#57 – New Year’s Eve

5 01 2010

Much like the rest of us, the bogan enjoys heading out for a night of fun and frolicking, unencumbered by the inhibitions that alcohol has the glorious ability to strip from our nocturnal selves. However, that is frequently the point where the similarity between the modern bogan and, well, everyone else, ends. The bogan, in its quest to do everything ‘to the extreme’, will invariably wind up putting away fifteen Jagerbombs before closing out the night with a Tequila Suicide and a couple of ambiguously identified pills.

And there is no greater opportunity for the bogan to indulge in this kind of behaviour than on the 365th night of the year. New Year’s Eve is, quite naturally, associated with various forms of overindulgence for almost everyone, and hence to do it in a dangerously epic fashion is something of an annual rite-of-passage for most bogans. Originally, the bogan was unfussed by the where and how of its yearly binge of self-destruction, but, as the nouveau-bogan trends became clear, and police began to worry about the number of foreigners being brutally beaten, the move to push bogans indoors gained momentum.

Naturally, canny publicans have latched on to this phenomenon, and begun offering ‘tickets’ to attend their ‘NYE parties’, which tend to involve, well, a pretty normal night out, but with a price tag of $250, and the ability to co-mingle with a couple of hundred other bogans. The bogan will then proceed to drink $80 of alcohol and eat three spring rolls. Sometimes, an actual event is organised, offering a litany of bogan clichés, generally revolving around DJs that one may have heard mention of at last year’s NYE function, a failed rock band, loads of extremely drunk femme-bogans, and a venue that for 364 other days, furiously avoids the clientele it, for once, deigns to attract.

The bogan, presented with the option of paying an excessive amount of money for something it could ordinarily have for nothing, is drawn, like a moth to the glowing blue death-light, to these inner-city locales, looking to get laid. Of course, by 1am, it is clear that, in its horrifically inebriated state, getting laid is unlikely, and hence it will take to the streets with its posse, looking for Indians to bash.

Or, there is Sensation™. Or Falls Festival, giving the bogan the chance to combine massive overindulgence with ruining gigs for everyone else.

The bogan then awakes, feeling furry, in an unidentified bed, and begins groggily preparing for the new annual bogan tradition: New Year’s day. No longer does the massiveness of one night satisfy the bogans’ urge to ‘go hard’ and be seen to ‘go hard’. No, today, there are festivals, held on the day after the night before, that tend to involve many huge bogans wearing white singlets and sucking on Chupa-Chups, bearing the occasional femme-bogan on their shoulders in a manner reminiscent of various South American primates.

The bogan cannot ruin this festival. It already sucked.


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77 responses

5 01 2010
hindustan

having read this, it seems clear that there are WAAAY too many days on the bogan calendar…

5 01 2010
Indi

And eventually it all ends up at Boost, where the delicate bogan constitutions can be suckered into thinking they are doing themselves a favour, beginning a New Year’s resolution, to eat more healthy, and shit.

5 01 2010
berihebi

It was huuuge! We went hard man. So shitfaced. Awesome!

5 01 2010
Linda

Yet another great post!

I’m guilty of some of these things. *looks down*

and I’m guilty of making yet antoher NY resolution that I probably won’t go through with.

5 01 2010
Gorey

New Year’s Resolutions are for bogans too, because everyone else realises they are a complete waste of time. If you’re going to do something to better yourself, you’ll do it regardless of what day of the year it is.

5 01 2010
Linda

I agree with you… haha

5 01 2010
Beck

“The bogan will then proceed to drink $80 of alcohol and eat three spring rolls.” *tee hee*

5 01 2010
Tubesteak

No mention of the yin and yang symbol featured on the Harbour Bridge during the fireworks display?

I thought that was a gift for TBL. Much like the bogan love of fireworks.

It makes them like heaps spiritual and stuff

5 01 2010
JimC

So can we blame bogans for tickets being sold for PUBLIC AREAS of the city on New Year’s Eve?

Thank you… oh mighty pissed-up, fight-starting scumbags.

5 01 2010
west_melb_anitbogan

“No mention of the yin and yang symbol featured on the Harbour Bridge during the fireworks display?

I thought that was a gift for TBL. Much like the bogan love of fireworks.”

Yes bogans love being patronised by pretty lights and sound, so Fireworks at NYE is essential bogan fare.

Thank goodness it rain in Melbourne on NYE, the bogan horde was kept in check, and we all could watch the bogan flagship, Channel 9, telecast Richard Wilkins and some blonde bogan wax lyrical about the Sydney fireworks.
Is watching fireworks on tele from another city even more bogan that watching them live?

5 01 2010
eurofoti

I have been waiting for a post on New Years Eve, especially after going to Sensation to see what it was all about.

I lost count on the amount of shirtless guys (it was a shirt event) and tribal tattoos.

5 01 2010
Beck

TBL must do a post on bogan culture (sorry, “kulcha”). I picked my son up from daycare and his boganette carer (complete with tramp stamps and piercings) told me an interesting story about how he had been saying “to be or not to be” during the day. She laughed and commented on how funny it was that kids remembered so many lines from The Simpsons. Although my son knew this line from the dialogue of a bumblebee in one of his storybooks, I was aghast that his carer (and alleged educator) had no idea this was actually Shakespeare – not The Simpsons. I was so taken aback that I looked it up and found the line had been used in The Simpsons in an episode that parodied Hamlet. My question then would be what did my son’s carer think she was watching during that episode of the program? How on earth would she get whatever joke the writers were making? But then again, I don’t understand why people continue to watch that show … (apologies to Simpsons fans).

5 01 2010
FT

Beck, as a well-educated, 28 year old non-bogue, I must object to that comment, as I’ve learnt a lot of things from the Simpsons over the years.

For instance, I’ve never seen/read the play A Streetcar Named Desire, or even watched the movie in full, but I can name the main characters in it, give you a general plot synopsis, and tell you who wrote it … All because of the Simpsons. I’ve also never seen the movie Tron, but I “kind of” know what the Tron world looks like due to one particular episode of the Simpsons. Before the Simpsons, which started when I was around 7 or 8, I might add (in my defense) I was not familiar with the work of Edgar Allen Poe. I never knew the tune of the Spider Man song until the Simpsons movie. And, if I had not already seen the Star Wars trilogy a billion times, at least the Simpsons would have explained to me that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father.

On the other hand, I have at least known that all these references in the Simpsons have been exactly that – references to other movies, shows, plays, stories, songs, literary characters, etc etc. In short, don’t blame the show. Blame the audience members dumb enough not to realise what they are watching.

5 01 2010
Beck

FT, this is exactly my point: The person in question had NO idea where the phrase originated from. Where you as a fan/viewer can spot and understand the parody/satire, this person had no (or, at most, extremely limited) cultural point of reference outside this particular program. It’s not the program I’m gasping over (it’s my preference to not watch it), it’s the person’s lack of knowledge of anything cultural outside that one, narrow framework. Given the line in question is one of Shakespeare’s most famous, it beggars belief that someone would not understand this is its actual cultural reference, not an animated telly show. I’m not starting a pratty argument over what constitutes good/quality television. I’m making a point about people having so little knowledge that it ultimately limits their understanding of even the elements of culture they think are “good or shit”.

5 01 2010
BoganHater

Beck, I’m a highschool teacher, and the girls who do childcare at school aren’t exactly the intellectuals . Basically it’s a subject and career path for the academically challenged (who often are bogans). It’s one reason I’m glad I cared for my children myself when they were young, even though being a one income family wasn’t much fun at times.

5 01 2010
brad

high school teacher= intellectual superior/super mum

5 01 2010
Beck

I’m actually talking about a particular individual, not making a generalisation about people in a particular profession. I’ve been using childcare services for 14 years and have always found the people who work in the industry to be just like those in any other – a mix. It’s a person’s behaviour that makes them a bogan, not their profession. And having a very general knowledge about “stuff” isn’t being intellectual; it’s being normal. My children have benefitted from the care and attention of many intelligent and dedicated child care workers. I’ve also come across other people who might be just as dedicated, but they’re ignorant. Anyone, regardless of their line of work, who does not understand basic cultural references can be accused of ignorance, and ignorance is a big ol’ bogan trait. I know of a high school student who lost marks on an exam because they made reference to Alaska as a state of the US; their teacher asserted it was a country. It took a major kerfuffle to make the teacher reinstate the marks. I’ve also had my own experience with my child where a high school teacher intructed her middle school students to learn to spell a number of words incorrectly and – despite evidence to the contrary in the dictionary – would not accept her mistake.

