#112 – Mobs

24 03 2010

The bogan is never wrong about anything. In instances where there are negative consequences, it will always seek to blame an outside factor, such as intellectuals, the government, the police, or ADHD. But what about the moral dilemma when the bogan wishes to initiate negative behaviour from scratch, and there’s nothing else to blame?

Fortunately for the bogan, its lack of original thought means that there are usually other bogans who feel the same way as it does. So when it’s time to cause trouble, the bogan will not hesitate to shoehorn the Australiana cliché of ‘standing by your mates’ into the idea of ‘let’s form an angry bogan mob and be maxtreme’. Once the bogan integrates itself into an angry mob, its inhibitions melt away like polar ice caps. Liberated from its obligation to think, it duly charges around the place like a demented bronco, revelling in the collective unconsciousness. It is now free to steal any items that it may want, and destroy items that don’t warrant stealing. The bogan at this point will feel a deep and personal sense of affiliation with the Eureka Flag, which it knows is associated with bogan ancestors ‘not takin shit from noone’, but little detail beyond that.

This week’s example of bogan mob behaviour occurred in suburban Melbourne. After learning that the “Easternatsburnout session at Calder Park had been cancelled due to a commercial disagreement between organisers, the bogans decided that a franchised store of one of the sponsors (and over 30km from the Easternats site) was the logical place to protest. It was initially peaceful, but a critical mass of discontented bogans was soon assembled in one place. This resulted in windows being smashed in with steel poles, fully sick rims being looted from the store, and the store’s ute getting overturned by a surprisingly collaborative bogan effort.

A newspaper photographer was at the scene, and some bogans took it upon themselves to kick the shit out of him for daring to photograph the mob. The photographer noted that police walked past without helping him up, as did a “Highway Patrol” reality TV camera crew who were deliriously excited to be filming a bogan mob of this size for future broadcast to other bogans.

While Ballarat’s 1854 goldminers were protesting in mob form for the right to vote, the right to purchase land, and for taxation reform, the 2010 bogan was protesting in mob form for the right to have someone else pay to organise a place for it to do sick burnouts and hot laps to coincide with a Christian religious holiday. They truly are kin.


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222 responses

24 03 2010
Andrea

Can’t say I blame the police for not stopping. Had they used any force at all to quell the mob News Ltd would have screamed “POLICE BRUTALITY!!!” headlines for weeks.

24 03 2010
Sten

Funny… “News” never screams about Police Brutality when it comes to breaking up protests about legitimate issues… such as wars we don’t need and shouldn’t be involved in, and suchlike…

25 03 2010
Sam

It is a bit less risky for the cops to rough up some peace loving hippies having a protest than it is for the cops to try and stop a booze/meth fuelled bogan mob riot.

24 03 2010
Chris

i’ve never seen a claim of police brutality in the news except for TT , but it does happen all over victoria.

24 03 2010
Poppy

Why is the bogan in the picture holding his head while kicking the store window? Did he try to headbutt it first?

24 03 2010
j-ho

No, the idiot is trying to ‘disguise’ himself. In the digital age, it astounds me when people think they can escape detection at an event like this….

24 03 2010
James Hunter

Poppy,
What you see is a sign of enjoyment.He is actually slapping his forhead with his palm.Whack whack whack. Oh Oh Oh that feels so good.

24 03 2010
Loretta

hysterical!
bravo james.

24 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Now that is funny guys!!!
A nice belly laugh in the morning.
Thanks.

24 03 2010
Loretta

Surely you mean LOL Edna?!

24 03 2010
Poppy

Nice…and just as likely

24 03 2010
Kate

Ironic facepalm I would say.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Perhaps it was all he could do to prevent himself from glassing himself?

24 03 2010
Bogue

Could it have been a ‘eh Brendan, slap your forehead and try to kick at the same farkin’ time…go on’ challenge of sorts?

26 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Now that is hilarious Bogue.

….and that is all I have to say!

24 03 2010
BogansBegone

“Why is the bogan in the picture holding his head while kicking the store window? Did he try to headbutt it first?”

Poppy , the correct pronoun is IT , not “he” 🙂

13 05 2010
Anakin

I think what can be seen here is the rare but often effective ‘Face Five’. The bogan in it’s simplest form revels in praise from a job well done, even more so when it comes to breaking shit or being maxxxtreme. In the event that there is no other bogan within arms reach to celebrate this joyous occasion with a ‘high five’, the bogan will do the next most illogical thing and proceed to give itself a high five to the facial region, thus keeping with the bogan norm of ‘doin’ dumb shit’.

24 03 2010
Tubesteak

Far too many people think that if enough people think the same thing then it must be right.

Religion
Earth being flat
“Curvy models” = hot
Kevin Rudd is a robot built by the Milky Bar Kid

24 03 2010
Gorey

Kevin Rudd IS the Milky Bar Kid.

24 03 2010
Benjamin

Oh THATS what I remember him from.

I thought he looked familiar. It’s been bugging me for ages.

Thanks!

24 03 2010
Gavin

or a less practical TinTin

24 03 2010
Goose

Don’t forget an ineffective Mr Sheen.

