!

8 04 2010
Benjamin

*laughing out loud*

Childish but hilarious. Thank you sir.

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

No, it was a “higher degree”….

That brought on the chortles from my hubster who happens to be a BA in Ancient history.

what a wanker….”higher degree”…..yeah, suuuure

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

now…what is a “higher degree” exactly?

*waiting*

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So just an undergrad degree then?

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

You’re still not explaining …Did you get this “degree” in Australia?

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

Fiona, You claim to own “big boats”, New York Apartments,have two pools ,live in Toorak, have a degree only available in 3 universities on Earth and yet spend all your yachting time contributing to this and many other blogs/new services religiously ?
Your contributions betray a middle/middle background at best and certainly not a highly educated one, no matter how many wankfest”lesser peoples” you throw around.

I feel sorry for the dimwits who believe your delusions.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Of course she didn’t. You can’t get a higher degree in the classics in Australia.

Personally, I’m curious as to why you care?

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Excellent example, Shirley. We’re having an issue (I’m aware it’s a national issue) on the Gold Coast of late regarding Indian taxi drivers. Many people loudly claim they’re rude. I’ve had a dozen different Indian taxi drivers and not one was rude. Of course, I was very polite. No one (who’s doing the complaining) ever thinks it might be them…

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Further to that, on a mountain walk at Springbrook over the Easter weekend I smiled at an Indian lady who was with her family, dressed in a gorgeous saree. She beemed a smile back at me. I think I might have been her first encounter with a welcoming Australian. That saddens me no end.

8 04 2010
SD

Alyssa do you get about much at all? Let me assure you heaps of people smile at me even when I wear my native dress – encounters with welcoming Australians are not that uncommon.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

That’s good to hear.
It seems with a lot of the racism lately that newcomers are being very cautious.
There were other people on the walk who perhaps weren’t so generous with smiles and courtesy perhaps…

There was a tour group there (of another race) who stomped 2 abreast along the walk, forcing people coming from the opposite direction to stop, move off the path and wait. Courtesy and common sense can be amiss among many…

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I spent a some time as a Maitre d’ at one of Brisbane’s top restaurants (scoff away, Melbournians) and I can understand statements such as Indians are rude. Those who have spent their whole lives in Mumbai have a far different way of dealing with people than we do. To us, it’s brusk and demanding. When you are invited into an Indian’s home for dinner, on the other hand, their graciousness and hospitality far exceeds that of any Australian’s.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

True.

Apparently it is also common in India to answer the phone with “What do you want?”.

(Personally I prefer the “Ahoy” as Bell intended).

8 04 2010
Shirley M

I like to answer the phone with ‘so whatcha whatcha whatcha whaant?’

Perhaps this is why no one calls me.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Except the Beastie Boys?

8 04 2010
Shirley M

If by The Beastie Boys, you mean my mum, then yes.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I guess she’s more of the Beastie Lady variety. No offence.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

None taken. I might start calling her Mum D from now on.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Mixmaster Mum has a nicer ring to it. LOL, ring.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Haha. True. However her name is Deborah, so Mum D is apt. Apt!

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Mum D it is. You should make her wear a giant clock around her neck and have her ask, sorry, axe, you what time it is.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

A-Bomb, I’ve no reason to disbelieve your friend’s story.

Townsville (AKA Isa-By-The-Sea) has problems. I was king-hit by a drunk man in the main shopping mall at 11.30AM (not PM – AM) after I ignored a demand for $20 and a packet of cigarettes. This did little for my sense of personal safety, nor to dampen my burgeoning view that the place was an utter $hthole.

However, I felt no more threatened in Brownsville than in any other convergence point for disaffected people with major substance abuse issues. Several suburbs in Sydney and Melbourne spring to mind.

8 04 2010
Sir Danksalot

Maybe some discussion on the inane reasons for racism could ensue…
One being, “They take our jobs!”
Um, excuse me Monsieur Bogue but I didn’t see you put your hand up at roll call to accept the job of toilet cleaner on a high-rise office tower or 7-eleven clerk on the graveyard shift or cabbie on the I’ll-glass-you-then-spew-in-your-leased-car shift.
“They” do whatever job they have to so they can get by. There is a wide-reaching glass ceiling based on skin colour that unfortunately exists. Is there any way to break through?
comments appreciated…
PS: Keep up the great work TBL

8 04 2010
Benjamin

““They” do whatever job they have to so they can get by. There is a wide-reaching glass ceiling based on skin colour that unfortunately exists. Is there any way to break through?”

My anecdote isn’t data, but I haven’t seen this. I’m in a technical field, and have seen engineers and managers of all skin colours on a regular basis. Hell, I’ve interviewed and recommended engineers that fit these descriptions. At one job, the management folks almost had a “UN Security Council” of managers – I think there was just the one nation missing.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

8 04 2010
SD

Benjamin I am a techie and your observation is spot on. It’s a pretty level playing field. The liberal arts and related careers is a different story.

8 04 2010
Sir Danksalot

I was not trying to piegonhole by using “They”, merely referring to my bogue quote. Obviously there are people of all ethinicities and backgrounds working in all manner of jobs and i can only comment on my experience in the white-collar world of finance that there is a massive “old-boys” thing going on where its who you know, not what you know and i have seen many examples of over-qualified migrants not making it any further than the IT heldesk when they could have been running the company given half a chance.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

I never thought you were 🙂 I was quoting your quote of a bogue quote.

Er – did that make sense?

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

close enough:

Kyle Sandilands: What do you hate honey?

Caller: Look I’m really annoyed with Kyle. He just called that guy that just rung up, Sam, umm, shut up you dumb wog.

Kyle Sandilands: Yeah I did.

Caller: Oh it’s Kyle!

Kyle Sandilands: What’s wrong with that?

Caller: Kyle, that’s not very nice

Kyle Sandilands: Well, did you hear what he said to me?

Jackie O: Now you’re copping it.

Kyle Sandilands: What am I supposed to say when they say you’re a big fat red-headed loser that thinks you’re a gangster. I’m not allowed to say shut up you crazy wog?

Caller: No, that’s just so racist Kyle.

Kyle Sandilands: No it’s not racist. It’s not racist darl. It’s not racist. Wog’s a wog, and that’s it. Let’s just get over this political correctness junk that you guys that live on MIX. That’s what you think.

— 2Day FM, The Kyle and Jackie O Show, 19th October,

*ding*

I should get some sort of prize!

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

…for sandilands law.
anybody?

8 04 2010
Shirley M

The problem I have with Sandiland’s law is that it perpetuates the mentioning of his name.

So.. I get it, and it’s slightly funny.. but the greater good and all of that…

8 04 2010
Tombarina

BTW – and kinda on-topic – there’s a white pride music festival being held on the Goldie: http://www.goldcoast.com.au/article/2010/04/05/204805_gold-coast-news.html

I’ve a shiny penny that says it’ll be chock-full of dullards who hate anyone who’s not “one of them” (ie white, unemployed and thick as custard) but who quite like Ernie. And it’s nice to see them taking an interest in the arts.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

turn on the gas taps.

crazy for this godwin thing.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Wow – I did not know about this at all!
Which makes me quite relieved actually, as I would have definitely known if any of my Facebook friends were going. I must keep better company than I suspected! (Result : oft Bogans, never Aryans 🙂

8 04 2010
Will S

If you want to vomit a bit, check out these guys
http://australianidentity.net/index.php?topic=2544.0
and particularly, this image

the existence of Aboriginal people truly causes immense cognitive dissonance to the racist bogue… fortunately they can get around it by not thinking [about them] too much.

8 04 2010
pb

on a semi-related note, did anyone catch hungry beast last night? the did a very interesting piece on the ‘gang of 49’ in adelaide – a supposed gang of indigenous criminals, but really just a media beat-up, that is actually causing more problems, not less.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Sounds interesting, but I can’t quite bring myself to watch Hungry Beast. Good concept, and often some really good, strong issues well-reported.

But the overall tone and production is a little too earnest and amateur-hour. Forcefully applying a cheese grater to my ears produces a similar result.

Shame, because I’d have been very interested in that story. My loss.

8 04 2010
pb

i think you can probably watch just that clip on their website. they can be hit and miss with some of their sillier segments, but their actual serious investigations are very good.

8 04 2010
Tone

I concur. Hungry Beast is a great concept, but weakly executed. Think along the lines of 1st Year Journalism students telling us how wonderfully insightful they are because they can Google something and turn it into a ‘hard hitting exposé’.

8 04 2010
Will S

Anyone for “Things Undergraduates Like”?

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

How about we just stick to ripping on the Bogans.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’ll weigh in,
I’m a fan. It was a bit of a ‘generational’ culture shock.
agreed some of it is a bit “first year”
but I find (broadly) it’s improved with age.
anything under the imprimateur of zapruders other films is half-way there for me. and what a bloke to do your apprenticeship with eh?
Any of these “first years” might go on to greater things.
Hungry Beast restored my faith in Gen Y.

we were all spoilt by the chaser perhaps?
(more esp CNNNN for self)

8 04 2010
Hamish

Bogans would prefer it if Aboriginal people didn’t attempt to integrate, and instead stayed out in the bush. Much easier if we can just ignore them.

8 04 2010
Simon of South Yarra

do you all recall the Andrew Denton show many moons ago when denton was sitting at the front of the audience holding a doll. Ernie appeared from stage left and raced across the stage snatching the doll on the way through.

Denton’s punchline A dingo stole my baby

classic

8 04 2010
Tone

For some reason, I’m thinking it might have been from The Big Gig. I’m not sure if it was Andrew Denton either … I have a vague recollection of it being part of a DAAS sketch. But I could be wrong. Either way, it was back when Ernie was still doing stand-up.

8 04 2010
The Boganator

Let me ask an open question of the forum:

I assume youse all know about the US original of your beloved website, Stuff White People Like. Things Bogans Like is Basically a ripoff/adaptation of that.

My question is: Which version is better, and why?

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Oranges and apples, Boganator.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I concur. But what would youse know?

8 04 2010
The Boganator

Oranges and apples? Youse have got to be kidding…

They are the same format, same style of humour, and both a target a certain segment of society. Surely there is pretty good ground for comparison there…

Don’t tell me you think I am ripping on your beloved blog for itself being derivative… I don’t even think that is necessarily a bad thing. If I was doing that I would say something like:
Things Self Righteous Twats Like:
#1: Ripping off other people’s websites

Of course we were aware of Stuff White People Like when we decided to start writing this blog. We chose a completely different target though, and have developed a narrative style that has little in common with SWPL. To be honest, I haven’t been to that website in months. Your original question is valid, but I guess it’s a subjective one. Michael Jayfox

8 04 2010
SD

Bogonator, it is oranges and apples. TBL’s tone is not gentle satire – it is far closer to stuff black people hate.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

The above acknowledged; TBL may be an homage, but it takes place in a different milieu. That for me puts it ahead. SWPL might have been an instigation but it’s more self deprecating.
It’s written by a white guy right?
we doubt not for a moment our superiority to the Bogue

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Weese aren’t kidding.

Oranges and apples are both fruits, you see? That makes them more similar, than say, oranges and snakes. That should address your same format etc. etc. point.

It is impossible to say that oranges are better than apples, or vice versa, as it is purely a matter of personal taste.

I enjoy TBL more, as it is more relevant to me geographically and culturally.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

damnit, I hate when I scream and run away when I see an orange!

8 04 2010
SD

Stuff White People mocks its own class, it’s quite different. Not sure you can call it the “original”.

8 04 2010
The Boganator

How do you know it is written by white people? Maybe it is, I don’t know…. but anyway, and on the subject of racism, why is it OK to be racist if you ‘mock your own class’?

And if youse can’t understand why racism is so bad, why is it OK to rip on bogans as a socio-economic group? Surely that is another kind of -ism, ripping on people cause of their association with anything seems as bad as anything else…

What if I started a blog: Things Asians Like:
1. Going to the casino
2. Paying for everything with a credit card
etc…?

Would that be racist? Why or why not? Would it be if I was Asian? What if I wasn’t? Why would that matter? Would you read it? What if it was funny?

Ask youseselves these questions messieurs et madames…. think about it, now!!!

Your, pushing the boundaries as ever,
The B-natorist

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Uh, because Christian Lander writes it, and he’s white. DUH!

8 04 2010
Shirley M

We’ve got a live one here. (Where have I stolen that from?)

We can understand why racism is so bad.

We’re not ripping on bogans as a socio-economic group.

There’s no such word as ‘youse’.

