It Begins

14 10 2009

These guys:

Bogan Zero

are bogans. They are, perhaps, the prototypical bogans. They aspire to cool. They aspire to adulation. They look to David and Victoria Beckham, and sigh. They dress their one year-old daughter in a matching outfit to her mother at a TV awards night. This is the new bogan paradigm.

This guy:

Chris Franklinis your more traditional bogan. But this bogan is harmless. He does not colonise. He does not post racist rants on news website blogs. He does not buy enough tickets to ensure Pink plays 75 straight nights at Rod Laver Arena. No, he is happy to pick up tickets to the occasional AC/DC tour, and beyond that he stays home, nursing a cold drink, watching telly. He is happy. He does not invade every bar that is mentioned in the entertainment section, hoping to spot a minor celebrity. He does not attend classy restaurants wearing jeans and painfully self conscious Converse. He doesn’t go to a gig by a buzz band, then proceed to get spastic drunk and have yelling conversations three metres from the stage. He is, by and large, a top bloke.

We will endeavour to highlight the new bogan lifestyle. And we will fight against it. Welcome to Things Bogans Like.


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34 responses

22 10 2009
freddy

Stanley
You just dont have a clue do you
Bogans dont read books full stop, or own fake buddist icons or any of the above, mullets excluded, lets face it, in your over wordy diatribe all your really showing is that you suffer with bogan envy!
Regards Freddy.

23 10 2009
Franga

I think you mean “you’re”, in your reference to what this blog is “really showing”. The misuse of apostrophes (and grammar in general) is another thing bogans like.

1 11 2009
Lana

oooooo you can spell!! Soooo jealous…

5 11 2009
brad

this from someone who calls themselves “franga”

23 10 2009
rustybeamish

Indeed – stay tuned for an entire post on misused apostrophes and disastrous malapropisms…

23 10 2009
Ben

This is genius.

Nouveau-bogan cultural warfare.

24 10 2009
Master of Boganry

Can I suggest something that might make the list?
Bogans love nothing more than jazzing up their incessant breeding by naming offspring in either kitsch old fashioned grandma / grandpa form (e.g. Jack, Ruby) and even moreso, trendy-spelling names to make it unique: e.g. Skai, Jephree. Occasionally the trendy-creative ones will go all out, making up a name from scratch, combining pronouncable syllables at will.
To top off the mental names, they also need a $900 pram for little Lacee-Mai.

5 11 2009
brad

maybe they actually do have grandparents with those names,it is apossibility, i wonder “master of boganry ” when you and your “partner” adopt will they chuck in a name for you as a bonus or will you too have to make a choice for a name and if you do it better be good!

25 10 2009
Olaf

There should be something about giving their kids weird spellings of names eg Taylah

30 10 2009
Frank

Soooo true…

Bogans should not refer to people who are in a certain class…

there are so many rich bogans out there..even though they have money they still are educated, ignorant dumb scrum rats of society.

love this blog!!!!!

1 11 2009
Richard

Bogans are so necessary to Australian society, i.e. what would news media have to report on?

1 11 2009
hazchem

and who would watch Today Tonight or A Current Affair?

1 11 2009
stuffboganslike

Hey way to rip of my blog guys…!
A blog I started in July. I guess this means bogan war.

1 11 2009
nonprej

You shouyld not be so prejedice in my country Australia I’m am of 6 generationation hard working colonial stock and any knid of prejedice is not tolerated in my country so get OUT!!

1 11 2009
nonprej

It makes me so angry to find in this country there are still the “aristrocatic One’s” that know best for all australians the fact remains that in the antelopes it will always be a place for all peoples seking adventure the one thing australia could always get rid of is those opinative “aristrocats” if people like those writing this article who speak for all intelligent australians had never arrive australia would have been a better place keep trying PRINCE arthur keep trying (ARW) (australian Royal wannabe) lets have a go at them

1 11 2009
Armando

oh shut it, bogan.

4 11 2009
Matt

The grammer! The spelling! The punctuation! My eyes are bleeding from reading that. I really hope you were drunk while typing that, because our education system has something to answer for if you weren’t.

8 02 2010
vice

Aristo…cats?