24 03 2010
Antosha

The professor from the Muppet laboratory.

Peter Garret is Beaker.

24 03 2010
Gorey

I suggest a complete entry on the bogan view of the Eureka Stockade, considering how well the ANZAC one went. Besides, it goes with their tattoos.

24 03 2010
Jason

Would the bogan even know about the Eureka Stockade?

I thought their knowledge of that period didn’t extend past some fleeting knowledge of Ned Kelly gleaned from a mini-series (the bogan source of all historical fact)…hell, the more edumacated amongst them are even able to proudly quote his alleged last words, thanks to a certain bogan icon’s ludicrous tattoo.

24 03 2010
Shirley M

On contemplating the possible outcomes of the bogan collective unconscious, I am just a bit terrified.

24 03 2010
S

Me too Shirley M. And we’re facing Anthony Burgess’ question: what’s better, government control or complete freedom?

24 03 2010
Simon

Further along this line perhaps the Clockwork Orange therapy could be used on bogans. Make them viddy all the shit they love until repulsion is felt and they are cured alright. (apolologies to Stanley Kubrick)

24 03 2010
Bogue

Replace Ludwig Van with Kings of Leon’s ‘Sex on Fire’, and repeat on loop with a viddy of misdirected Bob Jane ultra voilent until their glazzies explode.

24 03 2010
Simon

And pour Mother on their Glazzies. Also Kyle Sandilands should do the voice over.

24 03 2010
S

Excellent suggestion. Shlaga the gloopy bastards in the sharries first though.

24 03 2010
Loretta

niiiiice!
readers.
my excuse for reading it after the fillum is that I was a mere zygote when it was first published.

no quotes.
brainfart.
It does lead me on to remembering reading trainspotting though… Similar (and equally rewarding) task.

24 03 2010
Shirley M

I urge you all to read more of Mr Burgess’s books.

Do it.

24 03 2010
Loretta

I intend to shirley.
there was a spray in the front of the copy ( of “orange”) I (recently) purchased about the breadth and depth of his work as novelist and essayist. I had no idea. Apparently he is/was (?) dismayed that he was only widely known for that one work. I dont think he recieved a great deal by way of royalties for the Kubrik work either from memory. A damned shame. Also that I couldn’t read the book and imagine Alex as anything other than McDowell. Despite him being described as physically quite different. Or am I thinking of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest?

anyway….

24 03 2010
Loretta

Oh
and I will commend to you the works of Mr Welsh!

24 03 2010
Loretta

ADD again.
compells me to wander in here and drop whatever falls out of my brain.

24 03 2010
Shirley M

I’ve read all of the Welsh books but Glue.

I think you were thinking of Cuckoo’s Nest. Alex is pretty much spot on.

25 03 2010
James

I thought Glue was his weakest work.

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It really should’ve been super… 😐

25 03 2010
Shirley M

Ha! What a fantastically lame joke. 🙂

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. One does one’s best. 🙂

24 03 2010
Simon

Do read him Loretta, huge variety of stuff he has done including social commentary, a very intelligent author.

24 03 2010
Loretta

the glowing commendation of two for whom I hold the highest respect and regard compells me!!!

24 03 2010
loftie

I loved hearing about this riot… the logic of the whole operation smelt like bogan from the outset…

Easternats was at Sandown previously… then was going to be moved to Calder Park (western suburbs)… Bob Jane lives just across the tracks from Calder Park, but obviously that was too far for the mob to drive to protest…
So they picked a seemingly innocent franchisee who had nothing to do with the whole event…

But, in fairness… the building does say ‘Bob Jane’ and does have his face on it… So logically he must be in the buidling – right?

Ignorant and illogical… Bogan traits 100%

24 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Yeah Loftie, I agree with you.
This smelt like the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles.
Mobs turning on their own neighbourhoods instead of taking it to the source.

24 03 2010
brad

the Princess Highway in that area is an infamous spot where bogans and wogans do battle in a high octane frenzy of fuel injected,rubber burning chaos.Also known as the Dandy Drags.

24 03 2010
Shirley M

I hope Bob Jane stops offering 12 month interest free tyres and sick rims in order to hit the perpetrators where it hurts.

24 03 2010
Benjamin

And destroy their livelihood?

24 03 2010
Loretta

ibid prev comment to James Shirl!

24 03 2010
James Hunter

Shirley M,
that would only work for a short time. Straight a way (sic) Hardley Normal and Mainly Joyce would be selling tyres and batteries. “have them fitted while putting a squillion dollars of furniture on tick”
same payment deal nothing to pay till 2004.
Before which the crappy tyres and batteries would neeed replacing.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes, I dread to think of what bogans will be like in 2004.

24 03 2010
reparty

When will Chrisco start selling rims? Get some fuckin’ sweet 20’s bro.

24 03 2010
loftie

20s??
Bro they not even fully sick enough anymore…

We talking 22s these days…

24 03 2010
Loretta

with rubber bands for shoes!

24 03 2010
reparty

Loftie, well pointed out. 20’s are going the way of spinners. I asked a girl I worked with if her boyfriend had put 20’s on his car, and got ‘Fuck no, 22’s. Fuckin’ sweet as’

24 03 2010
freud's beard

i have no idea what you’re talking about

24 03 2010
Bogue

Slammed to the weeds?

24 03 2010
freud's beard

huh? Should I know what you’re talking about?

24 03 2010
Bogue

You don’t roll?

24 03 2010
freud's beard

clearly not, my friend. As long as my tyres are round, inflated, have enough tread, and are the correct size for my vehicle, I am not overly concerned with them.

The bogan is certain that the correct rim size for your vehicle is no less than 22 inches. TBL

24 03 2010
Simon

I’ll bet you have not upsized your exhaust system either Freud.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Anything less than the diameter of a large Milo tin is unacceptable, not to mention un-Australian.

24 03 2010
freud's beard

no, not even that! How unbogan of me

24 03 2010
toony

…and soon enough the bogue will want the Whistle Tip 😉

haha

24 03 2010
Simon

Un ostraian Freud Un ostraian. Unless your 2 litre shitbox emits 130db you are letting the side down.

24 03 2010
freud's beard

i think I’ll have to be glassed

24 03 2010
reparty

In response to your comment a bit further down Simon, only milk and juice come in 2 litres. Mate.

24 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

the little cherubs used social media to set up the “demo”

the rioters certainly understand how to create a good impression

but seriously, there is a real need to get these guys off the streets and onto a track somewhere, then test the cars for roadworthiness, their brains for intelligence and pockets for drugs – be a windfall for the police and state treasury

24 03 2010
Loretta

Again. Delicious!
have been quivering with anticipation awaiting this post and again you have not disappointed.
I used to rely solely on Media Watch for my news.
I now also depend heavily on you folk.

24 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Thank you TBL for another great entry.
Social bogan commentary at its best.

24 03 2010
Sten

Nice work, TBL, almost as much fun as reading about the Casula Riot of 1916. Also loved your coining of the word “Maxtreme”. It sums up the whole Bogan Experience so succinctly.

24 03 2010
Juansito

Is it me or are bogans playing out post entries for TBL by the week. Just this week two massive bogan behaviours were played out and written about on this blog.

TBL writters must glee when they wake up each morning too only find new protagonist that really write themselves into the script.

24 03 2010
devil's advocate

No reference to cronulla?

24 03 2010
Whistling Nixie

Or Macquarie Fields, shortly thereafter?

24 03 2010
James Hunter

what about Redfern?

24 03 2010
Tubesteak

I don’t think the Redfern riots were bogan. MF and Cronulla definitely bogan

24 03 2010
Poppy

This seemed more of an example of what happens when bogans who grew here and bogans who flew here come together to fight a common foe that is Bob Jane. Makes me believe in future harmony…brings a tear to the eye…

24 03 2010
reparty

Multiculturalism at its finest. Can hear that annoying “I Am, You Are” song playing in the background when the footage is shown in slow motion. Now that’s a tourism promo.

24 03 2010
Robbie

oh TBL…you always hit the right spot with your perfectly delivered prose.
This riot was BOGAN to the XXXXXX-treme!!!!!!!!!!
I hope a cunt or 2 are glassed over this 😛

24 03 2010
Teaser

I would have thought that these guys are more your traditional bogans, which TBL likes to shy away from?

Easternats is a traditional bogan event, but joining a violent blameless mob and being xtreme is something that appeals to bogans of all stripes. The odds are good that a significant portion of the mob had no intention of attending Easternats, but just wanted to experience the dizzying thrill of throwing a 22 inch rim through a large sheet of glass. TBL

24 03 2010
Teaser

To be fair that would be quite awesome.

24 03 2010
Pete

Best comment today!

24 03 2010
hel

yes, I am loath to admit TBL, but that would probably be fuckin’ sic

24 03 2010
Bogue

Definately not, the CuB inhabiting a house several doors away from mine loves to indulge in a burnout-fest of any discription, whether it be driving his Corvette convertible around the block at high speed, taking his ‘Chevrolet’ Statesman for a long Friday night cruise (possibly to Jetty Road, Glenelg), or maybe even joining ‘da missus’ for a Sunday afternoon road rage in her Monaro (when they’re not abusing their children or fighting in the street). No matter how cashed up, the bogan loves a big V8 and associated vapourised rubber.

24 03 2010
DP

I think it was more a case of throwing a chair liberated from next door’s KFC to get at 22-inch rim.

In a video of the incident that was on a news site yesterday, a rim was thrown through another window to break it. But we digress… TBL

24 03 2010
Sten

i’d say coppers are bogans too. lots of free maccas, can’t use a firearm for shit, and drive around in Bombadores and falcons. clear as day.

24 03 2010
Sten

Eh? Who’s impersonating me?

24 03 2010
Simon

Sten, you have a doppelganger. How cool.

24 03 2010
Sten

A clone or a twin would be nicer. That way, he could go and do all the work while I get to sleep in every day, comment more often on TBL and get paid for it.

24 03 2010
loftie

You know you’ve made it now in the world Sten… 🙂

24 03 2010
Sten

Great! All I need now is five million dollars, an attractive brunette and a house in the country.

24 03 2010
loftie

Fiona?

24 03 2010
Sten

Alas, loftie, way out my league.

24 03 2010
loftie

and it appears mine too….

*sigh* 😦

24 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. True. And I’m blonde.

24 03 2010
hel

No Sten, you need Max Markson.

24 03 2010
Sten

Ah, but hel, as I am not a Bogan (well, I admit to a few Bogan tendencies, but I think they make up a smaller portion of my being), I’m not sure Max would be of any use to me…except possibly as sustenance if I find myself stranded on a desert island with him.

Or unless you’re talking about The Other Sten, who knows?

24 03 2010
Simon

Sten, probably more to the point is you are no use to Maxxx (unless Fev has a photo of you too).

24 03 2010
Sten

Dear God, no! Not even if I subsequently got to sue him for a million dollars!

24 03 2010
Sten

I’d be inclined to agree with Other Sten. There is much in the life of a policeman which would appeal to the Bogan… the gun, the right to be intimidating or outright violent on a regular basis, the exxxtremely fast driving, the fast food, and of course, the double-think which come with being an upholder of the law, while often being involved in some very shady doings.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Police = bogans that were bullied at school by more highly developed alpha bogans. Now lets see who was too short, eh, eh?

24 03 2010
Gavin

Police = the new age bogan guys who failed uni several times because they spent too much time getting huge

24 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Security guard= either too fat, old or stupid to be a police officer.

24 03 2010
pinky has a brain

Great post TBL!! I love you guys more each day…and as always the comments section is just as good!!!

24 03 2010
berihebi

So bogan to target a franchisee in the belief that they’re striking at the heart of corporate evil.

24 03 2010
freud's beard

I doubt they even thought about it that much berihebi, you’re giving them far too much credit. No burnouts? who sells tyres? bob jane – get him.

24 03 2010
Bogue

I would have thought Bob Jane was as bogan as anyone. He certainly doesn’t mind a public domestic. However, it’s bogan eat bogan out there though, and should a once famous bogan forget his place, mass bogan fury will self-righteously rein down upon them, regardless of their former stature.

24 03 2010
freud's beard

bogan’s do live in the moment. Otherwise they would have recognised the irony of destroying a place that sells tyres because they couldn’t watch bogans in cars destroying tyres purchased from said tyre establishment

24 03 2010
loftie

I think they were more struck by the building that had Bob Janes face pasted on it…

The riot was caused because Bob Jane pulled support…

Logically, trashing the first building with Bob jane written on it makes sense…

24 03 2010
Bogue

Luckily Bob & Jane’s Doll House Supplies was spared any retribution.

24 03 2010
freud's beard

that is so funny. Perhaps these bogans did not have ADHD, so while impulsive and ‘collectively unconscious’, still managed to be ‘goal focused’ – or perhaps they are still taking their dexties.

24 03 2010
Benjamin

I remember that case in the US (an urban myth perhaps) that a vigilante group of “save the children” types attacking a paediatrician by mistake.

…googles…

Actually in the UK, and harassment only. Still amazingly stupid:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/901723.stm

24 03 2010
Nelson Esq

I agree with you Fraud. The funny thing is, Bob Jane will have the last laugh, because when the bogans have worn out their rear tyres from illegal drag racing up and down Dandenong Road, they will end up back at Bob’s for another set!

24 03 2010
CoffeeSnob

The police have had a few issues in tracking down perpetrators due to the very large prevalence of Southern Cross tattoos.

24 03 2010
Nelson Esq

I always laugh at bogans who cover their faces when committing crimes, thinking that they won’t be able to be identified by witnesses or security cameras, but subsequently get arrested because they’ve been clearly identified by the tattoos they left exposed!

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

And with each sleeve tattoo as unique as a fingerprint, they’re doing everyone a favour.

Does anyone ever wonder if people in left hand drive countries get their one arm sleeve tattoo on the left? It’s all right armed here – otherwise no one would see it when you’re hanging it out the open window when driving your Chevrodore with the aircon on, Ministry of Sound CD blaring, calling everyone cunts.

24 03 2010
j-ho

Full sleeve tatts in one sitting are very very vogue bogan. The codfish, and other japanese traditional styles are the bogans tattoos of choice this year. Just look at the afl…

24 03 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

“maxtreme” – lol

24 03 2010
Tanka

“Collective unconsciousness”…….hmmmmm

“We are the Borgan. Resistance is futile”

24 03 2010
Sten

“You will be assi… assimi… ah, fuck it, you will be one of us”

24 03 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

I am finding it tougher to enjoy these posts each morning. Not due to any lack of quality however.

These entries need to be retitled “Things Wrong with Australian Society”.

The “Road Rage” entry made me shake my head so much I got motion sickness.

I didnt even read the news report about this Bob Jane incident because it would have depressed me too much. Australia – we gotta do better!

24 03 2010
Gorey

Yep, your comment rings true, sadly.

24 03 2010
brad

you’re obviously a sensitive soul bttow,perhaps you should build a shack in the mountains and befriend a Grizzly Bear

24 03 2010
Tee-Agra

The reality TV crew will send there footage to Nat Geo Channel and have David Attenborough be the narrator…the bogan version of the wildebeest migration across the Okavango Delta

24 03 2010
Sten

Wouldn’t that be the annual pilgrimmage to The Mountain? One of my friends lives in Bathurst and loves it, but makes the October Long Weekend sound more like the Mongol Invasions.

24 03 2010
Bogue

I’d say the Summer boganic migration across the Mallee Plains to the home of the Clipsal 500 would eclipse them all.

24 03 2010
DP

As the native rednecks pick off the weaker bogans in the herd as they pass.

Actually a pack of bogans migrating across to the Clipsal would be much like a spawning ritual once they hit Adelaide. And the little ones migrate back across the plains a couple of decades later to seek their heritage.

24 03 2010
Sten

Seeking their heritage? You mean finding out who their fathers are?

24 03 2010
loftie

Bogue – Bathurst is still king…

Any event that has an official ‘2 slab per day’ limit, must be given title as the king of bogan events…

Nothing comes close to Bathurst… not by a long shot…

24 03 2010
Bogue

Not for a CuB, who could spend the same money required to buy 2 slabs of beer, on their nighly rounds at the Stag Hotel. Bathurst is for those battlers who love to slum it, whereas Clipsal is a week-long exercise in bogan oneupmanship of the highest order.

To begin with, where’s Bathurst’s 3 days of bogan rock concerts (one Hip-Hop, one Country, one ‘ol skool’ rock)? Clipsal all but shuts down the CBD of a city of 1.2 million people, flooding the entire 500sqm area with the most highly concentrated mass of bogans outside of Geelong. As many are imported, they have nothing to lose by being as drunken, violent and self-righteous as humanly possible, which make the whole event such a pleasure to those who live here. I’m sure Bathurst’s 2-3 residents would feel the same.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Mind you, I’m certainly not volunteering to head a research field trip. 5 years of my band performing at the Adelaide Grand Prix left me scarred enough.

24 03 2010
Simon

I have not been to Bathurst but it is hard to imagine anything more bogan than clipsal this side of the Collingwood Cheer Squad.

24 03 2010
Tee-Agra

How about the SummerNats in Canberra, any rugby league match,

24 03 2010
Bogue

Less people attend an NRL match than participate in the Collingwood Cheersquad – no contest. 😛

25 03 2010
James

We live near the venue for Summernats, and our local shopping centre is bogan central for that week each year. You will never see so many four year old boys with rat-tails again, anywhere.

25 03 2010
AlyssaKT

And the front mullet/back mullet combo (shaved in between) – those boys are almost always accompanied by a mullet-sporting father.
I don’t think many single mothers cut their boys hair that way – it’s usually father influenced. So they choose the father they liked best’s hairstyle.

25 03 2010
James

Wouldn’t all their fathers have sported mullets? Perhaps at four they might not consciously remember their original father, or the next two, but such a shocking hairstyle must make some kind of psychological impact.

25 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes, true, James. It leaves them believing that this is a stylish choice. Stick it to the man and his short back and sides bullshit. Haha.
I put them in the same category as I’ve always put ‘homey pants” (pants worn baggy below bums of “wiggers”) and more recently, Ed Hardy shirts; they help you to spot a dick head 50 metres away. And that has to be a good thing.

25 03 2010
James

I do the same thing. In some ways I know it is terrible, prejudging a person based on hair/clothes/how many times they say fucken to their children in each sentence, but I bet most of us would do the same thing.

24 03 2010
reparty

Try working on Hindley Street during the Grand Prix. Actually, try putting up with my dad complaining about the destruction to the Parklands, any other newspaper but the ‘Tiser would have got a very direct letter to the editor. You should hear him talk about the Clipsal 500.

24 03 2010
loftie

All valid points Bogue – but you did choose to live in Adelaide…

A questionable decision in the first place…

24 03 2010
DP

5 years of covering men at work, jimmy barnes, john farnam et al would break anybody’s spirit.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Oh, this was back in the mid-1990’s, when original bands had followings, we were young and could offset the boganity with our own crowd. However, it’d did not stop the bogans from screaming for such horrors as described above. Rather, it was mixing with them during load in and after the performance that was disheartening.

Remember, this was the GP, and whilst the cashed up bogan existed, their numbers were sufficiently less as to not affect the feel of the carnival.

24 03 2010
Antosha

Are you from Superjesus Bogue?

24 03 2010
Loretta

mark of cain?

24 03 2010
Simon

Mark of Cain, now there was a band, I saw them support Vspy Vspy late 80’s, what a great show.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Argh! Superjesus!?! No. I was in a band called Goofy Footer at the time…similar market, not quite as popular.

25 03 2010
Simon

That was a bit insulting Antosha.

24 03 2010
Bogue

True, I have had my opportunities to relocate, after being ensconsed here by my parents, studies and subsequent lengthy unemployment. However, I’m more than happy with the locale at the moment, although my partner and I would run out the door at the first opportunity to relocate to Paris!

24 03 2010
DP

What’s the French term for bogan, I wonder? I’m sure they have them as well.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

grossier?
rustre?
peu raffiné?

24 03 2010
Simon

Actually if you use one of the translator programmes the French translation for Bogan is

Bogan.

So it seems a bogan is always bogan, no matter where you are.

24 03 2010
Loretta

mec.

innit?

24 03 2010
Loretta

Not to mention all the “pooftas” in the eastern suburbs who are severely inconvenienced trying to get to work for a month.
The bogues must find that a delicious irony.

if they had any idea what irony was.

24 03 2010
brad

hmmm hmmm south eastern suburbs that is

25 03 2010
Simon

Oi, I live in the Eastern suburbs.

24 03 2010
Benjamin

Another Bathurst resident here (formerly of Sydney) and another that loves it.

I also enjoy the race. Having been round the track a few times I marvel at the folks that design and build machines that can take that kind of punishment, and the skill of those that drive them around this frankly treacherous track at speed. Heck, it’s almost a 200 meter drop from top to bottom and the descent through the essess (sic?) is diabolical and pretty much blind in places.

Providing you stick to the lower parts of the track on the day, you can enjoy yourself and have a quiet drink or two without any fuss or bother. The obnoxious bogans folk tend to populate the top. I don’t follow the V8s, but I make an exception for this race.

For the race, my observation has been that almost all the bogans are imported from Sydney and Melbourne. Many locals flee during that weekend, and I hear that some rent their houses out for a pretty penny to CUBs (dangerous – I wouldn’t do it).

I think it is less bogan here than most folks assume. An example – at the playgroup my kids attend, there are no bogan names – none!

There are however a *lot* of V8s driven by adults with P plates…

24 03 2010
urbanreverie

Agree Benjamin, Bathurst is one of the least bogan regional centres in Australia. A large university campus plus oodles of government offices ( make the town more progressive and cultivated than its size (~30,000 people) and location would suggest.

Orange down the road, on the other hand …

24 03 2010
DP

“..design and build machines that can take that kind of punishment…” Didn’t a Nissan win one year and the mob went postal. Only Holdens and Fords can do the circuit now, otherwise the CUB would realize that for the price of an SS Commodore he/she could purchase a real performance vehicle.

24 03 2010
Bogue

Yes indeed, subsequent inihilation of the domestic product by imports led to their banning to ‘even up the competition’, in much the same way that the White Australia Policy evened up the ‘superiority’ of the country’s gene pool.

24 03 2010
Simon

I saw something the other day that said the field was going to be opened up again because everyone is bored to tears at the moment.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes
“The V8 Supercar championship, which has built its success on tribal rivalry between Ford and Holden since 1994, is looking to move away from its blue-collar roots with more overseas racing and more upmarket manufacturers.
“The new rules, which now allow more sophisticated V8 engines, have been drafted to broaden the sponsorship net for the series to compensate for Ford and Holden’s dwindling financial support for the sport. The recent slump in sales of the Ford Falcon and Holden Commodore has seen the two makers pull back from multi-million dollar sponsorship deals. ”
http://theage.drive.com.au/motor-news/germans-to-join-v8-supercars-20100309-pvdm.html

24 03 2010
Simon

Alyssa, all over it girl.

24 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I am the Google Queen.

24 03 2010
Simon

You google girl!

24 03 2010
Bogue

I did enjoy motor racing for a while, but the introduction of V8 only racing was so tedious, I haven’t watched since. Added to that the concept that if local products were not good enough, the most sensible course of action was to ban everything else, had me completely flummoxed.

Of course, the idea of this was to improve sales of the loacl product, but as the future of the local manufacturing industry appears to lay soley in the hands of Toyota and their even more tedious machinery (I can’t quite picture bogan’s bonding with Toyota’s T’u’RD performance brand), there is absolutely no future for domestic V8 racing. I may become interested, as soon as I work out whether to forge an alligance with Lexus or BMW.

24 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. BMW of course. Lexus IS Toyota!

24 03 2010
Bogue

Don’t inform you local GP or that, they may just cease bulk billing you.

24 03 2010
Ryu

Oh come off it, Lexus is the Japanese Mercedes!

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Uh, Lexus IS actually a Toyota brand. Surely you lesser people should know more about this than I do!

25 03 2010
loftie

Lexus… for the un-educated… was invented by Toyota, and is derived from
Luxury Export to USA…

I’d prefer the BMW too Fiona…
which model(s) do you prefer?

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. None. I don’t care for BMW’s. Too common.

25 03 2010
loftie

So what is your ‘weapon of choice’ in that case Fiona???

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I won’t answer that specifically, but I prefer Italian cars. Of the expensive variety. Well, expensive to you perhaps.

25 03 2010
loftie

Cars aren’t expensive to me Fiona… I live and breathe them…

Italian and expensive…

Maserati, Ferrari, Pagani…

They’re all relatively cheap compared to my weekender… 🙂

(now i’m bragging)

25 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Oooh, do tell then!

24 03 2010
Jason

I just noticed this:

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/sport/stratco-swoops-in-as-newest-v8-sponsor/story-e6frecj3-1225844776909

This company is well renowned for their adverts featuring scantily-clad bogues and femme-bogues discussing how a new verandah has added significant value to their McMansion.

24 03 2010
devil's advocate

They nissan skyline variants (culminating in the r32 GTR) didn’t win *one* year…

24 03 2010
Benjamin

Yep, the Skylines won a number of times, before they were banned.

They won of course because they were better.

The current ford v holden stuff was almost certainly just a ploy to attract more bogans (and damn me if it didn’t work).

It did seem to me to result in a more competitive but slower race where reliability, driver skill, and heck, even dumb luck became more of a factor.

I’m still amazed that cars can take that kind of punishment, even if an imported car did it better back in the day.

24 03 2010
hel

I did not hear about this mob-o-bogues. Maybe we were too busy reporting about our bad storm that has been deemed a natural disaster by our state govt, done only in an attempt to sensationalise media and make our state appear less stale and pointless, HOWEVER, I digress. They really trashed a tyre shop because a burn out contest got cancelled?? A burnout contest over EASTER? I have never been so proud to be Australian. At least you could get some good slogans “Burn your buns this Easter” “Resurrect your manhood with some rubber” “Christ died for your sins, now burn some sins of your own”.

24 03 2010
devil's advocate

Dear TBL

In addition to an entry about cronulla beach, could we please have an entry about macquaries fields, and how it paints a picture of what kellyville will be like in 10 years time. Thanks.

24 03 2010
dibbz

Amazed no female bogans were there with their digital slr cameras!

24 03 2010
Simon

A HUGE Ed Hardy Bogan for you all. Enjoy!

24 03 2010
Benjamin

Or a really small woman…

24 03 2010
Shirley M

A really small SLUT, Benjamin. Gosh.

24 03 2010
Awesomerickee

THE guidoness of this picture reminds me of that MTV show Jersey Shore… opinions??

24 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Poor Snookie. 😦

24 03 2010
Simon

Me thinks the dudes would rather her not be there.

24 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Wait until episode 3…

24 03 2010
Simon

Brokeback Shore, coming to MTV soon, sometimes it takes a man to care.

24 03 2010
toony

That is a horrible image…..I keep picturing them ‘swordfighting’….

On Ed Hardy, I saw an ad for EH Vodka (5x filtered and only $70 a bottle).

What about EH tampons? Surely we’ll see an Ed Hardy condom one day?
The mind boggles…

24 03 2010
Simon

Sorry Toony, did not mean to disturb you. I’m sure they will be into the sanitary market soon.

Ed Hardy Tampons – Xtreme protection where you need it most.

24 03 2010
toony

It’s ok Simon…it’s the resulting imagery….

I found some Ed Hardy vodka for you tho’

24 03 2010
Simon

Thanks Toony!

24 03 2010
toony

Thanks Simon. Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I have been releasing/purging a memory…I think I may have been molested on the set of ‘Hey Dad’.

I feel dirty, and it’s got nothing to do with my failed acting career.

24 03 2010
Awesomerickee

come to think about it, MTV-esque reality TV should be on here,
ie The Hills, Jersey Shore

as opposed to aforeblogged Reality gameshow type shows i mean

24 03 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Jersey Shore for sure!

24 03 2010
brad

maybe you should have a “home girl’ shot of yourself in the shower tooney im sure the $200 may ease your pain

24 03 2010
hel

It didn’t work for Lara Bingle……

24 03 2010
Benjamin

I stand corrected.

24 03 2010
sten mkII

changed. was unaware of other stens here already.

24 03 2010
Valo

I wonder how much NaB’s would enjoy being part of mobs if they knew that it is the term that Indigenous Australians use when referring to one another. Because as we all know, bogues are very much in tune with indigenous affairs…

25 03 2010
Will S

The bogan hates Aboriginal Australians even more than other non-anglos, because they’re deeply insecure about not really being the “first Australians”.

24 03 2010
Kondor Man

did you see the first bogan who “bravely” handed himself in to police after his face was plastered across media? Talk about ticking all the boxes!!!

1. lives in crap suburb – tick, narre Warren
2. tatts – tick
3. facial piercing – tick
4. scrawny -tick
5. basball cap -tick
6. unmarried “partner” – tick

PS check out Adrew Bolt’s story on mum of girl who blames cops for the crash – can’t stand him, but Bolty has captured what we all think about bogans beautifully

24 03 2010
brad

bolta is aways on the money matey

24 03 2010
Bogue

I’m not a Bolt fan, but that article was right on the money.

25 03 2010
Ironhalo

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/blame-game-is-a-cop-out/story-e6frfhqf-1225844471299

It’s like poetry.

Favourite part:
‘How mad it is, that the Federal Government pays even criminals, addicts and assorted ferals to reproduce, $5000 a baby, rather than pay only to have their offspring at least made fit for society.

What a world we are literally creating. Two centuries ago in Britain, the rich outbred the poor, and pushed their values down the social scale. Now the poor – many virtuous, yes, but others lazy, careless or unsocialised – outbreed the rich, and the mob’s values are pushed up.

Am I too pessimistic? Too damning and arrogant, even in this week when 2000 fools can block a highway near my home, loot a Bob Jane shop, hoot the police and bash a photographer just because they didn’t get to see some dragsters?

If so, forgive me, because one final detail of Saturday’s smash sealed the grim deal for me. Guess who Williams killed on Saturday, scything through their car at 200km/h?

Friends of his, actually, both with criminal records themselves for offences involving drugs, and with eight children from previous relationships.’

25 03 2010
hel

this article is one of the greatest thing have ever read. Am I imagining things or does the grieving mothers t-shirt say “A penny for your thoughts a dollar if you flash”. Class transcends even the grief that comes when your delinquent spawn fuck up royally.

26 03 2010
Tombarina

Hel, I, too, saw that t-shirt message and thought I’d either gone quite mad, or developed sudden-onset and highly selective dyslexia. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone.

It did, however, spark a serious ‘if the worst happens’ talk within my family – it’s now agreed that if one of us is wiped out under pathetically bogan circumstances, the others are to immediately pop out for some ink, piercings, weed and tooth removal, and to refuse to front the cameras until everyone’s wearing cheap tops with bawdy-jokey slogans, and surrounded by a swarm of unfortunately-named junior progeny of doubtful paternal lineage.

26 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I’ll be sure to bring the Jim Beam to leave at the roadside as a mark of my respect. Because I really understood you, ya kna?

26 03 2010
Tombarina

Mate, it was them @*$@in’ dog coppers, ya know? It’s them wot &@*$in’ kill innocent (%#&in’ people, hey.

AKT, I’m touched at your addition of Jim Beam to the roadside shrine. I see you, and I raise you a packet of Winnie Reds and a gift voucher to TattsAhoy.

27 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I see those tokens, and I raise you a novelty balloon that says “outrace the pigs or die!”

27 03 2010
Tombarina

Damn, you’re good. I got nuffin. Although I MAY just sign us both up to a Facebook group learnedly extolling the virtues of drag racing in built-up suburban areas.

27 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps you’ll find this little exchange amusing: http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/9/9e/Angryautisticmother.jpg

It appeared on the fb memorial page for the dear departed.

27 03 2010
Tombarina

Oh, sweet baby Jesus on a bicycle – “You have 42 children?”. Champagne comedy indeed – thank you!

I do love how, when verbally cornered (which is both often and thoroughly), the bogan pulls out Ol’ Faithful – ie, “garn git $*%^ed ya *@%&in ^#*^er”. Such linguistic dexterity certainly reduces ME to tears of incoherent envy.

27 03 2010
chubbybloodfart

ok people this has gone seriously ACA.
this… is old school bogan.
In the style of El Bolt…

I blame the fucked up “sell it to the lowest bidder, do you have a bigger boat, (I so miss italics in here), appeal to the lowest common denomnator, cut it down, dig it up, put it in plastic, free fucking market” imitation of a genuine civilization we have.
previous civilizations built temples and we built shopping malls (this quote requires attribution)
high school socialism sure.
but the whole society has to own this.
we let it happen. these apparently chromosomally challenged poor things didn’t know better.
and that’s andrew fucking bolt’s fault. He’s just another fucking brand and he is going to say whatever is going to get people muttering around the water cooler or ute. and buying newspapers which exist to sell advertising space, not provide quality information. pandering to all the middle class bogues we say we despise by telling them how much better they are than this shit. and they lap it up every day with their moccona.
that’s the fucked up thing this whole fucking circus depends on these poor idiots being (italics) shit.
How many security doors were sold on the back of this?

and fuck!

26 03 2010
Laura

Dealt with a bogan mob myself today. Was mortified before my two American visitors while out at bogan hotspot, Epping Plaza, doing grocery shopping. A mob – there’s no other way to put it – of alphabogue-teens shoved by us in their haste to “jump” the “dirty Lebs” who were apparently out the front of the Hungry Jacks. They literally knocked my overseas guest to the floor. Nary an apology, but of course, the obligatory deluge of filth sluicing from their gutter mouths. UGH. It was shameful.

26 03 2010
Tombarina

How embarrassment.

You should have tasered them. The ferals, that is – not the Americans….

26 03 2010
Laura

Keep up the prolific posting, TBL!! I neeeeed you guys, living where I do. 😦 Keeps me sane!

15 10 2012
Lewis

I thought bogan was a New Zealand word, good to hear you call them that in the USA 🙂

17 10 2012
Alyssa KT

This is NOT the USA

26 02 2015
dougy

I know why they are rioting. That stupid Abbott didn’t do what Kevin 07 did when he was elected. If only the ‘mad monk’ had borrowed a couple of billion dollars from overseas to give 900 bucks to each bogan as a ‘gift’ upon beginning his term. If only. Now the poor bogans have been forced to riot, in order to show The Man how they disapprove of this situation. Can’t you see? Look what you made them do, Tony! :p

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