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “We’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

Well, I don’t. All mine are quite big enough.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Ah of course. To both your quote, and your statement of outrageous wealth.

8 04 2010
The Boganator

Here’s a recap on my beef thusfar:

1. Youse don’t like racism. See the comments above for evidence of that.

2. Youse like the blog Stuff White People Like. That is implicitly critical of a race of people, known as Whites (I prefer non-coloureds personally). Hence it is racist.

Thus youse are acting in a self contradictory manner.

And here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter if the person who writes it is whiter than bleached snow, ripping on a race is racist. Once a piece of art, media, whatever is released, its authorship is irrelevant. You have to take it simply as it stands, its background becomes unimportant. For example: If a black man got on national TV and said “All n**** are f***** and should be ******” that would be racist.

Boo-Yaa!!! Boganator 1: Rest 0

PS: Youse spend all day commenting on this blog… I am only a couple of comments into it, and already I have a TBL reply to my name. Top that, suckers!!!

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh my.
well one time on facebook I got a reply. to a post I made about mumford and sons.
yeah.
I like to call it the “burning bush”
but no one else thinks that’s funny.

look.
we seem to be all at cross purposes sir. surely we are of a common mind on the subject of race? there is no need to bicker over the semantics hmm?
there is a faint whiff of white pride in the air here.
another redundancy.
there will be many more years of positive discrimination before we can look on ourselves (whites, since you insist) with any sort of pride in regard to these issues.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby, give the boy his dummy back…please

8 04 2010
Will S

sup commonman?

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

‘sup Will.
I love your shit!

8 04 2010
Will S

that comment was aimed at the boganator for his incomprehensible rant, you just got in before me

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Black people call themselves and other black people niggers all the time.

Cherish your TBL reply, Boganator. Cherish it. It is an outstanding achievement.

P.S. YOUSE IS NOT A REAL WORD!

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirley M
As a contraction of” you is “it is found in most english speaking countries, uased as a plural. some places (i know not which) use it as a singular.
So it is common usage and that makes it a real word. Style wise it may not be great but realy only you and I and Fiona care.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

pfft!
where’s my usage and abusage…
in vulgate only.
ergo bogan by definition sir.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

When is it ever correct to say ‘you is’?

8 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

When mentioning the Frank Zappa song from 1981, “You Are What You Is”, of course.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

from Thing Fish!
oh my god I thought I was the only person on earth who had heard of that.
“A cow don’t make ham”

I aint no nignit no more…

oh and the mammy nuns and harryasaboy.
galoot colognuh.

gold

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Pull your head in Mr Hunter!

“Youse” is ridiculous. The form of “you” when talking to a group is, er, “you”.

Why use “youse” when you is fine? (unless you intentionally want to brand yourself a bogan)

By the way (if I recall correctly) “You” was originally just for plural – before the usage changed the singular was “thee”. Language evolves, but “youse” is too much of a bastardisation even for me.

Someone with a higher degree in the classics may be able to confirm this.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Benji, your are a dic.
All I have done is advise what is common usage in lots of english speaking places. That is fact and is not for discussion.
That ,as you and i see it, is that it is very bad style is a totally different matter.
Style is very subjective and that I may not like the colour of your shirt does not entitle me to say that it is not in fact a shirt at all !

8 04 2010
Shirley M

“As a contraction of” you is “it is found in most english speaking countries, uased as a plural. some places (i know not which) use it as a singular.”

On the contrary James Hunter, this is not even slightly fact, and is very open to discussion.

There is no contraction for ‘you is’. It is never necessary (unless you’re Frank Zappa) to say ‘you is’. Even if there were a contraction for this abomination of language, it would not be ‘youse’.

‘You’ is, by definition, both singular and plural. Benjamin was quite right.

Youse is not just bad style, it’s wrong. The only time it is permissible to say ‘youse’ is when you actually mean ‘ewes’.

Finally, just because people commonly say something, doesn’t make it a real word. ‘Youse’ is not in the dictionary, just like ‘arkse’ isn’t.