1 11 2009
dazz

today I went out and saw…PICNIC BOGANS
bigoted – actually continually referred to an indonesian family as “those non-australians” “who didnt know how to barbeque” whilst 10 of them they ate their way through a hugh catering box of take away chicken and chips, buffed “large!” lads with undercuts, clad in dickies, tramp stamps, inappropriately dressed kids with mispelt names (you could just tell that little Taylor was actually Tae-lah), obligatory facial hair, I would have loved to see the hire purchased cars they were driving.

2 11 2009
jack

dazz- bogan
haha looks like you will be joining them

1 11 2009
tjios

“Bogans should not refer to people who are in a certain class…

there are so many rich bogans out there..even though they have money they still are educated, ignorant dumb scrum rats of society.”

I agree. The stereotype of the ‘lower class’ bogan belongs to old Australia. A lot of Aussies argue there is no such thing as a ‘typical bogan’ anymore because the image has changed, but what Aussies don’t understand is that a bogan is really a state of mind, not a postcode, and not necessarily a fashion style either(although that’s obviously part of it). A bogan, then, is a culturally unsophisticated person. It’s not tied to money, or even education. Plenty of Aussies are educated but still qualify as bogans. They are just ‘reformed bogans’.

The only bogans i respect are the old school ones. The guys that don’t pretend to be anything other than what they are.

2 11 2009
Armando

it’s the Gen Yer bogan who keeps embarrasing himself. You know the “howies” “hewitts” of this world.

3 11 2009
Dave (or is it Davo?)

The more offended someone gets, obviously, the more bogan they are. I admit i considered numbered plates, stupyd kids names, and what have you… but i quickly realised what a moronic idea that was.

One thing that I cannot stand, is the music festival bogans. I’m in the music industry and these people offend my sensibilities as a promoter and artist manager. I formally invite everyone to a concept I have been working on for a few months now, called WankFest. No bands or DJs playing, just come and hang out, pay ridiculous amounts for alcohol, and take photos of yourself so you can post them on facebook!

3 11 2009
Poider

Brilliantly perceptive – I was vaguely aware of some sort of cultural shift going on but couldn’t put my finger on it. Bogan Theory – explaining how boganism has escaped its class origins to infect society as a whole.

5 11 2009
Marty

Love it. Bogans are a fashion statement nowadays instead of being someone you know, they are now people aspiring to something different. They are self-actualising retards who don’t know what the “self” is and keep trying to tell and show people how to live.

Our PM is a bogan.

5 11 2009
Robbie

This is the funiest thing I have read in ages!!!
I can’t wait for the future installments haha

11 11 2009
its life for no reason its death for no reason its murder « sincerely i must tell you

[...] haven’t read that book but i think it would be a lot like Things Bogans Like. my personal favorites [...]

13 11 2009
nonprej

Why don’t we and go back to buring yuppies there much more fun than people that are already oppresses at least yuppies don’t have problems forget about bogan or am i treding on the author’s toes (lol)

23 11 2009
Emma

Love this! So funny. Well done :)

17 01 2010
jesus

you have not truly seen a bogan if you have not been to TAFE
it is hectic
fubu pants EVERYWHERE

2 02 2010
stephen

thank god you’re here!! there’s been no one to turn to since Roy and HG.

10 09 2010
kranky al

i cant help but think the old school bogan would despise the new school bogan to the point of “glassing the cunt” – of course he wouldnt use a glass – he’s old school – he’d just punch the absolute shit out of him whilst mumbling something about “pootfa’ in that fuken’ stupid colourful shit shirt with fucken’ tigers all over it” having achieved said task, he would go back to minding his own business.

9 11 2010
UnbogAn

Also : excessive use of the term ‘unaustralian’ to cover up their intolerance. And let’s not forget they are huge fans of talk back radio and shock jocks. Pretending to be with the times but outdated thinking.

6 12 2012
Chris

Few more thoughts…
Riccadonna
Cask Wine
Housewarming Parties
Kath & Kim
Desperate Housewives

I also want to compliment the author on LV, Moet and Tiff & Co. Nothing beats Bogan like a chubby chick trying to escape the clutches of boganism with expensive shit like Tiffany & co.

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