#117 – Pandora Bracelets

31 03 2010

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman, whom each God helped create by giving a unique gift. Unaware of this, millennia later, the female bogan strives to match her uniqueness, constantly on the hunt for new ways to express her individuality… of course it could never do anything that would make it stand out too much from the crowd…

Enter Pandora. Launched in Denmark in 1982 by some clever Danish guy, Pandora jewellery appeals to the female bogan’s love of shiny things, addictive consumption habits and ongoing quest for homogenous distinctiveness. For the uninitiated, Pandora sells relatively simple, affordable bracelets, which are fitted with ‘charms,’ little hoopy things coming in various shapes, sizes and materials.

The Pandora bracelet is perfect for the modern female bogan. Everyone has one, but they’re all ‘totally unique’ and representative of the bogan’s deepest inner desires. Like getting another lamewad charm. Even better, it is now associated with the bogan’s FAVOURITE FILM EVER, Avatar. A non-bogan understands subtlety and restraint, but the female bogan will always take things to the x-treme. It purchases charm after charm for its bracelet, adding a new one any time its credit card is accepted. The gold bracelet ($1700) is too expensive, so a silver one ($90) is selected.

A silver heart to show its passion, a silver Aquarius because of its love of horoscopes, a flower, a lucky horse shoe, a little froggy, a crucifix, a Buddha, an owl, a letter M, an angel, a baby pram, a teddy, a special gold heart, a high heel shoe, a “best friends”, another flower, another flower, another flower, a swirly thing, a puzzle piece, a peace sign, a car, and a round thing with a dangly ball. The femme-bogue’s quest is aided by her friends, family and other half, with Pandora charms a convenient, affordable ($30+) and relatively thoughtless gift for her birthday, 21st birthday or anniversary.

A year later, the female bogan pauses to view the purchased DNA that is no longer in fashion, blissfully oblivious to the fact that the tacky piece of jewellery dangling from her wrist cost approximately $1900 to assemble. But every bogan agrees that this is a smaller price to pay than not being x-tremely unique and glamorous.


Actions

Information

690 responses

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Pandora? A type of jewellery? Never heard of it. Clearly not sold at Tiffany!

31 03 2010
caracal1788

Oh dear. Even Tiffany is bogan these days.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Maybe in the displays you have to shop in.

31 03 2010
weshead

More like fake tin covered Thai Tiffany rip-offs are Bogan. They “seened it” on tele and won’t fork out for a real one, unless everyone chips in a bit, and they rustle up $700 for a plate on basic chain.

31 03 2010
weshead

I guess that I’m just pissed that I went looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend, and well, Tiffany’s is one place that’s off the affordable list. However, I just got a email saying it’s $230 to fly to PhUKEt, might try to save me a bit of dosh. She’ll never know. Dumb Bitch.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Tiffany is definitely bogan. Incredibly overpriced mass produced shiny crap. The only time the bogan will ever be kind and appreciative to a security guard is when they enter a Tiffany’s store. Or a Louis Vuitton, for that matter.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Jealousy’s a curse folks, jealousy’s a curse. 🙂

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Just like ignorance is bliss.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’ll have to take your word for it.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Fiona,
bogans maybe think ignorance is power

31 03 2010
Nick

HAHAHA! Ignorance Is Power… !!! I want to produce that on a T-Shirt / Bumper Sticker… I’ll make millions. It could be the next ‘justify your existance’

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s “existence”. Your not smart enough to produce a t-shirt. Stick to wearing them.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I believe he was making reference to that idiot footballer who had the phrase tattooed on his chest, complete with the misspelling.

31 03 2010
Will S

*You’re…

31 03 2010
claire

*You’re

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Shirley you’re not serious…

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I stand, humbly I might add, corrected.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Very. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Unfortunately I have no interest in football, so I can’t remember his name or even which code he subscribed to.

31 03 2010
MissEventide

You’re*

31 03 2010
Rana

*You’re*

I think he was referring to the footy ape who got the misspelt tattoo..

31 03 2010
Kate

Sorry Ms Fiona, but it’s “you’re”…

31 03 2010
Um

“Your’e”. And “its” is a pronoun so it doesn’t get an apostrophe. Your upper class pretensions are starting to wear thin, my dear.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Uh oh, Fiona. You know I can’t let you get away with that – correcting someone’s spelling only to make the more offensive “your/you’re” mistake…

He should get a job at Cotton On, Supre or Ed Hardy, BTW.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Uh oh, Fiona!
You know I can’t let you get away with that – correcting someone’s spelling and then making the more offensive “your”/”you’re” mistake…

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Hahaha! These threads go so wonky sometimes. I didn’t see the others (or I must have wanted to repeat everyone else)…!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Good Lord people, I’ve already donned the hair shirt over this – scroll up! I shan’t do it again.

31 03 2010
Sir Danksalot

*you’re obviously not smart enough either Fiona

31 03 2010
devil's advocate

Should that be “you’re not smart enough…”

Stones, glass houses, etc.

31 03 2010
clairebbbear

* you’re

31 03 2010
James

So shall ye sow…

31 03 2010
Nick

Actually you’re (and that’s you’re with an apostrophe, as in YOU ARE, as in YOU ARE an idiot) wrong. When marketing to bogans, the correct spelling is existance. 🙂
http://www.news.com.au/national/penrith-panther-jarrod-sammut-gets-tattoo-with-wrong-spelling/story-e6frfkvr-1225831346547

31 03 2010
Maerklin

LOL
Neither are you!

It’s you’re not “Your”

And yes it’s Maerklin!

31 03 2010
Stapler

I’m sure you meant to say “you’re not smart enough…”

31 03 2010
David

Yes, it is indeed ‘existence’. However, if you wish to seriously argue that adeptness at spelling is a barometer of intelligence, “you’re” digging a hole for yourself.

31 03 2010
Andrea

Should that perhaps be “You’re” instead of “Your”?

1 04 2010
Emma-Louise

The sentence fragment “Your not smart enough” will have me chuckling internally for days,

1 04 2010
Shinydonkey

LOL. And you are? As in – “you’re”?

6 04 2010
Laura

*You’re 😉

13 04 2010
GrammarMan

It’s “you’re” not “your”…

1 05 2010
Tim

You’re*

13 05 2010
Melco

LOL. “You’re” not smart enough, Fiona of Toorak!

17 05 2010
Amy

It’s you’re, not your, honey.

19 05 2010
Jussry

…Coming from the person who corrects spelling then says ‘Your not smart enough’…

19 05 2010
Dan

And it’s also “you’re”, as in you are…

19 05 2010
Brett

And “you’re” not smart enough to argue about spelling… or probably jewellry.

23 05 2010
Sarah

It’s YOU’RE. Not your.

You spell like you went to private school.

23 05 2010
Shirley M

By my count, that’s 26 readers of TBL who know the difference between your and you’re. Bravo everybody! Your parents and teachers would all be proud.

23 05 2010
AlyssaKT

Ha, true, Shirley. The wonkiness of this post makes no one realise until after they’ve said it that it’s been said before though. It’ll go on forever!

31 03 2010
Andy

Ignorance Is Power? It sounds like something out of Nineteen Eighty-Four.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Au contraire, Madamemoiselle. This cliche has never rung more true since I have made your ‘acquaintance’. It seems to be something you are quite proud of.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I hardly think having a higher degree in the Classics classifies me as ignorant!

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I never implied you are ignorant of the teachings of the Classics.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Armed with that knowledge, how could I be ignorant of anything!

31 03 2010
Shirley M

May I humbly suggest you apply socratic method to this statement.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Done. The answer? I am not.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Ahh Fiona. Your arrogance is by far your most cultivated and becoming feature. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Thank you. I resemble that remark. 😉

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Well Fi,
you are ignorant, of ignorance.!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Indeed. The mind, even one as great as mine, boggles.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Fiona is more and more bogue that she would like admit. On the weekend i was walking down collins and there were two different wedding parties taking photos outside the tiffany store. One wedding party was awaiting it’s turn.

The femme bogue was decked out in all her splendid looking nice and orange while the bloke..well he looked oh so cool with thier sunnies on. Both were very similar in attire and one wedding group were drinking crownies..on a very public street.

I walked past hand on forehead whilst nodding in embarrasment. Bogues have no shame at all.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s not bogan if you can go inside – and be welcomed.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

It is. It simply means that you have enough money for them to be interested by you.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. My point exactly.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Bogans with money shall be granted entrance.

31 03 2010
caracal1788

And money and class don’t try to go in, not any more.

31 03 2010
Sir Danksalot

*you’re

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Yep. I knew Tiffany had crossed the Rubicon the day I heard a colleague banging on about she’d named her odious pregnant teenage daughter Tiffany because it was “helegant”.

On that note, I can also attest to a very wealthy family who would have conniptions at the notion of being bogue-associated, who called their daughter Cartier.

Must dash – I can hear little Ikea waking up, and Aldi and Westfield are due for their Ritalin.

31 03 2010
Nick

That post is genius!

31 03 2010
Nelson Esq

Rubicon is a nice name for a girl too…

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

hahahahahahahah!
hysterical!
Must dash also, taking Steven for a walk.
Vet says he needs the exercise.

31 03 2010
Nick

Yeah I’d never heard of it either till my mother in-law spotted an ‘imitation’ Pandora at a market one time and nearly lost her mind with excitement. I instantly thought of this website.

31 03 2010
caracal1788

Yep, my four year old has a $5 fake. Nearly as nice as the real thing. Then again, she also favours plastic beads, but she’s got a few years to be educated.

5 04 2010
??

careful fiona, tiffany is the bogans choice for jewellery. you must be thinking of van cleef and arples or harry winston

23 05 2010
TheMon

I find this item to be very popular, especially in country Victoria. An ex once informed me that all the women in his family owned a Pandora bracelet, even the very young girls. It is indeed a very special bogan
status symbol. For example: ‘He bought me a Pandora bracelet! A gold one!! Eeeeeek!’ This is shrieked with much pride and Shazza feels a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

A gold one is especially impressive and also a fine and extravagant way to express everlasting bogan passion. This is the measure of true bogan love.
Thus, every red blooded bogan country (or city) male knows the way to a woman’s heart and into her very soul is via the Pandora bracelet. I no longer spend time with above mentioned ex. The thought of receiving a Pandora bracelet for Christmas made my stomach churn.

31 03 2010
Wayne Kerr

WTF?
I had thought I was fairly bogan, but I’ve never heard of most of this shit. I must be some sort of intellectual. Either that or I’m just getting old.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Everytime I see one of these pig-ugly personalised monstrosities, I’m reminded of those lolly bracelets you could buy years ago – little discs of candy on a mangy elastic string.

Just as attractive, and at least you could eat them.

31 03 2010
James

They still exist – my daughter brought some home from a birthday party a few weekends ago. And they still taste like compressed dust and sugar.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Thanks James – I’ll keep an eye out.

I’m pretty sure that if I stick glittery crap to every third lolly and scrawl Nikko on a couple of others, I could pass it off as a fugly Pandora number.

Then I can sell them at the markets…

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

mmmmm….. edible and covered in glitter

Bogan heaven!!

31 03 2010
Tombarina

You in, Edna?
They’re the perfect accessory to our line of BOGUE Bedazzled t-shirts.

And if we branch out into even more expensive baby clothes, we’ll have the orange folk stitched up from cradle to grave!

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Do you watch Runway?
Michael Kors: “short, tight & shiny – slutty, slutty, slutty”
we have the magic formula & the equipment (bedazzler) and now a marketing plan.
we’ll be rich.
I’m going to buy a yacht,
and get my tits done!

😀

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

woohoo!

31 03 2010
pb

fantastic idea. may i suggest a name for you? inspired by the use of pandora (and, mentioned further down, pastiche) as brand names, what about gauche – pronounced gow-chay, of course. i only ask for a very small cut of the profits in return.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Sensational, PB.

gauche (all lower-case, faux-elegant font) could be BOGUE’s diffusion line. That way, we can flog cheap blingy crap at two different, yet equally ludicrous, price points and markets. Market segmentation, people…

I’m getting TWO yachts! And perhaps some spare boobs.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Brilliant!
We could have:

BOGUEgauche
BOGUEpaste
….and for the men
impotentBogue

’cause he likes to feel important.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Also our cougar demographic will be targetted with

BOGUEpassé
coming this autumn

31 03 2010
Simon

For the kiddies?

LiLBogue

31 03 2010
vivisection

For the Maternity wear:
BogueCarcass

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

That would be pronounced
Car-Ka-Say
😀

31 03 2010
vivisection

or Car-Sass?

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

BOGUEfracas
or
BOGUEmelee
or
This one I discovered by accident:

BOGUEbigue

1 04 2010
vivisection

oooh I ike BOGUEbigue – plus size for the bigue boned boguette.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

sounds like a bogette

31 03 2010
Tombarina

As Edna points out – shiny AND sugary. Can’t lose!

31 03 2010
James

I know it is a joke, but the undercurrent of truth here scares me a little.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Couldn’t you have posted this same comment on pretty much EVERY OTHER POST TBL’s made?

31 03 2010
James

Perhaps, but this one has filled me a peculiar dread. I don’t know why, but the idea that a (so-called) human being would actually think that a bracelet (or anything purchased, for that matter) can somehow capture their inner self scares the shit out of me.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Oh James, isn’t that the very CORE idea of marketing? That somehow, what you’re buying both represents and is representative of… YOU!

I know you only have a PhD in International Studies, but surely this is self-evidently true to even one as poorly educated as yourself?

31 03 2010
Simon

Correct Fi, Bogans tattoo for the same reason, an outer manifestation of their inner self.

31 03 2010
James

I am vaguely aware that that is what marketing is all about. What scares me is that people are stupid enough to believe it. That goes just as much for Tiffany as it does for Pandora…

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. But of course, Tiffany screams wealth, culture and sophistication, so that’s OK. 🙂

Out of interest, what sort of car do you drive? I’m guessing Volvo or Subaru…

31 03 2010
James

Or at least their marketers tell you it screams those things.

And to satisfy your interest, I do not drive a car at all. Cars are for suburbanites.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The point being, if people believe it, it’s TRUE – well, true in the sense that matters. ;-p

Ah, a bicycle. My bad, I really should have guessed…

31 03 2010
James

Not often – I prefer my motorbike. But I will keep the details of that to myself, so as to avoid being knocked off by a chauffeur with Victorian plates…

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. A wise move… 😉

31 03 2010
Somewhat Bogan

LOL!! “driver run down two wheeled bogue”

Details please

31 03 2010
Simon

Yep Fi, Camry driver, they are not cars!

31 03 2010
Stapler

Last I heard the Camry is actually a car. Oliver Sacks wrote a book, “The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat”. Pick up a copy and have a flick through. Not that i’m advocating self-diagnosis.

3 04 2010
Simon

Stapler, I meant in the same way Mariah Carey is not music.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Of those three, Tiffany screams only wealth I’m afraid.

Many a rich Bogan celebrity wears Tiffany. And they are the set of Tiffany wearers that are the most visible.

So you can now add “screams rich vacuous Bogan celebrity” to your list. And delete culture and sophistication.

Sorry Fiona, the things you like are no less corruptible than the things lesser folk like.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

surely one has one’s jewellery hand made by a daaarling little old man in Zurich.

(still can’t do an umlaut)
and umlaut has an umlaut.
doesn’t it?

31 03 2010
euro goth bogue

in the german language we spell umlauts by adding an e after the vowel if we dont have the umlaut on the keyboard.therefore wed spell it as Zuerich.

and no,umlaut doesnt have an umlaut in it

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

well… Thank You Very Much.
I am edified. A neat trick indeed! I am now 6% poncier!

(ps I think you will find the correct pronunciation is “ze” german language).

In ze german language.

😀

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh chubby that is hysterical!

you are so wasted here.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Or type Zurich into Google and copy and paste resulting Zürich…

31 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Using Ubuntu, I have an icon for the character map. Just copy ü, é or whatever from there, then paste, and *violà*!

31 03 2010
Sten

Screams, Fiona? Oh my, I thought you more restrained and sophisticated than that.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Fine – is “aurally voluble”. Happier?

31 03 2010
Sten

You don’t address my original point, Fiona, but gratuitous displays of appropriate vocabulary always cheer me up on a dreary Wednesday morning.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Then apply for a position working for our esteemed Prime Minister.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

sh*t is it wednesday?

31 03 2010
pb

surely something so supposedly cultured and classy doesn’t need to indulge in anything as gauche as announcing itself in any way.

31 03 2010
pb

(that reply is supposed to be to fi and the tiffany discussion)

31 03 2010
James Hunter

aurally distressing ?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

this is where it all started to fall apart.

People! We should brace this!
shore it up or something.
…I think it’s gonna collapse
…here

5 04 2010
oobydooby

Fuck’s sake, must you preface every post with
lol? Moron.

19 05 2010
Brett

How is Tiffany culture and sophistication? Its generic. Some of it might be timeless, but its 5 designs over and over, so everyone has the same. Isn’t this the ultimate bogan expression? To have something that says wealth, without actually getting something too different from your cashed up bogan friends? I showed my girlfriend the Tiffany rings, but she wasn’t interested, she has too much class and a firm idea of her ideal ring, which is unique and beautiful. If you want class, sophistication and wealth you go Cerrone.

19 05 2010
AlyssaKT

Brett, presumably you mean custom-made Cerrone? If not, I’m unsure of what you mean; I just took a look online and their engagement rings look pretty generic also…
They just don’t have a movie (and a song) about them 😉

31 03 2010
James Hunter

he has

31 03 2010
Sten

If you’re referring to my estemed self, Fiona and James, I can happily tell you I would rather endure perpetual root canal therapy than get myself involved in parliamentary politics. The thought of me doing so make me shudder.

While I was happy to see him hand John Howard the drubbing he so richly deserved, I soon saw him for what he was… an overpaid, beige blowhard.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Able to, however, overflow your aural detecting devices with prose of the most purple variety.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
leave the shuddering to Fi. She does it so much better then you could

31 03 2010
Princeakeem

Tiffany is the epitome of all bogan desires. Very much an aspirational brand for bogues. Very contrived brand reference!….

31 03 2010
vivisection

Remember on America’s Next Supermodel where the hopeful bimbo claimed that “Lunch at Tiffany’s” was her favourite film. Gold.

6 04 2010
Carlos the Jackal

Tiffany is in the same category as Rolex, where the only thing worse than a fake Rolex/Tiffany is the real thing…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Nice work. TBL

well, I got nothin’

…chicks!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

except maybe Coco Chanel.

is it “Once you have put everything on, take one thing off.”?

take off that tacky effing bracelet.

31 03 2010
BB

:))))

re “Coco Chanel: “Once you have put everything on, take one thing off.”?

take off that tacky effing bracelet.”

31 03 2010
Muz

Genius!

Judging by the number of posts relating to a neighbour of mine I am sure TBL is either camped outside of her house or has bugged it somehow.

Can we have a DFO post please? These outlet stores allow Nouveau Bogues the cachet of name brand items at K-Mart prices. (Nevermind the fashion has passed by 2 years ago or the item is a hideous version of a previously best selling one. )

31 03 2010
Tubesteak

Brilliant. Everyone is ‘unique’.

Had an ex-girlfriend that was into these things and of course I was sucked into buying these useless trinkets. Only bought 2 before she became an ex.

That was a learning experience. At least I’m smart enough to have avoided the countless women that buy LVMH product knock-offs (or the overpriced real deal)

31 03 2010
Dean

requesting an article on havaianas

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What are they?

31 03 2010
Dean

overpriced things that are the same as cheap thongs, or perhaps ‘flip flops’ for you?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Ah. Well, I don’t wear flip-flops of course.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Yeah, they aren’t even double pluggers

31 03 2010
euro goth bogue

*climbs out of the gutter again*

could u be so kind to explain to me the meaning of a double plugger?

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Thongs engineered to not “blow out” by having double plugs attaching the top to the sole…

31 03 2010
Jo

I don’t think Fiona would consider $19 “over-priced”

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. $19???? Who would quibble over that paltry a sum for anything?

31 03 2010
vivisection

A Bogue onteh Grand Tour (Bali then Bangkok and on to Phuket) wouldn’t pay more than $2 and would spend half of their holiday haggling over thongs at that price.

31 03 2010
Simon

Look out, Darwin goes Formal.

A DARWIN “boutique” restaurant is charging patrons $10 for wearing thongs while they dine.

The “thongage” charge is announced in a sign on the door of John Spellman’s Tramontana restaurant on McMinn St.

Last night, Mr Spellman said the “campaign” was setting the tone for his “boutique” restaurant.

“It’s a formal restaurant – tablecloths, napkins. I wear shoes and socks,” he said.

Mr Spellman’s notoriety grew early this year when he gave a group of diners $10 and told them to go do McDonald’s. They had complained about the service and wanted to split their drinks bill.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

I can die a happy woman. That’s the most magnificent thing I’ve ever read!

Thank you, Simon. Just….thank you.

31 03 2010
Simon

Thats my pleasure.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

pure class!
$100 thongage

also $1000 Tight White Pantage.
and 50c Fuck Off And Put Some Clothes On-age.

31 03 2010
31 03 2010
Dean

yep, granted.
will you accept ‘annoyingly ubiquitous’ as justification?

31 03 2010
Jason

“…homogenous distinctiveness.”

Congratulations, TBL. I didn’t think you could have put the essence of the modern bogan so succinctly into just two words, but you have proved me wrong. Well done!

PS I may steal this…hope you don’t mind?

31 03 2010
loftie

Just remember… you’re unique – just like everybody else…

31 03 2010
Simon

But I want to be different just like everyone else!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *raises perfectly manicured hand* Er, I’m not…

31 03 2010
Simon

We know snowflake.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. With apologies to Monty Python.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

We got it, Fiona.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

or little petal

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. That works. As does “delicate flower”.

31 03 2010
Sammie

Fiona, was that perfectly manicured hand in fact manicured by a 15 year old Vietnamese slave worker at your local “Hollywood Nails”?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

“we are all unique
but some of us are more unique than others.”

george orwell – bogan farm

31 03 2010
Simon

See you did have something Chubby.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

yeah I always got something Si.

you should try *living* in this skull.

totally off meds.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

“it’s a fucking joke right?”
Wayne Gale. Natural Born Killers.

31 03 2010
BB

I bought that as a lapel button a year or two ago – couldn’t resist !

31 03 2010
BB

I’ve been wondering just recently when this was going to appear on this site !

31 03 2010
Francesca

Reminds me of those chunky locket bracelets that all my friends “had to have” for their 21st birthdays in the early 90’s. They haven’t been seen now for years. What a waste….

31 03 2010
Shirley M

The pandora bracelet is the grown up version of the friendship pins little tackers make in primary school, except not as pretty.

31 03 2010
Michael

I think among teen-bogans, there are usually two bracelets. One for best friends to buy trinkets, and one for whatever current boyfriend to buy trinkets. Which kind of works out well, friends can just buy new little shiny things for each other at birthdays and christmas, and boyfriends can buy them for weekly anniversaries.

31 03 2010
djm

I saw one of these advertised the other day while visiting a cheap jeweller to have my watch repaired. The brand name was “pastiche”, presented presumably without irony.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

gold!
the whole exterior and interior life of the bogue is a pastiche.
go the next step just call it paste. but say it sorta frenchy – PahStay.
Get Gigabucks for Zircons.
…and I think Alanais Morriset defined ironic for them.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Are you “common man”?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

for the second time woman,
I most certainly Am Not.

6 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

‘for the second time woman,’

Do some research. Fiona of Toorak is most definitely not a woman.

This is what makes all this commenting between him/her and his/her little troupe of sycophants hilarious/pathetic.

He must be laughing his arse off.

FOF!

31 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

I confess to having two 18ct gold charm bracelets in progress for two under 5 year old girls I know. I add a charm for them each birthday and christmas and they’ll each receive theirs when they turn 16. Am I a bogan?

The ones I have don’t look like the monstrosity pictured – that seems to be for someone who can’t afford a charm bracelet.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Speaking of Pandora(‘s box), dare I open it by suggesting we haven’t seen much of “common man” around lately?

31 03 2010
Tombarina

I noted this just the other day.

Oh, how I miss his ill-conceived, poorly-articulated and mis-punctuated burblings….