Here endeth the discussion.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Many of us care. Because it’s repulsive.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT.,
See my comment to Benji, I too think it is apawling style and would never use it myself. That does not alter the fact that in many places it is concidered normal.Tis a pity I know but us Aussies and the better educated poms and canadiens and kiwis are the tail on the english speaking worlds dog. it wags us not the other way round.
Similarly. Brazil is the worlds centre for Portugese. Try explaining that to someone from Lisbon and its the same thing.
Im sure Benji will get over it, eventually.!

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

dear god!
It’s like one of the little men from the village has had a few too many ales and wandered into the wrong glittering soiree.

9 04 2010
Tombarina

Agree, agree, agree!

Along with droppin’ the “g” and pronouncing the letter H as “haitch”.

It makes me a very sad panda.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi don’t worry, be happy.
It is not the substance of your wealth that annoyes the minows but the public discussion of it .
This rankles because the only antidote to being rich and/or famous is to absolutely filthy rich and or famous. Since this antidote is well out of reach within their projected lifetime they react with boganish slanging and gawping.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

she gave me sanctuary.
Sanctuary!!!

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

The (Jack Nicholson) Joker in Batman “Oh, I got a live one here!” according to IMDb!

Why do people like The Boganator always insist the TBL site is making fun of low socio-economic groups?
Although Fiona might be, articles and the rest of us do not.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

(insert “the” wherever it fits!) 🙂

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Why does everyone miss the point re: me? You are all in a lower socio-economic group than me…

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

We have missed nothing of the sort.
You claim to be of a certain wealth. This may or may not be true.
Certainly if you have been studying all of your “less than 30” years, you’ve just been born into it and not earned anything yet yourself.
Like Paris Hilton but with a degree in classics. haha 🙂
LOL

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. How dare you! I’m far more attractive than Paris Hilton.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I’d actually believe that. Not difficult. No offence.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Fiona’s avatar is more attractive.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

a fried turd would be more attractive than Paris Hilton.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’m sorry that was a little off colour.
I meant to say ‘poorly seasoned’ pan fried turd.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

AND Paris Hilton is not the tineyest bit Rubenesque !

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

snip snap!

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

No, we are not……trust me 🙂

I know a fraud when I see one.

8 04 2010
SD

Sadly, there seem to be at least 3 TBL posts in this:

1. whinge about white people being their worst enemies – being racist towards each other! Accompanied by what would you say if an Asian/Muslim/Alien did it!!!

2. Tossing in some French.

3. Signing off in a cool way which is really quite uncool.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the very notion of race is redundant.
is the point. meditate.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

authors and commentors iterate repeatedly, or reiterate, if you will, that bogue crosses all socio economic and racial boundaries.
please collect the full set before you attempt to continue.

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

race doesnt exist then ?

ineresting.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m with the fruit analogy.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

these posts are nowhere near where they should be.
do I need a wider screeeen?

8 04 2010
Benjamin

On a slightly related note – what’s with the “tHiS r ThEyZ” thingy at the top of the page now? It used to be “These are them” or some such.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Yeah, noticed that earlier, too. But I was too busy having a rant to mention it!

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

changes regularly.
have been enjoying watching it.

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Cool – I’ll keep my eye out.

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Really? I hadn’t noticed. Maybe I shouldn’t apply for a job with ASIO after all.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

they missed an apostrophe last week.

8 04 2010
T-ra

I was given the book ‘Stuff White People Like’ as a gift (I never read the blog) and I thought it was absolutely hilarious. It made me realise and embrace just how cliched my life is. When I first came across this website, my initial reaction was ‘hey this is just a rip off’…but I have since become a devoted daily reader. I am personally not a fan of blogs…and let’s face it most of them are just annoying rants by boring people. The perception and humour displayed by the writers of this blog, however, are just brilliant and it will keep me coming back day in / day out. While the ‘idea’ may not be new, the daily topics are insightful and in some cases enlightening. As someone who personally does not suffer deliberate ignorance and stupidity very well and has had to fight against it for much of my life (I come from a small bogan town, however, was thankfully raised by people who learned to tolerate and still love their ‘left wing commie, tree-hugging, gay loving snob of a daughter’ ), stumbling across this blog was like finding kin and many other people who are willing to say ‘I don’t agree and am sometime embarrassed by the way much of Australian society behaves’. So it is not a case of saying which version is better, as they are equally fantastic and I enjoy them both! How is that for a rant…and probably a sign I take the topics covered on this site a little too seriously! 😛

8 04 2010
Tone

If there was an Australian version of SWPL, it would be more in the vein of ‘Things Wankers Like’. I think we’ve touched on the concept of Things Wankers Like before (cycling, the ABC, living in the Inner City, ‘World Music’, organic shit etc etc etc).

8 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. In other words, it would be called “Things Wankers Like” and have exactly the same content as “Stuff White People Like”.

9 04 2010
The Boganator

Don’t call me a wanker.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

I’m a bit confused.
Genetically, I’m an Aryan Nation-fancier’s dream, I live inner-city and am a nut for the ABC (predominantly News Radio).
But I LURVE my steak and rugby, find the organo-fascists amusing and harbour very deep suspicions about cyclists. I’m certainly not friends with any, that I’m aware of, and crack the irrits when they take over my local coffee hole-in-the-wall with their bloody bikes.
Is there a blog for people who are white, but don’t meet the full wnkr criteria? Things Semi-Wnkrs Statistically Like Quite?

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

yes.
this is it.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Thought as much.

*sighs happily*

Aaaah – my people!

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

sorry about the mess.

and I’ll replace that other
thing.
umm… my wife handles the money

so…

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’m with you on the cyclists.
It seems these days one can’t just go for a ride.
Everyone seems to have to wear the full Lycra from head to toe.
Many times a rotund middle aged man has offended my sensibilities as he wobbles on his bike at the lights with the Lycra firmly rammed up his derriere.
What do they think, that if they wear this stuff they immediately gain a spot in the tour de france?

8 04 2010
Benjamin

I ride quite a lot (need the exercise), and I whole heartedly agree.To me, putting on the Lycra would make me a definite try-hard.

I’m a recreational rider, not a “cyclist”. What on earth is wrong with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt? It’s not like I’m going to miss out on a world record because I have a wee bit more drag. If anything, it improves the amount of exercise I get while doing it.

(Also recreational cyclists that buy high-end bikes – in the multi-thousand dollar range – bug the crap out of me).

I do know some people who are proper cyclists (competitive) and they can wear what they like as far as I’m concerned; they’ve earned it.

Like anything bogan, it’s why you do it that counts.

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Hoorah Benjamin!!
Thanks for clearing that up for me.
I was beginning to think it was compulsory.
: D

Things Bogans Like: Style over substance

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Thank you, Benjamin. I think it’s the excruciatingly high w@nk-factor of be-logoed lycra that does my head in.

That, and the veeeerrrrryyyyyy high degree of smugosity. I hear (and smell) them in the lifts in the morning in my office building: “Whoa, great little 753km warm-up….yeah….there’s a group of us riding over the Andes on Saturday….wooyeah…”

I just want to stab them in the head with a pencil.

8 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna ,
I know the look, more like he’s treying for the tour de Greece

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh James, that is just off!
:O

8 04 2010
j-ho

Thing Bogans like: Having a dig at anyone riding a bike, regardless if they are lycra wearing wankers or hipsters on a fixie. Welcome to the world of bogue, do you drive a Commodore?….

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

A statesman technically.
What was your point?
My problem is with Lycra, not bikes or just anyone riding them.
I thought I made this clear in my post.

8 04 2010
j-ho

Not really, you started ranting about ‘cyclists’ (no reference to only lycra wearing ones yet), and then stated ‘everyone’ seems to be wearing lycra. This is when the rant then veered into the middle aged weekend warrior rider angle… So yes I realised you have a problem with lycra (so do I, although I don’t feel the need to post about it), but it also came accross that you had an issue with all bike riders….

8 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh

9 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

… so you’re a CYCLIST!

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Hidey-ho, j-ho! (that was fun to say…)

I don’t know what a ‘fixie’ is, so I’m unable to argue the toss on that.

I salute exercise, and fully respect others’ right to participate and enjoy. And I have the right to drive my small, elderly non-Commodore to work without being cut off at every second intersection by some chartered accountant, decked out like a neon peacock and thinking he’s Lance Armstrong, yelling abuse at me.

8 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

A fixie is simply a fixed-gear bike.

8 04 2010
Tombarina

Oh. OK. Thank you.

This site is so educational!

Nite, kids.

9 04 2010
A-Bomb

A fixie is more than just a fixed gear bike.
It’s a device by which hipsters can show how hipster they are by riding a bike that has no brakes, tiny handlebars that look terribly uncontrollable and unsafe, and if they had a choice, their only head protection would be a homemade woolen scarf. Because they are required to wear a helmet, it is often an 80’s style Stackhat because it’s “ironic”.
I hate fixies because you can buy a decent 21 speed road bike for a few hundred dollars that is fast and maneuverable, but hipsters insist on these wanky things that have no place on busy streets.

Ranting will cease now.

9 04 2010
Tombarina

That’s a cracker of an explanation.

I asked one of the lycra-fancying spankers at work today what a fixie was, and he looked at me in a way best described as “high scorn”.

10 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

My mistake! They don’t have brakes as such, because the absence of a ratchet mechanism forces you to “brake” using the pedals.

8 04 2010
vix

Nice picture of Ernie and Cate Blanchett. It’s an oldie dating back to ’94, but she sure looks surprised in that shot – is it real or “acting”?

8 04 2010
Pandabater

Maybe Cate has been surprised by the fullness of Ernies……….
…….err…….”acting”

8 04 2010
Honest Matt

So Aboriginies can’t be bogans?
Once again the nuance that only white people can be bogans.
I’ve seen plenty all over Australia (including those in my family) that love their massive cans of Woodstock, Boost Juices and their ridiculous names for their children.

So for yesterday’s entry, you’d say “Ha! Lynx is a product for males! You’re therefore saying that women can’t be bogans!”
Each day we take a different snapshot of the bogan world. Today’s entry is about the view of non-aboriginal bogans on indigenous Australians. Of course there are bogan aboriginals, they’re inside the scope of 95% of our entries. TBL

8 04 2010
Benjamin

Of course they can, as you yourself have just described.

But yes, this particular entry does seem to single out the WASP bogue in particular. Most don’t.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m sure they can be.
The question is,
do they like Ernie Dingo?

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Hehehehehe

That’s funny.

8 04 2010
Will S

Would it be bogan for an aboriginal to put this sticker on their car:

8 04 2010
Shirley M

Hehehehe. That’s a cool sticker. I wish I could rightfully display one on my car.

Is it bogan? No. It’s ironic. I give it two thumbs up.

8 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I like it. It now appears on my Facebook page.
Because it’s clever, and will send bogans crazy!

9 04 2010
Laura

Iconic, I agree. Love it.

9 04 2010
Sibyl Ince

“Once again the nuance that only white people can be bogans”.

Ok I’m as confused as hell here. I actually thought that the bogan status came about BECAUSE white Australians were trying to BE aboriginals. By which I mean to have the wider/extended family structure (clanship(?)), to actually have something akin to a culture or heritage, some sort of back story and a spiritual link to the land, as most white Australians are sadly lacking in all these areas.

Ok, so they’ve ballsed up their attempt badly and created an abomination class, but so be it.

*Goes back to first blog entry and re-reads the lot*

15 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

So you are trying to claim white australians, unlike any other group on earth have no culture to speak of ?? Really ? Astounding…Anthropologically bullshit but astounding none the less.

8 04 2010
Pandabater

I have been trying to come up with a reasoned response to Boganators comments above but then I remebered some advise I had been given, don’t argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

8 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Great advice Pandabater.
I like little comments like that.
🙂

8 04 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter… Sorry to hear about it. Did you learn this campfire philosophy while working in the mines?

8 04 2010
James Hunter

no they just come to me when im on the metho

gives me all the insight of an undergrad

9 04 2010
Bam

I would give Ernie a cigarette if he asked.

9 04 2010
Peter

While you may not be an academic miner, James Hunter, that doesn’t exclude you from being a minor academic…

9 04 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
I have never had any desire to be an academic,minor major or miner.
Like all engineers I have worked for a living and as an engineer belong to that very small group of clever people capable of original thought
We make we invent we fix so that all the academics have a nice comfey world to live in.

9 04 2010
Laura

Bravo, TBL; you’ve nailed it yet again!

24 06 2010
bubbles

were is ernie dingo??

Yes. Ernie has experience in both past and present tenses. TBL

5 01 2011
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

Usman Khawaja is on track to earn a spot in the Ernie DIngo Hall of Fame.

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