We here at Things Bogans Like have long stated the case that central to the bogans’ entire existence is the pursuit of fame. Celebrity. Adoration. Or at the very least, a professional photo. What this means is that nuptials have become something of a bogan rite-of-passage. It is the culmination of everything the bogan lives for. It is the school deb on smack. The bride is a celebrity for a day. The groom is resplendent in whatever his bride made him wear to match the bridesmaids. Everyone lavishes attention – and money on the happy couple. And everything is done HUGE.
We here at Things Bogans Like are on a mission to educate you, the reader, about the pitfalls of society created by the nouveau bogan. Weddings deserve special attention. So welcome to our week-long investigation – starting tomorrow – into the social, cultural and sartorial phenomenon that is bogan weddings.
This blog has peaked.
LOL. Yes, I’d say at “32 – Glamour Photography”.
Still, it was fun while it lasted.
This is exactly why I eloped…
Awesome! Looking forward to this topic. I recently went to a bogan wedding, which made me throw up in my mouth. TBL is so right – the bride pretended she was a celebrity and the “most beautiful woman on the planet” even though she is an ugly fake mole with oompa loompa orange skin and ‘blonde-in-bottle hair. And the groom and his groomsmen had a professional photographer photograph them (in art noveau black and white, of course) peeing off a world heritage listed mountain in South East Queensland. Charmed, I’m sure.
Steve,
Did you get the profanity laden speech by a drunk best man where he reveals the groom slept with the maid of honor (or someone equally embarrasing) and the bride knew nothing? Always a highlight and a true sign of a bogan wedding.
Yes, the best man was as hopeless as he was drunk. Leading the reception he thought he was Australia’s answer to Jon Stewart. I don’t think I need to tell you that this endeavour of his failed miserably. Mind you, the other bogans in the room seemed to find his sexual-innuendo-laden jokes amusing.
Bet he was from the footy team too.
Spot on
What about the Groom’s Parents robbing the Bride’s Parents handbag while everyone was dancing?
omg!
My sister worked in hospitality and came home one Saturday night to tell me about a wedding reception where the ENTIRE wedding party – foul-mouthed, bottle blond bride too – was arrested for affray.
And I think Tanya’s wedding in Muriel’s Wedding was a perfect snapshot of bogan nuptials.