#102 – Red Carpet Specials

10 03 2010

This post could so easily have been about the bogan love of awards ceremonies. Awards ceremonies are, by and large – in the bogan mind – celebrations of famous people being x-tremely good at being famous. Hour after hour of recognisable people reading off a teleprompter how good these famous people are at the primacy of bogan pursuits – sport (watching), television, film and bad music – seems to be audiovisual crack for most bogans. At least, judging by the audience that tunes in to the Logies each year it is.

But it would be wrong to suggest that the bogan simply loves awards ceremonies. TV networks have figured out, like T20 cricket, slamball, Underbelly, Megachurches and Ministry of Sound, that taking things bogans like, removing the boring bits, and repackaging them as separate products often results in an orgiastic bogan spending or viewing spree of epic proportions. So, with awards ceremonies, all reference to the pursuit being awarded is removed, and two hours are dedicated to watching people arrive at a party.

Thus, the bogan female can indulge in its perceived love of couture, commenting snidely on other bogan females who managed to finagle themselves a spot in front of a television camera. That these briefly famous bogans are wearing clothes that are likely to wind up on the racks of bogan stores in various iterations in coming months is of no concern to the bogan of course, who is apparently incapable of thinking beyond the two hour red carpet special. Meanwhile, the male bogan has an ideal opportunity to scope some massive cans.

Another common theme to the Red Carpet Special is the presence of an individual for whom there is no rational explanation. That they exist at all is baffling in the x-treme. That they are apparently beloved of bogans is confusing to the point of aneurism. They have been on television seemingly forever, and often have not altered in appearance in that time. Their hair hovers nebulously in that unique TV-land purgatory between wig, actual hair, and strange lacquered helmet. And the grand daddy of all of these is Richard Wilkins. Whether or not he is real is up for furious debate. He may be a bogan construct. But, along with the likes of Darryl Somers, Sonya Kruger, Karl Stefanovic, David ‘Kochie’ Koch and Kerry-Anne Kennerly, he is a predominantly synthetic, vacant shell into which the bogan can pour their personality assumptions; a nice, white, inoffensive head attached to a microphone.

At the end of the ceremony, the bogan goes to sleep. Upon waking, it scans the paper or news website for photos of the ordeal…


Actions

Information

201 responses

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Red Carpet events are for wannabes. It’s our way of letting the lesser people share a little of the glamour we take for granted.

10 03 2010
djm

Brilliant, possibly your best yet.

10 03 2010
Linda

unrelated however related TBL – http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/mikayla-weber-lucky-to-be-alive-after-falling-television-inflicted-horrific-head-injuries/story-e6frf7jo-1225838905434

mikayla nearly died with a plasma fell on her.. tragic but could have been avoided in bogan land…

10 03 2010
Korubell

“Mikayla” (insert eyeroll)

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I wonder if her family should approach ACA or TT to complain about Harvey Norman’s credit practices that allowed them to get the TV in the first place?

10 03 2010
common man

thats about as original as 6 nerds ripping off “things white/black/asian etc,etc like” at least the chaser boys had some originality unlike zhang ruifang an friends

10 03 2010
Shirley M

This is not a laughing matter. Having said that, the quote “I never imagined in my wildest dreams a television could do so much damage”, is.

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Did P.B. on Facebook steal your comment here or are you one and the same, Shirley?
(P.B.”This is not a laughing matter. Having said that, the quote “I never imagined in my wildest dreams a television could do so much damage”, is. ”
Only asking because it seems very rude if you are not the same, to be stealing someone else’s comments as your own…

10 03 2010
Shirley M

we are one and the same, Alyssa. But shhhh… don’t tell anyone.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Also, surely a mention of Lara Bingle would be appropriate?

10 03 2010
James Hunter

Lara bungle and Bert Newton ?

15 03 2010
kika

i keep confusing lara bingle with laura dingle …… only resemblance is the names. they could not be more different (not sure about that grammar).

10 03 2010
James

Who is Lara Bingle? And more importantly, what does she do? As far as I can see, she is famous for having sex with bogans…

I was about to write a summary here, then I remembered that this blog involves me writing summaries of bogan stuff as entries. My concluding thought was “we might have to do an entry on Lara Bingle”. TBL

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Your last sentence answers the question posed in your first.

10 03 2010
James

Ah ha. I guess I was confused because I thought anyone could have sex with bogans, and that it does not seem like a reason to have photographers camped outside your window.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Anyone could. *shudder* But why would one…

10 03 2010
James

Self-hate, perhaps?

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Perhaps. I’ve never seen the appeal of so-called “rough trade” and have never felt its call. It’s simply uncouth. I’m sure the smell of these people would be simply frightful.

10 03 2010
James

You’re in cracking form today, Fiona.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Thank you, but uncalled for – I’m always in cracking form.

10 03 2010
Antosha

Yes… it seems that it will take more than a few broadsides from Andrew to keep our Fiona from plying her trade.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Who’s “Andrew”?

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Having done one on Brendan Fevola, it’s hard to see how you can’t do Lara now. So to speak.

10 03 2010
Antosha

Andrew – the clown launching broadsides at everyone on this blog + the delightful Fiona on yesterday’s comment thread.

Seems he has been put well and truly in his place now.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Hmmm, I was involved? He didn’t even register.

10 03 2010
Mezz

Yep – That’s about all she’s known for, especially considering that the one semi professional exploit of hers is a catch phrase in a TV ad that everyone including Tourism Australia (sponsors of the ad) would rather be forgotten. It would appear that there were also bogans in the engine room for that one and not just in front of the cameras. Seems that she really does like the male variety of the bogan given her history, particularly if they’re already in relationships when she meets them..

10 03 2010
SM Adelaide

Putting an 18 year old girl into a bikini to seduce old paedophiles into coming to Australia, while trying to sneaking a jingoistict semi-swear word? Yep I think that kind of X-treme marketing suggests an bogan engine room.

11 03 2010
DP

OMG, is Tourism Australia full of bogans? I just thought it was a cocaine binge by the creative minds in the advert agency.

10 03 2010
brad

whom are we talking about Lara Bingle or Fiona?

10 03 2010
Linda

Yes Lara Bingle is the Queen as Fevola is the King of bogans

10 03 2010
common man

“lesser” zhang ruifang claims surely persisting in this childish act leave,s your morals and character “lower” than any bogan who wouldnt bother with hate campaigns

10 03 2010
Tone

If bogans are attracted to red carpet, does this mean that ranga femme bogues are the only femme bogues that don’t believe in brazilian waxes?

10 03 2010
Simon

Tone, nice job!

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And Keith Urban.

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Ranga femme bogues are almost certainly bleaching their head hairs blonde and therefore it’s Brazilian wax time…

10 03 2010
Simon

Ah, Nightwalkers.

10 03 2010
James Hunter

Simon did you know that “south african nightwalkers” are loverly large earth worms?

10 03 2010
Simon

Are they also red?

10 03 2010
Shirley M

The designer du jour will be approached by Target to design a range of affordable clothing. I think after last years Oscars it was Zac Posen.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What’s Target????

10 03 2010
Shirley M

tar-jay, darling.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Still lost…???

10 03 2010
common man

just like your morals fibers “lost”

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Just to let you know “common man”, I’m not really interested in a relationship with you…

10 03 2010
common man

sorry zhang ruifang which you still havnt clicked onto yet your work an persona disgust myself and anyone with common decency plus im not homosexual

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Plus, as you are aware, you’re quite common.

10 03 2010
common man

weakest comeback all year cmonLOL.

10 03 2010
Loftie

Damn straight she’s not… 😉

10 03 2010
Shirley M

Never mind. I’m sure the sheer volume of lesser people you would encounter there would cause you to hyperventilate at the very least. Best you remain in the dark.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Thank you for your kindness and for respecting my sensibilities.

10 03 2010
common man

LOST alright and not very bright either zhang ruifang?

10 03 2010
Tone

Why is common man so horny for Zhang Ruifang this morning?

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m torn between wanting to know and NOT wanting to know!

10 03 2010
common man

tone,s on the money but somehow our bright he/she male still cant figure it out just like the rest of things blacks/whites/asian likes LOL.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

Dear FoT. Please acknowledge CMs Zhang Ruifang reference. It may lead him to desist from using it.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. How do you suggest I acknowledge it?

10 03 2010
Shirley M

I’m sure you can come up with something.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I find it best to ignore trolls. From now on, I’ll just do that. 🙂

10 03 2010
common man

benjamins points yesterday are spot on %100 acurate,when your coffee cup more than half full only then your gulibull audience will realise you sux just like the other 6 nerds who copied this blog from an american blog

10 03 2010
common man

the troll has been beaten at her own game haha get back under that bridge/rock you came from LOL.

10 03 2010
common man

FFS msn loser,s

10 03 2010
Jekyll and Hyde

@ common man
Yesterday you were jumping to the defence of this blog and Fiona.
Did Fiona spurn your advances dearie? Next you will be calling her a lezzer.

10 03 2010
James Hunter

Target is the place the terrorists are seeking sort of an aid de virgin

10 03 2010
common man

hi james i noticed your name an comments in some newspaper that stated an proved this blog is racist an run by 6 fools from melb but the publicity has caused some to move to lakemba where as the koran state,s conquer an divide who else would target hate against whites/blacks/asian/bogans on such a grand scale consider yourself lucky the taliban is broke truly lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

10 03 2010
James

?? I’m confused.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. That’s actually a good thing. Even my extensive knowledge of languages, largely gained through my higher degree in the Classics is of no use to me when reading his “comments”.

10 03 2010
common man

i see you still havnt clued on to who zhang ruifang is yet hint try looking in the mirror LOL.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

There’s a difference between ‘not clueing on’ and ignoring you, common man.

10 03 2010
common man

please james as someone i respect look at the other hate blogs from this things black/white/asian/bogan like via wordpress my question is who funds such promotion of divide/hate/superority

10 03 2010
James

I don’t think that is what this about, CM. I don’t think most of us hate bogans – many of us feel sorry for them, sure, but hate? That’s a very strong word.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And some of us (i.e., me) view them as charitable cases. “There but for the grace of God, go I” and all that.

10 03 2010
common man

LOL.you mean allah zhang ruifang??

10 03 2010
common man

sorry i meant DIVIDE but please check the other ones as a hint

10 03 2010
Shirley M

I neither hate them nor view them as charitable cases. I’m downright afraid of them.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I must admit, I’m sure I’d be rather frightened should I ever have the misfortune to meet one. 😦

10 03 2010
common man

shirley please look at all wordpress,s blogs there,s a lot scarier things around than bogans its called brainwashing by a agenda driven???

10 03 2010
Shirley M

I hope you’re not suggesting I am being brainwashed by this blog.

If agenda driven brainwashing is what you are afraid of, then the topics addressed in this blog should be of high interest to you.

10 03 2010
Simon

It’s ok Shirley, I don’t think CM’s brain is in any danger.

10 03 2010
pb

common man, please learn the difference between an apostrophe and a comma, and use them appropriately.

20 05 2010
AntiPajero

Well there goes the last of my tin-foil. And yours too, I suspect, common man.

10 03 2010
common man

james hunter please enlighten the plebs of that articule in a certain paper that uncovered this blogs authors??

10 03 2010
Shirley M

You’re right Simon. It’s like that old saying about drunks and babies.

10 03 2010
nate

one of the best posts so far TBL. 5 stars!

10 03 2010
Sten

Excellent work, TBL, though a mention of the perennial Bert Newton would’ve resulted in a chuckle from my good self – he must surely be trapped in that “unique TV-land purgatory between wig, actual hair, and strange lacquered helmet”.

Why won’t he just go away?

10 03 2010
common man

excellent “no” copycats “yes” please google other wordpress sites

10 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

common man, common by name, common by nature.
why bother googling when the chaps at TBL are doing such a great job.

This not a hate blog, it is a depiction of a segment of society whose behaviours are typically beyond the pale. Bogans are not born, they trained up by relatives, the lads at TBL are pointing out the errors of their ways so that they can become reputable humans again.

10 03 2010
Benjamin

And we’re all a bit bogan. It’s a continuum, not an absolute state.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Er, I’m not.

10 03 2010
Benjamin

I was expecting that 😉

Of course you’re not, dear.

10 03 2010
Antosha

ALAS !!! Guilty…. I followed the Oscars this year…

10 03 2010
Poppy

Love the link to Cornetto

10 03 2010
10 03 2010
JimC

Not to mention that Richard Wilkins is the bogan’s Roger Ebert when it comes to incisive film criticism.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

ha!

10 03 2010
Simon

Yeah, does the man have an opinion or just rehash the plot?

10 03 2010
common man

no doubt our man tbl is held uo in a mosque who else has that hate/ superiority complex

10 03 2010
James

You seem to hate us, CM.

10 03 2010
common man

no just what the bigger picture eludes which is hatred hence tbl not stepping in yet no responsible media group would allow this think bigger mate

10 03 2010
ArtieFufkin

have you been drinking all day? Every single one of your replies is an incoherent orgy of bad grammar and stupid references.

I wish we had an ignore function!

10 03 2010
Antosha

Tell me about it!!! Trying to make sense of CM’s rants is like trying to solve a Rubix Cube one handed, in the dark.

10 03 2010
Nick Buick

The bit about Richard Wilkins… a work of pure art.

10 03 2010
Martz

You forgot the obligatory professional homosexual, eg Channel Nine’s Richard Reid. At first glance, his function is simply to validate the network by making them look like an international player because they employ a “Hollywood Insider”. But it is as a professional homosexual that he really shows his worth. Red carpet events have a massive fag-hag quotient and so the Richard Reids of the world flounce about being everyone’s gay best friend – you know, the one who’s, like, really fun at parties. They also flirt outrageously (everything they do is “outrageous”) with the celebrities, commenting on their plunging necklines and noting their borrowed jewels, titillating the female viewers who ruefully glance at the shaved ape across the room. Meanwhile, for the bogan male partners who haven’t decamped to another flat-screen infested room to watch sport, the non-threatening gay can provide them with some vicarious proximity to female flesh.

Then of course there’s the bitchy queen doing the Best and Worst Dressed list, who invariably has to be wearing something profoundly ugly. Producers have to remember that this species of professional homosexual cannot be at the same event as the flirty, flouncy one, otherwise the Earth stops rotating.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

hahaha.. the Earth stops rotating. Brilliant.

10 03 2010
Simon of South Yarra

And, thus, at last, an explanation of and for these gadflies. Martz, you will surely be invited to be a major contributor to this esteemed journal if you continue in this superb fashion.

I thank you for your insight

10 03 2010
Daniel

I love “Who’s ya dress by?” Somehow having a designer name is something that needs to be shouted from the rooftop and a designer name makes an otherwise ugly sack elegant. I guess it is so the bogan can look for that brand at DFO or eBay.

10 03 2010
Mezz

SUPRE!!!

10 03 2010
JimC

Didn’t Sam Worthington say “some bloke” when asked that same trite, lame question?

As much as I’d like to attach ‘Uber-Bogan’ status to him I have to admit I thought that was funny as hell.

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Exactly, it was a worthy response to a pointless question.
I think he’s just an “Aussie Larrikin”.
However, I did catch him on the last episode of BogueRove and, after being informed earlier it was to be an outdoors BBQ special, turned up in thongs with ‘snags and a box of wine’ (to discuss Avatar). Gold.

10 03 2010
Peggsy

Sam Worthington is an AFI award winning actor (think he won for playing a confused bisexual character in Somersault?) – not a bogan. He does not deserve to be compared to Bingle/Fevola types. And my extreme attraction to him has nothing to do with this point of view.

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

You and I both, Peggsy!

I’ve had my eye on him for quite a long while and I’m glad to be getting more of an eye-full in the future 🙂

10 03 2010
Jo

the brownlow’s are surely the most bogan of all red carpet events

10 03 2010
Benjamin
10 03 2010
Simon

Logies, cricket, league thingy, so much choice for No1 bogan red carpet. I’m going with um hang on, yep, nup, sorry still can’t decide.

10 03 2010
Mezz

Well Fevola (#100) definitely turned it into a Red Carpet Event that won’t be missed by bogans in future years so if it wasn’t a must see before last yrs function, it certainly is now

10 03 2010
Benjamin

Common man says:

“benjamins points yesterday are spot on %100 acurate,when your coffee cup more than half full only then your gulibull audience will realise you sux just like the other 6 nerds who copied this blog from an american blog”

Hey – I like Fiona.

Troll doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Especially if it is done with some class, and Fiona does it in style.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. How did you make any sense out of what he “wrote”?

I will say this for him – his user name couldn’t be more apt.

10 03 2010
Benjamin

I got the general gist of it. It seems to be referencing me, then you using “sux”, “nerd” and worst of all – “american”.

I knew it couldn’t be good.

10 03 2010
Simon

Perhaps he is using sans script, or ancient Egyptian. Either way he makes James read like Shakespeare.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Good Lord, did you mean “Sanskrit”? Oh Simon, I had such high hopes for you too… 😦

10 03 2010
Simon

Hangs head in shame, shuffles feet, trudges off to coffee machine to meet Sten.

10 03 2010
Benjamin

🙂

Thank you sir.

10 03 2010
Sten

I must concur with Fiona, I was wondering what “sans script” was. Oh well, indeed we all have our off moments. Welcome to the coffee machine. Shame I’ve got to stop bludging and do some work now.

10 03 2010
Simon

Flat white no sugar thanks Sten.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Soy latte, no sugar for me. And don’t spit in it.

10 03 2010
Simon

It’s ok I’m watching him.

10 03 2010
Benjamin

Soy Latte?

Oh dear. I think you might need to go the machine yourself now.

10 03 2010
Linda

sans script.. sans meaning “without” but written in the French Language?

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I only had to look at the user name to know it wouldn’t be any good.

10 03 2010
common man

your bragging of the classic,s is a bogan trait an your intellect still cant figure out why the zhang ruifang refernces suits you

10 03 2010
10 03 2010
common man

thankyou simon our high stationed transgender wouldve never found it LOL.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

Thank you Simon. I was going to do just that but didn’t feel it was my place.

I’m sure we’re all proficient in the use of google here, CM.

10 03 2010
Simon

You’re welcome Shirley. Don’t hold back!

10 03 2010
common man

yes shirley its about time plebs looked at how this is just a cheap rip off/idea from unoriginal authors that like causing/watching inflamatory debate,s over intellect hence not stepping in my question is who would fund/allow this??

You’re a bit manic, and you haven’t yet hatched a conspiracy theory that’s worth debunking. We do acknowledge your efforts, though. TBL

10 03 2010
Simon

God damn it, where is my glass.

10 03 2010
common man

nice work simon i truly love it and point taken/absorbed

10 03 2010
Chris

haha im in stitches or soon to be

10 03 2010
common man

trolling is always fun??but you my friend are yet to explain to all the purpose of such sites that ensite negative/positve reactions in a fetile manner?and for what futile purpose?is that too much to ask?

10 03 2010
Simon

Yep.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

What does this mean? Seriously?

10 03 2010
common man

LOL.maybe tbl needs time to concur with staff,conclusion of site managment =truley “lesser” people an i mean that in all “senses”

10 03 2010
Simon

Shirley, he has no idea, just too much red cordigal as Tubesteak suggested.

11 03 2010
DP

Common man reads like a computer-generated text agent. I think TBL attracted its very first artificial entity…

10 03 2010
Adrian

Especially the after party!!!!!

10 03 2010
Troy

How annoying is Carl Boganovic? Also surely morning shows such as ‘Today” and “Sunrise” are a bogans cup of tea.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Maybe not exactly, but I’m sure the two are shared.

10 03 2010
Mezz

Absolutely.. They lap that shit up – and some even go as far as to become “Sunrise Family Members” what’s that all about anyway. Carl and David Koch would have to be the most annoying pair of bogans on TV and what’s worse is they are on rival networks at the same time.

10 03 2010
Shirley M

It’s a good thing that they are on at the same time. If Bogans could watch both of them… well… I shudder to think, really.

10 03 2010
Simon

So Mezz, do you need to channel hop to get your fix?

10 03 2010
Mezz

Couldn’t be less interested. Just an observation or 2 made during some of my more cynical moments. I do however have a house mate who tends to tune in for morning *news* so I do get enough exposure to this genre on my way out the door to be able to form an opinion.

10 03 2010
vivisection

It was the greatest day of my life when ABC2 started their morning show. I have so much less anger in the morning now. The only thing worse than Carl is that Leila McKinnon beast – she reeks of a fundamentalist christian upbringing .

10 03 2010
Simon

How about the interchangeable weather dudes? And I vote A OK as biggest bogan.

10 03 2010
Sten

Oh, like bloody Tim Bailey? God, he’s so annoying. The only thing worse than seeing him on the news is hearing him as the announcer at a soccer game (yes, back in the NSL days, that’s what he did, and did badly. You’d think the NSL would take the hint after the whole of North Sydney oval errupted into boos and jeers once he started his buffoonery).

10 03 2010
Annette

“Stefanovich”, “Koch” and “Zemanic” (is that how you spell it?) are not the most bogan-friendly names in the world, so I guess they must have to over-compensate with extreme mediocrity/stupidity and/or racism for mass bogan appeal.

11 03 2010
Korubell

Hey what’s wrong with Stefanovic, Koch and Zemanic? They’re traditional old Aussie names from way back… um… well from at least a generation ago.

10 03 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

I have never understood how the likes of Richard Wilkins, Mike Munroe or Jon English make a decent living. Every time Nein network has a 2 minute empty space, they go to a special cupboard, blow the dust off a strange rubbery bag-like thing, plug it into a pump and inflate it into one of the shiny slabs above. These guys are the non-union workers during a strike, the Michael Slaters of cricket commentary or the Vince Sorrentis of standup comedy/Italian cultural understanding.

10 03 2010
Mezz

TBL – You’ve done really well here. After reading the post and it’s references to the Aussie Logie Awards, I can’t help but to reflect upon a Logies moment which really put our local Red Carpet scene into international perspective. Can anyone remember Joan Rivers’ alcohol fuelled rant at all the nobodys (Aussie TV personalities) that she was asked to take to the podium and talk about?? The free piss took over and “Who are these people – Does anyone outside of Melbourne even know who any of you are” were just a couple of the compliments she payed to the audience whilst the camera zoomed away from Rove and Lisa Mc Cune for dramatic effect. Was priceless..

10 03 2010
Tone

Does anyone reckon that Lemon Detox would sell so well if the ads didn’t feature Tania Zaetta and a red carpet?

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Ha! When I first saw it I thought “how budget” (about both the set and the star) but now I realise it was a formula for success!

10 03 2010
berihebi

I love how Dick Wilkins is supposed to be every A-listers best friend. When you see them chatting to him on the red carpet they’re smiling and playing along but you can usually see a slight ‘who the hell are you?’ look in their eye.

10 03 2010
hel

Didn’t Richard Wilkin, a few years ago, impregnate some Australian Designer with his seed then dump her when she was heavily pregnant for a more lithe, supple, overly spray tanned, younger fembogue? That would go some way to explaing his X-treme popularity amongst the afore mentioned demographic, I mean, male bogues everywhere would be wondering how the hell he got away with it without the fembogue taking his nuts. Or maybe he is just a c*nt.

10 03 2010
Mezz

Probably – Sounds like the act of a true bogan role model.. I remember when he used to host MTV in the 80s – Mullet and all. Pure Bogue! And he had a sidekick with long bleached ringlet hair. I remember Jane Turner reprising her in a comedy sketch. Was priceless. People have been getting the joke for years I guess..

10 03 2010
Tubesteak

I wish mum would let “common man” have red cordial every day.

Very entertaining

Reminds me of that spastic muppet from Crank Yankers “yay it’s my birthday!”

10 03 2010
common man

Thankyou there,s only 1 reason i roleplay here see if you can figure it out,an no its not fiona of toorak either

10 03 2010
Simon

Does anyone else get the feeling CM and James Hunter are one and the same?

10 03 2010
common man

no but i might be responsable for that little misshap with your precious fb sticker group

10 03 2010
Simon

?

11 03 2010
James

Now that makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

11 03 2010
common man

mr healy i pressume has nothing to worry about

11 03 2010
James

Now I am even more confused. Do you think I am this Mr Healy?

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. They are certainly cut from the same cloth – the cloth of ignorance.

10 03 2010
Simon

Actually I retract, James makes far more sense. And he has the ability to move on. And he is funny.

10 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Painful as it is for me to admit… Yes, James does have a certain charm about him.

11 03 2010
common man

when zhang or do i mean rachel maree coan lol! realise the amount of electronic footprints one leaves on traditanol formats making one,s job easy.on then you might begin to use a proper format but some how your intellect could understand either of my question,s so ill give your nieve act a hint it starts with l ends with x but again i doubt an answer from such a lesser form of human who enjoys persacuting many

10 03 2010
Benjamin

This may be of interest to TBL readers:

http://smh.drive.com.au/motor-news/germans-to-join-v8-supercars-20100309-pvdm.html

Choice quote:

“The championship is looking to move away from its reputation as a ‘bogan’ sport and attract more families, young people, women and corporate guests through the new direction. “

10 03 2010
AlyssaKT

This article from one of our outstanding news sources on the Gold Coast:

http://www.mygc.com.au/article/news/local-newsroom/27135-supercarnivale-cuts-out-balcony-flashers.php

“The new Supercarnivale track has been shortened and will cut out Surfers Paradise in a bid to stop balcony flashers.

Female Indy revellers notoriously bared their breasts and buttocks to passers-by from the apartments.

V8 Super Cars boss Tony Cochrane announced last month they had secured family-favourite, pop star Pink as the series ambassador and there is suggestion she will perform at the event.”

ha!

No mention that without the international racing of yesteryear, there’s not enough cash to run the full length track anymore.
Well done on the spin…

10 03 2010
Shirley M

Damn. Getting wankered on cans of bundy and coke and flashing my boobs at Goldy bogans was the highlight of my year.

10 03 2010
Robbie

Common Man…what’s with the “debate,s “, there,s, classic,s” ????

Do you not know the difference between a comma and an apostrophie?

…and reading your posts could be likened to driving around blind-folded, I don’t have any idea where I’m going to end up at the end.

*GLASS*

11 03 2010
common man

commom persona an grammar 4 a reazon meyzbe?

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

TBL, is it possible to block certain people?

11 03 2010
common man

stop leaving electronic footprints ie;names on forums/newspapers/fb/blogs then, some people are limimted to booksmarts leaving themself open to ridecule ie;fiona of toorak

10 03 2010
Antosha

During my many years of travels, from deep dark jungles to vast frozen wastelands, I have learned many complex and long forgotten dialects.

I shall now attempt, for the benefit of all on this blog, to communicate with Common Man. I will try and tell him that his time here has been well served, but he now deserves a rest and should shut down his computer.

Here goes…

hey’; commeonman no doubt you feel very strongly about a;ll these pertinent factors but fiona of toorak and conspiracies can live forever and best to be de’alt with when fresh and even though zai foudong and devil horns and the pub close’s soon so best be off the,n

Let’s see if that works..

10 03 2010
Simon

Antosha, are you sure you are not CM. That was scary.

10 03 2010
Antosha

I can assure you young Simon, I am as far removed from CM as Fiona is from the queue for Canterbury Bulldogs season tickets..

10 03 2010
Benjamin

Wonderful. Nicely done.

11 03 2010
common man

anyone can be closed down dont be so nieve thankyou!!

10 03 2010
Robbie

LOL@ Antosha
I love it 🙂

10 03 2010
ant

Remember, ceremony is pronouned Sarah-Moany in Boganland.

10 03 2010
Maxwell Smart

A TV programme about people walking into a building whilst being asked what clothes they are wearing ‘red carpet arrivals’ – can a bogan not see how moronic that is? About as moronic as a hastily edited together collection of 20 video clips linked together by d grade celebrities and network contracted talking heads – but I digress.

Stop imprinting your arse cheeks into your Hardly Normal interest free couch and get up and get a life Bogan.

Every award show – Logies, Alan Border medal, ARL and NRL is just a televised mutual admiration society that sucks the femmebogue in to thinking that one day they too could sashay their orange tan and faux designer outfit along a red carpet, and teases the manbogue into thinking that if he was a star he could have his choice of tramp stamped, pneumatic chested bimbo.

Then ACA/TT, newspapers and No Idea run stories of the best dressed/worst dressed and the whole lowest common denominator media hype fest keeps feeding on itself.

– By the way – ever notice that the wives/girlfriends of the Australian mens cricket team ALL look the same – blond bimbo? Over-compensating for something?

And of course Fevola is given the opportunity to cement his place as bogan royalty by behaving like a complete twat at last years Brownlow awards.

Awards ceremonies – excuse for bogans to falsely reward themselves for misguided achievements.

Rant Ended.

11 03 2010
Robbie

nicely done Maxwell

11 03 2010
HappyFriend

Who is the ugly blond with the bandy legs on the left? Anyone know?

11 03 2010
AlyssaKT

Haha, HappyFriend, that is one of our “success stories”, Sophie Monk. After working at Movie World ‘Hollywood on the Gold Coast’ as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator for a few years Sophie’s big break came in the form of Popstars (https://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/98-doing-as-simon-says/).
Fastforward a few years (and backwards 4 dress sizes) and Sophie is an “acclaimed” Hollywood “actress” who gets her kit off in “films” (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0598241/) to show just how little she’s had to eat in the past 5 years and just how pert fake boobs can be.

11 03 2010
Shirley M

I do believe it’s Sophie Monk

12 03 2010
Laura

TBL, you keep outdoing yourself/selves. Bravo, bravo; this blog is brillo in the x-treme.

12 03 2010
HappyFriend

Sophie Monk?…from that manufactured girl group ‘Bardot’? Oh Hell.

17 03 2010
James

Fiona I will pay you 100 gazillion dollars to stop using LOL at the start of EVERY SINGLE BLOODY SENTENCE

17 03 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No.

17 03 2010
common man

o.c.d. im afraid james

28 04 2010
Jay

Just found this Logies-related treasure on news.com:

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/television/brynne-promises-to-make-big-impact-at-the-logies/story-e6frfmyi-1225859278784

I fear the maxtreme boganity quotient of this event will cause an Australia-wide implosion of bogans’ widescreens on Sunday night. With any luck 😛

29 11 2010
A public appeal to Richard Wilkins « Things Bogans Like

[…] Richard on the cover), we have variously accused Wilkins of hijacking telethons, hijacking red carpet specials, being outflanked by Max Markson as the ideal celebrity conduit for bogans, and being a polymer […]

29 11 2010
A public appeal to Richard Wilkins « Things Bogans Like

[…] Richard on the cover), we have variously accused Wilkins of hijacking telethons, hijacking red carpet specials, being outflanked by Max Markson as the ideal celebrity conduit for bogans, and being a polymer […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: