Despite its understanding of patriotism being limited to Southern Cross tattoos, hating whoever the Prime Minister is, and the unwitting embrace of foreign cultural norms , the bogan cherishes each and every thing that it has seen in Australia’s Bill of Rights. No item in this Bill of Rights is more important to the bogan than its right to freedom of speech. The bogan pauses to consider this, and then loudly pronounces something additional about its rights, and how freedom of speech is also in the Constitution. The bogan is a poor student of political history, as it is too busy being x-treme in the present. X-tremely free in its speech.
The boganic interpretation of this alleged freedom of speech allows the bogan to both internally and verbally condone the way that it is. It is proud to be uninformed, impulsive, and vulgar, and it can’t wait to exercise its divine entitlement to tell everyone all about it. As such an eclectic creature, this freedom takes many forms. Examples include loudly berating retail staff, undertaking heated domestic arguments in public, initiating 80 decibel phone conversations on public transport, participating in gutter journalism opinion polls, and proactively offering xenophobic or poorly considered opinions on society to whoever makes fleeting eye contact with the bogan. Triggering the bogan’s freedom of speech with this glance produces a similar feeling of regret to accidentally using the word “walk” in a conversation within earshot of an attentive and easily excitable dog.
While certain that it should be a beneficiary of free speech, the bogan is equally adamant that they should not be a recipient of it. The bogan reacts poorly to a non-bogan passing judgement on it, angrily discrediting the opinion offered to it as political correctness gone mad, or some sort of cultural elitism that must be crushed. This also extends to criticism of its discombobulated tXt-speak, because literacy is a detestable condition confined to the enemies of the bogan. Evidently, this powerful freedom of speech wielded by the bogan has not sufficiently motivated it to learn to speak well. It reserves the right to speak in misnomers, flawed syllogisms, and malapropisms, and not have anyone point this out to it.
Eventually, it becomes clear that to the bogan, freedom of speech is primarily confined to its own right to yell over the top of someone else, until it becomes agitated enough to glass them for being a cunt.