#155 – Krispy Kreme

7 07 2010

While the bogan has used doughnuts to medicate its desire for fat and sugar many times in the past, these were just ordinary doughnuts. More recently, a whole new world of bogan-style doughtnuts has opened up. Dispensing with flavour in favour of koncentrated sugar and fat, in mid 2003 the American kompany opened its first Australian store in Sydney. Not available anywhere else, rumour of Krispy Kreme’s ability to attach sugar to the SIDE of the doughnut ran wild in bogan circles. Soon, Jetstar was ferrying thousands of karry-on doughnuts per week, as intrepid bogan ants scuttled their exotic treats back to nests around Australia. After a period of establishing brand mythology in the bogan psyche, Krispy Kreme was ready for phase two.

On Thursday 2  March 2006, at the QV retail komplex in central Melbourne, a queue hundreds of bogans long is snaking its way up and down the walkways of the komplex, erratically doubling back on itself in open spaces wide enough to allow the bogans to do so. A Krispy Kreme doughnut giveaway promotion is running in the building, and the bogan is queuing for up to three hours in the hope of getting one of the 10,000 free doughnuts on offer. There is no velvet rope in sight, but the bogan is desperate.

Three hours in a queue for the possibility of a free $3 doughnut. Few kompanies have been more successful in manipulating boganomics to their own ends. As each bogan proudly marched away from the kounter bearing its doughnut, Krispy Kreme knew that it was the start of a beautiful relationship. While the American parent kompany has been trading very poorly in recent years, the Australian bogan has almost single-handedly kept the operation afloat. Kanada’s 18 stores have dwindled to three, Hong Kong’s 7 stores went into liquidation in 2008, and store numbers in the United States halved between 2004 and 2009. But the bogan remained as firm as a doughnut-filled gut kan remain. There are now 54 stores in Australia, and rising.

Why does the bogan like Krispy Kreme so much? Well, apart from the bogan-titillating branding and launch kampaign, the kompany has also made life very easy for the bogan. What other kompany is kind enough to offer a 24-hour doughnut and watery koffee drive-through at Fountain Gate in Melbourne, and Penrith in Sydney? After the launch of the Fountain Gate store, there was a bogan kar queue 500 metres long which had to be soothed by local police and security guards to avoid doughnut-related road rage. But while a network of 54 franchised stores offered reasonable bogan koverage, there was more to do. Krispy Kreme successfully negotiated to get its premium priced doughnuts stocked at Woolworths, and at selected petrol stations. Now, the bogan would never be denied its konstitutional right to spend $25 on a dozen shiny 25% fat doughnuts from a kar-friendly outlet near to its McMansion.


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517 responses

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

The comfort food de riggeur for the discerning bogue…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

‘Boganomics’? There is no depth to the genius you harness TBL, casting us as mere amateurs in our quest for greater bogan understanding…not since V-power racing petrol has something caused me to smirk as hard or as long as this…love your work…

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

They truly are kings amongst men.

7 07 2010
Tone

“Boganomics” = just like “Freakonomics”, only bogan. I should know, I was there when the term “boganomics” got bandied about on the TBL FB page months back.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Tone
Genuine is new here, so maybe needs a little time to catch up. There are hundreds and hundreds on comments…All of which are pretty funny.

@ Genuine

Make sure you look at the comments from the other posts. You missed out on Peter, Peter the Austrian Cabbage Eater. ;)

7 07 2010
Tone

Ah. TBH, I’ve been lurking as of late, but not as closely as I have done in the past, hence some of the new players in TBL Blog Land have flown under the radar.

For what it’s worth, my recollection of the original conversation where ‘boganomics’ came up had something to do with the bogan practice of using fuel discount vouchers, which was discussed over on the TBL FB page a few months back. Surely TBL has got something in the tank, if you’ll excuse the pun, relating to the boganity of discount fuel vouchers, and of Service Stations in general. (Of course, they are now “Service” Stations in name only, but I digress). Or, perhaps, they’re planning a whole chapter on bogan fuel purchasing habits in their second book “Boganomics: The New Age Bogans Guide To Money And Shit”.

7 07 2010
AntiPajero

Boganomics could also refer to the Bogan’s attitude towards “their tax dollars” being wasted on stuff like ejumacation instead invested in baby bonuses.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Tone

I thought you had be quiet of late. There are a few of the “old regulars” missing of late.

Glad to see you back and adding your wit and pith back to the conversations.

I believe you maybe right, or could have been earlier.

7 07 2010
Tone

Thank you, P!nky. I haven’t been able to compete with some of the stuff the others bring to TBL Blog Land, so I thought I’d just sit back and marinade in it for a while.

And yes, AntiPajero has a point. I’m sure there’s enough boganomic goodness from one’s Tax Dollars At Work to justify at least two chapters.

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Or enough to form a miniseries, like the bogan wedding one.

Then again, that sort of topic has been covered on an ongoing basis in the Bogan Bribe Watch section.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Thanks Pinky…working through it all, have to pace myself incase I have a heart attack or embolism from all the laughing…apologies Tone,credit where due and all that…

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I hope you have noticed how awesome, inciteful and coherent my comments are!

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Si GaA

Of course Si, you know your one of my favourites! Always ready with glass in hand to serve TBLers better. ;)

@ Genuine

I should also mention that there is a high risk of addiction to TBL.

@ Baggy T

I love your work. I have to admit I’ve hijacked some of your finest work and posted it all over FB. With credit to you of course.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks Pinky, here to help.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Simon GaA

Dude thanks for the tip on the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Downloaded album and am enjoying it very much.

May I make a suggestion that you check out the new Tegan and Sara album Sainthood. If you like the YYYs

I accidentally thanked young Sten. **Blushes**

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

A huge faaaknkaaant shout out to you Glasser…prodigious and tenacious…like a pit bull rottie cross goen a crop thief or under five…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

3 do’h nuts = a cheeseburger meal in terms of fat and sugar…faaaaknwikked. If ever there was a maxxtreme food, this would be it…washed down with a massive can of mother…

7 07 2010
Sten

Oh, this is one very close to my heart (in a different sense to the Bogue, which is oblivious to the impending constriction of it’s Coronary artery). It must be the branding… it’s not like these donuts are very good (give me a good old suburban bakery donut any day, tastier and much cheaper by far).

I suppose the fact that there’s enough energy in one measly donut to nuke a city block is the other reason Bogues love them… in it’s constant efforts to reach a new nadir in maxXxtreme junk-food crapness (deep-fried Coke, anyone?), only an actual fusion reactor (funnily enough, shaped like… a dount!) could excede the Krispy Kreme donut in calorific density.

7 07 2010
pb

deep fried coke? please tell me you made that one up.

7 07 2010
Sten
7 07 2010
pb

dear lord – one cup of that is more than a third of daily energy requirements.

11 07 2010
nauseated

Oh Holy Jesus! That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen

3 09 2011
Dogbolter

The yanks have finally trumped this! I kid you not, deep-fried butter. My disgust knows no boundries. All I can do is ask… why??

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/deep-fried-appeal/story?id=14291787
(one of many links, Google it and you will get more).

7 07 2010
martin

It’s definitely the name. Krispy which defines the bogan’s love for deep fried fatty foods and kreme which alerts the bogan to something that was traditionally served mainly to the rich poncy people.

Now that the bogan is making a lot of money by working in the moines and using their equity in their mcmansion they are now the new rich and are very much entitled to all things that only the rich people had. Even if it is some dried up lump of sugar like the krispy kreme donut is.

Marketing genius. Gotta hand it to whoever invented krispy kreme. They’ve probably deliberately not opened up a lot of shops to give it that sense of mystery and exclusivity.

7 07 2010
Sten

Don’t forget the classic Bogue MaxXxiom: If incorrect spelling is used intentionally, it must be awesome.

I’m thinking now, in my drunken state (yes, it’s not even 5PM, no, I don’t care) that that was actually a subtext in the article itself.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten

I too have been waiting for the KK post. I remember nearly dying of laughter when driving past Fountain Gate on the way to the family farm, and seeing the drive through line to KK. You could here the Bogan screaming out Its window “Hurry the faaarrrk up” etc; Hilarious! I also noted that the actual store was empty. I laughed and laughed. How sad it must be!!

My other experience with KK was when I was working and one of the girls in my office bought in one of those maxxxtreme boxes full of these so called doughnuts. I was rather pregnant at the time and she offered me one. I tried a small bite and ended up having to go home because it made me vomit. A lot.

Haven’t touched one since.

PS

Thanks for the tip on the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Downloaded album most excellent Sten.

7 07 2010
Sten

Pinky, my dear, you have me utterly confused. What the hell is a “Yeah Yeah Yeah”? The last music I downloaded was a collection of Kinks albums, 1964-1970. As yet, I haven’t had a chance to indulge.

Anyhoo, I have it on good authority (my own) that Krispy Kreme donuts will cause dysfunction in any normal (non-Bogue) alimentary tract. I used to work for a certain shipping firm, and you should’ve *seen* the excitement (piranhas spring readiliy to mind) when one of my colleagues brought in several cartons of the crap. The rest of the floor were wondering what was wrong with me (I was trying to do my job, incidentally) because it took me so long to join in on the calorgy.

I ate. I wondered what the fuss was. I felt sick.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Sten
As always I have thanked the wrong person! HAHA forgive me and my lack of checking!! School holidays are doing my head in. :?

I couldn’t stop. I was nearly sent to ED (emergency depart.). One of my friends said to me it’s because I “eat too much organic” and my body can’t cope with that much refined sugar. That really cheered me up to be honest.

The Kinks? Hmmm…. ;)

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@Sten

Excellent taste in music, there with the Kinks: I did indeed go and purchase a physical copy of The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society, for I appreciated it that much. On the CD, there also includes the mono mix and extra tracks recorded contemporaneously to Village Green.

A delightful album featuring the skillful songcraft of Ray Davies, who wrote and sang about, in the words of DC Root (formerly known as Humphrey B. Flaubert of TISM), “an England that didn’t swing”. A golden period for the Kinks, even though many of their aficionados are rather partial to their early-to-mid 70s works.

8 07 2010
Antosha

What Antosha Learned from Today’s Blog:

I learned that Fountain Gate really exists! And that it is not just a made up name from Kath and Kim! Gold !

Never bitten into one. Probably never will. Just seeing how those things sheen under the fluro lights of Sydney airport made my arteries harden.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Ahhh Sten, thought it was way past everyone’s bedtime… “…in it’s constant efforts to reach a new nadir in maxXxtreme junk-food…” you’ve done it again buddy, pure 24k gold there…love your work!

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia
7 07 2010
Anonymous Bosch

Wow. One Cinnamon donut has the same caloric content as one good-sized meal, meat-included. This is a good thing for society. It makes it easier to outrun the Bogan Spawn outside the train station, when donuts are combined with high-sugar caffineated beverages that only provide short-burst energy.

This is the best advancement in anti-Bogan personal safety since they made Televisions too awkward to nick during a quick B&E, and Cashies started giving bugger all money for CD’s and DVD’s. If only the Private Hospital here had an A&E, so I didn’t have to brave the Oxycontin-seeking hordes coming in to complain about infected toenails whenever I cut a finger off.

7 07 2010
Will S

Interesting, as a percentage they have scarcely more sugar than the breakfast cereals discussed in #152

7 07 2010
Sten

Thanks, TGA, I do try my best.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

Amazing.
Fountain Gate is a real place?

7 07 2010
Sten

I know, Chubby. I was blown away when I discovered this too.

7 07 2010
Nelson Esq

It definitely is a real place, not an invention from Kath & Kim. It is out in the outer bogan infested SE suburbs of Melbourne.

7 07 2010
TheMon

Kath & Kim was filmed in a house in Patterson Lakes. Same thing really..

8 07 2010
Antosha

I should have read further before posting my revelation so high up in the chain.

7 07 2010
BlueCollarHolla

Seems like it’d be hell on their pre-baby weight.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ BlueCollar

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 10/10 :D

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Sugar and caffine and fat all at the one place? The combination is enough to produce symptoms of sugar diabeties in anyone. With the sugar fufilling the bodies needs the caffine from the coffee releasing the glucogen from the bogans liver the combined sugar high makes for wired and wild. within a couple of hours the bogans poor distressed pancreas fights back with maxtreem doses of insulin resulting in the bogans blood sugar levels going into freefall. result the cranky lethargic state for which the obvious cure is … yep … another dose of krispy kreme and coffee to start the cycle straight over again.
Meanwhile the 25% fat containing maxtreme amounts of saturated and trans fats is sent to storage round the round bulging bogan fat farm while there is ample fat left over to produce a daily crop of pimples that would delight even the most hard to please teenager.
Well done krispy kreme the ultimate though slow acting bogan poison

8 07 2010
Antosha

I say Mr Hunter..

ochen harasho !

well put good sir.

Do you think as a result of all these maxxtreme additions to society, and the ever creeping boganisation of our culture – that Australia’s life expectancy might actually fall? Especially for males?

Like it did in Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union.

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Surely this is the first entry that’s entirely made up. I can’t believe such a place exists.

7 07 2010
bec

It does. And the fights in the line when the Brisbane stores first opened were *spectacular* to behold. You think VIC and NSW bogans are special? You haven’t seen anything until you see a girl with the skin-tone of a rotisserie chicken wearing nothing but a teeshirt and high heels jostling for a plain glaze.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

I kan testify that krispy kremes does indeed exist. I find it very hard to believe that Melbourne bogans lined up for THREE HOURS in order to get one free doughnut. I know you wouldn’t lie to me TBL, but that really is insane.

I’m not a doughnut fan at all, but I bought one of these at a service station a while back to see what all the fuss was about. It was krap.

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Well, I have no idea where “Fountain Gate” actually is, so I can’t really comment on that.

Of course, I’ve been to QV but I must confess, I’ve never noticed it at all.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

I thought Fountain Gate was purely a fictional location until I started reading this blog.

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I’m not convinced it IS real!

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Get chauffeur to drive you there. Come back and tell us what you saw. (I wouldn’t recommended getting out of the car though, princess).

7 07 2010
Andrew

Yes, it is real. It is the Westfield icon for outer south east Melbourne. Moved to Upper Beaconsfield 15 years ago to be near work, enjoyed the rolling acreage and decided to build here. It is now in fear of being absorbed by the bogue ghetto that started in Hallam, and has since spread to Narre Warren and Berwick.
Fountain Gate is the epicentre for this dully colored, but loudly complaining species of bogue, complete with full entourage of Big W, Red Circle Shopping Boutique, Ishtar, Hardly Normal, et al.
When KK opened, FG housed the closest late night supermarket and I made the horrible mistake of turning up to buy groceries and wondered at what natural disaster had the police and hired security goons manning barriers. It was the line-up of bogues wanting to win a year’s supply of the creme-filled confection. The winner came from Tullamarine, from memory, and actually camped out for 24 hours for the honor.
FG’s only redeeming feature was its use as a backdrop in the Kath and Kim series (renamed Fountain Lake)

7 07 2010
Shirley M

So it’s just a shopping centre? Or is it a suburb?

7 07 2010
Andrew

It’s a shopping centre that shares the same postcode as Narre Warren. Local bogues proudly proclaim it as a suburb because the shopping centre contains all the shiny objects it desires

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Maybe it’s just the association with Kath and Kim, but Fountain Gate has to be the most ridiculous name for a shopping centre I’ve ever heard.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Well put Andrew. I moved from Narre Warren North about 8 years ago. Back when I first bought my house out there I would look and see green hills and cows. When I left it was a warren of McMansion houses SUV’s, HSV, FSV. Foul. The same house in different brick/façade colour scheme, street after street.

It’s a shame because I was going to buy in Upper Beaconsfield until I saw what they did to Narre Warren North. :(

7 07 2010
Andrew

Feel your pain P!inky and understand your rationale behind moving. The Speaker of the House’s office is only 10 minutes away and we have brilliant neighbours so we are reluctant to leave and have instead decided to stay and defend our little corner of Upper Beaky as a bogue-free bastion. There are still some green hills to our east – although I fear for further ejaculation of McMansions on what used to be the old course at Beaky Golf and Country Club. I undestand it has been sold to Devine, PEET or some other similar property developer (surely that must now be an oxymoron!).

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Andrew

I looked at a large property across from Beaky Golf & Country Club.

It broke my heart seeing NWN go down and knew that Beaky was next. My dad is an engineer in the area and warned me that if I didn’t like what had happened in NWN I best not start again out in Beaconsfield because the same will happen. That was 8 years ago. :(

I wish you luck at keeping the bogans at bay. ;)

21 08 2010
Chris

I’m confused..I live in Upper Beaconsfield and it is so different to Narre Warren there is no comparison.

It will take a very long time, and many, many sales and sub-dividing for it to ever become anything like even a Berwick, let alone Bogan SE. I find the contrast between old Berwick, UB and the new SE incredible.

Beaconsfield is sort of impressive in a retail sort of way. Very convenient.

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Chauffeur just flat out refused. :-( I think he may have gone to tell Chef that I asked him to take me for a Krispy Kreme donut.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ fi

Offer him danger money and take your bullet proof SUV. The bogan would smell you a mile away and could possibly attack.

Enjoy

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I have pictorial evidence. Mainly of the “Earnest Wanky Road” Very childish I know, but I think it fits the bogan hub well.

http://maps.google.com.au/maps?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hl=en&tab=wl

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I grew up near a place called Woodenbong. Full of bogans and pot growers, too.

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I am also wondering about the veracity of this one. Surely the episodes described, especially the one in italics, can not be real? Please tell me they are not real…

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ J aAI

Sorry dude, would love to, but it’s all true!!

7 07 2010
Sten

It does, Fi. Apparently there is also a shopping centre in Perth called “Dog Swamp”.

Turnips, can you verify?

7 07 2010
Mick

Fact.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Mick

For real?

7 07 2010
Mick

yep, just a few kilometres north of where I hang out.

7 07 2010
Sten

Dreadful. Just plain dreadful.

At least Sydney doesn’t have such obscenely named Bogan cash-dumps.

7 07 2010
Mick

They do.

it’s called Sydney.

9 07 2010
Antosha

haha! Nice !

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Thanks Mick for answering in my absence.

The name is applied only to the shopping centre, which itself is in the suburb of Yokine, about 5.5 km from the CBD, therefore an inner suburb.

The name was given to the nearby small swampy lake along Wanneroo Road, I think, during the 1920s and was dredged into a lake by the 1970s, also acting as a stormwater sump. There was a miniature castle tower with gates and a bridge across it. The lake tends to dry out in the summer, owing to the high reliable on bore water in Perth.

So not so much a bogan area—as it is near the city and has had a lot of infill development (townhouses and villas) over the last 25 years—just a dopey name that is more in keeping with the ethos of The Worst Of Perth blog :)

7 07 2010
Tombarina

About six years ago, on a cheap-seat flight from Sydney to Brisbane, I was the only person – and I truly do mean, THE ONLY person – in a three-row radius not nursing a KK box on my lap.

In my youthful innocence, I enquired of my neighbour what rare gold lay in yonder box. “Only the best doughnuts in the WHOLE WORLD,” she replied, with a note of scorn that I didn’t much care for.

Several months later, fearing KKs would become mandated for air-travel – no KK box-on-lap, no fly – I tasted one. I could actually hear the sugar dismantling $3000 worth of dental work, and see the fat busily applying itself to my upper thighs.

I’ve not had one since. And I don’t fly Jetstar.

9 07 2010
Antosha

Years ago when I used to transit through Kingsford Smith on my ways to and from Brisbane to Jakarta – I used to always notice hordes gathered around some strange little store that I thought was just another Donut King.

How wrong I was.

11 07 2010
nauseated

I have only walked past an open KK store. I could smell intense wafts of fat emanating from the shop and it was horrible.

I walked faster gagging slightly and have always avoided the shop since.

I can’t imagine actually consuming anything from a shop that smells so bad.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

@james hunter
…and I thought the pig was a “magikal animal”.
if I kould get a Krispy Kreme with krackling…
or maybe just a pig with kaffiene…

7 07 2010
Guido

OK, we get the substitution of c’s for k’s in the main article. No need for everyone to jump on the bandwagon. You’re about as original and rebellious as a Southern Cross tattoo.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

No need to be a kunt about it.

7 07 2010
Mick

Today’s episode was brought to you by the letter K.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ok Kuido, point taken.

7 07 2010
Boards of Canada

K is for Kookie and it’s good enough for me

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

I keep seeing this “bogues fighting for merkhandise” theme. I am genuinely amazed some one hasn’t kombined MMA with Post Kristmas sales and Reality Television.

I’m not even joking.
Bogues would love the sh!t out of that show.
Imagine the plakements. Power Balanke, Mother, Lynx
Imagine major retailers bidding to have their store as next week’s field of play.
Minor eliminations at Boost Juice and Krispy kreme, semis at Pandora, grand final through Harvey Norman…

“A bogue, a trolley, no rules.
six enter… One leave.
MaxXxtreme Shopper
Koming soon… To Niine.”

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

up yours Guido!

7 07 2010
pominoz

Makes me shudder when I see some fat bogan stuffing a Krispy Kreme in their mouth washed down with a coke. I keep saying my medicare levy is going to a good cause but at times thats hard to justify!

7 07 2010
johnband

The one which gets me is the female bogan varient of “Krispy Kreme massive doughnut washed down with Diet Coke”. Yes, that’ll make *all* the difference…

7 07 2010
Maxwell Smart

At my previous employer, it was required practice for anyone attending training in Sydney to bring back boxes of these alleged donuts on the plane to the salivating bogan masses back at work in our Krispy Kreme deprived regional town. The hype surrounding these diabetes triggers was enormous – “dig in everyone”, “don’t miss out”, “can’t wait to we have a KK in our town”.
My polite decline of their invitation to join in was meet with puzzled looks and not so polite inquiry of the state of my mental health – “are you crazy or sumfin, these are the best donuts ever an that’.
When I was asked (ordered) to bring box boxes of sugary gold when I went to Sydney I again politely declined. I got the impression I was cutting a supply line to a horde of drug addicts – “you must be one of those poofy gym junkies or sumfin’.
Needless to say , I don’t work there anymore.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

That’s the thing about it I just don’t understand. I had one of these so-called doughnuts. They are not the best doughnuts ever. They taste like cardboard dipped in lard and sugar. If the bogan is TOLD they are the ‘best doughnuts evah’, apparently that’s enough to make them so.

7 07 2010
Sten

Very nice, Shirley, but the “E” word needs to be in upper case (preferably with at least three exclaimation marks).

7 07 2010
Shirley M

EVAH!!!

I stand corrected, Sten.

9 07 2010
Sten

Much better, Shirley. Now THAT’s Bogan!

7 07 2010
Will S

I have also witnessed this phenomenon, and was similarly disappointed by the actual product.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

even further off topic;
Is TBL aware Will Anderson is stealing “Bogan Bribe Watch” for The Gruen Transfer?

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

He could do worse and far worse for a source of material. But if he is, acknowledgement would be nice…even The Worst Australian cites this site for its references.

7 07 2010
pb
7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Here’s one for the coniracy theorists…Will Anderson WRITES FOR TBL…

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. As the TBL missives are (for the most part) witty and incisive, that can’t possibly be the case.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Impossible. TBL is both funny AND clever.

7 07 2010
Tombarina

Nup. Wil’s a little too fond of Wil to do anything anonymously.

7 07 2010
j-ho

So THATS why the comments are funnier than original posts!!!

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

And his stand up. Maybe he is one of us? Contributors I mean!

7 07 2010
Tombarina

Can’t go with that either, P!nky, for the same reason as above.

I don’t think our Wil is one for seeking out bushels so as to limit the luminescence of his light….

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Aww…I love Wil. I saw his show here in Melbourne and noticed that there were a lot of jokes that were very familiar to me. That’s when I started thinking maybe he was attached to TBL somehow.

I think he’s hilarious and would love to have a coffee with him, just to pick his brain on a couple of shared interests.

I’m not a bogan now am I?

7 07 2010
Tombarina

If you’re a bogan, so am I – saw him last year, and he was fabbo. Very dry, quite self-deprecating, viciously sarcastic.

But I maintain that humility is not one of his stronger character traits.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

You’re so far from being a bogan Tomba that I feel rest assured that I am not a bogan.

Phew

7 07 2010
Tone

What makes me laugh is when I go to Adelaide Airport and I see all the Adelbogues that have obviously bought 5 dozen boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts … I call it the ‘Sydney Airport Departure Tax’.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

With you Tone. Went to Sydney recently for a training course and most of my fellow Adelaidians stocked up on KK’s. I always think of the baby elephant walk as their theme music. Befits their clientele I reckon. I have never eaten one but they look krap (hows that guido) and they are on my banned list along with KFC, HJ etc.

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@ Tone & SGaA

I flew over East for the first time in several years late last year for a holiday: on the return flight home from Melbourne, I too noticed several bogues clutching their three-day-old donuts to bring back for their maaaates back in Perth, where we have thus far been spared from their tentacle sprawl. And this was on board a Qantas jet: imagine what a Virgin or Jetstar cabin would have presented.

And you’d think that we’d be the perfect location for expansion, due to our above-average quotient of dills who are still wedded to the Growth Fetish (Clive Hamilton’s precursor to his other searing critique of overconsumption, Affluenza), but for the time being, the bogan on the wing is content to provide a sample of stale fritters from an American chain that have boxes with rather pedestrian graphics.

And it’s not just on the plane or at the airport where Krunky Kruds make their presence felt. As I boarded the bus home from uni one day not long ago, one of the students (suitably attired with Supré’s latest skankware and a name charm dangling across her neck), she was waxing lyrical on these said donuts to her group of acquaintances, displaying a rare generosity in then procuring the signature box of shrivelled contents for them to sample, fresh from Sydney three days before. Given that my campus is in Joondalup, which is both Little Britain (≈25% of that area was born in the UK) and CUB Central, it is probably not a novel scene to imagine and I believe that if KK should ever feel the desire to spread their culinary canker way out West to service the ultimate Westies, the first landfall should be made at Lakeside Joondalup, where no doubt it would be a hit.

Yippee f#ckin’ kay-aye. Oh and I’ve never as much as tasted their product, solely on principle!

7 07 2010
Frazer

I heard a story that is sure to strike a cord with all non-bogans. Although, only rumours at this point, the sniffer dogs at Perth Domestic seem to get rather excited when the honey flavoured donuts come through. Given WA’s strict quarantine restrictions, many donut clad bogans have been left floundering. I have a new found respect for AQIS, please, keep up the good work.

7 07 2010
pb

s.a.d. tax!

7 07 2010
Mick

You’re all looking at this as a negative. Think about it. View the Krispy Kreme donut exactly the same way as you would view the cactoblastis moth.

One was introduced to rid the country of the plague of the prickly pear. KK has been introduced to rid the country of the plague of bogans. Mostly by sugar induced comas.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

My thoughts exactly Mick! Fingers and Toes it works!!

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. P!nky, can you please explain to us your understanding of the relationship between cactoblastis cactorum and opuntia humifusa?

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Fi

I would say that as that is outside my relm of study at this stage, my understanding would be limited.

Happy? Now go fishing else where as I know that I am no outstanding scholar. I am merely a student.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

*realm
sorry

7 07 2010
Mick

it’s not much Pinky. The moths have sex, lay a few eggs, eggs hatch, larvae eat out prickly pear from the inside.

Much like I hope donuts will kill the bogan from the inside.

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Mick,
That is disgusting and unreliable.
What if the bogan does not want to have sex with his donut ?
The scheme will crumble and the bogan has a sticky end
in ?

7 07 2010
Mick

What if the bogan does not want to have sex with his donut?

I’ve never heard a femmebogue described as a donut before but I can certainly see why he wouldn’t want to have sex with it.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Yeah I kinda got that bit, hence my agreement with your statement.

I believe Miss Fi was baiting me and I can’t be arsed. I am more than willing to admit that I don’t know the ins and outs of “cactoblastis cactorum and opuntia humifusa” I had to google it just to make sure I really had no idea. ;)

For some reason our Fi likes to draw me out and start me off. Maybe next time. ;)

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

Complicated sounding things usually have easy explanations.

7 07 2010
Mick

No longer in italics.

That’s embarrassing.

8 07 2010
Brimstone

KK is delicious

7 07 2010
Rob Innes

I have a terrible sweettooth (keeps my dentist in business), but I don’t get the whole KK donut, it’s just sugar with a donut stuck on the base. Good post TBL, I’ll never forget how crazy the bogues were when KK first opened in Wantirna (locally referred to as ‘Wanny’), line-ups, you’d have to take a card to order because the store was so busy. Now when I’m out that way and I walk past, there are only 2 people in that store, and they are both behind the counter.

7 07 2010
pb

sorry to do an off-topic comment, but i feel the need to inform tbl of the enlightening conversation i heard on the train in today. two femmebogues spent the whole time discussing their recent fights. from what i could gather they were from rosemeadow – southwestern sydney’s premier violent bogan cesspit – and i don’t know that these two ever do anything other than get into fights. they also clearly know no adjectives other than a select few of the four-letter variety (i try not to swear so won’t replicate any of their conversation, although really you’re all the better for not hearing it). one phrase i did learn was ‘bally up’, which apparently means to put on a balaclava, presumably before going and getting in another fight. the best bit was when one of them made a comment along the lines that she’s ‘not a fighter’ directly after spending five minutes going on about how last friday her and another group had been attacking a car, smashing its windows, trying to pull the guy in the car out to fight him, all seemingly for no reason, and that she then spent the night wanting someone to ‘barge’ her so she could beat them up. but remember, she’s not a fighter. i wanted to laugh but i’m a tiny slip of a girl and didn’t want my head kicked in. i almost wish i could have recorded their conversation because it would have given the newcastle train video a run for its money in sheer violent bogan ridiculousness.

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. What’s the “Newcastle train video”?

7 07 2010
pb

in the coloured ribbons discussion there were a few youtube videos of bogues in their natural habitat, one was a screaming match on a train to newcastle. if you’re feeling brave, go and have a look at it.

7 07 2010
Will S

Reposting for the benefit of our beloved Fiona

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Darn’t cawl mah kid a slut mate! She’s farkin’ not! Nahwun’s gunna friggin’ call mah kid that!

Effing. Gold.

7 07 2010
Tombarina

Unless my little ears deceive me, Shirl, I think the above transcription should actually be:

“Darn’t cawl mah kid a slut mate! She’s farkin’ NINE!”

If only these window-lickers had been on another train. The 6.09 to Granville, for instance.

7 07 2010
miss dahl

Well, obviously that bloke got it wrong, didn’t he, calling her and her kid “a slut”. he should have said they are “both sluts” – plural.

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Miss Dahl,
No No No you have it all WRONG !
The correct expression in the plural is;
“youz slutz’

7 07 2010
miss dahl

I’m actually doing a long distance return train trip tomorrow …

7 07 2010
Mick

the train was angry that day…

7 07 2010
Shirley M

The greatest thing I ever read was scrawled on a bus shelter in Armidale. Ahem:

Youse r all sluts, 4 callin us sluts. Ya sluts!

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

That is troolee inspired, you would have to think a lot and put a lot of effort in to make something look so no effort put in…if only they could be invited to post here…

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ miss dahl

**claps and doffs beanie**

Well done. BAHAHAHAHA

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Granville! I shouldn’t laugh, but I did. Rather heartily, even.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Window-lickers!!! You folks rock!!!

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Aaaahhhh…(settling in rustling couch sounds) I have found my new home…!!!

9 07 2010
Antosha

ooooh Tombarina! ouch !

7 07 2010
Tone

Yeah, calling a 9 year old girl a ‘slut’ is pretty poor form. Most femmebogues wait until at least 11 or 12 before they start putting out.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

True, but they often dress like one from as early as 4 or 5.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Nah…’nipple breath’ and ‘condom broke’ t-shirts were targeted at 12 – 18 month olds…it’s like a language…pierce their ears and get them sucking from massive bottles from as early an age as possible…

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Massive bottles or massive tits (cans)

7 07 2010
amr

Oh dear…Words fail me

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I’m not sure what I am more puzzled by, the fact that the people around the fight were smiling? or the comment “Maaan da F@@k up”

Oh help me Tom Cruise…

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. Good Lord! Is this real? What sort of room are they in?

7 07 2010
Will S

It’s a train, Fi (a sort of communal chauffering service for the working classes).

7 07 2010
Fiona of Toorak, bestower of largesse.

LOL. I see! How interesting. Look how packed in they all are. How DO you lesser people live. I’m quite amazed.

7 07 2010
pominoz

Fi. The trains in NSW are akin to something from the 1950’s when you compare them to a service like the TGV trains in France. I can get from Paris to Avignon in the South Of France quicker than the time to get from Central to Newcastle

7 07 2010
pominoz

I have the misfortune to live on the Central Coast so catching the Newcastle train is regular occurrence. I can vouch for the standard of passenger on that service.

7 07 2010
Jaydyn

I don’t want to live in this country after watching that…

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Jaydyn

You can move to the TBL commune. It’s okay. You’ll be safe. ;)

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Jaydyn…relax…you are safe and ‘loved’ here…this is not ‘strayleea’…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

You are so lucky to witness field data first hand pb! Pity about not recording it though…Bally up is new to me, definitely an inclusion in the archive!

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

That is quite amazing. These “women” apparently find enough occasions on which to wear a balaclava that it requires a slang word.

7 07 2010
pb

i know – boguelish is evolving, it would seem.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ PB

Boguelish, awesome. Do think TBL will give us a page to start the Boguelish Lexicon?

7 07 2010
Anonymous Bosch

They recently opened a JB Hi-Fi here, so I ventured into the store today, smirking at the quaint concept of Hi-Fidelity sound in a world largely driven by overcompressed mp3s mastered a maxtremme loudness.

I should have known. It was wall-to-wall enormous flat-screen televisions, and rows upon rows of DVDs. It was basically Bogan Central.

Some creature, who was wearing black stretchy tights, depsite having a figure like The Magic Pudding, was having a conversation with her ‘daw-dah’ in the next ailse, as they flicked through the Blu-Ray section, thus settling an arguement I’ve been having with a friend about the technology now being mainstream if Bogans are buying into it, (since they don’t know what exactly it is, but know it’s the new thing to have).

The ‘Daw-dah’ kept offering suggestions to her mother, only to be dismissed an increasingly loud “No, not that wun. I tole youse, there aint no point watchen if it dont got no speshal effex”.

Over and over again. I felt like a Hipster Wanker for buying the CD that I did, but had to walk into the same ailse to see what selections Magic Pudding Bogan was clutching in her sweaty, porcine fingers. (They were like sausages. It never occured to me that fingers, of all things, could collect fat, but here was the evidence).

I was terrified to look for too long: she could suffocate me with her gunt alone. I only saw two movies she was holding. One was ‘the Hangover’, which seems to be a favourite of the Hi-Visibility-wearing, footy-playing set at work.

The other, was ‘Old Dogs’, a movie a friend and I once discussed when we saw the poster in a cinema, basically saying “Who on earth could possibly *ever* want to ever see that?”

That’s when I left. Her voice was harsher than the blaring Doof Doof music, and just one of those alone was enough to make it an unpleasant shopping experience. I’ll stick to buying things online, since, unlike the Bogan, I can survive without instant gratification.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

AB THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST INCISIVE POSTS I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS TOPIC!!! Care to join us in the Boganology department? Your’re telling it like it is’ is truly inspired….porcine? Speshaleeffex? Mastered to a maxxstreem loudness? A true master…

9 07 2010
Antosha

I laughed out loud at my desk when I read that!

Fantastic !

7 07 2010
martin

I think I’ve had one once. I concur, it was terrible. Only slightly better than the crappy ones from Coles.

7 07 2010
betterthantheoriginalwally

Osaka has just opened its first KK and the J-bogans are still lining up for hours, hiding their faces in shame as they sacrifice both their own dignity and their nations culinary tradition. Someone tried to convince they are paid to line up for publicity. No, these are the same fuckfaces that walk past an elderly woman who has fallen down the stairs, drop garbage on the floor of the airplane and has their ipod volume at ear splitting on public transport.

On a different note – there is something quaint in the idea that Adelaide still does not have a KK or Stubbucks.

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Perth don’t got Starbucks either.

So being about two decades behind the rest of the nation does at times have unintended benefits ;)

7 07 2010
amr

Starbucks didn’t survive the cut after a short life in Rundle Mall.
KK isn’t needed here. I bet Tiger and Jetstar bought the rights to any Adelaide franchises and parked them just so bogues will have to keep flying to Melbourne and Sydney for their sugar/lard fix.
Party boxes of KK’s sugar/lard seem to be exempt from the carry on luggage allowance.

7 07 2010
Kat

Starbucks recently removed itself from a number of Australian locations – I believe that serving utterly crap coffee and even worse tea didn’t go down well in smaller cities. Apparently you have to have a pretty big population before a workable number of people actually think it’s acceptable to spend so much money on really bad beverages.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeah, places like Melbourne, bogue central, are best for these. The residents of Toorak flock there.

9 07 2010
pulang

yes, but japanese people (bogue or otherwise) will line up for hours at whatever food establishment they’ve been told is good, even for japanese food. if it’s been featured on one of the thousand brainless cooking/food shows or just because a few hundred other bozos are lining up, they will line up too. hard to describe without sounding nasty towards them, but after living in japan for years i no longer grew surprised at seeing people lining up for supposedly “oishii” food places (even did it myself when roped along with a japanese friend!)

7 07 2010
Smith

I’ll be happy when there’s a KK in every city and town if it will cut down on the number of boxes being carried onto flights to Perth and Adelaide and crammed in the overhead lockers. They apparently get waived in the carryon luggage allowance so the bogues carry a huge trolley bag, plus handbag/laptop bag, as well as a plastic bag with two or three KK boxes.

These are treated with great reverence and stowed in the overhead lockers all through the plane, leaving other travellers nowhere to put their luggage. Once or twice I’ve had the satisfaction of shoving my bag on top of a pile of KKs, knowing they’ll be mashed discs of vomit after 4.5 hours.

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@Smith

I salute you :)

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

As do I
**Doffs beanie**

7 07 2010
Tombarina

I love you, Smith. Very, very much.

7 07 2010
accidie

I am not worthy, I am not worthy …

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Ever one to hunt down and observe boganomena (bog an phenomena) I went to the ‘bog an gate’ opening just to see the spectacle with my own eyes as I just couldn’t believe it…for 10 days, lines were 4 deep and snaked around the place, people waited over an hour to be served if attending on foot and krowd kontrollers (ha!) had created a ‘barricade maze’ for the cars! (similar to an Almodovar openning at the old Carlton movie house). The average wait in the drive through was 40 minutes to an hour even at 4 in the morning! It is THE most insane event I have witnessed…THERE IS MORE FAT, SATURATED FAT AND TRANS FAT AND SUGAR IN 5 DO’H NUTZ THAN A REGULAR QUARTER POUNDER MEAL!! If you read their nutritional propaganda, they pride themselves on the low,low levels of trans fat! Substances (won’t call it food) like this should really be illegal or require a permit given by a medical professional to obtain…

7 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

People used to queue up back in the 70s for Kenfucky Tried Chucken.

It’s now their grandchildren’s turn to wait in line for something American of negligible flavour and dubious health effect.

9 07 2010
pulang

The Melbourne Collins Street KK store (first store in the city, outside bogan hotspots) opened on the same day in 2006 as I departed Australia to live overseas. The store opened at 6am, and I have been told there were lines of people snaking down as far as three blocks away.
Of course, I didn’t witness this sight first-hand as I was on my way out of the country. Good timing…
Also, I heard when the first KK store opened in Melbourne (Fountain Gate, haha), the staff selection process was quite rigorous. People had to profess their love for the brand, and there were lines to apply/interview akin to that of the stores opening. So bogues are/were even frothing at the mouth to work for these people?! Was it an image of the “employee discount” that got them going, I wonder??

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And bogangate does exist LOLFiona, it is a further putter suburban equivalent of chadstone, which is like dozens of torah villages and high street villages all built together under one translucent roof, and without the quaint cachet of the real thing of course darhling…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Apologies for the typos…damned iPad spelling checker…putter = outer, Torah = toorak

7 07 2010
SD

Like Gloria Jeans I thought it’s Amerikan origin had a lot to do with KK’s success here.

There is an entire post there – even things that originate here need Amerikan endorsement before they are successful with bogans.

7 07 2010
devil's advocate

I don’t find the krispy kreme donut especially bad. At a pinch they go well with the nearly-passable caffiene they serve there.

But nor do I find them particularly good, or have a desire to eat more than one in a sitting.

So yes the obsession does baffle me somewhat.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Bogue alert DA?

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Has anyone considered the possibility of a Maxtreem TV event maybe hosted by Guinness Records or Australia’s got talent.
A Krispy Kreme eating contest .
Maximum number consumed in 1 min, 10 min, 1 hour.
Paramedics and White Lady in attendence.
first prize 12 months all you can eat
Second prize, all you can eat for life
??

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

All you can eat for your very shortened life? Won’t be any fear of giving much product away what with the amount of fat and sugar in those things…dead in a month with these babies as part of a staple diet…

9 07 2010
Antosha

Sounds like a great idea.

But replace ‘paramedic’ with ‘mortician’

9 07 2010
Will S
7 07 2010
AntiPajero

Ah, the Krispy Kreme doughnut. No bogan will ever believe that there is too much fat and sugar in it. The same goes for the doughnut itself.

7 07 2010
miss dahl

The bogue will argue that the KK’s are nutritious, because all the KK boxes have nutrition charts printed on the underside.

7 07 2010
alpha-cock 2000 turbo plus

maxtreeme sugar
maxtreeme fat

They really need to add maxtreeme caffeine+guarana/ginko and be done with it.

7 07 2010
Tombarina

It’s gotta be in a can, though.

The bogan is a busy bee – k@@@@rnts to glass, chicks to rear-door, KoL choruses to parrot.

He needs energy – nay, MENERGY (thanks, Powerthirst!) – in an on-the-go package.

KK + caffeine + guarana + CANNED = rivers of bogue-gold.

7 07 2010
alpha-cock 2000 turbo plus

cans are great for the on-the-run bogue, but surely the donut offers the maxest convenience of eating with your hands.

No packaging, wipe your mouth with your arm and hands on your arse; off you go! All ‘gised up!

7 07 2010
Tombarina

You make an excellent point. Yet I fear several key attributes of KKK (Kanned Krispy Kreme) have been overlooked.

It can be used as a projectile for throwing from moving cars at emo pedestrians.

At a 20-20 match, it can double-up as a receptacle for wee, and may then be amusingly shaken around the crowd.

The bogan can “slam it down fast” to the admiration and respek of his cru. Hard to look cool doing that with a confectionary item.

And cans are shiny. The bogan is like a magpie in such matters.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Tombi…touché absolutely world class…magpies…snorted an unpronounceable single malt out a nostril over that one!! (way too smokey for my liking…CARTIA…BLOOD OATH! bogue blood thinners…)

7 07 2010
Nelson Esq

There is a KK in the city near my office, I often walk past it but dare not enter. A work colleague sometimes buys his coffee there and says that it’s good…but that is coming from a bloke who otherwise only drinks coke, VB and JD. Even if it was the best coffee available, I wouldn’t be caught dead walking along the street with a KK coffee cup in my hand. Oh, the embarrassment!

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Want to know what bogans really love?

It’s standing still on the escalator like a dull, bovine, lumpen mass so you can’t get past. And then when you do squeeze past they love to shout ” Oi f*ck ya, what ya walkin for, youz on an escalator”.

I hate going into the city.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

You know what they love even more than that, Simon? They love getting off the escalator and just standing there, presumably deciding which consumer outlet to head to first, blissfully unaware of others banking up behind them.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

That’s true Shirl. They will also be furiously texting if under 30 years of age.

7 07 2010
pominoz

Ask them to look sideways in a mirror, that might explain why they should be walking up the stairs

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I could do that. They would not catch me as I scarpered off anyway. I could throw a box of kk’s in the air to distract them and spill boost juice behind me to make the floor slippery.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Shhh…more single malt wasted…truly gifted GaA…

7 07 2010
Andrew

Couldn’t agree more. The ultimate offender is the femme-bogue who couldn’t be bothered bringing a pram to transport its spawn and instead packs the jelly-bodied scale models (who no doubt have been tempted into going shopping by the lure of more KKs to stuff into their obnoxious gobs) into a shopping trolley. It then meanders through the shopping centre, completely oblivious to people unfortunate enough to come into close contact. And, of course, it is its birthright to stop at the bottom of said escalator, iPhone glued to its ear, bringing the transport of everyone else behind them to gridlock. Sigh, maybe we need a second amendment……

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Or a reduction in the penalty for murder with extenuating circumstances!

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

I had a disturbing experience recently on an escalator in Civic (the middle part of Canberra, which some people call “The City”, although I personally refuse to do that).

They have these ramp-style escalators, and I was going down one with my young daughter. Above five meters above us was a bogan with her brood in a shopping trolley, who took her hands off the trolley to answer her phone, and naturally the trolley came rolling down the escalator towards us. I grabbed my daughter, and pulled her across to the side so as to avoid being hit by the trolley, and a man in front of us stopped the trolley from rolling any further.

The “women” then proceeded to abuse me for looking after my own child before hers. After the incident, my daughter (who is not used to adults yelling at all, let alone in public) asked me, “What was wrong with that lady, Daddy?” I began to answer, but she stopped me and simply asked, “Is that a bogan?”

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You have taught young grasshopper well Padwan.

7 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

She is quickly surpassing her teachers, Simon. At the local supermarket, she nudges me and gives me a knowing look when she sees a kid with a rat-tail hairstyle.

7 07 2010
Ghengis of Coles Gungahlin

Congratulations!! Maybe you two should go on an excursion to Canberra CUB Central (Gungahlin), on the weekend and you can visit the crazy tall, buzzcut fat teenage male (who looks like he’s in his 20s) at the Coles checkout. He will tell you and your daughter the theory of the worst behaved children at the checkout. Don’t worry, this employee plans on being an accountant, programmer, or graphic designer.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Brings a tear to the eye folks…perhaps an Internet connection and a posting account at TBL??

8 07 2010
Peter of Kensington

James,

If what you say about your daughter is true, I really feel for her.

Mocking and ridiculing online is one thing, teaching children to be superficial and intolerant is another. Her brain is so impressionable; you are instilling life long lessons.

8 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Well excuse me if I raise my child to want something more than spray tans, Kings of Leon and Krispy Kreme from life. While that might be good enough for some, I was seriously hoping she would aim higher…

Also, we tolerate bogans. We just also think they are funny. You really must be a bogan. Otherwise, I am having trouble understanding why you go to such lengths to defend the indefensible.

8 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Either that, or your son has a fetching rat-tail…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

What, Peter? “…teaching children to be superficial and intolerant…” like the hoards of bogues that do so with their ‘sprog’ every waking minute? Get inked, get pierced, punch on, wear sexualising clothing and make-up…have sex…at the age of nine…Why shouldn’t the non-bogues be able to draw a chalk outline on the concourse and hint at what isn’t ‘acceptable’ and mature behaviour? We teach our kids about drugs…why NOT bogues? Tolerate, yes, mimic, maybe (if the circumstances are appropriate – theme partei anyone?), ridicule? Maybe not to their face…(propensity to maXtreemly violent reactions and all…rekonstruktive plastikue surgery costs money, money doesn’t grow on trees blahdiblahdiblah…) but perhaps through the quiet and safe anaonymity of the blog? Absofaaaaknlootlee…

8 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

Indeed, TGA. Who would have thought that noticing, and avoiding, bogans in public would be something we shouldn’t be teaching our children?

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I wouldn’t DREEEM of not pointing these things out to my 14 year old and have been since he could pull on his ostrich skin loafers…and he has benefited from this learning immensely. I am konfident he can venture forth into the world and is unlikely to succumb to drug taking, solvent inhaling, spray can tagging, cigarette smoking, ute burn-outing, rum swilling, corn holing, Nickelback listenning behaviour and he won’t come home inked, pierced, shaven or with some pregnant window licker on his arm wanting to move in and ‘roost’…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

In fact, if the DHS wasn’t run by and FOR bogants, it would almost be negligent parenting to NOT highlight the distinctions of the modern bogue condition to your offspring and those that don’t and are non-bogue should, could and would be reported for said negligence…

8 07 2010
Peter of Kensington

Geniuine,

I only skim read that, but it seemed like nothing more than a list of bad behaviours. Why not teach your children about bad behaviour rather than stereotypes?

Are you suggesting that the child James daughter saw (and rolled eyes at) will display similar behaviour simply because he had a different haircut? That sends a powerful message to an impressionable child.

8 07 2010
Peter of Kensington

James,

If you cannot see the danger in teaching your child to stereotype and judge based on appearance (e.g rats tail) then there is no point in continuing this discussion.

Don’t make me resort to drawing parallels with racial profiling, it’s as embarrassing as your ad hominem attack.

9 07 2010
James, anti Anti-Intellectual

“Racial profiling”? That is a very long bow to draw, Peter.

In any case, I will have to take you at your word that people other than bogans give their children rat-tails. I have never seen any evidence to support such an argument, but I accept that perhaps you have.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

I once rescued a baby in a shopping trolley. It’s mother had left the trolley ‘parked’ outside a bottle shop and her larger child, probably about 4, was standing guard. Only the kiddie accidentally kicked the trolley and it rolled away towards the car park. Just like some kind of freaking superhero, I chased it, with my own baby in my arms, and caught it just before it went straight into oncoming traffic. Instead of thanking me, or expressing relief of any kind, the horrible skank began screaming at the poor kid and calling him stupid. I should have kidnapped both the little ones and taken them home with me.

7 07 2010
miss dahl

Well Shirley, as every good mother knows, one can’t be seen taking small children into bottle shops! Just think of all that bad influence lining the shelves!

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Meh. I hope to teach my son how to make a bloody mary by the time he’s 4. For me. Not him.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Don’t forget the other skill that every 4 year old needs, packing bongs.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Bongs are too hard core for me these days Panda, but the rolling of a quality spliff is a skill that should not go untaught.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

A tightly rolled single paper scoob…aaahhh…CRITICAL life skilz…

9 07 2010
Antosha

I have ALWAYS maintained one should need to apply for, and receive a licence to have children.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Sadly there is only so much we can’t do…look after your MUST be a priority in these circumstances…

7 07 2010
Tombarina

I’m so proud for you, James.

*sniffle*

I, too, remember the first time my son pointed out a piercing on an under-10. He knew it was wrong….

7 07 2010
Ghengis of Coles Gungahlin

I think the same, but only on boys. In Italy, it’s ritualistic that girls have their ears pierced as a baby/toddler.

8 07 2010
Tombarina

Sorry, should have specified – these were single-ear piercings on a pair of feral-looking twin boys, aged about seven.

Both Mum and Dad had tatts galore, including on their necks, along with numerous piercings.

From memory, all four were missing teeth. So, to a large extent, they were all quite matchy-matching…just not in a Brady Bunch Skivvies-For-All kind of way…..

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And they reckon Scientology is a cult!

8 07 2010
Ghengis of Coles Gungahlin

Were they wearing Holden Racing Team or World Wrestling Entertainment clothing articles?

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Aiii…the young ‘uns know their true calling…

8 07 2010
Pete

Hey Shirl, someone summed up the escalator thing beautifully on the Scott Adams blog a while ago:

“Congratulations, you’ve successfully managed to go up an escalator. Why do you stop and look around when you get to the top? Do you not realize that you are standing in the direct path of the people behind you? Sure, might need a second to get your bearings but could you not do this three feet to either side? A machine whose sole function it is to deliver people to your exact coordinates is set to deliver a fresh batch of cargo any second – get out of the way. You’ve just traveled to a food court, not the lost city of gold. You don’t need to stand in awe of your surroundings. Seriously, get out of the way. No, don’t check your cell phone. GET OUT OF THE WAY.”

8 07 2010
pb

only one error in that otherwise great summation – to the bogue, the food court is the lost city of gold.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

That’s because they are protecting their precious do’h-nutty, megamaxxtemeachino-y cargo…

8 07 2010
laurenbee

Ha! I agree with you Simon.
I think it was Seinfeld that said “move it along people, its not a ride, there arent any moving pirates or bears”

I always think of that any time I am stuck behind some bogan breeding machine and her tribe of sticky offspring

7 07 2010
Davitt

Bogans depress me.

7 07 2010
Kat

These things are horrid. Donuts from the supermarket taste better.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

The Bogan continues to baffle me. They are intolerant & impatient yet they are willing to queue for hours, even days, for anything. Nightclubs, “free” things, concert tickets, autographs, you name it. But if you do not move one nanosecond after a traffic light turns green you get “the horn”. I am not kidding, I have received “the horn” after I commited the grievious offence of stopping at a STOP sign.

7 07 2010
martin

That’s because when they line up for stuff they’re with their own kind so they get self affirmation and validation. The bogan feels better that there are other people out there that suck as much as they do. When they’re not with their own kind they are racked with self doubt and a massive inferiority complex, and rightly so.

Probably one of the reasons why they like to watch Rugby League.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Panda

I like to sit a little longer than needed. Nothing better than watching an Alpha-Bogue loosing what brain cell It has over me. BAHAHAHAHA.

I don’t wind down the windows unless I am on my own (Masters and Miss Pinky are not use to such outbursts or language) but when I do get the chance I laugh and laugh and say “What? Sorry? I don’t speak stupid”

7 07 2010
Pandabater

You’re a brave girl P!nky, I have considered getting out & walking around my car looking for the problem that the car behind was warning me about but there are some serious looneys out there who have no problem with maxXxtreme violence.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Panda

Yeah, I wouldn’t do it somewhere without other motorist. Sh!t stirring is one thing I do well. ;)

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Hilarious…will definitely try that next time the Wollesey stalls…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Wolseley…damn this iPad spelling discombobulator…

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

@TGAoW

A Wolseley: my great-grandpop had one of those! a 1964 dark grey 24/80, if memory serves.

I bet parts are a nightmare to source! I admire your tenacity in keeping one on the road…makes maintaining a contemporaneous car like the EH Holden or XM Falcon look easy :o

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Essentially the Austin Freeway . They had a 6 cylinder version of the MGB motor. Both were dropped in favour of the Austin 1800 somewhere round about 1964/5 I think

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

And yes, he also had an Austin Freeway, languishing in the yard, too: no doubt as a parts car.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

XM Falcon? Bah! Just take down the dealership, they’ll sort it out!! ; )

7 07 2010
Chris

KK donuts really are the worst. Give me a fresh made donut from the Dunedoo Show or School Fete (that’ll get you running to your internets).
I wonder if their is a dichotomy between bogan love of KK donuts and bogan love of Masterchef, or whether the two overlap. Because with around 2 million viewers, I’m sure there is an overlap.
Speaking of Masterchef, I occasionally blog about it and other things at Missspelt Yooth (shameless plug). Do visit.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Shouldn’t that be ‘misspelt yoof’?

8 07 2010
Chris

Well, the misspelling of “missspelt” is intentional because, obviously, its misspelt. However, “yoof” would have been preferable and I may take that under advisement.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Pleasure is all mine squire!

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Just a thought ,Maybe the Australian guvmint could take out a Krispy Kreme franchise for Afganistan.
THE PLAN is they drop plane loads of donuts over the taliban day after day.
Taliban rapidly grow fat and lazy and give in completly when the Aust Guvmint threatens to with hold supply !
We then sell the franchise for more then we paid for it and keep the Aussie farmers happy for years supplying fat, flour and sugar to the taliban !

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ JH

Pure evil genius. Most excellent.

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Only one potential glitch: most likely the Taliban have enough discernment in taste to stay well away from KKs. Instead, you might attract burnt-out American soldiers there, thinking it to be sugary relief but falling into a trap, ensuring that they will not succeed, thus the humiliation from TWAT (The War Against Terror) will be complete.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

@martin.
hey f@ck you pal!

Rugby League is quite simply the finest spectator sport on the planet.
With the exception, possibly, of war.
And since war is bullsh!t, and the coverage is generally pretty poor, that leaves just Rugby Leage.
Demonstrating the civilised channelling of all the worst features of the homo sapiens into a benign game, a game featuring athletes trained to the highest level of all five of the elements of fitness, predicated on a sacred tautology (to promote the ball by not moving it forwards), in a format which is thrilling for it’s speed and agility and sheer physical force and is immediately comprehendable by the novice viewer, Rugby League has the potential to save civilisation as a vent for agression, competitiveness and territoriality without resort to actual violence (mostly).

Tonight on the television will be displayed the highest standard of the finest spectator sport on the planet in the world! (for one team anyway)
After enduring the primitive and simplistic attenuated ennui that is the soccer world cup, a known contributor to global tension I might add, one could consider oneself priveleged to be able to witness such a spectacle as the State of Origin.
to say the least.

so wise up. Youse have no idea what you are mocking. Follow just one season, I dare you. once you actually understand what you are witnessing you will join me in evangelising this most noble of human endeavours Rugby League Football.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Agree 110% Chubby, you couldn’t pay me to watch a game of that stupid bloody cross country basketball.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Chubs,

I often agree with you but here I am backing Martin.I lived in QLD for 2 years and had a genuine crack at adapting (since that is all you can get) but I just could not. It is a bloody stupid sport played by meatheads. Sorry but there it is.

7 07 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
I’m on your side if not your team on this.
Mrs H and I spent 22 years in SA and never became accostomed.
Used to get pleasure when asked what team do you follow I would say “Manly Wharingha” and Kay “St George”. See the looks.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

You dudes disappoint me. Anyway my footy team is cr*p this year so losing a bit of interest. Luckily the Tour de France is on now so I get 3 hours every day of one of the worlds great sporting endeavors.

7 07 2010
martin

I used to like watching Rugby League, when I was a child.

I like the game. I enjoyed playing it with friends when I was a kid. But it just gets ruined by such total and utter phucking meatheads that play it. It just reminds me of the most maxtreme dumbest bullying bogan imaginable and it piises me off. Even though I’m sure 80% of the people who play professional league are good enough blokes.

I’m a Manly supporter. For the two seconds per year that I give a phuck about it. So phuck you.

7 07 2010
martin

I agree with you about soccer. I was excited about the World Cup but my World Cup watching efforts were miserable. No hope of being awake at 4:30am to see Australia vs Germany so the next day I made sure I didn’t see any news so I could watch the replay at 12 noon. After only a few minutes it was clear that watching soccer is boring as shit and Australia sucked and Germany was your typical well oiled, efficient, classy, kick arse machine and Germany scored after about 5 minutes. So I though bugger this Australia has no chance and looked on the internet to see that it was a 4nil loss.

I don’t watch any sport. I don’t see the big thrill of watching other people win at sport. I didn’t have anything to do with it, I didn’t contribute, I didn’t display any skill or character by plonking my arse in front of the tele, I don’t gain anything from their win.

I guess one of the reasons why I was excited by the World Cup because unlike the OIympics we don’t spend 10 bazillion dollars on our soccer athletes. Which to me is basically cheating.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

WowChubs! Passione of this calibre has not been seen since Brocky took out the Hardie-Ferodo Bathurst 1000 in a toe-runna (Torana) A9X !! Or maybe even dicky Johnson in his XD v8…oh no wait, he lost it in qualifying…

7 07 2010
Sten

Oh well, orff to the Pub. See you all in the morning… oe afternoon, or whenever I feel like getting up.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Onya Sten.
Have one for me champ!

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Having wrestled the ‘phone from my husband…
As one who has overcome a slight bout of dysmorphia, I abhor the seven deadly carbs that constitue the Krispy Kreme craze (alliterate don’t appropriate).

I was taken with pb’s observations from the field this morning. It put me in mind of some folk I met on a road trip last year in Townsvile (the spelling is deliberate) All the young women in this particular group told me they were not only willing to “punch on” if it came to it, they were keen! A 17y.o. (the youngest) told me she had 80 fights! She was amazed that I had never actually been in a fight. Fortunately the bogan force is strong in my husband and they accepted me as his mate or I doubt I would have made it out alive.
Anyway, not to go all ACA on this but is femme bogue violence and therefore worthy of a TBL post? I know Glassing Cnuts has been done, but when I think of Glassing Cnuts, I think of cnuts Glassing Cnuts, y’know? Not “chicks”. This seems to be on the rise, and not just schoolyard scrag fight hair pullings. Glassings, stompings, stabbings, velvet rope melees. When since the Vikings have “chicks” been into MaxXxtreme violence.
This also ties in with another thing I suspect bogans like: Going Viral. Another lame orange limbed flail at celebrity.

Italics fixed! Edna chose not to close her formatting brackets. TBL

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Edna. Firstly, hello. I’ve missed you.

I was once the victim of a prolonged spate of violence from a femmebogue who has gotten it in her head that I’d stolen her boyfriend. It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the highlights, and you can fill in the blanks. She accosted me in a nightclub with a broken arm (from fighting some other slut, I was told) and said “So I hear you’ve been farking my farking boyfriend!” About an hour later she came and apologised and said “It’s not your fault. It’s just, he’s in HERE (points to her heart)” and hugs me. Following this instance, I received a number of aggressive phone calls with threats that she was going to “kick my kunt in”. Eventually, I walked into a bar one night, she was standing just in the entrance and she punched me in the face. I ran away.

So. I totally think TBL could, and should, do a post on pugilist skanks.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Oi! I’m all italic-ed up and shit. Nice.

