It had crime, it had violence, it had drug use, it was based on some semblance of fact, it was on commercial television, and it was absolutely loaded to the brim with heavily stylized, semi-explicit sex scenes and exposed breasts. It was, in short, the televisual equivalent of bogan heaven.
Underbelly, for the uninitiated, was Channel 9’s attempt to dramatise the story of Melbourne’s ‘crime war’ during the 1990s and 2000s. With breasts. During this war, several heretofore unknown criminals became household names. To the bogan, ‘household name’ is entirely synonymous with ‘celebrity’. And the only thing bogans love more than celebrities is celebrities playing celebrities. For proof, look no further than Walk the Line, where Joaquin Phoenix managed to create a bogan-friendly image of Johnny Cash, or even better, check out Jamie Foxx in Ray.
Even better, Underbelly was packaged by its creators as high brow entertainment, and the banning of the programme in Victoria lent it the perfect level of illegitimate cred. And it had loads of breasts. Professionally and slickly filmed, it was frenetic enough to withstand the bogan’s extraordinarily short concentration span, while simultaneously giving the impression of intellectual legitimacy. It thus became the bogan equivalent of Janus, Blue Murder or Phoenix. Bogans are unaware of those shows.
It was so successful, in fact, that Channel 9 began immediately hunting down other criminals in order to expose Australia’s bogans to a second series of actors holding guns and fondling/leering at breasts. Thus, Underbelly 2: A Tale of Two Cities pushed further back into the 70s, when the story was less interesting, the criminals less famous, and Australians had to watch Matthew Newton. And a pair of delightful New Zealand breasts.
This has, in turn, exposed a nascent urge in the nouveau bogan. The irrepressible desire to associate themselves with said underworld figures. The bogan will, upon an Underbelly-related conversation beginning, immediately and enthusiastically offer an anecdote about how, when they worked at a café, they worked with a guy who once served a coffee to the table that Mick Gatto was sitting at. And that he seems like ‘a top guy’.
Breasts.
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You could probably just say ‘Channel Nine Fullstop’, since it’s the network that gave the world the two other Bogan Touchstones: Hey Hey It’s Saturday and A Current Affair.
Seriously, I, unfortunately, have to interact with many Bogans at work, and not a day goes by where I don’t overhear yet another tedious conversation that starts ‘I was watching ‘A Current Affair’ last night and…” contains a mixture of bogan buzzwords, such as ‘battlers’, ‘shonky’, ‘your children’ and ‘fatcats’.
Oh, and how could I forget the phrase ‘get tough on…’
Don’t for get ‘under siege’, everything is under siege. Bogans be outraged!
Of course, you mean “Aussie Battlers”. Don’t forget the “Aussie”. In fact, don’t forget the “Aussie” prefix in any part of the story that involves Australia. “Aussie farmers.” “Aussie workers.” “Aussie jobs.”
Spot on Nagob the Anti-Bogan,
The Aussie battler farmer being the biggest whinging bogan of the lot. For a classic insight into the mind of the Aussie rural bogan go to http://www.worstofperth.com and search for inseminators 09. It is an epic thread that illustrates bogandom in all it’s glory.
I have no idea why that internet address is taking you to a completely different site. Just google worst of perth.
Me again, it’s http://www.theworstofperth.com.
Yes, farmers do whinge but they do have a lot to whinge about, drought, floods, insect plagues, especially getting screwed over for every cent by unscrupulous big companies such as woolies and coles.
It isn’t a nice regularly paid job like everyone else has, my family owns a large sheep station in central west NSW that runs merino wool, first cross fat lambs, a bit of beef, wheat and feed oats.
In the thick of the drought they had to get rid of a heap of stock due to no feed at a quarter of the price they were worth, a loss of $30K in one hit.
$75K in one hit again to subsidise feed for the rest of the remaining stock.
Put a crop down, locusts wipe it out another $25K gone in one hit.
Managed to squeeze in another crop after the locusts the fucking ‘roos came through and cleaned it out, again another $25K (it’s no wonder farmers shoot these retarded animals).
Too late now no crop, potential loss of $130K and this is all in one financial year!
How about we leave the country folk out of it? Or, go live on the land for a year then shitbag them! : )
Another fine example of a whinging.
