#128 – Scapegoats

16 04 2010

The bogan doesn’t care if people it doesn’t know die, unless they speak English and die in maxtreme quantities. Or if they don’t, and die in quantities so maxtreme as to depopulate a region of the planet. The time it will care most, though, is when deaths happen ‘close to home’, which is why the bushfires in Victoria last year and the insulation fires of 2010 have led to the bogan being deeply concerned for its own safety. And, oh, yeah, other people’s too.

In the trashmedia Kraken’s frantic flailing for megajustice, someone to blame is found ASAP. Customarily, it’s someone who has been blamed before. Politicians are popular, immigrants are ascendant, and, of course, ‘society’ is never far from the limelight. Thankfully, the bogan is capable of holding others to higher standards than it expects from itself.

Peter Garrett is a case in point. In his past incarnation as the frontman of Midnight Oil, Garrett was the happy recipient of a free pass from most bogans. Even though his politically-charged lyrics may have borne a distinct whiff of Political Correctness Gone Mad, Garrett had to wait until they voted him in before he was derided for it. And even though many bogans vociferously deny the existence of something so patently ridiculous as the “environment”, Garrett was criticised as a sell-out and a hypocrite for making the leap from activist to pragmatist.

But it wasn’t until some point in early 2010, when Garrett inadvertently signed on as Minister Directly Responsible for Workplace Deaths, that he really copped it from the bogan. Despite the fact that insulation was installed in the homes of bogans who capitalised on the offer of cheap insulation, without actually checking to see if the installer knew a pink batt from a pink bit, every death was Garrett’s fault. The bogan’s opinion about this was informed, then reinforced, by daily updates from Tracy Grimshaw, who, without so much as batting her reptilian eyelids, followed up with a story about dodgy tradies.

More recently, Christine Nixon, former Victoria Police Commissioner, has experienced the bogan’s righteous punishment. After realising that The Butterfly Effect was a pretty sick band AND an Ashton Kutcher movie, it looked it up. As it turns out, when Christine Nixon sunk her choppers into her chicken parmigiana at the pub last February, the displacement of parma air triggered a roaring gale 60km northwest of the pub, which fanned the flames to the extent that it eliminated septuagenarian former bogan news source Brian Naylor. The bogan knew that she must pay, and pay so much more than the $18 for the parma. The bogan wants her, as a murderer of hundreds, to never receive payment for anything ever again. It is likely to prevail.


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900 responses

16 04 2010
Will S

These things are moving from humorous to frightening :O

16 04 2010
Tubesteak

This truly has to be the worst aspect of bogan culture.

It subverts and perverts the running of the country.

Democracy truly is the worst form of government.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The only thing worse than democracy is everything else.

16 04 2010
BG

never a truer word spoken

17 04 2010
Edward

Yes, spoken by Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in fact.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

i don’t mind a benevolent dictator myself.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. A role I’m both happy and qualified to fill.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
A roll you would fullfill to perfection .
Pluss you would be able to glass cunts whenever they deserved it and :
Have installed as part of our official lexicon words such as:
Dago
Bogtrotters(Irish)
Sassenachs(English)
Croweaters(South Australians)
Jerry(Germans)
Huns(Germans)
Froggies(French)
Eyties(Italians)
Polaks(Polish)
Canaks(Canadians)
Mexicans (Victorians)
Ivans (Russians)
Yanks( Americans)
Banana Republics (Any Failed State)
Bogans( A social subset of Aussies)

Oh and the one I was ticked off for yesterday………

Septics( Americans) Particularly applied to Americans who tell us We have no sense of humour(sic) and are a social backwater ect….

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I could have all manner of miscreants brought to me and thrown roughly to the floor – after hearing pleas from both sides, I could issue my verdict by giving a royal wave of my hand (freedom), or a jabbing motion (glassing)

16 04 2010
Sten

I put my hand up to be chief executioner.

Yes, I am aware I’m contradicting myself in saying this. No, I don’t care.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Let me see your glassing arm first…

16 04 2010
Simon

I believe I may hold suitable qualifications. However I suspect there will be enough work for both of us Sten with Fi in charge.

16 04 2010
loftie

Simon would surely be the suitable Sergeant-at-Arms for TBL…

His glassing skills have not gone un-noticed around here…

Though – it has made this chainmaille guard I wear around my head and neck all the more worthwhile…

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’d have to rename the position “Glasser-at-Arms” though.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Looks good I think. How about you Sten.

16 04 2010
Benjamin

Shouldn’t that be “Glasser at C#nts”?

16 04 2010
Sten

Suits me… and the title Glasser-at-Arms works for me too. Perhaps we could commandeer the SAS and rename them Queen’s Own Glassing Yeomanry…

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Mwah, perfect.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

also:
cracker
and
skippy

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

etcetera

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
Ecteraectera , may not be politically correct?

Also bont forget we have to be out front with the 243 and its 6X scope and a loader and a spoter to ensure that none get away.

16 04 2010
Sten

The question is, though, Fi, what style of rule would yours be? I would picture you as something like either Elizabeth I, or possibly a female version of Peisistratus (in keeping with your background in Classics).

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Hatshepsut, of course.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’d combine the loftiness of dear Liz I (to use the modern vernacular) with the fearlessness of Boedecia. And to assuage Shirley, a smidge of Queen Hatshepshut. I’d use that latter portion to ensure a few people around here kept their mouth set shut.

16 04 2010
Will S

Plus the fake beard would look great on you!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. At least I’d be in a position to ensure no merkins were involved.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Midnight Oil always sucked, Peter Garrett was always a douche, and Christine Nixon is/was/will always be a Victorian Copper. And Toorak is bogan central. Nuke….from orbit……..only way to be sure.

16 04 2010
Gregbie

Nixon was a NSW copper who moved south if I am not mistaken.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. So, of his 4 points, he got… none right.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

who are you?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Fiona. I live in Toorak.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

“Who are you?”

“LOL. Fiona. I live in Toorak.”

Fiona is a actually a man masquerading as an upper class twit in a semi-professional role as an internet comments troll. (Do a quick google search.)

The hilarious (or ridiculous) part of it is how long he has perpetuated this act and how he must be laughing his arse off at the peanuts that flirt with him.

I could go on but some of us here have to pay your public service wages.

FOF!

16 04 2010
BG

I can only assume that in your vast experience and reading on the subject of trolls, you will have encountered the acronym DNFTT

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

It’s not me feeding him BG. It’s the half a dozen fawning sycophants on this site that do.

Fiona must be the fattest bastard going round by the amount of feedback he generates.

FOF!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I am positively engorged on yours Muz.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Laugh it up dickhead.

I notice whenever I post up that you’re a man you don’t care to refute it.

Bit worried about being outed are we?

FOF!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Once again, the ONLY person who directly calls me out is… you. And what’s to deny? I’m female, my name is Fiona and I live in Toorak. Now run along and go and play in the Balkans.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Balwyn

Aww don’t tell her to fuck off, she’s entertaining.

A troll… possibly. But highly amusing nonetheless!

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

seriously why do you care?

16 04 2010
Thomas of Sydney

No, he got the first two bits correct. To be considered a “singer” you actually have to hit a note, consequently Midnight Oil sucks. Oh, and Garrett is a twat.

16 04 2010
brad

universally known as Miss Piggy amongst the rank and file.

16 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

All part of the “it’s someone else’s fault” mentality. Nothing’s ever their fault, so ergo, anything that goes wrong must result in the inhillation of whomever they view as the offending party.

I don’t think I have ever seen anyone more hamstrung and gagged by the political party process than poor old Peter Garrett during the Insulation debarcle.

If looks could kill, there wouldn’t have been much left of the opposition.

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Personally I blame the greatest bogan whisperer of them all John Howard, throw another asylum seeker on the fire so to speak.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

And his party is still confusing the bogan by alluding to it that the “boat people” will be the reason our population is estimated to reach 35 million in 15 years. Wow, by then we might have the same population as New York state.

16 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

hahaha.. I really shouldn’t post after midnight, and after several glasses of fine Kiwi Sauvy hehehehee..

That should have said “annihilation” :p

16 04 2010
Ironhalo

Yes, but the problem with Nixon was that she was being paid to be the ‘head of emergency services in Victoria’. She had inferiors who were pulling a 20 hour day while she was stuffing her face with a (bogan-esque) ‘countery’ at a local establishment.

As a Naval Officer, I can tell you right now, that NO commanding officer of any ship in this God’s Navy would EVER say while people were dying ‘hey guys you seem to have a handle on this, I’m just going to retire to my state room for a few hours. My mobile will be on, so give me a yell if anything other then complete devastation happens.’

I’m not one for witch hunts, but in this case, it would appear warranted. Promote her deputy to the chief role (he seems to have earned it by her own account) and let her corpulent form contemplate unemployment over a plate-encompassing parma.

16 04 2010
Laura

Carn now, Ironhalo! She’s not a small girl; the woman had to take dinner at some stage. The only beef I have with it is the chicken. The whole world needs to go veggo.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Hitler was a vegetarian. Thankyou and goodnight.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

He was also a megalomaniac.

16 04 2010
Mezz

And liked a bit of the scat too..

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

no sh*t?

16 04 2010
Sten

Crikey… Godwin’s already.

Still, crusading veggos do irk me. You’ll pry my steak from my cold, dead hands.

16 04 2010
Simon

Cows taste good.

16 04 2010
Mick

Especially the dead ones.

16 04 2010
vivisection

why wait?

16 04 2010
Mick

Of course. How silly of me. Bogans want everything NOW.

16 04 2010
Benjamin

They don’t need to be dead, or cooked.

“Better than that bring me a live Cow! I’ll carve off what I want, and ride the rest home!” — Denis Leary

16 04 2010
Antosha

Not eating meat is a decision.
Eating meat is an instinct.

(another one from) Denis Leary.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

We’re omnivores. Our teeth are obvious proof. I’m sure there are better ways to do it than how we consume meat currently though. The industry’s not necessarily working for anyone but the supermarkets right now.

16 04 2010
Sten

So do pigs, chickens, turkeys, ostriches, kangaroos… I could go on all day, but I rest my case. Meat rules.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

If God/Allah/Buddha/insert-deity-here hadn’t intended us to eat animals, he/she shouldn’t have made them so damned delicious.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

and he shouldn’t have made them out of meat.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Mmmm….meat.

Meat is murder. Lip-smackingly tasty murder.

16 04 2010
Nelson Esq

Does that make a chicken parma ‘murder most fowl’?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

aren’t the dutch cloning meat in tanks now?

mmm
tank meat.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Spot on,
any one believes we are vegaterians can explain why we do not have teeth like a rabbit?

16 04 2010
Sten

And if nature didn’t intend it, we wouldn’t have opposable thumbs and canine teeth.

16 04 2010
Antosha

And eyes set in the front of our skulls for depth of vision (like all hunting species), rather than on the sides for periphery (like prey species).

16 04 2010
brad

Sorry wrong on that one Antosha, our eyes are very similar too some species of tree dwelling primates and are frontal with good depth of vision as its the optimum design for climbing and jumping from one point too another(eg from tree too tree,branch too branch).We also have depth combined with coluor too enable us too distingish between ripe and not ripe fruit/veg and mature and young leaves,sapplings,ect.sorry too bring this up,but i used too(in my ignorance) use this same line too belittle vegies/vegans until i ran into one who had a degree in biology.Just trying too save you from an embarrasing situation!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. A higher degree in Biology or a mere undergrad?

16 04 2010
Gorey

Nor atrophied appendices and the inability to properly digest fibre

16 04 2010
brad

A higher degree like you Fiona, she even had it hung up on her bedroom wall,as im sure you have your Classics scroll on yours!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Very well, I accept her comments on the matter.

21 04 2010
Love and sparkles

Small point. Buddha didn’t make the animals. He simply pointed out that we’d all be a lot happier if we knocked off the killing. For more about the nature of Buddha, use Google.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
Anyone who cares to study animal (of whichs list we belong) nutrition will discover that we cannot synthasise most amino acids and that the only way to obtain all the esential ones is by consuming ANIMAL PROTIEN .
Study the pasty faces of any vegie muncher. Unhealty mob , never take over the world.

16 04 2010
Sten

James, mate, I’m not disagreeing with you here. As my Austrian namesake mentioned a pew posts prior to mine, a certain other Austrian, who happened to be a veggo, tried to take over the world, and it didn’t work.

I’m just saying, here we are, at the top of the food chain – why not revel in our supremacy?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Sten,
Absolutely,
It is what has made us what we are.

16 04 2010
Sten

The question is, what animal will be on my plate tonight?

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I will be having pizza in front of the Footy with a bottle of Shiraz. And it will have meat, probably salami and prosciutto.

16 04 2010
vivisection

to quote the great Black Dynamite, “everybody wants steak on the plate, but nobody wants to see it killed”

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh definitely not! It’s oh so convenient when it’s faceless and nameless. I cried when I watched a pig being “humanely slaughtered” on a Jamie Oliver special. And yet still ate bacon for breakfast.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Our capability for disassociation is perhaps the root of all evil…

17 04 2010
brad

I know Deer shooters who will feed slinkys’s too their children-European thing.

18 04 2010
libertarianvegetarian

Actually Hitler wasn’t a vegetarian. Unless of course you consider liver dumplings vegetables.
Mind you, I have encountered quite a number of people who call themselves vegetarians yet eat fish and sometimes even chicken.
Which seems to prove that eating fish does not make you smarter.

18 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I have a friend who calls herself “vegaquarian”…

Also, a former colleague was once telling me that his wife is vegetarian but eats chicken and fish. And even pork the other day. I told him she just didn’t like red meat then.
Some fuckwits are such attention-seeking drama queens.

21 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I heard he liked scat!!!

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Maybe she’s an emotional eater?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Laura,
If we all went vego the greenhouse gasses would get worse.
we are not capable of digesting cellulose. go watch “Blazzing Saddles” for explanation !
Vegie animals do and turn it into protine that we need and canot synthasise from non animal protine

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Considering that this whole carnivorous thread started with someone stating that there was nothing worse than a preachy vego or something to that effect, don’t you think there has been enough of the opposite kind of propaganda now?

Eat whatever the f*ck you want, people. Just chew with your mouths closed.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And also, it’s called silverware for a reason folks – it should be made of silver, not plastic! Similarly, plates are made of china, not paper.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

LOL. What would you know of these things?

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I was invited to a BBQ in a lesser suburb once and that’s how we were expected to eat. :-(

Do you know what it said on the invitation?

“BYO snags and piss”.

Can you believe that?

17 04 2010
Tombarina

I’d like to say “nuh-uh”, but a little voice in the back of my head suggests such an invitation is possible. Vile, but possible.

We were once invited to a “Gormet BarbQ” (sic). The ‘gormet’ element consisted of Morroccan lamb & rosemary sausages rather than the bog-standard beef, pork or mystery bag, and the presence of a pear/goat’s cheese/rocket/walnut salad, which was delicious, but difficult to get onto the sourdough breadrolls.

Dickheads.

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Were you asked to suffer the indignity of paper plates and plastic cutlery like I was?

I didn’t even know what “snags” or “piss” were.

17 04 2010
Tombarina

Oh, no. Part of the gormet experience was the provision of decent flatware and cutlery. And salt & pepper in little silver dishes.

sooooo posh.

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I haven’t even told you the worst part. The “BBQ” was a piece of black metal sitting atop a fire and supported on each end by a pile of bricks. :-(

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the only way to BBQ, fiona

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I dare say the bricks weren’t even mortared, just stacked!

21 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

And you complain about me when you whine about the wrong sausage being served……moron.It is bad manners to bite the hand that feeds you.Shame arsenic was’nt served.

21 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It may well have been. Perhaps the bogan perpetrator of this culinary nightmare thought it was some sort of fancy new spice?

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I can believe it, after receiving an invitation to a party in high school that said “BYOB” – when I asked I was informed the B was for bong! WTF?

I cannot believe you actually went though.

18 04 2010
Tombarina

AKT, that’s beyond bizarre!

Also, bongs are usually such social, shareable items. Unlike snags.

18 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Yes, you’d think they’d have allowed me to just use theirs? haha
I think they just wanted to be really obvious.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT
No wonder I had such a deprived time at High school
I always thought it ment Bring Your Own Bird.
lol didnt like to bring mine and have it sharews round..??

17 04 2010
Laura

Yer yer, I get it all the time. :P

BUT….I defy all of you hipster omnivores to watch this doco IN FULL before mocking the veggo. After watching it in full, then come back and see if you can even joke about animals being tasty. Complete absence of compassion would be utterly bogue after all…

It’s called Earthlings, is dispassionately narrated by Joaquin Phoenix, and is a sober insight into the truth behind the unthinkable plights of millions and millions of animals suffering and dying on factory farms, labs et al, every second of the day around the globe. You’ll find no propaganda here; only truth.

Here’s the link:

http://video.google.com.au/videoplay?docid=6361872964130308142#

I honestly do think that regarding animals as anything less than our equals is bogan in the extreme.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

tell it to the lions sweetheart.

regarding animals as our equals?

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’m sorry Laura,, but it’s called the “cycle of life” and if you don’t understand it then I won’t explain it.
I would not normally care but when you put sh*t up like that to make everyone feel guilty for eating meat it really makes my blood curdle.
Normally I would just ignore it, but you make it hard to do so.

17 04 2010
Laura

N0te: busted 0 key, n0t typing in b0gue f0r the hell 0f it.

Edna, I didn’t p0st that link t0 “make every0ne feel guilty f0r eating meat”. After viewing the d0cumentary, they’d 0nly feel guilty if their c0nscience dictates they sh0uld, which, in my experience, it usually d0es, but mayhap that is with darn g00d reas0n.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

and animals are tasty.
we are evolutionarily programmed to find them tasty.
seriously, wasn’t all this in the meat and livestock ad?
it’s a signifigant part of the reason we are sapiens and not merely erectus.
I appreciate the concerns behind the vegan/vego motivation, but they are yet to put up a convincing alternative.
clearing to grow soy is one of the biggest threats to he amazon.
anthropomorphising critters is even more trite than the juvenile gibberish I usually sprout in here.
even more than defending pole dancing as exercise.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I am going to put this up as my other comment is in moderation.
Laura, I lived that life for 13years, but I never put it in front of others.
What I disagree with the most is you telling people that if they eat meat they are a bogue. Not right.
Because I remember what it was like when people would tell me to eat meat. Not cool.

17 04 2010
Laura

0kay, my “0″ key is busted, s0 y0u’ll have t0 excuse the stand-in zer0 key “0′s”, hehe.

Anyways. N0, I didn’t mean t0 say that all meat eaters are b0gue. I merely said that I defy the carniv0ur0us hipsters here that were m0cking a cruelty-free diet/lifestyle t0 g0 watch Earthlings in full and then see if they can still crack j0kes ab0ut animals killed f0r meat. I meant that sh0uld they still be able t0 j0ke, all lighthearted-like, after sitting thr0ugh an unutterably tragic, h0rrific l00k int0 what REALLY happens t0 the animals that wind up 0n their plate…well THEN I w0uld c0nsider their being dev0id 0f empathy pretty b0ganic.

17 04 2010
Laura

Bah. Take a l00k int0 the effects 0f the meat industry 0n the planet and be scared.

Alternatives t0 animal-based pr0ducts? I eat N0 animal pr0ducts, n0 dairy, n0thing, and have m0re variety in my diet than y0u can p0ke a stick at. It’s a matter 0f caring en0ugh t0 l00k int0 it a little, that’s all.

And n0 0ne is anthr0m0rphising, m’dear. Since when is regarding fell0w sentient beings as just that anthr0m0rhising?

And…just incidentally, my 0 key is busted. N0t intenti0nally typing in b0gUe..

18 04 2010
libertarianvegetarian

Most soy is used for animal feed, not humans.
And you might want to rely on info other than that on an MLA ad.
Especially since basing your opinions on advertisments would be uber-bogan in the maxXxtreme…

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the irony was a little subtle you think?

17 04 2010
Laura

(nb, busted 0 key)

Yes, l0vey. We’s sentient beings, they’s sentient beings.

We have a capacity f0r immense, en0r0us suffering…..I daresay their capacity is even greater….especially when they’re in a damned cage their entire lifespan, as in the case 0f a battery hen, unable EVER t0 indulge even its m0st INHERENTLY NATURAL impulses like spread its wings 0nce in its life. Driven psyhc0tic with fear and tedium and n0t kn0wing when the hell will end. And that’s just 0ne example, taken fr0m a hein0us myriad.

17 04 2010
Laura

Chubby, I had n0 d0ubt in my mind pri0r t0 this telling stance 0f y0urs, 0n animal cruelty, that y0u were p0lar 0pp0site in essence t0 everything a b0gue is, but I g0tta say, this seeming apathy t0ward y0ur fell0w sentient beings makes me rethink.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’ll try to be succinct.
at the off, I’ll say I respect and support entirely your decision to go vegan. I perhaps even admire it. I do not, however, see it as a workable solution for all of humanity.
I have raised and killed my own meat in the past and understand first hand the economic difficulty of raising beef. I gave up, the return was not worth the input.
Bunnies chickens and pigs however… mmm.
I understand also that intensive farming is cruel if not barbaric, and I try to shop and invest ethically. there is a movement afoot to try and correct or ameliorate this, thanks no doubt to the good effort of folk like yourself and Joaquin.

my main points are these:
surely this is a trite response – but, I’ve never seen a pride of lions planning an ethical kill. The gazelle’s end strikes me as a particularly harsh one.
it also strikes me as counter evolutionary to remove meat from our diet. this is covered at length elsewhere. I understand the decision to go vegan is a serious one and requires close attention to one’s diet as it is not natural .
We’s sentient beings, they’s sentient beings.

We have a capacity f0r immense, en0r0us suffering…..I daresay their capacity is even greater….” …yet these beings aren’t sentient enough to consider their own cruelty to each other.
We as Naked apes
are however. ergo this very discussion. Given this sentience and empathy, I would rather dedicate my passion to relieving suffering and injustice meted out on my fellow humans before I start on the poor bunny wunnys.

either way I suspect we are both p*ssing in the wind vis a vis trying to shift each other’s point of view.

meanwhile I hear the japanese are harvesting protein from sewerage. we’re on the case.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

screwed up on the html tags again

*sigh*

17 04 2010
Laura

Hmm, 0kay these p0sts aren’t p0sting under the c0mments intended. That was in resp0nse t0 y0ur “animals are 0ur equals” quip.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Ok Laura,
I didn’t mean to swear so much but I was trying to make a point.

I blame the Cabernet personally.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Cool.
I misunderstood what you were trying to say with the link. I do think animal cruelty is terrible.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

and just by the way…
having lived with (very happy free range) chickens I can not conceive of “chicken tedium” most would lack the wit to know if their be-feathered arse was on fire. watch the way a rooster treats the lower members of it’s flock through your anthropomorphic glasses.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh yes, I never eat cage eggs anymore.
However, my decision to hope for a hen to have a happy life while she’s making us eggs is polar opposite to how I consider my chicken for eating – do we really want to kill happy chickies?

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I’m sorry Laura, but I would have to strongly disagree with you.
I was a vegetarian for 13years.
Mid last year I decided that I would start eating meat. Best decision I ever made.
In all honesty Laura, I don’t give a f*ck what you eat and I don’t give a f*ck what my neighbours eat either.
I actually don’t give a fuck what anyone eats beacause in all honesty Laura I don’t give a fuck what you or anyone else on this god forsaken planet eats.
Eat lettuce only, eat legumes, eat almonds, eats pidgeons eat bloody dormice because I don’t really give a fuck.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Just ignore the above response by me laura.
I may have had too much to drink. :D
Don’t drink and type people.
At that point I had misunderstood your intensions.
I agree with you on the animal cruelty part. I am not heartless.
Sorry about the outburst. It was late, I was cranky and there was cabernet.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

you can scare the living shit out of certain people by waving a pork chop or rasher of bacon in their general direction.

good times.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Yep fun aint it ?

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

well its preferred to electrocution. although burning flesh smells like pork.

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Why would I regard animals as my equal, when I don’t even rate people thusly?

18 04 2010
Tombarina

Laura, I respect your decision not to eat meat. But as a former primary producer, and with many years in the livestock sector, I can reliably advise you that (A) even the dimmest bogue is brighter than the smartest steer or sheep, and (B) PETA and its ilk would comprise some of the biggest oxygen thieves on the planet.

There are indeed some very cruel people, but your average primary producer isn’t among them, if for no other reason than it’s economic suicide.

A delicious and expensive piece of Australian beef is both delicious, and expensive, because of the quality of the production system from whence it came.

The steer it came from was born in a paddock, toddled around with other calves and grew out until it was ready to be weaned. At this point, a lot of extra care and expense was incurred in the form of supplementary nutrition to ensure it stayed happy and healthy, and didn’t lose condition.

It then spent the next two or more years on good tucker in the paddock until it achieved slaughter weight, or around 18 months on grass before going into a feedlot to do the same, only on grain. Cows like grass. And grain. They’re happy Vegemites as long as they have one or t’other.

When the time came, our steer was carefully loaded onto a truck, taken to the abattoir, stunned, killed and processed. Nope, it ain’t pretty. But nor is is cruel or inhumane, and the proof’s in the meat. A stressed animal releases adrenalin which tightens muscles and hikes up its pH level, resulting in very dark, utterly unchewable, and nasty-tasting meat.

So our nice, juicy, tender bit of steak can ONLY be achieved through good genetics and animal husbandry, evenly-maintained nutrition since birth, freedom from illness and disease, and humane handling and processing.

Chicken and egg production is another matter – chookies are low cost-per-unit and high turnover, so there’s nowhere near the economic imperative to maintain very high standards. Hence, I choose to only purchase free-range chicken and eggs. Ditto pork – pigs are extremely bright and social, and many intensive production methods subvert this, as evidenced in the sub-standard product in comparison to free-range.

But for the most part, PETA, Joaquin and co can go and stick their emotive misinformation up their collective ar$e.

18 04 2010
Edna Focke-witte

Bravo Tombarina!!

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Onya.
Pale, soft, exudatibe ,pork is the piggy meat problem.
Although there are some genitic precursors the main problems are again stress immediate3ly trior to and at slaughter. So good producers do tend to take care.
Also as you say piggys are smart social critters and if you remove them from their prefered social group number then you get problems. Chickens have the same problem hence the term Pecking Order.
Pigs prefer around 10 to 12 in a group/ pen whatever. too few and one will tend to bully. too many and there is constant bickering as they attempt to establish a “boss hog”.

PETA and co are intellectually barrewn, socially corupt and morally bankrupt and like you say would do the world a favour if they disapearded up their own asses.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

here here. i can’t see anything like that happening in the Army either. and if it did happen, there’d be hell to pay. Something about Nixon just made me skeptical from day 1. not sure what it was, just a gut feeling.

16 04 2010
Dee

Thankfully, Royal Commissions are not decided on gut feelings.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. With dear old Knicker’s, there’d be a lot to feel. *shudder*

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Anything that make you shudder cant be all bad?

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

perhaps it was the name Nixon?

16 04 2010
Steve of Toorak

Whats a ‘Naval Officer’ doing awake at the time you are, posting online?
Picking your belly button at 12:53am does not make you a naval officer.
Even if it was true, you cannot compare the two. At all. Your lack of logic in the comparison probably is proof you are in the ADF. I take it back…

Anyway, she’s a public servant, she wont be sacked. Nothing to see here.

16 04 2010
Ironhalo

Luckily for me, 12+ years of waking up at weird hours to sit on a bridge in the middle of the night with a cup of coffee in hand, while I stare out into black oceans and red-lit radar screens every once in a while has rendered me a nocturnal beast of the highest degree…..I live off 5 hours sleep a night.

Much to my annoyance I might add!

16 04 2010
Bam

Never heard a cock called a “bridge” before.

16 04 2010
Ironhalo

Haha gay jokes and the Navy? Never heard that line of comedy before….

Although if you want the highest gays per capita, the RAAF beats us and the Army hands down.

16 04 2010
Bam

They beat you and the Army with your hands down? Wow. Kinky.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Surely “delegation is the key to command.”
it’s not like she was at the helm of a DDG with ordnance inbound.

surely in this day and age she was no more than a blackberry away from anything crucial. esp by that stage – baby jesus and all the angels couldn’t have stopped it.

16 04 2010
Alister

Fail. Nixon was not the head of emergency services. She was Commissioner of Police, with responsibility, certainly, but she wasn’t running the show.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Actually, yes she was. In an Integrated Emergency Services situation (as existed on the evening of “Black Saturday”), the ultimate authority is vested in the role of the Chief Commissioner of Victoria Police.

16 04 2010
Dee

She had given complete control to her 2IC. And what does her being fat have to do with it? Is that why everyone’s vilifying her – because she’s not a stunner?

Apparently you ARE one for witch-hunts…

16 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

I believe that this witch hunt is contributed to by the fact that she is a “large gal” – fat people are seen by bogans as lazy (mostly because all the fatties they know *are* total sloths)

So they see dear old Christine, and assume she is as lazy as they are, and ergo she wasn’t doing her job, instead she was scarfin down the chicken parma and laughin it up with her mates.

The whole Black Saturday was a tragic and total Stuff up – ultimately someone’s head will roll over how very very wrong all the services got it… it might as well be hers.

16 04 2010
Hill Dweller

Most bogans are fatties. Except the scanks.

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Following your line of thinking, the skanky fat bogans are “troggas”. Charming indeed.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

with backfat titties? tasty.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Surely Canadian style is tastier? Could try one of those brekkies that Mr Conroy is blocking.
Black fat titties??

16 04 2010
Tone

I’d argue that by shirking her responsibilities as the captain and going down the whole ‘she’ll be right … just give us a call on my mobile if there’s any dramas’ path, Christine Nixon is a bogan. This is what bogues do – the bare minimum.

Any commanding officer worth a pinch of shit would have stayed until the job was done. Even if staying on wasn’t going to make a difference to the outcome of the event, it would still make a difference to public opinion and the morale of the troops.

Poor little princess should’ve hardened up and had a sandwich in the trenches instead of galavanting around the countryside for a schnitty.

16 04 2010
vivisection

Fair point, but why should she be sacked from her existing position in Bushfire reconstruction? What she has done in the past isn’t relevant to what she has done in this role, which it seems nobody can find fault with. I’m pretty certain the same people carrying on about her having a meal break are the same that pester me if they cant get their morning tea break at exactly 11am on the dot. Perhaps she was a better worker for having had a break from the tension?

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II

Because Himmler would never have been appointed to organize the establishment of Israel.

16 04 2010
vivisection

The point is, sack her for what she is doing now, if we are going to sack her. Not for what she did previously.

16 04 2010
vivisection

And Himmler did a lot worse than meal break, lets not exaggerate her crimes against humanity in this instance.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

StenMkII,
He would have loved the job though.
Maybe we could bring him back to establish the new Palestine?

16 04 2010
Will S

Fact is, she’s only copping it because she’s a woman, and unattractive. If she were a man, or an attractive female, she’d be in the clear.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

zoo weekly would bail her out.

full cover christine nixon in a bikini,
tucking into a schnittie….

…all right.
hot

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Dear God.

And right on lunch time.

16 04 2010
Anonymous

Who ya gonna blame? SOMEBODY ELSE!!!

16 04 2010
Laura

TBL, you’re reading my mind lately. :) As soon as I heard the bogans were scapegoating Nixon, I said unto myself, “TBL! TBL!!!”

This is one of the most important articles to date. They are ALL about scapegoats indeed.

This article is perfect all throughout but it was “Tracey Grimshaw’s reptilian eyelids” that made me near-choke on my Ferrero Rocher! And this beauty did it again: “the displacement of parma air triggered a roaring gale 60km northwest of the pub..”

TBL, you are on fire lately, and pardon the pun!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Laura
Pun?
allusion more so

16 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I do feel like I’ve had a minor success recently; my flatmate was the ultimate bogan whilst watching ACA etc. (while I was laughing at their antics) until I repeatedly informed him of the alternate possibilities to their one-eyed ‘journalism’. Now he hates them with a passion. One small step…

16 04 2010
Laura

Sometimes it seems odd to me that so many bogues did dig The ‘Oil back then. I mean, come on…there’s no way in hell they were prepared to “give it back” to the Indigenous owners of the land, even with Garret declaring the “time had come” to do so. All those old school bogues that I was exposed to back in the ’80s (I was in primary school but it didn’t take much perspicacity to peg a bogue for what it was) that were Midnight Oil fans were pretty much the same as the nouveau bogue when it came to racism, so it makes me wonder if they even GOT what their idol Garret was even on about…

16 04 2010
Andrew

They never actually listened to the lyrics. Apart from anything else, the oil’s were able to write some very catchy tunes…

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I have an American friend who was quite irate in recounting to me this stupid song by this band that was about how the Native Americans “beds were burning” and how the song was imploring white America to return their land to them.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Americans are ignorant of anything not American ,(actually a lot of stuff that is american as well) thats why we call them septics.

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

I always thought it was from the wartime rhyming slang of “Septic Tanks” for “Yanks”.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Glass em all
You are absolutely correct.
I was just adding some additional reasons

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Ah, gotcha. The festering, pus-filled irritant that is too dangerous to lance…

16 04 2010
Andrew

Whilst I don’t want to stop this America bashing, has anyone here actually been to the states recently and met the people themselves?

Whilst I won’t deny that there are some ignorent ones there (just like in the rest of the world) I found a good percentage of Americans who had a better understanding of the rest of the world than we give them credit for.

Until recently their news organisations didn’t report on anything outside their borders. It didn’t mean that the average American didn’t care, and didn’t know there was a world outside of the states.

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Actually I worked with a lot of NBC crews during the Olympics (bogan term?) and they were a fantastic group of well-informed people. The only ones better were the Canadians, and the only creeps I met usually turned out to be locals.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of course. I maintain an apartment on the Upper East Side (of NY, for all of you who don’t know what that is) and the people I associate with there are quite worldly and knowledgeable on all manner of topics.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

the upper east side of New York would be the county of Clinton, Fiona. Must never forget to distinguish between state and city and (Manhattan)…

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

WTF PWNED!!!!!!!11111

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Obviously I was referring to Manhattan.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT,
Funny they call Manhattan Upper East Side, when is is as flat as Mineappolis or western Melbourne without the westgate bridge to add some height!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

there are plenty of intelligent open minded americans.
the problem is that they float near the top of a gene pool about three hundred million souls deep.
the bottom third of that pool is an inconceivable pit of ignorance and self interest, and unfortunately that comes in at (at least) 100 million drooling morons.
Our paltry 18 million morons pale by comparison.

16 04 2010
brad

50 years time The United States of Espainia

Foreign Correspondent, 23 March? TBL

16 04 2010
brad

yes-interesting story.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

as australians we should be learning singlish.

(spoken without irony and in the hope of a peaceful and “race” free future)

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh yes, I’ve been there. Lovely people in the service industry – all hoping for some $ to boost their $6/hour (“or whatever” – to quote their exports) income.
I was asked in the elevator of a Seattle hotel by the cleaners where my funny accent was from, their guess was Maine. But then, they were cleaners.

16 04 2010
Andrew

I’m also pretty sure that they thought the song “beds are burning” was in reference to some bloke who forgot to put out his ciggie before he fell asleep…

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Gold Andrew!!!

Passed out on Massive Woodies.

16 04 2010
Pete

Laura, you give the bogan too much credit. I draw your attention to http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/73-m-i-a-s-paper-planes/ I submit to you that the average bogan only know the most obvious chorus lyrics to Midnight Oils’ most TripleM-friendly hits. They like that it’s catchy, and that a lot of it sounds angry enough to make you want to glass some c*nt.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I believe TBL backed up your point mere days ago.

16 04 2010
Pete

I can’t see the forest for the trees. Thank you Fiona for flagging the other relevant link http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/123-indie-rock-choruses/

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m here to help. “An Anthropologist on Earth” aka “The View from Toorak”.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fiona,
TBL
may concider “A view From Toorak” as a topic? Most worthy I would say

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh JH, your adoration of Fiona must be waning for such a slicing comment. There was no evident glassing but I saw in between the chalked lines.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I was always under the impression they just liked his bald head and funny dancing.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

looooved the funny dancing.

even funnier (not) is watching some bogan try and emulate it.

in a cheap suit
in a sports bar

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I recall Steve Vizard reenacting Pete’s trademark dancing on Fast Forward. Oh the hilarity!

16 04 2010
Mezz

I remember that – I also remember a Garret rendition by Flako when he and the Sandman used to do an evening comedy show together. Was gold!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

omg flacko as garret.
I might have died if I’d seen it.

16 04 2010
Member for Higgins

What about when Costello decided to bust a Garrett in parliament?

16 04 2010
Nelson Esq

That’s right, he was introduced as the ‘new Prime Minister of Australia’. His defence policy was to put huge speakers all around the Australian coastline and play Kylie Minogue records. If only knew then, how half true that skit actually is…

16 04 2010
Antosha

… ‘and stuff the Greenhouse Effect.. I’m more concerned with the Icehouse Effect..’

That show was brilliant. Does anyone recall a skit with Ernie Dingo at a house auction – lowering the price by pretending he’s the neighbour!

16 04 2010
Nelson Esq

That one was hilarious! Though to laugh at that skit now would probably be bogan, thanks to the TBL post on Ernie.

I quite liked the skits where Ernie was Robert Gottleibsen, the finance journalist from the BRW
“Interest rates are seventeen pour-cen! That’s like this much!”
*stretches arms out wide*

19 04 2010
Antosha

‘And some bloke tried to float the dollar..’

‘… silly bugger..’

16 04 2010
Peter

You’re referring to The Australian Navy I presume, Ironhalo? If so it is also known as the most inefficient, ignorant and just plain dumb group of human beings ever assembled.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

but they have awesome mess halls. and phantom fuckers.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Sten Mk!! (any relation to “Austen”)
Think you would agree though that the Aussie Navy in common with the rest of our Military do a great job concidering thet the average Yobbo does not want to spend Money that is required and wont think it necessary untill the borders are breached and it is too late?

16 04 2010
Antosha

It’ll be even more impressive when our Air Warfare Destroyers are up and running :)

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II

i’m ex Army. i know i did a good job, and the rest of the guys did a great job.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

that is, in fact Nickelback.
the most inefficient, ignorant and just plain dumb group of human beings ever assembled

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Are Nickelback humans?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Partly. They are a chimeric blend of humans and paddle pop lions. Well, at least the singer is.

16 04 2010
Ironhalo

Comments from the Supercoach eh?

And tell me, Peter, what exactly have you done for this country out of selflessness other than denigrate people who serve to protect you? Some of the guys in the Navy might be a bit rough around the edges (and god have I run into a few that astound me with their embrace of ‘boganality’), but I have also served with sailors who had retired rich in their 30s and wanted ‘something else to do’, one guy had a degree in biomolecular chemistry, and another guy is now a federal MP….not to mention most of the officers on my last ship were studying Masters in their chosen fields.

I’d take 10 of them over 1000 bogans mate!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

bravo senior service.

16 04 2010
Antosha

Here here

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

hear hear* x

16 04 2010
R.Belka

Ah Finally! Although I would expect more references to other articles.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

may have missed a link on “megajustice”
but who’s robbing this train?
you or Mr Kelly?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

news ltd on trashmedia

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

so patently ridiculous as the “environment”
anti intellectualism.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“”

am i being annoying yet?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

missed a close i tag

on the subject of missing things,
could we perhaps agree to forgive each other obvious typo’s and save thread space? Instead of having to go back and post *misspelt
obvious malapropisms and bogan spelling excepted of course.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I blame A.D.D.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

No more than usual ;)

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
No
Try harder

16 04 2010
Bec

Like how gay marriage will be responsible for the breakdown of the bogan marriage, and how feminists are responsible for both oversexualising our girls and making them sexless hairylegged manhaters. You guys have no idea how hard it is choosing between the resulting Perspex platforms/crotchless undies and combat boots/Indigo Girls teeshirt combos I have going. Decisions!!!!!

16 04 2010
common man

LOL.if only your parents thought the same we woudnt have had to read that true?? just paying taxes doesnt make you a contributor to society/humanity

16 04 2010
Bec

And just throwing a string of loosely connected words together doesn’t mean you can speak English, you cousin-rooting mouthbreather.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh!
I laughed so hard I spilt my wine!
thank you.

16 04 2010
Bec

I hope you’re only drinking from a modest selection of breakfast wines?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Oh moscato of course!

and just a *spritz* of gin.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

hahahaha!

ahhhhh. Funny.

16 04 2010
Sten

Wow, Bec! That was… incendiary. Exemplary work, do please keep it up!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. And it’s the last we’ve heard of him too. Perhaps he’s at home crying into his mother’s apron?

16 04 2010
Sten

Fi, I’m taking bets on whether this mother of his is also his older sister. Care to place a wager?

I suspect, though, that this is not the last we have seen of him today. I hope he does come back, if only for Bec to roast him again.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. If history has taught us anything, it’s that he’ll be back about 3:30pm. Presumably a few minutes after his building site closes for the weekend.

16 04 2010
Sten

Earlier if it rains, I suppose.

16 04 2010
vivisection

maybe he is a primary school teacher? Scary

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Shouldn’t be hard to find which one. Go to the “MySchool” website and start at the bottom. Shouldn’t take long.

17 04 2010
common man

or you can follow me on twitter after checking@people123…

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

‘cousin-rooting mouth breather’

classic. mind if I nick that for future use?

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Randall?

16 04 2010
Mezz

Nice one Bec – Nice one indeed! I myself don’t bother wasting keystrokes for the cause of pointing out home truthes to such fools – But in saying that, I’m glad that folks like you are here and willing to put suchy folk in their place – Keep it up.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Superb riposte, Bec!

Maybe chuck in a “window-licker” and I think our work here is done.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Ooh Window-licker!
Great Aphex Twin song.

16 04 2010
vivisection

And film clip

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Totally Viv!

16 04 2010
Sten

Ugh, you brought up some very unpleasant memories of last Saturday, Tombarina.

I was on the train on my way into town, and of course the train was packed, it being school holidays/Easter Show time; There was a fat single-mum Bogan and her two horrible little boaglets, squealing, standing on the seats and staring at other passengers, dropping food debris all over the carriage floor, fighting with each other and, yes, even *licking the windows*.

Of course the sow was ignoring her piglets, instead happy to let them pester and disgust the other passengers… she was too busy reading her vampire novel.

What the fuck is wrong with people today? Would it be too much to hope that the nasty little boaglets hoovered up a mess of anthrax spores in the course of their revolting antics?

16 04 2010
common man

i love bringing out the bogan in YOU your welcome

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Gold, Bec.
However, that was the first time I understood what he was saying!

17 04 2010
common man

yes alyssa it was a economic statement,we all know familys spend more eg; house,s,child care,school fee,s,sports,toys,cars,computer,s im yet to find a industry that gay,s help support finically let alone humanity by depryfing more wonderfull children into this world,but with their morals that may be a good thing

17 04 2010
Bec

Mate, it really gets up my nose when people use a small African nation’s annual quota of punctuation to make an illogical and bigoted statement.

Your old man really should have settled for the blowjob.

17 04 2010
Will S

Don’tcha just hate it when a bunch of gay,s come up and start depryfing you? Cunts deserve a glassing, I say.

17 04 2010
common man

if you had your cup of tolerance today you would recognise the family figure contributes a lot more to society unlike the selfish people who believe they are different from the rest of us, who keep humanity from a dwindaling population under your theory(i hope fi has a next of kin)but again it was a economic statement not a personal attack or abombanation of the bible so keep being enarmoured all you like i thrive on knicker,s in a knot mmm fiesty LOL

17 04 2010
Bec

Darling, don’t overestimate your contribution to the planet. In net value, you are still an oxygen thief.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Bec,
A nett polluter?

17 04 2010
common man

condesending flattery will get you no were love you should met my better half lol!!!

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

It’s funny how many people don’t know about double e. I’ll met you later!

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

WTF! Those were real words, almost!

18 04 2010
common man

so i take that as a caution instead of 3 demerit points an a $400 fine then

18 04 2010
James Hunter

cm,
not if you think it is a good idea to bring extra babies into this world.
in this country for non boags perhaps, for Most of the underdeveloped world ..no babies.
that is why the catholic church is so evil, creating “devils sporn”

18 04 2010
common man

@jh below.. that sounds like a mild form of ethnic clensing?By your theory we will be out populated within ten years.All we can do is limit our intake an let them lay in the bed they made or send $$aid or we will lose our idendity just as holland an london has, Hence the motive behind the baby bonus,s was a good one just abused by the bogue was the bad point

18 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Gays support the Bedazzler industry for one CM.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Bec,
Just invite me round some time and Im sure to be able to help

16 04 2010
Simon

I have to admit a grudging admiration for CM. He gets completely pasted everytime he comments and yet he still comes back. The dude is hard to offend.

16 04 2010
Sten

Probably because his “command” of the English language preculdes him from understanding what is being said.

16 04 2010
Simon

Could be true.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Yes, it’d be a stretch to suggest any form of meaningful communication occurs between cm and well, pretty much anyone.

16 04 2010
Sten

Oh, I don’t know, Fi. The broadside Bec fired at him this morning was dripping with meaning, even if strictly in terms of sheer malice.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Can we get Bec to reason with Muz?

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I love your amended title, Simon! I’d fear it was an imposter if not being familiar with your cartooony (avatar).

P.s. I read this article in the morning, but before I was able to respond to any comments our company was shackled with a firewall to prevent us (predominantly me) from accessing anything remotely interesting. Probably the best step my company has made all month!

18 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thanks Alyssa,

I was proud to receive a title.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Could we perhaps get common man to be our “Council for the Defence” actually I think it is ” Counsel for the Defence “, whatever,
immagine any conventionally trained lawyer having a chance against him?
I mean lawyers like word games and any of them would spend ages and loads of adjournments trying to figure what he ment. I’m sure most would throw in the towel and conceed.
??

18 04 2010
Will S

Like using the Chewbacca defense, every time!

19 04 2010
sideshow

OH come on, Cm has been fishing ever since he got here, looking from the outside in he has done a fiona on all of you.
hahahahaa

16 04 2010
common man

someone had to be the scapegoat for the team today semt only fitting LOL

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I blame Satan!
epic win.

And thanks for sticking up for pete!

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Someone stuck up for Pete?
OMG, O M G !

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Reminds me of the uproar after the boxing day tsunami that there wasn’t a warning system in place. Then, but weeks ago, when a warning was generated, the bogans refused to give up their day at Bondi and just kept swimming.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

ha!
they wanted to take photos of it.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Worse, they actually went to Bondi to get a better look!
Also other places, friends at Hawks Nest say dozens went straight to the beach to watch. TRUE.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Yep, apparently many bogans took a front row seat on our Gold Coast beaches (up on the grass, of course, for the most part).
I slept happily in my bed on the 3rd floor. meh.

16 04 2010
Mick

Scapegoat? The bogans I work with say scrapegoat. I don’t try to correct them anymore.

It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing. Wastes my time and annoys the pig.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

No point arksing them to think anythink

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

i reserve the right to garrott anyone who uses anythink/everythink.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

“congrads” haha

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo
18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

/glass

18 04 2010
James Hunter

CVSMHOM, (phew)
Very suscint comment that !
CXouldnt have put it in fewer words myself !!!!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I think someone has already mentioned it but Tracey Grimshaw’s reptilian eyelids hits the mark on so many levels! Funny levels, true levels…

16 04 2010
James Hunter

and reptillian levels

16 04 2010
Will S

What’ve you got against reptiles?

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Exacerly

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

What about her more-than-liberal application of lip gloss? The stuff is not meant to take over your face!

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

bahahahahahahahaha!!!!

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

jealousy’s a curse…..

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Lame!

16 04 2010
Simon

I thinks whats funny about this is how celebrities etc can get away with murder, but if you’re a politician or a public servant and make a mistake you are f*cked for life. It’s like the bogan sub consciously expects better of them.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

The bogans tax dollars don’t pay the wages of the celebrity. Never mind that their incessant purchasing of magazines, CDs, DVDs etc puts dollars in their coffers – they don’t make this ‘abstract’ leap.

16 04 2010
Will S

“Forgiving politicians” doesn’t give a bogan anywhere near the nice warm feeling that Forgiving Celebrities does.

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

“without actually checking to see if the installer knew a pink batt from a pink bit” – *snort* Nearly swallowed my tongue laughing.

Bogans demand a sacrifice. Witness the rush to lop someone’s head off after the latest weekly F3 debacle.

16 04 2010
Benjamin

There is nothing like distraction – a fantastic tool in the politicians armoury.

As a guest lecturer I had once at Uni said (though I can’t remember the name – prominent media commentator at the time):

“Issues are tissues. The public grabs a hold of one, sneezes in it a few times, chucks it out and then grabs another from the box.”

Distract folks long enough, and nastier problems can rise and fall without gaining attention.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Anna Bligh’s sudden turnaround on daylight savings is a case in point.

16 04 2010
Simon

No, the cows won’t be able to make as much milk and the curtains will fade with the extra hour of sunlight.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. The whole concept of DST is far too difficult a concept for the average Queenslander to grasp.

16 04 2010
Simon

Careful, Alyssa will be on to you if you bash Queenslanders again. Although without daylight savings up there we can get an extra hour of work done and continue to stay 20 years ahead of them.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Uh, don’t you live in Far West Melbourne? If you’re 20 years ahead of QLD, Melbourne is 40 years and Toorak 60 years ahead!

Hmm, actually, that does sound about right.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

au contraire,
if I may?

the view from Toorak, as I understand it, would be more likened perhaps to basing one’s interpretation of the zeitgeist through the lens of “the classics”. Toorak being a “classic” suburb, to wit: one adopts the point of view of an archivist essentially. classics having become “memetic” they naturally permeate all, but one tends to evaluate everything relative to what has already been.
They never seem to have footpaths in these new suburbs.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’ve tied it all together quite well Chubby.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi
sounds right, we have said in summer, go Qld and set your watch back one hour and 20 years.

16 04 2010
Antosha

Alyssa won’t be the only angry Queenslander.

ALAS Fi !!! What did we nasty northerners do to you??

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Nothing really, you’re just, well, not quite Toorak material…

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Hahaha, Simon! Thanks for the thought.
I laughed, actually.
All of the original (meaning the last 30+ years, not indigenous, of course) mixed with the fresh Queenslanders who just got off the boganvehicle (with “On the Move” on their plates) all voted no. Despite an excellent trial run ten years earlier.
Fucking curtains.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Is Queenslander a derogatory nick name for Queenslander?

16 04 2010
Antosha

Et tu James ???!!!??!!

17 04 2010
James Hunter

New South Welshman born and bred though I did spend 22 years in Adelaide

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi
That take me to one of Yestredays comments,
Is Queenslander a derogatory term for a Queenslander?

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Only if assumptions are making an ass (sic)… you know the rest

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Not to mention that it will mean that the hottest part of the day will be from 12 – 4 instead of 11 – 3.

16 04 2010
Simon

You have to mow the lawns more often with the extra growing time.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

It also does terrible things to the body clocks of the birds.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

i got a sunburn!

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Imagine if you didn’t sleep through the first 3 hours of sunlight? That would suck! We might have to actually fucking do something active after work. *Shudder* (“that’s not what we fucking moved here for, Chanel, Bligh is a fucking dyke! But Centrelink sure is handy!”)

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

are you drunk?

16 04 2010
Sten

Scarily, a lot of them I’ve met are also mad keen on capital punishment (as long as it’s strictly for smack-smuggling Asians).

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

And for pedos, even while the bogue rubs one out to shaved ’18 year olds’ that look 14.

16 04 2010
Sten

Ugh… bang on the money, Chairman Miaow.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II

i’ve always been mystified as to why bogans shave their bits. kinda freakish IMO.

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Lice. Apparently Lynx kills them as well…

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

hohohoho

Good one Glass ‘em all!

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

One of my friends, a Kiwi bogue, is constantly on my case (bogan) about my alleged lack of shaving/waxing ‘all of it’.
He presumes this because I am always questioning him about his obsession with “hairless” and comparing this with men appreciating pre-pubescents…

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

its worse when they misquote The Offspring: “she’s under 18, you won’t be doing any time”. yes you will do time. up until you get shanked in the shower.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’ve raised an interesting point – a rift, a dichotomy in the bogan world. The horde are largely in favour of capital punishment, but their beloved Newscorp is not.

Why the difference of opinion?

Is it the last vestige of rebellion amongst the staff of Newscorp against Rupert’s tyranny, or the last vestige of thought the horde has that is untarnished by what Rupert wishes them to think?

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Nah, I’d like to think the journos there just can’t stomach that one. Given how many times future DNA testing will establish innocence. I’d like to think that. I would.

The truth is probably that they’re saving it up for the day when bogan numbers outpace non-bogue. Fast coming.

Maybe we should hope that Damo keeps begging Shaz for some khyber rumpty, and she finally gives in, enjoys it and that becomes the preferred bogue nooky.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

a little verbose aren’t we?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of all the things I’ve been accused of here, letting my higher degree in the Classics go to waste is not one of them. ;-)

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

What are you doing with this “higher degree” exactly ?
You seem to spend your days on line ad not much else.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Nothing of any great importance. I am a lady of leisure and free to spend my days as I wish. How sad you equate a superior education with the need to earn money. Says a lot about your station in life.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

and no response??! haha

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Speak softly, the rupert may hear

16 04 2010
Sten

My insight into the Bogan mindset only goes so far, Fi. yet it potentially becomes more complicated when the Bogan is asked to contemplate the fate of one Van Tuong (Caleb) Nguyen. Born in Melbourne, but of Vietnamese stock, executed in Singapore in 2005.

This must be terribly discombobulating for the Bogan, on the one hand, he was an Aussie, but of course, not white.

16 04 2010
Sten

Oh, crap… he was actually born in Vietnam, but did swear alegiance to this wide, brown land.

16 04 2010
Antosha

The bogans I know couldn’t wait for him to hurry up and ‘dance the Tie-bo Jig’

Because they were ‘sick of hearing about the idiot’

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Antosha, I thought “Tie-bo-jig” was a special at the local chinese take away?

19 04 2010
Antosha

One has to be careful not to choke on that particular dish..

19 04 2010
James Hunter

Antosha,
could be worse, go to an I ndian place and get Bangalore torpedo

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh sh*t.
I just had a flashback.
all these posts just popped up.

16 04 2010
Tone

Or, as they are more commonly known by the Bogan, ‘Escape Goats’.

16 04 2010
loftie

wow… chubby is really slammin thru the comments today!!

i thought that there must have been some sort of controversy (maybe somone had been stitched up by Fiona again)…

and then I realised that TBL must have pissed the bed – and got up super early!!!

and that chubby might have mixed a little too much GIN into the Moscato… and flown into an uncontrollable rant…

thank god its friday

16 04 2010
Simon

I think Chub has fixed the ROLFCOPTER and is back in full flight.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I get up early for the markets. Heavily into the NZSX.
opened Up this morning, so I was a little, y’know.

I could have retired by now,
but I took a bath back in the nineties on my hemp futures, mostly through over exposure to the opium glut.

I blame the CIA!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

did I get mud on Shirley M’s carpet?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I don’t have any carpet.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Well, no need to ask if it matches the curtains then.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Now that it looks like we QLDers are getting DST I’m so pleased I don’t have to worry about my curtains matching my carpets.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

concurs

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Loftie,
Chubbie is like me in that he prefers a fime dash of Metho to gin because it tastes better and it has more bangs per buck

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

anathema!

I may be partial to adding a methyl group…
from time to time.

3,6-dimethoxy-4-(2-aminopropyl)benzonorbornane

for example.
but not before lunch

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

great tool for creative expression btw ;)

16 04 2010
rob

it’s called “trial by bogan media”, Garrett and Nixon are accused, trialed, and convicted by the bogan masses who take the word of so-called media outlets like the herald sun as gospel.
although, in any organisation the buck stops with the man/woman at the top. so if you’re there, and something major goes wrong, expect to receive the blame, it’s how the blame game works!

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Though it never applies to editors or programme directors who get it wrong. Week after week.

16 04 2010
pb

judge judy and executioner is the bogan version of the phrase.

16 04 2010
Emma

I can’t believe they are firing her over having a meal break. As if the other police couldn’t figure out what to do while she was gone for 2 hours.

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Aah the scapegoat. (Or scrapegoat – thanks Mick.)

We here in Sydney are building up to a right royal scapegoating and all-round glassing for the recent F3 debacle.

Talkback radio has been ballistic with the hang ‘em calls, mostly in favour of our erstwhile Transport Munster, one D Campbell (think florid, northern england e by gum look).

Whilst generally happy to see him swing for a myriad reasons, the bogues in this instance are wrong. They want him spitroasted because he ‘didn’t step in and take control’ of what was, in effect, a major accident procedural exercise.

Can you imagine the uproar from Bogues if he had actually stepped in?

‘What’s the carnt doin, steppin’ in an pushing aside our hard-workin’ rescue blokes. Glory-chasin’ carnt.’

As ever, the bogue wants cake, to eat it, and lick bowl (road in this instance) clean. My head spins trying to keep up with the polar opposite views expressed often enough in the same breath.

I reckon the Romans were right. Bring back good Colosseum entertainment to keep the Bogue distracted while the rest of us get on with a pleasant and courteous life.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

bread and circuses? it’s a giant flashing neon sign saying “your civilization is doomed”.

Note z above alyssaKT. mwahahahahaha

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

bread and circuses

Love it Sten MK II HMC. One of my favourites!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. At least we in Victoria are fortunate to miss the daily rantings of Alannah Jones and his fervent whipping of the sensibilities of the bogan horde.

16 04 2010
Mezz

It doesn’t stop the bogan horde from calling him up and agreeing with him on air. That’s the funny part..

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

is not the whole talkback industry predicated on scapegoatage?
these poor civic duty types, copping it in the #124 to keep Alan Jones in international new right magazine subscriptions.

16 04 2010
J

$18 for a parma? I can get a parma and pint for $10 at my local!

16 04 2010
Bec

I can better that: the pub across the road from work (otherwise known to the senior admin team and the old Christian Brothers as “the southern campus”) gets you a schnitz, a pot AND a two dollar credit on the pokies for a bluetongue.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Its not that bad, The bogan restarant hot house,Hogs Breath charges $28.00 for a basic steak and chippsThat is $12 at the Black Butt hotel.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

daylight savings(sic) make the cows fade and tthe curtains won’t give any milk. and braydon and tahrneeah won’t go to bed when theys sposded too(sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic sic).

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

And every goose and his gander thinks someone actually made the “curtain fade” argument .

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

you do a lot to reinforce that myth.

16 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

what the “race doesnt exist myth” ?

16 04 2010
Mick

Of course it exists. I still love Bathurst in october.

I haven’t lost all evidence of my bogan upbringing yet.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

there is a great doco series I could point you to called “the myth of race” if you find it you could watch it after “Hey Hey…”
Put it this way…
If a big scary space monster came to earth, it might clarify for us that we are all the same species.
or
there is greater genetic difference between African and Indian elephants than between any humans of any particular “race”.
(we are genetically closer to a chimpanzee than these two “races” of elephants are to each other)
or
a Chihuahua and a Doberman both still know they are dogs (despite the obvious physical differences) and will behave accordingly to each other.
ergo:
dogs are smarter than you.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

racism is a myth. probably a government initiated one, but a myth nonetheless.
Emperor Hadrian was Black African. It had nothing to do with race, and everything to do with culture. Romans had a saying for troops from other Regions: “Just remember that while you’re here, you march our march and you drink our beer”. It brought everyone onto the same page.

Multiculturalism is awesome at fracturing society, whereas a multiracial society is not even noticed by its members.

16 04 2010
Peter of Kensington

TBL criticising the Bogan for using scapegoats….Irony top score!

In your need to blame someone for societies ills, you have created the perfect scapegoat in the Bogan. You cannot even define what a Bogan is, other than by the problems that you attribute to them.

Remeber guys, if you don’t like something, it’s Bogan! They are ruining everything!

We’ve spent the past six months defining the bogan, Peter. Your loyal readership is proof that you’re aware of this. And Jimmy makes a good point. At no point have we asked for the bogan to be punished. We simply point out what they like. TBL

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/special-reports/christine-nixon-to-face-bushfires-commission-again-amid-resignation-calls/comments-fn4chuwg-1225853374200
David of Cranbourne Posted at 7:44 AM April 14, 2010

Mr. Brumby it’s about time you stop pussy footing around with TAXPAYERS money and do a bit of rearranging in your Government, first sack people who are ripping the system off like your Planning Minister and now Ms Nixon and how about yourself stepping down because at the present I do not think you have any credibility about you get rid of the dead wood thats costing TAXPAYERS money, by the way when you are a member of the Armed Forces,Police Force or any of the other forces you are on DUTY 23hrs 59mins a day in a emergency like BLACK SATURDAY Ms Nixon left her post to go for dinner as she said had to EAT.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. It’s a valid point TBL. Crying out for a rebuttal.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I second that motion.

16 04 2010
Simon

I want to have a motion everytime Peter bangs his well worn drum.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Is it a drum? I thought it was wooden spoon on a saucepan.

16 04 2010
Simon

Should we call him Ruprect?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Reprecht’s all about…

Sun and soda-pop,
Paws on puppy-dogs, candy-canes,

Ruprecht’s all about
Chocolate bunnies and
Lazy afternoons and daisy-chains.

Ruprecht’s all about hugs and valentines…

AND

Milkshake enemas…

16 04 2010
Simon

I was thinking Ruprect from the movie Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels!

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Whereas I, the more cultured of us two thought about Ruprecht from the play “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels”. Edify your cultural sensibilities, dear boy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrMeVCalUtY

16 04 2010
Simon

I shall, have you seen the movie, I thought you may identify with Michael Caines character?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Of course I have. I haven’t, however, seen the original (starring Marlon Brando and David Niven). I should very much like to.

16 04 2010
Simon

I did not know there was an original. That would be great. How about the new remake with Jude Law and Brad Pitt?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. No, I haven’t seen it. Could be good, but the Caine / Martin version really is excellent.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Reading u two I think I go to see “Waiting For Godot” as its comming to Sydney soon.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

gold.

16 04 2010
Sten

Yeah, let ‘im have it, TBL.

16 04 2010
Jimmy

Of course, blaming other people for the world’s problems is rarely productive… But you’re comparing a satirical blog with a large group of angry people demanding that someone (Garret or Nixon) should be sacked.

Sure, if in the next post TBL condones a mass genocide of bogans you might have a point, but until then this blog is just for fun.

16 04 2010
Mick

Hmmm…mass genocide of bogans.

I’m very interested in your views. Do you have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

16 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Have TBL denied being bogans themselves? Maybe they are talking from the heart and giving the minority their time in the sun.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. TBL’s self description:

We who are responsible for this are not self-aware bogans. We are not like Woody Allen making Jewish jokes. We are snobs. Hipsters. We mock these people out of sheer spite and an infuriating sense of self-superiority. We are very young, very white, and total arseholes. And that’s how we like it.

16 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

My bad, missed that part, so they are bogan, at least they can own up to it. Thanks for the clarification Fiona.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I just read up to “David of Cranbourne”. That’s all I needed to know really.

16 04 2010
pb

david of cranbourne hasn’t learnt what a full stop is. also, love the bogan habit of writing some words all in capitals – almost as good as the completely capitalised comment.

16 04 2010
Simon

TRUE!

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I can’t help seeing one of monty python’s gumbies when I read that rant.

with the knotted hanky and the clenched fists…

“she said she had to EEEAT”

16 04 2010
pb

brilliant, edna!

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

“my BRAIN hurts…”

16 04 2010
Antosha

My head’s stuck in the cupbooaarrd !!!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

SHUT UP MR GUMBY!

16 04 2010
Jimmy

Reading that grammar-less wall of text from David of Cranbourne reminds me of another great bogan trait: SAYING THINGS IN CAPITAL LETTERS SO PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

Same as English explorers shouting slowly in English at, er, indigenous peoples, assuming they’ll understand.

16 04 2010
brad

The Planning Minister-ha ha , he is in knees deep my friends and they,re pretty high knees.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. “They,re”? Hi common man. :-)

16 04 2010
brad

stop teasing me Fiona,its mean and it really hurts my feelings.

16 04 2010
common man

hi i see muz has you busy today??no s@m then??

16 04 2010
poida

Peter of K, you contradicted yourself at the end of your rant with this truism:

Remeber guys, if you don’t like something, it’s Bogan! They are ruining everything!

CORRECT!!!!! hehe

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

This post ties in with mobs for me.
With the Bo part of Bogan standing for Bovine.
A great zombiesque horde of drooling, gesticulating bogans info’d up by the demagogue squad, venting their rage on an unsuspecting franchisee/politician/lawyer.

Once upon a time in Bogan mythology, a bogue had an original thought and the ‘brain flash’ took out its immediate family. Consequently all Bogues avoid original thought instinctively, achieving a consensus via some sort of “hundredth monkey” process on whether Bolt, Devine, Kerri Anne Kennerley (because she spoke italian in that Dolmio ad and must know what she’s on about) or Jonesy is on the money this time.

asinine.

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

As in Nine.

Quite right Edna.

The way I see it, the bogue is simply a teenage mind in an adult body… that votes (well, has the right to), that earns money and borrows more from the bank to buy more shit it wants rather than needs.

The bogue, like my teenage daughter, has a global world view about the size of it’s arm-width.

The bogue is the 17 yr-old p-plater who cuts in front with mad drivin’ skills, who jumps the queue into the left turn lane right at the last minute. Whatever it’s actual age.

The bogue, like a teenager, has all the insight of a cricket nibbling on grass.

They add little to society except health-care costs and noise on talkback radio.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-witte

Nice one Chairman Miaow!

I like to say:
To buy sh*t they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like.

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Nutshell.

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Edna bogans and zombies, “Night of the living Bogan”, way too frightening to make imho.

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Why don’t we take a leaf out of Douglas Adam’s little tome and give them free tickets on a big arse rocket ship (just tell them it’s free now, 24 months to pay) and send ‘em to The Summer Nats on Mars and the new Ed Hardy store opening on Uranus.

Advertise it in the terror and on Nein, and place flyers on every ute you come across.

Think of the peace and quiet.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Because we might all subsequently die from telephone borne diseases?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
A whole new Medical Specialist Field
“Ototelephonista”

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

YES!

And we’ll set up fake cameras everywhere and tell them that we’re watching 24/7.

It will be called:
Big Brother: Uranus

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Or,
Big Brother: Your Anus

‘cos let’s face it, bogues don’t get irony!

18 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

big brother. my arse

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. They would probably all go willingly too – if it was to Uranus. The implied promise of endless anal would prove a strong lure…

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
are you”Lost”

16 04 2010
reparty

Off topic a bit, but the Courier Mail comments section is yet again proving to be a gold mine…..

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/young-liberal-nick-sowden-in-barack-obama-race-row-after-offensive-comments-posted-on-twitter/story-e6freoof-1225854365789

My fave so far….
Brett of NSW Posted at 9:36 AM Today
My god we have become a precious lot…and as for all the whining do-gooders crying the R word every time they hear something they don’t like, I wonder how many of you actually know what Racism means…or better still what “race” is. How the hell does calling someone a monkey equate to racism? More pathetic ill-informed drivel from the chatting class and PC brigade.
Comment 31 of 42

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

I think young Nick is going to require a TBL post of his own in the near future.

Probably not. He never prefaced his Tweet with “I’m not racist, but Obama’s a monkey”. TBL

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

but Obama is from Kenya.

16 04 2010
pb

my god.

16 04 2010
Chairman Miaow

Good grief.
It’s getting harder and harder to fight back. Run! They’re everywhere.

Maybe we should all just pretend we’re in a zombieland movie and shoot the c*nts. Then claim it wasn’t my fault, a movie told me to do it. That could work.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-witte

Ooh, can we use shotguns?
Shotguns are great for Zombies

*BOOM*
spatter

16 04 2010
Simon

I will use a lawnmower as per Braindead, classic NZ zombie movie.

16 04 2010
vivisection

before Peter Jackson joined the dark side..

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I am in agreement.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Best zombie movie ever.

16 04 2010
Simon

Lionel!

16 04 2010
Simon

I wish they would release it on DVD, I have a $5 video with crap colour and you need full colour for this one.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I can’t believe this hasn’t happened!

It’s an OUTRAGE!

16 04 2010
vivisection

Surely you can buy online somewhere?

16 04 2010
Simon

I have not looked for a while but could not get region 4 last time I did look.

18 04 2010
JimC

“I kick arse for the lord!”

Probably the best version to get would be the UK Region 2 release, as it’s uncut and released under the original title BRAINDEAD. Although I don’t know if the DVD is still in print or not.

Failing that, the US release goes by the dopey alternate title of DEAD ALIVE. This may be the same censored version that was released in the States.

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Simon it is available on DVD, try either ezydvd.com.au or maybe mighty ape over the ditch.

Actually Selwyn looks rather too good for a bogan brat really.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

XBH, tried both and no listing?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

…get my dress.

16 04 2010
Simon

Come to mother Lionel.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Can I ?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Can I use hair clippers like in “Shawn of the Dead”
he he

16 04 2010
Simon

Sure can, just make sure they are sharp.

16 04 2010
vivisection

What about Blue Monday on vinyl?

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

What about a Bananarama 12″?

16 04 2010
Sten

Hahahaha, love Brainded. As long as I can be the kung-fu priest.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I kick arse for the lord.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

no guns. they’re bad. only criminals and police(criminals-in-uniform) should have guns. don’t you know anything?

16 04 2010
vivisection

Or “Christine should have stopped me”

16 04 2010
Shirley M

That Brett is both a reader of and commenter on The Courier Mail site makes perfect sense.

Worst. Paper. Ever.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Don’t exaggerate, Shirl.

Monday to Saturday, the Curious Snail is the Worst. Paper. Ever.

But then, each Sunday, we are reminded of what true tabloid excrescense looks like – Sunday Mail, c’mon down, you benchmark of festering advertorial swill.

16 04 2010
reparty

The thing is, I moved down to the Gold Coast because I was sick of the Dan Murphy’s mentality in Brisbane masquerading as some sort of sophistication. As a fellow waiter at a place I used work at remarked, “Fucking Sizzler eaters”
At least down here all pretence of sophistication goes out the window….no matter how much cash is in Brisbane the same duds will always jump up and down and say how Brisbane has “made it” and is “no longer the big country town” it used to be. Sorry, I’m rambling, but the place just shits me so much now, and reading the CM in the morning makes me feel secure in my decision to leave.

16 04 2010
Mezz

Farking Sizzler – If they were still around up here they would have posted it on TBL long ago. Once upon a time in NSW, Every bogue and their tribe of boguelettes would make the pilgramage to the local Sizzler and then hand the little shoits over to the Salad Bar to babysit them.. I lived in an apartment above a Sizzler and was afraid to leave my building some nights as it was such a scary sight on the other side of the glass.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

I had a meal at Sizzlers imn Melbourne years ago.
The Bean salad was fermenting on the plate, bubbles of gas popping every where.
only way I could get attention was to snort two line of castor sugar of the place mat. That got the managers attewntion. only the threat of thjrowing up in fronty of the cash register, where the que of bogans waited to pay on the way in ! got us all a refund. what a hole.

16 04 2010
brad

A former workmate of mine once went too sizzler and ordered a piece of Rump,cooked medium.Anyway when he received it the rump was hardly cooked so he sent it back to the chef so he could grill it too his satisfaction.My said workmate was pissed-off and let all and sundrie know.Anyways when the steak finally came out all his family had eaten already,so he pulled the pin,and took it home in a doggie bag.That night he left it in the fridge.The next afternoon he got home from work and went too tuck-in too his meat only too find,much too his dismay,that his visiting Mother-In-Law had already eaten it.And that was the end of that,so he thought.
Two days later his Mother-*In-Law was rushed too hospital too be treated for a severe out-break of Herpes all down the inside of her throat!-True story!

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh my!

Prophylactic Acyclovir stat!
…don’t want chancre’s on my eyes.

18 04 2010
AlyssaKT

come on!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh my.

16 04 2010
Antosha

Was that Harbajhan Singh’s post?

16 04 2010
Holly

One of the most heinous cases of scapegoating I can ever remember reading about was a few years ago when a couple of bogans tried to sue the person who leased out their houseboat to them, because their 3 or 4 year old had fallen overboard and died. They were ACTUALLY trying to sue on the grounds of there not being enough measures taken to protect their child from falling, as he ran around the houseboat while they sat in the spa gettig pissed.

I hate that we live in a culture now when there are no such things as basic tragic accidents. Pointing the finger wildly around in the hope of making it stick to someone won’t bring your loved ones back.

16 04 2010
J

Linking back to the “No Win, No Fee*”. Nice.

16 04 2010
Mezz

Lindi Chainberlain was the worst case I can recall in my lifetime in Australia. I was a child at the time and even then could see the inappropriate ways that this woman and her family was victimised by the Grim-Jaws of the day. I still can not fathom why so many adults miss the point and feed the monster instead and probably never will understand.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

“Who are you?”

“LOL. Fiona. I live in Toorak.”

Fiona is a actually a man masquerading as an upper class twit in a semi-professional role as an internet comments troll. (Do a quick google search.)

The hilarious (or ridiculous) part of it is how long he has perpetuated this act and how he must be laughing his arse off at the peanuts that flirt with him.

I could go on but some of us here have to pay your public service wages.

FOF!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

So MUZ
Your the only one to have sorted this?
Wow

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Problem James??

I believe the ‘ones who have sorted this’ are in the minority.

Like flirting with men do you James?

FOF!

16 04 2010
Simon

Muz,

If you think we don’t understand Fiona then you are a complete f*cking idiot.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Charming Simon. You have this big con job put over you and instead of venting your anger at the perpetrator you have a go at me.

The fourth wall has been smashed and here come the peanuts up in arms about their delusion being shattered.

You sound like a little boy who’s just been told he can’t have his lollipop.

FOF!

16 04 2010
Simon

Sorry all, I should know replying to Muzz would be wasted. We live and learn.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Quite right Simon. Advice I shall now take myself. I never head to the western suburbs in real life, so why should I do it here?

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

That’d be right, you are just like a child.

Has been bested and now picks his bat and ball up and sulks off to his little group of friends who give him reassurance that it’s OK to be a loser.

Like being hoodwinked by a man Simon? Just like James likes flirting with a man. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Thanks Jerry.)

FOF!

16 04 2010
Benjamin

C’mon Muz. It’s bleeding obvious to everyone that Fiona isn’t who he/she/it claims to be. I don’t think anyone is being hoodwinked here.

Not all folks think this is a problem.

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

OMG Fiona is really Shazza from Blacktown!!!!!!!

16 04 2010
Benjamin

No, she’s a plumber called Dwayne. I made that clear some time ago.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Do a bit of reading on previous posts Benjamin and you may be surprised.

FOF!

16 04 2010
Benjamin

Disagree. I see a lot of folk playing along.

16 04 2010
Mezz

We established the identity of Dwayne the plummer on St Patricks Day didn’t we?

What’s this all about?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Muz,
You need counseling

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Would you care to explain why?

I’ve told you Fiona is a man and instead of being embarrassed at having one put over you, you instead choose to have a go at me.

Talk about shooting the messenger.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Delusional doesn’t come close to describing you lot. And by you lot I mean Fiona’s fanclub.

Keep flirting with men James. I’m sure your wife would approve.

FOF!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Let’s award Muz todays ‘outstanding contribution’ award. What do you say, gang?

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

*Nods in approval*

16 04 2010
Fourth Earl of Plymouth

*smiles benevolently*

Jolly good show – wot!

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

I will cut and paste this from a previous TBL post as I can’t be arsed spending all afternoon arguing with with fools.

2 quotes come to mind.

“There are none so blind as those that will not see.”

and “do not argue with fools, people may not be able to tell the difference.”

FOF!

So what are you saying? You are your lots’ trolling is OK but mine is not?

I’ve been a part of this blog since way back at the beginning and I have just as much of a right to comment as you and your little cohort do.

You and the rest of your lot are acting like a pack of little primary school bullies. A couple of people object to the inane postings because they want to read about examples of bogan behaviour and you and your little schoolfriends try and drive them out. What a joke! Pathetic.

You think I don’t possess an intellect? Well my comments may not be James Joyce but they certainly don’t consist of shit like ‘Oh, good one Fiona.’ or ‘you are ignorant, of ignorance!’ or other gold.

Unlike yourself I have work to do but will check back later to assess your witty riposte!

FOF!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Have you heard of the concept of transference?

The quotes you provided are wonderful examples.

16 04 2010
Benjamin

I’ve had a few swings at Fiona myself, much earlier in proceedings. Even so far as to compose limericks about her (I got applause from common man for that).

But alas, her assumed persona allows her to simply fob off any criticism without reason, and she seems to have a lot more time than you or I.

As such she simply cannot be beaten. There is absolutely no point complaining, kicking, ranting, swearing revenge, breeding attack dogs, making blood oaths, preparing for war, brushing your teeth in an angry manner or otherwise. It’ll get you nothing but more upset, and lead you to piss off/annoy folks who will then turn around and attack (that’s for another discussion perhaps).

So I’ve taught myself to either be amused by it, ignore it or indulge it. At least you’ve got to admire her/his/its persistence. And she can be quite funny at times. She’s a character.

Again, I don’t think anyone believes that FOT is who she purports to be*. Nobody is *that* stupid.

There is still plenty of good quality discussion mixed up with it, IMO. Including from those who you are up against right now.

* Except maybe Fiona herself.

16 04 2010
vivisection

Muzz, what is there to be embarassed about? You need to get past the whole gender / sexuality thing. Its the 21st century. And quoting Seinfeld doesn’t make you look any less like a homophobe.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

For the record I don’t care what your sexual orientation is.

I’d be interested to know however what you would think if you flirted with a ‘woman’ for months on end only to be told that that person is actually a man.

FOF!

16 04 2010
vivisection

I still don’t see why you would care – look at people for their minds, not their genitals. I you liked them enough to flirt with them, you are obviously attracted. A flap of skin between their legs, or lack thereof is irrelevant, particularly if you don’t care about sexual orientation.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Muzz,
What if people flirt with you for months , thinking that yourr a man?
What happens when they find that you are still in short pants?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You all really think I’m a man? :-(

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

No Fi, just Muz but he appears to be delusional.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Your gender is completely irrelevant to me, Fiona.

Though a man named Fiona is the silliest thing I’ve heard of since a Boy named Sue.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Don’t worry about being losing your following here. They’ve invested too much time blowing smoke fair up your arse to admit they may have been conned. They will just choose to ignore the glaring inconsistencies and remain with the status quo.

Just like a Christian that may doubt the existence of God. Do they give up their belief, which they invested perhaps 40 years of more in, and admit they’ve been conned or do they ignore that part of their conscience that doubts it could be so and go on their merry way.

I think we all know the answer here.

FOF!

16 04 2010
vivisection

or a dog named trevor

16 04 2010
malheureuxmaus

No. I just skip over the vast majority of your comments.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I ought to thank my father for the gravel in my gut and the spit in my eye then?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. What “following” is this exactly? I see nothing more than some like minded people who enjoy discussing the lives and foibles of people like yourself Muz.

Hmm, you know, I think I see the issue here. You want to be in with the cool crowd but don’t quite know how to do it, so you’re lashing out by giving me a verbal “glassing”…

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I personally don’t care. I am actually an un employed Chinese drug addict of indeterminate sex posting from a house I broke into, my pants encrusted with semen from constantly jacking off my giant clitor*s because I can’t find a r*pe v*ct*m.

(Vale Hunter)

I am sooo over sad cases who lack the wit to fathom your literary stylings.

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Me too Chubby. That is, if your comment was about me. So hard to tell when the thread breaks.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Vivisection,
Maybe Muzz is an “Intellectophobe”
new word(i think) just to describe the otherwise indescribable.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I sincerely doubt anyone of us are fooled by anything.
you, however, are off the deep end, sir.

I, for one, am tired of trying to explain this to lack wits.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Simon, you believe what you want to believe so as not to shatter the illusion you’ve been under and admit you’ve been conned.

“….as those that will not see.”

FOF!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Muz ,If you are not already off the deep end then may I offer to throw you off?
a point:
you say”like a Christian who doubts God”
By my reasoning if a Christian then they do not doubt God and if they doubt God then they are not a Christian.
Either I missed that part of Philosoph 101 or you did.

16 04 2010
StuManChu

One of the best posts in a while guys, well done

16 04 2010
john

Christine is being targeted by the biggest bogans in the country. The Victoria Police Union. Payback for sacking corrupt coppers.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

All Police Unions should be abolished. the irony of unionized police breaking up piquet lines or protests of another unionized industry’s workers is breathtaking.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

In psychology, scapegoat theory is defined as the prejudice created towards an out-group when an in-group needs to explain a troubling event dealing with fear and anger.

Today’s bogue is incapable of taking personal responsibility for anything, let alone simply sucking it up on occasion. Frustratingly, it cannot glass a bureaucratic bungle or general cock-up, and Slater and Gordon hasn’t yet worked out how to make a dirty dollar out of suing a natural disaster. Yet bogue’s righteous thirst for vengeance shall not go unquenched…..

At the risk of invoking Godwin’s Law, this “not my fault but some b@stard’s gunna pay” mentality underpinned the holocaust. Post WW1 Germany was not a happy place to be but it was a bit tricky to point the finger of blame inwards or upwards. Ergo: “Jews! It’s their fault!” (NB: the scapegoat must be identifiable, or at least clearly differentiated from the baying mob.)

In 1961, the Weatherly study in the US deliberately frustrated students, then asked them to write stories based on pictures of named characters. When some of the people in the pictures were given Jewish-sounding names, anti-Semitic tendencies bobbed to the surface, with some students’ stories sheeting aggression and blame towards the Jewish characters – the scapegoats.

Anyone care to punt on what a similar test, using foreign-sounding names, carried out in 2010 Australia would evoke?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Terrorism terrorism and more terrorism.

I’m off to mix a caucasian and go fucking bowling.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

See that?

The Dude’s Law.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Hey,
Great use of the ‘Dude’s Law’ there Shirley.
WWTDD indeed.
Oh f*ck it. I’m out of here….

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m gonna smoke a joint.

16 04 2010
Mezz

Half your luck!

19 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

Or even better, take skinheads bowling.

19 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

(For some reason, replies often appear under the wrong posts. I hate this.)

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

Camper Van Beethoven!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

a massive sub-sonic grunt?

16 04 2010
Mezz

Please let me be a fly on the wall when they conduct that one!!!

16 04 2010
pb

interesting that you bring up the ‘sucking it up’ idea. the bogan loves to use that and similar phrases towards others, but is incapable of doing what it exhorts of others when it feels it has been wronged.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

I’m still gobsmacked at a magnificent case of this I encountered recently at a hair salon.

Femmebogue 1 bangs on about how her sister is suing (wait for it, wait for it) her “spray tan service provider” who apparently provided an excessively tangerine-y service the night before her wedding. Nearby femmebogues and chief snipper all nod in an aggrieved fashion, and concur that she’s “well within her roights”.

Talk then turns to recently-watched DVDs, including ‘Rabbit Proof Fence’. General consensus is that “they just need to get over it”.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

The purity of Bogue in one Delicious morsel!

17 04 2010
Tombarina

Edna, I swear I was looking around for the hidden cameras. Or at least the Irony Police to raid the place.

I don’t think I’d ever seen a more face-meltingly horrifying illustration of self-absorption and hypocrisy. The mundanity and mediocrity of it all made things worse.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Rabbitr prof fence? get over it? excellent !! rabbits usually try to get under it , first.

18 04 2010
Tombarina

Ch-BOOM, JH!

You saw me and raised me.

Tres droll.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
swear i wasnt trying to get (leg)over you.
esp since some of this group may be your hubby in disguise.
Alyaws enjoy your comments though. You ,AlyssaKT and Edna. cant forget Dame Edna.
I do a not bad Dame Edna impersonation except my beard spoils it !

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Why bring logic into this debate?

16 04 2010
Nick

Holding a minister accountable for a policy he engineered that resulted in 120 separate house fires, over 1200 complaints, several deaths and cost Australian tax payers $2,700,000,000… and when a report (costing god knows how much to commission) warning of all of the above was presented to the minister, he didn’t even bother to read it.

Or another minister (from the same party, funny that) who was responsible for emergency services, again didn’t bother to read the reports warning of this, and then leaving work to fill her gob during the largest emergency the state has ever experienced…

These people aren’t scape goats, they’re ministers, the buck stops with them. They are paid exorbitant salaries and given unquestioning authority and virtually limitless resources to oversee such departments and ensure disasters like the above are avoided or at the very least, minimized. When they fail, we have the right to point a big fat finger and ask why.

Come on TBL – I know you’re a bunch of lefties, but even for you guys this is stretching it ;).

Riiiiiiight. First, Christine Nixon has never been a minister of anything. She was police commissioner. It was a fire. Her responsibilities on that matter are fairly limited. Beyond police administering emergency assistance, she had no real role in emergency services. She is now being castigated because the SES, CFA and MFB had inappropriate systems in place to deal with the kind of freak fire we saw that day.

Second, a little-known fact about the insulation scheme was that it reduced the risk of fires. Check this out. Garrett wasn’t really responsible for developing the scheme, either; it was put together by the Department of Prime Minister & Cabinet, Treasury and Environment ministry as a part of the stimulus package. So, irrespective of what you think of our political leanings, we think the bogan is insistent on blaming people for events that are often blameless. And you don’t bolster your argument by suggesting that the police commissioner is an elected parliamentarian. TBL

16 04 2010
pb

with the victorian bushfires, though, there were so many poor decisions made by so many people that trying to hang all the blame on christine nixon like some of the tabloid media is trying to do is ridiculous. the worse decisions on black saturday were not including information on wind direction in the information available on the fire service website and being slow to update fire information and get it out on community radio. nixon maybe shouldn’t have gone out to dinner, but she isn’t responsible for all that went wrong.

16 04 2010
Nick

Bad decisions are ultimately the result of bad decision makers – ie: the minister. It’s like saying the captain of the titanic was a scape goat for the iceberg.

16 04 2010
vivisection

But natural resources have been mismanaged by both labour and liberal govts for generations, having a “you touched it last” analysis means nothing of value can be learnt

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Well said!

16 04 2010
brad

Its a pretty long last in Vic.

16 04 2010
pb

bad decisions on the day are the responsibility of those who made them on the day. nixon’s decision to go out for dinner was probably pretty dumb, but nowhere near the stupidest decision. holding her responsible for all of it is stupid and achieves nothing.

16 04 2010
Nick

“bad decisions on the day are the responsibility of those who made them on the day.” And of course we know it wasn’t her making the decisions on the day – because she was too busy stuffing her snout at a restaurant with her friends.

16 04 2010
Matt

Never mind, Nick, that insulation installations went up by a factor of 15 and insulation related fires went up by a factor of 0.5. If you do the basic math, you were an order of magnitude or so safer getting Garrett to do your insulation than you would have been getting it done beforehand. But don’t let that ruin your Abbott fueled conservative circle jerk.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

No one can be bothered with such boring yet relevant facts, Matt. Gosh!

16 04 2010
Nick

Its just another in a very, very long list of failed / botched / unfeasible policies delivered at unimaginable expense to the Australian tax payer to buy votes under the guise of remedying an economic crisis that, in this country, never actually existed in the first place. If we can’t hold the ministers of these policies accountable for their short comings and long costings… who, exactly, do you suggest?

16 04 2010
Nick

Tony Abbott – of course… talk about a scape goat.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Ode to Pete.

The beds are burning,
they loved you. Pink bats burning?
They crucified you.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

haiku fail!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

how is it a fail?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

i didn’t really get the crucifixion thing…

last line was a bit forced maybe?
last line should sort of be on a tangent…

nah
just didn’t work for me.
sorry

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

where shall we slumber
batts have consumed our roof
cold cold star blanket

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

:P

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I like the writing, chubby, however this really is a haiku fail.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

no way.
that is mad haiku.

I even got mother nature in there.

it’s bloody near a ko’an!!!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

it’s a fail in a technical sense, as your second line lacks the requisite amount of syllables.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

batts have con sum ed our roof.

for goodness’ sake enunciate girl!
;)

16 04 2010
Shirley M

My deepest apologies.

Carry on :)

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Well sir. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t render it a fail, does it?

The last line was an homage to ‘the ballad of john and yoko’, for the record.

I’ll try harder next time.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

i think we both too hard.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

*try too hard.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

On most counts, yes.

16 04 2010
Ironhalo

In other news, the latest bogan who should have exited the shallow end of the genepool….but modern medicine cruelly allowed to live.

http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2010/04/16/105941_local-news.html

I couldn’t resist this team. He got bitten by a snake, got cramps in his chest and legs, but wanted to ‘watch Underbelly’ so didn’t seek medical attention.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh my god,
He looks like a gumby!!

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I hate it when Darwin cheats us.

16 04 2010
Mezz

Farking Queenslanders!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

instead he will “excite” the shallow end…
no doubt

16 04 2010
The Boganator

That is ridiculously funny… nice one Ironhalo, keep that action coming thick and fast. All you tools clogging up this forum – learn from this man’s actions, THIS is what everyone is here for!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

An waard to Muz as the days most outstanding?
Fine , BUT, Outstanding WHAT ??

17 04 2010
common man

ignorance of arogence of course LOL

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
The vegies cant chew with their mouths shut,
Their Incisors get in the way and
They have to knaw on hard things all day so the incissors dont become so long as to pierce their own lips.
Ugh

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
Maybe Muz is off his meds?

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Did you say head?

16 04 2010
Juansito

TBL

COULD WE PLEASE HAVE AN IGNORE FUNCTION SO I DON’T HAVE TO READ FOT COMMENTS?

SERIOUSLY A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF READING HER MUNDANE CRAP..AND HER NEED TO START EVERY REPLY WITH LOL!!!1111!!!

maybe my point will have some merit in caps?

but please..ignore function or ban?

How about you roll your mouse wheel one notch? We’re not banning/ignoring you, we’re not banning/ignoring you. TBL

16 04 2010
the greek chorus

what’s the problem with Fiona?
what about alyssa and shirley constantly charging in on their high horses to nail up a PC banner on all and sundry?

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Or me? Aren’t I sufficiently annoying?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

For sure you are! You definitely deserved a mention. Better luck next time, Tombarina.

16 04 2010
Juansito

You love reading your own comments, don’t you shirl?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I don’t read them Juansito, I write them. I love writing my own comments.

However I would rather read mine than yours.

16 04 2010
the greek chorus

clip clop clip clop

16 04 2010
James Hunter

clip clop clip clop, pass the butter, clipp clopp clip clopp

16 04 2010
Juansito

My chrome browser has just started to rust from your awesomeness.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

full marks!
(I absolutely do not want to be involved in this in any way except for acknowledging that was a cutter Sir.)

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. L.O.L.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Sorry J – were you talking to me or Shirl?

I’m easily puzzled.

Especially as Chubby seems to be climbing the curtains…

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

i love reading my own comments.

If I didn’t crack myself up I wouldn’t bother, but…

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Thank you, bloss.

*trundles off to fetch a comforting warm Milo*

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

tryhard!

A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D. A.D.D.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

You should join Tombarina for a Milo, Chubby.

It’s criminal that you missed out on a mention as well.

16 04 2010
Juansito

oh cue the laugh track.

16 04 2010
James

Has my sense intellectual superiority been forgotten during my short absence?

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Yeah dude, how quick we forget, by the way welcome back.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

oh no! I’m certain you are a complete tool.

in fact I heard someone refer to you as the celebrated coeliac commissar of cruel consensual canine colon coitus
just recently.

16 04 2010
Glass 'em all

God I’d love to hear Ken from A Fish Called Wanda say that…

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Forgotten? It’s never been seen.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

when I was a younger person I was staying with my Nanna who kept her Gravox in a milo tin…
I was so scarred, I have never been able to touch milo since.

except on a nice roast.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

conflict makes me anxious.

16 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

I know how you feel, I don’t like any sort of breakfast cereal.

18 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Oh! I am only just finding this comment now! I love my horse. The view up here is grand! What’s the problem?

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

so now you’re blaming TBL!!?

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I smell a scapegoat.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Well it’s not his fault that he hasn’t figured out how to apply his in built ignore function.

16 04 2010
Mick

Scapegoat

16 04 2010
The Boganator

Interesting back and forth…

Noone gives a toss about my opinion I’m sure, but for my part I wish Fiona and co would p*ss off too…

You all obviously get along really well, so why not do it on a private board instead of here? Keep posts on the subject…

Thats all for now,

16 04 2010
Juansito

Yeah the inane chatter amongst the TBL clique that has formed is tedious at best. Nothing like going through interesting comments for me to interrupt some reggis affording each other praise online, i mean how rude of me!

As wonderful as reading facebook status updates and the people who decide to comment on them.

“eye likes this”

16 04 2010
The Boganator

Good call for that ‘ignore’ function mate!

How about it TBL – a function to ignore posters on our browsers would keep everyone happy, the clique can keep cliqueing, and the rest of us can get a, well, rest.

Say yeah people! Muzz, where are you? Support me? Benjamin?

Wordpress does not appear to contain this type of setting, so there’s not much we can do. You’ll have to ignore people the old fashioned way. TBL

16 04 2010
Tracy Rimjaw

Hoorah bitches!

16 04 2010
SD

At the risk of conspiracy theory=bogan, our Fi is not going anywhere cos she’s a TBL construct.

I don’t mind the clique but you are more than wee hostile to other folk, people. A bit of cyber bullying there I think. Ergo I think my next attempt for “The Slater-Gordon Mysteries” will be on “The Revenge of the Common Man” (written pretty much in his language for authenticity – hmm, I am wondering who will take the knife at the back!!).

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

I am looking forward to attempting to read that SD.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. TBL, please step in here and confirm to the great unwashed that I am not (so far as you are aware) related to you in any way, shape or form. Except for attitudinally.

16 04 2010
SD

Fi I believe it’s the European aristocracy hat prided itself on being unwashed.

16 04 2010
SD

“that”

16 04 2010
Benjamin

I don’t think this is within the power of TBL to give.

It’s something I could perhaps do (someone needs to lookup/learn greasemonkey for firefox (and also Safari and Chrome) and make a script). It’s definitely possible to create something that would remove Fiona from your view of the comments page.

But basically there are four problems with this. First, it’s work, and I have enough. Second I don’t really identify with either side of this debate (if you can call it that), and thirdly this thread isn’t helping.

Lastly, the comments section here is just a comments section; perspective folks.

I’d advise both sides to let it go. There ain’t no winning here, and the noise just increases when there is a skirmish. Like they say, if you’re not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.

The last time this blew up, it was nice and enjoyable in here for a couple of days afterward, with more on topic chatter, and less ad-hominem attacks. I’m going to do my best to help the situation by shutting up now, and look forward to tomorrow. Cheers!

16 04 2010
Juansito

I did a search for a php function that allows an ignore button or feature in wordpress. Alas no luck..but i am sure there is something.

might have a look through http://www.wprecipes.com/

16 04 2010
Benjamin

Juansito – take a look at this:

http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/34653

(TBL might want to take note too, if they feel that there are problems here)

It doesn’t work for TBL at the moment, but I can see how it could be modified to do so.

It is meant to let folks using FireFox with Greasemonkey to hide the posts of people they hold in disrepute. An hour or so of work (perhaps less) might get it working.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Boganhater,
Try it it works for me that is easy of course to ignore you.

16 04 2010
Muz

FOF!

Mr Boganator. Well said. They are children. In fact, primary school children, because if you have a go at them they start throwing their toys out of the pram and gang up on you.

If you feel the need feel free to use my FOF. It stands for Fuck Off Fiona.

It’s not trademarked, copyrighted, clever or ‘nuthink’ like these brainiacs might contribute but it’s a small consolation to know it gets up the nose of a few of them.

The best bit by far is if you make an inane comment or threaten the status quo they fire up and froth at the mouth as if to say how dare someone possibly disturb their little club.

They however can rabbit on all day with their shit and we’re supposed to cop it.

Watch the very next post….’well don’t read it then’…. but again I come back to my point written many times before. I do want to read comments relevant to the post, I don’t want to read hundreds of inane childish comments all farkin day long written by oxygen thieves and salad dodgers.

Do any of these pricks have a job?

FOF! Try it, you’ll like it.

FOF!

16 04 2010
Will S

Your long winded dribble is ten times as irritating as anything Fiona serves up…

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“let silence be your best reply”

Lao Tz’u

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Warn see tow,
only sensible part of what you said was
“how rude of me”
see? if you got that bit right you may get lucky and get something else right.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Boganhater
ypu could start , by keeping your own on subject.!!!!!!

16 04 2010
SD

warn see tow is the lamest attempt at humour that I have ever read.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

James has a penchant for racial mockery. He definitely thinks it’s funny, we can only hope it doesn’t also think it’s clever.

16 04 2010
The Boganator

Can someone explain to me what ‘warn see tow’ means please?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

It’s James Hunters attempt at anglo-fying Juansito.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Thank you

16 04 2010
SD

Indeed one could say the Hunter has much in common with bogans when it comes to issues of race.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Indeed one could.

But you don’t have to be a bogan to be racist, right James?

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
I wouldnt know being neither. so I bow to your more intimate knowledge.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Shirl,
Sometimes, No .

16 04 2010
SD

I can only hope you are not racist, Mr Hunter.

For your words yesterday were to put it mildly of the kind that made me glad that I am not one of those immigrants looking for citizenship here.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

SD
If you were to take the time to read what I say you would understand that I am not racist and tave no truck with those who are.
I do have a great interest in boarder protection and a great wish that this country avoid the problems that freaish boarders are causing in , say Holland, at the moment and the problems of weak boarder protection as we are seeing in France and Italy.
Go do some research then make concidered responses. As have some others on theis sit who have acknowledged that I am not racist.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!

16 04 2010
Juansito

And if it isn’t FOT little lap dog.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the subject is why we get along

16 04 2010
martin

The main problem with Garrett is that he’s apart of the Federal Labor party which has just spent billions of dollars of borrowed money and spent it on the most hardcore bogans.

1. Propping up the housing ponzi scheme

2. Pink bats

3. Allowing their developer mates to charge like wounded bulls for school halls etc.

I was a big Midnight Oil fan, and it’s true I didn’t care much for their politics, at least not in an immediate sense because I think the way the environment is addressed is futile if we don’t address overpopulation first or alongside with it. I feel very sorry for Aboriginals but that is a very complicated problem way out of the scope of the average person.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

So?
Are you part of the liberal party whose mates invented the Market Ponzi scheme? and created the Great Market Crash of 2009 ?? Took Labour to dig us out of that.

16 04 2010
martin

No. I don’t like the Liberal party either.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Thats good BUT do you belong to any political party?
Bety not
Nopw IF YOU do not then you have no right to complain about the politicians.
Reason is the parites select the candidates so only way to get better candidates is to go join some party and either stand as a candidate or at least help select one.

16 04 2010
martin

Garbage. A person has every right to complain whether or not they’re a member of a political party.

16 04 2010
The Boganator

Exactly correct! A critique of anything, political parties included, should stand or fall on its own merits – it is entirely independant of whether its source is a party member or not.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Good , then you wont be joining our “Down with Bogans, Australia Party”
Chubby,Sten Simon and Fiona will all eb pleased.

16 04 2010
Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

People come to believe what they must believe when they must believe it.

i am a Libertarian, but there is no party for me to join – AEC refused to grant a party permission to form. The only way out of the GFC/ Greater depression is to let the market do what it needs to do. Labor are morons for spending future money on propping up the rotting corpse of fiat money, fractional reserve banking and manipulated markets. we need to go to a system of sound money on the gold standard, free enterprise, small government and minimal taxation.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Your political knowledge is obviously superior to my own.
So, I take your point of view as a melange of the laissez faire and the anarchic.
It strikes my lay person’s eye that the Market has utterly no conscience. When the money ran out they all ran to Governments.
Unregulated, The Market would consume us in a generation. Past history being an indicator of future trends.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

if we had free markets, we would have no problem. bad investments and silly speculations get liquidated. People save and invest in enterprise, not borrow and speculate on loss making assets due to generous tax breaks. The free market will not give you what you want, or what you expect; it gives you what you deserve.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

And surely we will all get what we deserve.

18 04 2010
Sam

Unregulated, with 100% free markets we will end up with a giant corporation owning the world and us. On the way to this destination we will have ever increasing rich poor gaps and social problems – tags: USA, Australia, bogans

Two large countries with the freest markets (in terms of government intervention) in the world are probably India and the USA. Two of the most When people get money and power they distort markets to protect their position. Someone or something has to protect the little guy against this, this is called a government.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Sam, you must be the Minister for Economic Propaganda. Under a free market, corporations essentially cease to exist, as large “too big to fail” corporations, well, fail. They rely on government manipulation of markets – think Telstra, Water and energy companies, Banking cartel backed by RBA, a government sanctioned cartel, QANTAS plus 1 other, the list goes on. None of these corporations would exist without generous tax breaks and incentives doled out by your wonderful benevolent gubmint.

And if you think for 1 minute that USA and India are free markets, i have news for you. India was a Democracy from 1947 onwards, suffering the disease of socialist central planning. Some deregulation has occured, but its still a who you know, not what you know country. In the same period of time as India messed about trying to control their economy, a small barren city with no natural resources at all, with an Authoritarian Administration boomed economically, becoming a regional superpower of trade and finance, all through a very Liberal stance of free trade. That city was Hong Kong.

Please read up on Von Mises, Rockwell, Paul, Denning, Bonner, Wiggan and any other real world economists before regurgitating the drivel served up by the Main Stream Media, you know, corporations that own the world – and you.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

and the US, in case you haven’t been paying attention, has a private company printing its currency, and the feds now own several large banks, General motors, etc, all bought with freshly made-out-of-thin-air fiat money. they have essentially become a fascist country. In a free market AIG, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, General Motors et al would have collapsed, gone bankrupt and been liquidated, because they are too large to function. Then new companies, ones that stick to what they do, emerge, there are many of these, promoting competition and efficiency in the marketplace. No room for billion dollar executive payouts. sensible economics. and you protest this?

18 04 2010
Sam

Please don’t try to put words into my mouth. I have never protested the idea of pure markets on the grounds that they would limit CEO pay!

I think you have some good points – sounds great in theory. But your idea of pure markets is the stuff that fairy tales are made of. It is an impossible concept. Government must intervene to build roads, utilities, schools etc, etc. From that moment, pure/free markets are compromised. Communism works in theory too you know.

If corporations like Microsoft and Walmart were not restricted by the government anti-monopoly laws then they would own their respective industries. The same would eventually happen in all industries as soon as a corporation found a successful business model that it could use to corner the market long enough to shut out competition. Look at what the supermarket corporations do to farmers and consumers in Australia.

How would corporations price environmental damage if they were not forced to do so by a government? If more power was taken from the people (government) by corporations they would treat their employees much worse – compare Continental Western/Scandinavian european working conidtions with USA, Australian and UK conditions and you will get a rude shock.

You are searching for a pure answer, some people need these concepts to keep them going – a bit like people who believe that you will go to paradise when you die. But in reality there are no pure answers to these sociological issues, no black and white, only grey.

Blind belief in pure markets as our saviour is about as rational as blind belief in the imminent return of Jesus Christ to be our saviour.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

any laws implemented by any government can be circumvented by the market. why do you think black markets exist?

In a proper free market, Microsoft and Walmart/china mart would never have become as big as they are. you are contradicting yourself. the gubmint says do 100km/h on the freeway. how many people break that law? circumvent it by pushing a little harder on the accelerator?

Governments dabbling in infrastructure is a proxy for blowing taxpayer money, requiring an increase in taxes either directly, indirectly through inflation, or both. There is a big push for a 50k seat stadium to be built in perth. Football and vested interests – the people that will manage the venue, receive gate revenue and advertizing money from it – are pushing hard to get the state government to part with $1 billion of public cash/debt. There is no money to be made in it though, so building it would not benefit the public. If it was a money making venture like the spruikers claim, where are the private enterprise companies building it? they aren’t, because there’s no money in it.

If there is market demand for things, they will be made available. If not, it won’t.

18 04 2010
brad

HK,s success can be mainly attributed too George Lazenby

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Proving there are bogans in NZ

[quote]
When a man broke into a Lower Hutt home, he probably didn’t expect his crime to be broadcast live on the internet.

Jake Briggs, 33, set up remote, motion-triggered web-cameras in his Taita house about 18 months ago.

On Monday, the cameras proved their worth, capturing images as an alleged robber burgled his home.

Mr Briggs, a software engineer, was at work in central Wellington about 1.45pm when he received an email informing him the cameras had been triggered. When he opened the email, he watched live as the man allegedly stole two laptops, clothing and alcohol. He fled before police reached the scene.

“I was watching it happen … It just popped up and said new email and I looked at it, and I’m like ‘holy shit, there’s a guy in my house’,” he said.

It appeared the man had spotted a camera, and peered into it, looking perplexed. He then turned to face the wall – giving a clearer view of himself – before grabbing the gear and escaping over the back fence, Mr Briggs said.

“I wasn’t annoyed, I was more excited. Honestly, when I set it up I never even dreamed that this would happen. The challenge of setting it up was enough to make me set it up.”

He called 111 and explained what was happening to a bemused operator. Police reached the scene within 10 minutes but the alleged robber had left.

Mr Briggs has now turned to social networking to solve the crime. He posted the images, which clearly show a man wearing a baseball cap, on Twitter with a caption asking for information on his identity.

Colleague John Weaver, 27, watched Mr Briggs’ reaction as the emails arrived.

“It was almost that of disbelief. He sort of turned to me and said, `What number should I call if … somebody’s in my house.”‘

“I ran around to his desk and … he was scrolling through these emails and we were watching this guy go through his lounge.”

Mr Weaver has also posted the images on his Twitter account.

Constable Daniel Turner of Lower Hutt was impressed with Mr Briggs’ ingenuity and the security setup. “I reckon it’s a bloody good idea,” he said, adding that the quality was better than more expensive CCTV systems.

Police are wanting to speak to the man seen in the footage about the burglary.
[/quote]

16 04 2010
Mezz

Not at all surprising – Upper and Lower Hutt in Wellington is a sister suburb of Doonside (Western Syd)…

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

neat

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Mezz,
Dont talk about doonside like that
I went to Doonside school when it was a three teacfher school and the place was a country village. then.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Dear Juansito

I see that you remain frustrated at babbling and inanities, and you’d like to see more weighty content on TBL. Perhaps, then, you could cease your perpetual bitching and actually contribute something worthwhile.

You complain about the petty snipes, snips, shits & giggles among the posts. True. But these people also contribute to the heavy lifting. To help you out, here’s a quick guide to which issues some of this band of idiots have specifically raised on the site today.

Shirley M: the issue of blame around the Boxing Day tsunami; daylight saving
Chubby: the validity of delegation in a senior role.
Fiona: the investiture of authority in an Integrated Emergency Services situation; Newscorp
Ironhalo: Cairns moron
North Shore Mummy: Garrett in Parliament
XtremeBoganHunter: children overboard
Chairman Miaow: the F3 fallout; the bogan world view
Edna: the notion of consensus
Mezz: Alan Jones and talkback radio
Benjamin: “issues are tissues” – how to manipulate public opinion
Bec: gay marriage as a scapegoat for the collapse of straight marriages
Simon: celebrity as a guard against scapegoatism
Sten: public transport ettiquette
Antosha: vegetarianism
Martin: Federal Labor’s ponzi-style stimulus expenditure
Mick: impulse control, or lack thereof
Tubesteak: democracy
James H: Greenhouse gases
Peter of K: hypocrisy
Will S: double standards as applied to women in positions of authority
Laura: the nouveau bogue; racism
Nick: culpability of Gov’t ministers
Rob: trial by media
Reparty: the “monkey” Liberal staffer scandal
pb: sucking it up

Even poor old Common Man managed a worthwhile observation about the divide between being a taxpayer and being an actual contributor to society. Yet your sole role appears to be to whinge. To bleat. To carp, whine, complain and fingerpoint.

I find your bitching far more disappointing than that of Muz because, based on your sentence structure and strength of expression, you probably have something more considered and better-argued to contribute. And when you do, I shall look forward to reading it.

Yours, etc…

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

shall I bring the car around?

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Chub, I really am feeling quite cross. And since I’m planning on tucking into a cheeky Marlborough SSB (I know, I know) it’s best that you drive.

16 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Tombarina hope you enjoy your bottle of Marlborough (for any bogans reading that would be wine, and sorry no it doesn’t tend to come in 10litre casks).

16 04 2010
martin

That’s the word rich bogans use to describe their binge drinking habits. “Cheeky”.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

Not quite.
I’m not rich, one’s degree of boganity is best assessed by others, and the words that best describe my drinking are “cheap” and “Friday”.

16 04 2010
brad

Good one XBH your wisdom and knowledge enlightens us all.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

You’re a good woman. And thorough.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Damn you Shirley!
Again with your Lebowski quotes that fit so perfectly.
:D

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I’m really trying to get this ‘Dude’s Law’ thing off the ground.

Besides, I’m an ordained dudeist priest, so it’s my business to know these things, and my duty to promote them.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Abide then Shirley, abide.

16 04 2010
Lurker

Shirley,
What else is on HipShit.com?

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I wouldn’t know lurker. I’ve never visited that site.

16 04 2010
Juansito

No, really.

16 04 2010
Tombarina

No, really, yourself.

You clearly have opinions, you can write, and you appear to be possessed of a functioning brain. That puts you two-and-a-half steps in front of CM, and at least he tries to have a go.

If you have a POV to share, a case to argue, or just a festering grenade of opinion to lob into the mix, do it already. Be part of the solution you seek, instead of just griping about the problem.

I’d really like to read your non-carping input. And that’s the truth.

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Well put Tombarina.

You are a true gem!!

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Tombarina,

You are awesome and deserve a bottle of Cheeky.

16 04 2010
Sten

Nice one, Tombarina. Way to hand down the metaphorical glassing. Should Fi permit it, there may well be a place on my staff for you. ;)

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
Your persipacity is exceeded only by your eloquence.
Job well done
concider yourself awarded “The Fiona Medal Of Responsible Blogging”
hear hear for here here.

16 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

you forgot Poland.

17 04 2010
Will S

Discussing bogans on the internet: serious business.

17 04 2010
Bam

“Watchoo talkin bout Will S”

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon and Sten and Chubby,
Dont forget we do have an option and tyhat is to have Fi as our President with our Down with Bogans Australia Party as the ruling party in a one party state ,of course.

Concidering the misplaced flack I have recieved today for my comments that have been misconstrued as being racist, I would Love the portfolio of “Racial Integration” to take a page out of “1984″, so that I may employ my skills to the limit.
Chubby and Simon could manage “Neighbourhood watch” and our “department of shoreline solutions”
Fi , asside from being head of state could be in charge of “Education”

What say u chaps?

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I still have to find a position for Loftie. Somewhere under me.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
Somewhere under you sounds more then just a tiny bit naughty.
Don’t you think?
Not saying you shouldnt avail yourself of the bodies of “other ranks” but don’t publicise it, that’s all.

16 04 2010
Shirley M

Loftie would be the Prince Phillip equivalent of course. No official duties required.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

ShirlyM,
Excellent choice, when I was a lad we used to joke that the Queen liked Philips 21″ (TV) but dont know Loftie would go swining a 5″ LCD ??
giggle, giggle,
Probably more then Fi could handle I would hazzard a guess.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Especially if he was made to be behind her.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon, Esp if it was a 55″ LCD which is what I had intended !!

16 04 2010
Shirley M

I don’t like to speculate as to the size of ones television.

There’s no shadow of a doubt, however, that Fiona could ‘handle it’. Whether she would, is another matter entirely.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Shirl, perceptive as always.

16 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. Let’s chalk it up as a pretty firm (no pun intended) no!

16 04 2010
Simon

I like being Glasser at Arms really. I’ve never had a title.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Simon,
As Party president, I would say, “Concider it Done” subject to Fi’s official stamp ,of course.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m going Ronin.

16 04 2010
Oh so true!!!

Never a truer word!!

Plus, if they ever believe they have been hard done by in some way – instead of calling a lawyer, they call A Current Affair (ie. A Repetitive Whinge) or Today Tonight.

Lucky probably coz a lawyer would probably laugh at them.

16 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Thank you my friend

16 04 2010
Peter

Couple of responses at this late stage of the day:

#1 I had no idea this: ‘the most inefficient, ignorant and just plain dumb group of human beings ever assembled’ was, ‘in fact Nickelback’.

Simply, I do not listen to Nickelback. I never have.

#2 and this: ‘And tell me, Peter, what exactly have you done for this country out of selflessness other than denigrate people who serve to protect you (That’s us, Peter, we serve to protect you from the bogan. TBL)?’ Well, i’ll get to what I do in a few lines, but first can you please tell me how ‘selflessness’ and doing paid employment (regardless of how badly it’s done) belong together? That’s the tragedy of machismo according to people like you: a man is never quite man enough… And as far as protecting me, by which I guess you mean protecting the Australian borders, the real pity is that you’re not protecting the entire nation from Border Patrol. In fact the Australian Navy are often featured as a form of guest appearance.

Now, I ‘do’ for my country what I believe is the most suitable thing: I create employment and pay a great deal of tax. The freedom of each and every individual I employ from misogynistic, homophobic or abusive behaviour has never nor will it ever be betrayed in the workplace I created. The same can’t be said of the Australian navy. No good deed goes unpunished and all that, but as far as your cronies who ‘retired rich in their 30s’ go. Anyone who at the same time believes they are rich after barely half a career’s worth of slightly above average wages in the Australian navy and also rich enough to retire while still in their 30s surely has very little understanding of exactly what the words rich and retire actually mean. It’s the only conclusion possible. I’d back my bottom line of solid assets against you and another of your navy mates total “wealth” any day.

Once again for the slow (and especially the particularly slow James Hunter) the Australian Navy is the most inefficient, ignorant and just plain dumb group of human beings ever assembled.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

forgive my flippancy please Peter (re: nickleback)
and I shall forgive yours (re: understanding of exactly what the words rich and retire mean)
by re-examining my own understanding of “rich” I am able to retire before my mid forties.
riches I will take before your “solid assets” any day.
have a nice day at work tomorrow!
:)

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

Such vitriol from a member of the ‘blissfully ignorant’. I would never dream of judging someone based on whatever employment they found enjoyable or fulfilling, but evidently you got touched up by a family member at a young age who might have been ex-ADF. That is the only logical conclusion I can come to that would explain such blind hate and foaming lickspittle.

I’m a navigator/warfare officer by trade, and despite a tertiary education, I found the idea of driving large grey ships by the stars, traveling the world, and keeping the family lineage of military service preferable to a life in the Canberra public service ether, or sitting behind a desk using managerial buzz-phrases like ‘let’s not go down this rabbithole’ and ‘in the HR space…’ I’ve gone peacekeeping, I’ve arrested my share of Indonesian fishermen, rescued a few boat people, been in a few dangerous situations, and I’ve also been to the funerals of two classmates who I went through the defence academy/uni with who both died in a helicopter in Indonesia delivering supplies to people who were on the brink of survival representing their country. It’s been a great experience, and sentimental drivel aside, one of the greatest honours of my life thus far has been to command men and women of this country who, although on some occasions have caused me no end of paperwork when they have gotten in trouble, have taught me some valuable lessons about human’s ability to operate under pressure, and indeed, on leadership and management in general. For you then to refer to these people as ‘ignorant and dumb’ is offensive. Same could be said about baristas. Same could be said about stockbrokers. Same could be said for HR managers and recruiters, tradesmen, or anyone else in society. Why generalise?

For the record, the guy in question who retired early and joined the Navy was in the public sector before he joined, hence my point. The guy had more money than Jesus, but wanted to do something different. I notice you felt the need to compare your ‘solid assets’, the surest sign of low intelligence, as only a bogan would care about competing with anyone else. I don’t give a flying toss what you own, what you’re a debt slave to, or how gifted you think your kids are, the end state is this: do whatever makes you happy, but don’t for a second denigrate people in this country based on their profession, as this is truly the mark of the uneducated.

Insults are the first tool a dullard reaches for when confronted. Or would that be a broken glass? Oh and for clarification, give yourself a medal for paying tax. Contrary to the myth, all ADF members pay tax. And in the majority of cases, the highest bracket. Does that perhaps dissipate your unreasonable hate? In short, keep your forked tongue behind your teeth, your inane rants about people you don’t know only paint you as an idiot….something which you appear based on your ‘solid asset accrual’ to be clearly not.

17 04 2010
Bam

tl;dr

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Iron halo,
thank you, I was beginning to think you were gone for the day.
I am not and have not served in our military something I wish were different but as one who applied to join at 17 and was rejected because I was alergic to Penicillin, I had no choice.
I have worked closely with the military on a number of projects and they have my highest regard for their knowledge, dedication and patriotism.
May the gods smile kindly on you and yours and all the other fine men and women in all our services.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

ADF should pay no tax at all.

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

I wish mate. I wish.

But happy to pay it, it allows me to pull people up who say ‘I pay your salary’.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Wow, the old “I pay’ for you to live shite should be reserved for work dodgers on welfare. I can’t believe people say that to you. I may not agree with the concepts of many wars but I firmly believe in the need for you and other service men and women and your great diligence.

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

whenever that was brought up – usually the day after anzac day – i’d just remind said moron that “well you may pay my salary, but i kill people for a living”. follow up with a solid thousand yard stare, and problem solved.

18 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. You’re my new hero. <3

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi
you are sooo fickle

18 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I was being sarcastic.

17 04 2010
Tombarina

Juansito, Muz, others, read and learn.

This is what an “opinion” looks like – an argument/position, reinforced with experience/evidence, and expressed with eloquence, precision and passion.

For more on the subject, try checking out Chubby’s racism piece on the Ernie Dingo page, or Mick’s observations on mining jobs in multiple threads.

I’ll happily wade through the $hits’n’giggles off-topic stuff – hell, I’ll happily contribute to it – just to read the many impassioned, qualified, sometimes confronting and frequently pi$$-funny posts on TBL.

Off to the coast – have a lovely weekend, kiddies.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Tombarina,
glad to see you did not include common man in your list, as no one has been able to figure out what he means.
as for Muzzel and wharn see tow , well less said the better as otherwise we only encourage them.
I would add peter to the list though. I can understand what he says , just dont like it

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

don’t forget your rashie.

much love, chubby

16 04 2010
Gorey

The Internet’s to blame. Has anyone said that yet? I haven’t had time to wade through all the whinging from people taking things way too seriously.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I agree Gorey!!!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
Most likley our members of our Navy are too busy working during work hours to notice your trite trash comments.
However you should go do some research before commenting
The old truism, “Whyu keep quite for fear of making a fool of yourself when you can speak up and put it beyond doubt right now” comes to mind.
Australia has the best Diesel electric Subs in the world and Diesel Electric are styill the best for usew in Litoral waters where we have to operate so much of the time.
In the Medium term we will have Aegis equiped destroyers with awesome power.
Our locally built Patroll boats are internationally very well regarded and an Australian Company has set up a factory , well two actually, in the USA to build Littorall combat ships.

If only our modern combat forces needed “Cannon Fodder” you would have a use. otherwise and as it is i cannot see one.
Maybe as an entertainer, for some sorry dudes somewhere.

Best not to mount arguments based on our submarine program, James. Having the world’s best diesel subs is like paying 50 trillion dollars to win a Commonwealth Games gold medal. TBL

16 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
– Abraham Lincoln

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
Thank you, I couldnt put the handle to it like I should.
Must be the Metho ??
Either the Metho or the Cinzano that I add. thinks , thinks again, must be the Cinzano !!

16 04 2010
James Hunter

TBL, with due respect there are still some things diesels do better then nukes,as im sure you know these are also some of the things that matter.

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

james, with all due respect
there is nothing the collins class does well.
blind pew could hear them coming.
stealth fail.
sub fail.
the bushmaster vehicle on the other hand…

16 04 2010
Tombarina

An ex-RAN mate referred to them as the “Lleyland P76 of the sea”.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
True, when they entered service they wwere noiseyish but those issues , at least the ones I know of are long ago fixed.
Things like battery noise, fan and pump bearings and isolation , pump impeller cavitation , all fixed as I understand.
The main noise problem was propeller noise and that was sorted with some help with computer machining programs from the (horror, but true) Americans. This Help was one of the problems with tghe boats designers being Swedish so there were technology security/transfer issues.Again all long sorted.
In Multi force competitions they still do very well.
The Bush master is an understated export achiever, as was the Barra Sonor Boy.
We are currently enjoying export success with our Naval surface ship Missile decoy missile

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’m sure I heard recently we’re tendering for a new sub, having given up on the collins.
but my ear is a long way from the ground.

The new tender is for vessels not due to come into service until about 2025 (and add another 5 years for delays, budget wrangling, faults), to coincide with the planned end of the Collins Class era. TBL

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

thankyou for putting my lugs firmly in the dirt.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

um, wrong. nukes can’t “switch off”, the cooling systems run all the time, which, given decent passive sonar arrays, sounds like someone running a bath. stick to what you know TBL.

16 04 2010
Peter

Oh, James Hunter, sorry to hear about it… Perhaps you should enlist if you’re so impressed by the Australian navy. My father spent his entire working life in the employment of the Australian Navy and I, pops, was a navy brat. As if a got-up attempt to induce shame or guilt disguised behind (quite inaccurate) specification updates from the likes of a barely employed and therefore over employed gypsy such as yourself isn’t the most laughable thing I’ve read all night. But do carry on, you’re coming across as ‘very well regarded’.

16 04 2010
James Hunter

Peter,
Why not ask someone with recent experience like Ironhalo to comment?
Peter for you information I have consulted on and designed and delivered electronic items for the Australian Army and the Australian Navy so do in fact have more first hand and relatively recent knowledge then yourself. Just to skite a bit I have also done similar work for CSIRO and Telstra as wwell as private companies too numerous to list here.SO, despite being semi retired and a performing artiste it may come as a suprise to you to find that I have had a full professional life in a previous world.

17 04 2010
common man

so jh was a computer repairman?

17 04 2010
James Hunter

common man,
congratulations, your first ever posting that is understandable by us mear mortals.
Unfortunately total bull shit as usual
my speciality was military and other hi tech batteries across such a range of applications as you could not concieve so no point in elaborating.
I would suggest you stick to selling drugs as it appears that taking them successfully is outside your skills set , sorry, if you have one that is.

17 04 2010
common man

so woopy you worked for tenix or fats targetting systems but alas a true entrapenure does not test his own cooking that,s what you are here for LOL.

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

Call off the alarms guys and girls, mystery solved.

Boyfriend has ‘father issues’. We used to get these guys at recruiting all the time, Dad/relative was ADF, forced their son to apply after a life of (perhaps selfishly) moving from city to city claiming ‘the military will sort you out son’, or ‘I’m very disappointed you want to become an ‘x’ son, you should bloody well join the ADF.’ After years of never seeing Dad and blaming the service for his perceived neglected childhood, poor Peter is now a vitriolic zealot, with a passionate hatred of the military and anyone in it. Don’t worry mate, I’m not being patronising when I say I understand. You are far from being the lone ranger.

You could write a book on the amount of ADF fathers who expect their sons to join. I remember a general’s son coming in for his interviews who broke down and told the psychologist ‘I never wanted to join or apply, Dad is making me do it.’

It all makes sense now.

Oh and as for the modern Navy, things have come a long way since the rum filled five month cruises ‘up top’ of old. The old senior sailors et al mostly got out in the 90s after realising that the service expected them to actually work, instead of come to work and sleep off a hangover.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

well, if we’re going to bring up “rum”, then we must make mention of the “lash”…
and what was that other thing?

or was that the Royal Navy? ;)

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

The Royal Navy mate. *cough, looks left and right*

Haha!

17 04 2010
common man

peter jh,s hate for the amercan,s war monger lifestyle reference,s his work in that line not sounding hypocritical just sounding like the 1st stabbing from”the revenge of comman man”

16 04 2010
Peter

Also,

for this “That’s us, Peter, we serve to protect you from the bogan. TBL” I shall be eternally grateful and forever in your debt, TBL.

16 04 2010
Andrew

Something that’s always bothered me about last year’s bushfires was the (ultimately) tragic lack of awareness by so many people living in the great divide.
All that week people were being more than adequately warned how that day would be marked by hot temperatures and high winds.
Did any of these people use that week to truly prepare for what was coming?
On the day in question, there were significant fires between Kilmore and Avenel. And in the afternoon, the winds changed direction suddenly and abruptly. As they do when bushfires create their own weather patterns.
And still so many people stayed, preferring to fight rather than flee.
Many of them the same people who plant pine trees along their drive and around their house because they think they look pretty and have obviously never seen how they explode in a fire.
This is Australia people, and it can be a tough, tough country when Mother Nature puts on her dukes.
Living in the bush is wonderful, but also brings responsibility.
Like not running round in your shorts and thongs with a quarter inch hose in your hand.
Like understanding weather patterns and constantly monitoring every available news source to keep updated.
Please don’t get me wrong, it was truly horrific to listen to the news reports and the growing death count. But I can’t help but wonder how many more people could have been saved if they had been better prepared and got out when it was time to get out.
Should Christine have left to go for tea? Probably not. But to hold her responsible is another indication of the untimely passing of what once went for granted in the bush – common fuck horse sense!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

bravo.
on topic.
There is nothing so uncommon as common sense. (mark twain?)
as I mentioned at the off, baby jesus himself couldn’t have stopped that fire, within about five minutes of it initiating.
christine and her chums should have decamped to more convivial surrounds to do what they could via laptop and blackberry. One should seek comfort in a crisis. she shoul
SMBS this “commanders having a sandwich in the trenches with the boys.”
Where do you think the red tabs were when the shit went down in Fiji?
Up in the O Mess of the HMAS Tobruk, that’s where they were! A la f*cking cart in the O Mess but you boys can get by with ten man rat packs for a week!! I Was There when it WENT DOWN in 87!!!

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

*ld have had the f*cking mignon

16 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I blame the Cabernet!

16 04 2010
Bam

Nixon eats while Vicco burns.

Parmageddon.

As for the Oils, always been a bit too B&S.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
The government intends to build 12 new subs. They have not “given up on the Collins” as you suggest it is simply that if we start the process now by the time the new ships are ready the Collins will have reached the end of their service life.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

ok.
ta.

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

There’s also the old story that does the rounds that the Collins were so crap when they were first made because the government went back on some of the funding and wanted ‘the cheap version’.

Of course after Navy proved how crap they were, the government coughed up the money they were SUPPOSED to spend on them originally….also it helped them save face. Now (manning problems aside) they are the best conventional sub in the world, and have proved their worth many times over.

Not that the public will ever be aware of that though….submarines are called ‘the silent service’ for a reason!

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Ironhalo,
Again thank you
The comment”they are the best conventional sub in the world” is what I have been trying to tell everyone all day !!
The other thing the civi cynics dont unnderstand is that diesels do some things better then nukes especially in litorall waters.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Chubby,
no probs,
Peter is being peter again this a.m. I hardly think he is worthy of continued response?

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Alright everyone just calm down.
None of this actually means anything.
It’s not the Bulletin here.

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

my cats breath smells like catfood.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Hahaha! That is my favourite and most oft recounted Simpsons quote!

My other is when he tells Bart about the leprechaun in his sand box encouraging pyromania.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Is that a Ralph quote?

17 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Ralph Wiggum.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“…and the doctor said if I stopped putting my finger up there it wouldn’t bleed so much!”

17 04 2010
sideshow

Muzz,
let it go they are quite happy with their mutual masturbation society.
Cm,
keep up the good work the subtleties are amusing, but let Frank sorry I mean Fi of toorak have their say as you are quite welcome to reply.
Juansito,
just shut the f*ck up you have not added to this site one iota.
Thanks
P.s My ear hurts and my neck hurts I have two owwwies.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

I ate my purple

17 04 2010
Peter

Ironhalo: wrong again. Sorry. Although it is further evidence of your continued delusion. However I’ll give you this: you’re very predictable and quite obvious.

The thing is my old man never expected or ever once suggested that I enlist in either the navy or any branch of military service. He actually went to considerable effort to teach me how best to respond to the vicissitudes of life. Ergo, I am a well adjusted person who can spot a phony from a hundred paces. Unlike you. I also do not have to worry ever time I stick my hand in my pocket.

The Australian navy never got guys like me at recruiting time. Good God, what inbred part of the boonies do you hail from? You see, my old man, like many of his fellows, considered the Australian navy useless. When it came to mine or the future of any of my siblings, if only for the sake of evolution, he decided to break the mould. You, on the other hand, are shackled to incorrect opinions and preconceived beliefs and judgments made without properly ascertaining the facts.

However your snide, self-absorbed and callous mocking of those navy families who, thanks to the pathetic way the majority of their time was managed by the Australian navy suffer continuing emotional and mental trauma, shows exactly what type of middle-class twat you really are.

I’ll leave you and your right hand alone now, chancer. I have an obligation to those I employ (all 285 of them). Not bad for a vitriolic zealot, with a passionate hatred of the military and anyone in it, is it?

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

gee 285?

that little tidbit gave us more insight to your ‘character’ than all the preceeding posts combined.
I’m certain you display your wealth with the finest eye for luxe and taste.

17 04 2010
Peter

Also, James Hunter, with the third stage of syphilis (neurosyphilis) so evidently taking its toll and leaving you confused and disoriented, I’ll bet you wish that Penicillin allergy was different…

17 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Anyone else notice we are about as off target as a bottleshop in Toorak trying to sell Passion pop. Actually I always thought that was an urbane myth but lo and behold the local Dan Murphy outlet here in boganvilla has it in stock … by the pallet load. Guess the “passion” appeals to your average bogette.

*Sigh*, as expect the Aussie movie “Beneath Hill 60″ didn’t get a huge release over the weekend as your normal flag waving, wearing, and tattooed bogan would rather see some yank conveyor belt effort than anything locally made. Yes the country is fill of patriots who are proud to be Aussie (oi oi oi) except when it comes to local movies. TBL, a column is needed!

17 04 2010
Tombarina

XBH, I suspect that part of the problem may be that Beneath Hill 60 simply isn’t very good. Ditto Kokoda.

Australia produces some excellent films, but I’m convinced the funding panel is peopled solely by unmedicated depressives, who only approve $$$ for dark, miserable tales of suburban incest/family dysfunction/substance abuse.

As an avid cinema-goer, I’ll suck up the Aussie doom’n’gloom, but I wouldn’t mind a giggle once in a while.

Anyone else have any thoughts on the subject?

17 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Tombarina Australia has of course produced the greatest ever bogan movie (outside the “Twilight” franchise of course) ironically named “Australia”. Chanel Bogan might haved raved about how good it was, but to be honest it really is a poo stain on the frabric of Aussie cinema.

‘Camilla Hyde”, “Coffin Rock”, and “Lucky Country” in contrast are excellent local movies.

17 04 2010
martin

You gotta be kidding. That movie was ruined by extreme libtardness. Aboriginals that can run as fast as a car and have magic powers to stop a heard of rushing bulls, yeah right. I only watched 20 minutes of it and switched it off. The bogans hated it, in fact everyone did, and the bogans decided the most interesting thing about it was berating Nicole about her new face.

Ug say white people all bad, Aboriginals all good.

17 04 2010
martin

I saw “Last Train To Freo” the other day. I thought it was pretty good. It’s just another quaint little movie like most Australian movies are. But I like that. Makes for a nice change from the big Hollywood ones.

Unfortunately all the other Australian movies I’ve seen recently have been kind of bad, but even if they are bad I still like to watch them. Like “Van Diemen’s Land”, interesting, boring as shit though, but still interesting in that morbidly boring sort of way.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Yeah! “Boring with occasional horror” should have been the synopsis. Overall it was interesting though.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

How could I forget “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”.
That movie will always be a classic to me.
These are all of the Australian movies that I can think of at the moment.
One of the last Australian movies I saw was “Candy” and I was bitterly disappointed. I found it to be such a cliché drug movie. I thought it had no real substance whatsoever.
In my humble opinion of course.

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

oops.
I clicked on the wrong reply. My first response is under this.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Priscilla was absolute gold. Some of the characters remind me so much of people I had met round The “Adelaide Fringe” Set. Realy just so real.
Like a Gay lad who got into serious strife one night trying to break INTO the Adelaide Remand Centre because his boy friend was in there.

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

“I no like you anyway! You got little dingaling!”

17 04 2010
James Hunter

AlyssaKT
Please Explain !? To borrow an expression from a famous Queenslander

18 04 2010
AlyssaKT

you don’t remember much of the movie then? It was a quote

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

How funny James.
Trying to get into the ARC.
I know a number of people who have been kicked out of the Adelaide Clinic.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
Yes we all thought it as huge giggle.
People getting kicked out of the Adelaide Clinic, now that is a different matter.
Used to be a great place to get a cheap lunch time meal though.!!

18 04 2010
XtremeBoganHunter

Which is why it made over $20 million at the Aussie box office. Dude the bogans loved this shite.

“Last Train to Freo” is indeed a goodie, very underrated.

I quite liked “Van Diemen’s Land” though the ABC/BBC production of “The Last Confession of Alexander Pearce” remains for me the definitive movie. The bogans may not have like that one as it had sub plots and other “shit” and nothing blew up.

Local Dark genre movies schedule for 2010 btw

13 Dolls In Darkness (…)
Artic Blast (Brian Trenchard-Smith)
Beautiful and the Damned, The (Richard Wolstencroft)
El Monstro Del Mar (Stuart Simpson)
Flies 3D (Jamie Blanks)
Fury, The (James Colmer)
ICU (Aash Aaron)
Last Rites (Ben Warner)
Machete Maidens Unleashed (Mark Hartley)
Needle (John V Soto)
Niflheim: Blood & Bullets (Nathaniel Iwaszko)
P.H.O.B.O.S. – Fear Kills (Martin Simpson)
Reef, The (Andrew Traucki)
Search For Weng Weng, The (Andrew Leavold)
Strawman, The (…)
Squid (Daley Pearson, Luke Tierney)
Uninhabited (Bill Bennett)

Really looking forward to “The Reef” following Traucki’s excellent “Black Water”.

19 04 2010
North_Shore_Mummy

Look Both Ways… brilliant piece of Cinema.

Beautiful Kate… disturbing but very good piece of Cinema.

There are plenty of really good, and plenty of not so great Australian movies, just as there are from any country.

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

not even morbid curiosity makes me want to see “Australia”

I was in NQ late last year. the town of Bowen (around which, I gather, the fillum was shot) has erected giant B O W E N W O O D letters which you can see from the highway.
I didn’t turn off.

BOGANWOOD
*snigger*

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart
17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart
17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

I have always like “The sum of us” even though it has our favourite Russell Crowe in it.
“Spider and Rose” is another favourite Australian movie of mine.
I have only seen “Wolf Creek” once, but I thought it was very good. John Jarratt was excellent as the murderous bushman.
Was he on Play school for a while?

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

*liked

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

you all have to see STONE.
if you have not seen STONE
your life is not complete.
high camp early 70s bogue
on motorcycles
exquisite

18 04 2010
brad

the ending is brilliant,other 70,s classics are The Man From Hong Kong and Surf City and how can you go past Mad Max(especially the dubbed version where they all have American accents)

18 04 2010
Tombarina

Brad, you’re not my husband posting under a pseudonym, are you? Because you and the Chubster have just listed his all-time favourite movies.

If I have to see that f&#king Charger car chase in TMFHK one more f@*king time, I’ll go postal.

My Beloved’s priceless collection of shite DVDs also includes The Coolangatta Gold (two copies. Not one – two), The Paul Hogan Collection, Enter the Dragon (I know, not Aussie, but certainly crap), Razorback, The Howling IV: Marsupials and The Best of Norman Gunston.

Sometimes, he’s very, very hard to love…..

18 04 2010
brad

sounds like a great,great man,if our esteemed Police Force re-introduced them in Vic our hoon problems would be over in a week(ah Chargers).The intro song in TMFHK is also a highlight.two copies of the Coolangatta Gold? i thought they were all destroyed during the great cultural purges of the mid 90,s your beloved is a true savior. If you dare too look see if he also has such aussie classics like The Odd Angry Shot and The Club.Some of my greatest assets in my collection are the Revenge of The Nerds masterpeices-all 4 of them and there’s a couple of discs from the Police Academy series.My wife does better, i think somewhere in her collection there’s a copy of BMX Bandits!

18 04 2010
martin

I love Coolangatta Gold. It’s an icon of the 80s for me. I remember seeing it at the movies in 1984 because Ghostbusters had sold out. That was back when bogans still listened to decent music before they devolved into listening to horrid shit like Nickelback, Blink 182 and Limp Bizkit.

18 04 2010
Edna Focke-witte

does anyone remember a lame spatter flick from the 80′s called “Turkey Shoot”?
I’d love to see that again.
it was all th rage when I was just a little chubby.

I dig the man from Hong Kong too.
haven’t seen that in years.
was that a george lazenby?
george c’est l’homme!

18 04 2010
Edna Focke-witte

*bubby

18 04 2010
brad

Remember some ultra violence(ultra for the 80,s) and bad acting, i think the blonde “sexpot” from Cop Shop was in it?.And yes the best Bond was in TMFHK

18 04 2010
Tombarina

I’ve consulted with the Beloved who confirms that yep, Linda Stoner was in Turkey Shoot, which he adds went to number 1 at the UK box office (?!).

You, Edna, have now “reminded” the Beloved to buy Turkey Shoot. Thanks a bunch.

He submits Don’s Party into the mix as one of the all-time great Aussie films, plus Sunday Too Far Away.

As an aside, this bloody blog inspired him to play, for the 700th time, a particularly shite scene in Coolangatta Gold which features Wilbur Wilde. Singing. And I’ve clearly lost what’s left of my tiny mind, because I’ve just found a copy of the soundtrack CD online and bought it for him. Beloved is beside himself.

18 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Tombarina,
True love means swallowing the chunks and pressing on (although I am truly sorry).

My own beloved reminded me of the movie and he’s gutted that he can’t find a torrent for either this or TMFHK.
Rest assured he will now hunt down the DVDs.

Admittedly my hubby is 15years older than I and is forever dragging me through the history of Australian Television/Film/Music Industry.
If only I hadn’t been born in the 80′s I could almost wish they never happened.

And don’t get me started on Max f*cking Headroom! :D

18 04 2010
Tombarina

Oh, Edna, allow me to help YOU!
Look! You can buy TMFHK here!
http://fetchdvd.com.au/?affiliate=8&titleid=DVMFHK&utm_source=getprice&utm_medium=cpc
Even betterer, Turkey Shoot’s also available!!!!! No need to thank me…..

18 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

it’s ok,
I popped his eyes out with a parfait spoon before he saw the link!

*phew*
but thanks all the saaame.

18 04 2010
brad

ha ha ha classic, have met Wilbur on a few occasions (that cant be classified as name dropping can it?) and he is a gentleman and would probaly deny all knowledge of aforementioned incident.An old James Reyne playing a young James Reyne in the Postcard Bandit comes to mind.

18 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

the greatest aussie film ever – Fern Gully

18 04 2010
Tombarina

Chub, I’ll take it over some of the crap I’m forced to endure.

And Brad, I’d forgotten that James Reyne fancied himself as an actor. I seem to also recall him in a dreadful Tina Turner bio and in Return to Eden.

And either James or David Reyne was in Sweet and Sour – the ABC series about wannabe rockers called The Takeaways. I had the soundtrack – on tape. Sharon O’Neill and Deborah Conway singing….

18 04 2010
brad

Sweet and Sour,pretty sure would have been David as The Crawl were in their hey day at this time.Cant remember Deborah Conway though,but i used too only watch it when i was a youngin because it was on before “Monkey” ha ha.

19 04 2010
Tombarina

You’re right. David Reyne.

Deborah Conway didn’t appear in it – she sang the lead song Sweet & Sour which was written by, and later also recorded by, Sharon O’Neill.

C’mon, you remember….”some days the wind blows hot and coooolllllldddd, life can be sweet and sour, but I am in control, it can chill you to the bone, give you wings to fly on your owwwwwwwnnnnnn….I am in control….”

I watched it because I wanted to be Tracey Mann’s character…and because it was the lead-in to Monkey too!

19 04 2010
Simon - Glasser at Arms

Ah, Monkey, best we do not start on that or we will be well over 1000 posts.

*sings softly born in an egg on a mountain top, monkey is funky la la la *

19 04 2010
Tombarina

I nearly put my shoulder out doing the cloud-summoning action. Should have sued….

20 04 2010
brad

I had that bloody song stuck in my head all Monday!-swine,all of you! lol

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

Indubitably!!!

17 04 2010
common man

xbh you forgot “bab boy chubby” damn were,s my cling wrap got too?

17 04 2010
Edna Focke-Witte

Oh common man, that was actually funny!

17 04 2010
Fiona of Toorak

LOL. I’m pretty close to making the call that cm has in fact, come over to the good side.

17 04 2010
James Hunter

Fi,
How could you welcome him into our midst. We know not where he has been!
He also knows not where he has been.
Methinks he also not know where he is.

17 04 2010
common man

jealous much?

17 04 2010
James Hunter

consummed

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Edna,
CM is probably using the cling wrap with a rubber band !!

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“be still you little c*nt”

17 04 2010
brad

your a good boy chubby

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

If he tells me you’ve moved, by Christ I’ll beat you brainless!

Love that movie….so wrong!

17 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

gold.

rolf de heer is an odd cat.

19 04 2010
Whistling Nixie

I never thought I’d see something that made ‘Eraserhead’ look like a Disney movie in comparison. But there you go.

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’ve got “Salo” here somewhere.
I’m still not sure if I want to watch it.

19 04 2010
Tombarina

One word, seven syllables: eeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwwuwwwwuwuwww.

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

… yeah that’s what I heard.

for your hubby Tomba…

“Running on Empty”
“Midnight Spares”
Classic Bogue

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

Peter, again, your deep seated vitriol only proves my point.

Issues.

17 04 2010
toony

I hate this site. Big Lebowski quotes which get stuck in my head worse than Rick Astley songs…
…and now those great tits of Flo. :(

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

One of the seven wonders of the world might we add.

‘I knooow you’re in there Florence! I’ve seen you come and go!!!’

17 04 2010
AlyssaKT

glad wrap cat!

17 04 2010
Ironhalo

Bubby: ‘Why cat….no gas maaask?’
Flo: ‘Cat don’t breathe.’
Bubby: ‘What’s breathe?’
*Flo holds Bubby’s nose for 1 minute or so until he frantically grabs for breath*
Flo: ‘That’s breathe.’

Hahahaha!

17 04 2010
Peter

Ironhalo: yawn…

18 04 2010
Lachlan

Using Nixon as an example, I get. But Peter Garrett has ministerial responsibility, if he, or someone in his ministry screws up, it’s his responsibility.

18 04 2010
XXX

In regard to Christine Nixon, I have zero sympathy and she is getting precisely what she deserves. My husband is a policeman and they are not allowed to speak out without fear of losing their jobs despite not being able to properly man most suburban police stations on any given day. They are luck if they have enough members at a station to put a van on the road and they are expected to do their job perfectly or the wrath of the Ethical Standards Department (roughly 500 strong) will bear down on them. This is despite being so short staffed that they no longer have days to do their correspondence or even do pro-active policing like they used to. They are not entitled to natural justice and can be sacked without being able to appeal the decision. They cannot talk to the media about their conditions. Then they see Simon Overland go through an airport with a loaded gun and face no consequenses and Christine Nixon have a lovely day of hair appointments, meetings with the biographer and dinner out on the worst day in Victoria’s history. Guess what? No consequences! The rank and file are belted every day for the most minor infractions and the brass get away with whatever they like. They all know this and they can do nothing about it! Tony Vangorp sends on a harmless little email after 30 years loyal and fantastic service and loses his job. Fairly minor in comparison to what Christine Nixon is being accused of and Tony Vangorp is now dead! Fuck her! She deserves every thing she is getting!

18 04 2010
common man

xxx You got it spot on in so many ways its scary.I watched an old mate get demoted for questioning the revenue qouta to concentrate on pro active policing.Yes they are understaffed an utilised by the hypocritical top brass in a media/public grabbing frenzy to appear they are being active in our community whilst we all know the decisions come from the top an that,s were the blame should stay.Perfect example of this is TIM HOLDING,how many portfolio,s must he fail before being held accountable?

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

I’d suggest Vangorp’s “harmless email” says more about his character than “30 years of … service”
f*ck him if he wasn’t smart enough to work that one out.

18 04 2010
lighthouse

Internet Rule #1:

Any readable post will be followed by pages of pretentious, self serving load of bollocks…sorry…”comments”.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Sam,16.54.49,
Very well put.
yes communism works well in theory. problem is human nature takes over and you end up with what they had in CCCP(USSR)
Human nature is to be gready ,to lie,to cheat ,to be the most agressive successful stalker,hunter killer in the forest/veldt .It also makes us acusitive.The desire to hoard is as “natural” as the desire to kill. Hoard for ourselves,our family our tribe. not for the rest of human kind.
All the touchy feely do gooder sentiments in the world will not change what we are. what we are has made us what we are !
Capitalism (realcapitalism) in the real worlsd is a perfect example of this , so expect people to be philanthropic is asking a bit much. Philanthrophy starts after ones own needs and ones family/tribe whatever are safe.it never comes first
Sorry to dribble on
but yes the ignorant are truly very ignorant.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

make us “”aquisitive”” ment to be

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Count von stenmkII,
If you are implying that anything for which there is mo market there is no need then I think you been away from women too long that or you actually do prefer playing with youreself.
So the market will provide timely defence of our country?? , education and healthcare in a fashion both timley and sufficient for our needs??
I could go on but I think I go and have a wank instead be more productive.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

18 04 2010
common man

jh if we wanted to be bullied by moron,s we would’ve stopped at the uhlan,s agm last nite instead of driving past.So keep your insultive quipped beligerant retorts to someone that care,s eg;yourself

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

who benefits from a $1 billion stadium? the people who insist the gubment builds it. no one here will be permitted to use it for free whenever they like. Would you happily agree to contribute money to the construction of a brick making plant, if all you ever got out of it was to drive past on occasion?

Schools: there are private schools, community schools, religious schools. wow.
Healthcare: live sensibly, or it’ll cost you loads to scrape the double whoppers from your arterial passages.

Defense is a task for the federal government, paid for by sin taxes – alcohol, tobacco and gambling taxes. Having a gold standard makes it impossible to wage war for any sustained length of time; its just too expensive. War is the preserve of those who will never get their hands dirty, IMO it is the dumbest invention we’ve ever come up with.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

CVSMkIIOMC,
Wars have been round a lot longer them capitalism.
the rest of your refutals make as muck sense.
ie nosenseatall

18 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

If a war will cost you everything, you will not go to war. Capitalism is not the free market. free markets have been around for aeons.
Since you’re saying the Austrian School is nonsensical, please enlighten me as to your economic school. Stalin? Mao? Pol Pot? Idi Amin? would love to know.

18 04 2010
Sam

So the entire world has to subscribe to the fairytale free market or some pesky little socialist state with a few tanks will roll the world.

It will never work because of human nature, just like communism.

I like the sound of your fairytale world though – no war, only peace, love, gold standards and free markets. It would form the basis of a great movie – everyone could live in a giant tree and ride around on flying dragon things?

19 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

Lets say i have a car for sale. you want to buy a car. we negotiate and come to an agreement. Welcome to the free market. Since you despise it so much, i hope you get the gubmint to tell you what to buy, when to buy it and how much to pay.

there will always be war in one form or another. at 29, i have served in 3 theatres already. I avoided making new friends because it hurts when they are killed by a kid with an AK or a grenade. If gold is the only real money, then spending all you have on a war becomes a non event. You’d hardly sell all you have and take it to the casino or racetrack would you?

You probably work for the government, hence your support for the status quo, but there will come a time when governments are fractions of their former selves. Personal Liberty is directly linked to government intervention. Big government = No Liberties. Small Government = High levels of personal liberties. Which do you prefer?
And you still haven’t answered the question on which economic school you subscribe to. waiting……..

19 04 2010
Sam

You make some strange assumptions and extrapolations!

I think free markets are great and I despise over the top government intervention. I could not agree more with the problems it has caused in many sectors of the economy. However, some areas need government intervention and this will inevitably skew other areas of the economy and so on it goes until we have the hybrid mess that we have now – fixing one probelm by creating 3 new ones.

I think world peace is great and that hunger should be abolished. I also believe that neither of these will be acheived in my life time. Do you see the theme? There is a difference between seeing the benefits of something and being blinded by it.

I just think that your utopian idea of a pure market world is a pipe dream. It cannot and will not happen.

I am lost with your gold standard = no war theory! When did the gold standard go out the window? When did wars start? hmmm. There are hundreds of wars in history that prove your theory wrong and no evidence to the contrary.

19 04 2010
Sam

oh and your car for sale example is not a free market example at all.

My decision will be swayed by:
a) registration costs – determined by the government and based on size, weight, power (or however they do it now)
b) fuel consumption – excise duty on the petrol that the car will consume will influence the price I am willing to pay
c) service costs – is it an imported car? If so then I am sure there are more taxes to be paid here.

As you can see, all of these influences and many, many more will need to be removed before even your simple example is actually a free market.

18 04 2010
James Hunter

Well people do not go to war thinking it will cost them everything, that they are wrong and that ity does is always a surprise to one side or the other.
The intention of the party starting a war is that it will cost the other side everything and that they will gain everything.
So you see to be prepaired to defend your self is what most concider a different matter. By your logic one should not defend onself even if that lack of defensive capacity should cost you everything makes sense.
Most people would disagree with you and I think you would too.
If you are in your home and intruders enter to rob you and yours and to rape ypour wife would you stand by ?If you would defend yourself then I think you would also for just cause go to wart to defend what is your countrys. If not then you sir a are a lost cause

18 04 2010
common man

yes jh i can see the benefits of america,s war on afganisthan.. not!!!!you should give up your witch hunt like they should on osama or waste another 8 years an billions on a lost war/argument in your case.How many american,s are still suffering in new orlean,s katrina,s wake,hmm only the reader,s of this blog in your case.WAR is all about power strugle,s an if we do not have enough our forged allicence,s will help a national threat.Geez even i know if our army wasnt sucking up to our allincene,s they might be able to protect our border,s better or spend that wasted money on infastructure at home.A lesson that america has not learnt yet whilst million,s suffer in their homeland.So read my comment above an get over it already you unforgiving soul

19 04 2010
Count Von Sten Mk II Habsburg of Monte Carlo

link to where i said we should abolish the ADF.

The D is for Defence. not “Damn, lets get mixed up in crazy foreign adventures in the graveyards of empires”!

19 04 2010
Peter

XXX: it’s common knowledge that cops are the biggest criminals of the lot. You infer a one law for the rich and another for others-type of prevailing attitude within the halls of power – or practically any other place the collective resentment decides upon, however you also overlook the long and widely acknowledged levels of corruption the police service has been associated with over the years. Sorry, perhaps your husband has had nothing to do with such behaviour, but I’m not so naive to believe the anti-corruption commissions or wowser rabble-rousering did very much at all to remove the problems it set out to in the first place.

20 04 2010
big_fat_floppy_juloppies

no, Aboriginals are…to be technical

21 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

you’re a fuckwit.

I give up.

19 04 2010
chubbybloodfart

“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher