#103 – Max Markson

11 03 2010

Despite his X-enabled name and vast bogan-derived riches, Max Markson remains a mysterious figure to bogans. Primarily famous for being near other famous people, Markson differs from pointless entity Richard Wilkins because he is an evil genius. Wilkins, on the other hand, is believed to be some form of carcinogenic polymer that derives sustenance from nutrients found in red coloured carpet, and the shiny leather cladding Max Markson’s feet.

Markson is a “talent agent” and publicist who is notable for exploiting other peoples’ mediocre fame, and he specialises in trying to grind out 15 and a half minutes of fame for bogans such as Tania Zaetta (military sex scandal), Pauline Hanson (political sex scandal), and Susie Maroney (criminal sex scandal). At the time of writing, the headline on his website (http://www.marksonsparks.com.au) is “Lara Bingle signs with Markson Sparks!”, while the second news item is “Ed Hardy joins Markson Sparks!”. Within a week of Bingle signing with his agency, there happened to be a front page sports sex scandal involving Bingle. His hypnotic control over the bogan’s media needs is just that strong.

But there’s STILL more. Tim Shaw from Demtel is a Markson client, as is Catriona Rowntree, (and now here’s…) Moira, a Daddo, and the entire cast of the 2008 series of The Biggest Loser. Markson defies every medical and financial principle to keep these careers alive. It is not known whether he uses black magic, an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys, or incomprehensibly large bribes funded by corruption in war-torn Third World nations.

Markson is on the record as saying “I can make anyone a star”, which is immensely reassuring to bogans, who want very badly to be stars. The bogan seems to have decided that its chances of becoming a Markson-conjured celebrity are immeasurably increased by rabidly consuming whatever antimatter bilge that Markson Sparks is pumping into magazines at the time. It is almost certain that a sex scandal involving both Lara Bingle and Christian Audigier will occur in the next three minutes. 


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195 responses

11 03 2010
Captain Fancypants from CDU

But can he turn our bands career and fame around?

11 03 2010
SM Adelaide

Depends. Are you willing to replace every single band member with an attractive ed hardy clad blonde?

12 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not even Max Markson could turn your band around, @CaptainfromCDU.

11 03 2010
FT

“It is not known whether he uses black magic, an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys, or incomprehensibly large bribes funded by corruption in war-torn Third World nations”…

Absolute Gold. Thank you, TBL, thankyou. 🙂

11 03 2010
Benjamin

Seconded. You folks are not losing your touch!

As always, thanks very much for the laughs guys.

11 03 2010
Loftie

Tim Shaw from Demtel – he is still alive??

11 03 2010
Mezz

You can bet that if Big Kev was still around he would be a Marxxon client too..

Nice TBL – Nail on the head once more.

14 03 2010
BogansBegone

Oh , you heard the rumour he had been burnt at the steak-knife ?

11 03 2010
Shirley M

I can’t believe you didn’t mention that Naomi Robson was on his books. And what’s with the pictures of political figures on his website?

11 03 2010
Rana

And the chk chk boom girl – a favourite of bogans everywhere

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

that sure separated the bogans from the wogans!

11 03 2010
Claire

I checked out the company website. The name of the company is not plain old ‘Markson Sparks’ but ‘Markson Sparks!’ The exclamation mark is even part of the registered company name. How very bogue.

11 03 2010
The Trav

! = x-treme

11 03 2010
pominoz

Mmm Marks and Spencers retail outfit in the UK is affectionately know as Marks and Sparks. I am sure they would not like to be associated with such a down market vulture

11 03 2010
Korubell

Is that picture an ad for a men’s apparel store? “We can tailor suits big, bigger and fecking ridiculous”.

11 03 2010
hindustan

“if you’ve got it, flaunt it…”

11 03 2010
Shirley M

If you’ve got what, exactly?

11 03 2010
hindustan

haha…does it matter, really? flaunt it!

11 03 2010
Benjamin

Is this bloke the symptom or the disease?

I can’t tell.

11 03 2010
FT

A little from column A and a little from column B.

11 03 2010
Mezz

He’s the host to the parasite

11 03 2010
Tubesteak

Ask Lara now that the contrived “scandal” has possibly cost her a meal ticket

I doubt even a Mac Banker would bother with her. Surely not even they would be that desperate for arm candy.

Whatever will she do?!?!

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Cue leaked sex tape

11 03 2010
The Trav

“..while the second news item is “Ed Hardy joins Markson Sparks!”, i thought this was a tongue-in-cheek comment until I checked the web-site. Ed-hardy, psedo-celeb’s, and reality tv stars, thats a boges wet dream….

11 03 2010
j-ho

Was he linked with Corey the “party boy”?

11 03 2010
Troy

Yeah and the Chk Chk boom bogan

11 03 2010
JimC

It was pure marketing muscle that allowed her to be dubbed ‘The “Chk Chk Boom” Girl’. Because let’s be honest, she really should have been known as ‘The “Fat Wog/Skinny Wog” Girl’.

But I guess you can’t whore someone out to the New Idea who’s synonymous with racial slurs. Although that was easily the funniest and most memorable part of that whole sorry affair.

11 03 2010
Bogue

She is the “Chk Chk Boom” girl purely because her existance is so pointless, and he speel so banal, that no-one stops to even consider her real name. Damned if I could remember it…the footage made me glaze over and think of any generic bogan nightclub footpath in a capital or regional centre of your choice (try HQ for Adelaide, except that the ‘fat wog’ would actually be a Gypsy Joker, and the shooting real).

11 03 2010
Simon

Bogue, where ya been?

11 03 2010
Bogue

In the gutter, outside HQ, taking notes.

11 03 2010
Simon

You will have much knowledge to impart.

11 03 2010
11 03 2010
Shirley M

1 fucking million dollars. Bwah hah hah hah. He does realise it’s just Lara Bingle, right?

11 03 2010
The Trav

what did the beconsfield miners get???

If i remember corectly, i think she was given a token “tv presenters:” contract with Ch9, but was considered so hopeless she never made it onto tv.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

to hopeless for talking, too short for modelling… too slutty for marrying… best get your kit off

11 03 2010
Bogue

You forgot to mention, possibly the ugliest face ever printed in the history of New Idea. Luckily for her, and coincidently unfortunate for us, Lara has other more attractive assets…erm…I meant her Aston Martin, of course.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT
god, I married, I model and I get my kit off. What am I doing wrong?

Wonder though if maybe John Singleton is realy behind all this for the regular 20% ??

11 03 2010
Deano

Glad you brought singleton up i see on Markson Sparks!
he is host a 60th birthday bash for good old Aussie Joe.
@ $250 per head.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I think he’s brilliant for asking for the million. Would anyone have talked about it if it was a reasonable amount? He’ll probably get it in the end – there’s been so much hype generated, it’ll actually be nearly worth it!

11 03 2010
Benjamin

Wow. Nicely spotted Alyssa.

Fiendishly clever. If it works.

22 03 2010
Mark of Pyrmont

I think everyone realises. Hence the flood of offers.

11 03 2010
Tone

Am I the only one that gets Max Markson and Max Clifford confused? For those not in the know, Max Clifford is basically a Chav version of Max Markson (or Markson a Bogan version of Clifford?).

11 03 2010
Mark

Jade Goody…enough said

11 03 2010
JimC

Ambulance chasing scum. Although to be fair I can’t really fault anyone who can make a living siphoning money out of bogans.

As the classic saying goes ‘A bogan and his money are soon parted’. Or something like that…

11 03 2010
Mark

How did you forget to mention Corey and Claire???

11 03 2010
Sten

Possibly for the simple reason these “people” are utterly forgettable.

11 03 2010
Mezz

Yeah – a bit like his latest signing.. What’s her name again?

11 03 2010
Shirley M

Who’s Claire?

11 03 2010
Mark

Chk-chk boom!

11 03 2010
Sten

An oxygen thief of the first magnitude. She’s the “chk-chk-boom” girl.

11 03 2010
Bogue

Claire…that’s it. What a marvellous ol’ skool bogan name that is.

11 03 2010
FT

“Claire is a fat girl’s name”.

11 03 2010
Andrea

God, I was hoping someone would say that.

11 03 2010
NB

HOT EVENTS!

‘Aussie’ Joe Bugner 60th Birthday Tribute Dinner

…say no more

11 03 2010
Rob

I guess this is the odious creature responsible for the Clarke-Bingle “break up” being covered on the morning news as if it was the Fall of Saigon.

11 03 2010
pb

i’m shocked, rob – are you saying its not? are you saying there is something more important than knowing the relationship status of a non-modelling model and non-playing cricketer? well?

12 03 2010
Rob

Oh how you misunderstand me, pb. There’s something more important, of course there is! The NFL season starts tonight!

13 03 2010
LT

AFL you mean? NFL doesn’t start till August.

15 03 2010
Rob

NRL, I meant. Adapting to a new laptop with a weird keyboard. My apologies.

11 03 2010
Shirley M

Check out the book launch section of big Max’s website. It really is uncanny how tuned in to the bogan market he really is.

11 03 2010
berihebi

Which one in the picture is Markson?

11 03 2010
Shirley M

far right

11 03 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

Just assumed he was the fat dude in the Ed Hardy gear.

Thanks for the education, all.

“You can’t start a fire – you can’t start a fire without a Spark(!) This gun’s for hire, even if it’s for Dancing with the Stars.”

Perhaps he’ll take on Bruce Springsteen as a boutique client. Provided the evil genius has something to work with in his designated area of expertise. Maybe if the Boss finds himself entangled in an X-treme seX scandal with old MTV flame Courtney CoX…

11 03 2010
Shirley M

If I’m not mistaken, the fat guy in the Ed Hardy gear is none other than Mick Gatto.

11 03 2010
brad

i thought it was Simon Westaway

11 03 2010
Loftie

the scary thing about all these ‘nobody’ celebrities, and their over-the-top requests for cash… is that they do sometimes get it… (more often than not)

meaning that the ever-powerful bogan dollar still carries some weight around D-List celebs…

proving that you don’t really need talent, skill, good looks, or infact anything to become a celebrity….

just good marketting…

11 03 2010
Loftie

*spelling… i’m hopeless…
wordpress has no spellcheck – and I’m lazy…

11 03 2010
Benjamin

Some browsers do – I think FireFox might.

Safari on MacOSX here certainly does.

11 03 2010
pinky has a brain

Firefox does…bless it

11 03 2010
Massiveguns

this bloke is a legend amongst men. the ari gold of b grade australian celebrity. i want to be just like him.

23 11 2010
grandinquisitor7

Agreed, MG. This guy is my hero.

11 03 2010
Anthony

I would have my 15 minutes worth just to punch this smug leach of society in the face.

Each time his name is mentioned the rage within is quite disturbing. Let’s adopt a slap Max Markson day; I’m sure he would love the publicity.

11 03 2010
Mezz

Marxxon Syndrome – The name of the insideous social infliction that this guy perpetuates onto us by way of his clients – I’m waiting for his agency to sign Mr Fevola to his books and make a killing when No Idea/TT/ACA wants his side of the story for a couple of million..

11 03 2010
BG

when the photo of bingle in the shower showed up all over the news, my initial reaction was – like many others I am sure – Why now??It all made sense the moment that peanut’s head showed up later in the same story.

lo and behold i read this morning he is after a million bucks?? the most upsetting thing about that is that some trash mag will almost certainly part with the cash so that bogues can get their fix of outlandishly fabricated public slanging, which the rest of us are forced to wade through to discover that their favourite holiday destination is once again in politcal turmoil

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

It was two-fold – celebrity for Lara and the further decline of Fev’s career – being dropped from the AFL ad for it (surely his exclusion was deserved though, besides)

11 03 2010
Kate

I remember him being a judge on that show that exploited stage parents (and ruined their children’s future in the process).

11 03 2010
Andrew

My Kid’s A Star… a reality twist on the increasingly bogan concept of children’s talent “schools” (usually run by a former child star who failed to translate their career into adulthood)

12 03 2010
Kate

Thank goodness beauty pagents aren’t as big here than in the US.

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

I think you are being cruel to Lara Bingle and Max Markson. I think Max is one of the most professional people I have had the pleasure to meet. He is really professional and knows what he is doing. I think everyone should lay of Lara Bingle as she is going through a hard time.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I’m still waiting for the punch line, Ben??

11 03 2010
Mezz

Me too!

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

what do you mean a punchline?

I think this is being very cruel to Max and Lara, don’t you think Alyssa?

11 03 2010
James Hunter

“The Punch”
is withe other people in another place.

11 03 2010
James

How is it cruel? In that it tells the truth? What else is Bingle famous for, if not sex scandles?

And what else does Markson do but attempt (often successfully, you must give him that much) to make irrelevant people slightly famous for a short period?

11 03 2010
James

Oops – misspelt scandals. Cue pillorying.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

the Pedant is back warning,,,warning,,,,warning.

13 03 2010
Tombarina

(….pillory, pillory, pillory. And a small mockette…)

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I think keeping a straight face at my desk at work is hard when I read your comments.

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

I really hope you still aren’t waiting and have done other things. It would be very wrong if you sat here waiting for some sort of punchline.

I hope Lara has come to this blog and is adding this blog to her people she is suing. This is not nice at all and in my very short professional career as a journalist i would never write these sort of things.

11 03 2010
Shirley M

On what basis could she possibly sue for?

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

I love your unintentional comedy. Please feel free to visit us every day. Oh how we’ll laugh!

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

I am not trying to be funny. Why do you say that?

11 03 2010
pb

hence unintentional.

12 03 2010
Tone

I’m sorry, but I can’t trust the opinion of someone whose name sounds like something from the menu at La Porchetta.

Methinks Been Carbonara is a troll. At least he’s different to our usual suspects – and we can take the piss out of screen name – so for that, we should be thankful.

Thanks for the lulz, Ben.

11 03 2010
Loftie

You’ve had the pleasure to meet Max Markson – yet I don’t recognise your name as a D-List celeb…

Perhaps you should pay him some more?

11 03 2010
Simon

Loftie, does he represent the lovely Fiona, she has been very quiet, maybe a contractural arrangement?

11 03 2010
Loftie

Simon – Certainly not…

Fiona has always done an exceptional job of representing herself.

I am 100% certain that Fiona would not like to be parrallel to such uber-bogans that Max represents…

And I had noticed – it is certainly quiet around here…. ?? Fiona ??
Where are you?

11 03 2010
Simon

I’m relieved at that. No CM or JH either. I smell a conspiracy.

11 03 2010
James

CM has added to his bizarre post about a Facebook group over on the Red Carpets thread. Something about Mr Healy in reply to my expression of discomfort at his original post.

11 03 2010
Simon

I think CM is back in the padded cell today.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Probably still sleeping after that manic episode…

11 03 2010
Simon

It was impressive.

11 03 2010
James

Impressive, and slightly disturbing.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

what an odd thing to say, Common Man, what does it matter if we are traceable??

11 03 2010
James Hunter

instead of the street with no names read”the jacket with no sleeves”

11 03 2010
common man

thankyou for real comedy but the comical part is how easy everyone is to find eg/fb/forums/newspapers booksmart maybe tactical no but my point worked ie;fot

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Simon ,
see my comment above to Alyssa.
Maybe John Singleton has Fi’s contract and is just waiting for the sex scandle part befor launching her to national(at least) stardom??
Mind you I have not been approached for my side of the story ??

11 03 2010
Simon

I can’t wait to hear your side James.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
being a gentleman, I would not speak alone.
since the good lady is indisposed just now i can only say that our story is private and until Fi clears it with her publicist the whole world and the throngs of story and pic rats will just have to remain calm.
Remember all things come to those who wait
Think of it like a Medicare refund cheque!!

11 03 2010
Simon

Ok but patience is not my strong suit.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Ben Carbonaro | Facebook Friends: Peggy Soo, Kane Grossman, Bec Ellul, Tingting Jin, Scott Hudson, Max Markson

11 03 2010
Simon

Ben, you do a great line in sarcasm.

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

What do you mean by that?

Are you saying i am being sarcastic?

11 03 2010
Simon

Must be , you can’t be serious man.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Surely you can’t be serious! I am – and stop calling me Shirley!

11 03 2010
Simon

I was doing my John McEnroe impersonation.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

And I my Leslie Nielsen (Flying High)

11 03 2010
Simon

Nice one.

11 03 2010
Mezz

It’s like there’s a new one every day. What’s up with that?

11 03 2010
Benjamin

“everyone should lay of Lara Bingle as she is going through a hard time.”

And trying to profit by it, in public. This dampens sympathy somewhat.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Great line
“lay off” Lara
looks like Clarke’s been layed off !! nad lied off lol

11 03 2010
Bogue

…and whilst you’re at it, leave Britney alone (sob).

11 03 2010
Antosha

Now THAT is a funny post !!!

hahahaha !!

11 03 2010
Mark

Remember Harry M. Miller?

11 03 2010
Bogue

Remember Dino Records?

11 03 2010
Mark

Well I’m surprised there’s no mention of Harry M. on here, considering he’s the agent for Lindy Chamberlain, Big Brother “celebrities” and Underbelly figures like Judy Moran, he was around well before Max

and I only vaguely remember Dino Records, didn’t they sell Chubby Checker CDs and cassettes on TV?

11 03 2010
Bogue

I think Harry’s almost gone the way of Dino records, with people like Max Markson and Andrew McManus now handling everything from 15 minute old celebrities to Fleetwood Mac to ice skating shows.

11 03 2010
Mezz

I’m getting vague childhood recollections here – Scary. How much more strategic and advanced is marketing to bogans these days. I remember seeing that ad right before of after the Bedazzler ads. Child abuse it was, subjecting children to that shit in front of the electronic babysitter.

11 03 2010
Wolfgang

Looks like the author hates Max and has tried to loosely tie it into someone a bogan likes….

This one missed the mark

Gosh, how you’re able to suggest that Max Markson isn’t the architect of a large slice of bogan celeb culture, is quite surprising. TBL

11 03 2010
Shirley M

Max ties in perfectly to things bogans like!

I think it’s a fabulous entry TBL.

11 03 2010
Bogue

True to some extent – most bogans wouldn’t know, and wouldn’t care, who is behind the idiots they idolise. However, he is obviously very well tuned to their thinking. Maybe Max is actually TBL, and this is but a decoy?

Well, he did post a link to today’s entry on his Twitter feed 5 hours ago. Despite Wolfgang’s protest, the man himself found the entry “very funny”. http://twitter.com/maxmarkson TBL

11 03 2010
Bogue

Good on him/you…any publicity is good publicity!

12 03 2010
Wolfgang

Apologies…. I was wrong. Seems like he does have a large following of bogans…. You learn something new everyday.

Your at the cutting edge. No doubt.

11 03 2010
Mezz

Oh no! – How many bogans will that attract to the TBL site now? Think about it, who would be following this guys twitter posts?

11 03 2010
Bogue

I’m pretty sure Claire can’t read…you’ll be safe Mezz.

11 03 2010
James

I am vomiting with fear.

11 03 2010
Bogue

That you’ll be added to his books?

11 03 2010
James

That just made the fear-vomits even worse.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
would you care to give Fi a call on her mobile , It is so unlike her to be absent when needed.

11 03 2010
Simon

It’s just going to message bank. Maybe she is hunkered down with Bungle readjusting her attitude.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

So long as they are not “adjuasting their dress”
oh horror at the thought

11 03 2010
boganator

doubt anyone who follows his tweets can read, they just like the jingly noise on their phones that makes them feel important.

11 03 2010
James

I can see it now: “Shut up Jaidynn, I just got a tweet from Max Markson.”

11 03 2010
dc

i think this is a stretch, even bogans wouldn’t associate with max markson.

which probably makes bingle, sub-bogan.

11 03 2010
pinky has a brain

I knew nothing of the Bingle Boob “scandal” so I Googled it, and had to laugh when I read “…a source close to Clarke said” and “Her facebook page…” and “According to Twitter…” I mean if that doesn’t prove this came from her publicist I don’t what does. Such bull shit.

Great article TBL. Another winner!!

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

I know working as a journalist I reference facebook a lot as it’s the way things are going these days. I also use a lot of twitter as well. You can follow my twits if you want.

Reading between the lines of your comments, We’re getting some sort of sixth sense vibe that you’re… a journalist? TBL

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

Yes I report on netball. I also do some work for SEN.

11 03 2010
Shirley M

So what’s the deal with I love you erin?

12 03 2010
Simon

Twitts, Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ben you crack me up.

11 03 2010
11 03 2010
Mag hag

Sure, Max Markson might be a bogan-magnet and a media whore, but he’s always contactable and is ready with a quote or a sound grab at a moment’s notice. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say for most PR managers, who seem to think it’s their job to steamroll journalists and/or drag them through days of protracted bureaucracy for a bland one-liner. If you need a comment on deadline, you call Max.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes, isn’t that AMAZING?! Could it be because he makes it all up that he is so fast?

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

No he does not make it up. Max is very professional at what he does and does it well. I know when i am working in the media i am always available for a chat.

11 03 2010
CT

And yet curiosly. Noone cares.

CT

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

Why do you say noone cares? I know a lot of people who care about what is happening to lara.

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Ben if you know a lot of people who car for lara then :
one, you must mix with a strange crowd.
two,I have a used postage stamp,you can have it and make the list on the back !

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Ben Carbanaro,
If you are a journo and you still have integrity then yes you have not been a jurno for long.

11 03 2010
Ben Carbanaro

I have only just started and i am still at uni. I am very professional and like to keep it that way when i become a leading journalist.

As mentioned by James Hunter, good luck. You’re going to need wholesale quantities of it. TBL

11 03 2010
James Hunter

Well,Well, TBL note

he is a jurno,well still at uni Hmmm

I have written lots of editorial and advertyising over the years but that doesnt make me a jurno.

To me a jurno has to be investigative by nature,not just nurture.

other article writers are just that nothing more then mere writers of fact (or fiction).
so TBL : may i take some credit for flushing the truth from Ben?

Ben. Good luck and take what we say kindly but do try to understand it.

11 03 2010
urbanreverie

Ben, it’s hard to lose your professional integrity when you’re covering the Sunbury Netball Assocation under-11s quarter-finals for the Sunbury Leader or some obscure sports radio station. Netball is not exactly the most morally challenging of human activities to report on. If – and it’s a big IF – you were to become a political or business writer for a News Ltd or even a Fairfax paper, you might find it rather more difficult to maintain those lofty ethical standards you are so proud of.

Though part of me reckons that we might have found ourselves a new troll to join the ever-growing pantheon of TBL shit-stirrers. So let’s all give a hearty welcome to Ben for making this blog even more interesting and humorous!

Oh, and his Wikipedia user page is hilarious too!

11 03 2010
James Hunter

maybe he just likes perving on the netball girls?

11 03 2010
Chris

So it turns out Ben Carbanaro has a rather humorous wiki page entry, and a twitter page … stay tuned

11 03 2010
Shirley M

So did you see ‘I love you Erin’? I don’t know who Ben is, or why someone has deemed this twitter page necessary.. but I fucking love it.

11 03 2010
Brian

The best comment on this contrived saga was made by Laras previous agent who let her go because “she dosen’t do very much” . Surprisingly (is that a word?)
the victim in this whole crapfest may turn out to be Brendon Favola. Life is strange.

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

not surprisingly, it is a real word

11 03 2010
Shirley M

Wrong Brian. We who have to endure seeing and hearing about all this faff every which way we turn are the victims. Rest assured that all the players will live happily ever after.

11 03 2010
urbanreverie

Shirley, the Bingle boobie bungle has even been covered by the ABC. Our precious, professional, reliable, highbrow ABC. Nooooooo! The whole sordid affair has even been mentioned in The Guardian, the UK’s most cosmopolitan and intelligent daily newspaper. Aaaaargh! I agree, people who couldn’t give a rats about Lara and Fev’s lascivious photographic escapades are the true victims.

11 03 2010
Sammie

Ben Carbanaro is what’s wrong with Australia. Can we have an entire post for him? Still a student and claiming to be a professional journalist. LOL. You are pompous and young and associating with the likes of Lara and Max will never ever be good for your ‘professional’ career. Ever. I have never posted on TBL before but as a ‘professional’ journalist myself (Thankfully no longer living in Australia – by choice) reading your comments made me want to hire some of the many hit men I’ve met on my travels to take you out Ben. Please never comment on here again. I was enjoying this blog so very much until you came along. And no, we never ever ever EVER quote Facebook as a reliable source of ANY information Ben. Shame on you. You are a dark shit stain on my profession.

11 03 2010
Chris

haha wow his site seems almost like some sort of piss take.

11 03 2010
pb

one of your best entries, tbl – i particularly like that max markson is being described as a thing rather than a person.

11 03 2010
Thomas L. Pennyfeather, esq.

I think Markson is a God amongst men. Rarely has someone become so successful (and presumably wealthy) by so effectively targeting a single demographic. For your continued (tremendously successful) manipulation of pathetic and largely talentless individuals for your own gain, I salute you, Mr. Markson. Someone needs to make a buck out of the stupidity of the general populace, and I can think of few people more deserving than Markson due to his tireless efforts promoting z – list celebrities.

12 03 2010
Tone

P. T. Barnum could have only dreamed of half the stuff modern day flim flam merchants such as the Marksons and Cliffords of this world are capable of turning a profit on.

I wonder if either Bogan Max or Chav Max have a picture of P. T. Barnum in their office as inspiration?

12 03 2010
DeeBee

I happen to have it on very good authority that Max Marskon comes from a long line of the UK’s finest circus stock …. ringmasters, clowns etc.
TBL – thanks so much for the site, I just laugh myself silly reading your absolute spot on observations of the nouvelle-bogan.

11 03 2010
Robbie

I was applauding Sammie’s post until the ‘hit men’ bit…bit harsh don’t you think?

11 03 2010
Sammie

Sorry Robbie, you’re absolutely spot on… got carried away in my frustration… *hangs head in shame*

12 03 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT, or is it realy Shirl?
Sorry just teasing
Good point you made
Why would Common Man make a point of our traceability?
Bit scarey?
More difficult trying to find any particular ” common man ” ??

12 03 2010
AlyssaKT

he’s just a weirdo. Obviously trying to get attention. Interesting site to try it on – despite most of the regular commentators actually biting, it’s hardly the place he/she will really get a good reaction. We’re all too comfortable to get offended. Track me down Common Man! ooooooohhh.
Now we have Teneal. She/he is a real charmer.

12 03 2010
Shirley M

I love the shit out of Teneal. I hope she’s here for the long haul.

12 03 2010
Shirley M

“I hope your itchy box will be cured soon. You make prissy girls looks bad. We all know that they you are a red head deep down. Stop dying and start trying”.

How could you NOT love Taneal?

12 03 2010
common man

due time my love only those that have something to hide havnt commented but its been watching,its ip has been online 2day

12 03 2010
Laura

Pointless entity, Richard Wilkins. *Grinning smiley*

As dead-on as ever, TBL! These entries are so good I could cry!

12 03 2010
StuManChu

Mick Gatto in an Ed Hardy T-Shirt. The guy wears that stuff like he’s sponsored by them. He frequents a certain Spring st establishment and is always wearing slacks, leather shoes & a few pounds of gold, topped off with a sequinned Ed Hardy T Shirt and can often be seen cavorting with underbelly loving parking inspectors while his Black Merc sits on it’s lonesome in a clearway…

22 03 2010
Mark of Pyrmont

Max’s website proudly states that one of his clients is “Bryon Bay Beer.” Am I a non-bogan (what is the opposite anyway?) because I noticed this obvious spelling mistake? Or just a pedant?

22 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Not sure, Mark, you just claimed to like Two and a Half Men so much that the article about the show offended you… Very murky waters.

23 03 2010
Mark of Pyrmont

I find life to be terribly confusing sometimes.

22 03 2010
Mark of Pyrmont

Is it just me, or is there something unsurprising but oddly satisfying in the knowledge that Lara Bingle’s mother’s name is Sharon?

4 04 2010
Jacqui

I care Ben, agree with what you say. It`s disgusting the way Lara was treated, from what I`ve seen she is a kind caring young lady and is blessed with outer beauty also. I am nearly 50, I have a daughter the same age as Lara and I would be bloody proud (as Lara`s Mum would be) It`s people who haven`t a clue who tarnish images. As for Max, I don`t know him but I`ve taken notice since the LB upset. What happens next is their business but my opinion is that he is kind caring genuine and it`s his positive approach lacking in so many others. A breath of fresh air, I love reading his tweets, it boosts my day, never a bad word to say about anyone.

4 04 2010
brad

Vous etes trop stupides aussi etre une femme frrancaiseJacqui,malgre votre nom.!

21 06 2010
Captain Fancypants from CDU

Still, I reckon the gigs would come, and we could be rock gods!

19 07 2010
sillybandzwholesale

Thank you for your sharing.It is very nice post.

29 11 2010
A public appeal to Richard Wilkins « Things Bogans Like

[…] accused Wilkins of hijacking telethons, hijacking red carpet specials, being outflanked by Max Markson as the ideal celebrity conduit for bogans, and being a polymer that doesn’t actually exist. Other […]

29 11 2010
A public appeal to Richard Wilkins « Things Bogans Like

[…] accused Wilkins of hijacking telethons, hijacking red carpet specials, being outflanked by Max Markson as the ideal celebrity conduit for bogans, and being a polymer that doesn’t actually exist. Other […]

2 11 2011
Ash - Glasser of Carnts, Master of #124, King Of The MFing Mountain

Is it at all wrong that I’m somewhat excited that Maxx is now following me on Twitter after he replied to my tweet (albeit very non-committedly) about wanting to become a celebrity without doing anything?

2 11 2011
Ash - Glasser of Carnts, Master of #124, King Of The MFing Mountain

My theory of course being that some day he’ll read my Twitter feed, realise that I am such a sick carnt I have to become a fully maxxtreme celebrity regardless of my complexion, figure out a way to make it happen and I’ll end up getting invited to a few celebrity parties where I can give Lara Bingle and Jesinta Campbell #124.

Before my 15 minutes of fame are up I’ll get some of my music out, my time in the limelight will be dead but I’ll have done enough to live out my dream of being a working muso (and not a maxxtreme bogan one) for the rest of my life. So my motives are somewhat pure.

2 11 2011
James Hunter

Ash,
Your one sick puppy !!!

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