Never said farming wasn’t important Lee. Just that jeez they can whinge.
How about answering my question Shazza? Would you whinge about working 6 days a week for a whole year only to find you didn’t earn a single cent and infact went into debt by around $60K?
Think about what you are saying first mate, or as I said go live and work on the land for 12 months. Then I might take your responses seriously.
A fine example of whinging, yes.
Would you whinge about a potential loss of $285K in one year due to circumstances beyond your control? I think you would be the first Shazza.
This country and it’s economy would cease to exist without it’s farmers.
Actually, Lee, according to the most recent ABS figures, the agriculture sector represents less than 4% of the total economy, down from over 20% in 1950. And it’s still shrinking. Not to belittle the recent traumas farmers have faced, but they know the risks, and the economy would survive. TBL
Is that another whinge I hear?
Are you implying that farmers are altruists?
If I tried to grow something in a climate where it refused to grow, I would move on and try something else.
And don’t tell us that Australia still “rides on the sheeps back”. That shit ended in the 1970’s. It’s all about digging big holes and exporting that stuff.
So your complaining about those darn whingeing bogan farmers? You believe all they do is whinge whinge whinge? You really like whingeing about bogans. Does that make you the ultimate bogan? Shazza? Its just ironic that people commenting on here, quite venomously might I ad, are portraying many traits that they themselves declare to be “bogan”. On another note, have you seen what the farmers in Australia are going through? Do you read? Im sure you have a TV and seen something on Four Corners? They can complain as much as they like!!!!
Not complaining Matty H, simply making an observation.
Another fine example of Shazza having an opinion on something she clearly knows nothing about.
That’s exactly what country people always say. Yet you agreed they whinge – see your own comment.
Farmers are very touchy too.
Most of the farmers I have met have a) a huge SUV, b) a nice house in the city, c) the biggest “header” or tractor or farm (or something else that non-farmers couldn’t care less about but the farmer thinks will get him laid) “in the district” and d) a very large thirst for pre-mixed cans. So stop your whinging whenever you have a bad year…we are sick of it as most of you are millionaires courtesy of government assistance!
We also don’t like them in Perth as they whinged so much that we had to cancel daylight saving.
I grew up in the wheat / sheep belt of the Southern Highlands of NSW.
A bad year for a farmer was when he couldn’t get a new Mercedes. This is 30 years ago though so I suppose you’d substitute that for a Landrover or Prado or some other massive car/truck.
Yes they can have it tough in Australia, what with the droughts and flooding rains and all that, but what most of them fail to tell you is that if they have just one good year out of five they are laughing.
Incredibly if my business has a bad run and I look like going arse up apparently I can’t stick my hand out to the Government for a bailout unlike the abovementioned.
Ha ha, the anti-farmers!
Not anti -farmers Lee. But this is a satirical site. You can’t stick your finger up at city bogans, whilst leaving out the rural bogan. It’s all in good humour.
Matty, I might have sympathy for what farmers “go through” if they had to live in the conditions they raise their cows and pigs in. At least farmers can defend themselves.
Sam you have got it so wrong my small minded, un-educated friend.
Lee, that small response took you a while to prepare. If only you knew how wrong you are! Cheer up buddy, I have read several of your other posts and I agree with you on most things. Seems like I have a bit of suppot on this issue though. Keep trying champ, like I said, most of your posts are worth reading.
Sam, my bad mate.
A “commercial free to air television” post in general could work really well. Don’t forget the countless instances of wheeling out and restarting old shows with washed up C-grade celebs to avoid producing any new content.
Those New Zealand breasts were pretty delightful.
That Roberta Williams seems like a nice chick – real go-getter.
Yeah what a classy sheila. A real thinker too.
That’s why the commercial TV stations love her.
“Yeah i’d fuckin’ bend her over”
Great post! Ah, Kiwi breasts… Bogan’s have it so good these days…
Alas, confirmation that we all have a fraction of bogan in us!
I agree with the blog but also have to state having read Leadbelly, I did watch Underbelly season 1 and whilst not 100% accurate, it was 100% better than most of the dribble network television release to the public these days, especially “home-grown” shows.
I didn’t watch all of season 2 but I did enjoy season 1
Well of course there will have to be a post # 26 Bagging Other Bogans. Most of which could consist of out-takes from the Herald-Sun
or, the comments on these blogs…
Breasts; sold.
HaHA, you’ve found my bogan Achilles Heel, rusty. Good work. 🙂
Season 2 Underbelly was freakin’ awesome.
I think i saw a “Best of Underbelly” episode once, where it went from sex scene to sex scene. I knew never to be bothered with the show cause I can get sex scenes from the internet.
You also mention “Ray” and “Walk The Line” which made me feel dirty as I particularly enjoy those films, but then realised I also enjoy Almost Famous and Walk Hard more. 2 films about made-up musicians, so the appeal to me is evidentially not the man, but the content.
GOD YES.
Bogans do love to glorify criminals – witness the success of “top bloke” Chopper Read. So he killed a few people – he’s an Aussie larrikin!
I’m currently cringing every time I see that ad on Foxtel for The Contender, where “Rodney from Reservoir” (or whatever his name is) waxes lyrical about how he is inspired by Ned Kelly “because he – um – robbed from the rich and gave to the poor”.
Actually, I read that when someone asked Chopper what he thought of UNDERBELLY his response was: “It needs less rootin’ and more shootin’…”
Now, I haven’t seen minute one of the show but after reading this post and the responses it seems that Chopper’s assessment may be accurate.
Good call dee – bogans LOVE Ned kelly, a cop-killing piece of garbage who should be reviled for the scumbag that he really was. Worshipping this moron makes as much sense as revering Ivan Milat, both were murdering dickheads.
Funny website, always seems to make me laugh. One post I would like to see is the bogans current infatuation with Texas hold’em poker, poker tournaments and the sudden desire to become a professional poker player. Amazingly, when the bogan has only played a handful of games they consider themselves as the font of all knowledge regarding poker tactics. Buoyed by their newly acquired skills and their fool proof theories, the bogan watches numerous episodes of channel 10s “lie to me” in an attempt to master human behaviour and body language. After mastering this from only a few episodes, the bogan truly beleives that all his competitors are inferior, as he has been able to turn the game into a science. We now have the birth of the Uber-poker player, a force to be reckoned with in any “Nollsy” endorsed poker tournament.
Well, since Warney is the Alpha Bogan of All Time, anything he tries his foolish hand at bogans will flock to follow.
Never watched the show, never got the thrill of watching what is a fairly embarrassing chapter in the otherwise interesting history of Melbourne. I have found that 7 and 9 have a wide selection for the everyday bogan, nothing too complicated, yet still memorable enough to get them to buy the special edition DVD box set.
hired the special edition DVD box set with all the special features as extras out from the video store, the last bastard hadn’t rewound the DVD, how bad is that!
The same people that like Chopper Read, said killer, are the ones that want to make ‘Walzing Matilda’ our national anthem – a tune all about suicidal thieving ‘hero’.
The song is a thousand times better than the terrible piece of trash we have now.
If we’re talking about farmers, then let’s go…
These morons think that they could clear every single tree and blade of grass of their 10,000 acres of property, and they would still expect to reap a crop.
How the hell do they expect any kind of ecosystem to survive, when hundreds of thousands of acres of wooded land are completely decimated for the sake of their crops?
But don’t worry. Just get a few of them on ACA crying and acting like ‘Little Aussie Battlers’ and I’m sure they’ll wheel Ray Martin out for a telethon where ignorant Australians will donate millions of dollars to your selfish, ignorant land-raping asses.
Just to bring it back to the topic ColinJ. That same idiocy now applies to city bogans buying thier first home in the outer suburbs. Usually a new suburb with a patronising title, such as Success or Miami. Every inch of native flora is decimated so they can plant fucking cocos palms. I hate palms. The floral emblem of the urban bogan.
Check this out it is about the suburbs such as Caroline Springs where the water has to be trucked in etc
[audio src="http://blogs.abc.net.au/files/rick-winchester---ill-stop-the-sprawl.mp3" /]
For some reason I can’t see the images on this link njptower.
It is a sound bite – it should load into media player or quicktime
…Or have an adjoining word like : gardens, meadows, lakes or downs to make it sound ‘upmarket’ to aspiring bogans….
NOT to mention that a lot of farmers make their living from cattle, chickens or pigs which are kept in appalling conditions then slaughtered cruelly (no, It’s not done humanely, regardless of what people would like to tell themselves) only to be sold off as product. Yeah, farmers are great…
Commercial piggeries and batteries are pretty appaling. Sheep and cattle are pretty well free range as for the slaughter process, I have never been on the slaughter floor at an abbatoir so can’t comment on it. Have you?
I was waiting for the vegos and greenies to raise their ugly heads on this! : )
Lee, yes, I have, and what a lot of people don’t realise is that those “humanely raised” animals go to the same abattoirs as the others and endure the same terror. I’m not a zealot who has read vegan propaganda and decided it’s fact, I’ve studied ag systems at uni. The cows know that what is happening isn’t natural and I assure you they scream with fear.
I dont doubt you’re right Jodie, as I said I haven’t seen it first hand so have no basis to comment on it. At the end of the day it’s all about making a profit and trying to survive.
Oh and I never once described you as a vegan zealot! : )
Though you get the gist.
“But Jules, Pork chops taste goood, Bacon tastes goood…”
Oh Colin, how little you know or understand.
Stick with the 2 minute noodles jodie(sorry couldnt help mysef)
I like 2 minute noodles. :p
If you like i will take you for a decent meal at Valados on Swan St best steak in town no veg or salad on the plate just unaduldurated meat lovers paradise, get some iron into you stop the shakes ha ha
yeh Jodie what do you eat ? do you grow your own lol you hate everything and everyone
I don’t, actually. I just can’t stand conformity. And I eat anything that wasn’t once an animal.
I couldn’t help but sharing with you all this very proud moment in my life….. If simply watching and enjoying Underbelly increases your social stature as a Bogan, then having an Aunt that is acting in the new series has just bumped my social Boganity level from a minial doll bludger to the elite level of “Bogan with connections”, of course this level of Boganity is cutting a thin line with the “Wog” that has a “f*cken cousin that’d kick your head in”. And although this actually being a fact, it won’t really give me as much world recognition as our Bogan Princess “Chick-Chick-BOOM” girl. Who became world famous for being an elite level Bogan bullshit artist, those sort of skills can only be learnt in a centrelink office.
Blue Murder. What a TV show! “I’m in the breakers, Noel. Full of junkies, drunks and busted up sluts”
Yep, Blue Murder leaves underbelly for dead!
sorry lee blue murder happened 30 years ago and was a war controlled by the big blue boys,great show though.Living in Melbourne during the ‘underbelly’ period always a good laugh hearing about another hit and someone at work(building sites) or various pubs ect saying how they had a cousin,brother,mate,girlfreind who bought drugs off the Morans or used to hang with’Benji’ and ‘Mick’ at kick boxing tournaments.However was a real situation that had everyone worried when someone innocent was going to be killed and more importantly made everyone in vic realise just how insolvent our police force was(and still is) to allow this to get out of control.
Great blog guys; keep up the great work. I am in bit of a predicament; I earn a great salary through a white collar gig, live in an expensive suburb, drive a Volvo (wife’s car) & a old ute for the weekend warrior work (kids & the dog love it!) & yet I enjoyed Underbelly. Where does that leave me on the bogan-omoter?
Do I get extra points for knowing one of the actors from the original series very well ? She didn’t have a big part but managed a reasonable role for 2 episodes (she also palyed David Helfgott’s mother in Shine).
You get extra bogan points for dropping a connection that’s for sure.
Name your suburb Locko (and tell the truth now) and I am sure we can help you out.
Sam,
I live in Inglewood & up until January 2009 had another property in Subiaco.
Funnily enough Inglewood had a reasonably bad reputation up until about 10-15 years ago. However the bogans do lurk around in their daggy HSV’s & XR8’s on the odd occasion due to the Inglewood hotel “atraction”.
the fact that your from Perth will score you big points too Locko
Unfortunately with a boom in mining the tattoo parlours have never been so busy with Southern Cross tatt’s over here in the west; it is frightening to see so many misguided bogans being “patriotic”.
Extra points for the old ute.
Things Bogans like: Ostentation.
How can we forget the new age bogans love for the media beat up that is “Border Security”, this show also brings out the conspiracy theorist in them.
Border Security gets extra points because it enforces the fact that foreigners are trying to ruin Australia. You don’t even have to say “I’m not a racist but…” when you’re talking about that show! Marvellous!
I heard a story about a shop (it may have been a hair salon) where one of the real-life characters in UNDERBELLY once worked. Apparently one day a whole family of bogans (including small children) showed up and wanted to have pictures taken in a place where a minor character from a trashy gangster show may or may not have worked at some point.
Now you talk about bogans taking ‘celebrity worship’ to shameful extremes, if this story is true than it’s about as shameful and pathetic as you can get.
an opputunistic photo with ‘Chopper’ every bogan worth his weight has one
got one
you da man
I’m glad chopper has been mentioned here. I think you should do a post on Chopper and essential bogan reading material – I saw people reading chopper that hadn’t read a book in years. True Crime in general, actually.
Heath Franklin’s “Chopper” is absolutely hilarious. Spot on, too.
It is good, I miss the Ronny Johns half hour………..
“It’s not pastas, it’s potatoes…” Man, I still have a major crush on Jordan Raskopoulos.
*secretly hopes he’s reading this*
Finally, someone agrees, or should I say, Many people agree. Yes, I’m a late visitor to tbl
Honestly, anyone who thinks Underbelly is a good show is an absolute dick.
It has THE worst editing, terrible scripts and appeals to the lowest of the low. I’m all up for good crime stories, but anything Channel 9 is involved in is always going to be utter utter shit.
When they talk about 2 million people watching each episode it’s basically a good indicator that there’s at least 2 million people in Australia who need to be shot out into space.
Something that 200,000 bogan’s have liked, all the boobs of underbelly without having to concern oneself with the complicated things like drama and plot.
http://underbellyboobs.wordpress.com/
Didn’t the Williams criminal have a bogan-brat called ‘Dhakota’? ‘Bindy’ would have to be its middle name I guess. Bogans have abandoned the once-popular Ky-loi, Darren, Kimberl-oiy, Troy and Charmaine, preferring more interesting sounding monikers, or mangling existing spelling. Because they can’t spell. You have to be actually in the classroom to learn spelling.
My Daughter is not actually a brat!! DHAKOTA as we spelt it so it was different is a very well spoken well mannered immaculately presented little girl,whom is always complimented for her impeccable manners and behaviour, so please in future with your judgements pass them on fact!!!!!
No. TBL
ahhh Underbelly. I missed that wave when it hit Melbourne… didn’t know how to download (still don’t). But when I happened to come across Underbelly 3, after an exhausting day of brain-frying academic pursuits, I must say that the fast moving images, and uncomplicated storyline lured me in. Unfortunately, as a non-bogan female this show is absolutely NOT marketed toward me (i like to consider myself a feminist)…and as TBL pointed out: breasts breasts breasts. But it didn’t stop me screaming out “go KimmY” and “i love srg. Debbie!” – I figured the show was audience participation.
I’m a little worried though – because I’m not the prime audience I have no idea if the evil Ken doll will get his comeuppance. But my cynicism may be related to how channel 9 advertise Underbelly… which seem to imply that Bogans are not interested in a show that concludes with truth, justice, and all of that..
yep… unfortunately for me TBL was right – it ended with Kimmy trying to stab herself with the unsubtlty of blood dripping down her naked breasts…and a rat licking it up for some reason.
And rather than evil ken being punished, he is filmed allowing her to live – revealing to the audience once again (despite whatever the narrator concluded) that kimmy is still a powerless hooker. sad face
This story seems to have been composed by a computer program that ticks off items from the TBL Full List:
roberta williams, celebrity charity fundraiser.
nope, just doesn’t work, does it?
As a part-time Australian, I liked Underbelly. It reminded me that there is actually some organised crime in Australia, and not just tanked up rednecks smashing things up and being mindlessly violent.
(blatant name dropping alert)
Recently it came in the news that the tattoo parlour in Newtown where I got all my work done was not only owned by bikies but (OMG!) had a paddy wagon out in front of there for a day.
Naturally all my wannabe hard bogan mates were talking about going there “for their next ink”. However, my association with the owner of this establishment goes a bit further than tattoos – let’s just say we’ve done business in the past when my mum kicked me out, I was living around Newtown and needed money. And we still have a business relationship albeit a different one.
I allude to simply knowing the guy to a couple of femme-bogues at Northies on Tuesday (I’m not back in the Shire full time, I just went to have a drink with mates) and suddenly I turn into Ash Hefner. You’d think I’d suddenly gotten fully huge, orange and rich at the same time.
Bogans be stupid. The way they act…I mean I know the guy, I’m friendly with him, but I’m no fucking undercover biker or anything.
(blatant name dropping alert)
Recently it came in the news that the tattoo parlour in Newtown where I got all my work done was not only owned by bikies but (OMG!) had a paddy wagon out in front of there for a day.
Naturally all my wannabe hard bogan mates were talking about going there “for their next ink”. However, my association with the owner of this establishment goes a bit further than tattoos – let’s just say we’ve done business in the past when my mum kicked me out, I was living around Newtown and needed money. And we still have a business relationship albeit a different one.
I allude to simply knowing the guy to a couple of femme-bogues at Northies on Tuesday (I’m not back in the Shire full time, I just went to have a drink with mates) and suddenly I turn into Ash Hefner. You’d think I’d suddenly gotten fully huge, orange and rich at the same time. Every guy in there wanted to buy me a drink and hear stories (all of which were 99% BS) – every girl wanted my c0ck to give them #124.
Bogans be stupid. The way they act…I mean I know the guy, I’m friendly with him, but I’m no f*cking undercover biker or anything.
I’d just like to say to the sanctimonious twats on here thanks for tarring all farmers with the same brush. I run a sheep and cattle farm. The basalt block I run was completely run down from over tilling – ploughing and growing mono-culture crops. Now through years of work, that block is 100% covered in native grasses and legumes. Sanctimonious human types won’t eat Queensland Blue Grass or Glycine, so I run cattle and sheep. I don’t like sending them off to die, but until the high and mighty vegos, animal libers and the general lot of ‘whingers’ who go on about the environment but don’t actually make any sacrifices or do anything for the environment besides whinge about the awful things others are doing, start paying more taxes so that I can run my land as a national park. where all the animals skip around in magical fairy land for all eternity, that’s what I have do to survive. And is the high rate of suicide in rural communities also something you would classify as whinging?
What makes this show false is the criminal characters are portrayed as heroes and the cops as the villains. Channel Nine obviously spends a lot of money on polishing and glamorising the whole program on getting the best looking actors, flashy cars, best photography of the film, glamorising the nudity and the sex scenes knowing all of this will attract more attention from the public and a bit of controversy from it all will make the program become more popular and so Channel Nine will make a huge profit, hence the saying controversy sells.
Also it digs up the past in a derogotry way for instance the first underbelly may of triggered the recent murder of Jason Moran’s brother/cousin (forgot his name), Well maybe not all the underbelly episodes like for instance I don’t think it would of been a negative reaction from the characters great grandchildren from Underbelly Razor since it was nearly a century ago but I am sure the recent bikie war telemovie dug up the past in a negative way since it was just 30 years ago the events took place.
Best example of why channel nine portraying and glamorising the criminals as heroes and misunderstood in society, In Underbelly Files: The Man That Got Away Dave McMillan who was the protagonist criminal was portrayed as a nice bloke who was stuck in the wrong crowd for example that scene when he escapes prison and tries to adopt a stray cat giving the viewer the impression he’s a tough criminal on the surface but deep down he’s a sensitive bloke, I’m sure that didn’t really happen when he escaped. Apparently theres a tv show in England called Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGUVt8CVM3M its about Danny Dyer (probably England’s equivalent of Kyle Sandilands) who interviews England’s heaviest criminals and he happened to interview the real Dave McMillan and he is completely different from his character in Underbelly for a start you can tell his psychotic (possibly schizophrenic in a servere way), devious, got the mannerism of a nasty English villain in an old hollywood movie, probably still gets up to alot of mischief with the law but knows how to hide it and still associates with other gangsters etc.
Underbelly wouldn’t necessarily be a bad tv show if it was all fiction like The Sopranos but since they are digging up the past by glamorising it in a false way and giving the public the wrong impression what these criminals that are depicted in the show were really like in real life. I reckon Underbelly needs to be scrapped and there needs to be more seasons of The Straits (Great fictional tv show on ABC) which is like North Queensland’s answer to The Sopranos and one of the best tv shows of this year in my opinion.