31 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

Let me fi;x that f;or you;

I;lll do my; be;st

31 03 2010
Tombarina

sible,,u didn’trun woords together yudid nt ‘ frothh& abuze Ppl hwever nicetry:

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Also, the content WAS decipherable…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

to a cryptographer…

seriously. I have read (as mentioned prev.) Trainspotting and Clockwork Orange, both written in heavy patois and got through and thoroughly enjoyed it (except for all my thoughts being in heavy scottish brogue for a week) so I’m not being a grammar nazi on this. but txt speak or whatever it is…
…strings of consciousness.
I cannot fathom how they are communicating effectively.

baffling.

one of the first signs of my descent into senility
number two is that almost all of their music is dross and drivel.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You are the closest thing we have to James Joyce or William Faulkner here – and I mean that in the least nicest possible way.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

taken in the same spirit.

1 04 2010
common man

sorry but fi left me in the pram at tiffanys an ran off but no doubt like madonna she,ll buy another..oh wait lol!!james hunter your too old

31 03 2010
Sten

He’s been conspicuous in his absence. I miss trying to decipher his (presumably his, anyway) incoherent rantings.

But not that much.

31 03 2010
vivisection

Translating common man could be the new nintendo brain training game. Given that most bogans could probably understand him with ease would ensure its success.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

praise the lord ,praise the lord.

31 03 2010
Robbie

He’s been shopping for a ‘Charm’ bracelet at Goldmark in his very best Ed Hardy tank-top

31 03 2010
Chairman Miaow

Hmm, my daughter (16) toyed with the idea of one of these for her birthday present… I simply raised an eyebrow and at a later visit to the Burwood Westiefield, pointed out the young lasses wearing such things.

God save us, there were plenty of them, drooling Hungry Jacks juice down their multi-chins and daughter, smart kid, decided on financial assistance for her school trip later in the year.

It’s all just smart marketing (I work in the biz and bow to the excellence of the idea). Be unique, buy at chain stores, yeah…

31 03 2010
Dean

I suspect at least one author of TBL works in advertising

31 03 2010
Chairman Miaow

I agree. The bogue is actually a perfect advertising target; relatively easily led, homogeneous in it’s thinking and susceptible to appeals to it’s massive insecurities.

31 03 2010
Dean

yeah now imagine that you are a non-bogue and you are forced to sell stupid products to morons every day.
‘how exactly can we make this sugary lemon drink appear manly?’

Crush the can and kick it around! get Harry Kewell and the the socceroos involved! IT’S A MANLY SUGARY DRINK!

31 03 2010
Tombarina

“Soccer” and “manly” in the same sentence. That’s funny.

31 03 2010
SD

Jokes on soccer and poofters – I thought that was a TBL post of it’s own….

31 03 2010
toony

Should be. Homophobia and ignorance are two common traits amongst bogues…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

ok.
Soccer. by ChubbyBloodfart.
I actually kept one of those cans as a souvenir.
Wait. let me go get it.
ok
here it is.
LIMITED EDITION
SOLO
lemon lime.
Hyundai A League OFFICIAL THIRST CRUSHER.

a saucy little invitation to “GAME ON” on the front there.
not sure what that means yet.

rotating the can…
ah.
here we are.
SOLO
CAN FOOTBALL

CRUSH IT

TO
KICK IT
GAME ON

this will be that game they mentioned on the front.

ok. firstly, this is seriously dangerous. trying to crush this can without first drinking it could result in a nasty turned ankle. and if the can ruptures, there’s the distinct likelihood someones gonna get an eye full of fizzy stuff. probably a kiddie.
so…
That aside, Soccer is an incredibly simple game (I’ll come back to that point) and yet (and this is my point) proponents of this alleged sport need instructions on preparing an aluminium can to play it. Even though they have seen it demonstrated on the Ad. This displays the lack of wit and creativity that is the very hallmark of The Bogue. Marketing genii being what they are the intended footprint for this sugary lemon drink is BOGANS.
specious what?
Now I cop a lot of flak for being a rugby league fan, but let me give youse a quick potted history of football. As I know it. So it’s in england and some warriors are kicking around a Head of The Vanquished and it all gets a bit spirited. Rolling forward a few hundred years or whatever and we’re all civilised now and the head of the vanquished has been replaced by a ball roughly the same shape and size of a head of the vanquished. After another hundred years or so, at a school in england called Rugby someone got sick of all this nancying around, picked up the ball, pushed everyone out of the way and stuck it in the net. That is the origon of the Game they play in Heaven. Rugby (union to you lot).
Rugby has since evolved over time into the highest evolution of football. Containing the sacred tautology of only promoting the ball by passing it backwards. Testing men to the limit of endurance without resorting to violence. Just. Utilising a ball which is wont to move unpredictably and with a rule book more arcane than holy orders. Rugby league is rugby streamlined for television. American football is an absurd overgoverned 3 second violence fest which does NOT contain the sacred tautology.
Australian Rules Football is a contest of grace and athleticism over a piece of real estate four times the size of a soccer pitch. All are more sophisticated than soccer. Flat Pitch, Round Ball, put it in the net. Consequently we frequently get no result. It’s too easy. Everyone is genius at it. The athleticism demanded by a soccerka pales beside the rugby practitioner. Ping Pong is a more sophisticated game. Simply contrast the game of field hockey. Virtually identical rules but the head of the vanquished sized ball has been replaced with a much smaller ball and you now have to manipulate it with a bent stick. I’ll give you game on sir! Now it is a contest with scores reaching double digits on occasion. By contrast the soccer hooligan (bogan I say *snigger*) is compelled to riot by the tedious and unsatisfying spectacle he has been enforced to endure (apparently standing ankle deep in a collective urinal I am told). Soccer is immensely popular with children and so it should be! but this is no spectacle for adult entertainment. Proponents may cite it’s popularity but I shall reply that Mister MacDonald has sold a lot of hamburgers but that attests not to the quality of his fare Sir! Quite the reverse methinks! But I digress. One curiosity is that the popularity of this sport among the nations bears an inverse relationship to the sophistication of that Nation. For example soccer perhaps has it’s most fanatical proponents in some of the less developed economies and less sophisticated cultures of south america, north africa and the united kingdom.

where was I?

31 03 2010
Simon

*Nods head slowly in appreciation and wonder*

Pfffht- opps sorry bloody dog.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Chub! How impassioned! If only I could help….but I got nuffink.

Except to trot out the (highly debatable) old adage: “League is a gentlemen’s game played by thugs; union is a thug’s game played by gentlemen.” (As anyone who has ever seen the Gatton Uni Bush Pigs at an after-match function would attest.)

And sophisticated, too – that’s why we have teams like the Roma Echidnas: “More than just a bunch of pricks!”.

Viva le rugby.

2 04 2010
Sam

Replace League with Football (soccer) and Union with Rugby and you’ve got it right.

League was invented by lower class English workers as Rugby was only played by the Public School Boys and Old Boys. This tradition lives on strongly in Australia today.

2 04 2010
Tombarina

Sam, I graciously stand corrected.

Chubby (scroll up a bit) gave a beaut potted history of the games’ evolutions.

And you’re 100pc correct re the state of play in Australian schools today. The private (particularly GPS) schools refer to league as “tunnelball”.

31 03 2010
brad

CBF its like you stole my rant on soccer(and i’ve had many) McDonalds is the most widely consumed fare worldwide as is soccer played-you is a sage,however the fine game of Union has no show against the strategic thinking,athleticism and endurance that is required too play footy(AFL). 360 periphial ,you never hear those footsteps-Western Sydney is a farce though.

3 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Just realised I never finished this.
What’s that sighing noise?
Whatever. (It was just a troll anyway)
Soccer is bogan.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

this is also how to run an effective democracy.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

One author has already admitted to a masters in Marketing.

31 03 2010
Dean

ahhh, smug mode

31 03 2010
Tombarina

You say “smug” like it’s a bad thing.

31 03 2010
Dean

no way i was claiming smug for guessing the advertising/marketing experience. mind you it wasn’t particularly difficult. but well these days you gotta take what you get

31 03 2010
Peter of Kensington

“I simply raised an eyebrow and at a later visit to the Burwood Westiefield, pointed out the young lasses wearing such things.”

As feared, you people are now passing on your ingorance and intolerance to your kids. Great.

31 03 2010
Simon

Peter, great to see you remain

You.

31 03 2010
Jo

what other point is there to breeding? other than creating minions to carry on your intolerance and ignorance…I really don’t see what other value children could possibly have.

31 03 2010
Sam

baby bonus?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

You forgot to mention the saddest part of this tale, TBL. Once the femme bogue realises that none of her peers are still wearing their unique bracelets, she will take it off, place it in her glory box until her daughter’s 16th birthday, when it will reappear in the form of a family heirloom.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Surely not? When I think of the heirlooms that fill my ancestral manse I can’t quite fathom opening a jewellery box and finding something hideous from Pandora in there!

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Mark my words, it will be the cameo of the future.

Not for you, of course.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Nor any of my heirs, entailed though they may be.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

your not THAT close to the apes ,surely?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I see you’re mistaking the use of the term “entailed”. If it was deliberate, I can (almost) see the wit, but you’re thinking of monkeys, not apes.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Fi, True, could try taking your ape to a local retailer ?
If you do not deal with retailers then one of your domestics would know where to go. They most likely are familiar with the local spirit retailers ?No that’s not the Caflic church.

31 03 2010
Simon

Those tails are tricky to hide in jodhpers.

31 03 2010
James

Your heirs? May I remind you of a certain post where you floated the idea that “children in and of themselves are bogan”?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. May I direct you to a dictionary to look up “entail”? Once again James, you have been trumped by my higher degree in the Classics.

31 03 2010
James

I am deeply shamed. I have committed the terrible offense of replying before reading your complete post. So in this case, your “education” has trumped my laziness, I am afraid. Your (comparatively) lesser degree played no role.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *passes you the hair shirt* No, the fact you did not know what “entails” meant is a testament to your (comparative) lack of education, not your laziness.

31 03 2010
James

Either way, this hair shirt is mine to wear… for now.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Enjoy in good health. I shan’t be needing it again… 😉

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Worse still you could open a box and find Pandora in there

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I would like to see a charm of a “forehead slap” figure

31 03 2010
James Hunter

The true value of these Pandora junkpieces can be acertained by checking Ebay. One can buy the assorted trinkets by the trray of fifty pieces for about $12.50 plus $30.00 Postage ex china.
Now that’s a laf If we could publicise that there would be bogettes dying with legs in air all over

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And you know this how…???

31 03 2010
Dean

publicise it? how about set up a stall in the Chadstone carpark?

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Already onto it, Dean (see earlier post).

If you try to undercut me, I’ll glass you…

31 03 2010
James Hunter

I checked this morning as soon as I sayw the topic. basic research, us engineers cant help ourselves. NO dont say it.!

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Oh, $hit – here we go…..
(ducks, hides under desk, pulls on shiny alfoil hat)

31 03 2010
Simon

*Laughs coffee over computer, leaves to find chux and new shirt*

31 03 2010
Going Bogue

I don’t know if purchasing jewellery from Tiffany is bogan per se, but, lining up behind a velvet rope to ogle jewellery that you will never be able to afford definitely is.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

hell yeah

31 03 2010
Jo

I discovered the existence of these things a couple of weeks ago when I my mother and I were shopping for a female family member’s 21st Birthday gift.
We were utterly horrified at them, they aren’t aesthetically pleasing in any way at all, you can buy much nicer looking jewelery from places like Equip and Diva for about 5 bucks a’piece (although they’re made of plastic and will break after a few months…but by that time the jewelery is out of fashion anyway).
We opted for a simple silver heart locket on a silver chain, nothing beats that classic.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Silver? I beg to differ…

31 03 2010
Jo

I find silver is more subtle than gold, gold is a bit too “how’s your father?”

31 03 2010
Tombarina

I concur, Jo.

I believe Fi’s aghast at the notion of a metallic substance other than platinum.

31 03 2010
SD

Fiona probably finds gold common as muck and no doubt wears some rare metal us mortals have yet to hear of.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not true. I do have some gold. Well, a lot actually.

31 03 2010
Robbie

9 carot?

31 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

“Fiona probably finds gold common as muck and no doubt wears some rare metal us mortals have yet to hear of.”

Possibly Unobtainium.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Don’t forget white gold, Jo.
I too dislike yellow gold…

31 03 2010
SD

Pandora always struck me as Euro trash/aspirational society matron (often one and the same) than bogan. Heaven knows I see enough of it in the North Shore. And very little of it out west.

Bogues IMO buy discount Diva jewellery or anything from Proud’s to Tiffany’s if they are cashed up.

31 03 2010
S

Waiting for a post on Better Homes and Gardens…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

ok watch this…
here it comes…

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Shirley M,
Fiona is not actually arragant. She is just displaying an understanding of the valuelessness of others

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG, I actually:

1) finally feel understood here and
2) really did LOL!

31 03 2010
Benjamin

My word, how far you have fallen.

*looks at feet*

I miss the old aloof Fiona. Where have you gone? She’s getting more common by the second.

Am I alone here?

31 03 2010
Nelson Esq

Loftie better watch out, James is making a play for Fiona…and he might just succeed too; he understands her and makes her laugh! Time will tell….

31 03 2010
loftie

May the best man win…. 😉

1 04 2010
common man

benjamin shhhh

31 03 2010
Shirley M

You mean like how you’re not really sickeningly eager to befriend Fiona, you’re just displaying an understanding of the pathetic nature of men?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

may be pathetic but nearly so much as mankind

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

chk chk boom

31 03 2010
Simon

Yep, that’s the spot.

31 03 2010
Jo

As I’ve pointed out before, these posters that fawn over Fiona aren’t different people its one person who has Fiona as their main ego and all the others as his/her alter-ego who function as supports to build up and back up the main ego, its simple internet sociopath behavior.

31 03 2010
Simon

*Sticks hand up*

No I am Fiona

(Apologies to Stanley Kubrick)

31 03 2010
Nelson Esq

I am Fiona and so is my wife!

(Apologies to Monty Python)

31 03 2010
James

I am most certainly not, and I resent the accusation. I am far better educated for one thing…

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. *slap*. How dare you! I have a higher degree in the Classics from well, you know where.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh
snip! snap!

No! My Wife and I are Brian.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

gazumped.

😛

31 03 2010
amr

I must live a sheltered life.
Never heard of these.
I’ll have to set foot into a Westfield now just to spot a few.

31 03 2010
James

Don’t do it amr. Its not worth it. Nothing is worth doing that for.

31 03 2010
amr

It has been a few years since the last visit.
Took me months to get over the banality.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Krispy Kreme and Pandora are metres from each other at Pacific Fair on the Gold Coast… (not Westfield and yet not safe)

31 03 2010
Juansito

I don’t know about you folk but i am tiring of having the troll fiona take over the comments with her boring dribble. Once was charming, two times was funny, three times is just boring and mundane. Her ability to wander off topic and ruin some funny comments makes me want to eat small babies.

Would be good if the comments had an ignore function. She is just not funny no more and the habit of beginning every comment with a LOL is now very bogue.

The troll Fiona jumped the shark about 56 posts ago.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Please don’t eat small babies.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’ve heard they taste like chicken!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh my…

31 03 2010
Shirley M

By the way, TBL, I liked your reference to Avatar.

31 03 2010
SD

So agree Juansito, this site is becoming “LOL Things Fiona Likes” (or Dislikes for that matter).

More interesting comments get lost in the Fiona torrent. But it helps TBL in making it look like 200+ people are comemnting on its posts!

31 03 2010
Sammie

Yes I agree. Everybody else’s comments and opinions are lost in the conversation about Fiona. And yet it’s the same rubbish on repeat…
“I have a degree in the Classics”
“I am better than everybody else”
“LOL”

For god’s sakes I’m thinking of not reading beyond the actual article anymore.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Well for the past 30 posts everytime i see a spike in comments i just know 2 people are chatting like it’s MSN..Fiona and James.

Very boring and the conversations could take place on MSN or even gmail chat.

She just isn’t funny and i am starting to think ROVE is funnier than her.

LOL LOL LOL

31 03 2010
Simon

Was this you Juan?

Jilted Javan teen chops off penis and tosses it down a well

AN Indonesian teenager chopped off his penis and tossed it down a well after learning his girlfriend intended to marry another man.

The 19-year-old from a village in Central Java was lucky to survive the self surgery, health authorities said.

“He arrived at the hospital last Thursday in critical condition from blood loss,” Cilacap General Hospital Director Sugeng Budi Susanto told local media.

“Cutting off a penis can be fatal.”

Doctors were unable to re-attach the dismembered member because villagers could not find it.

The teen spent several days in intensive care but is now in recovery, Mr Sugeng said.

He had not spoken to anyone about the incident, Mr Sugeng said.

“He’s still too shocked and embarrassed to talk to or see anyone.”

31 03 2010
Jo

Fiona and James are the same person, their conversations are purely for show

31 03 2010
Juansito

So is Simon it seems.

31 03 2010
James

I am most certainly not Fiona.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. He most certainly isn’t.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

if I was going to invent a sycophant it would have better spelling and stuff.

1 04 2010
common man

yea aims i agree..where,s the facist police when needed

31 03 2010
Aims

Finally! People have said it. I think it everytime I read a new TBL.

I do love reading the articles but the forum had become annoying to read. I’ve started to skip all the ‘high and mighty’ Fiona responses.. which have taken over the entire forum making it nothing but boring ‘elitist drivel’.

On forums theres always one or two elitist bogans who have to comment on everything, correct peoples grammar and speak unlike they would in real life.

Dont they work or have a life outside of forums? I do wonder.

Anyway.. Pandora bracelets suck. I make my own bracelets in attempt to be unique lol.

31 03 2010
Juansito

You better watch out – Fionas little troll bots might call you out and decide to gang up on you and feed her/his ego.

31 03 2010
Aims

True, but thats when i’ll go back to my life outside of internet forums and ignore the trolls although they annoy me to no end.
I suggest you leave it alone now too. Don’t get me wrong, i’m relieved you pointed it out.. but provoking it will just perpetuate the idiocy.

I’ve seen this happen on every single forum i’ve ever been to. People love arguing points of view and their right of freedom of speech and in the end no one gets anywhere and the back and forth banter ends up ruining the forum forever.

And like the saying goes “arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, you’re still retarded.”

Anyway.. back to life 🙂

31 03 2010
Sammie

Things Bogans Like: Fiona’s comments

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It does seem to be the case… 🙂

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

now it could have ended here…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh my god
I love that line!

arguing on the internet; we are ALL winners!

YAY!!!

2 04 2010
Sam

that is very funny.

is that from Seinfeld?

31 03 2010
berihebi

This Pandora thing reminds me of Swatches. It’s marketing genius to get people back to buy accessories for one product over and over. Must think of something….

31 03 2010
Jo

knitwear for ipods?

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Beri and Jo – O. M. & G!. (high-pitched tone)

You’re both absolutely right.

That crap is right up there with “designer” (and I use the term in the loosest possible fashion) clothing and accessories for pets. Exhibit A: Burberry dog coats….

31 03 2010
francdux

Assumption about Fiona
-Not funny (not an assumption)
-Sedentary job, if employable or capable of human relationships, giving her time to post
-Lack of social interaction
-Fat and unstable
-Mild form of aspergers, possible bi-polar
-No real taste or meaningful opinions (Tiffany?)
-Most likely ugly and asexual, craving attention on a blog forum while the real world despises her

31 03 2010
James

Ooh – do me next.

31 03 2010
Simon

You know what they say, assumption is the mother of all f**k ups.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Are you Fionas other alias?

You seem to be getting a bit tensed up about the criticisms of fiona!!

31 03 2010
Jo

good young pad-wan your learning

31 03 2010
Dean

what a strange thing to say

31 03 2010
vivisection

Call me naive, but why do so many people on this site resort to personal attacks and character asassination? If you arent enjoying it, read something else. You may not be interested in reading Fiona’s comments, so contribute something yourself that isn’t just slagging off other people.

31 03 2010
Simon

Viv, good call, the ones who are negative never have anything useful to contribute. Which is a shame because it would be welcomed.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Again is this your other alias Fiona? 😉

31 03 2010
Juansito

Oh so the rest of us have to put up with the trollish behaviour and the mundane posts. If she didn’t get in the way of conversations that are interesting or funny then your point is valid.

But she spams the hell out of these boards with rubbish.

31 03 2010
Simon

Jaun,

I am not Fiona but Fionas value is a personal opinion and she is entitled to enjoy the blog as much as anyone else. Worth while comments are valued but simply slagging off someone contributes nothing. If the posts by her, James(x2), me or anyone else annoys you start your own thread, you never know you might enjoy yourself.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Don’t you think telling somebody “if you don’t like it, then read something else” is a tad bogan. Actually i am going to say it’s very bogan.

I want to read witty, truthful comments. Not some troll who repeats the same thing over and over again.

She is not witty nor is she entertaining.

Simon your coming across as a bogue.

31 03 2010
SD

Simon (or Fi or james or whatever) looks like you can’t stand a bit of heat regarding your comments on a site which is essentially about being snarky!! A whinge as a comeback is rather bogue, n’est ce pas?!

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

We have never heard from you before now? Don’t blame the content without contributing any of your own…

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Um, Fiona tends to slag-off rather a lot. Agree with the rest of your note, though.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Fiona is not the problem. The I love / I hate Fiona posts are.

And you are a subscriber.

31 03 2010
Simon

Can we get a clownshoes Shirl?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

The clown shoes was inferred. Was I being too subtle?

31 03 2010
Simon

Yeah, and we need Chubby to call people names.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

dude.
I’m not touching this.

31 03 2010
Simon

Go on, you know you want too

*Moves over adopts curious stance*

31 03 2010
Jo

this is true, but the fiona ego’s are trying to suck you over to her/his side now that you’ve appeared to stand up for her/him

31 03 2010
Jo

I agree with both of you.
While one should try to ignore the things that bother them rather than waste time complaining about them, I also admit that in this context, unrelated and boring posts can become tiresome to scroll through, much like spam.

31 03 2010
SD

Vivisection strange comment for a site based on slagging off other people!! To which Fi girl has added her inane contributions. Maybe you are on the worng site?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

The key word is ‘personal’.

31 03 2010
SD

Like Delta Goodrem is a person and not a type/stereotype you mean?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Like people who like Delta Goodrem are a type/stereotype.

31 03 2010
SD

I recall TBL discussing Ms. G’s vanilla bogueness….Also given Fi’s comments, I think “she” is a bot programmed to spew out a limited set of comments prefaced with LOL.

31 03 2010
Juansito

I think i want to believe you there. Every single comment begins with that annoying LOL and seriously after 117 posts and about 1000 replies you would think she would have dropped the LOL once or twice..but never!

Sometimes bloggers or forum moderators throw a troll bot in the mix to spice it all up.

31 03 2010
Jo

At least the LOL’s make it easier to identify posts you probably don’t need to read

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

It’s part of the joke…

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Well I’M just grateful that Juan has prevented today’s topic from going off traaaaaaaccccckkkkkk…..
(mini-LOL. More of a titter, really.)

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

she said tit
giggle.

*munching popcorn*

31 03 2010
Juansito

Jokes are meant to induce some kind of happy reaction. The troll that is Fiona has been failing with her brand of comedy now for 117 posts.

31 03 2010
James

A subjective analysis.

31 03 2010
Juansito

So we are allowed to laugh and get personal with individuals that are featured on this blog, but attack one of the clique members (albeit a very unfunny and unoriginal one at that) and it’s all of a sudden personal attack.

Displaying bogan traits there Shirl me dear.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I couldn’t give a f*ck what you think of Fiona, or any of the so called ‘clique members’ to which you refer. You seem to be missing the point.

Clown shoes.

31 03 2010
Simon

Thats the girl. Jaun and SD are obviously the same troll.

31 03 2010
Juansito

You honestly think that your trolling as some sophisticated toorak woman is funny?

Can you explain to me the reasons why?

1 04 2010
common man

juan simon sounds like a winnie blue man

31 03 2010
Jo

hey whoa there simon, you can’t just start applying my alter-ego theory to every group of people who agree on here.
When they start having cringe-worthy conversations about how much they admire each other, then you can speculate on who may have multiple “personalities”

31 03 2010
Juansito

what is the point darls? By the way darls you got any horizons left?

31 03 2010
SD

I believe the attempt to shut off all conversation by chucking in a swear word and appending a catch phrase – in this case clown shoes – is also bogan.

Language, dear girl- remember this is a public site and we must all mind our Ps and Qs.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Clearly all the same people. Why would anyone be so defensive towards an unfunny troll?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I’m more than happy to keep this conversation going. I did think I had expressed my opinion in a clear and concise manner, but it seems I will have to expand it for you and Juansito.

I generally refrain from expressing my personal opinions on those who regularly post on this site, but I will make an exception in this case.

There are two things that are annoying about Fiona, and she can only be held accountable for one of them, which is, of course, the LOLing. For me personally, I get images of a giggling idiot which highlights a difficult juxtaposition with the alleged M.St.

The second, which I have mentioned, is the I love / I hate Fiona crap which constantly litters the comments. Fiona can not be held personally accountable for this, but the likes of Juansito can. This is particularly loathsome when the accused makes no attempt to be a part of the conversation that is actually derived from the blog itself.

Lastly, constantly suggesting that others are ‘bogan’ as a form of insult is very, very lame, as is the practice of using terms such as ‘my dear’, ‘dear girl’ and ‘darls’ in order to patronise.

31 03 2010
Juansito

So the rest of us who don’t subscribe to fionas stupidity and bore have no right in commenting..because doing so annoys YOU and YOU only?

The more you post, the more you come across very bogue in your thought process..darls.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Poor Juansito. Not getting the support you expected? And craved.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Perfect example of fiona trolling.

Way to ruin a good blog moron.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I don’t believe I used or inferred the phrase ‘no right’, champ.

I implore you to read my comment again, particularly the fourth paragraph, very slowly and carefully.

31 03 2010
Juansito

But i cannot help but to think you are nothing but a pseudo intellect who is really a bogan.

– You have attacked me a few times for merely suggesting we remove an annoying troll
– You have used profanities when you couldn’t articulate your point
– You have used a very bogan defence in the “if you don’t like don’t read it”
– You then try to pontify your rubbish to me as though it has any semblance of reasoning.

How does it feel to fight your inner bogan – darls?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I have not attacked anyone, nor have I defended anyone. I have defended the RIGHT to post.

I never suggested ‘if you don’t like it, don’t read it’.

You see, tiger, the fact remains that there is no ignore function. It is as it is. Whinging about it will make no difference.

31 03 2010
toony

“Champ”…love it. That and “tiger”. They’re an internet forum backhander 🙂

1 04 2010
common man

LOL, fi will have a cry now,,my feelings of laughter come through

1 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

is that a haiku?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Damn!
yeah.
ditto.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

We get it shirley, and you’re spot on.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Phew. And cheers.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

do we have a clique?

I thought we were an autonomous collective.

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Rabid mob today. Normal service to be resumed tomorrow.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

You’re a funny monster!!!

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Help, help!
I’m being repressed!

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

“Come and see the violence inherent in the system”

31 03 2010
vivisection

I guess the reason I visit this site and comment is because it validates. Being a thinking minority in a world full of bogans which dictate cultural expression is a reality many of us face. So visiting a site which dares to suggest that 1. you are not alone in facing this horror and 2. you aren’t crazy because you think with some level critical analysis, is a small indulgence i enjoy every day. When people resort to personally attacking each other, it pisses all over this and only demonstrates their own insecurity and lack of confidence. My point, I guess, is why are you here if you having nothing to offer and feel offended by everything you read? If you are offended, why not offer an alternative or solution instead of high school insults.

31 03 2010
SD

Vivisection, I take your point but I wouldn’t call TBL “critical analysis” which is useful for validating whatever issues you have. It’s a bit of a hoot and a lark really and if one strenuously followed its posts to eliminate every hint of bogueness then it would be a sad world. Its not a site where we seriouly discuss alternatives and solutions to being bogue – and indeed one may well ask why you don’t do so in the real world instead of coming to a site which mocks bogans and thus feeling validated. TBL itself doesn’t offer alternatives – in its own way it’s very undergraduate/high school in tone!

In any case, my comment was on Fiona’s comments. Many comments here don’t do anything to add to the post. It’s perfectly OK to make a comeback to it-and let me add that it was done in a light hearted spirit and it is noted that LOL posts are fun – upto a point. There is no need to moralise about comments.

31 03 2010
Jo

Well she’s gone by around 12 noon so if you can’t stand her, just visit the site in the afternoon. If you love her visit the site in the morning. If you don’t care either way…well continue on with that I guess.

31 03 2010
SD

Oh I like Fiona! I just wish she would mix it up a bit, change tack – she should be aware of her responsibilities to her readers!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I have no responsibility other than to my good self. If you don’t like it, I don’t really care. LOL.

31 03 2010
Juansito

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Fiona, Fiona, Fiona.

You used to have a responsibility to your lessers… Whatever happened to that?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Noblesse Oblige. *sigh*. Yes, it’s my lot in life I’m afraid.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Well lift your game for Pete’s sake! You are doing a desperately bad job at the moment.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Don’t blame me because you don’t like the taste of the medicine.

1 04 2010
common man

fi a lot is to fufill,, something your not

31 03 2010
Juansito

She could start with dropping the LOL

The rest i can deal with and skip..but it’s the constant use of LOL which i find annoying.

31 03 2010
vivisection

I certainly wouldn’t call TBL “Critical Analysis” either, I said that it validates a reader who has an ability to critically analyse. Big difference. Nor did i suggest that its is a site for one to offer solutions / alternatives to the bogue world. My suggestion is that if you don’t like a thread, suggest a way that TBL could change the format. Someone did suggest an ignore button, much more productive than listing assumptions about other posters. Assumptions which including what I do or don’t do in the real world. Finally I haven’t moralised once about peoples comments, I have made my own opinions clear and questioned the motives of others. Moralising involves telling people what is right and what is wrong. Do as you please, I do.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Ignore button would help solve this mess. Means i can continue to enjoy reading the blog and the comments without some troll making it all about her.

Essentially thats what Fiona has done. The person has created a persona to troll and has won the affection of you people who now seem to want to defend her.

Explain to me defenders of Fiona, what does she bring to the blog??

i for one don’t want to read her boring ramblings.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I suppose you could just read my name (it’s at the TOP of each post, in bold) and then decide NOT to read it. Too hard for you is it?

31 03 2010
Juansito

It’s hard when your rubbish is but every second reply.

Is it hard for you to not understand that your parody of a wealthy uppity toorak woman is rubbish?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. If it WAS parody, perhaps.

31 03 2010
Juansito

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOL

31 03 2010
Juansito

Well then you are pretty lame with your attempts to create an online parody.

31 03 2010
vivisection

It’s not Defenders of Fiona vs You. It’s about why create and spend the negative energy on someone that is enjoying the site in their own way. What she doesn’t bring is nasty personal attacks on other posters.

31 03 2010
SD

Bogans may well find this site full of negative energy…..a few like common man in fact seem to have left the site (though I note that Fiona has been commenting on common man on this very thread).

31 03 2010
SD

A tad touchy today, vivisection. To be honest, I fail to see why complaining about Fiona’s numerous posts should bring down such a hailstorm of criticism. You question my motives and yet say you make no assumptions. You are full of useful suggestions aka directing me away from bad activities such as thoughtlessly “character assasinating” Fiona and yet you are not moralising!

I take you advice to do as I please aka I reserve the right to comment any which way on Fiona’s comments. Or make assumptions about her. And if you don’t like this thread ignore it or just put the ignore button next to it. Problems solved.

31 03 2010
vivisection

Touchy, my first post in regard to this matter was in reference to the assumptions list posted by francdux (who has since vanished). I replied to your post when you by suggested I was on the wrong website. I don’t recall singling you out for thoughtless character asassination at all, I only replied to your comment about me and my motives for being on the site. Likewise I have not specifically defended Fiona, I have commented about the general negative tone in the comments. You seem to have read my comments as personal attacks on you. To reiterate, my comments have all been regarding why anyone needs to be nasty to prove their point? If responding to you when you mention me is touchy then I guess I must be. Should I have rolled over by now?

31 03 2010
SD

Vivisection we seem to be at cross purposes here. I am sure nothing personal was intended on both sides and anyway comments between strangers are subject to more misunderstanding than most. So I’ll leave it at that but thank you for replying each time.

I take your point about keeping it not nasty. But this is an open forum with no comment moderation, it’s democratic and some people express themselves in an acerbic and exasperated way. It seems to me that they have the right to be annoyed by co-commenters and express themselves.

31 03 2010
vivisection

SD, nothing personal from me either.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Nice one Viv.
So true

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Thanks, Viv – three thumbs up from this critic.

If one doesn’t like a thread, don’t follow it.

Although, some of my most painful coffee-out-the-nose snorts have been triggered by random off-topic posts which have nothing to do with the original subject de jour. Rather like Juan’s crosspants thread, just without the snort’o’amusement factor…

31 03 2010
SD

With due respect Tomabarina, that’s like saying if you don’t like 2 and a half men, shut off the TV, don’t watch it and certainly don’t post on it or worse comment on it.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Most likely from me of course.

31 03 2010
Juansito

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I find complaining about or mimicking Fiona to be very boring.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I find it to be secretly thrilling!

31 03 2010
Juansito

As most trolls do when they create reactions and friction. 😉

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Trying to tell us something Juansito…???

31 03 2010
Juansito

I dunno fiona, am i? 😉

31 03 2010
Fishmouse

In more horrifying news, Pandora charms aren’t restricted to bracelets. I know a young lass, friend of the family, who after running out of room on both her wrists, has moved onto a necklace.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I hope no one is able to add here that they have knowledge of young ladies sporting Pandora anklets. That would be too much.

31 03 2010
Kate

Alas they DO! While I have no intimate knowledge of Pandora selling official anklets, around the Penrith area, many younger teeny-bogues, will purchase the longer bracelet, and then wear it around their ankles.

I must confess, I was given a Pandora bracelet from a family friend, around 4 years ago (before they reached their peak bogue popularity). I filled it up with charms, and now have it sitting in a drawer somewhere.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

NO!

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I just want to say canckles right here.

31 03 2010
Sibyl Ince

I don’t know about Pandora’s anklets, but I suspect there is more than one set of Pandora’s ankles represented on this forum. Ankles which, once opened, never close.

31 03 2010
vivisection

Oh, The Humanity..

31 03 2010
Fi of Sunshine

lulz aye ‘ow ya going fuckknuckles.

I wez in tiffanies yesterdey and was thinkn abour doin the place ova!

Me daughter rhayleene has one of that bracelet..me man gav stole it from someone in toorak aye.

31 03 2010
Kate

I knew they were a piece of fad jewelery from the minute I saw them.

31 03 2010
Adrian of Sydney

I feel ashamed that I recommended one of these to my mother as a gift for my sister, albeit about 6 years ago (when they were new and cool “apparently”). Oh well…

31 03 2010
Jo

good that’s what this is all about, making people feel ashamed of themselves

31 03 2010
h

Tiffany is without a doubt bogan. Bogues define themselves by brands, and what would appeal more to the bogue than loudly declaring that she could afford to purchase a Tiffany necklace, therefore giving her a passport to the world of the elite. Bogues miss the hint that elegence is subtle, not a vulgar display of wealth. That’s why we see celebrities (Paris Hilton) who may be able to afford luxury brands but always, always get it wrong. I’m afraid you can’t buy elegence or class and money does not automatically equal a non bogue. True story.

Also I have never heard of a pandora necklace before and I’m very grateful for that.

31 03 2010
pinky has a brain

I can’t say I blame Tiffany & Co. riding the wave of the cashed up bogan. Their laughing all the way to the bank. They can make these crappy pieces of ‘jewelery”‘ (I use the term loosely) for about $5 and sell it for $30-$100+.

I know some one who has 3 daughters (Keyarah, Taylah, and Sarah) and this les Bouge mum bought each of her daughters and herself a bracelet. In the same purchase she filled all four of these crappy things with “charms” and they were FOUL. She bought Sarah (the middle girl and the only one of her five children who have a normal name and it’s spelt correctly) a dices (her description not mine) a teddy bear and a pram, just to name a few. She showed me, and was explaining to me how her girls could keep them for the rest of their lives…I nearly threw up.

The next day I saw her, she didn’t look too happy, so enquired as to “why the long face?” her reply: “I broke my pandora and lost all the charms!” I nearly wet myself laughing…

31 03 2010
pinky has a brain

**whom has…** I wish there were an edit function

31 03 2010
Jo

no you don’t, then no one would know you and your genius has come across their mild mistake and corrected it, it would go totally unnoticed.

31 03 2010
Jo

sorry
“you and your genius has come across YOUR mistake and corrected it”
ha ha maybe that edit button isn’t such a bad idea

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Juansito, thank you for all the efforts you’ve been making on my behalf in the last 90 minutes or so. Glad to know I’m such a big part of your life.

31 03 2010
Juansito

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

31 03 2010
Peggsy

I read everything on TBL, but rarely comment, and just have to pop in and say that Fiona’s LOLs don’t bother me at all. They are like the defensive moat around her castle and I appreciate anyone taking an appropriately strong position on the bogan vs elitist debate from the very beginning; it helps shape the discussion.

Can I say that without being accused of being Fiona herself (I am a fan of most of the regular contributors on here too, not just Fi), and can we please move on Juansito?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

gee you are really good at this.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

cr@p!

was intended for juansito.
hi peggsy

1 04 2010
common man

fi,a a bit like barnaby,,brings the hate/head shakes out of everyone

31 03 2010
ant

These charm things are a uber-ripoff. I hadn’t noticed them until a friend whom I hardly see these days invited everyone to her birthday and suggested that these were good. Now there’s heaps of different brands all doing them BUT you can get the chain in Spotlight for $5 and the charm thingies are $1.50 and up. Would anyone know the difference? NO! Have I got one? HELL NO. I know a rort when I see it. This is to keep people buying their crap, “collecting” it.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

I’m confused by the alleged cross-referencing trollery.
According to earlier posts:
* Simon = Fiona
* Fiona = non-specified James
* Fiona + non-specified James + Simon
* Juan = SD

Is it mandatory to be a multiple? If so, I think I’d like to Chubby. Or the Fourth Earl of Plymouth.

31 03 2010
Fourth Earl of Plymouth

Excellent idea. And beautifully espoused.

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Um – your avatars are the same…

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

LOL. Too true…

31 03 2010
Rombatina

No, they’re not.

31 03 2010
Fourth Earl of Plymouth

Oh, bugger. You’re right.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

You are Hysterical!!!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Looove the frock coat.

In the Rinzai School of Zen
students are subject to being struck by surprise, with a wooden cane or stick by a master as a tool for realisation or enlightenment..
In the moment of being struck your mind becomes fully present in the now. Everything is banished from the mind.

and you are completely in reality.

None of this is real.

31 03 2010
Jo

As the founder of the multiple personality theory or as I like to call it the “Nest Feathering” theory I would like to clear up (for a second time) that a group of people can’t be suspected of being one person if they simply just agree with each other, they have to be constantly sucking up to one “mother ego” and feathering her/his nest (hence the name of the theory)

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Oooh, this is easy!
How excitement.

31 03 2010
Simon

That is genuinely hilarious, thankyou so much.

31 03 2010
Rombatina

Don’t encourage them. They’re unmedicated.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Genius Work All
We have enough material in this blog alone for a sitcom pilot:

BogueStreet

a jingle:
“where the c*nts all meet
it’s Bogaan Streeeet!”

if you build it, they will come…

31 03 2010
Simon

Chubby,

You the man.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL…

“They spend their days at Centre Link,
Down the pub, on the drink,
No one works, none can be arsed,
The last c*nt that did got glassed…”

31 03 2010
Simon

SD/Juan can be Bert and Ernie.

Can I be the Cookie Monster?

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

No. The Fourth Earl of Plymouth has dibs.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

And you, he, Tombarina and Rombatina are the same. Haha! It’s fun spotting these double-double ups…

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Shit, he is my favourite.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Nice. So now you find it appropriate to have a go at SD and myself for having the “guts” to call Fiona out? It amazes me how many trolls online always seem to find enough people to stick up for their stupidity.

31 03 2010
Simon

What guts you have shown. Oh look a medal to pin on your chest. All better now?

31 03 2010
Juansito

Thanks. Now can i pin a “appreciation of being an online dickwad” badge on your forehead?

31 03 2010
Simon

Whatever helps you out dude.

31 03 2010
Juansito

How about a slap on the forehead as well?

31 03 2010
Simon

*Lowers head down to Juans level*

31 03 2010
Juansito

“Slap”

now walk away and think about how silly and stupid your defending of troll fiona has been today.

31 03 2010
Simon

Are you allowed to come and play tomorrow?

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Aaand CUT!

thats a wrap. great job guys see yez tomarra!

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Phew, that was a very emotional scene, I’m drained.

31 03 2010
vivisection

Juansito, would you define “troll” for us.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Fiona of toorak! LOL

31 03 2010
vivisection

Would it amaze you if I stood up for your stupidity?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It would amaze me.

31 03 2010
Juansito

So you would rather a blog filled with Fiona taking over the comments and posting dribble every single day?

I really don’t understand why a few of you are defending her?

May i please ask the reason why?

31 03 2010
Simon

Sure, ask away.

31 03 2010
vivisection

Even though i haven’t yet defended her comments, Fiona’s comments are a) harmless, b) amusing ( to some),c) inoffensive. Whereas yours, for someone so opposed to people taking over, have an overall tone of a) mean, b) not amusing, c) offensive i.e dickwad comments), d) relentlessly tedious, e) single minded, f) emotional based and without substance

31 03 2010
SD

Actually Fiona’s posts are a lot like bogans who are also harmless, amusing to some, largely inoffensive in their pursuits of Pandoras – and yet, immensely irritating.

I think Juansito’s point is that TBL’s normally brilliant posts and pertinent commenters are kind of completely undermined by the inanities of Toorak matrons till driven insane you exit – or are hounded out.

31 03 2010
Juansito

a) Well the constant need to beging each reply with LOL is far from harmless…LOL

b) her points are not amusing. They are just rehashed or recycled points she has made since day one.

c) See point a.

You are confused at what i am trying to do today. In fact you have missed it completely.

I was merely pointing out that Fiona is annoying and seems to turn every thread about her. Just go through the 117 posts and pick out where she has not turned it about her.

I want to read about bogans being trash and about experiences with bogans and their stupidty but her replies get in the way and ruin the flow.

Why is not wanting to put up with a silly troll such a big issue to a few of you?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Whinging about ‘not wanting to put up with a silly troll’ is not going to eventuate in getting rid of said ‘troll’. It really is that simple. If you thought you could rally support and drive her away you are clearly mental. She thrives on this crap.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

d) There is no d)

31 03 2010
Muz

I agree. I come to the comments to read about examples and anecdotes of Bogan behaviour from the posters regarding the days topic.

Initially a post would go up and here and generally the comments would relate to the post and someone may occasionally comment ‘yes that happened to me’ or ‘I saw that also’ now all you get is 5 comments relating to the post and 490 comments of people going off on tangents and blowing smoke up each others arses.

‘LOL!’

‘Oh good one Fiona’

‘I’ve got a degree in classics’

‘Well done Fiona’

Is that annoying? To me it is. Borders of sycophancy. (Is that a word.)

To paraphrase the bogues favourite larrikin artist (Kevin Bloody Wilson) …..
you can jam your fucking LOL up your fucking ARSE!

1 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Muz-
So you thought you’d post the same comment 5 times? Well done, Muz

31 03 2010
Tombarina

Sure, Juansito – I’ll have a red-hot go.

Being irritated by others’ views, expression or punctuation is an occupational hazard of getting involved with a blog. One deals with this via a complex biomechanical process known as ‘sucking it up’, and medication. A teaspoon of cement is the usual dose.

Blogging is the ultimate in freedom of speech. To quote Voltaire: “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” (Unless, of course, you’re Common Man, in which case, your ISP should be taken out the back and punished severely.)

31 03 2010
Simon

*Applauds*

31 03 2010
Juansito

So you agree with the comments section being turned into one big conversation about Fiona?

I agree with the free of speech rant but just as i don’t need to put up with some idiot in the real world repeating ad nauseam the same things over and over again. i don’t need my TBL experience dumbed down by an unfunny troll.

31 03 2010
Simon

No, the point is we can all comment and ignore what does not float your boat.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

With respect, Juansito – no, I don’t agree.

Yesterday, for example, started off with “doin’ me back”, attracted some cracking real-life examples, veered off madly into a debate about the best collective noun, touched on some ludicrous pets’ names and finished with an argument about Ikea and BCF stores.

I don’t recall it being all about any single poster. If it was, then clearly I’ve managed to tune it out, because I found the overall effect to be highly amusing. Ditto ADHD – quite thought-provoking and occasionally teeth-clenchingly painful, as was Road Rage.

Just my personal opinion. Feel free to glass me!

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, with the efforts you’ve made today, what other conclusion could one reasonably draw?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And, if memory serves me correctly, I made only 1 or 2 posts yesterday.

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

And just look what happened today Fi, you and all your commenting all over the place. Chubby has gone into complete meltdown.

1 04 2010
common man

1 or 2 fi geez if those were bullets we,ll be happy must have been 1 or 2 snorts to get you up to cloud 9

1 04 2010
Muz

@ AlyssaKT

FOF!

Just to make sure it wasn’t lost in the white noise.

FOF!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

wild applause.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

where the hell will this pop up?

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

It will pop up below my comment Chubby.

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Bugger, above maybe?

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Sh*t, he is my favourite.

31 03 2010
Tombarina

STOP IT! Coffee out my nose I can deal with. Rice, not so much.

That is pure, cheap-gold-plated, shiny, overpriced, designer-knock genius. Holden, glass manufacturers and Fev Inc will fall over themselves for sponsorship rights.

You’re an ideas man, Chub.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m having a flashback.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

You should try living with Chub.
He is nothing like this in real life.
haha

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I would like to tell you how much pleasure I get when I see your article and am relieved that the subject has never appealed to me! Every day!
I have never had any desire to walk into these Pandora stores and have observed others’ apparent devotion to the jewellery with much amusement.

I’ve also read an article about the (smart) woman who introduced Pandora to Australia – she now lives in a Darling Harbour-side mansion with her 2 beautiful daughters (with lovely names) and nanny, chef and driver….
Fiona?

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Seems like it could have been a good idea for one of you, but I don’t really need the money.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

… it’s like Hearts of Darkness in here..


shhh!
…choppers. who has my pipe?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

The book was “The Heart of Darkness”
by Joseph Conrad

31 03 2010
Mezz

“Heart of Darkness” as I recall..

“The Horror, The Horror”

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

no. the one about the making of apocalypse now.

maybe hearts IN darkness

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Chub Hearts of Darkness- A filmmakers apocalypse.

More like Lord of the Flies today.

31 03 2010
amr

Opened up a veritable Pandora’s box of glassing opportunities here with all the bogan like personal comments on here today…

31 03 2010
berihebi

Yeah, this site has become, like, totally bogan. That always seemed to be the point anyway.

31 03 2010
Simon

I have not had this much fun since my voice broke.

31 03 2010
James

All this LOL stuff is pretty annoying Juansito.

31 03 2010
SD

Wasn’t that his point?!

31 03 2010
James

Or your point. I’m confused now.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Was it? It seems his witty illustration of his point has gone way over my head. I’m sure only the brightest of the bright could have deduced the symbolic nature of his posts.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Yes it was – darls.

Maybe you are in fact as intellectually starved as the people mentioned everyday on TBL.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Definitely not, champ.

31 03 2010
Juansito

With a name like shirley the mind boggles, darls.

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I have no doubt that your mind is in a constant state of boggling.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

you dont maen “the boggle minds” ?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Shirley, do not call him champ, you will only encourage him

31 03 2010
Juansito

Thanks champ.

31 03 2010
Juansito

But i am only doing what Fiona does on a daily basis. I have made it about me.

It’s annoying isn’t it James?

31 03 2010
Simon

James,

You should have put ironic in brackets to help.

31 03 2010
SD

Simon that’s a good idea, particularly since a lot of us have James and Fiona confused – and in Toorak they are never ironic.

31 03 2010
Simon

Thanks SD.

31 03 2010
James

Without the hundred or so LOLs, no, it is actually quite interesting. This is the liveliest thread in a long time. Since CM left.

31 03 2010
Mezz

I disappear for a couple of hours and come back to this? Brilliant!

31 03 2010
James Hunter

one thing Fi does daily is have a cold shower. so I suggest if you wish to emulate her ladyship you start with the cold shower

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Next instalment of Things Bogans Like:

“Petty Fighting in Internet Forums”

A lot of folk here including myself (and you as well Fiona – you’re not above this) need to have a think about what is going on here. We’ve all been revealed as a bit bogan.

31 03 2010
Jo

bogans can’t type (see txt language)

31 03 2010
SD

True – also glassing settles matters more effectively ::-)

31 03 2010
Benjamin

They can, if they used to be not bogan and have dragged themselves into the mud.

31 03 2010
Juansito

At the end of the day we all have a little bogan in us. It’s Un-Australian not too!

31 03 2010
Simon

Spot on.

31 03 2010
Juansito

Maybe TBL needs to do a post about bogans and their need to call everyone who doesn’t follow their pursuits in life, their need to glass every cunt as “Un-Australian”

31 03 2010
Benjamin

I know (hell I’ve said as much), but I think there is too much bogan here today.

It’s crossed my threshold, at least 😦

We’re better than this folks! Let’s get back to discussion that has something vaguely to do with the posting of the day.

I’ll shut up now.

31 03 2010
ant

Hear hear.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

My husband has absolutely no Bogan in him.
We opened him up and checked!

31 03 2010
James Hunter

This “wharnseetow ” character is a figleaf of his own imagination. Or a poorley disguised “common man”

31 03 2010
James Hunter

I see wharnseetow is very inclined to hissy fits, surely that make him a cut glass bogan ?

31 03 2010
Juansito

tumbleweed.jpg

31 03 2010
James Hunter

yep sounds like “common man”, has hissy fits like common man, must be common man
what say?

31 03 2010
Jo

lol did you just comment on your own post twice?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

only way to get sensible comment !!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

when you are up to your arse in crocodiles, it is hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp.

my grandfather told me that.

😀

31 03 2010
SD

It’s richly ironic that common man is mocked and chased away and then everyone gets hissy about Fiona of Toorak. Off to the tumbrils with you, James Hunter!

31 03 2010
James Hunter

SD,
I certainly am not hissy with Fi.
Besides I thought the Tumbrils were after the chop not before? maybe im just loosing my head

31 03 2010
SD

No that you are not, you are merely hissy with people being hissy about Fi.

31 03 2010
SD

O I think it took you to the chop.

And James Hunter, you disappoint me. I have spent a whole day yesterday bemoaning the confusion between lose and loose these days. Many a bogan loosely employs a double O where the single is meant.

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

SD, If you are going to be pendant with Jimmie about spelling you will have a lot of work to do.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

It is loose to lose an “O”

31 03 2010
SD

Cookie Monster it’s not a matter of spelling, it’s about wrong usage. The words loose and lose have distinct meanings and should not be used interchangeably-sadly I have seen this error almost everywhere including the SMH, Australian et al.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Is et al the Israel newspaper

31 03 2010
Mezz

Hahahahahahaha

31 03 2010
SD

Ah James Hunter, your wit soars El Al (skywards).

31 03 2010
Gavin

Over 400 responses today and we’re still inside business hours.. It’s been a very unproductive day for non-bogues

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

everyone said
“F*ck! four o’clock! I gotta…”

and disappeared.

31 03 2010
SD

And I was thinking Pandora was racing to 500+ with only 50% of it being Ms. Toorak!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

honey can you get some more popcorn…

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

just in here on my own…

*zziiiip*

31 03 2010
Shirley M

I’m still here Chubby. Pass me the flippin’ popcorn.

31 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Are you sure you really want to share popcorn with Chubby, Shirley, after what he was just up to?

31 03 2010
Shirley M

Well I have to do something while he’s occupied choking the chicken, so to speak.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Popcorn with chicken salt? let me vomit a little

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh dear.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

@TBL
hey! at the top… where it says “Theys are thems”…

the “thems” should have an apostrophe.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

…having a wank!

get it?

…zziiip… Hey TBL…

yeah…
it is.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

I am waaaay more annoying than her.

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

blood fart
ppffft!

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Quick, someone find Chubbys meds before he hurts himself.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I think it is definitely time for Chubby to give himself a forehead slap!

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

and by the way
Thanks for putting me off popcorn you big C.

:O

31 03 2010
Pandabater

Lots of aggro today, road rage alert!!

31 03 2010
Mezz

Virtual glassing on the way I think. Looks like we all want this 4 day weekend to start!!

31 03 2010
Ironhalo

Guys and girls, I think it’s safe to say that the comments are starting to turn into a bit of ‘one-upmanship’ with people starting to post about their wealth (real or perceived) and possessions.
1. It’s not flattering, and no one cares,
2. It’s akin to facebooking every second of your day to an audience who doesn’t care (i.e. a bogan trait), and
3. There are more humourous things to write about, like real life encounters with aforementioned bogues and their increasing capacity to offend/entertain us folk of some intellect.

Juan, if you don’t want to read it random dribble from the congregation, don’t read the comments.
Fiona, stop going on about Toorak, and yes the LOLCANO in front of everything you write is approaching dangerous levels of bogan-esque.

Now onwards with the comedic stylings of TBL!

31 03 2010
Juansito

I have no issue what so ever with the rest of the TBL community..except for fiona the troll. I usually skip her dribble..but today her LOL reached boiling point, as one can see.

For this i apologise to all who i may offended.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No harm done.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
wharnseetow needs no encouragement from you or i

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. She’s probably gone to collect her Special Olympics medal.

31 03 2010
Cookie Monster

Jaun, I have not laughed so much in one day and acheived so little for a while. All in good fun champ.

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Iron halo,
Let me tell you about my wealth.
I Started Life with Nothing and I Still have Most of it Left !!!

31 03 2010
Muz

To Ironhalo,

I agree. I come to the comments to read about examples and anecdotes of Bogan behaviour from the posters regarding the days topic.

Initially a post would go up and here and generally the comments would relate to the post and someone may occasionally comment ‘yes that happened to me’ or ‘I saw that also’ now all you get is 5 comments relating to the post and 490 comments of people going off on tangents and blowing smoke up each others arses.

‘LOL!’

‘Oh good one Fiona’

‘I’ve got a degree in classics’

‘Well done Fiona’

Is that annoying? To me it is. Borders of sycophancy. (Is that a word.)

To paraphrase the bogues favourite larrikin artist (Kevin Bloody Wilson) …..
you can jam your fucking LOL up your fucking ARSE!

31 03 2010
Pandabater

All together now, big breath, in with the love, out with the hostility. What would Jesus think?

1 04 2010
common man

panda without “us” he,s just ..jes.. another sandnigger

31 03 2010
Ironhalo

I vote we re-direct our hatred and disdain towards the Great Unwashed. Who is with me? 😛

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

Hurrah!

*tosses jaunty cap aloft*

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Uh, isn’t that what I do?

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

It’s ok, it’s all over now.
Have a pimms

31 03 2010
Benjamin

Sadly, once it were so.

I miss those days. Now, you’ve lowered yourself to our level. Shame.

31 03 2010
SD

Ironhalo today was hardly hatred or disdain, it’s just a bit of fun. Besides Chubby may fall into the Great Unwashed category.

And be charitable, think of Jesus. Mock the bogans – don’t direct hatred and disdain towards them!

31 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

yeah
sorry I got a little frenzied.
I hate conflict.

31 03 2010
Pandabater

Do not forsake them as the bogans shall inherit the earth. (unless we kill em all)

31 03 2010
Peter

I’ve not time to read the entire comments section, but if I didn’t spring to the defense of fair Fiona it would be, by my own standards, inexcusable.

Juansito, you lack a sense of humour and carry on like a spineless parasite. Give up such behaviour immediately. I have no desire to make you feel like a harpooned whale, but has life taught you so very little? You’re probably a good person with good intentions and you, like all, are most welcome on this site. But by engaging in that most common of bogan traits you’re wearing out your welcome. A bit fundamental civility goes a long way. It’s not hard. And I’m sure you have either heard or needed to say those three words before.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. ❤

3 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Is that a scrotum?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
Fi is safe.

In your absense,I try to stand shoulder to shoulder with Fi,though I must admit I have to stoop a little.

The only times that I do tend to forget myself is when dear Fi shudders.
Im sure you understand what I mean to mean ?

1 04 2010
common man

james hunted remember,s zhang ruifang lol!!

31 03 2010
dementedbunny

best comments ever! My long bus trip home just flew by. I don’t know what i enjoyed more, the post or the comments. BTW children’s pandora bracelets are just the thing for little tiphanee’s 5th birthday

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The comments surely. I have no input into the post.

31 03 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Thank goodness.

31 03 2010
Peter

James Hunter, understanding you might be likened to a fever of disquiet and anxiety. By which I mean *shudders*

31 03 2010
Pandabater

What is a Pandora bracelet?

31 03 2010
Erk

Oooh, I missed a scrag fight!

31 03 2010
toony

Geez…what was the original subject again?

31 03 2010
Pandabater

Jesus hates Bogans?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Pandabater,
Well why not? At least we know Jesus was not a bogan because he did not have a Plasma TV

31 03 2010
Pandabater

But did he covert his neighbours?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

I do not believe so. I understand that he hived of the conversion business to the Johos and the Seven day bike riders.
He was doing OK until the Govmint of the day buisted him for having a lot of rebirthed donkeys in his yard .

31 03 2010
toony

Of course he ‘coverted’ his neighbours – that’s how he knows everything and stuff.

31 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Did Mary get the baby bonus?

31 03 2010
James Hunter

Rumour has it that she did indeed get the baby bonus,one for each rebirthed donkey. No wonder he gfot busted.
Bet the too a bit of flax for that !

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Yes Bogans make baby jesus cry.

31 03 2010
Pandabater

Apparently the baby bonus combined with flogging the gold, frankincense & myrrh on Ebay allowed them to install a formal sitting room in the stable.

31 03 2010
Simon

And a nice Pandora bracelet.

31 03 2010
toony

Ahhh…that’s right.

31 03 2010
Ryu

Geez I hope you’ve all got that out of your system now!

Another great TBL post. Shame about the comments.

31 03 2010
Pandabater

Thanks Ryu I’ll stop before I go blind.

31 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

“what’s love got to do with it” – Tina Turner
oh
no wait
um…
“All you need is love” – The Beatles

31 03 2010
brad

go too sleep iggle piggle

31 03 2010
Muz

I agree with Juansito. I come to the comments to read about examples and anecdotes of Bogan behaviour from the posters regarding the days topic.

Initially a post would go up and here and generally the comments would relate to the post and someone may occasionally comment ‘yes that happened to me’ or ‘I saw that also’ now all you get is 5 comments relating to the post and 490 comments of people going off on tangents and blowing smoke up each others arses.

‘LOL!’

‘Oh good one Fiona’

‘I’ve got a degree in classics’

‘Well done Fiona’

Is that annoying? To me it is. Borders of sycophancy. (Is that a word.)

To paraphrase the bogues favourite larrikin artist (Kevin Bloody Wilson) …..
you can jam your fucking LOL up your fucking ARSE!

31 03 2010
berihebi

I’m hungry, let’s get a Burrito

1 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Ooh, they’ve got a two for one at the Funky Chicken Shack…

31 03 2010
Muz

FOF! I’m beginning all my posts with FOF. It’s shorthand for Fuck Off Fiona!

I’m tired of wading through dozens of shit posts to find the occasional gem. It’s gotten worse as time has gone on.

I know someone will write ‘well don’t read the comments’ but I DO want to read the comments mainly for examples of bogueish behaviour relating to the day’s post not hundreds of inane idiots chattering like a dozen galahs in a gum tree.

Join in if you like.

FOF!

1 04 2010
Laura

Haha, purchased DNA, and “sucker” in the tags! I’m not really one to use LOL, but…eff it, that calls for a LOL. 😛

God those bracelets are tacky.

1 04 2010
Laura

As well as being consistently hilarious, and helping me stay sane while I’m (hopefully temporarily) tethered to Boganville, I adore this blog for reassuring me I’m not bogue! I can honestly say I don’t subscribe to a single thing that Bogans Like so far…yay me!! 😛

1 04 2010
Laura

Ooh, I spoke too soon. There is ONE thing. The Secret. With all due respect, I don’t think it’s necessarily bogue only. Certainly it’s bogue; they love it and are always up for a quick fix solution. And it’s definitely written for bogues, yes. The book’s so insultingly condescending that any given little Jayden or Taylah could comprehend it, but stiiiiiiill….

I totally dig the essential premise, although I can, of course, see that said premise is nothing revolutionary, nothing that I hadn’t intuited in primary school, or observed through basic psychology. Certainly nothing that wasn’t always obvious to me on planes of myself both psychological and spiritual.

What’s bogue about it is the whole instant gratification thing, and the whole sheep-syndrome thing that bogues have long been afflicted by.

1 04 2010
Leroi

Hate to say it TBL but it sounds kinda like ya running out of things to rip on. WHY? There’s a plethora of stuff out there far more worthy of mentioning than this. My hometown, the Goldy is right up there and there must be a million more.
C’mon stop slacking off, there’s an entry right there, Slacking off

1 04 2010
AlyssaKT

TBL is NOT running out of things to “rip” on… Every article has been relevant – the only people who have disagreed have been bogans…

4 04 2010
Leroi

With 1,000,000,001 other far more worthy entries to be made it seem to me as if they are running low on material dearest Alyssa. Now please drive your over accesorised, sticker laden V8 ute back to whatever outer suburb you live in and don’t forget to hit the drive through bottle-o on the way back to pick up some UDL’s and a bottle of Lambrusco. Good night

4 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Thank you, Leroi, for describing everything I am not.
(My Mitsubishi Lancer sedan has no stickers and I live in Broadbeach (beach side of highway). I detest anything premix but surely drive-through bottle shop service is better than hanging out at Dan Murphy’s…?)

Actually, I have been thinking about your Gold Coast suggestion and, as long as they called the entry, “Queensland (meaning Gold Coast)”, I believe it would work quite nicely.

1 04 2010
Leroi

And the Sunny Coast=Mega Bogan as are most places with ‘Port’ in the name. Especially Port Mac, Port Kembla and good ole Port Melbourne. More bogan idols entries could be Wayne Carey, David Boon, Angry Anderson, Barry Hall, Spider Everett, Warwick Capper, Shane Warne, Eddie McGuire, Sammy Newman, Jason Akermanis, Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson, Chopper Read……..I could go on for days, seriously.

1 04 2010
loftie

Wow – Fiona really struck a vein yesterday… 580 posts and counting…

Bravo!! 🙂

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, you know what they say Loftie: “the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about”. 😉

1 04 2010
James Hunter

spoken like a true lady
also, its not what they say but how they say it

1 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

“His Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss.”

1 04 2010
James Hunter

I bend to the advise of someone with experience in the matter

1 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

‘advice’

FOF!

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“Oh Very witty Wilde”
nice one edna!
python

people.

1 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

FOF!

1 04 2010
Juansito

I am glad i wasn’t the only one that is fed up with the small amount of people who have decided to make this blog their own little social group. There are about 5 of them all about which is nothing in terms of people who visit this site..but these people are the ones who turn it into 250 replies about them and their irrelevant convos. Maybe TBL should have a forum so they can blow smoke up each others arses and leave the comments section for normal post.

yes James, Fiona, Simon, Shirl and the other james. We don’t want to read your dribble about each other.

And today..it’s happening again. I think i might blow fi and her gang up again.

1 04 2010
James

What did I ever do to you?

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s just typical bogan anti-intellectualism. Clearly they’ve mistaken you for one.

1 04 2010
James

No, they have mistaken me for you, Fiona. And I haven’t felt clean since. *shudder

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And yet, I’d wager, oh so tingly in your special place…

1 04 2010
James

Stop that. You’ll make Loftie cry.

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. When Loftie cries, a bogan gets it wings… By which I mean, can of Red Bull.

1 04 2010
SD

Somehow the words Fiona and Intellectual do not go together…..

Also Toorak matrons are not noted for their intelligence, which fact is endorsed by your daily scribblings.

1 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Great stuff SD, keep it up.

FOF!

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

bah!
you write like a sophomore sir!

1 04 2010
Shirley M

Hey cool. I’m in a virtual gang. Allegedly.

1 04 2010
James

We need a gang name. In the spirit of the Simpsons, I suggest the “Christ Punchers”.

Any thoughts?

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “The Tough Fionas”, with apologies to “Flight of the Conchords”.

1 04 2010
Shirley M

Doesn’t a gang need to have an MO before it has a name?

This is all moving too fast for me. I’m in a gang I didn’t know existed, and I don’t know why I’m in it.

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Your MO is to protect your beloved Fiona from the massing horde, pressing ever closer to the gates of her ancestral manse.

1 04 2010
Shirley M

I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with that MO. I’m a lover, not a fighter, with slight socialist leanings.

But that’s ok. Seeing I’m only allegedly in an alleged gang, I guess my MO is not really a crucial point.

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Your participation need only be of the typed variety.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I thought it was a clique?

1 04 2010
Shirley M

It started as a clique. In less than 24 hours it evolved into a gang. It sounds much more menacing, you see.

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, it won’t evolve into a {{collective noun}} of bogans. Whatever that turned out to be. A Juansito? A Mez?

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

cool. do we get jackets?

can I ‘pack heat’?

by which I mean can I carry a gun. totally not into innuendo… unless you mean that italian Gay bar.

no I’m not gay
(not that there’s anything etc.)
it was just a pun.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

ooh
what if we call it “Collective Noun”

that is totally post-modern

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL.

Let me try it on for a bit: “Chauffeur, slow down so I can watch that collective noun of bogans glass that c*nt in the Ed Hardy t-shirt.”

Yep, works for me.

1 04 2010
Shirley M

I LOVE collective noun of bogans on so many levels.

Brilliant.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh I thought we could call our gang that.
but yours works too.

1 04 2010
Shirley M

And the more I think about it, the more I love it.

1 04 2010
vivisection

You could call yourselves “The Debogantors” – sounds tuff

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

hey, c’mere honey he’s talking about us…

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

You are a whinger and a boor Sir.
Furthermore your protestations smack of jealousy.
I personally have engaged wits with Fiona of Toorak on more than one occasion, and I will tell you sir I emerged the victor!
You, Sir have chosen to announce yourself with peurile insults and invective and disturb a place of wit and gentle banter in a manner like unto which I have not seen these many a blog. Truly you and your cronies are no Gentlemen. For Shame Sir! Engage Sir! Your “letter to the editor” stylings and petulant rants have disrupted my morning crossword Sir.
Engage or Begone I say.

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “I personally have engaged wits with Fiona of Toorak on more than one occasion, and I will tell you sir I emerged the victor!” You must be joking. You have never even come close to any such thing.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Gracious as ever Madam!

(why certainly, for the sake of propriety and in the wake of these ‘shenanigans’ I am prepared to concede in order to maintain your veneer)

1 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You need not do it for propriety or my “veneer”, you need do it for the sake of truth. There is but one I find challenging – alas and alack, ’tis not you.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

c’mon it was just an allegory.

an Allegory!!!

but still
seriously.
Anytime. Bring it.

1 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

snip! snap!

1 04 2010
Ash

Personally, I enjoy Fi’s posts… ‘ tounge in cheek ‘ is the phrase that comes to mind. In fact, Fiona should publish a book containing her News Limited comments. The reference list could cite those great works consumed through out her higher degree in the classics.

The only posters who annoy me slightly are those who paste big chunks of text from the TBL entry and then limit their own input to a word or a short sentence that merely praises the content.

1 04 2010
Muz

More smoke up said arse.

1 04 2010
Another Matt Kelly

I would have thought that the cheap knock offs would be more the Bogan’s desire.
Love Links etc.

1 04 2010
Bam

My new hobby is masturbating by slamming my cock in a drawer. It is painful, but strangely stimulating. A bit like reading what most of you post on here.

Carry on.

2 04 2010
James Hunter

Bam,
wondered why you call yourself Bam? no I know.
dont feel ashamed , everyome has to be good at something and it appears you have found your one true tallent.

2 04 2010
Bam

I dont feel ashamed. Its Awesome. Also, its not my one true talent, just a hobby. Keeps me off the streets.

22 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

bahahahahahahahahahaha

3 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

wow.
the old comments WERE better.
I checked.

6 04 2010
James Hunter

Muz,Is that short for muzzel?
anyway. FOM ! , lots of us who still have some intellect left are sick of your constant FOF’s so i’m introducing FOM.
Ask you Mum what it means if you have trouble with acronyms.Sorry acronym has three sylables so you may need advice on that as we;Good luck in you future life endevours.

6 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

So what are you saying? You are your lots’ trolling is OK but mine is not?

I’ve been a part of this blog since way back at the beginning and I have just as much of a right to comment as you and your little cohort do.

You and the rest of your lot are acting like a pack of little primary school bullies. A couple of people object to the inane postings because they want to read about examples of bogan behaviour and you and your little schoolfriends try and drive them out. What a joke! Pathetic.

You think I don’t possess an intellect? Well my comments may not be James Joyce but they certainly don’t consist of shit like ‘Oh, good one Fiona.’ or ‘you are ignorant, of ignorance!’ or other gold.

Unlike yourself I have work to do but will check back later to assess your witty riposte!

FOF!

6 04 2010
Boort

Love the Avatar reference – despite this being the Bogans ‘favouritist film EVA!!’, the bogue does not realise they have seen this film many times before (due to their self-centered short term memory)

Dances with wolves (the bogan probably does not have the ability to sit for 3+hrs to watch this – though 3+ hrs of sport, porn or Red-Carpet Richard Wilkins would never be sufficient)
Pocahontas (the bogan would never admit to watching a cartoon – though their intellectual level would be perfect for this)
The Last Samurai (the non-racist bogan would not be inclined to view such a film unless they knew beforehand that Tom Cruise was going to die)

Each of these films are exactly the same as Avatar – Military man, in an effort to take over the indigenour folks, befriends them, discovers there way of life being more fulfulling, then takes up arms with the indigenous people to lead them into battle…

The bogue is unlikely to recognise this – even after reading the book

6 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I wish I was a celebrity.

7 04 2010
James Hunter

Fiona,
You still are

7 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. That’s a fake Fiona – check the avatar.

7 04 2010
AlyssaKT

haha – James didn’t even notice!

7 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’d probably RATHER have the other avatar, but what’re you gonna do? I’m so beautiful (as you’d expect) in real life that having an ugly avatar is of little consequence to me really.

7 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi, my dear, as to what am I going to do well we may let the pleasurable anticipation build.
I think you ment ,”what is one to do”
Not happy Jan.

7 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I am aiming more and more for the patois of the lesser people. Corresponding with so many of you over the last 5 months has given me more comfort that I can do it.

7 04 2010
James Hunter

True ,it did not have the regular cheerfull countenance

8 04 2010
Iguana

Actually I beg to differ that Tiffany itself is bogan, it’s just that the bogan has hopped onboard. Tiffany is classic elegance and there are beautiful pieces, the majority of which do not have overt “Tiffany” branding emblazoned upon them. Of course this house has been around for a very long time and was once solely considered synonymous with style and quality however unfortunately in recent times the bogan has seen fit to jump on the bandwagon, its preference being for those less-expensive numbers which unsurprisingly tend to have the brand name on show. One may witness a shift in the last 15 years re type of clientele who are mostly perusing the upper less-pricey floor. Those with class and an eye for true beauty are not purchasing iconic items with obvious “Tiffany” branding.

13 05 2010
julie

I saw a bogan out one night who was wearing no less than 5 of the iconic love heart Tiffany bracelets on the same wrist. The rest of her attire was equally apalling. I share this story because I think that being “boganish” is largely dependant on HOW you wear certain items. I would never wear all my jewelry at once. I just looked at her and thought “Okay hun. We get it. You have Tiffany bracelets. You have over 1k of repetitive blingbling on your wrist. I hope your over-maxed credit cards can recover”.

P.s Come on guys, let’s drop the spelling debate.

13 05 2010
AlyssaKT

Spelling debate?! I’m in!
In my opinion, there’s a huge difference between typos and constant spelling errors. It’s easy to re-read what you’ve written before you post it (I find some crazy stuff of my own sometimes) and it might be misread (or correctly assessed) as carelessness. But still, a jumbled letter “heer and tehre mattres not” so much.
Then there are people “who cant spel real wel” anyway and perhaps a little more book reading would help that. Iron out some creases. Or maybe their brains will never quite wrap around it like some, if that’s the case, then who’s to judge? Or they don’t prioritise it as much as some (or as much as some would like).
If any of the above have a great argument/statement/response/etc. then I’d love to hear from them, regardless.

Then there are those who say ‘who fuckin carez ne way hay” – and they take the prize.

14 05 2010
julie

I think it shows respect for your readers to edit your work and make sure that it is…well…readable. I just feel that if a post has generally correct spelling and grammar, and therefore is arguably “readable”, then it seems quite pointless for people to go on and on and and on about the “your/you’re” debate. After all, isn’t the purpose of language to communicate? So if people understand what your message says, despite a very minor mistake, then what is the big problem? When writing assignments I am quite a perfectionist with such things, yet in an internet forum, I am less particular. However, I am offended by language like “yea idnk” which i think just shows laziness.

18 06 2010
ihatefiona

shut up fiona!

14 07 2010
awesomness

yeah shut up fiona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

14 07 2010
awesomness

Julie is way too logical.

Leave a Reply to Gavin Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: