#70 – Tennis

22 01 2010

This title is perhaps misleading. The bogan does not, in fact, enjoy tennis. Indeed, the bogan is utterly indifferent to tennis for 50 weeks of the year. But, for that shining fourteen days, bogans empty their pockets into the coffers of tennis’ administrators when the Australian Open rolls into town.

Violently ignoring its aristocratic beginnings in the late 19th century, the bogan has ruined yet another event. Champagne and strawberries and cream has been replaced with Heineken and potato wedges, while grace and harmony have been forfeited as weak and unnecessary.

The bogan’s sporadic racism is allowed to enter full bloom during these two weeks, as it selectively filters the global gathering of athletes in order to validate every one of its opinions about places it has never visited. This is best demonstrated by bogans’ attendance at any match containing an Australian. Or someone who was once married to an Australian.

Commentators, fostering this sense of ‘patriotism’, surreptitiously (and by surreptitiously, we mean blatantly and offensively) lend their support to players during their call of the game, by referring to local players by their first names, and spending a great deal of time discussing their excellent play, while dismissing failures as a bit of luck on the part of their opponent. The TV coverage is even better for bogans in recent years as it contains less and less actual tennis, which is substituted for ongoing montages of close-ups of hot chicks hitting shots and grunting to remixed music. Following that will be the ‘Hot Shots’ segment, which distills an entire day’s tennis down to four points which conclude with commentators saying ‘whoa!’

This has hit a progressively larger snag year upon year, as Australian players have sucked more and more. The presence of overtly bogan players amongst the Australian elite has done little to slow the decline of interest in Australian players. As such, the commentators’ attentions had to be lavished on others; to wit, top ten players and attractive female players. The bogan male can therefore spend a great deal of time watching women’s sport – something it never, ever does – perving up ladies’ dresses and skirts under the pretense of enjoying the action. Concurrently, the female bogan can spend a great deal of time watching women’s sport – something it never, ever does – checking out ‘fashion’ under the pretense of enjoying the action.

Having enjoyed the illicit thrill of looking at women’s underwear for some time, the bogan male will then pick up the Herald Sun, Daily Telegraph, or related non-Australian News Corp. paper and glance fleetingly at the headline. This will prompt a long-winded denunciation of the ‘Croatian fuckwits’ behaving like bogans while wearing the wrong flag as a cape, ruining the tennis by getting into fights. Politicians and social commentators then reinforce the belief that foreigners should be banned from watching such a quintessentially Australian sport. The bogan then looks at its watch, realises it’s late for the 20/20 game and leaves. It then returns, sheepishly, one hour later, explaining to all who’ll listen that the security guards at the cricket are all ‘fuckwits’.


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217 responses

22 01 2010
Going bogue

A good one. I’ve been waiting for one of these “pretending to love sport” type entries and just assumed that it would be saved for the cricket.

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Yes indeed. Attended the 20/20 Vic v Tassie match last friday. There has never been a higher concentration of cricket ignorance, both on and off the field, since, well since the last 20/20 match.

35,000 bogans (there was 43,000 attending but there were about 15,000 members, half of which would not be bogan, just curious) who even managed to get the unique, always entertaining, never stale, mexican Wave to go around the MCG.

Couple this scene with the so called cricket itself. Cross batted slogs that get the bogan in rapture, followed by a mid 80’s remixed music sample of about 10 seconds, then, when a real big cross batted sloggoes for 6 – EXPLOSIONS.

This game is bogan Nirvana. Colour and movement, cricket dumbed to to a place where the bogan doesn’t have to even concentrate for 50 overs, remixed music, and to cap it off – fireworks.

The most god awful experience I’ve had since the last time my team played Collingwood.

22 01 2010
Keeping Kosher Klansman

“Champagne and strawberries and cream has been replaced with Heineken and potato wedges.” Golden observation.
“Or someone who was once married to an Australian.” Another one. Notice the Herald Sun still refer to Clijsters as an “honourary Aussie”. Our Kim. Curious behaviour. And incidentally, those young Croatian thugs should “go back where they came from”… Ascot Vale. But bogue interest in the Aussie Open should subside with the untimely exits of Sharapova and Ivanovic.

And yes, anyone doubting Australia’s #1 world obesity ranking should’ve been at the Victoria v Tassie Twenty20 game. A veritable manatee festival. If that statistic graced the MCG megascreen there would’ve doubtless been raucous cheers and fireworks…
May not be #1 in world cricket anymore but we’ve picked up the slack in other areas… so to speak…
And uh, go pies.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Sounds like the crowd had ‘gone’ enough pies already!

4 02 2010
Amanda

You mean people actually watch the cricket Bahahahahahahahahahaha> OMG they must have BOOOOOOOOOOORING lives if they think cricket is intresting! I would rather watch paint dry than that crap thats called cricket.

22 01 2010
Jasper

“The presence of overtly bogan players amongst the Australian elite ”

http://www.lleytonandbechewitt.com

Nuff said

22 01 2010
shazza

Gee Lleyton looks so at home in front of the camera doesn’t he?

22 01 2010
Jaiydein

Oh my, too sickening, Leytons Podcast

22 01 2010
Jaiydein

*** Oops Lleyton, my bad I misspelt the bogan Prince

22 01 2010
Kaiks

You should never feel embarrassed for mispelling any bogans name even if it’s as common as Thomm, Dhyck or Harrie.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

I recall several years ago, an Australian comedy TV talk show with an animated host, which lasted for all of 6 episodes. Can’t recall the name of the show, but I recall an ad for the show where they showed a clip of the ‘host’ interviewing Pat Rafter. He said “Lleyton Hewitt, you love to see him win because he’s an Australian. You love to see him lose because he’s a knob!”
Sums it up perfectly, really!

22 01 2010
Melvos Love God

I had a look at the website and I must say it made me laugh a great deal, good luck to them and whomever loves them but it certainly doesnt do much for me

22 01 2010
Loftie

Oh i like this one!

TBL : “The bogan then looks at its watch, realises it’s late for the 20/20 game and leaves. It then returns, sheepishly, one hour later, explaining to all who’ll listen that the security guards at the cricket are all ‘fuckwits’.”

Classic… hahahah

23 01 2010
Pellegrino

As reluctant as I am to defend anything boganesque, the security guards at the cricket are all fuckwits.

24 01 2010
Gorey

Can you blame them though? Having to put up with bogan dipshits drinking horrible beer and desecrating flags all day?

22 01 2010
megan

Queensland’s most bogan “newspapers”, The Courier and Sunday Fails are owned by News Corp…The Australian is not much better. Blind reliance on the news and opinions within most newspapers in Australia (with no critical thought on the integrity or truth of the contents) is strongly correlated with stupidity and/or boganess. Trusting the mass media (other than Today Tonight)…a potential future post?

22 01 2010
Kat

oh yes please. I am shocked all the time at how many people (not all of them bogans) just absorb the news as coming straight from god.

22 01 2010
Tone

news.com.au is definitely something bogans like, as well as something Bogans actually believe in. Like Hillsong.

22 01 2010
22 01 2010
brad

were you in a court side marquee at Kooyong last week Fiona?,im sure i spoke too you

23 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Not last week, no. I don’t normally bother attending until the end of week two when the bogan element is largely diminished.

23 01 2010
brad

ouch so bad but so good

22 01 2010
berihebi

Anna Kournakova makes me warm all over.

22 01 2010
berihebi

Nice blog TBL too by the way

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

The proliferation of extremely good looking female payers especially from the East European countries in recent times surely has had an impact on the number of East Euro-bogues / wogans attending the tennis to start their rioting.

Strangely enough, I think Marcus Bagdadis is the only male player whose presence on the circuit increased the number of wogan spectators. Must just be the Greek style…

Personally, I’m hoping for a resurgence of the top seeded Swedish players. The Swede supporters were always well behaved and nice to look at; in spite of having yellow and blue painted faces, they’re just as blonde and pretty as the current crop of Russian female players!

22 01 2010
Guinea pig

Nice one. Gratuitous references to our “little Aussie battlers” Lley-Lley and Casey are, putting it nicely, grating, with the worst offender being the coalition’s candidate for Bennelong, one J.Alexander.

Grass-roots Tennis, particularly in Melbourne, is at its strongest in the areas where Fiona and Simon reside and it must pain fans from these suburbs to share breathing space with the young of Balkan and outer suburban descent, particularly when the roof is closed.

15 03 2010
Dave

Good point.

Tennis is really an upper/upper-middle class, doctors and lawyers, rubbish sport and should be left for those sorts of people.

22 01 2010
Robbie

OMG…I think I vomited in my mouth when I opened the website.
Ostraya’s Bogan royality, passing it down to the next generation….

“For the younger ones the Kid’s Mania section includes games, healthy recipes, exercise tips and an inside from both Lleyton and Bec on how they got started in their respective careers.”

22 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Beche witt ?? as in lleytonandbechewitt.com – hmmm

beche is french for spade so beche witt would be spade brain – tennis is a curious milieu

22 01 2010
Indi

Macaronic puns are way above the average bogues head. And that one smells like the cheese has gone off.

22 01 2010
Tubesteak

Even more amusing is ch. 9 trying to get people interest in the Winter Olympics.

Curling is as much a sport as lawn bowls. Which isn’t.

Until discount airfares to NZ the bogan wasn’t much interested in skiing. Now it thinks it can when it heads to the snowfields for a week only to incur injuries in places it never knew it had, spend most of it’s time getting drunk and recovering from a hangover and whining about the cost of add-ons like lift passes.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Bogans? Not interested in skiing? Goodness…skiing and bogans deserves its own thread, what with the ‘snow bunnies’, the overpriced alpine bars, the unbridaled fun with no consideration for others, it’s a veriable bogans powdery white paradise! Not to mention the bogan dream of landing a job in the snowfields and the often imaginary perks.

22 01 2010
hourbyhour

Skiing also has the potential to cause horrific injuries, thus making it TO THE EXTREME! This has immense and obvious Bogan appeal.

Part of the appeal must also lie in very few Australians knowing much about skiing. Whereas any kid can break out the football and cricket bat for a pick-up backyard or street game, thus making said sport (and a working knowledge of it) accessible to any non-Bogan as much as any Bogan, not many can pop out to the alps for a quick slalom down the slopes. Given there’s nothing worse for the Bogan than some uppity non-Bogan having a better grasp of the offside rule than them, or having to watch cricket with some bloke who doesn’t automatically declare a contested decision out because the bowler was Ostraaaaaaaaayarrrrrn, the Bogan has had to branch out into real sporting obscurantism in order to uphold its self-image of testosterone-fuelled sporting warrior. Of course, the moment the Swiss and Austrians turn up, the Bogan is embarrassingly exposed.

Same with tennis – once the poncy preserve of toffs who rather lost interest when the ready fun of laying-off entire workforces and fucking with employees’ conditions became apparent, the Bogan has spotted a gap in the sporting-knowledge market and taken the sport up as its own. But, as with skiing, plonk the Bogan next to someone conversant in the ins and outs of the sport and their distinct failure to grasp anything but the sport’s opportunity to wave a flag and act like a self-satisfied jerk becomes very clear.

22 01 2010
Mark

Because Ostraya is world class at the winter Olympics!!! Our last gold medalist was actually a Canadian spammer, but nevermind that!

Expect stars & stripes coverage from Channel Nein if their British Empire games coverage is anything to go by

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Don’t totally agree. Skiing is still the domain of non-bogues. Bogue to travel to the alpine ranges, not to ski, but to go snow-boarding. It’s always the bogan snow-boarders who ruin the slopes for everyone else.

Wouldn’t the ultimate bogue snow experience have to be one of those motorised snow mobiles, similar to a jet ski? If they got on one of those, you’d have a wannabe James Bond…double-bogue seven!

22 01 2010
Tubesteak

Very good points raised, sir

22 01 2010
docksbox

Speaking for NSW ski resorts:

Jindabyne = Bogan “skiers” (aka Tobogganers – no pun intended)

Thredbo / Perisher = definitely non-Bogan

22 01 2010
docksbox

By that I mean, where they stay when going skiing

23 01 2010
Lee

Bogans love going to “The snow”.

24 01 2010
Gorey

If Alisa Camplin isn’t a bogan, no one is.

22 01 2010
Guinea pig

Ah, good ol’ channel nein, an entity worthy of its own thread if it wasn’t such an obvious choice. You do, however, have to acknowledge that it doesn’t try to overestimate the intellect of its double-digit IQ patrons…always giving the peanuts their monkeys.

24 01 2010
Rob

If you think channel Nine’s attempts are bad you should see Foxtel’s.

22 01 2010
pominoz

I thought tennis was where tv showed a few shots and spent the rest of the time spanning the players guest area for assorted hanger ons. Of course as written in the article above anybody who has the slightest link to Oz and has a chance of winning becomes our “insert name” until they get beaten of course.

22 01 2010
Bogue

God I hate tennis…in an armwrestle for title of king of the boring sports (with basketball and baseball), and featuring such bogan royalty as Newk, Pat Cash, Pat Rafter and li’l Leyton, leave it to the bogans I say.

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

The Aust Open and the other bogan sport festival – The Spring Carnival, are the longest four weeks of the year.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Then you can holiday in Adelaide, for the biggest bogan festival in the known universe, the Clipsal 500! Combined with the newly boganised Adelaide Fringe/Festival, it’s 3 weeks of fun, debauchery and assault charges for all the family.

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Yeah well we have got nouveau bogan Grand Prix week. I am escaping Melbourne for Hong Kong that weekend thank god.

Did the same thing when the Commonwealth Games reeked havoc with a two week binge of Aussie!Aussie!Aussie!Oi!Oi!Oi! as we humbled all those third world African countries and won GOLD!GOLD!GOLD!.

When did the Fringe Festival turn bogan???

22 01 2010
Bogue

When they turned it into a replica of the Melbourne Comedy Festival to appease the masses. The Festival has become the high-brow event, the Fringe makes up for it.

The Garden of Unearthly Delights is to be avoided during the build up to Clipsal, but if you can find a safe spot, it’s fun to watch the angry bogans turn on the free street performers as they unwittingly fall prey to one of their (normally) inoffensive gags.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

And to think what the place will be like if we win the rights to host the Soccer World Cup…the mayhem…I don’t even want to imagine what the boganity levels across Australia will rise to if that ever happened!

22 01 2010
Concerned Citizen

What about Swimming? As bogan as they come.

Cos we win ‘n shit.

(overlooking the fact that apart from the Olympics it’s an individual sport rather than for Australia).

23 01 2010
Mark

bogans and soccer is an oxymoron

to them, soccer is a sport played by poofs and wogs who feign injury in 0-0 draws, it doesn’t involve wrestling with a ball, points for missing, is too long for their attention span, and worst of all, IT’S FOREIGN!!!, so the bogan generally has no interest in the sport.

they won’t watch the World Cup this year, because there will be a conveniently timed press conference just before the World Cup from Chicken Little aka Andrew Demitriou, fervently covered by his friends in high places, about how ALF will NOT stop for the World Cup because ALF is far more important than hosting the world’s largest sporting event (nevermind a previous precedent with baseball, America’s national sport, which still continued during the 1994 World Cup…) and ALF will prevail over the threat of soccer and the GAME WILL NOT DIE!!! and will be echoed by ALF sports writers in all the News Ltd papers, and bogans will buy into it

23 01 2010
Lee

Sorry Mark, soccer is bogan.

24 01 2010
Myah Myah

Referring to football as “soccer” is bogan.

1 04 2010
KL

Not at all. Soccer is just an abbreviation of the correct name for the sport which is “Association Football”. The word “soccer” is derived from “AsSOCiation”.

Furthermore, Australian Rules Football pre-dates soccer in this country by many years therefore rightly can claim the title of “football”.

Traditionally, especially in England, soccer is a working class sport.

23 01 2010
Aj

why ALF not AFL? and yeh soccer is epically bogan.

24 01 2010
Mark

because remember ALF? he’s back! in pog form!

24 01 2010
Lee

Well done milhouse!

24 01 2010
brad

its funny cause its true

22 01 2010
berihebi

Dumping Newk and Rafter into the bogan pot is a bit harsh I reckon as they always seem to have conducted themselves with reasonable decency. Pat Cash had a few problems but he never seemed that bogan to me. Hewitt could have his on post devoted to him although not even bogans seem to like him that much.

I agree with you though that tennis is one overrated, boring sport to watch although I don’t mind playing once in a while.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Hmmm…maybe, but Newk’s beer guzzling hijinx more or less created the blueprint for the bogan tennis player of today. Whether he’s coached the unsporting behaviour of Cash and Hewitt, who knows? Pat Rafter…well, he’s not too bright, but I guess that doesn’t make him a bogan, but gawd the bogans love him, especially the femmebogue.

24 01 2010
dc

newcombe and cash are mortal enemies. newcombe used to have a ghost written column where he slagged cash off, regularly. cash hates his guts. stems from cash rejecting coaching from newcombe as a junior, to stay with his own coach.

22 01 2010
hourbyhour

Pat Rafter is a strange one. Well-mannered, quietly-spoken, modest, well-presented. Not particularly bogan.

Nonetheless, being a successful sportsman, and embodying an uncomplicated brand of blokeyness, he had pronounced Bogan-appeal.

All of which probably makes Pat Rafter something that Bogans like, rather than himself being a Bogan.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Pat Rafter is an interesting specimen. He’s very Australian without being (overtly) bogan and has broad appeal across the sexes, all age groups and all socio-economic indicators. The only other person that springs to mind with similar qualities is Hugh Jackman.

The bogan, however, can take comfort in knowing they’ll always have Lleyton and Rusty to fill their particular niche.

22 01 2010
j-ho

Well done regurgitating the post above yours Fiona.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I merely encapsulated its main point in a far more sensible manner and then, having succeeded admirably at that task (as I always do), I added further salient points to add to its esteem.

So, you’re welcome.

22 01 2010
Olly

Do you ever not LOL?

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No.

22 01 2010
Kaiks

Canned laughter is required.

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Llyeton is a shoo-in for bogan king over Aust Open period.

Also he has the Queen of bogan Chic, Bec as his consort.

22 01 2010
Guinea pig

Newcombe belongs, solely on the basis that he is a jingoistic relic. Cash is more spoilt brat than bogan, as I think he might be from old money, a la McEnroe. Rafter’s kept out of the public eye and generally conducts himself with class, doing a lot of good for the worse off of the world without always broadcasting it.

22 01 2010
Jaiydein

Don’t forget the AFL finals….Always a September to remember, although I do think NRL players/fans are even more Bogan if that is at all possible.
How could I forget Bathurst.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

When I was young and adventurous, I did the ‘Bathurst pilgrimage’. It was 1992, the year of the ‘arseholes’ according to race winner, Jim Richards. I can feel my BQ number go up a few points with that confession.

Camping at the top of the mountain at McPhillamy Park was an ‘experience’ to say the least. When driving through the gates into the camping ground, we were met by a mob of bogans who were encouraging us to do some burnouts. When we didn’t, I was glad we were in a Falcon and not a Nissan, because being boo’ed at would have been least of our troubles.

The hard core, old school bogans up there really have the camping thing down pat. They stay at least a weekand create great canvas McMansion townships, with TV’s, couches and pingpong tables. The toilet block was so disgusting, I’m amazed I didn’t get gastro.

It’s one of those things that I don’t regret and actually glad to say I did it once, but would not bother doing again. To go to Bathurst again, it would have to be in corporate hospitality…with the bogue nouveau!!

23 01 2010
Lee

I must say I do enjoy my annual pilgrimage to the mountain though I havent been able to make it the last two years.

24 01 2010
Gorey

Of course the ultimate irony of that Bathurst race was that Richards’ co-driver was Mark Skaife, who has since become a bogan superhero due to ‘winning Bathurst’ driving ‘Holdens’. Which he was able to do because the Nissan Skyline was so superior to the Holdens and Fords as a race car that the only way they could stop it was to ban it from competing. Because if there’s nothing a bogan hates more, it’s a Jap car winning an Aussie race.

24 01 2010
Lee

And that Mark Skaife had actually been racing cars since the mid eighties. It wasn’t untill he joined HRT full time in 1998 that the bogan embraced him.
Is a knowledge of motor racing bogan?

24 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I would argue it’s the quintessential essence of boganhood.

24 01 2010
Lee

“if it doesn’t involve a ball, it’s not a sport” I haven’t heard that one before, it is incorrect though!

24 01 2010
Gorey

Absolutely Lee. Especially if you know every winner of the Bathurst 1000 right back to when some dude won it in a Mini.

24 01 2010
brad

very bogan and i might add Lee (even though i have been chastised many times by bogan friends for this) if it doesnt involve a ball,it’s not a sport

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Actually, one thing you can say about Bathurst, which you can’t about tennis, is that the bogans really are into it!

22 01 2010
pulang

when i think of bathurst i can’t help but think of the lame tv ads for it (and whatever the imitations are called), which always end with the voice-over bogan saying, “bring the family”!

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Football (AFL), while attended by masses of bogans, is not necessarily a bogan festival.

Spring Carnival and Australian Open, Grand Prix etc are opportunistic events, frequented by the aspirational bogan looking to climb the social scale of self worth in an attempt to diminish low self esteem.

AFL (and NFL) finals are frequented by the tribal hordes of the relevant football team, be they bogan (the majority) and non bogan (like me 🙂 ).

The only opportunism is at the AFL Grand Final where the majority of the crowd is non aligned, however unless the bogan won two tickets from Eddie on MMM breakfast, a GF tickets is outside the finances of the bogan, who would prefer to get shitfaced on Jim Bean and coke watching the “Granny” on their 200 inch plasma with their equally pissed mates.

22 01 2010
hourbyhour

All of which raises another Bogan phenomena: the corporate box at sporting events, wherein a whole phalanx of Bogans attend a sporting match only to watch it on a 200′ plasma telly and swill five fathoms of Crown Lager and petrochemical bourbon mixers. All whilst having a good old snoot about those stupid plebs out in the bleachers.

At least this growing Bogan pastime means they’re cordoned off from the rest of us. Until the match ends and they all tumble out to jostle with and vomit on said stiffs from the bleachers.

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

So true. I have been to said boxes on occasions and the behaviour is appalling.

The gluttony is amazing. Free alcohol to a bogan is just asking for trouble.

22 01 2010
freud's beard

‘free’ is an interesting concept, considering the hyper inflated price of a corporate box with incredibly bad view of the game (at least at Subiaco Oval). So while it is ‘free’, it takes an awlful lot of drinking and eating to actually make it worthwhile. Unless of course you are not interested in actually watching the game, and merely wish to brag about the fact you were in a corporate box

22 01 2010
shazza

There appears to be a large precentage of commenters from the West on this blog. Myself included. Do you have an idea of what your breakdown per state is TBL?

22 01 2010
Toddo

Shazza, I have also noticed this.
W.A would have to be the Bogan state, with Mandurah being the Bogan Canberra of Aust.
Until the rule that forced people to stay at school until yr 12, It was a wonderland for the illiterate, myself included ha ha.
I would also imagine that West Coast supporters are too busy scouring the net for cheap Bali imports to decorate their backyard to read this blog

22 01 2010
shazza

Duly noted that no West Coast supporters had rushed to the defense of their team. Despite the apparent amount of WA commenters.
I suspect the coastal strip from Kwinana to Mandurah is bogan nirvana. With canal living being the zenith of aspiration.

22 01 2010
Toddo

Ha Ha. I never begin with a laugh, but ‘Zenith of Bogan nirvana’ was good.
Safety Bay/Warnbro to Secret Harbour is Pommy Paradise with a palm tree. Neatly trimmed coochgrass on 500 sg m blocks with Mc Donalds at seemingly every traffic light.

22 01 2010
Toddo

whoops Bogan Nirvana, then ‘Zenith of aspiration’. Got to get out the door to beat the traffic…….

23 01 2010
Ghengis

Wouldn’t the Kwinana-Mandurah folk support Freo, for geographic convenience? Oh wait, not even Fremantle citizens support them!!

24 01 2010
Lauren

I lived for six months in Shoalwater and my GODS it was bogan heaven. I had to move out of there because I just couldn’t handle it. While I lived there, a massive street brawl broke out in the main road. I got to drive through it on the way home. Its a shame, because it really is a beautiful part of the world.

WA really is bogan nirvana. Its quite shocking and this coming from a girl who grew up in south west Sydney!

22 01 2010
Toddo

West_Melb, regarding your evaluation of AFL games, if you ever have the misfortune of going to a West Coast Eagle home game, you will be the only non-bogan there. Freo games however, have a few left over old schoolers from South Freo days, but are definately the thinking mans support base.

22 01 2010
shazza

As a Dockers supporter I thank you Toddo. Though one may well question the soundness of mind of anyone who chooses to follow said team.

22 01 2010
AJ

i second this

22 01 2010
brad

try Richmond -inlaws family are fanatics,poor souls-masochists

22 01 2010
Bogue

Franchise clubs like are perfect for the shallow football fan interested in hype and victory – bogan flypaper. So, you’re likely to be an orphan amongst huge armies of bogan families at an Eagles, Lions or Crows game. That’s why, despite not being Victorian myself, I support a victorian club…after all, its not about location, surely it’s about the passion for the sport? Go Sainters (BQ needle quivers).

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Fellow Sainter 😦

Best game of football I went to where it was a no bogan zone was the Grand Final on 2009.

The only supporters of the clubs the Saints and Cats were true football supporters, therefore, after the game as we all trudged out extremely dissapointed, not one Geelong supporter had a go at any opf the Saints fans.

These supporters are not into supporting the game toslag opposition supporters and understand what it is like to lose a Grand Final.

22 01 2010
brad

both said supporters are golf clappers
go pies

22 01 2010
Bogue

Nice to have something to clap about. 😉

24 01 2010
James

Wow, you have Internet access in HM Barwon?

22 01 2010
shazza

Hype and victory? As a Dockers supporter I have no idea what your’e talking about.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Exactly…neither you, w_m_a or I belong in that category (well, maybe there’s been a little bit of hype for the Saints recently, but I’ve almost ignored it, it’s so foreign), so we’re on the right track to avoid being sucked in to the stereotypical bogan footy supporter.

It’s worth pointing out that I found this wonderful encylopedia of modern Australian culture via a Saints forum (w_m_a?)!

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

lol – did you now?

Which football bogan at that forum would have posted such a thing?

Not one that lives in Altona and derides the great unwashed that sits on the Moorabin Wing??? 🙂 🙂

22 01 2010
Bogue

Needless to say, it was a SENSATIONAL find…some merchant banker posted it. 😉

22 01 2010
hourbyhour

Let me guess – it was posted by a merchant banker having a giant moan about how those ‘hipster fags’ were ‘taking the piss out of working class Joes like you and me!’?

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

Is that rhyming slang? 😉

22 01 2010
Bogue

Ha! A Cockney Saints fan, me ol’ china?

23 01 2010
Right and proud

I actually became aware of this site on an NRL forum. Having travelled to most away grounds in the NRL (with the exception of Townsville and Auckland) I would have to say the most bogan fans in the NRL would be Cronulla supporters. Sure, Penriff fans may be more your flanno-wearing, long-neck drinking kind, but Sharkies fans are your Southern Cross tatt, ‘Fuck Off We’re Full’ variety. With alot of peroxided hair to go with it!

22 01 2010
Andy

As a genuine Formula One fan, I avoid the Melbourne GP like the plague. It’s either ridiculously hot or freezing and wet, overpriced, and worst of all, it’s packed with bogans. Particularly loathsome are the ones who are draped head to toe in Ferrari red, but would go blank at the mention of anyone who drove for them pre-Schumacher. Besides all that, it’s a better sport to watch on TV anyway.

22 01 2010
Bogue

T’was the same in Adelaide too, the behaviour is worse now its V8’s, and the crowds are bigger. A friend of mine was a Fosters ‘Bevpacker’ back in the F1 days, being an attractive young lady in a one piece bathing suit and high heels, with a drum of Fosters strapped to her back…every fat bogan’s wet dream.

It’s bogan ettiquite to this very day, to whinge at suburban BBQ’s statewide about ‘those bluddy Victawreans stealin’ our Grand Pree’, as if the car had been invented by Steve-o Daimler in his shed out Angle Vale way.

22 01 2010
Bogan Town Escapee

I dont think the Melbourne and Adelaide races even slightly compare to the annual bogan convention that is “Indy on the Gold Coast”. Somehow all the femme bogan’s are suddenly interested in motor racing and its somewhat socially acceptable to walk around in a bikini. Add strippers on balconies and the bogan’s taking their kids along – needs its own entry.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Hmmm…sounds pretty similar to the Clipsal 500 me, which is the more highly attended of the two…not that I’m encouraging a ‘boge-off’ here, as I’ve got no doubt Queensland is chockers with good bogan stock, including 50% bogan tourists from South of the border!

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I must say how much I enjoy seeing all the Wogans walking around in their collared Ferrari shirts after the race too. Thankfully, never to be worn again.

22 01 2010
Andy

“Thankfully, never to be worn again.” Until next year.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, as with all things bogan, a new purchase (of substantially the same item) is made the following year.

25 01 2010
Frazer

You’re quite right, the shirt must have the latest sponsors logo.

22 01 2010
Loftie

I’m looking forward to this year’s F1 season…

Bogans will be so confused…
They’ve got all the Ferarri gear, but Schumacher is driving for a different team…

Which team to follow???

*Frantic look to the left, and then right*

23 01 2010
Andy

Now that he’s winning, I suspect many will jump on the Mark Webber bandwagon.

23 01 2010
Right and proud

Who the fuck is Schumacher?

Senna= God.

21 01 2011
LLP

Senna is cheating tosser.
Who drove for 2 of the biggest cheats in history, Mclaren and Honda.

23 01 2010
Lee

Cronulla supporters are a disgrace, they only go to home games, heckle the opposing fan base to the point of violence throwing bottles and cups at you on the way out then urinate all the way up woolooware rd on the way to northies.
Perfect example was the season just gone when they beat parramatta at parramatta, the sharkettes had a diehard group of a couple dozen fans and that was it. Not a bogan cunt amongst them.

24 01 2010
Myah Myah

Parramatta are bogan

24 01 2010
Lee

Parramatta are bogan, but cronulla are outright cunts!

25 01 2010
Right and proud

Parramatta, Penrith and Wests Tigers fans are (to a certain degree) “westies” or your old-school bogan. Canterbury and (to a lesser degree) St George fans are wogans. Sharks fans are your garden variety noveu boge- big guns from getting huge, Southern Cross tatts, chunky white sunglasses and muscle v-neck tees, all made funnier because they think living in the Shire, drinking Corona’s and wearing Chanel or Ed Hardy means they aren’t bogans!

Manly fans have a lot of cunts amongst them too. Anybody who has been to a Manly home game (as an opposition fan) where the Sea Eagles have won knows what I mean.

25 01 2010
Lee

Yes I have been to “Brooky” as an opposing fan, once was enough. Now I think about it, that was one of the very few times I have been to the northern beaches and if you have no need, dont go! Give me shire bogans any day over the fuckwits that live over there!

21 01 2011
LLP

Whats wong with supporting Ferrari?
At least they arent selling out their heritage and jumping on the Webber bandwagon. Now thats who the real bogans support.
Aussie sporting fans are as one eyed and as insular as Yanks these days.
Any Aussie no matter who has to be supported until he/she leaves the sport, then they dont care about it.

22 01 2010
S-Man

Don’t be knocking Newk and Pat Rafter. The other two are fair game.

22 01 2010
Bogue

Are you defending them because you yourself are of bogan extraction? I’m calling ’em…bogans.

22 01 2010
S-Man

Yeah that’s it, you got me.

23 01 2010
brad

rugby union late at night always cures my insomnia

22 01 2010
Kris

Definitely think the topic of this entry needs to be re-titled STAT, in keeping with previous entries it should read:
(RUINING THE) TENNIS
a la – (RUINING) MUSIC FESTIVALS, (RUINING) THE MELBOURNE CUP etc etc… Otherwise, great work, and topical too.

22 01 2010
Pto

Slightly unrelated, but how patronising is Channel 7 with their “womens matches must have one female commentator, men’s matches must be exclusively male” policy?

22 01 2010
Simmo

Let’s not forget the colorful displays of bogan support for players. With such catchy chants as “Let’s Go Let’s Go”.

22 01 2010
Simmo

Let’s not forget the colorful displays of bogan support for players. With such catchy chants as “Let’s Go…. insert name here ….Let’s Go”.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Hmm. I just had a new tennis court put in too. Do I need to have them all removed now?

22 01 2010
Bogue

Maybe you could turn it to your advantage by converting it into a half-court tennis complex and charging bogans addmission?

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You must be joking. I already spend a small fortune on 24/7 security to ensure NO bogans have access to my estate.

22 01 2010
Bogue

I hope you’ve screened your security…you may very well have been infiltrated professional bogans. Who knows, in your absense, the professional bogans may be allowing their bogan friends onto your property, sunning themselves on your sun-lounges, drinking your vitamin water!

22 01 2010
Indi

Perhaps she likes a bit of rough trade.

22 01 2010
Loftie

I am a relatively good climber…
Those high bricked walls and tall leafy trees aren’t big enough to keep me out… 🙂

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG, well, then I hope the burly security guards are!

22 01 2010
Loftie

Lucky i’m far more nimble than said burly security guards… those fellas would be way better off patroling an underground carpark than your fine residence…

perhaps you could make me head of security at your abode… i would ensure that no bogues (or anyone else for that matter) compromise the security of my fair lady….

22 01 2010
Indi

Lady Chatterly meets Eliza Doolittle?

22 01 2010
Loftie

Wow thats very impressive Indi…

Speak of early 20th century theatre productions wouldn’t normally grace the pages of TBL…

My Flirtatious advances on Fiona are genuine…
there is something about her that I am completely Infatuated with about her…

22 01 2010
Indi

Well you have a clear run, except for those security guards. Never underestimate the appeal of someone in a uniform called Dragan or Zoran to one of the Anglo upper class.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Rest assured, your infatuation is neither welcome nor reciprocated.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Why the need for a tennis court, Fiona? I thought you would be a member of Kooyong Tennis Club?

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of course I am. Amongst others. Still, I (now) have three courts of my own. I had enough room between a few of my pools to fit one in, so I decided to try my luck with a proper clay court. And no, that is NOT en-tout-cas.

22 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Speaking of Kooyong, when is the davis cup being played there again?

22 01 2010
AJ

make it a grass court. too much effort incvolved in maintenance for the bogue

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. As if I care about a lowly matter such as that. That’s what I have staff for.

23 01 2010
Bogue-ironic

oh come on fiona a woman has needs
never know loftie might just rock your world

23 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. He’s more likely to rock my roof. Assuming he has a strong arm. Which he probably hasn’t.

22 01 2010
Linda

Lleyton and Bec’s website made me throw up a little in my mouth. HOW SELF-CENTRED IS THAT? far out.

22 01 2010
Bogue

You’re on a hiding to nothing there…if you swallow it, you’re even more self-centred, if you spit it out, you’re a disgusting bogan! I feel for you and the unfortunate position you’ve found yourself in. I guess it’s a lesson in taking Bec and Lleyton to flippantly.

22 01 2010
Linda

Figure of Speech but I’m sure you understood what I meant! 🙂

Yeah I have learnt the lesson.

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. OMG, the horror… I hope and pray you are wrong. 😦

22 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

“Lleyton and Bec’s website made me throw up a little in my mouth. HOW SELF-CENTRED IS THAT?” – He courted, she scented, now it’s centre court/stage,

By the way, anyone remember the slightly ridiculous names their children have? Don’t bother, not really interested.

Frankly, the requirement that players must do interviews after their matches really detracts from my life – They didn’t interview the gladiators or the lions after their matches and they were life and death!

22 01 2010
shazza

I agree re. post match interviews of any code There is a reason these people play sport.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

I recall one post cricket match interview with Brad Hodge after he smashed Australia to victory in a ODI a couple of years ago. I don’t speak fluent boglish so have no idea what he said; he was truly the worst I have ever seen or heard being interviewed. Needless to say I don’t think he’s ever spoken on television again.

22 01 2010
AJ

that hurdler girl that won silver at beijing.
sally whatshername- OMG did you see me, did you see me. I was sssssssooooooo fast. OMG…
educated people- groan

22 01 2010
Indi

Old enough to remember That’s Dancin’? the post-routine interviews with the contestants struggling to catch their breath were exquisitely amateur. Paul Newman and Maureen DeLacey- where are they now?

22 01 2010
shazza

The overworked cliches. “We put our heart and soul into it”.
Oh the mediocrity.

22 01 2010
Indi

Every week ‘the beautiful Latin’.

Cicero, Seneca or Ovid’s ‘Silver Style’?

22 01 2010
shazza

I never cease to be astounded by the continuing success of Dancing With the Stars. Are those people really celebrities? I couldn’t place half of them in a line up.

22 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Post-match interviews make me cringe. They remind me that TV needs to be turned off after the final siren.

Take a listen to any AFL footballer, the word is “obviously”.

Obviously the players wanted to win today.
Obviously we knew it was going to be tough today.
Obviously everyone was playing football today.

So the obvious question is, if it so obvious, why did it need mentioning?

22 01 2010
Simon of South Yarra

Don’t forget the execrable “We came to play”, “the group had a meeting during the week and decide to do everything right”

22 01 2010
Indi

‘Just as well it wasn’t to display your rhetorical skill’ flashes through my mind.

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

“It was a game of 4 quarters…”

22 01 2010
shazza

“The boys had a job to do, and they did it.”

22 01 2010
Nelson Esq

Gary Ayres is probably the most prolific with the verbal tripe after games.
“We couldn’t have done it without the Abletts, the Chapmans, the Bartels, the Lings…” You’d think Geelong had 36 on the field, at least!

22 01 2010
Tone

“and they were leading from the front” …

22 01 2010
Indi

‘It was a tough game of footy’- you were expecting grand opera?

22 01 2010
jay

what about a post on post-match interview clichés?

22 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

yeah-nah

22 01 2010
freud's beard

god, yeah-nah kills me!
How do you think you played today?
Yeah-nar, we played well.
Do you think you will win the final?
Yeah-nar, it will be tough, but yeah-nar, we’ll give it our best.
What in the hell does yeah-nar mean?? I think its bogan for um. I imagine some ‘media trainer’ has told all the players not to say the word um when on telly, so all we’ve got is ‘yeah-nar’

22 01 2010
Indi

champagne football

22 01 2010
Pete

My favourite is the sentence that starts and ends with the word “so”, with the second one left hanging (For best results imagine a strong nasal tone):

“So, yeah the boys put in 110% and I couldn’t be no prouda, so….”

23 01 2010
Pellegrino

Interviewer: Verily, good folk, ’tis with good fortune that I now speaketh with valiant Sir William, champion of the joust. Prithee, good sir, regale us with your fair opinion on how thou didst farest this morrow?

Sir William: Yea-nay, methinks I didst giveth ten percent greater than the maximum. Forsooth, did I convey 110%. ‘Tis not to remove any suggestion of skill from my brave opponent, who is indeed a man of great temerity and fortitude. But yea-nay, as Evensong draweth nearer and this day comes to a close, ’twas he who proved more skillful on the field. And stuff like that.

23 01 2010
Bec

Lol-eth.

23 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “I say old chap, hoss and I gave it the full college try in the second chukka, but full credit to the other chaps, they really were the better team on the day. Kudos to them”.

Such a cliche at the sporting event I most attend.

22 01 2010
Gav

Don’t forget the shameless self-promotion on channel 7 to dazzle the bogan masses. Not only do they get a perve watching the majority of televised womens matches but also get a sneak peek at the upcoming “US #1 Hit” Cougartown in the break..

22 01 2010
lil lleyton

As Lleyton Hewitt has tried to rehab his public image and move on from his more traditional bogan roots he has become a far less successful tennis player. In his younger days he was foul mouthed, rude, literally hated the media, talked about his love of midnight oil and had long dirty hair tied back in a rat tail/pony tail. But he was number 1 in the world. For 2 years. He seeming cared about nothing but tennis. Even his long time girlfriend was a fellow tennis player.

Now he is out of the top 20 and hasn’t been anywhere near a grand slam final in 5 years.

His fall coincides with his marriage to Bec and his subsequent attempts to market his own family. The midnight oil love has been replaced by lunch with the Rossdales, Gavin and Gwen, his long hair is now a coiffed, 5 years out of date, David Beckham faux hawk, and his hatred of the media has been replaced by million dollar ‘exclusive’ New Idea photo spreads, and terrible self designed Logo’s which wont appear on anything unless Lleyton actually starts winning things again which is very unlikely.

As a true 52 week of the year die hard tennis tragic, it deeply saddens me what has become of our Australian number 1.

We should have all known what was to follow when we saw what the rest of Lleytons immediate family were named. There’s Glynn (father), Cherilyn (mother), Jaslyn (sister) and Lleyton himself. The ultimate family of silly bogan names.

22 01 2010
Pete

There’s nothing more irritating than hearing a self-centred, smug sports bogan talk only about themselves after the match – win, lose or draw – and never mention their (usually humble) opponent.

22 01 2010
Tom

Slightly off the current topic but definite worth a mention on TBL

“I was wearing a high-necked designer singlet”
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/not-in-that-singlet-mate-20100121-mmmo.html

Good get, Tom. we’ll put on the facebook group. TBL

22 01 2010
Bogue

Holy crap! What’s a high-necked singlet look like? I’ve never heard of such a thing…or reverse sexism…is that where you’re overly favourable to one particular sex? It sounds like reverse racism.

22 01 2010
Nicki

I love tennis! It’s the only sport I have an interest in.. oh well, if that makes me a bogan, I’ll live with it.

22 01 2010
Paddington

Things haven’t been the same, TBL, since # 65. I miss the good old days. Sure, I’ll give you # 67, but the rest … oh, the rest. Wherefore art thou?

All of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time…
We’ve put quite a lot of research into next Monday’s entry, and we hope you enjoy. TBL

22 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I do agree the frangipani post has thus far been the high water mark.

22 01 2010
John Vardanega

Yep, stuff that has little-to-no significance to sane people, yet a mass proliferation throughout society, are the real money shots.

Tennis doesn’t fit that category. Dicks are to be found everywhere and the Aus Open was never going to be an exception.

In one sense, a rehash of #17.

22 01 2010
Gav

Just after a few commercials from your sponsors TBL?? Hyping up next weeks instalment, you’re research hasn’t been watching bogan tv specials like Australian Idol or Masterchef has it by any chance??

22 01 2010
Paddington

I’ll look forward to it!

22 01 2010
Jack High

I too have noticed a massive rise in complaints about fun-police at the cricket. Oh for the days to be surrounded by drunken youths hiring beer wenches dressed in bikinis to go to the bar and bring back 20 full strength ups of hot flat sponsor’s product which the youths would then skull – sometimes 8-10 rounds before the first break, not to mention the pre-loading at nearby hotels.

Cricket fans were then guaranteed the drunkeness would soon result in a punch-up when an unitoxicated spectator interested in the cricket would complain about being covered in urine when the mexican wave went past. Perhaps the non-drunken spectator would complain about his 12-year-old daughter being vomited on by a blue-singlet wearing thug who was there to drink beer, create fear and chew his ear (off). Perhaps he would complain about crudities being directed at his partner.

Ah yes, those damn fun-police have spoilt all the joys of a summer’s afternoon at the cricket. The bogans do hate the fun police.

22 01 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Aaah the cricket. The last bastion of blue-collar male piggery. No PC group can infiltrate it, no hairy-legged lesbo shiela can quieten it down. The beer, the sunstroke and the stupidity. Even douchebags can slip into the fold, take off their shirts, pretend to like cricket and act out their animal tendencies. Regardless of what kind of woman you are, wandering past the Adelaide Oval hill is a bit like Jodie Foster walking through the corridor of freaks to Hannibal Lectors cell. Fat, skinny, ugly, cute or underage – the boys have a tired and crude chant for you.

My cute Asian girlfriend asked if she could come to the cricket with me a few years back. Absolutely not!! was my reply. I told her it was so I could get drunk with the boys but that was only part of it. Even if she walked out alive – what she would have gone through would have caused long-term suffering.

23 01 2010
Pellegrino

Funny how the most vocal critics of intervention by the “fun police” are generally the same dickheads who made such intervention necessary in the first place.

22 01 2010
Salaam wa aleikum

Better than being ‘in’ Lleyton I guess. I think Lleyton will look John Howard when he is old.

I was at the rowing some time back and they even drew a bogan crowd. One cannot escape the ever increasing bogan range.

22 01 2010
Toddo

Check the link next to the designer singlet bloke about Bogan Weddings.
That was the funniest thing I’ve seen for ages. Bogan is truly global.

22 01 2010
shazza

I’m surprised to note there is yet to be any mention of Tomik, the 17 yo who complained about being up at 2am. He looks like bogan material but perhaps his lament makes him anti-bogan

22 01 2010
SW Adelaide

Hating the fun police should be a future topic

22 01 2010
Yeti

And more journalistic gold from my Sunshine State.

Surely this must be a future TBL subject, “Lack of funds ends Brisbane bid for cougar bash”.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26617646-3102,00.

html linked to this site…

http://www.cougarevents.com/Australia.html

22 01 2010
Azza

Yeah I rad those today! Young child mauled by staffy in Burnett? The parents only had dog for an hour! Did you read that?

22 01 2010
Azza

Nobody mentioned another reason why bogans are attracted to the ladies playing tennis. Lesbians. I was once a linesman at a challenger tournament and was talking to a fellow linesmen. Apparently there are heaps of lesbians on tour!

23 01 2010
Bogue

Only bogans that dig chicks that look like university professors or male gym instructors.

23 01 2010
Pellegrino

This isn’t strictly confined to bogan circles, but I see it exhibited by those with boganic tendencies moreso than others. I find it incredibly amusing how people/bogans become instant sporting experts from the comfort of their own armchairs (and often the day after the match/event).

I find this particularly piss-funny during Olympic events like the diving, when you’ll see people sit back, critiquing the dive. “Ooh, yair-nar, the twist was a bit rough ay, and some splash at the end… 8.5 at the most, mate…”

Naturally, with the winter Olympics not far off, we’ll see slalom and luge “experts”[1] come out of the woodwork and offer their opinions to all and sundry, incredibly loudly.

——

[1] – Who’ve probably never seen snow in their lives.

23 01 2010
Bogue

Or wait for the next ‘Bradbury moment’, pointing and guffawing at the ‘loser’ who accidentally finished first when someone in front falls over (of course, ignoring the fact that even if Steve Bradbury’s opponents hadn’t fallen over, he’d still be the 5th best in the world for his chosen sport, hence, about a million times better than those pointing and guffawing at him).

23 01 2010
??

great post. i’ve been waiting for this one to make the list

23 01 2010
Robbie

@ Pellegrino…I totally agree with you about the armchair experts but I think you’ll find diving may not be as popular with the bogan as it once was due to our Gold medal winner from Beijing, Matthew Mitcham announced he was ‘gay & proud’.
Wouldn’t want the other bogue’s thinking you were a ‘fag an that’

23 01 2010
Scipio

Bogans love Australia day, they drive around with those small flags out their car windows

23 01 2010
Daniel

The bogans watching at home (that can’t get tickets and drive their 4WD/ Holden/ Commodore into the city) are targeted nonstop in the advertisements for Delfin, Metricon and whatever other McMansion building conglomerates there are out there.
It really is viewing heaven with the occasional shots of minor celebrities and real life bogans clad in green and gold and semi-regular close-ups of obscure “hotties” from Eastern Europe.

24 01 2010
StuManChu

Bravo TBL, bravo. Once again you nailed it. Well done on the 70th post as well. By the amount of comments being made on recent posts it would appear that TBL was a hot topic at Christmas functions around the country. Any thoughts on Giant Prams?

24 01 2010
SSM

It’s actually Serbs in that picture wearing flags as a cape.

24 01 2010
Alice

“Commentators, fostering this sense of ‘patriotism’, surreptitiously (and by surreptitiously, we mean blatantly and offensively) lend their support to players during their call of the game, by referring to local players by their first names, and spending a great deal of time discussing their excellent play, while dismissing failures as a bit of luck on the part of their opponent.”

^ John Alexander and Chris Dittmar are the main culprits for this. Chris Dittmar’s “commentary” of the Verdasco vs. Ball (first name “Carsten” – bogan, much?) illustrated the above, perfectly.

29 01 2010
Laura

“The bogan does not, in fact, enjoy tennis. Indeed, the bogan is utterly indifferent to tennis for 50 weeks of the year. But, for that shining fourteen days, bogans empty their pockets into the coffers of tennis’ administrators when the Australian Open rolls into town.”

Precisely my observation, year after year…

As if the sheer gratuity of this game in the papers and on telly every January wasn’t bad enough, adding insult to injury is the ad nauseum crowing of the boganic temporary tennis fans.

And about Lley-Lley, I ain’t even going there…..UGH. King of the the CUBs.

29 01 2010
Laura

Just remembering Lleyton’s racism-imbued, spoiled-sport little tanty he threw a few years back is enough to turn my stomach. BIGGEST BOGAN EVER.

29 01 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Speaking of bogans and tennis… A match between Henri Leconte and Lleyton Hewitt would have to be a bogan’s wet dream.

http://www.theage.com.au/sport/tennis/clown-prince-henri-serves-it-up-his-way-20100128-n1so.html

5 02 2010
hats

I have just discovered this site, and have to say-pure genius. This tennis entry is amazing. Looking forward to reading the rest!

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