7 07 2010
pb

edna and shirley, i completely agree with the need for a pugilist skank post. i actually remembered this afternoon another event i saw on a peak hour train early this year. the train was well and truly packed and yet this one nutty woman didn’t want anyone touching her. when another woman got on the train and had no choice but to stand next to her, she started screaming at her, calling her a prostitute (she was dressed in a work uniform, long pants and shirt). then she decided to hit this other woman, but she made a bit of a stupid decision because, while she was quite little, the other woman was considerably taller and bigger, and the second woman gave her a sharp slap back. so the first woman started hurling more abuse, a male passenger intervened to hold the first woman back, and he got repeatedly slapped across the face for his troubles. then, another passenger – a mild-looking middle aged man – told the first woman he was a psychologist and she needed serious psychological help, so she started screaming at him too. and all this while her five year old son watched on, terrified. when she got off the train at the next stop, the guards were already there – and apparently they were already familiar with her, she’d attacked other passengers before.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Damn!
I hate that.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Edna, what you have witnessed is feminism in the noughties. Every girl now has the right, no the duty to play, drink, f%&k & fight as hard as any man. If it’s good enough for the gander, it’s good enough for the goose.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Don’t forget ‘change spark plugs’ and ‘unblock drains’ like the gander Pand…

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Just want to see if I get italiced

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yep,

Panda has given the ladies many rights, including glassin and kicking each other in the kuntce. Why should we have all the fun.

7 07 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Feminism maybe, but I am sure you have been helping out Panda.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Thankyou Shirley. Amazed your “pugilist skank” (Nice One) knew which side her heart was even on.
You’d think TBL could be nice and close the tags for us.
:( rusty.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

I spotted the very same pugilist skank some time after these events when she was very drunk in the wee hours of the morning. She could be heard yelling to her friends “I’m not carrying my farking bag, on my farking birthday!” Oh how we laughed. And still do.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’ll fix this.

there.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

ooops…

*door slam*

*sound of receeding footsteps*

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

Cooooool.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Damn, what a skank.
What a laugh!

7 07 2010
Tombarina

Welcome back, Miss E!

I’ve already warned your husband that very, very bad things will happen if he doesn’t share that phone. Spankie things.

7 07 2010
Tombarina

Woo hoo! And in italics!
Classy-as, eh.

7 07 2010
Will S

Maybe this will turn the italics off.

Hey TBL, if you need another idea you could do a post on Zumba.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

And I really hope to see a movember post when the time is right.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

What’s going on, I feel the need to change my vote.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

having wrestled the phone from my wife at last…
@martin
I am accustomed to you speaking your mind in a frank and reasoned manner.
@simon you are wrong
@james you are wrong about Manly.
@shirley, panda and simon edna is grizzling at me for cutting her off from you and blah blah blah, now she says I’m rude and want to rub her out…
The World will be better when I am Emperor.
*sigh*
Footy’s On!

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Tell Edna to get back in the kitchen where she belongs……hey this leaning to the right is fun.

7 07 2010
Will S

Why do I suddenly feel a strong urge to deport all asylum seekers?

7 07 2010
pb

i’m putting alan jones on speed dial and changing my smh deliveries to the terror.

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

My husband is an Arse Hat.

Thank you Tombarina!
And thank you for getting *spank* in there.
I love that word!
(just the word. not the activity. not that that’s anyone’s business. not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m sure.)

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

leaning to the right will lead you in circles.

(Watch me shut this sh!t down boys…
What’s so good about anal? It’s twice as tight, twice as warm and three times more degrading to women.)

7 07 2010
Pandabater

you win Chubby, Godwin.

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Chubby always wins! LOL

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

Glad to know that there’s others who believe in maintaining standards around here!

Thanks Chubby! :)

7 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Goodnight all,

Off to watch Guren.

Behave please.
:D

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

@Shirley
What i really wanted to say (before my Arse Hat husband interrupted), was sorry. That is a horrible story to hear. The one juicy morsel to chew on is that we have the last laugh, in the face of all these stupid bints. Right now she is surrounded by a bevvy of orange hued vacuities. Likely the next you hear of her will be on an ACA/TT expose involving one or more footballers.

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Thank you for your empathy Edna, but it’s not necessary. You’re totally right. I got a punch in the face, but I, and you guys by proxy, get the last laugh. I’m cool with that.

7 07 2010
martin

Stop speaking in italics please

7 07 2010
Shirley M

1. It’s not our fault.
B. I like it! It makes everything you say seem unequivocally important!

7 07 2010
martin

Bold is better

7 07 2010
Shirley M

Sure. If you want to be a bossy boots.

7 07 2010
martin

I didn’t really mean it. I was just mucking around. tags work but inline styles don’t.

Testing

7 07 2010
Shirley M

I know, tiger. I know. ;-)

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

@pb
Yours is the premier case for not using public transport!
Femme-bogue violence is scary, widespread and growing into an epidemic. We’ll have to start wearing body armour and get in a UN Peace keeping Force for bogue hot spots and city entertainment precincts.
Maybe you could get a cattle prod, gas mask and some sort of sleepy spray for your commute?

7 07 2010
pb

i’m not sure how well a cattle prod or gas mask would fit into my bag, edna – sleepy spray could be good, though.

7 07 2010
7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh My god!
What is it with these bints?
Is it lack of self awareness? Inability to articulate one’s self? Need for celebrity? F#ck knows.
All i know is that it’s weak.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Edna, there are many reasons/causes for this behaviour, I was being serious above when I wrote about girls expressing their right to play, drink, fight etc like men, I also partly blame 3PATM, the Ladette culture, even seemingly inocuous ads on tv, one of those stupid mobile phone love tester ads has the girl throwing her drink into a mans face after he “fails” the mobile compatability test. Lack of decency & respect for others can be seen anywhere at anytime, look on channel 7 at this very moment, Pretty Woman movie is held up as some sort of womens beacon of empowerment (I LOVE this word, excuses everything, stripping, prostitution you name it, its OK she is in control, ha ha) All of these & many other factors make this behaviour/attitude acceptable & even to some aspirational.

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

You’re reading to much into it.

They’re just ill-mannered arseholes with no respect for themselves or anyone else. That’s it. Arseholes.

7 07 2010
Pandabater

You’re right Mick but how did the complete polar shift in behaviour & attitude happen in such a short period of time? That is the part that scares/concerns people.
I place the blame for this & everything else that is wrong in the world on The Hippies. They told us we didn’t need rules, we didn’t need anyone to tell us what to do & how to live our lives but they did not offer a decent alternative & chaos has resulted.

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

I have a horrible bogan past. I’ve been in too many fights over nothing. How did most of them start? Some femmebogue mouthing off. Then the bogue leaps in to defend their honour.

Nowadays glassing is cool. The femmebogue has a weapon that can stop a bloke. And she uses it. Her bogue is now redundant.

She has a schooner and won’t hesitate to use it. The femmebogue was always an arsehole. Now she’s armed and we should all be very frightened.

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

An example. I used to go out with a nuclear grade femmebogue. At a bbq one day with family members was one who was ex-bikie. Within five minutes of meeting this bloke this girl told ex-bikie type that I didn’t think harleys deserved to be called motorbikes.

Her eyes lit up. This screaming harpie was excited at the thought that we were going to go at it on the back lawn. The disappointment on her face was laughable when we sat down and discussed european bikes.

This is what they’re like, my friend. They like the anger. Now they have the weapons.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

They weren’t prepared for the bogan hordes of the north…

7 07 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

The Women’s Liberation Movement
celebrating 40 years of Women’s Right to behave like obnoxious slatterns in public.

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

now
wait
a
minute…
The Hippies???

Unless you mean the generation which devolved into the feckless slavering Boomers trolling the highways in their caravans and 4x4s by the million.
Barking at eachother about where they bin and what they’ve got.
Running their f#cking petrol generators all night so they can cook dinner in the microwave and watch packed to the f@cking rafters.
Seriously someone tell me what the f¥ck is wrong with f§cking drama production in this country!!!
Whining about how much everything was so much better back in their day before they cut it all down and dug it all up and f¤cking SOLD IT ALL to buy f*cking CARAVANS.
that generation?

7 07 2010
Pandabater

Yes, the Hippies, not the boomers but the ones who said you can’t discipline your kids, let them express their free spirit, Your parents can’t tell you what to do, you have rights, don’t listen to your teachers, what do they know? The lesson learned by children was to demand, not earn. Rights, respect, possesions, previously all of these things had to be earned but now they are demanded & if they are not granted immediately then chaos reigns, charges are laid, & we have the society we have now. So I blame The Hippies for coming up with this crap & us for listening to them.

7 07 2010
martin

The Hippies started it. Or at least they created the general infrastructure. A lot of the other boomers saw an investment opportunity and raped the phuck out of it. They’re the ones that became the neo cons. A lot of the so called hippies joined them whilst successfully retaining the hippy facade. I despise them both.

It pisses me off that I’m going to be about 50-60 when the boomers are gone and so won’t be able to benefit from their absence should there be any.

But I agree glassing is a symptom of the general entropy that society is embracing. It’s a symptom of overpopulation and the stress levels that come with it.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Let’s start a political party an fuck em all!

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Let’s start a political prate Martin an faaaark em all, we would get senate representation with just the followers here…no need to wait…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Parte = partei

7 07 2010
martin

You’d possibly be killed if you tried to really change things. Some say that JFK was killed because he stood up to the bankers. I think we need this depression that many are predicting. It would be nice to be in power at the moment to destroy things like the firewall.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Would be nice to destroy things like the debt record and the consumer driven capitalist framework…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

The hippies WERE the boomers fellas…who u talking bout?

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Neocons were the anti hippies of the ’60’s…Rumsfeld Cheney etc were interns in nixon’s administration (read ‘shafting’) and have been pulling the levers since…

8 07 2010
Shirley M

It wasn’t technically the boomers or the hippies. This isn’t something you can blame on a generation per se. This all began with the massive shift towards consumerism in the 1980s, and both the boomers and the hippies participated. If you want to lay blame, lay it firmly on the shoulders of Reagan.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Cmon guys…the hippies had an ethos…the bogues haven’t the smarts to figure all that out…they have massive cans, do’h nutz spelt with k’s and V power racing…the hippies saw what the bogans were doing and thought they could make it work by transposing it to the middle ‘clarz’…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Bogues are the silent stoopid masses the neocons need to fund their war and power mongering agendas through the tax take…keep em stoopid, aspirational, unhealthy, subservient and violent and kick back and harvest the taxes, they are so stoopid they won’t even see it happening let alone rise up in protest…

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Give em a dose of nationalistic pride and there is no end to the wars they will fight and the military spending that can be justified…much like another society in the thirties and forties…shhh nationalism…drape that flag shawl ova ya torso..

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Hippies put in effort and thought about things, boganz were just lazy…no comparison…

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

What’s happened is that there was a period when there were enlightened souls who wanted to live their lives in a libertarian fashion, unencumbered by rigid rules and mores. That was fine, because they themselves would usually live an examined life, i.e. question everything and stand by the consequences of your actions. These were the true Hippies.

What happened since is an abuse of these new-found freedoms: this suited those of neo-liberal bent, as it allowed those in positions of profiteering to capitalise on those who, granted this permissive new order, weren’t best able to make sound choices now, having been quarantined from these predators before. This agenda also suited the neo-liberals insomuch as that they could absolve themselves of any semblance of social responsibility after fleecing the lumpenproletariat, stating that were acting within the law and that these people were free to choose the direction they took; if it was the wrong one, then tough titties.

As much as I am a libertarian, I too recognise

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

“…stating that were acting within the law…” especially if you have the law makers in your employ and actually scam them into power in the first place…then you are set really, you have it all…I hope there is a history one day to look back at the Bush’s and claim they were way worse than some of the worst ‘leaders’ in history…biggest crime against humanity that caaant…made Reagan look like JF-frickin-K

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Great post btw – totally agree with you, v.insightful and well stated. If I could have thought about what you said, I would have said it that way…!

8 07 2010
Bag O'Turnips

(Oops, hit the publish button on my phone accidentally while “correcting” the spelling tool, which tried to Americanise my word…)

…that there are those who cannot, or will not, be able to make sound life choices, and thus it is incumbent of a functional society to, at some degree, protect those types of people from themselves, or at least minimise the opportunity for spivs to profit from their misery.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Whats wrong with eating doughnuts…sheesh!

7 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

It’s more than that panda. Somewhere along the line it changed from doing what you like as long as you don’t bother anyone else to doing what you like. Period.

There came a shift to selfishness and entitlement that is appalling. You can’t blame the hippies for that. It was people twisting it to suit their own evil endeavours.

I wish I knew where and when it started. I don’t know. I’ll blame Shane Warne. Yes, that’ll do.

Damn you to hell, Shane Warne.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I’m going for a scoob…too much blended scotch and neo politix for this time of night…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I will say this though…thie time is soooo right and we are sooo close to a tipping point…look at the pauleyeen haaanson effect…Australia is ready for ‘our’ revolution and it ain’t gonna be driven from an existing political party…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Started with house music in 1987…

8 07 2010
Mick - Now in Italics

I would think that a thesis could be written on the link between the devolution of society and Shane Warne’s birth in 1969.

Damn you to hell, Shane Warne.

8 07 2010
martin

I agree all this rap and techno has had a hideous effect. One of the reasons why I hated it and still do. Gang culture permeates the greater society. So many of the bogans embraced it and became wiggers. They’re scum.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

scumnthat…

7 07 2010
chubbybloodfart

@panda
my. you are leaning to the right.

7 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Xacry chubs…

7 07 2010
Rouge Bogue

Just came from the State of Origin game three at ANZ Stadium, Sydney (hey I had been given free tickets). It was a bogue-fest to the maxxtreme. I took some pictures of some truly bogue-esque behaviour. But most importantly I managed to snap pics of a Krispy Kreme Kart, in action, just outside the bathrooms, directly in the stadium, right near the seating!

Yes, they can now arm themselves with alcohol, dagwood dogs (surely these, or ‘carnival food’ in general, deserves the TBL listing treatment???), and now donuts, and stuff themselves stupid with several ‘courses’, in what is effectively a 90-minute session (yep, they can’t go more than 90 minutes without fat and sugar intake)…

I’ll post links to the pics once i get them up. Better still, as i was snapping the stand, a bogue jumped in and did that ‘wide open mouth with two thumbs up looking at the camera’ pose, which frames my shot splendidly…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Can’t wait to see them…as far as the carnies go, did you see yesterday’s posts…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

The carnie (showgan – thanks Sten!) is in fact a precursor to the modern day bogan. A nomadic, (see their caravan-caravan parked behind the ferris wheel and merry-go-round) shamanistic (see them hit the little yellow duck targets with the dodgy air rifle that intentionally doesn’t shoot straight) tribal bogan that may well represent the bogan evolutionary ‘missing link’ that bridges the colonial/convict evolutionary lineage with the pre-contemporary old skool bogan…evolutionarily it is like the crocodile or the shark that evolved to master it’s environment, out-evolved it’s natural predators and didn’t need to evolve any further and so remained at an evolutionary plateau…Roaming free where the family supplements (parts A & B) and benefits are most plentiful… 

8 07 2010
Tombarina

“…a Krispy Kreme Kart, just outside the bathrooms…”

Now THAT’S synergistic product placement.

My (Qlder) brother took his 7yo son to last night’s game. When the 7yo cheered at a Maroon try, a nearby Blues bogue threatened to “take him down”. Big man…..

8 07 2010
Brimstone

What the hell is wrong with Krispy Kreme? do you hate happiness? do you hate joy?
they make the best doughnuts. we used to drive hours to get them in the States

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
From time to time you get up set by the like of me making statements disparaging about yanks. (see i’m using the polite term as a sign of friendship) Then you go and blow any progress you may have made with your rehabilitation by making a set of statements like these. You realy sound like a sick puppy from a sick litter from the wrong side of the tracks when you saay the KK make the best doughnuts. That is like saying that KKK make the best toasted marshmellows . As for equating KK with Happiness and Joy ? That is quite bizarre and believe me when it comes to bizarre I know what is bizarre. Do you realy think that endorsing KK with the resultant diabeties ,obesity, and the concomitant embolisms, amputations heart attacks, to mention just the high points, is socially responsible ? I appreciate that in the yank pond (U.S.A.) most every one is obese and for a nation that has doughnuts and sticky rolls for breakfast it is the expected thing but please never try to promote the obsenity abroad.

8 07 2010
AntiPajero

JH, I admire your fervour. I think.
But sometimes I think you’re half a step away from disappearing out bush, fortifying a compoud, and stocking it with beef jerky..!

8 07 2010
James Hunter

AntiP,
I wouldnt be paranoid if they would stop picking on me ?
Under intense questioning I would have to admit to just a tad of “strawman” in some of my entries. and a little toung in cheek.
Still though the beef jerky sounds like a good idea.I will add it to my lambs toungs in aspic !

8 07 2010
Brimstone

i eat sticky rolls for breakfast every day, but not from Krispy Kreme
but KK really is tasty. they’re melt in your mouth good, and i say that as someone who grew up on Dunkin Donuts. there was an outlet about an hour from me in the States and yes, sometimes the family would make an extra trip to pick them up

they’re quite tasty. there’s nothing wrong with enjoying food

8 07 2010
Brimstone

“Do you realy think that endorsing KK with the resultant diabeties ,obesity, and the concomitant embolisms, amputations heart attacks, to mention just the high points, is socially responsible ?”

i enjoy food. i don’t enjoy it because it’s ‘socially responsible’. if i did, i’d become a vegetarian
i realize this site is populated by joyless snobs but posts like this bring it home

8 07 2010
Shirley M

Joyless snobs!

I’m very experienced in the field of joy, and yes, food can be a source of joy. But the day I experience joy from eating a KK donut, I will personally have one of those mega donut party boxes couriered to you, Brimstone.

P.S. You’ve totally missed the point of the missive.

8 07 2010
Tombarina

Brim, I love my tucker. I love meat, fish, fruit, vegies, hot, salty, spicy and sour.

What I do not love is stuff that makes me feel worse for having eaten it WHILE I’M STILL GOING. Things that have that effect: hot dogs, fried rice, deep-fried anything and K-freakin’-Ks and their ilk.

So I’m not being a food snob when I say I think they’re vile – I truly do speak from the heart of my bottom.

And when I’m the Dark Emperor, I shall ban sugar-laden drinks, hi-cal low-val fried crap and KK. I’ll also be outlawing Gloria Jeans, Starbucks, Justin Beiber, anything pertaining to Twilight, jeggings, Packed To The Rafters, John Farnham’s interminable farewell tours, and any further recordings by Human Nature, because they’re just too $hitful to be permitted to continue. One day…..

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

HERE HERE!! I SECOND THE MOTION! Can I be your Vader?

8 07 2010
Tombarina

I think this is about the 1000th threat on TBL to form a breakaway government, but hey, what the hell – you’re Vader!

New policy suggestions always welcome. Preferably ones that simply involve banning stuff – that’s how we roll in this Empire.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Yes m’lord…anything that has more than 10% fat and 8% sugar and 3% saturated fat and ANY transfat by weight should be outlawed…simple as a pimple (which would probably be banished also if this were followed…) along with ALL nicotine/tobacco ‘products, alcohol that contains more than 20% alcohol by volume, rice, wheat, coffee, sugar, beef, anything that needs more water and energy in than comes out…sheesh, don’t get me started…I’d teach every despot that was new things…people would WANT Stalin and Pol Pot back! I’d make Darth Vader look like JBieber crossed with a tweeny babysitter…

8 07 2010
Tombarina

You’re scaring me, TGA. I don’t think I can live in a world without beef. Or coffee.

I’d be a very sad Dark Emperor….

8 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

I love the breakaway government thread, and this time it’s THEMED!! WOOT

8 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brim

You know I really think your a cool guy, but that is not enjoyment of food, that is chemicals triggering your brain and making you think your happy.

I’m a food snob, but I can name a million things I would eat before ever allowing KK to pass my lips again.

I think you have to realise that no everyone thinks like an American.

8 07 2010
Mick

To say all Americans think one way is equivalent to saying all Australians think like bogans.

I’ve met many in my travels and they’re an eclectic bunch. Some pains in the arse and some delightful company. They’re just people.

8 07 2010
Shirley M

Well said Mick. I think some people fall victim to tarring all Americans with the same brush, based on the US governments stance, and what they see on TV. I find it particularly interesting that some of the folk who post here fall into that category, when they are so mad keen on separating themselves from arguably the majority of the Australian population and actively mocking them.

8 07 2010
AntiPajero

Brimstone, There are very few references to Hate in this entry. One of its tags is “baffling”, which is about as strong as we’re getting.

You think the Krispies are the best? Fine and arguable.
You would drive for hours to get them? Garden variety baffling.
You equate them with happiness and joy? Only through sheer force of will could I, for one, be more baffled.

8 07 2010
pb

i’ve never had a krispy kreme so can’t comment on what they taste like, although high fat and sugar cakes aren’t my favourite. what i find strange about krispy kreme, though, is the obsession and esteem they are held in. and the fact people queued for hours to buy them when they were first available, and will take boxes of them from one side of the country to the other. i’m all for having a food obsession or two but krispy kreme seems often taken too far.

8 07 2010
Brimstone

that was deliberate marketing. the originally keep supply low to increase demand. now that Krispy Kreme is common i’m actually less likely to eat them, though this post has triggered my cravings

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Joyless Brimy? Joyless? Can I say, I have had more joy here in the last 48 hours than I have watching most ‘entertainment’ in the cinemas and on the idiot panel? Snobs? Us? No…well, maybe a little, it could be debated with some likelyhood in the affirmative, if maybe bogues weren’t present…maybe LOLFiona…anyway the point we are making is that these substances…ohhh…so you would enjoy heroin then? Or ICE? or GHB? Not because it is socially irresponsible but because you feel good after having it? Happyness and joy for some come from making a call on the worth of something based on the harm it does to those that don’t know any better and partake without knowing the consequences…driving for days for doughnuts just isn’t rational, sorry if you have done it, I understand if it was for picking white truffle or oysters (or both) but for something as dangerous as KK’s…if they were a medication, they wouldn’t pass approval in this country…

8 07 2010
Brimstone

we never ‘drove for days’ but there was an outlet an hour away from us
as for drugs… i don’t do hard drugs because they don’t agree with me but i don’t think they should be illegal

8 07 2010
Brimstone

i think the danger of a site like this is crossing the line between ‘these things are silly’ and ‘these things make you a Bad Person’. Stuff White People Like was fine because it was satirizing a group that the author belonged to….

8 07 2010
Shirley M

I don’t understand that logic. If I were to start a blog ‘stuff women like’ and make derisive observations, I don’t see how that’s any more acceptable because I am a woman. How could I possibly be representative of half the worlds population? Likewise, just because the author of ‘stuff white people like’ was white, doesn’t make him representative of all white people, therefore I can’t see how it makes it more ok for him to mock caucasians than it would be for a black person. Satire is satire, whether you are one of the subjects or not.

8 07 2010
Brimstone

Stuff White People Like was a hipster mocking hipsters
this isn’t a bogan mocking bogans

8 07 2010
Shirley M

That bit I understand. The bit I don’t understand is why it’s necessary to be in the group in order to mock it without reproach.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I know, I have never understood this…if you are a Jew, you can go to town denigrating, ridiculing and trashing jews and their culture and customs (kulture? kustoms? starting to feel like krusty the klown here…) but whooaa betide any gentile that tries this…you are INSTANTLY AND RUTHLESSLY CUT, labelled anti-semitic, a jew hater, nazi, racist, biggot etc…

10 07 2010
Othello Cat

There are exceptions to any rule.

Australian writer Anthony Lowenstein — a Jewish man — has come under much fire from the Australian community for daring to question Zionism. When he launched his book, “My Israel Question” he was labelled a “self-hating Jew” by representatives of Jewish community groups.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Quite a few people here are self confessed bogans…and LOVE it (the blog I mean).

13 07 2010
PD

Personally, I think there is a little bit of bouge in all of us …

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Where is it stated or implied that anyone here has indicated you are a bad person if you eat KK doughnuts? We are using satire to deride the motivations of others and express our distaste with their myopic, selfish, thoughtless behaviour. Please help me make this connection?

8 07 2010
Brimstone

WTF is selfish about eating donuts?

8 07 2010
AntiPajero

“These things are silly” is not really this blog’s point.

Each entry is only intended (I believe) to add another garish colour to our mental chariacature of the bogan.

That said, I think some of the commenters cross the civility and sensibility line some of the time. Not enough for me to care, though.

As far as satire goes, it’s all supposed to be supercilious, otherwise it’s not satire. And we do it because they can’t satirise themselves. They really can’t.

8 07 2010
AntiPajero

caricature > chariacature

Poop.

8 07 2010
pb

i’d say the tone of this article is less about krispy kremes themselves and more about the attitude and mythology that has built up around them, the way some people think you’e a weirdo if you don’t eat them.
they do also seem a bit gross because of the sugar and fat content, but i’ve eaten and enjoyed poutine – which is both disgustingly unhealthy and wonderfully delicious at the same time. different tastes for different people.
so basically, while i (and others) don’t see the appeal of kk, i don’t have any problem with them in and of themselves. i just find the obsession bizaare.

8 07 2010
Brimstone

the mythology is carefully set up by Krispy Kreme itself

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
In cases like this it is easy, any take away food or fast food that originated in the USA is junk and should be outlawed. Reason anything “edible” from over there is ALWAYS loaded to the gunwales with sugar , fat, flour, fat , sugar, flour artificial anything , artificial everything.
The insideous intrusion of these things into OUR society is as deplorable as the other forms of USA imperialism such as corruption of English language and spelling, a use it and trash it mentality that rewards junk manufacturing practices along with a propensity to start wars for domestic political purposes and then to “invite” all your “allies” to help do the job that you can’t finish on your own.
So you see KK is just the thin(sic) end of another red white and blue wedge that we and the rest of the world realy do not need.

Now I must go and man the watch tower in case a C.I.A. black helicopter comes to abduct me from Australian soverign soil to have me removed top a third party soil for rendition for speacing out against the dark forces. Just another ILLEGAL USA practice. God help us if Australia sent Asio and special forces to kidnap for torture some of the many possible target in your country. !! There would be yet another war , but shit at least we would not be asked to join in !!

I think I hear some one at the front door… Helllllllllp… hel…..

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Tally Ho Jimmy! Gunwhale? Floats your boat? (Teak trimaran or speedboat?) A sailor perhaps? Great to see the weak, stupid and narrow minded getting pummelled by some good old fashioned Aussie anti-yank, anti cultural-hegemony…You have my vote! Damned Yankee ruination…anything that has more than 10% fat and 8% sugar and 3% saturated fat and ANY transfat by weight should be outlawed…simple as a pimple (which would probably be banished also if this were followed…) along with ALL nicotine/tobacco ‘products, alcohol that contains more than 20% alcohol by volume, rice, wheat, coffee, sugar, beef, anything that needs more water and energy in than comes out…sheesh, don’t get me started…I’d teach every despot that was new things…people would WANT Stalin and Pol Pot back!

8 07 2010
Brimstone

and fuck off, both of you. you’re bigots. America isn’t perfect but i’d prefer our ingenuity and love of freedom to the lazy, ‘she’ll be right, mate’ attitude of Australians
a bit of American style gung-ho vitality would be great help in fighting the Internet filter

8 07 2010
Brimstone

and i WISH America would send some commandos over here to defend free speech

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Unlike your hypocritical cancer of a country, we don’t claim to HAVE a bill of rights, and we don’t enshrine ‘free speech’ in such a BS device to keep the uneducated minless hoards THINKING they have freedom when they clearly dont. Idiot. But you know what? ‘COURSE YOU DO, YOU’RE ‘MERICAN…

8 07 2010
Brimstone

er, we do have freedom of speech. the Supreme Court often upholds protections for journalists, activists, and pretty much anyone else

you’d prefer no freedom?

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

‘Freedom’ ? ‘Merican freedom? I’d prefer NOT ‘Merican freedom’.

8 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@Brim

In Australia we have an implied freedom of speech. Not like the American Freedom of Speech.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

THE BRIMSTONE do you hate happiness? do you hate joy? RANT…

“What the hell is wrong with Krispy Kreme? do you hate happiness? do you hate joy?
they make the best doughnuts. we used to drive hours to get them…”

‘COURSE YOU DO, YOU’RE ‘MERICAN…

“…i eat sticky rolls for breakfast every day…”

‘COURSE YOU DO, YOU’RE ‘MERICAN…

“KK really is tasty. they’re melt in your mouth good…”

‘COURSE THEY ARE…THE’RE ‘MERICAN. WHAT ARE YOU A FRIKKIN KRISPEE KREEM EVANGELIST?

“…i enjoy food. i don’t enjoy it because it’s ‘socially responsible’. if i did, i’d become a vegetarian…”

‘COURSE YOU DO, YOU’RE ‘MERICAN…’COURSE YOU WOULD, IF YOU WERN’T ‘MERICAN…

“…this post has triggered my cravings…”

COURSE IT HAS CAUSE THIS MUCH FAT AND SUGAR IN ONE SERVING ACTS AS A CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM DRUG…A HIGHLY ADDICTIVE AND TOXIC DRUG…

“…there’s nothing wrong with enjoying…”KK, McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Coke, Pepsi…or anything from the following list…

HMMM…NOTHING? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG? HMMM…

http://www.slashfood.com/2009/01/25/the-worst-food-in-america/

http://eatthis.menshealth.com/articles_and_tips/the_worst

HMMMMMMMMMM…..LETS SEE HERE….

The Baskin Robbins large chocolate Oreo shake is the new Worst Food in America, according to Men’s Health. This diabetes-bomb has 2,600 calories, 135 grams of fat (59 of them saturated), 263 grams of sugar and 1,700 mgs of sodium.

This diabetes-bomb has 2,600 calories, 135 grams of fat (59 of them saturated), 263 grams of sugar and 1,700 mgs of sodium.

This diabetes-bomb has 2,600 calories, 135 grams of fat (59 of them saturated), 263 grams of sugar and 1,700 mgs of sodium.

Read more: http://www.slashfood.com/2009/01/25/the-worst-food-in-america/#ixzz0t4QHFmSc

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I challenge you to find ANY single serve of take away/convenience/fast food in Australia that even comes CLOSE to this…mmm…freeeeeeedom…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Those that know better would NEVER put something like this into their bodies, those that don’t know better would…therefore, this ‘concoction’ is designed to make people that don’t know better sick whilst making the shareholders RICH. This is exploiting and preying on the stoopid. THAT DON’T KNOW BETTER. Yep, shure do want to live in a country where you are FREE to do this to your vulnerable, weak, poor and uneducated…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

This is what happens when you have to pay for health care and it isn’t universally provided. See the people that get sick from these foods don’t get health care so they will just die a horrible death from these substances. And who cares anyway? If a government had to pay for people to be treated, they would look at foods like this and outlaw them so the taxes could be better used elsewhere in the healthcare system. Some protection would be provided to the vulnerable that don’t know better. Mmmm. Freedom.

8 07 2010
Brimstone

in tastiness?

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Tackyness?

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

HMMM…

http://eatthis.menshealth.com/content/16-restaurant-industry-secrets?article=1&page=1
Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing
2900 calories 182 g fat 240 g carbs (HOW MUCH SODIUM?)

This weapon of mass construction is the caloric equivalent of eating 14 Krispy Kreme doughnuts, before your dinner arrives. Even if you split this “starter” with 3 friends, you’ll have downed a meal’s worth of calories.

AUSSIE? AUSSIE? This is what Yankees do to Aussie food? You would be hard pressed to find anything link this in Australia…

WHERE IN AUSTRALIA DO WE PUT RANCH DRESSING ON FRIES?

http://eatthis.menshealth.com/all-articles

http://www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/worst-foods-in-america-50052510

HMMM…LETS JUST GOOGLE ‘worst food in America’…HMMM…

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/20-worst-foods-america

Worst Kids’ Meal – Macaroni Grill Double Macaroni ‘n’ Cheese

1,210 calories 62 g fat 3,450 mg sodium

3,450 mg sodium? 3,450 mg sodium????

THEY FEED THIS TO CHILDREN?

http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/asksam/agesandstages/childrenandbabies/
The maximum amount of salt a child should have depends on their age:
1 to 3 years – 2 g a day (0.8g sodium)
4 to 6 years – 3g salt a day (1.2g sodium)
7 to 10 years – 5g a day (2g sodium)
11 and over – 6g a day (2.4g sodium)
Babies under a year old should have even less salt.

Trans fatty acids are a form of dietary flab invented in the beginning of the 20th century by food marketers looking for a cheaper, easier way to keep baked goods fluffy and moist while they sat for days or weeks on the supermarket shelf. On your grocery shelf, you’ll find it under names like “shortening” or “partially hydrogenated oil.” In your local restaurant… well, you won’t find it listed at all, because restaurants in most parts of the country aren’t required to reveal it. By now, almost everybody knows that trans fats are the food additive that should rarely pass your lips. They add useless calories, build bad cholesterol (known as LDL), and lower your good cholesterol (known as HDL). The American Heart Association says you should only consume 2 grams or less of trans fats in our daily diets. (And we say less. Zero is a good number.) So why on earth is trans fat still in food if it’s so terrible? Because even though trans fats may shorten your life, they actually add to shelf life of baked goods, and keep the deep-fat fryers stoked batch after batch. Choosing between your personal health and their own financial health, some chain restaurants and food manufacturers go the wrong way.

“WTF is selfish about eating donuts?”

HMMM…

Rising obesity will cost U.S. health care $344 billion a year
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/weightloss/2009-11-17-future-obesity-costs_N.htm

Hmmm…I know if I were running a nation I would rather spend $344 BILLION a year on the effects of eating doughnuts and the like instead of say…EDUCATION…or…UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE…or say…ERADICATING DISEASES…or say…INVESTING IN NON POLUTING ENERGY TECHNOLOGY…like maybe…FUSION POWER…

“…we talked about their innovative marketing to somebody… i think it was a ‘tradie’ who was helping us move in. and how they should expand to Aus and make a mint…”

HMMM…CRAVINGS?…INNOVATIVE?…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

The 400 Richest Americans 2009
RANK NAME NET WORTH ($MIL) AGE RESIDENCE SOURCE
1 William Gates III 50,000 53 Medina Microsoft
2 Warren Buffett 40,000 79 Omaha Berkshire Hathaway
3 Lawrence Ellison 27,000 65 Redwood City Oracle
4 Christy Walton & family 21,500 54 Jackson Wal-Mart
5 Jim C. Walton 19,600 61 Bentonville Wal-Mart
6 Alice Walton 19,300 60 Fort Worth Wal-Mart
7 S. Robson Walton 19,000 65 Bentonville Wal-Mart
8 Michael Bloomberg 17,500 67 New York Bloomberg
9 Charles Koch 16,000 73 Wichita manufacturing, energy
9 David Koch 16,000 69 New York manufacturing, energy
11 Sergey Brin 15,300 36 Palo Alto Google
11 Larry Page 15,300 36 San Francisco Google

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2009/54/rich-list-09_The-400-Richest-Americans_Rank.html

The richest Americans are not all that generous
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/thebusinessofgiving/2011019178_the_richest_americans_are_not.html

Where in the world is a good economy?
Australia withstood the global economic crisis better than most developed countries. Though GDP dipped slightly in both 2008 and 2009, the country nevertheless had positive growth as the global recession sent many economies, including the United States, to negative GDP levels.
After a mild downturn, Australia is showing signs of a strong rebound.

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2010/fortune/1006/gallery.Good_Econ.fortune/index.html

Innovative? INNOVATIVE???

ingenuity and love of freedom? LOVE OF FREEDOM?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh…oh…BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

“…and fark off, both of you. you’re bigots. America isn’t perfect but i’d prefer our ingenuity and love of freedom to the lazy, ‘she’ll be right, mate’ attitude of Australians…”

Innovative? INNOVATIVE???

ingenuity and love of freedom? LOVE OF FREEDOM?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh…oh…BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Iraq: Wikileaks video of US military killing journalists
http://boingboing.net/2010/04/05/wikileaks-video-of-u.html

Fact Sheet: Extraordinary Rendition
http://www.aclu.org/national-security/fact-sheet-extraordinary-rendition

http://www.wsws.org/articles/2010/may2010/bagr-m12.shtml
US continues to detain, torture prisoners at secret Afghan base
By David Walsh 12 May 2010

Room 641A
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room_641A

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

The US National Debt has continued to increase an average of
$4.12 billion per day since September 28, 2007! CURRENTLY AT $13,163,589,099,388…DEBT PER TAX PAYER = $119,072
ttp://www.usdebtclock.org/

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Scorecard of North American pollution – 5.5 billion kilograms of toxic pollutant releases and transfers were reported in 2005.
Of these, 90% are 30 substances from 15 industrial sectors.

http://envirolaw.com/scorecard-of-north-american-pollution/

8 07 2010
Shirley M

When did this turn into a slag off the US bonanza?

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I don’t think Brimstone can rationally defend her comments/insinuations here…

8 07 2010
Shirley M

In some respects I agree with you, but bombarding the page with facts about US debt etc. etc. is not going to solve that problem.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

You are right and I wasn’t trying to solve anything, just bring some attention to what the ‘problem with eating doughnuts’ is and responding to some of her other koments…all done now…rant over…

9 07 2010
Brimstone

I’m a guy and, honestly, you’re making my point for me. I said ‘i like donuts’ and you spammed massive walls of text about how much America sucks

you win, i guess

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

No, Brim, you said “WTF is selfish about eating donuts?”, amongst some other pretty shitty things – I have given you my reply. And we all know what you said, re-read your posts if you have ‘forgotten’. I am not trying to win here but nor will I be treated like a dumbfaaakncaaantnthat bogan either.

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And just so we are clear, you said you preferred your freedom and innovation and wanted commandos to come and sort out our ‘filter’ or such and I wanted to highlight the absolute, total hypocrisy of your statements. You eulogise about your country like it is the Earth’s gift to the rest of the planet and yet you are not happy when I post a few paragraphs of links and info that contradicts what you say and you claim I am ‘spamming the blog with walls of text…’ I don’t need to say any more about this, re-reading it all again today, I can see it is all very clear to everyone…people here can work it out.

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And if Room 614a isn’t something FAR WORSE than a ‘filter’… I suppose in Amerika there is freedom to pretty much do anything you want until komandos in gas masks and toting M4 Carbines storm your house from blacked out windowed SUV’s and helicopters…

8 07 2010
AntiPajero

Bah! I call Poe’s law on this exchange. Far too much of it simply can’t be real. Can I get a link?

8 07 2010
Brimstone

I’m real. not sure about Genuine Article of Westurbia. between July 4th and the Internet filter i’ve been thinking alot about American values lately

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Read carefully my fellow blogger…

8 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

Dude (Genuine)

You kill of my beloved coffee you have an arch enemy in me. Coffee is my love and obsession.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Pinky I feel your pain…I too drink 4 to 8 espressos a day in various forms of short black, latte or cappuccino but have you looked at how much water goes to irrigate ONE cup of coffee? Please look this up for yourself…if it were up to me, we would kill all males, do away with food and all the remainder of the population would be living on rainwater and spirullina…there is no other logical way but…are we talking about sustainability or just doing the best with what we have? Have you seen what the earth needs to give the Indians and chinese with a lifestyle comparable top our our own? We need 4 earths to give These people what we take for granted…how do we achieve this?

9 07 2010
Will S

Dude, judging by the comments you should cut that coffee intake just a little bit.

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

lulz…down to 4 – 6 a day at the moment…

8 07 2010
8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

JIM!…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

J I I I M M M M E E E E E . . . . . . . . . .

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Brim, maybe you like the KK’s because of the cognitive dissonance their manipulative, ‘scarcity marketing’ created in your mind? More effort you go through to get them, the more you must like ‘em…cause really…they are fried flour and sugar…have you driven an hour for a pizza before?

8 07 2010
Brimstone

i come from a foodie family. of course we’ve driven an hour for good pizza

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

KK’s? Foodie? KK’s?

8 07 2010
Brimstone

*shrug*
foodies and we like Krispy Kreme. i grew up in a family that banned junk food and fast food and we still ate their doughnuts

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
It is this capacity of Americans that you are here demonstrating that rankles and amazes; the ability to simultaineously hold diametrically opposite views without either being aware or uneasy. a family the banned junk food AND still ate doughnuts !!!. My oh my. you obviously missed Philosophy 1.1

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

what JH said…

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Wacha mean TGA ?

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

“…the ability to simultaineously hold diametrically opposite views without either being aware or uneasy…” Just the sheer loonacy, help us all…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

I once loved the idea of America, of the ‘intent’ or the sentiment, or even just the selctively good bits (whilst ignoring the bad) but sadly, there is less and less good as time goes on and I just detest what it has become and what it will probably be coming ‘in the not too distant future in (war) theatres near you…’

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Must require either phenominal mental powers or none at all. Havent figured that bit out as we.
Probably need a lab and about a dozen labyanks to research this pluss a controll group….
Still thats a whole new project.
I dont know as to which department at the university to address a request for funding our Phd as I can see it fitting with Philosophy, Psychology, Parapsychology, Biology, Theology,Medicine or even Welfare Studies.
Any sugestions ?.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Oh JH…we are 2 decades too late…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Talk to me JH…anything (any fink?) is better than no fink right now…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Or a big mac meal?

8 07 2010
James Hunter

TGA ( not Theraputic Goods Administration )
You were so much on my team UNTIL you used that oxymoron “Big Mac MEAL ” Bahahahahah

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Bahaha indeed! Meal! BAHAHAHA…I think I have deposited enough in the account to warrant a small withdrawal JH…its not like I have…eaten one…and besides…you need the sugar and fat from the fries (hence the ‘meal’) to even come close to COMPARING the quantities 5 d’oh nutz provide. And even so, being so quick to punish and being unforgiving is itself a trait…and you are waaaay more empathetic than that.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Not wanting to ‘piss in your pocket’ JH…to borrow from a bogue saying…and TGA is fine if Jimmy is acceptable…

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Whatever floats your boat s’long as its not KK or KKK Or…Or…

8 07 2010
julie

Perhaps Brimstone’s experience with KK is different because he/she is from the States where it originated. It may have a different image or following over there? This article may be confined to Australian culture if it is to remain relevant. Great article though…I found it funny!

8 07 2010
Brimstone

it’s pretty funny… we basically predicted this. when we first moved to Aus Krispy Kreme had just got big in the States. we talked about their innovative marketing to somebody… i think it was a ‘tradie’ who was helping us move in. and how they should expand to Aus and make a mint

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Make a mint? Oh you mean further expand the burden of obesity on OUR health care system and ship the profits back to ‘Merica?

8 07 2010
Brimstone

penny pinching about other people making you pay more for health care? you’re sounding pretty American to me!

8 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brim

My head hurts. I like American’s. But I do think about and read about, how the capitalist government is some what delinquent in the care for Its people. I am sorry to say that I find the Health Care system in America a violation of not only international Civil Rights but also international Human Rights. With no provision for those who are most vulnerable in your society seems cruel and unjust. How is this so? How is it the ancestors of those who fought to free the slaves in the south can stand by and allow people to die of common treatable disease and all because they were poor.

If you look at Canada, they have universal health care. Are they communists? Do they see bureaucrats instead of Docs? No, I don’t think so. How are you not outraged that you have to pay over and above the actual cost for meds and surgery? I don’t understand and really want someone to enlighten me

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Pinkster,
I doubt if you will recieve a rational response to that. Obama tried to address the issue but Big Business( drug and health care(sic) companies rule.
Most yanks will come back and say its all OK because people have free choice.
Yep that’ll do it every time. the people have a choice and they chose to be poor and uninsured. sure hard to beat that logic. Brimstone has already demonstrated cognitive dissonance so dont expect too much.
Pity cause when in his more lucid state he comes out with worthwhile comments. Just too easily reverts to type.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

JH! My brother! Kindred spirit! And a stranger i have posted with in 24 hours…and we started talking about doughnuts this morning!

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Appologies , young man , but I have been reading up on russian rocket motor history and developments most of the night.
However :
Maybe a DoughNut is just a WealthyYank ??
Hahahahahahaah
as Aerial said to Miranda “I must away”

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Best of luck with that JH…

9 07 2010
Brimstone

the Australian healthcare system is one of the few things i like about this place

9 07 2010
James Hunter

Brimstone,
It is not perfect but it sure is not bad.
The Poms National Health also is not bad. Even as a visiting Aussie I once recieved immediate and free visit to a doctor and medication.

10 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brim

I hope there is more than the health care that you like about us. Should I be even more embarrassed about being Australian? What have we done? :?

12 07 2010
Brimstone

you barely have a culture, history, or national ideals. Nick Cave, AC/DC, and George Miller are cool but your broadband is slow, you love nature more then technology, nobody takes anything seriously and everything feels really isolated

but i need that healthcare

12 07 2010
Shirley M

It concerns me that you think we should like technology more than nature. Are you some kind of android?

You’re wrong about the history, too. And I think if you tried you could find some cooler australian music that Nick Cave and AC/DC

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Noe we are getting the discussion moving forward pinky…progress!

9 07 2010
Brimstone

but just ’cause i enjoy cheap/free healthcare doesn’t mean i have to hate everything about my home country

your ‘people who eat bad food are a DRAIN ON THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM’ is one of the classic American ‘fuck you, i’ve got mine!’ arguments against universal healthcare

10 07 2010
P!nky Has A Bra!n

@ Brim

I don’t hate everything about Australia, but there are A LOT of things that I take issue with.

The thing I like about being Australian is that is expected that I am going to slag off the pollies. I find that a lot of American’s that I know struggle with this. Your Presidents seem above mere mortals. And that doesn’t sit with me.

There’s lots of stuff about the states that I love. Mainly how awesome some of national parks are and am waiting impatiently to see them myself. I think American’s are a pretty good bunch. It’s the government that scares me. (Ref my post above.)

Brim,
I have always enjoyed your commentary on here, I love your American view. I hope you don’t stop commenting because of this thread. This is not the finest example of how Australia views America.

10 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And please don’t confuse me critically evaluating some of the things you said and gave some of my answers to some of the things you asked and responded to some of the things you levelled at me that I am thoughtlessly anti American. I enjoy a standard of living and ‘personal freedoms’ to a significant degree because of actions of Americans in history. Americans are usually the first to offer aid in disasters and their magnitude of giving usually far surpasses that of all other givers. But of late and by that I mean the last 10 – 15 years and esp. with Bush as president, I see a possibly truly great force for positive turning to the opposite and it concerns and frightens me immensely…I apologise that I don’t suffer fools lightly and some of the things I read from you went a long way to making think you are one.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Like I was saying earlier…Happyness and joy for some come from making a call on the worth of something based on the harm it does to those that don’t know any better and partake without knowing the consequences…but for something as dangerous as KK’s…if they were a medication, they wouldn’t pass approval in this country…

8 07 2010
SD

Genuine Article since someone up there mentioned Poe’s Law it might do well to remember the law of exclamation “The more exclamation points used in an email (or other posting), the more likely it is a complete lie. This is also true for excessive capital letters.”

Of course Godwin’s Law has to kick in now. Like maybe “SS hearts KK”.

Personally I would like a Downfall youtube video of Hitler deprived of his beloved KKs.

8 07 2010
James Hunter

Or Cornel Klink with Hogan seeking the missing KK’s and Schultz Knowing Nuf ink.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

SD I know where you are coming from and I hear you. But I have included all the links to the information I have obtained, it is all there. KNOWING the sceptics would NEED to know.

8 07 2010
SD

Notwithstanding that I doubt if KK would kill anyone.

Time to move on I think and keep things in perspective. Lack of food kills more people than good or bad food. So let Brimstone and whosoever so chooses of his/her free will have their KK and eat it too.

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Not my point, I have been arxsed to f-off as a biggot, my country has been compared to ‘merica – unfavourably, and our freedoms have been compared to those of the other country. Filter? Try Room 641a bichez…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia
8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia
9 07 2010
Brimstone

Australian Internet Filter
that is all

9 07 2010
SD

Genuine Article some irony in the fact that you so extensively use wikipedia and wordpress – both have American origins.

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

SD I know and the irony is not lost on me. But as time goes on I see those ‘freedoms’ and ‘innovations’ being turned to be used against us and to exploit us more and more by those that don’t care about anything (people, ecology, animals) but the expansion of their war chests and power bases…

8 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Lack of food is going to kill those anyway but what about those that have access to food and medicine and therapy and they die because there is a conspiracy in place that is creating these outcomes by design? What about those that have a CHOICE but the information and options they are ‘offered’ are so sinister they kill them in the short term?

8 07 2010
Pandabater

HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER
There, that put an end to this.

8 07 2010
SD

LOL (genuine)

8 07 2010
Pandabater

You can stop arguing about doughnuts, Stephen Colbert just showed a hamburger which had toasted cheese sandwiches instead of a bun.

8 07 2010
Shirley M

KFC recently released a burger in the states that substituted deep fried chicken fillets for bread. So it went chicken, bacon, cheese, chicken, lettuce, mayonnaise and chicken.

8 07 2010
Pandabater

Buy 10 & get a free defribulator.

8 07 2010
James Hunter

ShirlyM,
They could be handy, Security guards could lay a trail of them round shopping precints so the invading bogans would devour them and then die.
That is then a ture Win Win
win we get rid of the chicken burger thingys
win we get rid of the excess bogans.
See ? There is method in the madness of the lord.

8 07 2010
Shirley M

You’re weird JH, but I guess you already knew that.

Thankfully, the coronary chicken stack is not to be introduced to australian KFC outlets.

8 07 2010
James Hunter

ShirlyM,
Thank you, so many people are not sure if im weird and I must admit to worrying about them

8 07 2010
Shirley M

I find it hard to believe that anyone would doubt your weirdness. I know you’ll take that as a compliment.

9 07 2010
Girl of Madness

Ultimate bogue delight, coming soon to a store near you….

http://perezhilton.com/2010-07-08-this-is-not-a-joke-76#respond

Sandwich in a can! I died a little today :(

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

mmmm…freeedom…

9 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

nomnomnom…

10 07 2010
FIGJAM

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155202

Some of these topics (namely ACA & TT, Underbelly, Road Rage) have indeed warranted bogan denigration. But the sheer level of nauseating and unmerited pomposity here has left you all just as repulsive and pathetic as the bogans you so fear and despise.

Lap it up, elitist swine. The cloud of “smug” on this forum is simply overwhelming. I must flee before the smell of my own farts renders me narcotised.

10 07 2010
Shirley M

FIGJAM is calling ‘smug’ on our asses! Delicious irony.

10 07 2010
FIGJAM

Oh I can be smug, of that I have no problem admitting. But the smug cloud on this forum is simply superlative. It IS the perfect storm of smug. Way to sidestep, though ;)

10 07 2010
Shirley M

I can be more direct, if you like.

If you think that mocking people who are willing to line up for THREE HOURS to get ONE FREE F*CKING donut is smug and elitist, then you probably lined up for three hours to get a free donut.

10 07 2010
FIGJAM

Wow, uppity much? I wonder if you can point to anything in what I’ve said previously as relating to…..donuts. I’ll save you the time. You can’t. My original post was included in three different threads on this site, so copious amounts of fail for you ;)

I wonder how much longer you can continue to dodge the truth. Seeing as you enjoy a good dose of “irony”, maybe I should break it down a little for you. By spending so much time on here reveling in your false sense of superiority, you’re just as repulsive as the bogans you so despise. Obnoxious? Check. Self-absorbed and disgustingly arrogant? Check. Prone to sweeping acts of generalisation? Double check. Sounds like you’re nothing more than a wealthy bogan.

There’s your irony. The only difference is that most bogans will readily admit that they’re bogans. You, on ther other hand, are delusional enough to think that the sheer amount of obsessive simplifications made here fall short of seeming smug and elite.

Truth hurts, no matter what your social standing ;)

As for standing in line for a donut, I guess it depends on the flavour :D

10 07 2010
Shirley M

I guess the fact that you commented on a post that deals with Krispy Kreme donuts lead me to believe you were talking about donuts. Forgive me for my presumptuousness.

PS. I’m neither wealthy or a bogan. Nor am I smug or elite. Most people consider me to be arrogant, and I tend to agree.

10 07 2010
James Hunter

FJ
Whoa, learn to walk the walk or are you too busy talking the talk ?

11 07 2010
FIGJAM

James, do you make a career out of crawling up the rear ends of female posters on here? I noticed you did something similar on another forum.

Given how dismal your attempts at banter are, it’s no wonder you prefer the path of the tag nut instead ;)

10 07 2010
James Hunter

Shirly M,
Loverly shot a realy strong back hand ! 9,8,7,8,9

10 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

It is the same elitist swine that have posted the ACA/TT, Underbelly and Road Rage topics and comments numb nuts. I would rather die an elitist swine than live even a hour as a bogan, crogan, wogan, bogue-asian, muslogan or brogan.

10 07 2010
FIGJAM

“It is the same elitist swine that have posted the ACA/TT, Underbelly and Road Rage topics and comments numb nuts”

Hurrrrr, really? And here I was thinking that it was a completely different group of people using exactly the same names to post comments! *facepalm*

Just because your head is so clearly inserted up your posterior doesn’t mean I’m not going to agree with you on various topics of bogan-bashing. So you can include a lack of basic comprehension skills to go with your contemptible elitism.

And this:

“I would rather die an elitist swine than live even a hour as a bogan, crogan, wogan, bogue-asian, muslogan or brogan”

So there’s no middle ground? You’re either a bogan or an elitist prick? With us or against us? I seem to remember a calamity of an American President who dealt in absolutes too….

By the way, it’s “an hour”, not “a hour”. Get the grammar right if you’re going to revel in being an elitist.

11 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

You are agreeing with elitists but denigrating them for being so? Maybe stop breaking those little blue pills in half and see what happens when you take them whole for a few days…

“…So there’s no middle ground? You’re either a bogan or an elitist prick?” If you agree with any material in this blog, you are either a bogan or an elitist prick like the rest of us, but live in a denial so complete, it blinds you from your own hypocrisy.

If not posting typos is a prerequisite to revelling in being an elitist, clearly, I am not a revelling elitist. It is the ‘elitism’ of the poster’s here that gave you the material you read to agree with in the first place asshat.

11 07 2010
FIGJAM

LOL This is just too easy. I never knew I was toying with an ego this fragile. Trolling has never been this fun. :D

“You are agreeing with elitists but denigrating them for being so?”

Wow, your grasp of basic comprehension is even worse than I first thought. Let’s see if we can make it even easier for you to understand ;) FIGJAM search google with “A Current Affair + Bogan”. FIGJAM find this site. FIGJAM like. FIGJAM search other topics on site FIGJAM likes too. FIGJAM finds blogs that make good fun of brain-dead show, Underbelly. FIGJAM likes even more. FIGJAM sees posts of people who like TBL a lot. FIGJAM can see they full of sh*t. This make FIGJAM sad :( TBL posters think they superior to all who not think like them. FIGJAM laugh at their hypocrisy. FIGJAM then find little man named GenuineArticle. FIGJAM happy again. Now FIGJAM can come on TBL forum and laugh at things his new friend says.

See, by your “logic”, the fact that Adolf Hitler and I both share a fondness for Alsatians must mean that I have to agree with the rest of his views! So that’s what those blue pills do….shut down your frontal lobe and give you a simplified, black & white view of the world! Well, keep chuggin’ ‘em down, cause without them you probably wouldn’t be anywhere near as entertaining ;)

Ripping into the likes of ACA/TT, Underbelly, and Homophobia were most certainly called for. But anytime you see a forum thriving on sweeping generalisations and a superiority complex, you know you’re smack bang in the middle of a perfect smug storm. There comes a point when a line is crossed between the most hallowed and revered practice of denigrating institutions and negative thought patterns, and just plain pretentiousness at elevating your own self-image at the expense of those less fortunate than you. And let’s face it – the fact that you enjoy a position of superior wealth and (supposedly) a more progressive outlook on life is due mainly to circumstance.

“If not posting typos is a prerequisite to revelling in being an elitist, clearly, I am not a revelling elitist”

No, you’re a “revelling elitist” because you clearly said as much in your previous post: “I would rather die an elitist swine…”
Your words, not mine.

“It is the ‘elitism’ of the poster’s here that gave you the material you read to agree with in the first place asshat”

Disgust at the unscrupulous dealings of ACA/TT is hardly elitism. That’s just common sense. Delighting in a gratuitous sense of superiority most certainly qualifies as elitism. By the way, it’s “posters”, not “poster’s. Plural, not possessive. ;)

LOL And this – “asshat”? Seriously? :D You succumb to a blatantly ugly ad hominem and THAT’S the best you can do?

11 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Or did you happen across this blog whilst searching for ‘Tribal Tatoos’?

11 07 2010
FIGJAM

If you’re going to try and pass yourself off as being superior to those who sport tattoos, at least make sure you get the spelling right ;)
We’ll mark that attempt at an insult down as “FAIL”, shall we?

11 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

*spitatyourfeet* bogan scum.

11 07 2010
FIGJAM

LOL You insinuate spitting at my feet and I’m the “bogan scum”? :D The irony is strong in this one.

13 07 2010
PD

hahahahaha

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Fig-J. Choose your own adventure.
Either…
Response A.
Meh…whatever (dismissive, minimising bs response/puerile, multi part, tautological threat that fuels the didactic compromise as we lose cabin pressure).
OR
Response B.
Wow, anyone with such a tight grip on the need to correct grammar and spelling and grades a snappy comeback a fail for a missing a letter must be A – a surgeon in a specialty requiring at least 10 years of study/practice to qualify, B – English post doctoral fellow shooting for tenureship or C – abuses co-workers from a position of middle management and in total denial as to their lack of power and control (choose one). Let me guess…your nut sack had feeling once but has been numb of late?

Response C.
Yes…self-satisfied that you did appreciate that… As for the rest…just bored really. Fragile? Meh…maybe…when the Largactil’s all snorted, the last of the ‘good scotch’ is a watery mess in the bottom of the glass and all that’s left is ‘Hallelujah’, but Beck’s version…maybe then. Or maybe I just wanted to pop the hood and get a look…Not much outlet for this kind of ass hattery in my day-to-day (my preferred ad hominem of the week). At least you reacted and gave me something half intelligent to smirk at. Thought you might like the pill gaff…But seriously, I still can’t get past an inherent hypocrisy in denigrating what occurs here. Just sayin. Do appreciate the dead-eyes wit, scything logic and iron-clad, ‘take no prisoners’ approach to grammar…me, I can’t be arsed for some knuckle dragging blog. Just smug and satisfied I may get a laugh or two, provoke some dumbkaant, y’know…Anonymous musings are so meaningless. Look at me…I’m so clevah…I can attack people with Google and Wikipedia and not get bashed. I don’t give a rip what people think of me in meat space, think I give a darn about some bs moniker? With 6 mouse clicks I can anonymise myself and come back in 45 seconds with a different ip address and moniker or 5…and maybe I do, (anyone can) maybe I am the one posting for 5 or 10 different nut sacks here…maybe I’M LOLFiona, or James Hunter or Brimstone…or all three…posting retarded drivel to myself while the Thorazine gets metabolised…all meaningless bs. Interested in how you get to “…FIGJAM then find little man…” and :…the fact that you enjoy a position of superior wealth and (supposedly) a more progressive outlook on life is due mainly to circumstance.” though.

12 07 2010
1/4 cast Bogue

If Chrisco put KKs in their hampers they’d be onto bogan gold.

13 07 2010
PD

You Sir, are a genius.

15 07 2010
Death Squad

Why not wash down your KK Barf Burger with a piping hot cup of ‘Gloria F**king Jeans’. Boags love that stuff.

12 07 2010
Brimstone

Genuine Article of Westurbia, i have benefited from Australia’s mental health system. while it isn’t perfect, it has provided me with free/cheap therepy and meds

I respectfully suggest you follow my lead and avail yourself of it’s services

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

Already there buddy – see my last post…

12 07 2010
TheGenuineArticle of Westurbia

And FYI, my partner is a therapist, so I’m tight.

13 07 2010
Brimstone

alright, that’s good. no disrespect intended, BTW….

1 11 2010
vivisection

Farewell Krispy Kreme, Fat Farkers everywhere will mourn your passing, Say Hi to Ed Hardy for us!

http://www.theage.com.au/business/dough-krispy-kreme-going-bust-20101101-1798u.html

1 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

It’s probably all those donuts I never ate that did it.

1 11 2010
Tone

How are we going to spot the bogans at Adelaide Airport now?

1 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Lets go with fat, tracksuit wearing f*cktards. Alternatively trying to spot the non bogan is much more challenging.

1 11 2010
Tone

Oh krap.

1 11 2010
vivisection

If i ever have a bogue-child son,I’ll call him Krisp’hee Eddd XXkreeem, in honour of our two fallen bogan flagships which went under this year.

1 11 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

And change your surname to Poudurhhfinnghurr.

1 11 2010
Tone

Or, for a femmebogue child, Zh’mbhaah.

1 11 2010
vivisection

You guys are good at this. We really need to get the Boguettes Bumpa Bookk of Babhee Nehyms written soon.

18 07 2011
kp

Where’s the criticism of Donut King? uhh… Hell-ooooo??? Or do you like lard fried Donut King?! EEEEEWWWWWW!

4 09 2011
magicmunt

I can report that Krispy Kreme when out of business at the Broadmeadows’ Shopping Centre. They were krushed by the might of Wendy’s.

13 08 2012
franz chong

One Thing I have seen out of Sydney Airport flying home to Adelaide are people buying boxes of Krispy Kreme Donuts to take home over time and it’s mostly those who fly Virgin who do this weird habit.Over at Qantas they don’t do that They either get a proper feed at Dinner,lunch or Breakfast or if on an out of meal time flights It’s a muffin,cake and apple with drink run which is better.

13 08 2012
James Hunter

American Cultural Imperialism. Nasty

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