#80 – Fashion Statements

8 02 2010

The term “fashion statement” is an interesting one. It suggests that a person’s choice of clothing says something about themselves, what they think, and how they see the world. Basically it’s a speech bubble connected to your body all day long, and visible to all. So it makes perfect sense that people should wear clothing that they understand. The bogan does not make perfect sense.

Bogans are particularly fond of wearing clothes with large numbers printed on them. One possible explanation is that it’s an intellectual statement about what the bogan feels to an excessively competitive culture, where everyone is made to feel as though they are in a race. This possibility can safely be eliminated, as the bogan does not think in abstract metaphors such as that. After careful thought, TBL can conclude that no other explanation can possibly justify this behaviour. It is therefore just baseless trend-trotting and a desire to wear something written in a large bright font.

The confusion does not end there, though. The bogan also enjoys wearing clothing that randomly pairs a foreign city name with a random noun, and a random number. If you ask a dilettante bogan why it is wearing a yellow t-shirt with “San Francisco Bears 74” scrawled across it, do not expect to get an answer that contains actual insight. If you press further, and ask it what its favourite spot in San Francisco is, the poorly travelled bogan will likely become agitated. Any further suggestion that San Francisco is America’s leading gay town, and that “bear” is slang for “overweight and hairy gay man” is certain to create a punch-on.

This trend of boganic fashion non-statements is happening on streets and dancefloors near you. Even in the hipster district of Melbourne frequented by TBL authors, a bogan male was recently sighted at an indie pub wearing a “Fretilin” emblazoned fitted t-shirt made by mid-price disposable 16-25 fashion brand M-One-11. The bogan was confronted, and asked whether he thought Xanana Gusmão had been a good president for the Timorese. It took a good 30 seconds to explain to the irritable bogan that he was wearing a politicised t-shirt relating to a country that he could not have pinpointed on a map, and knew nothing about. The bogan’s fashion statement can be summarised as “duh”.

Ed Hardy.


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281 responses

8 02 2010
Louise

Albury bogan girls love Super-Skanky Supre.

8 02 2010
Bec

Hey, us skanky non-bogans love it too. Nowhere better for cheap cotton teeshirts!

8 02 2010
Army of birds

No, I think there are lots of places that are better, and not only because they don’t play dance music at 50,000 decibels.

8 02 2010
Linda

Cotton On is another bogue-metro love.

I’m guilty of that too.

8 02 2010
JimmyMac

Cotton On Kids does, however, do some quite decent kids + baby clothes. Not so sure about the “they shake me” tshirt, but the rest of it appears to be fine.

27 08 2014
Bob

Believe or not when it began in 1990’s Cotton On was broad response to the economic slump of early 90’s – in which markets saw a distinct demand swing. At time decent non branded and hence non price inflated consumables were in demand, thus decent quality blank coloured tee shirt/ sweatshirts/ etc at reasonable prices had strong broad demand. Cotton On started in response to that, and has slowly evolved with the shifting demands of the broad market circumstances into what it is today. A mirror to held up to culture can be a dangerous thing to look into.

8 02 2010
Anonymous Bosch

Huh. I just assumed all the anorexic Paris Hilton-wannabes bought their tiny shorts and cropped T’s from the Kids Section at Big W before they head over to the Car Section for their Fragipani decals, finally topping it off with a stop to the Sunglass Section for their huge white Audrey Hepburn knock-offs, though they’re unsure who she exactly is, other than being ‘full-on classy and that’.

8 02 2010
Tubesteak

Anorexic?

If there’s still evidence of a muffin top then they’re not trying hard enough

8 02 2010
Lis

They think that dressing like Paris makes them look just like Paris, ignoring the fact they are 25kg heavier than Paris.

8 02 2010
Tubesteak

True

8 02 2010
??

and 60 million dollars short. or in their case, 5000 dollars short

8 02 2010
Bec

But my muffin top is all that – whole-grain, low-fat. I know you want a piece of that…

9 02 2010
nauseated

That’s Bec. Rockin’ the obscure reference.

9 02 2010
bec

I have had that song in my head for the last two months. Damn you, Tina Fey, for your catchy comedic goodness!

8 02 2010
Kris

Anorexic – are you kidding…??

In my (unfortunate) experience the majority of the Femme Bogues suffer
some sort of reverse body dismorphic order…

Most of them have dress sizes bigger than their IQ and still wear outfits
thinking they’re Paris Hilton whilst the whole time in denial of the fact
that they are about a 3-4 sizes bigger than her.

Makes. My. Eyes. Hurt.

9 06 2011
Elliott

Good old Albury and the den of iniquity that was Roi Bar…

8 02 2010
OSAKA 1985

Finally!!!!

8 02 2010
Kaiks

I’ve been waiting for this entry too. I know a few Japanese who have a good chuckle at the non-sensical conjunction of kanji characters.

8 02 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Haha – wait until you see what is written on their T-Shirts!

8 02 2010
Kaiks

Yeah, I know it’s a two way street. At least I never saw the same design twice in Japan. Sometimes I see the same design on up to five bogans in one day.

8 02 2010
Tone

Blame JayJays for the high number of duplicate designs, not the bogans themselves.

8 02 2010
Kaiks

Cotton On is also a culprit.

8 02 2010
Tony D

Oh lord, Cotton On shirts… I remember when they released a couple of tshirts that had some Japanese city names printed on them. Tokyo, Osaka… ok, big cities… Akita? A bumpkin-ass town on the wrong side of the country? Could you imagine a fashion-wannabe wearing an “Albury” or “Wagga” tshirt on the streets of Tokyo or New York???

8 02 2010
Ghengis

There were “I ♥ QBN” t-shirts (in parody of the I ♥ NY marketing material) to pay homage to the lowly bumpkin-bogan town of Queanbeyan (bogan capital of Canberra, even if it’s not in the same state). Unfortunately (maybe not) they were designed to be worn ironically, along with the wearer’s “New York, Paris, Milan, *insert bumpkin-bogan Australian town name here*, Tokyo” tote bag.

8 02 2010
Peter

Lowes Menswear is puzzling. Their marketing is bogan heavy, but new age bogans would probably consider the brand too cheap. Far too cheap.

8 02 2010
Kris

“Lowes Menswear is puzzling. Their marketing is bogan heavy, but new age bogans would probably consider the brand too cheap. Far too cheap.”

such is the (a) paradox of and (b) lack of irony in the New Age Bogue

8 02 2010
Loftie

I do like questioning people on clothing selections… particularly when there are statements in bold letters…. The ‘frisco one is the best… most bogans that i’ve discussed that one with don’t even realise that its part of California, or that is the homosexual capital of the USA… Some of them don’t actually realise that its in the USA… 🙂 GOLD…

I would have thought that perhaps the ‘witty sexual comedy’ t-shirts might have got a go on here as well…

IE: “I’m a go getter…
My girlfriend works, and I go get her…”

“Gifted (picture of a 3 legged man)”

“Jesus Loves You,
But the rest of us think you’re a wanker”

Or the brand names that have been modified into other words…
They’ve gotta get a run too…

There are too many…. and they are all bogue-related…

8 02 2010
Going bogue

Surprised this one wasn’t tied into the Ed Hardy entries.

Mention could have also been made of mock-crock pointed-toe shoes worn to accompany the kind of t-shirts mentioned above.

Valid Ed Hardy point. Amending now. TBL

8 02 2010
Army of birds

Don’t forget the “trainee gynaecologist” t-shirts.

8 02 2010
Tony D

I’ve seen a few ‘FBI Female Body/Breast Inspector’ shirts around. Yeah, that was funny, when I was 14 years old…

8 02 2010
Lee

Pink industrie shirt with popped collar (they have industrie sewn on to the back of the collar too), white studded belt with G-Star jeans and haviannas. I think TBL should take a cultural excursion to the Sutherland Shire in particular Cronulla to sample the true bogan fare.

8 02 2010
SM Adelaide

There is one particular pub in Adelaide I have never been to for a particular reason. That particular reason being that my brother and one of my friends told me that “that pub has lots of guys with pink shirts with the collar up”

8 02 2010
reparty

The Norwood circa 1992-1993? Couldn’t get in with Converse.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Any hotel in the Glenelg Bay area.

8 02 2010
Storbz

That would have to be the Old Lion in North Adelaide…although the ratio of popped-collar pretty-boy to leering manscaped fully-sik has shifted in recent times.

8 02 2010
SM Adelaide

actually it was the botanic, though I don’t doubt your other suggested culprits

8 02 2010
shazza

I can’t abide the wearing of Holden/Ford Team Racing gear. Grow up 50 year old bogan man. You are not, and never will be, part of the team. Enjoy the racing if you must, but cease the juvenile fantasy.

8 02 2010
Loftie

Ouch…
you’ve hurt me there Shazza…
its my uniform… FORD…

but of course I actually do work in the industry…
so I guess that makes it acceptable (right??)

8 02 2010
shazza

Loftie, it is absolutely fine, if you really do work for the company. Don’t you shake your head when you see a middle aged guy decked out in Team Ford gear at your local shopping centre? Nowhere near a Ford dealership or mechanic shop.

8 02 2010
amr

Shazza,

What is the difference between the red and blue bogan brigade and fat cyclists wearing sponsor covered lycra on their one and only weekly ride?
None in my book.
Lycra TBL, a whole blog entry as well.

Unfortunately, cycling doesn’t really fit into the bogan aesthetic. Not until there is sufficient need to appear ‘green’ to its neighbours. Cycling is a form of exercise that builds little muscle mass (bad for male bogans) and takes a great deal of time (bad for female bogans). As such there is little appeal. Also, the trip from the McMansion to anywhere of interest requires at least a ten-minute drive in the Patrol, making bicycles redundant for many bogans. TBL

8 02 2010
AJ

tied in with the excessive wearing of compression garments when undertaking any physical activity.

8 02 2010
Tubesteak

How often do you see bogans wearing lycra?

The Hahn Superdry ads say bike pants can compromise your man-brand

Methinks not many bogues wear Lycra.

Maybe such an entry should be on thingshipstershate…

8 02 2010
Jimmy

I see loads of bogan guys at fitness first wearing compression tights.

Hilariously they only ever do arm and chest exercises because all they care about is a HUGE upper body, so I assume the compression is just a “fashion statement”

8 02 2010
Tubesteak

Ok. Initial query retracted due to assumption that bogans would find Lycra to be girlie based on the mistaken belief that what one sees is all there is

8 02 2010
Jodie

In fairness, although they aren’t bogans, the lycra-clad breed of cyclists tend to be douchebags who work in marketing. Regular cyclists are great, but the lycra ones… Meh, let ’em fight it out in a cage match with bogans.

8 02 2010
Lee

I tend to disagree a little on the cycling TBL. Perhaps it may be out of reach from the bogan masses but the behaviour these people display is definately bogan.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Possibly the most agressive, competitive and socially disruptive activity any bogan can do. Fashion statements, expensive bikes, expensive accessories, a public display of verility…if not bogan, cycling is certainly an activity a bogan aspires too.

8 02 2010
Toddo

On my occoasional cycling expedition, it seems to be ghastly coloured commodores with private number plates that hurl abuse out the window. It is also Bogans that can’t fathom why a cyclist can’t ride on the footpath.
I must admit, I do turn into a bit of a bogan when cycling, due to a self preservation instinct that kicks in (when a motorist overtakes me, then slams on the brakes to turn into a driveway)
I snapped and sprayed the last guy that did this (still controlled enough to not swear)

8 02 2010
Simon

Lee, please explain, as a cyclist the bogan behaviour is all from the drivers who try to kill us or love to yell “get a car” out the window. I know most drivers hate cyclists cause we take up their precious road ant delay them by 30 seconds but this does not constirute bogan behaviour. The lycra thing is same as the local footy team running out with AFL jumpers on. It is the practical thing to wear for the sport you are playing.

8 02 2010
Bogue

AFL players used to wear jumpers.

8 02 2010
Jodie

I can only speak for myself, but any animosity I feel towards cyclists is based on fear. I am terrified I will hit them. And, frankly, although most cyclists are fine (and I absolutely respect what they’re doing- they have just as much right to be there as I do. Moreso, from an environmental standpoint) I think a lot of it comes from the handful of cyclists who really are arrogant and assume that they can cut in front without warning or whatever. If I hit you (even if it’s your mistake) I’m legally responsible and I have to live with the fact that I hit someone with my car. So there’s that. I read a recent article (written by a cyclist) who advocated for more respect and consideration from both sides. I agree. Both cyclists and motorists are so busy laying blame that we’re losing sight of our own responsibilities. I do understand the cyclist’s view. Although I’m not a cyclist, I am a pedestrian as much as a motorist and definitely think some people use their cars to bully others. Not cool.

8 02 2010
Bazza

Agree. While I enjoy driving, I understand that cyclists are there to share the road too. Seriously, is it that difficult to slow down and wait for the appropriate time to pass?

And using a car to intimidate cyclists is simply the kind of behaviour that speaks volumes for the driver’s lack of intelligence.

8 02 2010
Simon

I agree, there are a subset of cyclists who think they own the road, ignore stop lights etc and they piss cyclists off just as much as they give the rest of us a bad name.

8 02 2010
Lee

Simon, Easy mate I wasnt having a dig at lycra and I do understand wearing what is appropriate for your particular sport. I was talking about the wankers that you have outlined above, the “subset”. Which where I live happens to be the majority of them.

8 02 2010
Simon

Cool Lee, just thought I would throw that into my indignant rant, where do you live?

8 02 2010
Lee

Near The Royal National Park, a cyclists wet dream!

8 02 2010
Simon

Do they go there from Sylvania Waters? Would make sense.

8 02 2010
Lee

Quite easily from Sylvania Waters Simon, a nice leisurely 15 kays or so on the highway. However Sylvania waters is slowly being bought out by wogans as the original home owners die off. It is very greek at the moment.

8 02 2010
Pete

Drink-driving convictions (which I submit are 70-85% attributable to bogans aged 17-25 years old) can lead to the involuntary taking up of cycling.

The thought of such cycling bogues being verbally abused by vehicle-driving bogues makes me smile.

8 02 2010
amr

Point taken TBL. I guess my point was more that cycling had become a must do by once a week fat riders who splash close to $10K on a hardcore bike, because they can and it is ‘in fashion’ now thanks to the Tour Down Under with Lance and Co here in sleepytown. Their ride might only 15kms before stopping for coffee and a full breakfast before trudging home again. Only to mouth off on Monday morning about their hardcore weekend ride.
Seems to be a lot of these in my little world.
Wasn’t talking about actually riding as a form of commuting. I know this is not in the bogan vocabulary.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Cycling? Commuting? This isn’t The Netherlands.

8 02 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

You ever tried catching public transport in Melbourne?

8 02 2010
Bogue

Yes, and there weren’t very many Dutch people.

8 02 2010
Toddo

Bogue, if you are game, take a visit to the Bogan capital of Australia, Armadale W.A. or a pleasant visit to Tasmania, if you want to see Dutch People.

8 02 2010
AJ

the best thing about armadale is the road goes straight through the town. would be even better if they built a bypass. somewhat ironic that armadale now hosts the head or the river.

8 02 2010
Toddo

The best thing about Armadale, is that you can sip on a coffee from the dome or other coffee franchise, and have front row seats to the boxing.
A picturesqe town, with history that will never reach its potential.

8 02 2010
JimmyMac

I ride at least 75km a week (mainly to de-stress from work but also cos I’m a fat bastard), and some of my riding mates just don’t understand why I’m entirely unkeen to break up my ride with a big greasy breakfast. The one riding buddy who does do the full sponsor lycra thing is also the slowest and most aggro. The rest of us made the effort to find non-garish and yet still suitable clothing. It’s not all that hard. Oh, and it’s a heckuvalot cheaper than the sponsorware, too!

My main problem seems to be drivers who “forget” that cyclists are oncoming traffic, and who fail to give way. Fortunately, I do my rides well before 7am around quiet suburban streets, so that isn’t too much of a problem.

8 02 2010
Tone

We’ve had this discussion before. Should a Things Bogans Dislike blog ever surface (and by golly, the thought of starting one myself and recruiting regular TBL contributors such as Steve of Sunshine has crossed my mind more than once), Cycling would be #1 on the TBD list.

8 02 2010
Simon

Tone,

You are a man of class and understanding. I would read your blog particually if Steve is contributing.

8 02 2010
shazza

I think you may be getting your bogans mixed up with your wankers amr.

8 02 2010
Tone

^ true

Here’s a refresher, courtesy of the greatest social commentators of our times, TISM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4vSEXvLsx0

(subtitute ‘yob’ for ‘bogan’ – this was recorded in 1998 back when ‘yob’ was the more common term – if you’ll excuse the pun – for a bogan)

9 02 2010
I'm Rick James.

I’ve been wondering of late if the TBL writers are in fact the masked ones that once were TISM. The witty pseudonyms, the cynical observations…… Could it be?

Flattering, but we’re all very much from Generation Y. TBL

9 02 2010
Bogue

I haven’t seen any reciting of the lyrics to ‘Morrison Hostel’ or ‘I’m a Bogan Baby’ on here, so probably not.

9 02 2010
Thomas L. Pennyfeather, esq.

I think ‘Abusing Cylists’ is a definite TBL topic.

I haven’t copped much abuse out on the bike, but the times I have it is always from people driving Commodores (especially VR/VS models), Falcons and Hiluxes – all Bogan chariots.

It’s like how Americans don’t understand cricket – Australian bogans don’t understand a European thing like cycling. And as for the wearing of lycra, if you’ve ever had chafing of your man regions, you would understand why.

8 02 2010
Lee

Shazza, what about anyone who wears a surf brand and never goes to the beach? Or people who walk around in RM Williams or Wrangler gear and have nothing to do with horses or even the country? How about the mid-life bogans who get around in nautica gear and are lucky to get on a boat once a year? Or little kids getting around in their favourite footy gear? As amr said by your description there is no difference between these and the lycra brigade or indeed nearly the whole population.

8 02 2010
shazza

The difference Lee, is the wishful thinking behind wearing such clothing. People who wear Billabong or Rusty clothing don’t claim to be on the surfing circuit with Taj Burrows or Layne Beachly. They simply like the style. Wearing Team Holden/Ford clothing seems an immature attempt to feel part of the crew.
Very different motives.

8 02 2010
Nelson Esq

Spot on Shazza. Whether it’s HSV or FPV gear, when worn by a 50 year old pittcrew wannabe (who’s probably still in denial over the death of Peter Brock), it’s tragic. I saw three of them together out at Knifepoint on the week-end and they just looked sad. I can understand if they want to wear the gear while attending a race meeting, but to put on the full regalia for a trip to the mall…

Though you must admit that the Dick Johnson / Jim Beam Racing or Kelly Brothers / Jack Daniels racing merchandise is a double hit of boganity; V8 Supercars and bourbon!

8 02 2010
Lee

If you say so……

8 02 2010
shazza

So your’e a Holden Racing Team member Lee?

8 02 2010
Lee

No, sorry to disappoint you Shazza. Simply wondering why you singled out people who wear V8 Supercar gear. Did something terrible happen to you inviolving a V8 bogan?

8 02 2010
shazza

No, it just always seemed particularly and desperately sad to me. As the main demographic seems to be middle aged men. Perhaps it’s what you do if you can’t afford the sports car?

8 02 2010
Tone

A variation to this theme is the (usually) Gen Y Bogan/Wogan that wears too much Ferrari gear (more of a Wogan thing than a Bogan thing, but it’s definitely < 30yo males regardless). All Ferrari apparel and other associated merchandise says is 'I can't afford a Ferrari, so I've bought all this crap with the Ferrari logo on it instead!'.

9 02 2010
shazza

I used to believe the same thing Tone. That was until last week when Mr shazza and I had an appointment with a lawyer at our home. I noted during our meeting he was wearing a Ferrari shirt. Which seemed to me to be daggy for a 50 something man of law. Then I noticed his key ring had a Ferrari tag. Again I dismissed it as the antics of a middle aged man recently separated from his wife. When walking him to the door I then saw he also had the car to back it up.
All a bit OTT I thought. Though clearly bringing him much joy.

9 02 2010
Loftie

doing ‘house calls’ in his Ferarri means one of two things…

1). He’s filthy rich and loves his italian thoroughbread supercars… Probably a good lawyer and charges lots… but wins lots of cases…

2). He’s defended some dodgy drug-dealer/tax haven type crook who had to make the vehicle ‘disappear’ into someone elses name before the state impounded it…

Either way – still showing off… no need for the uniform keys/shirt surely…

I’ve never driven a Ferarri – though it is on my bucket-list…

9 02 2010
Jimmy

But is a cyclist wearing lycra, bogans in FPV shirts, lawyers in ferrari shirts … is it really any different to a footy fan wearing the colours of his favourite team? Or an environmentalist wearing a “save the whales” tshirt?

In the end, it’s just people satisfying a need to identify with something…

9 02 2010
Bogue

I question anyone’s need to wear any kind of tribal uniform, bogan or not. What’s wrong with wearing a t-shirt that isn’t a form of propaganda?

15 02 2010
Mr Lee

Middle aged men in sponsor-wear are hoons, not bogans. Plain and simple.

8 02 2010
Storbz

Excellent observation. Saw a NAB in a salmon Ralph Loren polo the other day with a burgundy logo the size of a small country emblazoned on the front.

At first I thought he’d spilt a glass of Jacob’s Creek shiraz (appropriately “aged” or all of 6 months in the wine rack he had installed in his new Devine Homes kitchen, to be all classy-like) down the front of it at one of those ubiquitous Food & Wine festivals the bogan likes to frequent these days, but alas no.

8 02 2010
berihebi

Nice post TBL. I think Bogans have embraced the Japanese who sometimes have non-sensical English slogans on their clothes like “Happy Day is bounding of Joy”. In fact, similar to the San Francisco example the bogan shirt may often these days display the name of a Japanese city with a Chinese character or two and a made-up sporting team name like “Kyoto Eagles”.

8 02 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Funniest one I have ever seen was from a guys blog who lives in Tokyo.

Some bogan tool had a tee shirt on with a single kanji symbol that he thought meant samurai.

However a Japanese mate of the blogger told him that the kanji had been slightly misformed and the sysbol was actually the symbol for Hemorrhoids :).

I really detest 25 y.o. bogans with Osaka 82 or Mexico 86 on tee shirts.

i might take this idiocy to its logical conclusion and produce a line of popped collared tees with Hiroshima ’45 or Namking ’38 printed on them. This could then appleal to the moran clueless boganwho would never understand the historical significance or the vulgarity of wearing something so offensive, or the alternative “Fuck off we are full/Celebration of Gallipoli” bogan who knows about the rape of Nanking or the A bomb destruction of Hiroshim, but thinks it is some for of patriosm to “stick to the slopes”, and yell “Fuck Yeah” in mindless affirmation.

8 02 2010
berihebi

“i might take this idiocy to its logical conclusion and produce a line of popped collared tees with Hiroshima ‘45 or Namking ‘38 printed on them”

You should do it. One thing TBL has shown me is how much easy money there is to be made off the bogan. In fact, if it weren’t for the bogan there probably wouldn’t be an economy.

8 02 2010
Bogue

How about Ballarat ’54, to match the Southern Cross tattoo?

8 02 2010
Simon of South Yarra

This blog is getting out of hand, far too much erudition being displayed!

8 02 2010
??

or shepparton 54 and the southern cross tat

8 02 2010
Tone

NYC ’01?

8 02 2010
Anonymous Bosch

I have a Bogan mate who always shops at target. I’m fascinated by their ‘Big Guys’ section – everything has some kind of sporting team / atheletics logo and enormous numbers, which are just going to look awfully-wrong when bent out of shape by XXXXL manboobs. I’m convinced someone in the clothing department is completely taking the piss out of the shoppers.

8 02 2010
Indi

Forget ironic fashion designers – it’s the XXXXXXXLLLLLL tracksuit and the ‘sports shoes’ accompanying them which are truly ironic.

8 02 2010
Kylie

I see a lot of Lorna Jane sportswear in my area…Most often worn on people who don’t seem to partake of very much sport at all.

8 02 2010
Indi

Aspirational.

27 08 2014
Bob

As portrayed by older male characters of The Sopranos – it’s all about the elasticised waistline, that means it never occurs to you you’re just too fat for normal pants!

8 02 2010
AlyssaKT

I questioned a female bogan recently if she knew what the words scrawled across her singlet said;
(“bonjour
au revoir”)
the answer was a predictable “nuh”.

12 02 2010
Rob

Haha I like that! Yet I cringe at the same time.

8 02 2010
reparty

hahahahaha…..my Fred Perry shirts (as pointed out by TBL in the Things Bogans Will Like) are yet to be discovered. But I am really dreading the day I see someone buying a 6 pack of Woodstock and some Cruisers/Dolcetto/Riccadonna/Moscato for the missus sporting the FP. I will then go and ritually burn them all.

8 02 2010
Guinea pig

I’m guessing that the first skinhead or rudeboy to see a popped-collar FP shirt matched with havianas will probably end up on manslaughter charges.

8 02 2010
reparty

Funny thing is I went to see The Business and Sham 69 last year. Almost everyone in the crowd was over 35, and quite a few were old school skinheads, replete with Doc’s, FP shirts and braces. The wife probably let them out to dress up and play with their friends on the night hahahaha, but the bouncers were mostly of Indian extraction and not one fight was started, not one of them was abused. The drinks were all in stubbies and glasses, not one glassing. So either jail and family has mellowed them out, or they are saving up some bovver for the NAB….I think you may be on the right track Guinea.

8 02 2010
persephone

Once a bogan wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt came into my cafe wanting to purchase a Coke. He looked very confused when I told him we didn’t sell it, and completely dumbfounded when I pointed out that he shouldn’t buy that crap whilst wearing the afore-mentioned T-shirt. Turns out he had no idea who Che was, and was just wearing it for the”fashion”. Aargh!

8 02 2010
Olaf

Cliche Guevera I’ve always called those shirts

8 02 2010
Lee

What about the tossers who wear scarfs, with a t shirt and jeans with thongs? If it’s that fucking cold, put a jumper on. I had one try to explain to me that it actually makes a huge difference when you simply make your neck warm……..

12 02 2010
Rob

Oh dear, I think I need to vomit!

8 02 2010
Sten

Ugh… I can’t bloody stand wankers who go around in Che Guevara shirts, despite the fact their politics are probably to the Right of Pauline Hanson’s.

The Left needs a new poster boy… might I suggest Salvador Allende?

8 02 2010
reparty

Very good idea. I once saw a Che-style t-shirt with Tito on it, but that was in an area in Brisbane with a very large Yugoslav population. Allende has so much Left cred I’m amazed he’s not used more.

8 02 2010
Sten

There aren’t many young-ish Lefties in Oz, who aren’t the trendy-arse Uni Pinko types. So who knows? The Allende thing could work a charm!

Or Buenaventura Durruti… he’d be even better for us on the Left who abhor authority.

8 02 2010
reparty

Durriti does tick the same boxes as Che. Plus he has his own band named after him, the kiddies who ‘just love the 80’s, the music was so fucking cool’ would be lining up to buy them when they found out. And who knows, the Durriti Column may sell more than three albums.

8 02 2010
Gav

easy on the “trendy-arse uni pinko” lefties, they’re the writers and most of the readers of this blog..

8 02 2010
Sten

Come to think of it… Allende’s probably quite immune to the crash commercialisation which befell poor old photogenic Che.

8 02 2010
James

You can get the Che style shirts with pictures of Lenin and Marx on them – I have a couple myself. However, when I wear them it is not bogan, it is ironic(al).

8 02 2010
Whistling Nixie

How about one with Michael Moore non it? Now that would be ironic!

8 02 2010
shazza

Perfect example persephone. Here in Perth, we have developed No Che Day T-shirts.

8 02 2010
JimC

But the hipster faux-intellectual chicks love a guy in a Che Guevara shirt.

And any cluey hipster who wears one knows he’s only one Nick Drake CD away from scoring with her.

8 02 2010
Bogue

No, no, no…Che Guevara was soooo 2008.

8 02 2010
Simon of South Yarra

I remember the Che tee as being 68 ish, 78 ish, 88 ish, 98 ish, is there a pattern?

8 02 2010
Bogue

Just when you think his popularity has decayed, here comes another decade!

8 02 2010
Whistling Nixie

Strange, because the “iconic” photo was taken in 1960.

8 02 2010
DP

Best Che Guevara t-shirt I have seen had the traditional iconic motif with the following caption:

Who the fuck is this guy?

I wanted to buy one. Does it make me shallow?

8 02 2010
ozsasin

I was in the gym on friday afternoon and there was a chick wearing a Ho Chi Minh teeshirt. To make thinks more interesting, this was the Army gym at Bandiana. I can only assume she was a civvy bogan, not an Army bogan.

8 02 2010
Indi

Vietnam is a very popular and cheap holiday destination. You are of course assuming some consciousness of history: maybe she just like the city so much she thought he kust have been a nice man.

8 02 2010
James

There is a theme developing though – remember the lady who was charged in Toowoomba for fighting naked in the street with another woman in a housing commission neighbourhood – named Kaysahn? Perhaps Vietnam is the new Thailand…

8 02 2010
Indi

Pretty much, and Laos (and if you painfully hip the final ‘s’ is silent) is the new Vietnam.

8 02 2010
Shandarleeer

Its worse when you see gays and lesbians wearing them, if they had any idea of what Che G. did to queers (ie. rounding up queers and sending them to work camps) they’d be horrified.

8 02 2010
Sten

Hahaha… love it. One classic sighting I remember was from a couple of years ago. I was near the Sydney Football Stadium when I spotted two Bogans wearing polo shirts similar to the ones described above, but notably, the huge numbers were in Roman numerals! Funnily enough, the Bogan on the left was wearing a number 6 shirt, the one on the right a 9 shirt.

Sexually confused? Or just clueless? I didn’t pursue the issue any further, having no wish to be picking through the gutter for my teeth.

Oh, and of course their collars were popped.

8 02 2010
reparty

Also, with the whole popped collar thing. I recall back in the day that it was only the First IX types that did it, along with wearing socks and boat shoes with shorts. Bear with me here, but in Freakonomics they sort of conclude that baby names that are popular with those that are perceived as being in the higher social strata filter down in 10 years. Is it true to say the same of collars?

8 02 2010
JimC

I saw an internet meme which said ‘I Pop My Collar And The Bitches Holler’.

I thought that was pretty funny. But I guess it must be true if so many young, dumb bogan males are doing it. And as we all know, the young, dumb male bogan only ever does anything if he thinks chick will ‘fink he’s full-sick ‘n that.’

8 02 2010
Indi

In the case of collars maybe 25 years – how long has this been going on? In the early eighties’ it was very boarding school for girls to pop the collar (just like the boys), on a woven shirt and accessorise with pearls. Similarly the polo shirt or rugby jumper for both sexes – it was almost a sort of frill-necked lizard mating signal.

Socks with boat shoes? Lord, that’s just daggy.

8 02 2010
shazza

If I recall correctly Indi, those shirts had to be Lacoste.

8 02 2010
Indi

A discreet Ralph Lauren logo would also do.

8 02 2010
Simon

Indi, those girls are now mums but still with a pink polo, popped collar and pearls, plus of course large 4wd to do the school run in. How did your celebrity party go?

8 02 2010
Indi

Less hideous than expected, if you ignore nine-year old girls in kitten-heeled gladiator sandals. Among those attending were people there who calmly disciplined their children – amazing! What is a Hannah Montana when it’s at home?

8 02 2010
shazza

Billie Ray Cyrus’ daughter.

8 02 2010
Indi

Poor thing.

8 02 2010
Bec

I remember that… Late trend adoption? Big with fashion, beauty trends and baby names.

8 02 2010
Keith

This is when I started triple checking that my collar was infact down.

8 02 2010
Loftie

obviously MUM still does his washing…
wearing 4 t-shirts… what a toolbag…

8 02 2010
Bogue

Maybe he’s just very determined not to get sunburnt?

8 02 2010
Bogue

“If you ask a dilettante bogan why it is wearing a yellow t-shirt with “San Francisco Bears 74” scrawled across it, do not expect to get an answer that contains actual insight.”

HAHA! And you’ll receive similar insight if you question me about the results of the 1970 World Cup, in regard to my trendy green ‘MEXICO70’ t-shirt. My BQ rises once again.

8 02 2010
Andy

In case it ever comes up, Brazil won it, defeating Italy in the final.

8 02 2010
Bogue

OK. I thought it might have been the one Honduras went to war over…the only person who’s paid the slightest morsel of interest was a guy from Peru, who also had no idea who won.

8 02 2010
Bogue

“If you ask a dilettante bogan why it is wearing a yellow t-shirt with “San Francisco Bears 74” scrawled across it, do not expect to get an answer that contains actual insight.”

HAHA! And you’ll receive similar insight if you question me about the results of the 1970 World Cup, in regard to my trendy green ‘MEXICO70’ t-shirt. My BQ rises once again. However, in my defense, it has no collar, additional printed text, nor has it been artifically faded.

8 02 2010
Bogue

One more time…woo!

8 02 2010
amr

What about Elwood tees? Who is Elwood? I have seen more of these than Ed Hardy. Mind you, I didn’t really know about Ed Hardy until the TBL post.
Such is the sheltered life I live.
Far more singlets here, in building site blue and USA basketball style around where I live.
I do have a quiet chuckle at the overweight/obese bogan adorned with clothing manufactured by sporting goods/clothing companies.
With of course the standard running shoes, only for comfort of course.
I just wonder why you ever would wear such clothing.

8 02 2010
Adam

Elwood “I survived the running of the bulls Pamplona,1996”

I wonder if anyone who has ever purchased these t-shirts ever in history can actually claim that they indeed attend the above. Doubtful to say the least, and yes boganic in the extreme. I am fairly sure the only reason they wear them is because they are somewhat figure hugging so that they can display their HUGE GUNS!

8 02 2010
Mark

What about t-shirts with slogans like “I swear to drunk I’m not god!” or sexually suggestive ones like “I eat killer pussy” accompanied by a picture of a cat, geddit? who needs pickup lines?

8 02 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Hows about the one I saw in Melbourne CBD the other day “Duck my Sick”.

I suppose these “slogan” tees are the new decades version of Fcuk on the mid naughties.

My how the boge is sticking it to the man.

8 02 2010
Mark

but then again, I don’t think it’s as common these days, they join inane Facebook groups and pages instead of wearing t-shirts with inane slogans on them…

8 02 2010
Indi

It may have just been sage advice for those late night denizens to avoid the chunder down under.

8 02 2010
Peter

Agreed on the Elwood tees. Who or what is Elwood? They’re frequently seen. I usually mutter under my breath hey, Elmer, you knobwrench.

8 02 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Why so many people are promoting a Melbourne near-city beach escapes me! maybe they work for Glen Eira council?

8 02 2010
Bogue

Maybe it’s the beachside lifestyle? If there’s a new marina development, it’s possibly that they live there and brandish the name on their clothing so that the Indian taxi driver knows where to take them when picked up drunk outside Crown Casino?

8 02 2010
Kaiks

I always told myself that they must be ‘Blues Brothers’ fans.

8 02 2010
AlyssaKT

Still waiting for the Jake shirts

8 02 2010
djm

I saw my first Ed Hardy t-shirt yesterday (in Brunswick!?). Fortunately TBL had prepared me for the experience. Thanks.

8 02 2010
Lee

“Please read this while I stare at your tits”, “Im not a gynecologist but i’ll look into it” and another with “Great tits” written on it and a pair of sparrow like birds underneath it.
Various drug references have also popped up, the latest was a guy wearing a shirt that said “Ian Hard” on it, nothing else.

8 02 2010
Mark

“sex instructor, first lesson free”

8 02 2010
brad

Drugs Free- seriously,free drugs

8 02 2010
Linda

I love popped-collars with fake tans on metro-bogan men.

8 02 2010
Linda

I was kidding for those you nearly died of shock.

8 02 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

I believed it.

8 02 2010
JimC

Plenty of women do, it seems.

8 02 2010
Paul

Not so long ago there were “Cuba ’62” tshirts out there that many bogans obviously thought were supportive of Cuba. Some warm island somewhere, probably lots of tinnies and easy chicks, so Cuba’s cool, they probably figured. I pointed out to one that ’62 and the Cuban Missile Crisis were a big defeat to the USSR and Cuba. All he could say was, “I’ve got the biggest missile in my jeans, maaaaatte!”

To quote Eric Cartman, “Poor people p*ss me off”

8 02 2010
Tone

I’m not (really) a bogan, but my fashion sense makes a statement, that statement being ‘As a matter of fact, yes I DO buy my clothes from Vinnies!’.

8 02 2010
Peter

Fake tans are horrid. Men who sport them deserve contempt.

8 02 2010
Linda

it makes me laugh

8 02 2010
Fishmouse

You know, the young NAB do the same thing with Band t.shirts. As a music fan who goes to plenty of live gigs, I occasionally strike up conversation before hand. with people wearing band shirts, hoping for a stimulating talk about music. A frequent offender from last year was The Clash. A basic example goes:

Me: What is your favourite song of thiers? (refering to thier replica vintage shirt)
Bogue: Song?
Me: Yes song. They’re a band. (sometimes I clarrify by mentioning thier hits)
Bogue: Band? *cocks head and looks confused* Na. Izza hot fashion label. Dun’t ya know anythink.

No Bogans have been killed for thier crimes against music. Yet.

8 02 2010
Simon

John Farnham will be first.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Hopefully he’ll fall on top of an Australian Idol contestant in the process, and crush them with his girth.

8 02 2010
Simon

Bogue,

In our lovely home town, at festival de bogue (Clipsal v8 race), one of the concert nights features Idol contestants, maybe we could go along and do some glassings?

8 02 2010
Indi

So violent. Couldn’t you set up some maria Carey or Whitney Houston-themed competition so they could melisma themselves to death?

It’d be fitting if they popped, but they’d probably just quietly burst a blood vessel in their brains.

8 02 2010
Simon

Nah, Mariah would pop, she is looking quite pumped up these days. Bogue is from Port Adelaide so he will know how to handle himself.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Yes, stay inside.

8 02 2010
Simon

I was out your way Sunday, sound advice.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Perusing at the plastic Chinese craftwares at the Fisherman’s Wharfe markets? Or shopping for some waterside views at Newport Quays?

8 02 2010
Simon

Actually cycling to Outer Harbor and trying not to get wiped out by bogans in Nissan 200s, with Frangipani stickers.

8 02 2010
Bogue

…and isn’t there a lot of them, bless their creative souls.

8 02 2010
Simon

Yeah, The screamed abuse out the window is always unique and witty too.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Passed down through the generations, no doubt. Vintage intollerance and brainlessness, a real treasure. You’d be better off cycling out that way whilst the Clipsal is on, at least before dark and they begin returning home from the ‘big smoke’, gassed to the eyeballs.

8 02 2010
Simon

That week I strictly head to the hills and only early in the morning before they get up. It is too dangerous for me.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Look out for Mount Barker resident’s drifting their Commodore’s right at you on the way there.

8 02 2010
Simon

Yeah, stay off the Norton Summit – Basket Range road where motorcyclist also through themselves at you doing 150 km/h around bends.

8 02 2010
amr

I too reside there Bogue! Not Newport Quays, though it is cheap to rent……

8 02 2010
Bogue

Ah, the joys of the Port. No wonder there’s so many of us on here! Never mind amr, I have it on good authority that, the Port is ‘coming along’…whatever that means. So, I’m sure we’re only minutes away from our first arthouse cinema and Fringe performance venue. Shall I hold my breath?

8 02 2010
amr

Bogue, the Port is not coming along. As someone who is understands what is happening and why, it is a very long way from ‘happening’ due to past mistakes.
I do enjoy living here though, met some crazy people, literally.
If you ever want to catch up let me know.

8 02 2010
Simon

The melisma is a common feature of Stevie Wonder’s music; the trend in R&B singers is considered to have been popularized by Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love”.[2][3][4] In recent years, there has been increased criticism of melisma being abused by singers, in part due to the popularity of shows such as American Idol and the trend of contestants imitating the artists who popularized the technique.[5]

Just so we all know. Indi occasionally makes words up.

8 02 2010
Indi

No, you occasionally find things that the internet doesn’t contain.

8 02 2010
Simon

No way!

8 02 2010
reparty

Easy on the Hills folks people! My dad’s family hails from that fair part of the world, or as my mum likes to call it Children of the Corn Country. Last time I was in Adelaide I took my grandfather to see Uraidla play….once again she was spot on about the place. But I like to still think of it as a fall back locale for the Flame Trees video, even now. Am now desperately trying to find a photo I took at a Norwood Port match featuring what I believe to be the last three old school Port bogans who still go to SANFL matches.

8 02 2010
Simon

Do you hear dueling banjos when you drive into Uraidla like I do?

8 02 2010
Tone

Mount Barker doesn’t count as part of the Adelaide Hills. The only people that count Mount Barker as being part of the Hills are people from Mount Barker. And 90% of people from Mount Barker are bogans. Make of that what you will.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Mount Barker is even geographically separate from the rest of the Mount Lofty Ranges…even the landscape wants nothing to do with it.

8 02 2010
Bogue

So, start the night off with a few glasses of Church Block Cab Sav and then cut sick (excuse the pun)?

I played a show in Port Augusta once (twice, actually, I was a glutton for punishment) where one of the locals was so offended by our original rock music, they requested we play some Whitney Huston or acts of violence would be carried out on us. With only 3 teeth, I didn’t think this shy wallflour of a girl had much to lose from punching on…however, we took the risk.

8 02 2010
Simon

Bogue,

Can you Melisma?

8 02 2010
Bogue

Only on weekends.

8 02 2010
Simon

That will do, you are now ready for your Idol Audition, may I suggest you go with Whitneys classic I will always love you so you can show your skills.

8 02 2010
Bogue

That sounds too hard…why don’t I work on a timeless classic (say, CCR’s ‘Proud Mary’), then butcher it with vocal gymnastics until it’s unrecognisable, then no-one will no it’s pure gibberish?

8 02 2010
Simon

Works for everyone else, go for it son. Not sure CCR will cut it though, none of the judges would know who they are and they don’t like that. Stay safe and redo a Snow Patrol hit Mariah style, you can’t go wrong.

8 02 2010
Bogue

Excellent idea! You are very good at this Simon…are you sure you’re not Dicko?

8 02 2010
Simon

Yeah, not sure where that came from, promise I do not watch it but the trend seems obvious enough from the ads on TV.

8 02 2010
reparty

Sorry Simon have to reply here……the banjos start humming in Summertown and start deafening at the Uraidla Hotel.

8 02 2010
reparty

A bit mean on my part, one of my fave aunties is still there! But as I’m too old to get free fritz and sauce from the butcher I don’t get up there as often as I should.

8 02 2010
Simon

Free fritz, ah the joys of childhood in SA. I need to see your photo if you find it.

8 02 2010
Lee

Too true fishmouse. There was an epidemic of young bogans who got into wearing shirts from Led Zeppelin, GnR, Motley Crue, Radio Birdman, The Ramones, Dead Kennedys and so on. All of a sudden it stopped in the blink of an eye. They must have either a) actually listened to the music they were promoting and decided they didn’t like it or, more than likely, b) turned 18 and got into the ministry of sound chill out sessions after all night benders in the cross.

8 02 2010
Valo

I’m a big Ramones fan, however I was saddened to see that Quicksilver are now producing the classic Ramones presidential seal t shirts on a mass basis. Ask the bogues about a Ramones song and they’ll say they ‘loike dat hey ho let’s go song I heard on Guitar Hero’.

8 02 2010
brad

young hipsters/whatever wearing 80s metal t-shirts,you had too earn the right too wear a Maiden top or an Ozzy print in public when i was a young bogue

8 02 2010
Lee

I used to get pulled up about my Led Zeppelin shirts all the time as a young “westie”, however I knew the band and it’s music inside out much to the suprise of the middle aged dregs trying to hassle me.

8 02 2010
brad

earnt

8 02 2010
Valo

Which is fine if you are a genuine fan of the artists.

1 03 2010
pb

as someone who also enjoys live music and buys band t-shirts i’m with you on that. but it is generally quite easy to tell who the people are who’ve bought a band t-shirt because they think it’s ‘cool’ and yet know nothing about said band and those who actually would be able to name their favourite clash song or album, to use your example.

2 03 2010
Rob

Hilary Duff wearing a Motorhead t-shirt covered with glitter springs to mind….

I’d be dead embarrassed to wear a band shirt if I didn’t have at least a couple of their albums.

25 12 2010
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

If that had happened to me, I would have just glassed the carnt then and there.

8 02 2010
h

THIS is the best post so far.

There is nothing I hate more than a numbered T-shirt.
Yuck.

It is the trade mark of the male bogue, just as Kookai is the trade mark of the female bogue.

That is all.

8 02 2010
Bec

Kookai is doubly horrid because they refuse to sell clothes above a size 8-10. Not joking on that. About half the clothes sold are thus to people who don’t fit into them properly.

8 02 2010
Nelson Esq

I went out for drinks with a few mates on Friday after work and one mate brought along a work colleague of his. He was about 30 years old and looked fairly hip. He wore modern designer glasses, designer jeans and a black polo shirt, with the big horse and IV sewn onto the sleeves. The shirt looked similar the one posted on this blog. No popped collar though.

After seeing the shirt, I immediately summed him up as a NaB. After speaking to him, I found him to be an intelligent guy, who earned a good living in IT. He spoke well and didn’t come over as overly bogan. I began to question my perception of his boganity and wondered if the shirt and the rest of his clothing was because he was a cashed up hipster Gen Y? Just because I wouldn’t want to wear what he had on and because a bogan might like polo tops with big horses, it doesn’t necessarily make him a bogan. The differing tatses in clothing may have been a product of us being of different generations. I’m sure that he wouldn’t particular want to wear anything that I would consider for my own wardrobe either. Confusion reigned…

However I laid that confusion to bed when he ordered a Jack Daniels and coke…

8 02 2010
Peter

Jack Daniels if its got a job, Old Crow if it hasn’t. The other noticeable difference is the vast quantities consumed by the later. It’s often a plausible explanation for the differences.

8 02 2010
Nelson Esq

He does have a job and he drank Jack. He kept himself tidy throughout the night, didn’t start a fight and wasn’t slurring drunk when he left under his own steam…maybe he’s not a bogue and just has a Gen Y taste in clothes…and alcohol…

8 02 2010
brad

or he had a good bag of bogan dust?

8 02 2010
j-ho

Didn’t know about the Jack Daniels and coke as a bogue drink. Learn something new everytime I read this post…

9 02 2010
Lee

I am a big fan of Jack Daniels. The bogans in my area or rather at my local wont drink it. “Nah fuck that shit maate, jimmy all the way”. So I leave them to their Jim Beam (which I reckon tastes like petrol compared to J.D.) and their “house” bourbon.

9 02 2010
Nelson Esq

I don’t drink Bourbon (I’m an Irish Whiskey man) and consider that all bourbon in general can be classified as bogan juice. However I would say that some Bourbons are more bogan than some; Jim Beam or Wild Turkey = very bogan and as the few bourbon drinking non-bogans I know only drink Jack Daniels, I would consider JD to be less bogan.

I would consider how you drink your whiskey to be a far greater indication to your level of boganess than the type of whiskey you drink, whether it be Bourbon, Scotch or Irish.

Generally, mixing your whiskey with coke (especially in a pre-mix can) is very boganic. Drinking it straight can be bogan or non-bogan, depending on your intentions. Mixed with ginger ale is not really boganic. On ice or with soda would be considered not boganic.

With just a splash of still water to help unlock the aroma and flavour of the malt is the way God intended an Irish Whiskey or wee dram of fine Scotch to be enjoyed! Very non-boganic.

9 02 2010
Indi

A man after my own heart.

How can the proper mixed drink be re-instated? Let’s start with in a glass and each one fresh, with bitters, ice and maybe even a garnish. Or will this simply be the cause of another marketing fad? Have I already missed the Donna Hay book?

There’s an event: Donna Hay’s Requiem

9 02 2010
Nelson Esq

Indi, the only proper mixed drink in my book is a real Martini; I like mine 3 parts Bombay Sapphire Gin, 1 part Cinzano extra dry Vermouth, and with at least 3 stuffed Spanish olives (because I like the way they taste after soaking in alcohol). The Martini has been somewhat forgotten for a while and quite frankly I wouldn’t want it re-instated as it would surely be hijacked by bogans and ruined for the rest of us for all time. If you don’t believe me, see what try-hard liberated femme-bogues did to the Cosmopolitan after watching Sex in the City.

Also, if anyone thinks that a proper Martini is made with Vodka because that’s the way James Bond drinks it, they are wrong! The Vodka Martini was Ian Fleming’s little joke to make the seemingly perfect man imperfect. James Bond may have been suave, sophisticated and handsome, irresistable to all woman and continuously saving the world every other week, but he had no idea how to order a Martini!

9 02 2010
Lee

I agree with the still water in a fine scotch however I am not a scotch drinker. I will drink JD on ice at home, if I am out I will buy it in the glass and purchase a can of coke rather than the post mix shit they pass off as coke.
Jack Daniels technically isn’t a bourbon whiskey but a tennessee whiskey, the difference being in the mix of grains and the distilling process, the details of which I am not sure.

9 02 2010
Nelson Esq

I stand corrected, JD is not a Bourbon. To be called a Bourbon, the whiskey must be predominantly made from corn. I think from memory, rye is the predominant grain in JD, not corn. But I think it’s the locaton of the distillery which makes JD a Tennessee whiskey, not because of the rye content.

9 02 2010
brad

JD should only be consumed from a poured bottle with ice and dry at home or in good company otherwise couger all the way ha ha

8 02 2010
Robbie

If the guy was ‘about 30 years old’ then that would make him Gen X.

8 02 2010
Loftie

Only just… 1981 + (these guys are 28/29 this year… thats ABOUT 30 years old… isn’t it??

8 02 2010
Nelson Esq

I thought that 1979 was the last of the X’ers. Given that, being 30 he would be either the last of Gen X or the first of the Gen Y’s. We older blokes did tease him during the night for being Gen Y and he never denied being a Y or corrected us.

He was ribbed about the shirt being gaudy and my mate who brought him along did ask him if he played polo. Gen Y replied, “No, the shirt is just a fashion statement”. Rather fitting, given the title of this blog.

Giving credit where it’s due, he was not a bad bloke and he had a good sense of humour. I’d drink with him again…even if he is a Gen Y bogue (maybe)…

8 02 2010
Loftie

A Fashion Statement or a Cry For Help??

8 02 2010
Right and proud

Haha, FINALLY! I was wondering when this topic would get posted on here? As a male in your 20’s, it’s fairly hard these days going shopping for t-shirts that aren’t garish, have random shit on them that makes no sense, the name of a fictional sporting team that won a non-existent competition and/ or meaningless numbers on it. And on the other hand, you don’t want some daggy looking shirt that men in their 50’s get around in. The only ‘number’ shirt I have actually represents something. It’s black with a gold number 12 on the front, and on the back ‘Circuito Estoril 85 Ayrton Senna’. I’ll leave you to look up what it signifies for yourself. I wear it, feeling safe that if someone WERE to come up and challenge me on the meaning of my shirt, I could tell them a no bullshit story.

As for the fad with numbers on shirts and fictional sports-team shirts, methinks it comes from the bogans’ love of ‘jock’ culture, and to be seen as athletic and tough and good at sport by the fem-bogues. Kind of like the fem-bogues putting frangipani stickers on their car to give the impression of being gentle and feminine.

Great post!

8 02 2010
Indi

Giordano is your answer. They have all the splattered, distressed and mis-printed stuff, (so 80’s fashion forward in The Face), but also a good range of solid colour t-shirts, both long and short sleeved.

8 02 2010
Right and proud

I found a shirt at Target for $19, just plain grey and red stripes but near identical to shirts you see in other stores for $40! And no big numbers or irrelevant garb like ‘San Andreas Grizzlies 79’ on it.

8 02 2010
Indi

Target have an intriguing design policy- they have commissioned homewares from name architects and designers and regularly have well-known clothing designers produce designs specifically for their in-house brands. All at a price point and produced in China, but well-designed. They probably sit there, unappreciated, in many stores.

16 02 2010
Peggsy

THIS was a great post!

8 02 2010
Benjamin Hill

So everyone, what do you wear? I know wearing anything but the entries shake down on the bogan attire would leave you without your daily blog and nothing to do apart from talk about text message abbreviations and John Deere hats, what I want to know is what are the non-bogans wearing?

8 02 2010
Right and proud

Non-bogans wear clothes that are original without being crass. They wear clothes that are comfortable and suit them instead of trying hard to be the tough jock/ celebrity slut that they think will get them kudos.

8 02 2010
AJ

i remember the days when you bought a green machine and you got given the hat as a thankyou (early version of the alcohol customer advertising product discussed the other day) for buying green.

9 02 2010
Benjamin Hill

Makes me glad I have my Iseki or MF hat to wear to the ute muster.

8 02 2010
Tone

As I said earlier, Vinnies. Or maybe the Salvos if I’m feeling decadent.

8 02 2010
Simon

I go for a suit work days and casual clothes sans slogans, labels etc the rest of the time but never a tracksuit of any kind.

8 02 2010
Apple Pie

Bogan undergraduates studying Social Work, Events Management and Sports Administration, opt for a big NIKE at least somewhere on their shirts…they’ve overheard somewhere that NIKE stands for Slave Labor, but they don’t give a rats if it’s true or not… and…
they would buy a million of these…. (big font)…
” WORKCHOICES 07 ” …(then small font)..” bringin it to da people “

8 02 2010
SM Adelaide

The idea of bogan social work students frighten me, as an underlying professional principle of social work is respect for all human beings, not exactly what we would associate with bogan behaviour…..

8 02 2010
shazza

agreed SM Adelaide. Perhaps Apple Pie meant Engineering students?

8 02 2010
Apple Pie

Social Work or study does not necessarily endow compassion, empathy and human endeavour. These things you either have…or you don’t.
Many who work and study in this field will scour the internet for most of the day from 9 to 5, seeking the lowest interest rates for their third or fourth investment property.
Time consuming it is, and some appointments with the riff-raff may need to be postponed for another day.

9 02 2010
shazza

Oh please Apple Pie, your’e clutching at straws now. As a former social worker I assure you it is not a highly paid profession. Investment properties are not in abundance amongst that particular profession.
And learning about the plight of others does instill compassion, (sociopaths aside). The idea that human indeavour is innate, or not, is also incorrect. Humans have the capacity to be many things at many times. Teenage years apathetic, inspired and pro active in the 20’s, focussed and determined in 30’s, and so on.

9 02 2010
Apple Pie

shazza, some sweeping statements there.
FORMER Social Worker ? what are you now ?
Not a statistician or researcher, I bet.
btw…the only time I ever clutch at straws is on Tuesday nites when I go all in with my 6 and 2 off- suit.

8 02 2010
Guinea pig

Sports admin? This is THE popped collar crowd, along with the human movement/ B.Ed (phys Ed) folk of both sexes. With their white shades (Oakley, natch) on their heads and ASICS kayano on their feet, they are quite the model of “collective individuality”.

9 02 2010
Indi

Anyone else read Martin Amis’ ‘Yellow Dog’? His main character’s most successful seduction line was “Let me get you out of those nasty clothes”, which had started out as a humourous line, but turned into his real opinion. Who hasn’t seen an otherwise attractive young person and thought similar things about their hair/clothes/makeup?

8 02 2010
Valo

I hate those shirts with a passion. Whenever I see an ‘Osaka Dragons 69’ or ‘Mexico City Stallions 74’ shirts I cringe. Maybe that’s why bogues try and fight people all the time, their slavish desire to follow one another has led to them wearing these stupid shirts or pink polos with the collar popped, has infuariated them to such a point that they are ashamed to be seen in these clothes, hence the popular refrain heard in pubs and clubs around the country: “Oi cunt, wot the fark are you lookin at, do ya wanna farkin go?!?!?!”

8 02 2010
spatialthoughts

Someone touched upon the vintage band shirt earlier and as an extension of that idea, the use of punk iconography in fashion shirts makes me weep. The four black bars of Black Flag, the Ramones symbol, the Misfits skull and others have been incorporated into fashion shirts for the fashion conscious (clueless?) bogan.

8 02 2010
Valo

Some people wear the Misfits skull logo and don’t even know they are a band.

8 02 2010
GuyLeDouche

Queen St Mall Brisbane is the epicenter of random t-shirts with meaningless crap, Holden/Ford racing team, Elwood, Osaka Dragons, Teams that don’t even exist from Countries the owner have never heard of.

Fortitude Valley Brisbane is the evening epicenter of random t-shirts with meaningless crap, Holden/Ford racing team, Elwood, Osaka Dragons, Teams that don’t even exist from Countries the owner have never heard of. The difference being that %99 of Male patrons have white shoes on, %99 of the Female patrons have the same black dress. They all spill out of maxicabs or daddies car with half empty Breezers.

Live it up, well it’s the 90’s isn’t it?

8 02 2010
Mark

There’s nothing wrong with wearing vintage tshirts with sports teams, just as long as they’re teams that actually exist, or did exist.

There’s nothing wrong with wearing punk band tshirts, as long as you’ve actually heard them and like them, and aren’t attending the show of the band whose tshirt you’re wearing.

And there’s nothing wrong with wearing fashionable political tshirts, as long you understand what you’re wearing

But there is everything wrong with wearing ‘salmon’ polls with popped collars, fluro, and tops with meaningless crap on them, so I totally agree with righty, it’s hard being a male in your 20’s and finding anything decent in shops.

9 02 2010
Rob

“Boganic” is perhaps the most awesome word ever coined.

9 02 2010
Going bogue

The more I’ve read of comments on this topic ad the (somewhat justified) attacks on t-shirts in particular, makes me think that we’re getting worked up over very little. I myself have a few t-shirts with numbers and sporting teams in them, but I didn’t buy them for the numbers – I bought them because of the cuts and colours. The problem is that it’s just fucking difficult to buy t-shirts that don’t look like that.
I think we should be focussing our vitriol on the 2005-2007 resurgence of fluoro and acid wash. Wayfarers with fluoro arms and the proliferation of Country Road navy / black check shirts.

9 02 2010
Kellum

“the hipster district of Melbourne frequented by TBL authors”

Hey, I’ve driven past Lillian Frank’s Salon!

9 02 2010
h

Going bogue,
Sorry but the bogans are the ones that wear the T-shirts with numbers and the kids wearing the acid wash are not. This is about the new bogue NOT the old acid wash wearing one. I have seen plenty of non numbered T-shirts. The irony of the new bogue is that he/she will only shop at certain stores (LIVE/ZANROBE) which only sell numbered outfits as the places that sell plain attire are not “cool” enough.

9 02 2010
Going bogue

I’m talking about acid wash Stevie jeans which retailed for $200 , not those from Dimmies or Forges which were actually bought in the 80s.

9 02 2010
h

Mark,

Depending on wear you live, skate shops are good places to shop for non numbered plain T-shirts.

9 02 2010
nauseated

You can also tell a bogue by the intense amount of unflattering jersey and slub cotton they wear. Supre and the like sell it because it’s insanely cheap to manufacture.

Oh yeah, I went there.

9 02 2010
Han

There were no less than three separate Ed Hardy t-shirts featured on one of those “airport” shows the other night. You know, the ones about bogans who turn up late and miss their flights, and are sent into a fit of self-entitled rage because the airline won’t let them board.

9 02 2010
boag's draught

I like how you had to link to the wikipedia article on Fretilin, implying you didn”t think the smug, tertiary educated readers of your blogs knew who they are either.

Another of our reasons for existence is to assist in the development of bogans who wish to become less bogan. We shall nurture them. TBL

10 02 2010
Joey Joe Joe

there’s a hipster district in Melbourne? The inner suburbs to the north of the CBD are the closest thing to that I can come up with, but roll down Brunswick street on a Saturday night and there are popped collars aplenty.

10 02 2010
Simon J

I’m frustrated by the writing on this site. Some of the articles, like the Ministry of Sound entry above this one, are pulled off rather close to brilliantly. The thought lines are phrased neatly and succinctly and it’s clear whoever writing knows how. Then there are articles like this one here. These entries are clearly written by someone copying desperately the style of much more talented authors. The message is lost in a garble of awkward phrasings and terribly parsed sentences, as if the author has written down his or her thought in a blinding pace, trying to type so fast as to take over his or her own mental processes. We’re left with terrible, strangled utterances like, “This possibility can safely be eliminated, as the bogan does not think in abstract metaphors such as that.”
Please TBL, I know you probably don’t make much money, but do try and get your more talnted writers looking closely over the shoulders of the weaker among your flock.

You’ll be pleased to discover that the same writer was responsible for both of the entries you mentioned! If we only posted once a week, I’d imagine each post would be more polished. But since we have day jobs and miscellaneous hipster activities to indulge in, we do what we can with our daily posts. Due to us not placing any ads on the site, nor flogging any merch/other products, we have not made a cent from this undertaking. All of that said, we appreciate (in a twisted way) the detail with with you must be reading our blog! TBL

10 02 2010
shazza

“..are pulled off rather close to brilliantly”. Glass houses Simon J?

10 02 2010
dnzr

i have a friend that is a designer for a bogan beloved clothing brand.

he smashes out all the shirts in a few hours playing what he calls “bogan bingo”

random city + animal + number, then distorts the font and adds a crest.

done!

10 02 2010
25 12 2010
chubbybloodfart

Gold!

20 02 2010
cosmos

When i see polo shirts i feel like spewing. Unfortunately, living in Wagga Wagga, i feel sick most of the time. What is it with these ugly tops? Women wear them with the collar turned up and three quater pants and drive trucks downtown on saturdays. The whole family gets out and all have polo shirts on! What’s going on? It’s driving me crazy and I feel like screaming at them. On the other hand, I am a bit of an alternative dresser and they are always looking at me as if I come from another planet! I think they are the weird looking ones…clones. The whole damm town dresses like it! We have that Ed Harry shop here too and don’t the bogan guys look stupid! Some guys on here are saying they simply cannot find other clothing. I say just take a good look around and use your imagination when picking your clothes or the look you want to express yourself and don’t be afraid of bogan comments. They are the ones who look silly!

2 03 2010
Rob

I saw a guy wearing a pink t-shirt which said “Naci para leer” on the back. If my basic Spanish is correct it means “born to read”. Do you think he had any idea what the meaning was?

5 03 2010
pb

anyone seen the site ‘those aren’t pants’? http://notpants.tumblr.com/ the comment from lady gaga is as priceless as it is ridiculous.

23 03 2010
john

Palaeo-bogan T shirt from the 70s “I Choked Linda Lovelace”

13 05 2010
sentrabaju

i like this blog..
is good!

1 12 2010
curlyloc

We have CUBs in the “Hunna Valley”, NSW. Cashed Up BoganS who spend their time shopping for clothes in Westfield Kotara to wear the next time they go shopping.

25 12 2010
Ash - Maxxtreme To The Maxx

I used to think my liking for wearing caps backwards and sports team jerseys (although I tend to mix up my standard Cronulla Sharks gear with basketball and American Football stuff, which can confuse the bogans at times) made me a total bogan dresser saved only by my liking for metal band shirts.

However, I can safely say that I believe all the popped collar carnts need to be shot.

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