I’m not saying everyone is moron if they’re not into Shakespeare, nor am I trying to mount some argument about what makes one intelligent. I’m saying that VERY BASIC ideas about history, language, music, politics and the like should be well and truly distilled in someone who has had the benefits of an education and is living in a culturally rich society. There are some things everyone in our society should know, even if it’s in a minimal way. Everyone should have heard of a major figure such as Shakespeare and have a rough idea of what he did. Everyone has access to knowledge (and this knowledge can come from different quarters), but there are many who prefer to put their minds in neutral. And they’re not the least bit embarrassed by it, because if you “know about stuff and shit” you must be a “girly dickhead” anyway. This isn’t a comment about childcare; it’s a comment about people who revel in their own ignorance.

6 01 2010
Paige

I’m in childcare. I’m also waiting until my children are old enough for me to do psychology. Not everyone can just up and go through university to do fulfill their potential – some of us have to just get a crap job to make the ends meat.

6 01 2010
Bec

Lay off, man. Crap attitudes like that are why the care industries are so undervalued (and why childcare workers are paid less than fucking car park attendants).

6 01 2010
Linda

boganhater! I notice that trend! Childcare is mainly alot of Boganettes fresh out of leaving School at Year 9.

15 09 2010
Generalizations are not cool

I wanted to do childcare, unfortunately I was extremely depressed (clinically, not a bit upset) by the time I finished high school and it never eventuated. Instead I worked in menial customer service jobs for several years (one could argue that it is a step or more below child care, given that there are no qulaifications whatsoever required). I now work from home full time playing with data instead of people, but still not as well paid as I would like.

I have also started university (psychology) and I’m getting no less than distinctions. Now that I no longer have a selfish, lazy bitch dragging me down I would be more than a bit surprised if all of my grades weren’t high distinctions from now on.

The point is that intellect and occupation are unrelated. Not all teachers start out as teachers, some actually start out as child care workers.

If we were generalizing that all child care workers are intellectually lacking, then the generalization about teachers would have to be the same, because some of them are the same people. People don’t just click their fingers and instantly become more intelligent.

Also based on my own experiences if I were to make a generalisation about highschool teachers, it would be that they don’t care about their students. They don’t bother teaching anyone if some people don’t want to learn. They don’t notice when all of a sudden a student drops from around the top of the class to slightly below average and think that something might be wrong. They don’t like teenagers or trust them. They make generalizations about students which are not fair or correct. They automaticaly assume that they are right and will not listen when a student has proof that they are not so.

Aren’t generalizations fun? Just for the record, I don’t think all highschool teachers are like this, but I know there are some who are. The reason why we shouldn’t make generalizations is because everyone is different.

6 01 2010
BoganHater

Beck, that particular individual is dumb. If she was of above average intelligence she’d be doing something else. She could just as easily be working in hospitality or Coles/Woolies as in childcare, but she wouldn’t be capable of going to University. And I bet she didn’t study Shakespeare at highschool as she would have done the “Functional English” course or whatever her particular school called it. Most Bogans are dumb and uncultured – that’s a fact.

6 01 2010
Bec

Education =/= intelligence =/= an ability to recognize pop cultural references.

6 01 2010
BoganHater

Yes, Linda. Or if their parents have made them do Year 12, they’ll choose subjects like childcare or hospitality as they’re not bright enough to cope with academic subjects. That’s ok – they have to do something, but just don’t expect your childcare worker to know about Shakespeare – an occasional one like Paige might be working in childcare as a stopgap until they can go to Uni, but most will be pretty simple individuals, and many will be bogans.

6 01 2010
Kylie

I’ll ask a silly question, but what is “Functional English”. Is it the English equivalent of Maths in Society? It’s quite a while since I was at school but in my day, we only had one option for English – and that was English. This is in both government and private systems. Both taught Shakespeare.

God, how depressing. The idea that you can get through a decade or so of education and not be exposed to Shakespeare. Maybe a post on the dumbing down and boganification of the education system is needed.

And Beck, your comment about “people who revel in their own ignorance” is gold. Absolutely fucking gold. I love The Simpsons and think it’s one of the greatest TV shows of all time because of its satire, its pisstaking and all those pop and high culture references they sneak in. I guess if those references go over your head, you’re just laughing at the “Homer is stupid-Bart is a brat” thing which is funny but, damn, you’re missing out on a lot

6 01 2010
BoganHater

Functional English goes under many quaint names but is the equivalent of Maths in Society. You can go right through highschool now without ever having to read Shakespeare.

6 01 2010
Beck

The point is, you shouldn’t have to have studied Shakespeare at school in order to have heard of him. I don’t watch The Simpsons but I know who the characters are and what some of the key phrases are because I’ve come across them in wider culture. I’ve never studied Chaucer but I know who he is and what he wrote. Similarly, I never studied anything to do with Einstein, but I know E=MC2 is his. The narrower your exposure to culture is, the more bogan you are.

6 01 2010
Bec

Bullshit. There are plenty of legitimate reasons why someone might not interact with ‘culture’. It doesn’t make you bogan or uncultured if you live in a place with no art or cultural venues or libraries, or if for whatever reason you don’t finish school, or if you don’t read Shakespeare.

This is all verging on shitty class-based snobbery which has little to do with the wilful malicious ignorance of the cashed-up bogan of today and more about shitty stereotypes about people who don’t participate in the crap, narrow, racist and classist paradigm of what is considered culture.

Far less classy than some chick with her cert three in childrens services. If it’s not good enough for you, take your kid out of childcare or stfu.

8 01 2010
brad

well said bec ,another example of people not interacting with ‘culture’ on a high level are persons more attracted to sciences,engineering,technical trades-you know the type of people way too intellegent to give a shit about social grandstanding and playing politics,i find the so called cultured class eg actors,musicians,journos and other self appointed social commentators to be not so much intelligent,but creative in making themselves and people around them seem intellegent ,this is why narcissists and sociopaths flock too these fields of so called endevours ,you can get big results for little effort doing something that has no tangible benefit to society.At least the child care worker preforms a service that is of benefit to someone

8 01 2010
Beck

Who said anything about culture only being that of a high level? I don’t get why the concept that culture is a whole hotch-potch of stuff is so difficult to get your head around. People should be aware of what’s happening around them and what’s gone before, or they should take the opportunity to as far as they are able. That way we hopefully avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, enjoy what we have, and try to better the future. What’s elitist about that? Far worse to be telling people they’re incapable of learning more and they need looking after by those who know better.

6 01 2010
Sam

Kylie, you must be pretty fricken old.

I am 29 and in my day there was English Literature (for the verbose and future lawyers) English (for the majority and a pre-requisite for Uni entry) and at some schools there was ESL (English as a Second Language for the refugees).

While ESL is probably a recent addition, my parents even had the English Literature or English option.

7 01 2010
BoganHater

Sam, at the school I work at, there is normal Year 12 English, which includes the study of a Shakespeare play. You need this for Uni entry.

For the academically challenged, who are usually only doing Year 12 because their parents want them to and they can’t get a job with just Year 10, there is Functional English, though I’ve heard it called other names at other schools.

Teachers dread having to teach these groups as they’re full of bogans who are usually badly behaved and often unteachable. Most don’t want to be at school and have no aspirations to go to Uni.

There’s also ESL for foreign students, but this is a completely different thing.

6 01 2010
Sam

TBL, we need more levels of blogging to allow threads/replies to continue further. It is annoying not being able to reply directly to idiots who are at the 5th level of the thread.

Can do, it’s now boosted to 7. TBL

7 01 2010
Sam

Nice work, cheers

6 01 2010
Beck

Bec, You are mistaking what I am saying, and are using “culture” as another word for “high-falutin’ art”. I’m NOT – I repeat NOT – saying someone needs to throw on a cape and immerse themselves in The Bard. Many people don’t give a rat’s arse about Shakespeare, but THEY HAVE HEARD OF HIM. If you read through my posts you will see I make that view painstakingly clear. Nor am I disaparaging childcare or childcare workers, which again I have REPEATEDLY defended. Culture is everything that happens around us in the society we live within. That’s everything – television, movies, books, language, visual art, etc – from the traditional to the contemporary. So unless people are walking around with their thumb up their bum and their mind in neutral, they should have a general knowledge about some things, then their personal taste will dictate where their specialised knowledge develops – whether that is Shakespeare or South Park is irrelevant. It’s got nothing to do with snobbery and everything to do with maturity, which you may lack if you are advising me to “shut the eff up” because of my personal experience with a bogan INDIVIDUAL. It’s a pitifully tawdry response on your part.
Also your response to someone using the word “culture” is to label them participants in a crap, narrow, racist and classist paradigm. That’s akin to a bogan saying if you “know a lot of stuff and shit”, you must be a snob. Utter rot. A simple glance at the dictionary – and a proper read of my posts – would alert you to the fact that culture is: “the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group”. Another definition entirely to what you have mistakenly reacted against in a massively knee-jerk way.

7 01 2010
Bec

Oh dear. You must be new at the Internet. I can tell this because you’re throwing around ten dollar first year arts degree words, giving me dictionary definitions, and presuming that an off-handed stfu is ZOMG totes literal and I never want you to have freedom of speech again!!!!!!1111one. Oh noes!!!!!

You seem to live in this lovely little bubble where everyone discusses Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon and the mere thought of someone not being familiar with some shitty sixteenth century hack who only survived by virtue of being an aggressively self-aggrandising theatre owner makes you clutch at your pearls. That’s not culture, that’s called being sheltered. This may surprise you but there are big pockets of people who couldn’t recognize any Shakespeare! Or any of The Simpsons! These include people who are illiterate by virtue of poverty, immigration, disability, people who have immigrated from other countries where they have bigger shit to deal with than whether or not they can impress people with their ability to speak in iambic pentameter, people who can’t afford TVs or books and thus don’t own them, people living in remote Australia or remote Indigenous communities, and… zounds, the hundreds of thousands of highschool students who work as unpaid carers, live in foster care, or otherwise just don’t give a fuck about what old white dudes consider to be culture.

This might shock you (I recommend finding smelling salts or a fainting couch for this) but I teach white Anglo teenagers who have never been to the theatre or seen/read Shakespeare, and these kids don’t care because their interests lie elsewhere! Do you know how much this concerns me? Not a bit, for the same reasons that maths teachers don’t burst into tears upon learning that I hated maths. It doesn’t make these kids uncultured, unintelligent, or disdainful of the arts or education. It pretty much means for 90% of my kids that they have other shit that preoccupies their lives which I’m thankful for not having to go through myself.

It’s presumptuous, rude, and entitled to think everyone has the same opportunities, inclinations or cultural values as you. The irony is in that bogus dictionary definition you quoted at me: the definition of culture IS particular to the group you identify yourself in. Given that you don’t identify as being part of that group, you’d probably be huffy if she made a big deal about something she participates in which you don’t consider culture.

7 01 2010
Beck

As I said, without being rude, dramatic, or pretending to know what type of person you are, I think I’ll just agree to disagree with you.

6 01 2010
Sam

Maybe she assumed that the only place your child was likely to hear that phrase was on the Simpsons.

6 01 2010
Beck

Not when ensuing conversation highlighted that she herself had no idea it didn’t originate from The Simpsons. This is, indeed, the entire point.

7 01 2010
BoganHater

Beck, I think I know what you’re trying to say, but the problem is that the person in question is not very bright. I work in a school that has a high proportion of bogan students. They mostly have low IQs and after leaving school they work in jobs that don’t require much intelligence, eg. childcare.

To be interested in wider culture you need to be intelligent. Even if she’s heard of Shakespeare, she’s not going to be interested enough to retain information regarding lines such as “to be or not to be”. She’s only interested in reading magazines to find out what Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are up to.

7 01 2010
Beck

The point is Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan ARE part of culture. It would, however, be problematic if the only part of culture you’re aware of is Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. When you talk about, for example, Chinese or Italian culture, you’re looking at everything that goes into making that society what it is. Everything from food, to dress, to language, etc. You can still be culturally aware with a limited education; you only have to be tuned into your society. How do you think earlier generations with limited schooling got on? Were they all ignorant for the rest of their lives simply because they left school at Year 9 – if they were lucky? I don’t buy the line of thinking that only the highly educated people understand what really goes on in a particular culture, and I think it is precisely this attitude that is incredibly patronising and entrenched in snobbery, not the attitude that there is an expectation on people to be generally aware of what goes on. And now, I think I will move on with my life, because I’m sure everyone is now bored with this argument. Perhaps we should just all agree to disagree.

7 01 2010
BoganHater

Beck, just to add one last comment – I think you’re confusing being educated with intelligence. In the past, lots of intelligent people didn’t get much education. You could have very intelligent people working as bus conductors etc.

These days that’s less likely with Youth Allowance for Uni studies and just about everyone doing Year 12. Your bogan child-carer is probably of low intelligence and therefore why do you expect intelligent behaviour from her? She can’t help it – she was born like that and her friends and family are probably like that.

7 01 2010
Bec

The Simpsons isn’t as big as you think it is with gen y/z.

7 01 2010
Paddington

I wish someone would tell Channel 10, in that case.

12 01 2010
Bec

Well, with my classes anyway. Yeesh, you try to do the whole ‘I am so smart, s-m-r-t’ things with these guys and they start to give you blank looks…

7 01 2010
Sam

Yes your point is easy to understand. However until now you did not really elaborate on how you reached your conclusion about this girl. Some people can be ignorantly quick to judge other people.

6 01 2010
Jules

I visited the USA last year and while in Washington DC we visited the Reflecting pool and the National WW2 memorial, which is now commonly known among American and travelling bogans as ‘The Forrest Gump Memorial”.

9 01 2010
maloo22

well i guess you could keep your little bundle of fututre opinions at home, or you could try and expose a learning mind to a lot of different scenarios and situations so that when they are old enough they can make an educated desicion for themselves. Or wrap them up in you upper class heirachy whrer they will never really experience life because it might be a little scary or heaven forbid they might learn something.
But i guess when you spend your whole life driving around in your new 4Wd with the doors locked you dont get to see how the lower class live. Because heaven forbide you be late for little anthonys piano lessons because then he wouldnt grow up with that i am supiour attitude that you must have to not be bogan.
How about instead of bagging all these people who do a lot of the menial tasks that you all cant be bothered to do, you engage them in conversation and learn about them and maybe impart some of you knowledge to them.

10 01 2010
Sam

Not enough time in the day.

Suggesting to a bogan that his view may not be the most enlightened is a one-way ticket to the emergency ward.

Example scenario:
Non-bogan: “Excuse me sir, but it is not good for the environment to throw your empty Wild Turkey & Cola bottles into the river”

Bogan: “Shut up poofter!” *WHACK*

11 01 2010
Beck

*laugh* BTW I’m completely grateful and indebted to all the carers who have ever looked after my children; this is not a menial task. But I guess if maloo22 (and others) had read my posts properly, instead of succumbing immediately to the white noise of outrage, that would have been patently obvious. Mea culpa. I’m fascinated at the leap of presumption in some posts as well – since when did parents using day care all drive 4WDs or have white collar-only jobs? Or be female? But then again, who said I was female, white, a pop-culture hater, the head of Shakespeare’s fanclub, a white-collar worker, privileged, conservative or played backgammon? Or … well, y’all get the point.

5 01 2010
Simon

I am proud to say that as an anti-bogan I have not heard of a Jagerbomb. On the subject of alcohol bogans NEVER drink red wine (with the exception of being furnished in a box). Furthermore, as an anti-bogan, I can faithfuly say that I have never queued-up to enter any establishment apart from the MCG (MCC to be precise)…. why, oh why, would you queue up to get into a bar??? Any establishment with a queue and a bouncer is a bogan wateringhole until proven otherwise.

5 01 2010
brad

simon=troll

5 01 2010
Mark

On a different note-I noticed on a facebook ad that they have made Australian flag contact lenses.
Jeeeezzus . Won’t they look cool with the flag cape , shorts, no shirt,and hat? Oi oi oi.
I really hate Australia day. Totally unnecessary jingoistic patriotism.
Bugger the tautology!

6 01 2010
Paddington

That “oi, oi, oi” rot really gets stuck in my craw … Whoever came up with that idea deserves a special place in Dante’s Hell.

6 01 2010
pinky has a brain

Australia Day should be re-named “National Bogan Day” I cringe every year, it’s a bit to crass and American for me. I’m proud to be an Australian and shit but I don’t need to make a big song and dance about it. Can we blame the bogan’s for Australia becoming so Amerinanised?

5 01 2010
wino

I’ll say it again…..you guys want to be exposed to boganism in all it’s forms work in hospitality. Not only do you get to deal with them for hours at a time, you see the transition from sober to stupid and all stops in between (thank you Bum Wines for that one). From the Christmas Day prawn buffet pile up, the wedding night punch on, the Melbourne Cup drink package order (table service? fuck me 15 rum and cokes thanks….I shit you not, the worst day of my working life), the list can go on. NYE is just another fucking night where pub owners get away with fleecing gullible patrons who are stupid enough to pay 2 weeks wages for a night out, then piss on my front lawn on the way home. But haha, one boganshee this year was yelling into her phone at 3 am ‘Got no fucking shoes and no fucking friends! Fuck!’ All the while nice and teary hahahahaha.
On a side note, the Gold Coast being the epicentre of brand based boganism, saw that someone had been watching as little too much Martha Stewart and had made a Southern Cross out of Unit stickers on the rear windscreen of their Commodore.

6 01 2010
Paddington

Ha! A chap I am acquainted with owns a restaurant and becomes very Basil Fawlty-esque when confronted by bogan mums who feel the need to make the chefs turn themselves inside out to create special gluten-, dairy- or whatever else-free dishes for Shekinah and Taleisha-Rae while the two little tots enjoy bread and babycinos while they wait. Or (this actually happened) the mum who wanted a soy milkshake for her “lactose-intolerant” kiddie but demanded it also include a base of full-cream icecream. Claiming a non-existent food allergy or behavioural problem is very bogan behaviour (and unfortunately takes attention away from people who legitimately have these issues) because it taps into their “look-at-me” mentality. It’s very much like the boganette who loudly claims to be a vegetarian but still consumes chicken and fish, because apparently these are vegetables.

6 01 2010
Paige

I have a border-line allergy to something in dairy, meaning that I can in fact eat ice-cream and cheese in moderate amounts, but any amount of cow milk makes me violently ill. It is possible, but, I wouldn’t get up in arms about it at a cafe…

6 01 2010
pinky has a brain

That sums it up perfectly

6 01 2010
eurofoti

I hope there will be a post on Goon Juice soon. Thats a bogan fave. Or going thru McDonalds Drive Thru, especially for one item and if there is a queue (meanwhile the inside could be empty).

6 01 2010
Linda

I carted a bag of goon around for New Years Eve! I think I have hidden “bogue” tendancies.

6 01 2010
Sam

not hidden, open for everyone to see.

7 01 2010
Linda

Hehe – probably true.

6 01 2010
Paddington

My friend’s niece had a 21st birthday party where a “goon bag” was pegged to the clothesline. Everyone stood in a circle, the clothesline was spun and whoever the bag landed in front of had to pour as much of the “goon” down their throat as they could. This was the main entertainment of the night. That, and cranking up Pink on the TEAC mini hi-fi until the speakers warped. No decorations, no special celebratory atmosphere, just a partly flaccid goon bag on a clothesline, its silver sagginess bearing testament to the bogan’s inability to find entertainment in anything other than “getting shitfaced”.

7 01 2010
Linda

LOL!!!!!!!!

6 01 2010
Nicki

Uh, cheese and ice-cream are made of cow’s milk, unless specified. Everyone’s ‘allergic’ to something these days, which is hilarious. If you are truly allergic, such as people with coeliac disease, then any amount of the allergen makes you truly ill (so much so that you wouldn’t even cheat a little because you’d feel so awful afterwards).

6 01 2010
Linda

It seems as though more and more kids these days are allergic to something.

Have you noticed that?

If you want to bring a plate of food to a playgroup party – it is preferably needed to be nut-free and vegan.

6 01 2010
Paddington

Agreed – there are three main groups: Those with legitimate food allergies (these are the people who have severe reactions to a food); those with food intolerances (different thing altogether, such as getting a bit farty with too much of a particular food), and those who desperately want to have either of the aforementioneds, not for real (because that would limit the opportunities in the KFC drive-thru) but because they can be ultra-demanding with wait staff in crowded restaurants and talk really loudly about it to their friends. Couple that with the tendency to crank out a diva act if something’s not quite right and you’ve got Bogan Nirvana. It’s mostly bogan women who cash in on this behaviour and I think it’s directly related to the diva opportunities that arise from it. Makes ’em feel spesh.

11 01 2010
Lee

Yes there does seem to be a whole generation of people lately with something wrong with them along with the popularity to blame certain allergies, illnesses, and shit like ADHD ( i personally think this “condition” is a hoax) on behavioural problems.
I quite enjoy the fact that I can eat, drink, touch anything and simply breathe without contracting some sort of symptom.
I also enjoy not being an anemic vegetarian.

7 01 2010
Angry In Brunswick

“My friend’s niece had a 21st birthday party where a “goon bag” was pegged to the clothesline. Everyone stood in a circle, the clothesline was spun and whoever the bag landed in front of had to pour as much of the “goon” down their throat as they could.”

You’ve never played Goon Of Fortune? Weird.

7 01 2010
Paddington

I’ve never played it; never heard of it. If that makes me weird in the eyes of others, I think that’s one of the most depressing things I’ve heard. But I’m happy to lay claim to that version of “weird” 🙂

7 01 2010
Nicki

BoganHater, your comment about childcare workers was the most disgusting comment I’ve ever read. It’s people like you who devalue the importance of childcare workers, despite the fact that they spend all day looking after mummy and daddy’s ‘little angel’. That’s why people like my mother, who works in childcare, earned less than I did working at The Body Shop. They deserve more, but as soon as the daily rate is increased even by $5, people scream the house down as the drive away in their brand-new Klugers or BMW 4WD (this is not made up either, by the way).
Childcare is one of the toughest career paths one can have, yet is the most undervalued. It’s not just standing to the side watching kids play. Enjoy having childcare workers while you can- many of them are in their late 40’s or 50’s and will be retiring soon, with very few replacing them. Hell, why would you do childcare- you look after people’s children better than they do, and they don’t give a damn or appreciate it. Maybe then they’ll finally get the credit that they deserve.

8 01 2010
BoganHater

Nicki, I wasn’t devaluing childcare workers. I was simply stating the fact that not many geniuses become childcare workers. It is simply a fact that the lower IQ kids do the childcare courses at highschool. The ones with brains are doing the subjects that will get them into Uni.

Beck seemed to be shocked at the ignorance of her bogan childcare worker – I simply said that most of them aren’t that bright and naturally don’t have much general knowledge.

8 01 2010
BoganHater

By the way, older childcare workers are a completely different group. They may never have had the chance to get an education but be quite intelligent. I’m only talking about the girls at my highschool doing childcare.

7 01 2010
Paddington

Childcare costs are absolutely astronomical; in many regions in Australia it far outstrips private school fees. Childcare wages are absolutely dismal and do not even begin to accurately reflect the work entailed in caring for and educating young children. There is no doubt childcare workers are underpaid, just as there is no doubt childcare fees are completely unrealistic for the majority of average, working people. There’s something between the two making a heck of a profit.

11 01 2010
Kat

“The bogan cannot ruin this festival. It already sucked.”

Word.

31 12 2015
Yash

31-12-2015 22:24

Prepare for ritualized agonistic behaviour between Hominidae males and the deliberate placement of municipal solid waste within their habitat.

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